This article is about how you be happy while feeling lonely. Whenever you feel down, the only thing that comes to mind is find happiness. It is from this background that I have provided a good way of finding happiness in your lonely moments.

1. HOW TO BE HAPPY IN YOUR LONELINESS
Loneliness is a complex and widespread issue that affects people of all ages and backgrounds.
Chronic loneliness is considered as a risk factor for mental and physical health and it is
associated with increased ill health. It can also have significant negative social and economic
consequences. Today, many people are choosing to live alone and delay in starting a family due
to various reasons. The bases for living alone are numerous and these include cost of living,
changed attitudes, and old age. Whatever the reason could be, living alone has become more
prevalent across the globe in recent times. The country with the highest percentage of people
who live alone is Sweden which has nearly 47 percent of its population living alone. This is
followed by the United Kingdom with 34 percent, Japan with 31 percent and Italy with 29
percent. These countries are followed by the United States having 28 percent of its population
living alone, then Canada with 27 percent and Russia with 25 percent. Statistics that are available
in Africa indicate that 24 percent of South Africans live alone and 15 percent of Kenyans are
also living alone. These statistics show that the traditional nuclear family system has diminished
in many societies worldwide which has led to more nations having increased number of persons
living alone in their homes.
Lately, more and more people are living alone and are facing the challenge of having to
cope with such situations. In most cases, loneliness arises as a result of being single with no
partner, living alone, or having tough time tolerating others. In such lonely situations, it
sometimes becomes very challenging to feel happy. What many people do not realize is that

2. there are lots of advantages to living alone. For example, in homes where a person lives alone,
there is no one to fight for the remote device and there is no one to judge you if you want to eat
in the middle of the night. However, the lonely feeling can appear challenging when there is no
one to welcome you home whenever you return from work or from a walk outside. The positive
thing is that there are ways that one can make the most out of living alone and experiencing
happiness.
Happiness is relative because some people can be very happy all
alone while others can be quite unhappy in the company of others. The
reality is that, happiness always starts with you as a person, and being
happy alone is possible, even if it does not seem that way at present.
The truth is that being in a relationship and being in the company
of others at most times is not the panacea to happiness. This is
because being alone is not a solution to the things that trouble
you and being with others or among many people does not
automatically lead to happiness. One thing is that, people,
including those who are popular, can feel lonely at some points
in their lives. This means it does not matter how many friends or
relatives you have, it is the closeness of your friendship or relationship with them that determines
whether you will feel lonely or not. This implies that people who are popular and may always
have a lot of people with them can be lonely because they may have no real friends among those
around them. This indicates that being alone is not the issue but how you feel when you are with
other people or when you are alone. You can be lonely while you are with a lot of people as well
as while you are alone.
One major thing about loneliness is that there is a good and a bad side of it. It is
important that you understand the way you can make use of yourself in the midst of people while
feeling alone as well as in a lonely place. This implies that being alone does not necessarily mean
that you are lonely and regardless of what your opinion is about being alone, it is actually a
healthy practice. It is an opportunity to get to know yourself better, improve your mental health,
and build a good relationship with yourself. You are therefore assured that there are ways that
loneliness can be turned into something positive and progressive in your life.

3. Loneliness
Loneliness is understood as a state of mind that is linked to human desire for contact with others
but not getting it at the moment of the desire. Loneliness is a state of mind because some people
can be alone but they will not feel lonely while others can have contact with people and still feel
lonely. For this reason, lonely conditions are often considered as involuntary separation,
rejection, or abandonment by other people.
In other situations, people tend to feel that there is no need to be alone, at most, for the
rest of their life. However, loneliness can dawn on you at certain moments without you calling
for it. One important fact is that living alone does not necessarily mean that you are lonely. The
feeling of loneliness arises when you take your lone life in a negative way.
Also, whenever loneliness is taken in a negative way, it knocks us down, breaks us from
within, and drains away our insides. In such a condition, it is only the sufferer who can describe
the pain of loneliness. Additionally, when loneliness comes in the course of our lives, many
challenges tend to follow. Some of these challenges include the feeling of insignificance, loss of
the taste of life, reduction in performance, and no work is done properly. Consequently, self-
confidence tends to decrease, the joys of life gradually dissipate, and mental problems set in and
grow bigger day by day. It is therefore necessary that you try to be mentally strong and enjoy
your lonely conditions without thinking that loneliness is a problem in life. This is because some
people love to spend moments with themselves while for others it is the most dreadful task to be
alone.
Types of Loneliness
Everyone wishes to be happy in life and most forms of happiness go with intimate bonding with
others, a sense of belonging, and being able to get and give support. However, there is a marked
difference between being alone and being lonely. Being alone feels peaceful, creative, and
restorative. On the other hand, being lonely feels draining, distracting, and upsetting. Even
though not everyone wants a romantic partner or would like to live with associates, yet the lack
of certain kinds of relationships for some people brings about loneliness. There are several types
of loneliness and the awareness of a particular type of loneliness that is experienced can make it
easier for finding ways of addressing them. Some types of loneliness are as follows:

4. i. New-situation loneliness.
This type of loneliness arises when you move to a new location, a new job, or a new school and
you do not know anyone there. This type of condition brings about loneliness for some time
before friends can be made for the lonely situation to disappear.
ii. I-am-different loneliness.
When you are at a place where there are many others but you feel that you are quite different
from the other people due to the way you try to carry yourself as an important person, it makes
you feel isolated and lonely. Your social status or your faith for example can make you feel so
important in the midst of others to the extent that this feeling can make you feel isolated from
others as they do not fit into your status or share in that faith and vice versa. When you feel very
different about something you hold so important about yourself in the midst of others and if you
find it hard to connect with them, it result in loneliness which is part of human condition.
iii. No-sweetheart loneliness.
This type of loneliness can arise when you do not have an intimate attachment with a romantic
partner even when a lot of family members and friends are around. Similar situations can arise
when you have a partner but you do not feel a deep connection to that person.
iv. No-animal loneliness.
Some people have a deep attachment to animals. When these types of people have animals in the
form of pets around them, it replaces the human relationships that they lack. Some people prefer

5. having dogs, birds, or cats with them and when these animals are missing, they feel lonely as
something that is very important is lacking in their lives.
v. No-time-for-me loneliness.
Sometimes you can have people who seem friendly enough to be around, but these people may
not want to get closer enough and move from being friendly to being actual friends. This can
occur when these people are so busy with their own lives or they have lots of friends already. So
at the time that a deeper connection is needed from them, their interests may not be in your
direction. This situation can also occur when existing friends have entered a new phase of life
and they no longer have time for the things that used to be done in previous times. Such things
that can keep good friends away and bring loneliness include working for longer hours and a
start of a family which changes the social connectedness.
vi. Untrustworthy-friends loneliness
In situations where there happen to be doubts about trustworthiness of existing friends, this type
of loneliness begin to arise. Doubting whether friends are truly well-intentioned, kind, and
helpful is the beginning of this type of loneliness in your life. An important element of friendship
is the ability to confide and trust, so if these conditions are missing, you may feel lonely even if
you can have fun with your friends.
vii. Quiet-presence loneliness
Sometimes, loneliness can be experienced when the presence of a roommate, a family member,
or a sweetheart is missing. When there is no one to hang on with in your social circle for a period
of time, it creates situations of this type of loneliness. This situation can occur when someone
who fixes a cup of coffee for you or reads on the sofa in the living room is no more there. This
type of loneliness is a major factor that brings despondency which needs to be addressed.
Causes of Loneliness
There are various factors that contribute to loneliness. These factors include situational variables
such as physical isolation, moving to a new location, divorce, and the death of a significant
person. Another factor that can contribute to loneliness is psychological disorder such as
depression. Depression can often cause you to withdraw from others which can lead to
loneliness. One important feature that is linked to the intensity of loneliness is the rate of

6. recurrence of the feeling of loneliness. Some people experience the feeling of loneliness
occasionally which makes it quite irrelevant with regards to their health. However, other people
suffer the emotional feeling of loneliness at most times which can be a major problem. In all of
these situations, there are inducing factors, triggering events, and attributions that can lead to the
experience of loneliness. Some of the causes include the following:
Personality Characteristics
Personality characteristics such as low self-esteem, self-confidence, and self-efficacy are
associated with inadequate use of active coping mechanisms which can contribute to loneliness.
People who lack confidence in themselves and have lower self-esteem often believe that they are
not worthy of the attention or affection of other people which usually leads them to isolation and
chronic loneliness.
Personality Traits
There are certain personality traits that challenge people to be either alone and enjoy it or seek
the company of others when they happen to be alone. Introverts, for example, are individuals
with low self-esteem and they exhibit withdrawal, antisocial, and delinquent behaviors. They are
people who are reflective and enjoy being alone or in the company of few people. They are less
likely to cultivate and seek social connections which usually contribute to isolation and
loneliness. On the other hand, some people hate every moment they have to spend at home being
alone and this prompts them to seek for ways to avoid such situations. This problem is more
common with extroverts. Extroverts are very social and they love to be surrounded by people so
when they happen to find themselves living alone, it becomes a difficult task for them.
Precipitating Events
Precipitating events like bereavement are considered as conditions that can lead to loneliness in
some people. These events bring about conditions of mismatch between the volume and quality
of the social relations that they need and those that they actually have. The intensity of this type
of loneliness usually differs from person to person. This can be understood as a function of the
emotional implication of relationships that the person had towards the deceased person. The loss,
combined with the rate at which they experience the emotional discomfort, are linked to the
onset of loneliness. Other precipitating events that contribute to loneliness are relocation to other
areas or communities and the departure of neighbors who were close friends.

7. Societal Values and Cultural Norms
The values that are held by people in particular societies make it either easier or harder for
people to participate in social activities and avoid loneliness. The way you consider yourself as a
member of a particular society and being part of it, is a contributing factor towards the formation
of your identity. This means your self-identity can have an impact on how much you participate
in social events. For instance, you can choose not to join some social activities that are aimed at
the youths or older people because you do not want to think of yourself as a youth or as an old
person. This implies that some social activities that are associated with age affect what people
expect of themselves and their place in society and this affect their participation. The lack of
participation of people in social events due to the culture or values that dominate can lead to
isolation and loneliness when this occurs quite often.
Childhood Experience
It is also maintained that a range of adverse childhood events such as conflict between parents,
long period of abuse, and economic hardships in the family may lead to people becoming less
resilient, more insecure, and more likely to be feeling lonely at most times in their adult lives.
Natural Tendencies
Existentialists like Moustakas (1961, 1972) point to the fact that humans are ultimately alone
because no one else can experience our thoughts and feelings and that separateness is an
essential condition of our existence. Moustakas emphasizes that there is a difference between
loneliness anxiety and true loneliness. Loneliness anxiety is a system of defense mechanism that
diverts people‟s attention from dealing with critical life issues and it rather inspires them
constantly to be in the company of others or pursue activities with other people. On the other
hand, true loneliness stems from the reality of being alone and single-handedly facing life‟s
ultimate experiences. From Moustakas‟ viewpoint, true loneliness can be a creative force that
can benefit individuals when it is positively handled.
Effects of Loneliness
The effects of loneliness are diverse. While some people are able to endure loneliness positively,
others are not able to handle them appropriately which tends to affect their lives in a more
significant way. Some of the effects of loneliness are as follows:

8. Mental Health Problems
Loneliness is not a mental health problem in itself even though it can lead to mental health
difficulties in some people. Also, loneliness is both a cause and contributor to depression and
whenever loneliness and depression occur together, there is a greater risk of an early death. This
type of mental health problem which occurs as a result of loneliness is most common in older
people. It is estimated that this health problem affects 22 percent of men and 28 percent of
women aged 65 years or over.
Anxiety
Loneliness is also linked to social anxiety. This is a common type of anxiety disorder where a
person feels fearful or anxious in some or all social circumstances. These social circumstances
include the meeting of new people or the exchanges that occur within everyday situations. An
example of this type of anxiety is timidity which is more than shyness. It often begins during
young adult life and it can lead to a long-lasting and devastating fear in social situations.
Sleeplessness
Loneliness is also associated with an increased risk of dementia or sleeplessness. This type of
sleeplessness usually results from neurological problems which are stress related.
Unhelpful Thinking Styles
Loneliness can bring about unhelpful thinking styles in some people. These styles include tragic
thoughts, black and white thoughts, and the reading of other people‟s minds. Tragic thought is
the tendency of blowing negative things out of proportion and the thinking of the worst of any
situation. This type of thinking error can be one of the most
harmful tendencies for people who experience
loneliness because they constantly interpret future
events in the worst possible light. These thoughts
usually undermine their confidence and significantly
de-motivate them from taking part in social activities
or relating with others.
Black and white thoughts occur
when people only see the extremes of a
situation. They never have a middle ground and this type of thinking can prevent them from

9. being flexible in life and open towards people‟s responses. The reading of other people‟s mind
occurs to those who experience chronic forms of loneliness. In this situation, these people
imagine that they know what other people are thinking. The reality is that one can never know
what is going on in other people‟s minds and the best that can be done is guessing. This type of
thinking error is central to the many difficulties that people encounter when they are in the
company of other people. In this circumstance, lonely people can imagine so many hurts and
insults upon themselves without a shred of evidence.
To this point, the identification of the effects of loneliness in your life can help you to
challenge yourself with more realistic and effective thoughts which can assist you to decrease the
emotional distress and self-defeating behaviors.
Things to Avoid When Feeling Lonely
 Refrain from the use of sleeping pills without a doctor‟s advice.
 Do not increase your dependence on the dictates of others.
 Do not compare yourself with the achievements of others.
 Abstain from smoking or the use of any intoxicants.
 Do not stay without doing anything in your room or house.
 Do not lie down in bed all day or make it a routine.

10.  If a problem is hovering around you, do not place the entire responsibility on the
shoulders of others or do not entirely blame others for it.
 Avoid talking about your ex-lover all the time as a result of separation-related incidents.
 Do not rush into making important decisions such as getting married, getting involved in
a new relationship, or quitting your job. Let circumstances and your thoughts guide you
and take some time to seek for guidance through reading a lot of materials about the issue
before you take some important decisions.
The Good Aspects of Loneliness
Loneliness can have some good aspects of it depending on how it is envisaged and appreciated as
part of life. Some of the good aspects of loneliness are:
Aligning oneself with pleasurable duties
Living alone is a way that you can master your activities and make rules for yourself. This can
range from creating a calm, quiet, or a noising surrounding, have an impromptu solo dance party
in your kitchen or living room, sleep for few extra hours during weekends, or get up early and do
some physical exercise. You can even leave your dirty dishes in the sink for some hours before
you attend to them or spend three unadulterated, uninterrupted hours cleaning them. This means
living alone is having the freedom to cultivate a home environment that sustains your soul.
Having time to think about your future life
When you are alone, it gives you the best opportunity to plan and think about yourself and the
things you would like to accomplish in life. The time that you spend being alone can be used for
gaining knowledge trough reading or studying, learning about new things, and building a better
future for yourself.
Becoming more self-reliant
When you are alone and not involved in any romantic relationship, it makes your self-confidence
to relatively increase. You realize that compliments from others do not matter so much in your
life and cannot have much effect on you. In such a lonely situation, you learn to realize your own
mental strength, intelligence, and astuteness. As a result of this, you become much more
confident, buoyant, self-assured, and mentally stronger than before.

11. Healing of yourself from mental anguish and past sorrows
When you are alone, it gives you time to deal with past pains, troubles, mistakes, and find ways
of correcting yourself. In some situations, it might be very difficult to see yourself not in a love
affair but when you are alone, you learn from past incidences and know how to spend the lonely
times. Even if it appears to be a little difficult from the onset, after a while, you will learn how to
have a great time with yourself.
Deciding on what you want to get next
When you are alone, you also have the time to think about what you want to get next in life. This
can be a new job, a new relationship, a new home, or a new career. This means whenever you
feel lonely, it is a great opportunity to make an understanding with yourself about what kind of
partner, job, career or home you want to get which will be of great benefit to you.
The bad aspect of loneliness
Harmful to health
Loneliness can be detrimental to a person‟s health. Studies have shown that when a person has
less contact with people, it is a possible cause of premature death and it is twice as dangerous as
gaining weight and equal to the smoking of more than 10 cigarettes a day.
Involvement of oneself in wrong relationship
In most circumstances, loneliness can lead people to take wrong steps or involve themselves in
wrong relationships. Finding a way to overcome loneliness can make people to indiscriminately
make friends with anyone. Loneliness can create some level of desperation for some people
which can lead to the making of wrong friends or enter into wrong relationships. This usually
occurs because they generally feel that having a friend is better than having no friends and being
lonely. And that is what brings about the danger of entering into wrong relationships.
Device addiction
Another negative aspect of loneliness is the addiction of people to the use of electronic devices
such as the computer or the phone. Since talking with others becomes unattainable when lonely,
people tend to socialize with others on Facebook and WhatsApp platforms. This makes them to
become addicted to such devices during lonely moments instead of engaging in other creative
ventures.

12. How to Manage Loneliness
There are various ways in which the feelings of loneliness with its associated negative thoughts
can be managed. Among the ways for the management of loneliness are the following:
Make time to reflect
Making time to reflect on personal triggers that lead to loneliness or what causes loneliness to
persist are important steps that begin the management of loneliness. This is a way of reflecting
on your lonely feelings and working out what might help to shift these feelings for other positive
ones.
Spend time outdoors
Spending regular time outdoors with or without other people can help to ease the feelings of
loneliness. Going outdoors such as stepping into a garden or the balcony, or even looking out of
a window to appreciate the surrounding, or whiling away time with the things that go on around
you can provide a sense of connection with nature or the outside world. This type of outdoor
experience or view can promote physical and mental wellbeing for lonely people, especially
those who are very old.
Engage in activities
Engagement in activities such as reading, listening to radio programs, or doing puzzle can
prevent you from battling with negative thoughts. Other activities that you can engage in include
gardening, arts and crafts, and singing. When you engage in creative pastimes or activities that
give you a sense of purpose can help manage loneliness and improve your wellbeing. Also,
activities that focus on your positive side and develop a sense of optimism can affect wellbeing
and can be practiced as a coping mechanism for loneliness. This includes the identification of the
things that bring pleasure in your current situation as well as thinking back to the past with a
focus on your good times. Additionally, a focus on the near future, including the making of plans
to achieve some feats can also help to manage lonely situations.

13. Talk to others
In some cases, talking about your
loneliness as well as other emotions
to other people can be difficult.
However, knowing that loneliness is
something everyone can experience
at certain times in life can help to
manage the feelings and make you
easier to talk about it with others.
When you know the circumstances that bring about loneliness, try to talk to a trusted person to
help you manage it. Talking with friends on the phone or visiting neighbors and chatting with
them is another initiative of connecting with others which can bring personal happiness and help
you avoid the lonely situations.
Personal Happiness
The state of being happy always comes from within. Those who have learnt how to keep
negative thoughts away and approach everyday life with optimism are able to stay happily at
most times. You have the power to make changes in your own behavior, surroundings, and
relationships that can help bring about happiness. This is because personal happiness is derived
from an accrued array of positive emotions such as joy, interests, and pride. It is related to self-
satisfaction, pleasure, and appreciation of the current situation or of personal achievements.
There are many different perceptions on what happiness is and how it can be achieved.
Some people associate happiness to the state of having enough money, watching a favorite
movie, being with a significant other, or enjoying their favorite food. In all these, happiness
cannot happen in one simple step or be achieved in a single day. More specifically, happiness is
a way of finding peace with yourself and loving who you are, finding peace with others, and
being able to enjoy whatever you are doing in life. In other words, happiness cannot be attained
if you do not have the ability to find peace with and love yourself.
One important aspect of human life is that there is the tendency of thinking more on bad
experiences than positive ones. This means you have to work a little harder to train your brain to

14. conquer negative thoughts when you are alone. One way of managing this type of condition is
not stopping the negative thoughts. Trying to stop these thoughts can make you to think more
about them. Instead, take a bold step to own your worries, acknowledge all negative cycles, and
spend little time on this aspect of your life and move on to other aspects. This will help to bring
some happy feelings to you.
Types of Personal Happiness
The pursuit of personal happiness is very common among humans and it tends to be reliable or
an unreliable goal in some situations. However, the experience of happiness can take many forms
and it can result from a range of behaviors and life circumstances. These range or types of
happiness include joy, excitement, gratitude, pride, contentment, and love.
Joy
Joy is a feeling of great pleasure and happiness. This feeling of joy arises when you lose yourself
in the present moment and appreciate what you have. This type of feeling can be brief. The
easiest way to attain this type of feeling is to engage in activities that bring
happiness.
Excitement
This is the state of feeling happy and having keen enthusiasm. It is a
situation that is marked by eagerness, anticipation, and general
arousal. It can be described as the positive feelings that
you attain from an activity. Excitement is not too
difficult to obtain and it is so easy to pursue. When you
revel in anticipation of something big that is coming up,
it can bring some feelings of excitement.
Gratitude
Gratitude is a conscious, positive emotion that you can feel or express when something of great
importance has been attained and there is the need to be thankful. It is a response towards
kindness, warmth, and other forms of generosity. An experience of gratitude is a state of being
grateful for something or to someone in your life. Research has proven that those who express
the feeling of gratitude on a regular basis tend to be happier and healthier than those who are less

15. prone to these feelings. When the act of gratitude is cultivated and expressed at most times, it
helps to ward off feelings of depression among other things.
Pride
In general situations, such feelings as haughtiness, self-righteousness, and overconfidence can be
considered as negative expression of oneself. However, the feelings of pride in your
accomplishments can be a form of gratitude that is turned inward and it is a great form of
happiness to indulge in. Taking pride in your work, your family, your home, yourself, and in
anything you put effort, care, and love into is a positive way of expressing inner happiness.
Contentment
Contentment means being happy with what you have. It is the feeling of calm joy or quiet
satisfaction when your needs are satisfied and you are in harmony with yourself and your
surroundings. Studies have revealed that those who are content with whatever they have are less
disappointed by life‟s drawbacks and they feel blessed for having what they have in their lives.
Love
True love is said to be extremely difficult to obtain, but in reality, love can be found all around
us. Family, friends, romantic partners, and even pets can all be sources of love, and focusing on
all of these relationships can greatly enrich our lives and make us happy.
How to be Happy When Lonely
Loneliness has been tagged as a negative feeling that is related to loss of something or someone
and disappointment. It is considered as an outcome of a process in which a person weighs up his
or her existing personal
relationships against his or
her own wishes and social
expectations with regards to
relationships. In situations
where the social network of
a person is too small or the
relationships are of
insufficient quality, the

16. person often feels lonely. People do not voluntarily seek for loneliness and it is felt as a social
pain.
However, existentialists see loneliness as something that can be appreciated positively or
something that one can find strength in, even though it takes some efforts to realize this situation.
Moreover, every encounter with loneliness makes people to go through different types of
confrontations with themselves. Over the years, existentialists encourage people to overcome
their fear of loneliness and learn to use loneliness positively.
Existentialists are those who share the concept that personal freedom, individual
responsibility, and deliberate choice are essential to the pursuit of self-discovery and the
determination of life‟s meaning. Theorists of existentialism like Clark Moustakas (1961) have a
positive view of loneliness. According to Moustakas, existential loneliness is inherent in human
existence, such that everyone can be identified as a solitary individual. People retreat from the
social world to create a self-identity and to live a genuine lonely life. This means, in life‟s most
intimate and important moments, a person is an individual and is always alone. In this regard,
loneliness can be considered as a creative force among people and it is appreciated and utilized
in positive ways by people who create music or inventions on their own. Although Moustakas
does not deny that loneliness can be painful, he rather sees it as a productive and a creative
condition.
The negative feeling of loneliness, on the other hand, can lead to a loss of confidence,
low self-esteem, and cause people to withdraw from others. This behavior can, in turn, set off a
downward trend of more negative thoughts and despair that can lead to extreme feelings of
loneliness. According to existentialists, the same process can be made to work in the reverse to
produce positive change in your life. By virtue of this, various psychological approaches are
designed to bring about changes in thoughts, feelings, and behaviors and thereby generate an
upward spiral of happiness out of loneliness. Some of these approaches that can make you happy
even when you are lonely are as follows:
Understand the difference between being lonely and being alone
The first stage to being happy when you are alone is the realization that there is a vast difference
between being lonely and being alone. Being lonely is the feeling that you get when you want to
connect with others such as a partner and there is no one available. On the other hand, being
alone is an empty or hollow feeling that you get when there is no one to connect with. Being

17. lonely calls for the introduction of more people and activities into your life or it is an inner desire
to get people into your life. Then, being alone is a wonderful opportunity to use this time to
explore your authentic self and build the life that you dream of. You can be alone without feeling
lonely when you appreciate the situation and explore various activities within your environment.
Get to know yourself
When loneliness sets into your life, one of the major things to be done is getting to know
yourself. In order to change the negative aspect of loneliness to something that is positive, it is
very important that you make use of the plenty of time that you have to explore what makes you
happy. The use of your unique strengths and applying them to something greater than yourself
such as making use of your carpentry skills to help fix a broken table or use your knitting skills
to fix a torn cloth are ways to improve on your happiness.
In lonely situations, make a plan to counter it. One of the things that can be done is
scheduling an activity like going for a walk along the streets. While these lonely moments are
undoubtedly hard, they also help us figure out who we are, and knowing very well who we are.
The making out of this knowledge about you while alone is key to being happy. In loneliness,
you can establish your own identity and also identify the things that are essentially a part of you
and shape you as a person. So whenever you become lonely, take stock of who you are through
the identification of your values, interests, temperament, life mission, and goals, as well as
strengths and skills. Again, the identification of what you value in life such as family security or
creativity is crucial to knowing who you are and turning your loneliness to a happy one.
Adopt a pet
The adoption of a pet is an essential way of overcoming loneliness. This is because pets help
humans to fulfill their natural need for touch and companionship, which also helps to manage
stress. Studies show that people with pets are healthier and live longer lives. Having a pet and
relating positively with it can help to lower your blood pressure. As a lonely individual, adopting
a pet can help give you a companion through your day-to-day life structure. This is because the
pet will draw your attention from the lonely situation to feed it, walk with it, and care for it on
different occasions. This can help you get out of your lonely condition to think about the needs
of your companion which is the pet. A pet like a dog that requires exercise can get you up and
moving at most times which can help improve on your own physical health in the process.

18. However, the right kind of pet such as a dog, cat, rabbit, or a bird needs to be selected according
to your lifestyle and interests.
Practice self-discipline
Living a lonely life can make you leave the care of your own self all day as there is no one
around to judge you. The danger of not caring and practicing self-discipline such as showering,
getting dressed, exercising, or eating well can quickly turn your situation into depression. It is
important that you discipline yourself by getting up and getting dressed each day even when
there is no plans of going out. It has been found in studies that people who make their bed and
carry out some chores in the home every day are often more productive, self-disciplined, and feel
better about themselves. There is also the need for every lonely person to control his or her vices.
For example, when you cannot buy a bottle of wine without drinking the entire stuff within a
very short period, then it is better you do not buy it or you will have to buy those in small bottles
to control you drinking habit.
Learn to cook for yourself
Try to make it a habit of getting hold of a cookbook or getting a recipe from a website so you can
prepare delicious, charming meals for yourself. Plan your meals at the beginning of the week to
make your shopping easier. Taking time to prepare your own food will help you make yourself
busy and happy while you are alone.
Decorate your home to your taste
When you are living alone and there is no one, it is easy to lose interest in tidying up the home.
You might find yourself with a pile of unwashed clothes or dishes if you are not careful. Even if
you do not have anyone popping into your house for companionship, it is in your best interest to
clean the house at least once per week. Living in a disorganized house can make you feel
stressful any time you walk in. It is necessary to keep a clean home because such a clean place
can make you feel organized and happy. This is because your home or environment has a direct
influence on your wellbeing during your lonely moments. It is therefore important to allocate
some time in making the home a place you truly enjoy and feel comfortable with. By virtue of
this, you can change the color of home, the curtains, the furniture, and few other things from
time to time. Do not forget to change any other areas that are outside the home to your taste. This
can be done through the arrangement of flowers in pots on a small courtyard so that the outside
can feel special to you.

19. Follow your passions
Being alone gives you the greatest opportunity to explore the things that you love. This can take
the form of spending time online to explore genres, music, and bands that you have not listened
to before. The exploration of these passions will help you fill the empty space in your life with
the things that bring you happiness.
Create something of value
The best way to feel happy alone is to spend your time creating something that brings you joy.
You can go to the park and paint a landscape to hang on your wall or engage in a do-it-yourself
(DIY) activity in the house. If you are lacking the inspiration to engage in creative activities then
pack up your phone and go for a field-trip at a park, to a coffee shop, or to the beach. A simple
change of environment can do wonders for your productivity and make you a happy individual.
Recognize that being alone is not unusual
It is wrong to think that loneliness is unusual or weird and being alone is abnormal. In reality,
those who can be alone for periods often possess excellent inner confidence and serenity. From
this perspective, loneliness can
be considered as not a handicap
but it can be seen as a mark of
honor. Even those who are in
relationships and live with their
partners do enjoy times that they
happen to be alone. There are
times that they desire to be
alone so they can do their own
things. By virtue of this, we do
not have to waste much of our
time in maintaining the negative mindset that having a partner or being in a relationship is better
than being alone. This means each and every person desires to be alone at some points in their
lives so have the understanding that living in loneliness is not anything unusual or weird.
Exercise more often
Studies have shown that engaging in regular exercise eases loneliness and boosts the mood of a

20. person. This is because exercise makes us physically fit and helps to release chemicals in the
brain that make you feel positive and happy. This type of exercise can start with easy activities
like running, walking, biking, or working out in a gym.
Watch out for noisy thoughts
When lonely moments arise, your thoughts can be your best friend or worst enemy. A negative
thought can get out of control until you have a nasty repetition of some noise in your brain.
When such thoughts like “I feel so lonely right now,” lingers in your mind when you are lonely,
it is easy to keep that thought process going in the wrong direction until other thoughts like, “I
will always be alone,” or “no one will ever love me,” will sneak into you. For this reason, you
have to be aware of what you think about and try to avoid negative thoughts before they grow
into something that will be much harder to control. If you find yourself in a stressful mood, do
something that can relax you such as taking a hot bath, perform some gentle exercises, go outside
and feed your eyes with things in the surrounding, or play soothing music.
Spend time doing the things you love
Loneliness can give you enough time to figure out who you really are as a person. After gaining
this realization, the next step is to figure out what makes you happy. Then take time to challenge
yourself with different activities or with something new. After fulfilling the activity, try to
reward yourself for the effort you put into doing the things that you love. This can be in the form
of visiting coffee shops or going to stores and happily spending time with shopping. Sometimes
being alone is a great opportunity to develop new joys and experiences that do not need another
person to be involved in fulfilling your happiness.
Limit your time on social media
When loneliness becomes overwhelming and there is nothing to fall on or undertake, you can get
onto the social media to connect with others. However, you will have to log out if it gives you
some negative feelings. For lonely people, social media is a great way to meet and interact with
others but it also has a negative side. For example, when you realize that you are using it to
compare yourself to others, or if you feel bad about yourself or even lonelier after using social
media, it will be better to log out and stop using it. On the other hand, you can focus on
meaningful conversations and positive interactions when you are on the social media.

21. Go for a walk
A change of scenery can sometimes boost your mood so when loneliness tend to be
overwhelming, try to go for a walk in order that you can shift your perspective. Just a few
minutes outdoors can help you get your mind off
negative issues and refresh your mind on other
things in the environment. Anytime that negative
thoughts start to creep into your mind when you
are lonely, try to go for a walk and focus on
things in the surroundings. This will turn your
mood on and make you happy with the things in
the environment.
Treat yourself like you would treat a friend
Some lonely situations can set different sentiments into motion. In this situation, you need to
speak to yourself with kind and compassionate words like the way you will speak to a friend who
may find himself or herself in a similar situation. Try to practice this kind of positive self-talk
because it is worth soothing yourself like the way you will do to a friend. When you feel very
lonely, try to tell yourself that „People love spending time with me, but at this time, they are so
busy that they cannot make time to be with me and that is normal.‟ This is a completely natural
and acceptable way to treat and shore yourself up for happiness.
Explore mindfulness techniques
Engaging in mindfulness is another method for easing yourself with loneliness. Engaging in
meditation or breathing exercises for example can help you feel calm and focused. Mindfulness
is state of being in the here-and-now, or living in the present moment and appreciating it without
concentrating too much in the past or worrying about the future. Studies have shown that
engaging in these types of mindfulness techniques can help to reduce feelings of loneliness and
anxiety and bring about happiness.
Value others’ opinions, but value your own more
On many occasions, do not try to ask for advice unless you truly need it. Instead, ask yourself for
advice. If you know the answer to the problem that you have, do not worry yourself in asking for
other people‟s opinions. The more time you spend asking yourself for advice, the less you start to

22. need input from others. If possible, search for answers to nagging problems from reading
materials on the Internet. This is because you can have time to analyze and seep the good ideas
from the bad when you surf through a whole lot of materials online. The solutions that you get
from this exercise can serve you better and bring happiness in a more deserving manner. This
can make you a problem-solver, a stronger and more confident person, and capable of taking on
challenges that you would not have felt capable of before. These activities can bring fulfillment
and a sense of happiness to your life.
Learn to be an observer
Another way of truly enjoying
being alone, is to learn to look at
ordinary situations in new and
unfamiliar ways. For example,
you can choose to go to the park
and watch people play with their
children or their dogs. Go to the
supermarket and watch how
people shop for their groceries.
For any place that you choose to
go, try to make an effort to understand the way other people behave in public. Learning how
other people behave of operate when they think no one is watching them will make you feel
more connected to them and bring some level of happiness into your heart as you watch them
behave in those ways.
Spend some time with nature
Having a walk in the field and spending some time with nature is one of the best ways to stay
happy. The spending of time with
nature helps to improve
symptoms of depression and
lower blood pressure. Watching
the birds fly and admiring their
elaborate flight formation are

23. good ways of appreciating nature and filling your heart with good tidings. Other things that can
amuse you and make you naturally happy with nature is listening to dogs bark at each other in
the neighborhood, the whizzing of the breeze, the chirping of the birds, and wondering what all
these sounds mean is a way of enjoying nature and feeling happy.
Listen to Music
Loneliness can be soothed with various activities including the listening to music of your choice.
This is because music causes the brain to release chemicals such as dopamine that can make you
feel good. Therefore, anytime you are feeling lonely, sad, stressed, or depressed, you can
increase your feelings of happiness by listening to your favorite songs.
Conclusion
Loneliness is a horrible situation if it is not understood as an experience that can be positively
handled. Each and every one has to embrace the moments that they find themselves alone and
make the most out of it by engaging in self-reflection and developing the confidence that you
deserve. It is absolutely possible to be happy and live a full life without having someone next to
you at all times. Follow the tips laid out in this article to put yourself on a positive path towards
living your best life. Furthermore, any time that you are alone, maintain a routine that you enjoy,
make an effort to stay connected to loved ones, and find a hobby that feels fulfilling to
undertake. Being happy alone is about making consistent efforts towards self-improvement and
feeling empowered to be able to trust your own decisions. Finally, read and learn something new
every day. This can be done through joining millions of others on the Internet and starting your
day with the latest free informative news and materials that can make your life a happy one.
Sources:
Cacioppo, S., et al. (2015). Loneliness: Clinical import and interventions. Perspectives on
psychological science. A Journal of the Association for Psychological Science, 10(2),
238-249.
Moustakas, C. (1961). The sense of self. Journal of Humanistic Psychology, 1(1), 20-34.
Qualter, P., Vanhalst, J., Harris, R., et al. (2015). Loneliness across the life span. Perspectives on
Psychological Sciences, 10(2): 250‐264.
Zhao, L., Zhang, X., & Ran, G. (2017). Positive coping style as a mediator between older adults‟
self-esteem and loneliness. Social Behavior and Personality: An International Journal,
45(10), 1619-1628.

24. You can also click here for my other articles
https://www.slideshare.net/KofiChiper/depression-and-how-you-can-manage-itpdf