Brett Waterhouse gave his maiden parliamentary speech focusing on key issues like lack of local jobs, poor schools, and traditional values, but used cynical and scare-mongering language. He cherry-picked stats to enforce his points and blamed the opposition. His economic plans focused on short-term thinking and selling off long-term national wealth and stability.

1. BRETT WATERHOUSE
Maiden Parliamentary Speech

2. KEY ISSUES

3. (i.e. the issues that translate directly
into the popular vote)

4. (a.k.a being a minority is an
affliction)

5. LACK OF
LOCAL JOBS

6. (cynically (i.e. effectively) include
cherry-picked stats to enforce
point)

7. “local politician accidentally tells
truth, blames opposition”

8. POOR
SCHOOLS

9. (insert dire, scare-mongering
warning about our nation’s children
we don’t actually give a shit about)

10. TRADITIONAL
VALUES!

11. (a.k.a. profit from growing racial
tension with just enough plausible
deniability to get away with it)

12. IMPROVE THE
ECONOMY

13. (a.k.a. short-term thinking)

14. (a.k.a. sell off our nation’s long-term
wealth and stability and let the next
guy worry about it)

15. (a.k.a. the global warming guide to
politics)

16. (brain intentionally left blank)