A closer look at our thinking reveals faulty beliefs and irrational thoughts keeping us from our success. Learn to spot and combat the 6 most common thinking errors and develop a new clarity of thought.
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+44 (0) 7976 751 095 dan@danbeverly.com http://danbeverly.com
The Faulty Thinking
Hampering Your Success November 2015
A closer look at our thinking reveals faulty beliefs and irrational thoughts keeping us from our success.
Learn to spot and combat the 6 most common thinking errors and develop a new clarity of thought.
"… for there is nothing either good or bad,
but thinking makes it so."
— Hamlet, Act 2, Scene 2.
Most of us consider ourselves to be rational, intelligent people.
But take a closer look at our thinking and the reality is often far
from that. In actuality, we spend a great deal of our time
operating under all sorts of beliefs and with all kinds of thoughts
that, objectively, we would otherwise consider irrational and
distorted.
This has a huge consequence for our behaviours - and so the
results we get. Because whilst we commonly talk about external
events causing emotions ("she made me angry"), it's the thoughts
we have and the beliefs we hold about those events that
determine how we feel.
The good news is that shifting the thinking (often just a case of
shifting the language) will create a shift in the feelings. The key is
to become aware of the automatic negative thoughts that are
systematically distorting our reality and getting in our way.
So here are the 6 most common thinking errors that I observe in
my coaching practice. And 6 ways you might untwist your own
faulty thinking and regain some control over the results you're
creating.
1. All-or-Nothing Thinking
"If I don't do this perfectly, it'll be a complete failure."
Often seen in perfectionists, things are black-or-white, perfect or
failure, with no middle ground. Unrealistic expectations, with no
allowance for the complexities and imperfections of most
situations leads to missed (rejected) opportunities.
What's needed is to explore the "grey" and ask: do I really need
to expect 110% to achieve this objective?
2. Magnification and
Minimisation Thinking
"It was all my fault." and "It was nothing really."
Taking-on a disproportionate degree of blame on oneself
(magnification) or discrediting ones achievements (minimisation)
reduces self-efficacy (self-belief in our ability to succeed in
certain situations). And that then negatively impacts future goal-
setting.
What's needed here is a sense of proportion.
3. Personalisation
"They obviously just had a problem with me,."
Personalisation is not just about feeling personally and overly-
responsible, but also about perceiving events as a direct attack
on us as a person. This limits any future recourse: no matter
what we do, we can't change who we are.
What's needed here is de-personalisation: this is a reaction to
our behaviours, not our person.
4. Labelling
"I'm a failure."
Labelling is when we attach a meaning to a mistake and
transform it into an identity statement. Instead of describing an
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error in its specific context, we make a global judgement - and so
write-off future opportunities.
Here, we need to see our behaviours as fleeting and our person
as enduring.
5. Over-generalisation
"This always happens to me."
Over-generalisation is about drawing a general conclusion based
on an isolated incidents which we've decided is part of a never-
ending pattern of defeat.
Challenge the problem-words like "always" and "never" to
uncover the exceptions to our internal rule.
6. Emotional Reasoning
"I feel worthless, therefore I must be worthless."
This faulty thinking leads us to believe that what we feel must
automatically be true. If we feel worthless, undeserving or stupid,
we must be worthless, undeserving or stupid.
Here, we need to notice and separate the feeling and the
inferred belief.
6 ways to untwist your thinking
My favoured way to untwist the thinking is to come-up a level
and "think about the thinking" - rather than more thinking
directly about the issue. So ask yourself: what do I notice about
my thinking? To help, try these techniques:
1. Talk to yourself as a friend. You would rarely talk to a
friend or co-worker in the same harsh tones you regularly
reserve for yourself. Talk to yourself in the same
compassionate way you would talk to another.
2. Look at the evidence. Contest your assumptions and
examine the hard evidence - if there is any! Look also for
evidence to the contrary (the positive actuals to your
negative imaginings).
3. Identify the distortion. Write-down your problematic
thoughts. This will make it easier to spot the twisted
thinking at work - and help think about the problem in a
more positive and realistic light.
4. Look for the learning. Instead of all-or-nothing extremes,
give yourself a score out of 10 and acknowledge what you
did do. Then think about what you've learnt that will make
that 10/10 for next time.
5. Get outside opinion. Recruit some help in objectifying
your own analysis by asking someone else their opinion. Is
your belief realistic, widespread or commonly-held?
Perhaps not.
6. Soften your language. Substitute any emotionally-
charged language for softer alternatives. "I shouldn't have
…" becomes "It would have been better if …" Also define
your terms: what labels are you giving yourself?
Thinking about the thinking
With practice, we can learn to catch our own faulty thinking and
engineer more constructive perspectives. Do it enough and it
becomes a habit. And with it, you'll find yourself better prepared
to take full advantage of the opportunities that present
themselves at those pivotal moments in our careers.
Dan Beverly is a leadership and performance coach helping high-calibre, high-
performing professional women embrace the pivotal career moments.
His mission is to inspire possibility in others: to help us excel in careers without
compromise; and to leave us feeling energised and uplifted by a new future.
Go online to book your complimentary “Session Zero” with Dan – and start
capitalising on your pivotal career moments today.
http://danbeverly.com/session-0