1. 20 • MAY 2016
The housewife
Doting wife and mother of three
ANNA LUZ DE LÉON believes
stay-at-home mums can be as
empowered as any other woman.
If they ever made (yet another) remake of The
Stepford Wives in Berlin, De Léon would be the
perfect casting choice. While her husband’s
out working as a digital consultant, she’s baking
cakes and muffins, taking her 13- and seven-year-
old daughters and nine-year-old son on excur-
sions to Fleesensee, or spreading out blankets on
the hardwood floor of her Mitte flat for an in-
door picnic. And blogging and Instagramming it
all, to the tune of over 7000 followers. As “Ber-
linMitteMom”, she posts pictures, recipes and
everyday observations while proudly trumpeting
the stay-at-home lifestyle. “No one pressured me
into this. And yes, I am still a feminist.”
When De Léon discovered she was unexpect-
edly pregnant at 28, just before she finished her
dual diploma in art history and business studies
in Bonn, she suddenly found herself sidelined.
“I was off the mailing list for our project, and I
was left out of meetings.” Shortly after she gave
birth, her husband was offered a job in Berlin.
“After that experience, I was at a bit of a loss and
I decided to stay at home for a bit.” Soon ‘a bit’
turned into a few years. De Léon is aware that
she’s in a privileged position. “If money is tight,
there is nothing you can do – many mothers have
to work. I was lucky.”
De Léon, who kept her Salvadorian father’s
name when she married, says she and her
husband make big life decisions together and,
though very different, her job is just as impor-
tant as his. However, some people have a hard
time reconciling this traditional family picture
with today’s idea of feminism. Even her own
mother had reservations. “My grandmother was
a very smart woman who ended up in a situation
where she was forced to stay at home. So she
taught her daughters to get as much education
and independence as possible. Likewise, my
mother always tried to persuade me to go for a
PhD and have a career. She had trouble wrap-
ping her head around the fact that I was happy
being a stay-at-home mum.”
Having a blog means getting judged by
strangers as well. “I get comments like: ‘So
you’re done?’ or people calling me a Hausmüt-
terchen, dependent on my husband with no other
interests. As if becoming a mother and staying
at home means you stop living. I think it’s the
opposite. With three kids there is a lot of work
and responsibility.”
Make that four kids, including the blog. Over
the years, De Léon has been able to monetise
the BerlinMitteMom brand, earning sponsor-
ship from companies like Rossmann, while also
using it to engage in feminist debates. “A fellow
blogger complained about female nudity on
billboards on the way to her children’s school.
I agreed – you see way fewer placards of men
being objectified like that; try explaining that to
your daughter. But of course, the internet com-
pletely lost it. Most people basically told her to
shut up and stop complaining.” Her outlook on
feminism influences the way she raises her kids,
too. “I want them to question these things, that
women have to be that and boys have to be this.
I don’t want them to judge someone’s worth
based on their gender.”
Or, for that matter, whether or not they have
kids. “If women are supposed to be quiet, then
mothers are supposed to be invisible. Look at
how people talk about Prenzlauer Berg ‘Latte
Macchiato Mamas’. When they’re out with their
pram or letting the kids play around, they get
treated like an inconvenience at best. And I
feel like this is worse in Berlin. When we went
The unlikely feminists
Can you cover your head, stay home with the kids, sell your
body to men... and still proudly champion women’s rights?
These three Berliners can and do.
CASE STUDIES
“If women are supposed
to be quiet, mothers are
supposed to be invisible.”
20-22 Unlikely Feminists 149.indd 20 25/04/16 19:10

2. 21
on vacation in California, people were much
more understanding of a big family taking up
some space.”
All in all, De Léon is glad she chose to stay at
home, but also grateful for her online outlet to
the outside world. Her Mutti-Blog has opened
up opportunities as a social media advisor and
has connected her to many other mothers – and
some fathers – who eagerly read her tips, advice
and encouragement that whatever lifestyle you
choose, you’re not setting back equality by a few
decades. JANINE HEIM
The hijab seller
ISMAHAN ATILGAN is a modern
Muslim businesswoman... who
makes a living off of covering
women’s heads.
Muted but floral is not how you’d usually
describe a person. But that's how you might
describe Ismahan Atilgan's hijab, in this case a
Turkish-styled wrap – peach, lightweight and
available on TrendyCovered.com, the company
she started a year and a half ago. “I chose this
one today; I thought it would match my outfit.”
Casually clad in woollen over-vest and dark
skinny trousers, with gold jewellery, feminine
eyeliner and lightly blushed cheeks, “Issi” has
agreed to meet us at the Einstein Café near
Nordbahnhof to discuss both her online Muslim
fashion business and her take on feminism. She’s
accompanied by her husband, Aytan, who orders
cappuccinos for the both of them upon arrival.
“When it comes to hijabs, variety is impor-
tant,” Aytan Atilgan chimes in. He’s not just
Ismahan’s husband; he’s her business partner. As
a matter of fact, he owns the company. “We have
a wide choice from Arabian to Turkish styles and
even long tunics, all easily searchable for women.
The site is professional and our fabrics are high-
quality, luxurious items!” He doesn’t need a hijab,
of course. His wife, on the other hand, only
shows her face, hands and feet. Yet she's adamant
that no matter what Westerners might think,
clothing herself modestly and covering her head,
“a must for a practising Muslima,” is ultimately
a woman’s choice. And yes, Issi insists she’s a
“modern Muslim businesswoman and a feminist.”
Doesn't she mind that their company is
registered under her husband’s name; that Mr.
Atilgan is the one ordering her drink, the one who
answered our email to her – who takes care of all
“important logistics and business” correspond-
ence, in fact – and drove her to our meeting? “No,
I don't mind those things. Aytan’s my husband;
we are partners. The company is equally mine and
everything is done 50-50,” Ismahan says, point-
ing out that as a successful business development
manager for UPS for seven years, her husband had
the right experience to run the company. “My own
expertise is in e-marketing. After many years
working for other people's start-ups, I thought,
why not have my own business? The idea came
because I like hijab fashion but I can’t just buy
one at H&M. This way it’ll be easier, I thought.”
But what about making money off of cover-
ing female bodies – a practice widely associated
with women's submission to men, enforced un-
der male rule for centuries and still in place in
many Muslim countries the world over? “What
the world sees and is scared by… those aren’t
real Muslims,” says Ismahan. “Our religion does
not condone gender oppression or violence.
The correct reading of the Quran is that men
and women have their differences, but we are
all equal. We believe we’re meant to comple-
ment one another.”
She concurs the Western world might not see
things that way. “Western feminist idealists tell
me I cannot be a feminist. They exclude Muslim
women from their idea of what freedom is. This
is unfair.” With a bachelor’s degree in business
and experience in Berlin’s original start-up scene,
she explains: “I am a feminist for my hard work:
my education, my achievements in my career,
my beliefs in gender equality and my personal-
ity. It has nothing do with my religion. Religion
shouldn’t shape all your personal beliefs in a
modern world. It's more like a GPS – helping to
keep you on the right course!”
“Berlin has yet to fully accept the hijab,” she
concludes. With 500,000 Turkish Muslims, the
city is a huge potential market for the Atilgans,
especially considering Muslim fashion is still
absent from most German retailers. “Muslim
women like fashion, like any other women.
Why shouldn’t we be offered the same options?”
The pair does not sell more restrictive veils like
niqabs or burqas, but with 2016 claiming news
that designer label Dolce & Gabbana is now of-
fering hijabs and abayas and Marks & Spencer has
launched its first burqini, celebrating mainstream
integration is the plan. Pro-personal choice in
all areas, Issi hits the nail on the head in asking,
“Does wearing a hijab make me a feminist? No. It
makes me a Muslim. Can a woman in a hijab be a
feminist? Yes, definitely.” SHIROMI BEDESSEE
▼
MARIARUNARSDOTTIR
MARIARUNARSDOTTIR
“Does wearing a hijab
make me a feminist?
No. It makes me a
Muslim. Can a woman
in a hijab be a feminist?
Yes, definitely.”
20-22 Unlikely Feminists 149.indd 21 25/04/16 19:11