TESTING TESTING 1 2 3

1. What does Pride in the LBGTQIA+ community mean to me?
A Bare Stage. Maybe a microphone.
The Performer enters. Don’t get fucky and fun
with the tech. Just let it breathe.
PERFORMER:
Bi
Bi bi bi.
A la Boy bands, but quietly
Bye bye bye.
b-b-b-b-bi
Announcer voice
Buy Stocks, Sock and Smocks, all you need for money walking and art!
Eventually
They are ready
Bi
By me.
Hi, I’m bi. I’m a guy and this has made me want to die. Some night’s I’d lie and sigh and cry and ask why?
It made me shy. And made me lie. But now, I try. Try to get by being bi and ali-
Ve.
Fry.
Sorry, I’m stuck on rhyme. It’s easier than emotional expression.
I was about ten when I realized I liked girls. I won’t say names or get un-necessarily specific, that feels
tactless. But it happened. Suddenly girls were interesting and pretty in ways I had never considered
them.
I would have friends I would want to kiss. In the chaste way ten-year olds understand what sex is,
y’know? Like, now we all get the nasty stuff that makes it awesome, kinda like the first time you eat pork
belly or something? Like “I ate what? Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeew.
…
More please”

2. But yeah so I was suddenly into girls. And about a year after that, when I had wanted to kiss three
different girls I knew, I suddenly felt the same thing for a guy. Which wigged me out. Massive eleven
year old breakdown time. But quiet. Cause I suck at lying and if anyone asked me, well, eventually the
truth would come out. And so would I.
I did a lot of rationalizing.
“Everyone has these thoughts”
“I’m curious.”
“It was a clinical interest. Like when you get electrocuted by a light switch and you keep flipping it and
getting shocked so you can confirm there’s an issue.”
I had an interest in engineering growing up. Very masculine. Very traditional. Very Catholic. The only
time I didn’t want to engineer was because I wanted to be a priest.
Priest’s don’t have those thoughts.
Well…
Shouldn’t have those thoughts.
So I try to push them down.
And sometime I cry.
And sometimes I try to die.
And every day I would Lie.
And for
Ten years.
Day upon day upon day upon day upon day upon day upon day upon day upon day upon day upon day
upon day upon day upon day upon day upon day upon day upon day upon day upon day upon
day upon day upon day upon day upon day upon day upon day upon day upon day upon day
upon day upon day upon day upon day upon day upon day upon day upon day upon day upon
day upon day upon day upon day upon day upon day upon day upon day upon day upon day
upon day upon day upon day upon day upon day upon day upon day upon day upon day upon
day.
Every single day.
There was no Pride.
And I would think this is normal and right and true. Suppress and move forward. I can be honest when
I’m dead.
Then, about 90 percent of the way there, my world blows up.
I’m bi.

3. Polar.
My brain is broke. I don’t think how people think I think how maniacs and depressives and the detritus
of society do.
Which explains why I’m standing on a fucking stage instead of in engineering right now.
I digress. Often.
Brain is broke. But I got the engineering spirit. And when something is broke. Ya fix it.
So I start asking folk how do you be normal?
Schedule
Exercise
Do well to others
Do well to the world
Do well to you.
Don’t lie.
Let feelings out.
Live. Don’t survive.
Take pride. In you. In what you are and what you can be.
…
…
…
I am bi.
Sexual.
Polar.
My brain is a mess, but nowadays less and less. Why I am bi is anyone’s guess. But it’s something I have
to confess. If I don’t I will repress and then lie, and cry, and die, by my hand or some other guy
and I
I
I don’t want that. I want pride.
I can’t die.
I won’t be content to survive.
I will live, fully. I will love fully. I will be full.

4. I’m a guy. I like girls. And guys.
Now…
Goodbye.