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‘I held
things
here, and I
felt them.’
Tiny Love Stories
Collected by
Camille Whisenant
Short reflections on love in all its expansive, awe-inspiring,
gut-wrenching, melancholic, and cautiously hopeful forms,
written by people I love.
1
I kissed him for the first time on the summit of a mountain after
we’d narrowly missed each others paths for years and danced around
adding anything more to our newly woven friendship for months.
We were just friends first; friends who watched shooting stars on golf
courses and built cairns on riverbanks and talked about sex and love
45 feet up in a tree. I knew he was in love with me the day before he
first told me, when his eyes focused on mine longer than ever before
while I laid upside down on the roof of the car as the leaves turned
orange. We’ve watched the leaves change a few times now. He’s
everything I never knew I wanted; but they say the best things come
when you least expect them, don’t they?
My boyfriend called on his way to meet up with some friends. I told
him that I was in bed with a headache & that I just wanted to go to
sleep, but I had left my light on and didn’t want to get up to turn
it off. We went on about our days for a while, then he asked if he
could let himself into my apartment. I was confused, but agreed. He
walked in, turned off my lights, said goodnight and left. He came all
that way just to turn off my lights for me.
A child’s love is like no love I’ve ever experienced. After a day of
tears and tantrums and raised voices, when she looks me in the eye at
the end of the day and says “mama, I love you so much”, or when I
ask what she needs and all she says is “I just need you” and buries her
head into my chest, nothing else matters. No love will ever compete.
Hailey
2
today i heard a grandpa explaining the concept of
“slowly” to his sweet sweet baby granddaughter. she
asked, “grandpa, do you know what slowly means?”
and he said, “yes, it’s like ‘not fast’. it’s taking time and
feeling easy about something.”
Sophie Gee
3
i brought my best friend on our first date, because i didn’t know it
was a date. we spent a year talking about the biggest and smallest
of things, sitting in the basement of the library, convinced we had a
platonic type of warmth. almost a year after that first date, he kissed
me in nyc and we’ve been together ever since. as lucky as it gets!
Reagan Curtis
I looked into his eyes, and I saw the world. The combination of
green, brown, grey and blue became a kaleidoscope, skewing my
view of where we were. We no longer were simply painting a simple
picture together, but we were painting a life together, one that was
full of endless possibilities of colors. Just as I saw the world in his
eyes, I started to build my world around him.
Ben
When i was 5, my mom died.
When she was 5, her dad died.
When we were both 7, we moved to the same neighborhood.
When we were both 7 and a half, we met in grief counseling. We
didn’t talk much, but she drew devil horns on my yearbook photo in
second grade. Bad first impression.
13 years later, I slid into her dms.
I stuck the landing.
Been dating for a year and a half :)
4
I hate eye contact. I would avoid it at all costs. Until the day he told
me he loved me. Looking into his eyes has been my favorite thing
ever since. It seems like a silly thing, but I realized how looking in
eyes during conversation is a form of connection you can’t get any-
where else. So, now I am in love and have no fear of eye contact. He
likes to take credit for that one :)
As cliché as it sounds, love really does find you when you least expect
it. We only had two months to be together, but he made sure that I
was loved to the fullest extent within that short time. He compliment-
ed my laugh, listened to all of my wordy stories, and admired how
good I am at bossing people around. In short, he loved all the things
that I hated about myself. Now he’s gone but I am left with all of the
things that he loved about me, and now I love me too.
Kate
We were passing through the trees after four weeks of walking
between the lines of everything I ever was and all the things I never
thought I could be. He grabbed my hand and took a few more steps
before letting go. As he walked away he turned and said, “I love
you”. I know we were 15 but that’s never mattered to me. The rush
of joy was unlike anything I had ever felt. I can still feel it today. In
that moment I gained all the courage I’d ever need and for the first
time I had hope.
Calvin
5
I met my husband at a church dance when I was fourteen years old.
I had the BIGGEST crush on him at the time. After moving away
at 16, I never saw him again until I was 20 and starting college. I
downloaded a dating app for a single day because I thought it would
be funny, and there he was. After matching, we never stopped talking
and couldn’t get enough of each other. We ended up eloping in the
middle of a pandemic and we’re so happy about it!!
Bri
There are so many things I need to tell her. I need to figure out how
to summarize the best things that have happened to me and the ways
that I have changed and how hard it is to keep in touch but how bad-
ly I want to. How much I wish we lived near each other so we could
be together in her old small house. I think I will call her and tell her
and we will say all of the same things we seem to say every conversa-
tion, but it somehow never gets old to me.
Haley
My mom was surprised when she found herself, at the age of 44,
pregnant with me. She’d say, I guess I’m young enough to have a
baby, but old enough I’ll have to hold the baby at arms length to be
able to see it.
She didn’t count me as an accident, but rather as an unexpected
blessing.
We have been close. I always knew she was an older mom and
that I might not have her around forever. I treasured our everyday
moments together. She has surprised me. In October this year, she
celebrated her 101st birthday with family. We are still treasuring our
time together.
Suzi Haynes
6
It feels so obvious but it’s inexplainable. That’s why I think it’s love.
They took me in my junior year. The group has shrunk and tightened
since but is the same for all intents and purposes. I had never had
a friend group like that, and I had never had friends like that. Our
conversations feel like a well written sitcom (high praise). Everyone’s
so different but there’s an intangible force that holds us together. It
feels meant to be that we found each other, and all those other cheesy
things people say when they’re in love. That’s why I think it’s love.
Melina Carino
In 7th grade, I liked this boy in my PE class who would race me
everyday to see who could change into our gym clothes first.
One day, as my mom was driving me home from school, we passed
him walking home. Carrying his bright green hydroflask and giant
trumpet case, he enthusiastically smiled and waved at me. As I waved
back, my mom excitedly began asking questions about the “cute boy
with the trumpet case.”
Six years later, I’m dating the “cute boy with the trumpet case” and
we just celebrated our two year anniversary.
Avery Smith
The breakup wasn’t a surprise to either of us. We knew each other
well enough to understand that we needed to be apart, but it still hurt
when we sat holding hands for the last time with nothing more to say
to each other. All the good memories in that room were about to be
overtaken by this sad, final conversation. We promised that the other
would be okay. It took some time, but we are both much happier. I
remember it now with fondness knowing that despite the failed rela-
tionship, our parting promises worked out.
7
I was playing an old hymn (Homeward Bound) in the car
this summer when my sister told me that after my mom had
a miscarriage when we were younger, my dad (who is not a
singer) printed out the lyrics of Homeward Bound and taped
them to the window so he could sing it while washing the
dishes. I was too little to remember that so I treasure knowing
now the earnest and tender way my dad grieved.
M
8
I’ve always been fascinated by how a tiny piece of paper can trav-
el worldwide, with a message written just for you. My address has
changed too many times in the past years, yet I can always rely on
a letter from a special someone to find its way back to me. I admire
those friendships where you haven’t seen them in years, but the sec-
ond you reunite it feels like no time has passed. This little expression
reminds me that love isn’t limited by distance or time and can be felt
through a simple letter sent on a Sunday afternoon.
Elena
Nathan takes my shoes off for me. It’s such a small, dumb thing but
he always does it for me if I ask. He’ll pull my foot into his lap, untie
the laces, and then he’ll wiggle and I’ll pull and eventually we get it
off. Nathan never stops showing me that he loves me, even when I
feel undeserving. It’s in his arms and his eyes and the way he takes
my shoes off.
Tenley Childs
i always knew maggie fitts and i would be best friends. she was off in
texas with no clue that i knew we would be best friends. the universe
did it’s part by making us roommates by chance. within weeks i had
confirmed what i always knew. maggie fitts and i were best friends.
one year later and no one has allowed me to share more about my
life with them and helped me grow as a person in my family and
romantic relationships. i would do anything for ms maggie!!!!
Allie
9
We met traveling in Cambodia. 8,064 miles away from here. I went
back to Utah, and he went to Indiana. 1,553 miles away for 2 years.
I left for Washington and he returned to Utah. 950 miles away for 1
year. 3 years worth of letters, and now we’ll rarely stand more than a
few inches apart from each other, forever.
Ellie Bearnson
As my grandma got older, the more her mind faded. The more she
seemed to trip over her words, the more she let her thoughts trail off,
as though that fog that filled her mind and confused her could sense
when she was remembering too much about who she was and what
made her such a beautiful person. However, she never seemed to
forget how much she loved her grandchildren, or how talented she
was at building tapestries of quilts, or how excited she was to share
her pumpkin bread with her neighbors. As she gets older and loses
her talent for baking or quilting, she never seems to lose her talent for
making someone feel loved, feel important, like the burdens of their
life are just a bit lighter. And that is the love that I’ll always remem-
ber, that I’ll always treasure.
Ben
I met the love of my life at 15 years old. We started officially dating
soon after. Everyone told us to stop dating and to focus on ourselves.
That we were too young to know what love was. But our love was
pure. Nobody thought it was possible to find ourselves, while learning
to love another person. But Jonathan and I did it, and still do at 22
years old now. People forget that relationships can grow with you, but
that’s the way they should be. We are constantly growing, from one
day old to 99+years old. And I wouldn’t want to continue growing
with anyone else.
Eliza Falk
10
It’s bittersweet to remember him and only then realize that I had
fallen in love. To see the way I reached out and pulled away. Fought
it like a riptide, embraced it like an August storm. Only once I could
finally look at myself could I see the way I had looked at you. I never
would have told you; I might still tell you now. Because it still feels
easy to talk to you. Even after the currents returned to the deep, after
the tempests came and went. Because the sea is still there, and the
rain still falls.
Jake Dayton
He loved football, so she learned the rules and players’ names. They
sat on the 50th-yard line every single home game. They always held
hands and shared a coke. And they memorized every word to the
fight song, together. Decades have passed, and so has he. Four years
gone and she hasn’t missed a game. For a few hours a week, it’s as
if he never left. She whoops and hollers and talks about her love.
She believes he’s still there, cheering right beside her. And we agree,
because football and Grandma were his two true loves.
Sabrina Bengtzen
Me and my sister never really showed very much affection growing
up, physically or verbally. We fought a lot growing up, but since she
moved out we’ve become very close. We still don’t have many ex-
changes of affection, but last Christmas, I got her a necklace as a gift.
She wore it everyday. I don’t know how often she took it off but she
was wearing it every time I saw her. I know that she loves me because
of the little things that she does, and how important that necklace
was to her.
Caitlyn Crum
I’ve always played it pretty safe in life and love, but
when an internet stranger with a perfect smile asked
if I wanted to go on a picnic, I disregarded every true
crime podcast I’ve ever listened to and every online
safety assembly I sat through in school. I gave him my
address, even though he said we could meet in public
if I preferred. Now, I hold his hand under the dinner
table and wink at him when our eyes meet over our
laptops in the library and when we get to my parents’
house, my dog trots over to greet him first.
11
12
He had been the first crush I ever had. I flew to New York to see him
in October. We spent 4 days together.
When the 4 days were over, we went our separate ways. I flew home
and dreamed of those days for a long time.
Two months later over the phone, it ended. The reality was that it
was never meant to last. I had never hurt like that before. The rela-
tionship was right but it was in the wrong conditions. We have both
moved on now. It’s hard knowing it might have worked.
That was my first love.
Blair
My family got a second dog after I moved away to college. I knew
that since I didn’t live at home I wouldn’t see her much but two years
later she would be the first one to greet me whenever I came home.
She would sleep in my bed and follow me around the house and after
I left my dad would text me to tell me she runs down to my room
every morning to see if I’m still there and sleeps by the front door
waiting for me to come home. I call her the love of my life and I
don’t think I could feel a more unconditional love.
MJ Willardson
He came and went. Just like that. Showered me with all his emotions
and deepest feelings for me and I gave him nothing. I now realize
that I was at fault. All I did was bottle up my emotions for him never
giving him what he truly deserved. Now I wish he could feel the
warmth of the rays of emotions I hold for him.
13
My boyfriend and I were driving back to school after visiting his
parents. He was hungry so he stopped at McDonald’s and asked if I
wanted anything. I told him I wasn’t hungry and only wanted a wa-
ter. At the drive through he ordered the water and two large fries and
I thought they were both for him. When we got the food he handed
me a fry and said “I know you”. I married him.
Carmen
I was a freshman in high school at a cross country meet. I saw this
boy across the field and fell instantly for him. I watched him run and
win all the races. From that day on at every meet and race I’d try to
look for him. Years later I saw that he went to the same church I’d go
to once a month. During the service I’d sit there and think of ways
I could get his attention but he had no idea who I was. Each month
the same thing, would look forward to just being in the same room
with him. Month after month I’d try to see if he would notice me
but he never did. A few years later we followed each other on social
media. Almost 6 years later he dm me asking me out. We went out
on a date, and the next day he moved for the summer. We ended up
talking everyday of the summer and dated for two years.
Kissing you left me dizzy and breathless, but that was not why I did
it. I did it because it made us both feel less alone, to share warmth, to
feel safe, to share a secret, even if I was the secret.
Ben
14
I was in a relationship for 8 months. Everything about this guy was
perfect but the only problem was that he wasn’t on the same spiritual
level as I was. He had no intention of getting married in the temple
or making it a priority to go to church. I considered lowering my
standards for him because he gave me the world and more, but he
wasn’t able to give me what I really needed. We tried long distance
when I moved an ocean away, but I knew then that what we had
wasn’t going to work out with the type of future I was aiming for.
Definitely had to break both our hearts through a text.
Twice a week I walk the same hallway to my classroom. There’s a
bench in the corner and each day a girl I don’t know sits there. It’s
the same girl eating her lunch and working on her laptop every time.
I’ve come to rely on the consistency she brings each time I see her.
It’s centering. Today I randomly told her about how much I appre-
ciate this small consistent thing. She smiled and laughed. I did too.
I hope next time I’ll have the courage to ask her name and tell her
mine.
Ali
I went to the east coast for the summer. I was sad and unfulfilled
and needed a change. There I found a boy I had long known about
but never yet met. I thought he would be a friend. He became my
best one. He is smart and funny and charismatic. He is some of my
weaknesses and most of the strengths I wish I had. He makes me feel
a way I haven’t since I was seventeen—and more deeply so. I think
we healed each other a little. The one thing we don’t share is faith. I
offered it to him. We’ll see if he keeps it. He is still my love. We’ll see.
Every day I hope it’s him.
Lizzie
Psalm 40
I am content because before me looms the hope of love.
I do not have it; I do not yet have it.
It is a bird strong enough to lead me by the rope it bites;
unless I pull, it is strong enough for me.
I do worry the end of my days might come
and I will not yet have it. But even then I will be brave
upon my deathbed, and why shouldn’t I be?
I held things here, and I felt them.
And to all I felt I will whisper hosanna for goodbye.
It is sweet to think of myself, alone at that very moment,
able to say such a thing
to all that was my life, and to all that was not.
Katie Ford

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Tiny Love Stories' captures love in all its forms

  • 1. ‘I held things here, and I felt them.’ Tiny Love Stories Collected by Camille Whisenant
  • 2. Short reflections on love in all its expansive, awe-inspiring, gut-wrenching, melancholic, and cautiously hopeful forms, written by people I love.
  • 3. 1 I kissed him for the first time on the summit of a mountain after we’d narrowly missed each others paths for years and danced around adding anything more to our newly woven friendship for months. We were just friends first; friends who watched shooting stars on golf courses and built cairns on riverbanks and talked about sex and love 45 feet up in a tree. I knew he was in love with me the day before he first told me, when his eyes focused on mine longer than ever before while I laid upside down on the roof of the car as the leaves turned orange. We’ve watched the leaves change a few times now. He’s everything I never knew I wanted; but they say the best things come when you least expect them, don’t they? My boyfriend called on his way to meet up with some friends. I told him that I was in bed with a headache & that I just wanted to go to sleep, but I had left my light on and didn’t want to get up to turn it off. We went on about our days for a while, then he asked if he could let himself into my apartment. I was confused, but agreed. He walked in, turned off my lights, said goodnight and left. He came all that way just to turn off my lights for me. A child’s love is like no love I’ve ever experienced. After a day of tears and tantrums and raised voices, when she looks me in the eye at the end of the day and says “mama, I love you so much”, or when I ask what she needs and all she says is “I just need you” and buries her head into my chest, nothing else matters. No love will ever compete. Hailey
  • 4. 2 today i heard a grandpa explaining the concept of “slowly” to his sweet sweet baby granddaughter. she asked, “grandpa, do you know what slowly means?” and he said, “yes, it’s like ‘not fast’. it’s taking time and feeling easy about something.” Sophie Gee
  • 5. 3 i brought my best friend on our first date, because i didn’t know it was a date. we spent a year talking about the biggest and smallest of things, sitting in the basement of the library, convinced we had a platonic type of warmth. almost a year after that first date, he kissed me in nyc and we’ve been together ever since. as lucky as it gets! Reagan Curtis I looked into his eyes, and I saw the world. The combination of green, brown, grey and blue became a kaleidoscope, skewing my view of where we were. We no longer were simply painting a simple picture together, but we were painting a life together, one that was full of endless possibilities of colors. Just as I saw the world in his eyes, I started to build my world around him. Ben When i was 5, my mom died. When she was 5, her dad died. When we were both 7, we moved to the same neighborhood. When we were both 7 and a half, we met in grief counseling. We didn’t talk much, but she drew devil horns on my yearbook photo in second grade. Bad first impression. 13 years later, I slid into her dms. I stuck the landing. Been dating for a year and a half :)
  • 6. 4 I hate eye contact. I would avoid it at all costs. Until the day he told me he loved me. Looking into his eyes has been my favorite thing ever since. It seems like a silly thing, but I realized how looking in eyes during conversation is a form of connection you can’t get any- where else. So, now I am in love and have no fear of eye contact. He likes to take credit for that one :) As cliché as it sounds, love really does find you when you least expect it. We only had two months to be together, but he made sure that I was loved to the fullest extent within that short time. He compliment- ed my laugh, listened to all of my wordy stories, and admired how good I am at bossing people around. In short, he loved all the things that I hated about myself. Now he’s gone but I am left with all of the things that he loved about me, and now I love me too. Kate We were passing through the trees after four weeks of walking between the lines of everything I ever was and all the things I never thought I could be. He grabbed my hand and took a few more steps before letting go. As he walked away he turned and said, “I love you”. I know we were 15 but that’s never mattered to me. The rush of joy was unlike anything I had ever felt. I can still feel it today. In that moment I gained all the courage I’d ever need and for the first time I had hope. Calvin
  • 7. 5 I met my husband at a church dance when I was fourteen years old. I had the BIGGEST crush on him at the time. After moving away at 16, I never saw him again until I was 20 and starting college. I downloaded a dating app for a single day because I thought it would be funny, and there he was. After matching, we never stopped talking and couldn’t get enough of each other. We ended up eloping in the middle of a pandemic and we’re so happy about it!! Bri There are so many things I need to tell her. I need to figure out how to summarize the best things that have happened to me and the ways that I have changed and how hard it is to keep in touch but how bad- ly I want to. How much I wish we lived near each other so we could be together in her old small house. I think I will call her and tell her and we will say all of the same things we seem to say every conversa- tion, but it somehow never gets old to me. Haley My mom was surprised when she found herself, at the age of 44, pregnant with me. She’d say, I guess I’m young enough to have a baby, but old enough I’ll have to hold the baby at arms length to be able to see it. She didn’t count me as an accident, but rather as an unexpected blessing. We have been close. I always knew she was an older mom and that I might not have her around forever. I treasured our everyday moments together. She has surprised me. In October this year, she celebrated her 101st birthday with family. We are still treasuring our time together. Suzi Haynes
  • 8. 6 It feels so obvious but it’s inexplainable. That’s why I think it’s love. They took me in my junior year. The group has shrunk and tightened since but is the same for all intents and purposes. I had never had a friend group like that, and I had never had friends like that. Our conversations feel like a well written sitcom (high praise). Everyone’s so different but there’s an intangible force that holds us together. It feels meant to be that we found each other, and all those other cheesy things people say when they’re in love. That’s why I think it’s love. Melina Carino In 7th grade, I liked this boy in my PE class who would race me everyday to see who could change into our gym clothes first. One day, as my mom was driving me home from school, we passed him walking home. Carrying his bright green hydroflask and giant trumpet case, he enthusiastically smiled and waved at me. As I waved back, my mom excitedly began asking questions about the “cute boy with the trumpet case.” Six years later, I’m dating the “cute boy with the trumpet case” and we just celebrated our two year anniversary. Avery Smith The breakup wasn’t a surprise to either of us. We knew each other well enough to understand that we needed to be apart, but it still hurt when we sat holding hands for the last time with nothing more to say to each other. All the good memories in that room were about to be overtaken by this sad, final conversation. We promised that the other would be okay. It took some time, but we are both much happier. I remember it now with fondness knowing that despite the failed rela- tionship, our parting promises worked out.
  • 9. 7 I was playing an old hymn (Homeward Bound) in the car this summer when my sister told me that after my mom had a miscarriage when we were younger, my dad (who is not a singer) printed out the lyrics of Homeward Bound and taped them to the window so he could sing it while washing the dishes. I was too little to remember that so I treasure knowing now the earnest and tender way my dad grieved. M
  • 10. 8 I’ve always been fascinated by how a tiny piece of paper can trav- el worldwide, with a message written just for you. My address has changed too many times in the past years, yet I can always rely on a letter from a special someone to find its way back to me. I admire those friendships where you haven’t seen them in years, but the sec- ond you reunite it feels like no time has passed. This little expression reminds me that love isn’t limited by distance or time and can be felt through a simple letter sent on a Sunday afternoon. Elena Nathan takes my shoes off for me. It’s such a small, dumb thing but he always does it for me if I ask. He’ll pull my foot into his lap, untie the laces, and then he’ll wiggle and I’ll pull and eventually we get it off. Nathan never stops showing me that he loves me, even when I feel undeserving. It’s in his arms and his eyes and the way he takes my shoes off. Tenley Childs i always knew maggie fitts and i would be best friends. she was off in texas with no clue that i knew we would be best friends. the universe did it’s part by making us roommates by chance. within weeks i had confirmed what i always knew. maggie fitts and i were best friends. one year later and no one has allowed me to share more about my life with them and helped me grow as a person in my family and romantic relationships. i would do anything for ms maggie!!!! Allie
  • 11. 9 We met traveling in Cambodia. 8,064 miles away from here. I went back to Utah, and he went to Indiana. 1,553 miles away for 2 years. I left for Washington and he returned to Utah. 950 miles away for 1 year. 3 years worth of letters, and now we’ll rarely stand more than a few inches apart from each other, forever. Ellie Bearnson As my grandma got older, the more her mind faded. The more she seemed to trip over her words, the more she let her thoughts trail off, as though that fog that filled her mind and confused her could sense when she was remembering too much about who she was and what made her such a beautiful person. However, she never seemed to forget how much she loved her grandchildren, or how talented she was at building tapestries of quilts, or how excited she was to share her pumpkin bread with her neighbors. As she gets older and loses her talent for baking or quilting, she never seems to lose her talent for making someone feel loved, feel important, like the burdens of their life are just a bit lighter. And that is the love that I’ll always remem- ber, that I’ll always treasure. Ben I met the love of my life at 15 years old. We started officially dating soon after. Everyone told us to stop dating and to focus on ourselves. That we were too young to know what love was. But our love was pure. Nobody thought it was possible to find ourselves, while learning to love another person. But Jonathan and I did it, and still do at 22 years old now. People forget that relationships can grow with you, but that’s the way they should be. We are constantly growing, from one day old to 99+years old. And I wouldn’t want to continue growing with anyone else. Eliza Falk
  • 12. 10 It’s bittersweet to remember him and only then realize that I had fallen in love. To see the way I reached out and pulled away. Fought it like a riptide, embraced it like an August storm. Only once I could finally look at myself could I see the way I had looked at you. I never would have told you; I might still tell you now. Because it still feels easy to talk to you. Even after the currents returned to the deep, after the tempests came and went. Because the sea is still there, and the rain still falls. Jake Dayton He loved football, so she learned the rules and players’ names. They sat on the 50th-yard line every single home game. They always held hands and shared a coke. And they memorized every word to the fight song, together. Decades have passed, and so has he. Four years gone and she hasn’t missed a game. For a few hours a week, it’s as if he never left. She whoops and hollers and talks about her love. She believes he’s still there, cheering right beside her. And we agree, because football and Grandma were his two true loves. Sabrina Bengtzen Me and my sister never really showed very much affection growing up, physically or verbally. We fought a lot growing up, but since she moved out we’ve become very close. We still don’t have many ex- changes of affection, but last Christmas, I got her a necklace as a gift. She wore it everyday. I don’t know how often she took it off but she was wearing it every time I saw her. I know that she loves me because of the little things that she does, and how important that necklace was to her. Caitlyn Crum
  • 13. I’ve always played it pretty safe in life and love, but when an internet stranger with a perfect smile asked if I wanted to go on a picnic, I disregarded every true crime podcast I’ve ever listened to and every online safety assembly I sat through in school. I gave him my address, even though he said we could meet in public if I preferred. Now, I hold his hand under the dinner table and wink at him when our eyes meet over our laptops in the library and when we get to my parents’ house, my dog trots over to greet him first. 11
  • 14. 12 He had been the first crush I ever had. I flew to New York to see him in October. We spent 4 days together. When the 4 days were over, we went our separate ways. I flew home and dreamed of those days for a long time. Two months later over the phone, it ended. The reality was that it was never meant to last. I had never hurt like that before. The rela- tionship was right but it was in the wrong conditions. We have both moved on now. It’s hard knowing it might have worked. That was my first love. Blair My family got a second dog after I moved away to college. I knew that since I didn’t live at home I wouldn’t see her much but two years later she would be the first one to greet me whenever I came home. She would sleep in my bed and follow me around the house and after I left my dad would text me to tell me she runs down to my room every morning to see if I’m still there and sleeps by the front door waiting for me to come home. I call her the love of my life and I don’t think I could feel a more unconditional love. MJ Willardson He came and went. Just like that. Showered me with all his emotions and deepest feelings for me and I gave him nothing. I now realize that I was at fault. All I did was bottle up my emotions for him never giving him what he truly deserved. Now I wish he could feel the warmth of the rays of emotions I hold for him.
  • 15. 13 My boyfriend and I were driving back to school after visiting his parents. He was hungry so he stopped at McDonald’s and asked if I wanted anything. I told him I wasn’t hungry and only wanted a wa- ter. At the drive through he ordered the water and two large fries and I thought they were both for him. When we got the food he handed me a fry and said “I know you”. I married him. Carmen I was a freshman in high school at a cross country meet. I saw this boy across the field and fell instantly for him. I watched him run and win all the races. From that day on at every meet and race I’d try to look for him. Years later I saw that he went to the same church I’d go to once a month. During the service I’d sit there and think of ways I could get his attention but he had no idea who I was. Each month the same thing, would look forward to just being in the same room with him. Month after month I’d try to see if he would notice me but he never did. A few years later we followed each other on social media. Almost 6 years later he dm me asking me out. We went out on a date, and the next day he moved for the summer. We ended up talking everyday of the summer and dated for two years. Kissing you left me dizzy and breathless, but that was not why I did it. I did it because it made us both feel less alone, to share warmth, to feel safe, to share a secret, even if I was the secret. Ben
  • 16. 14 I was in a relationship for 8 months. Everything about this guy was perfect but the only problem was that he wasn’t on the same spiritual level as I was. He had no intention of getting married in the temple or making it a priority to go to church. I considered lowering my standards for him because he gave me the world and more, but he wasn’t able to give me what I really needed. We tried long distance when I moved an ocean away, but I knew then that what we had wasn’t going to work out with the type of future I was aiming for. Definitely had to break both our hearts through a text. Twice a week I walk the same hallway to my classroom. There’s a bench in the corner and each day a girl I don’t know sits there. It’s the same girl eating her lunch and working on her laptop every time. I’ve come to rely on the consistency she brings each time I see her. It’s centering. Today I randomly told her about how much I appre- ciate this small consistent thing. She smiled and laughed. I did too. I hope next time I’ll have the courage to ask her name and tell her mine. Ali I went to the east coast for the summer. I was sad and unfulfilled and needed a change. There I found a boy I had long known about but never yet met. I thought he would be a friend. He became my best one. He is smart and funny and charismatic. He is some of my weaknesses and most of the strengths I wish I had. He makes me feel a way I haven’t since I was seventeen—and more deeply so. I think we healed each other a little. The one thing we don’t share is faith. I offered it to him. We’ll see if he keeps it. He is still my love. We’ll see. Every day I hope it’s him. Lizzie
  • 17. Psalm 40 I am content because before me looms the hope of love. I do not have it; I do not yet have it. It is a bird strong enough to lead me by the rope it bites; unless I pull, it is strong enough for me. I do worry the end of my days might come and I will not yet have it. But even then I will be brave upon my deathbed, and why shouldn’t I be? I held things here, and I felt them. And to all I felt I will whisper hosanna for goodbye. It is sweet to think of myself, alone at that very moment, able to say such a thing to all that was my life, and to all that was not. Katie Ford