The document discusses strategies for preventing child tantrums before they start. It recommends filling your child's need for attention with daily one-on-one playtime. It also suggests covering their basic needs like food, rest, and affection. Additionally, it advises helping children understand and cope with their emotions through empathy and explaining emotions. Finally, the document states the importance of setting clear expectations for behavior to avoid frustration and tantrums.
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How to Stop Your Child’s Tantrums Before
They Start
by Lachlan Soper | Jun 9, 2021 | Family & Parenting, Lachlan Soper
One of the biggest realities we face as parents are that our children might not
always be the “angels” we see them as. Realistically, there will be times of
pouting, crying, kicking, and screaming. When you’re faced with a child’s
tantrum, it’s easy to feel at a loss or even let your own emotions get the best of
you as their parent.
The best way to handle a tantrum is to stop them before they start. While this
could seem like an impossible feat, here are a few strategies to help you
through it:
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Fill Your Child’s Attention
While it may seem like there aren’t enough minutes in a day, it’s important to
devote time and undivided attention to your child. Take 10 to 15 minutes a day
to do exactly what your child wants to do. Spend time, just the two of you, to
give your child attention and show them that you acknowledge what they want
to do. Whether this is – playing marbles, catching balls, hitting tennis balls,
shooting hoops, jumping on the trampoline, playing Connect 4 or other board
games, baking cookies, etc––your undivided attention will do wonders.
By filling up their need for attention with these 15 minutes of one on one time,
you’re likely to see a decrease in the number of tantrums they throw.
Cover the Basics
Throughout the day, especially when they are young, a child will have endless
needs. Tantrums can start from the simplest mishaps or frustration. To stop a
tantrum before it starts, cover all the basics of your child’s needs. Think about if
they could be hungry, need a nap, could use some playtime, or even just a hug.
Cover these basics by giving them snacks throughout the day, scheduling
designated nap times, and some attention. This will make your child feel loved
and comfortable, decreasing the likelihood of a tantrum.
Help Them Through Emotions
Just as you’ve taught your child to talk and walk, it is equally important to teach
them to understand their emotions. Children are often buckets of unfiltered
emotions. Helping them to understand and cope with their emotions is one of
the best ways to prevent an outburst. It’s important to empathize with and
validate your child when it comes to their feelings because in their early ages
it’s the first time they are truly experiencing these strong emotions. It can be
just as overwhelming and surprising for them as it is for you.
To help them understand their emotions, react appropriately by using your
words to explain. Address why they are feeling this way, how they can
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approach this emotion, and how to cope with it. Talking them through it can
deescalate the situation and stop a tantrum in its tracks.
Set Expectations
Again. It is our job as parents to teach our children. Another lesson they must
learn is to meet expectations. For your child to know something is wrong and
that they are disobeying you, it’s imperative to set your expectations.
Frustration (for adults and children) is often a result of unmet expectations.
One of the reasons your child may have a tantrum is due to the fact they’re
getting in trouble for something they didn’t know they couldn’t do.
For example, no matter how clear it is to us as adults, a toddler will not
automatically know that painting on the walls is wrong. This is why parents
must always set clear and concise expectations. These expectations do not
have to be radical, but simple and easy to understand. When you put the
paintbrush in their hand, tell them that you expect them to only paint on the
paper you give them and nowhere else. Clear guidelines such as these may
help prevent an outburst or tantrum later on.
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