This document discusses interpersonal skills related to asserting oneself and influencing others. It defines assertive, non-assertive, and aggressive behaviors. It also outlines content, non-verbal, and social interaction skills related to effective assertion, such as tone of voice, body language, and compromise. The document also discusses influencing others from a political perspective, noting that organizations are not always harmonious and decisions can be self-interested. It provides tips for developing competence, assessing dependence and minimizing dependence to increase one's ability to influence others.

1. Interpersonal Skill
Asserting and Influencing
Hazel Arya Widikdo
4520210073

2. Learning objectives
After reading this chapter you will:
• Be able to distinguish between assertive, non-assertive and aggressive
behaviour.
• Understand why some people do not assert themselves.
• Recognise the characteristics of effective assertion messages in terms of content.
• Recognise the characteristics of effective assertion messages in terms of non-
verbal behaviours.
• Recognise the characteristics of effective assertion messages in terms of social
interaction skills such as escalation, persistence and the manage-ment of defensive
reactions.
• Be aware of the risks associated with asserting.
• Understand what you can do to improve your ability to assert yourself and
influence others.
• Know how to assess your power and ability to influence others in dif-ferent
situations.
• Identify the steps you can take to minimise your dependence on others and limit
their ability to influence you.
• Identify the steps you can take to increase others’ dependence on you and
increase your power to influence their behaviour.

3. Influencing others
Two approaches to influencing are examined.
• The first focuses on assertiveness, and examines those behaviours thathelp
individuals stand up for their rights and communicate importantmessages to
others.
• The second adopts a more macro perspective, and considers influencing as a
political process.

4. The nature of assertiveness
The focus of attention here will be the conflict (or negative) assertion skills
which include:
• Expressing unpopular or different opinions: ‘I disagree with Jim’s pro- posal
that we should settle the pay claim at 8 per cent. I think we should hold out
for a better deal.’
• Requesting behaviour changes: ‘I feel that I am being kept in the dark when
you don’t keep me informed about customer complaints. From now on I would
like you to provide me with a daily report.’
• Refusing requests: ‘No, I will not change the date of your appraisal
interview.’

5. Assertion skills
The skills of asserting can be grouped under three headings:
1 Content skills – what the assertor says.
2 Non-verbal skills – how the assertor looks and sounds.
3 Social interaction skills – the way the assertor behaves in the process of the
interaction including escalating, persistence and the management of defensive
reactions.

6. Content skills
A review of the literature led Rakos (1997) to suggest a number of ways in which
standard assertive messages can be elaborated and made more acceptable without
undermining their potency. They include:
• Offering a non-defensive, honest explanation of the need to assert one-self: ‘I
cannot change the date of your appraisal interview because I have to visit the
factory in Germany next week.’
• Offering an empathic statement which recognises the effects on other parties: ‘I
cannot change the date of your appraisal interview. I know you will be
disappointed because you have been invited to attend the project review meeting.’
• Offering a short apology for the consequences: ‘I cannot change the date of your
appraisal interview. I’m sorry because I know it will mean that you will have to
miss the project review meeting.’
• Attempting to identify a mutually acceptable compromise: ‘I cannot change the
date or time of your appraisal interview, but would you like me to ask Graham if
he could start the project review meeting in the morning?’
• Praising or offering another positive comment directed towards the other person:
‘Graham told me that he had invited you to the project review meeting because of
the contribution you made towards getting the project back on schedule. I’m sorry I
cannot change the date of your appraisal interview.’

7. Non-verbal skills
Rakos (1997) summarises some of the main results of research on the
paralinguistic components of assertive communication. Findings indicate that:
• Assertive people speak louder than non-assertive people but not as loud as
aggressive people. Rakos refers to a study by Rose and Tryon which suggests that
non-assertive people speak at a level of 68dB, assertive at 76dB and aggressive at
84dB.
• Laypeople, when asked to judge whether others are assertive, point to the
importance of inflection as well as volume. While the research evidence presents a
fairly complex picture on this, there does seem to be agreement that intermediate
levels of inflection are associated with greater impact. Inflection can be used to
direct the listener’s attention to important parts of the assertive communication.
• Firmness of delivery is another paralinguistic characteristic associated with
assertiveness. Although the research evidence suggests that both assertive and
non-assertive individuals can exhibit voice firmness, it appears that the absence of
firmness can detract from the impact of an assertion.

8. Influencing as a political process
• Most of us do not work alone. We are members of complex organisations.
Many people working in organisations are less influential than they could be
because they do not fully understand the nature of organisational life. One
widely held assumption is that organisations are well-integrated entities
within which everybody works harmoniously together in order to achieve a
set of shared goals. People who support this view assume that decisions are
made logically and rationally, and that organisational members select the
alternatives that maximise the achievement of these shared goals. Little
attention seems to be given to self-interest and to the competing personal
goals of organisational members.

9. Developing the capacity to satisfy
others’ needs
First we need to look to ourselves. We need to ensure that we are
profes-sionally competent. Others may view people who are incompetent or
possess obsolete skills as irrelevant because they have little to offer. Such
people are unlikely to be able to exercise much influence. To develop and
maintain a power base we need to invest time and effort in maintaining
existing and/or developing new areas of professional competence.

10. Assessing others’ dependence
We will also benefit from taking stock of the information and
resources we provide to others. We need to know how important these are to
the achieve-ment of their goals, and we need to assess how readily they can
obtain them from alternative sources. This appraisal will provide some
indication of how dependent others are on us. This is vital information. As
Emerson (1962) so clearly stated, power is inherent in any relationship in
which one person Independent upon another.

11. Assessing own dependence
In order to acquire and exercise power it is not sufficient for us to
ensure that we are competent, have a good reputation and that others are
aware of the extent to which they are dependent upon us. We also need to pay
attention to our dependence upon others and identify the ‘significant others’
on whom we are dependent. These ‘significant others’ are important because
they can help or hinder the achievement of our goals.

12. Minimising own dependence
We can reduce our dependence on others by searching for alternative
sources of required resources, thus minimising our reliance on any one
individual or unit. We can also challenge established working agreements
where we sus-pect that others are exercising power over us based on
dependency relationships which may have prevailed in the past, but which no
longer reflect the current situation. As available resources, market conditions
or any number of similar factors change, so does the nature of dependency
rela-tionships and therefore the distribution of power.

13. Negotiating advantageous
agreements
People who are able to relate to others in ways that enable them to achieve
their goals are less likely to feel that the system gets in their way and frus-
trates their attempts to exercise influence. They are more likely to:
• have a clear idea of what they want to achieve;
• believe in their own ability to manage events and get things done;
• be clear about how best to invest their time and energy;
• possess a well-developed set of assertion and political skills.

14. Improving our ability to influence
others
People are often reluctant to assert themselves because they assume
that they have a weak power base. Sometimes this may not be the case. They
may be unaware of their potential ability to influence because they have never
attempted to consciously assess how dependent they are on others and
compare this with the extent to which these others are dependent on them.
Thinking about relationships in terms of relative dependencies can point to
ways in which the balance of power may be changed in your favour, and can
radically change expectations about the probable outcome of any attempt to
assert your rights and influence others.