How to be the alpha male become a winner, not a whiner

2. The Alpha Male

3. How To Be The Alpha Male – Become
a WINNER, not a Whiner
Ryan King

5. Table of Contents
How To Be The Alpha Male – Become a WINNER, not a
Whiner
Table of Contents
Chapter 1: What is an Alpha Male?
It’s Good to Be King
Humans and Animals: We’re Not So Different
Be an Alpha
The Alpha and his Women
Alpha Doesn’t Mean Asshole
Chapter 2: What Kind of Guy are you?
The Beta (aka ‘The Nice Guy’)
The Jerk
Chapter 3: The Mindset of the Alpha Male
It Comes Natural
The Alpha Mindset and Women
Women are people, too!
Make yourself vulnerable
Know your Territory

6. Invest In People and ‘Buy In’
Don’t be ‘the Funny Guy’
Let Your Body do the Talking
Remain cool
Don’t Over-Plan
Chapter 4: How to Live Life on Your Terms
Focus Yourself and Strike
Pushing Your Physical Limits
‘You are what you eat.’
Catch your Zzzzzzs
Watch your Words
Eye Contact
Desire Dominance
Invest in Looking Great
Chapter 5: Alphas and Career
Consistency
Confidence
Desire to Protect
Keep Your Ego in Check

7. Dependable
Quick Tips
Chapter 6: Women and the Alpha Male
Keep Your Cool
Be Yourself
Absence Makes the Heart Grow Fonder
Add Some Mystery
Don’t be Needy
Chapter 7: Affirmations
Our subjective reality
How affirmations work
How to create good affirmations
30 self-confidence affirmations that will transform your
life

9. Chapter 1: What is an Alpha
Male?
Everyone wants to take charge of their life, providing
themselves with dominion over their sphere of influence.
Men are no exception to this rule.
If you’ve ever watched any TV show about animals, you
know that many animal groups (like lions, wolves,
elephants, etc.) have what is known as the ‘alpha male’, or
the dominating male figure that sets the pace for the rest of
the animals in the group. This male leader takes charge; it
decides where to hunt or where to graze and when to pick
a fight or when to run. The other animals in the group seem
to follow what the leader does, and or the most part,
respect his position of authority. They also protect the
people around them, especially the ‘women and children’,
from roaming males that might have entered in to their
land.

10. It’s Good to Be King
Being ‘alpha male’ comes with a lot of responsibility. In
the case of lions, the alpha male has unlimited mating
rights with all the lionesses in the pride in exchange for
protection. He gets the first choice at meal times and
always eats first. In fact, he can enjoy all of his Kingly
duties, as long as he can hold the position and protect it
from any other male that might be interested in taking it
from him.

11. Humans and Animals: We’re Not
So Different
Alpha males are few; that’s why you won’t find more than
one alpha male in a group. Any growing or nomadic males
that are interested in taking over an animal group will
have to face the Alpha to a fight, one on one, for the
position in the animal pack. This doesn’t mean that he’s
the only male in the group; the other males (beta males)
are simply submissive to the overpowering presence of
the alpha male and don’t challenge his domain as a result.
Most females of an animal species prefer an ‘alpha type’
male males that exhibit certain characteristics that prove
he’s not only strong, but smart and protective enough to
keep their group safe. Human females are no different; on
some base level, most women are attracted to the types of
men that exhibit the same features as an Alpha in a pride
of lions. Having the ability to have offspring with an
‘alpha’ that is strong, smart, and quick are all desirable
traits to have in a lion cub, and just like the lionesses in
the pride, human women also locate men, ‘alpha men’, that
exhibit the same sort of qualities to not only protect their
children, but also pass on those traits through the
generations.
So, what the difference between being the ‘nobody beta
male’ and the Alpha male who calls all the shots in their
life? According to the Cambridge dictionary, an Alpha

12. male is the most powerful and most successful in any
grouping; this is why every man wants to be that man and
has the potential to be the Alpha that they desire so much
to become.
Although the Cambridge’s definition may seem simplistic,
it speaks volumes in it’s simplicity. Being the Alpha isn’t
about being the most arrogant or insensitive. It’s not about
manipulating people or being selfish. Being an Alpha is
about taking charge of your masculinity, to live like the
man you want to be, and being in control of the situations
around you.

13. Be an Alpha
Many women prefer men who ‘act like men’. Unlike the
rest of the animal kingdom, where you have to prove that
you are the Alpha by kicking everyone’s ass to hold your
position, being a human Alpha is significantly more
involved. You won’t have to show off your manly
prowess by fighting (lions), running fast (wolves), or dye
your skin a bright color (peacocks). As a human Alpha,
you’ll be required to have a strong ability to connect with
and lead people by displaying your expertise in a certain
field, using your life experiences as an example to teach
and guide others, and being ambitious enough to show
theses fine aspects of yourself to the people around you.
The Alpha is in control, and this helps put people at ease
and feel safe. A human Alpha exudes confidence and an
overpowering charisma. It’s these characteristics that
command respect from the people around them, regardless
of gender, and draws women to find the Alpha more
attractive on a primal level as they look for good, strong
genes to pass on to their offspring.
The Alpha is the kind of guy who gets ‘first class
treatment’ everywhere he goes. His attitude and
confidence demand respect and superior treatment without
even asking for it. He is the guy who gets the bartender’s
attention at the club without having to flag him down for a
drink. He is the kind of guy who people ask advice from,

14. even if he has no real knowledge on the topic because he
exudes an aura of power and authority by the way he
carries himself. The way he looks, the way he talks, and
the way he is around other people is what makes him so
special. It’s not just about ‘getting laid whenever and
wherever you want’; it’s about taking responsibility for
your actions and mastering yourself to the point of being in
control of everything around you. You can be the best
pickup artist there is, but a real Alpha will ‘take your
pack’ from you every time if the people around you don’t
respect or trust you. An Alpha’s pack know that he is
someone that can be counted on, even if it’s hard, and he
won’t back down in the face of a challenge.
Unlike animals, Alpha men know how to draw the line
between arrogance and confidence. He can differentiate
between being assertive and being unnecessarily
aggressive. He doesn’t boss people around, but rather,
leads by example. He doesn’t mind getting his hands dirty
and he has 100% loyalty from his pack because he is
completely loyal to them. His influence comes from
within; he doesn’t have to make people around him feel
bad about themselves in order to lift himself up. He’s not
threatened by others. After all, he doesn’t have anything to
prove. In fact, he’s likely to help lift others up, too,
because a strong ‘pack’ is good for everyone involved,
Alphas included.
An Alpha lives on his own terms and does not let the

15. circumstances around him dictate the kind of life he should
live. Every challenge presents an opportunity to an Alpha,
and in his life there are no obstacles, only new windows
of opportunity. He isn’t the kind of guy who whines all day
at work because he got a flat tire in the morning; he fixed it
without a problem. If he didn’t know how, he doesn’t
make excuses for his inadequacies because he finds
solutions for every obstacle that comes his way.

16. The Alpha and his Women
To many men, approaching a woman in most scenarios is
overwhelming, daunting, and sometimes even brutal.
Alphas don’t just fantasize about the woman they want,
they show he why she’d be a fool not to be with him. Men
that aren’t Alphas justify their cowardice at approaching
women is ‘another guy’; we’ve heard it all before, ‘How
can she like that guy?’
Are you that guy? Are you unlucky with women? Do you
feel like you are pitied by those around you? Are you
manipulated or taken advantage of in your work space or
your life?
As an Alpha, you’ll have the confidence to the women you
want to be around. If you can challenge your inner Alpha
and are confident of yourself, you’ll find women drawn to
you. You’ll be the ‘hot guy that everyone wants’ instead of
looking at the ‘hot women that you know you have no
chance with’.

17. Alpha Doesn’t Mean Asshole
The kind of Alpha we are discussing in this book isn’t the
guy who will step over everyone to get what he wants.
Being an Alpha is not about being arrogant or bullying
people around you. An Alpha shouldn’t be close-minded,
domineering, or so macho they don’t care about their
appearance, either.
Don’t misunderstand; being a considerate Alpha doesn’t
mean that you should be so accommodating that other
people (especially women) can manipulate you. If you
want to be an Alpha, you have to be the guy who has the
perfect blend of power, charisma, charm, humility, and
demands respect from everyone the moment he enters a
room. He is the ultimate picture of security, good health,
masculinity, strength, and confidence with a life that is
exciting surrounded by perfect order. In short, the Alpha
knows how to keep his shit together, without whining
about it.

19. Chapter 2: What Kind of Guy
are you?
To help you understand how you can transform yourself in
to the alpha male that you’ve always wanted to be, it’s
important to understand the type of man that society sees
you as. I have broken guys up in to three different groups.
We’ve already discussed the Alpha, but by learning about
the other types and by comparing them, you can take
important lessons apply them to your life and how you are
seen in the ‘pack’.

20. The Beta (aka ‘The Nice Guy’)
I’m sure you’ve heard the saying, ‘Nice guys finish last.’
We all know them; maybe you are ‘them’. He’s the kind of
guy who has the desire to take control, but lacks the
confidence needed to seize it. He may end up doing
nothing about his desires because he is the planner, not a
‘doer’. He may have waited months for the first kiss with
the girl he’s been too cowardly to make a move on. Most
of us can associate with being the guy who was always
waiting for his girlfriend to do something without actually
doing something about the situation. These are the guys
that usually get put in the infamous ‘Friend Zone’, and
most of the time it’s not because they are unattractive or
not ‘cool’ enough. It’s because they were too ‘nice’, they
were assertive, or forward, enough to make sure that their
intentions are known; especially with women.
In the wild, the Betas are the members of the pack that are
more comfortable following than leading. This isn’t a bad
thing; not everyone is a leader and every leader needs
followers. In this case, however, they are highly
indecisive, not assertive enough, and lack confidence. In
the case of many women, it’s important for them to feel as
safe and protected as possible. In the case of an Alpha
verses a Beta, the Alpha is likely preferred because he

21. will provide more comfort and safety than a Beta will.
The Alpha’s personality attributes are what makes him
more appealing, because he doesn’t lack the important
decision making abilities and confidence to lead a family.

22. The Jerk
This is the guy that is always trying to start a fight. He
doesn’t care about your feelings, is overly aggressive,
very close minded, and is easily offended. He tends to be
negative, and tries to make the people around him feel bad
about themselves. Jerks are the primitive version of an
Alpha male; they may have a good sense of humor and
even great social skills so people find them fairly fun to be
around. They may be good looking, strong, or talented in a
specific area. Their flaw is that they feel poorly about
themselves in some area, and because of this, make
everyone around them suffer for it. They put others down,
humiliate them, or worse, belittle them in an attempt to
raise themselves up and make them look more powerful.
A Beta that is trying too hard to be an Alpha, many times,
comes off as a Jerk. He seems composed, but deep down
has nothing in control. The confidence of an Alpha stems
from self-control where with a Jerk, it comes from putting
others down.
It’s not uncommon to find that Jerks tend to have a lot of
girlfriends; this is because they appear to have all the
qualities of an Alpha, with the exception of a mean streak
that usually runs off women that don’t want to be abused.

24. Chapter 3: The Mindset of the
Alpha Male

25. It Comes Natural
It comes natural for Alphas; the pack leader isn’t
concerned about how he has to “activate” his Alpha
qualities in order to succeed. In fact, he won’t even think
he’s the leader of the social pack because this is the only
life he knows. He won’t be the guy betting with others on
who will pick up the hottest girls around town, and
somehow he can line up a date out of nowhere. Alphas
know there worth, and there don’t need to remind others
exactly who and what they are. It’s not a competition, after
all, right?
Be confident. You don’t need to have everyone’s approval
to do the things you want; you can’t make everyone happy.

26. The Alpha Mindset and Women
Women are great. This doesn’t mean that they need to be
your driving focus in life. In fact, having a girlfriend isn’t
something you can force. It happens naturally when you
focus on the important things in your life.
When you have your life in control, you’ll feel much more
confident about approaching women. People feed off of
this cool, collected confidence and they will feel drawn to
you.

27. Women are people, too!
She may be the most beautiful person you have ever seen,
but she isn’t a god. In fact, she’s just like every other
person you’ve ever met. She might like the same things
you do, or doesn’t; she might have different tastes in food
or music, ultimately, she is a person, just like you. Try
approaching women like people, not objects, and you
might find it’s not only easier for you to communicate with
them, but that you’ll have an easier time connecting with
them.

28. Make yourself vulnerable
Vulnerability, in this instance, is not weakness. You don’t
have to be a ‘macho type’ guy who is free of emotions.
Being the Alpha doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t reassure
your pack that everything is under control; this reassurance
is a sign of strength and honesty worth to be followed.
Don’t be afraid to tell that hot chick that she is beautiful
simply because you don’t want to be labeled as weak.
Likewise, don’t try to be the guy who grabs every chick’s
ass because you feel like you have something to prove. By
asserting yourself and being open and honest, you open up
yourself up to being approachable. Alphas feel
comfortable, even when you are most vulnerable and
that’s what reassures others about your status in your pack.

29. Know your Territory
You can’t be the best at everything. In fact, you are likely
to suck at something. Alpha males understand where their
area of influence starts and where it ends. Know your
sphere of influence and operate within that sphere, then
align yourself with people that are Alpha’s in their own
right. Are you great with sales calls, but are terrible with
numbers? That’s okay! You’ve got a ‘Numbers Guy’, and
he’s the best in the business.
In the wild, lone lions keep a low profile when moving
through another pride’s territory. That is, unless they are
looking to pick a fight. In the example above, this means
that if it involves numbers, don’t go around acting like
you’ve got it covered if it’s not your territory. Alphas
don’t undermine their bosses at work. Why? Because
they’ll get fired, and being broke certainly isn’t the best
way to keep control of your life, much less your finances.
Your boss, in the case of work, is the Alpha of your
workplace and if you cannot follow orders, you are out of
his pack. Be smart; make yourself his ‘numbers guy’, or
‘the best guy to sell the product’. Make yourself part of his
crew, doing the best you can do, and the respect that your
inner Alpha requires will fall in to place.

30. Invest In People and ‘Buy In’
All Alpha’s need a pack, and who better to invest in than
the people you care about? Learn about the people that you
spend time with. Learn what makes them tick and help
them to become the best they can be. When you invest in
people with your time and energy, not use them, you are
more likely to generate friendships and loyalty.
Connections like these are invaluable, even for an Alpha
personality, and with the right crew of people helping you
get what you want done, you can change worlds.

31. Don’t be ‘the Funny Guy’
Everyone knows who he is; the Funny Guy is making lots
of jokes, doesn’t mind being laughed at, and many times,
comes off as if they are trying too hard. While an Alpha is
confident and social able enough to be funny, his
motivation isn’t entertaining the people around him; that’s
the job for the ‘funny guy’.

32. Let Your Body do the Talking
While body language isn’t the most important thing to
becoming an Alpha, it certainly plays a part. On a primal
level, humans recognize certain mannerisms as
domineering or maybe even aggressive. These types of
symbolisms are different, culture to culture, but it’s
important to be aware of these types of mannerisms, what
they mean when you do them to someone else, or how to
react when someone does them to you.
In wild dogs and wolves, direct eye control for long
periods of time is considering a challenge to ones station
in the pack. The more submissive of the two will break
eye contact and look away, and if it doesn’t happen fast
enough, there very likely could be a physical altercation to
follow.
Not quite as serious, but a botched handshake can make
people feel the same way. A firm handshake, straight on
with both hands relatively vertical is a respectful
handshake to most. By altering her hand slightly vertical,
to where your hand would be on top can be considered
overly aggressive and an unnecessary show of dominance
in a meeting with other people. It’s important to keep your
body language calm, confident, and collected, without
coming off like a ‘jerk’ or that you are trying to assert your
dominance over the people around you.

33. Remain cool
Change is bound to be shocking, and one mistake that nice
guys commit in their quest to becoming alphas is
unleashing the crude beast that doesn’t really care about
the people around them. They, effectively, become a ‘Jerk’
person making the transition to full on Alpha, and many
guys don’t know how to get out of that stage.
There’s nothing wrong with you; you are an awesome guy.
Instead of changing your entire personality, just be
yourself…only a little more assertive. Every guy has the
potential to be an Alpha. Work on facing your fears, assert
your control of your life and the situations around you, and
you’ll find that your life comes together much easier and
cleaner than you ever could have expected. In fact, the fact
that women are more attracted to guys that ‘have it
together’ is just a bonus, so you’ll find that you may have
women perusing you instead of you chasing after them.

34. Don’t Over-Plan
It’s a good idea to have a general idea of what you want to
do. A ‘Five Year Plan’ of where you want to be with your
career or your finances is not only a good idea, it’s
encouraged. Goals are a good thing, especially if you find
you can stay motivated to fulfill them.
However, there comes a time when planning can have
negative effects on your ability to interact with people.
When you have everything planned, you tend to go through
life scripted. When your life is scripted, you’ll find
opportunities to present what you have rehearsed and this
can make you look desperate. While life can be stage, it
certainly isn’t a scripted play, and when you find yourself
wrapped up in your plans, you not only stop living, but you
stop being able to adapt to the inevitable curve balls life
throws at you.

36. Chapter 4: How to Live Life on
Your Terms
Focus Yourself and Strike
Make your life have meaning. Know what is most
important to you, then start working towards that goal.
Power with no direction is just a waste, so it’s important
to focus your drive on the things you desire most and the
clearest way to get your goals accomplished. This doesn’t
mean be overly impulsive; this just means be smart. Think
of yourself as a predator on the hunt. You have to find
food, the best places to get the kill, where fresh water is,
and how he’s going to get his pack to where they need to
go. It takes intelligence and planning to be able to
accomplish these things, and a good Alpha is focused
enough to get these tasks accomplished without getting
distracted by unimportant tasks.
Failure to have purpose mays it easy for others to sway
you, possibly in directions you don’t want to be swayed,
and ultimately affect your status. Don’t let life just
‘happen to you’; live it in such a way you can be prepared
for anything and can have control over the situation. This
is the makings for leaders, and people follow those you
are in control and driven.

37. Pushing Your Physical Limits
In the animal kingdom, the Alpha male is the strongest,
fiercest, and ready to take on the world. If he was fat or
lazy, a wandering lone male may just come and take over
his pack. It’s in the Alphas best interest to take care of his
body, be prepared for the challenges that come his way.
Being physically fit ensures that his life will be as long
and fulfilled as possible.
In the wild, males have to be physically fit and attractive
to attract a suitable mate. Birds are colored in certain
ways to draw the attention of the females of their species;
some animals specialize in a specific animal type of dance
to encourage females mate with them. Keeping your body
fine-tuned, lean, and strong is the human way of being
‘brightly colored’, so if you want to appeal to the opposite
sex, you have to exercise and take care of your body. If
you want to be the best, to be the Alpha, you can’t just do
the bare minimum either. Betas do ‘beta’ workouts; you
want to push your limits to make yourself in to an Alpha.
You have to go above and beyond to make sure that your
body is strong and is physically the best it can be. Don’t
hurt yourself; you don’t have anything to prove while you
are trying to get your body in its best physical condition.

38. ‘You are what you eat.’
Your diet has a profound effect on your ability to unleash
the Alpha male in you. Food has a direct result on the
levels of fat in your body, how much energy you have, and
even the amount and types of hormones your body
releases. Testosterone, as one such hormone, has a direct
effect on your behavioral characteristics that society
classifies as ‘male’. If you have low testosterone, you may
find that it affects your sex drive, your energy levels, and
how you approach challenging or difficult situations.
Eat food that is smart for your body, that fuels it to being
the best machine it can possibly be. If you want to
maintain the Alpha body, eat like an Alpha male with a
varied diet of veggies, quality meats, eggs, nuts, and fruits.
Make it easy for your body to stay healthy and give you the
fuel to lead the pack.

39. Catch your Zzzzzzs
Lack of sleep effects every aspect of your life. It affects
your ability to stay calm in difficult situations, makes
being able to concentrate difficult, and can even make
maintain your physical form impossible.
Sleep is how our body helps repair worn out body tissue,
fight infection, and helps our brain reset for the day ahead.
A healthy sleep schedule will help you face your every
day challenges stronger and with greater determination.

40. Watch your Words
Think before you speak. An Alpha is control of the world
around him, and that includes not only what he does, but
what he says. ‘Like’, ‘Ummm’, and ‘Ahhhh’ make you
sound unsure of yourself when communicate with others.
There doesn’t have to be a long pause before you say a
sentence, (you don’t want to come off as a ‘slow’ or
incompetent), but avoiding blurting out the first thing that
comes to mind makes you not only look impulsive (not in a
good way!), but flustered and uncollected.
Your voice should be solid, unwavering, and firm. It
should be an even tone, slightly low so that people have to
focus on the words you are saying, but not so low that the
people you are talking to can’t hear you. Speak clearly,
avoid mumbling, and use diction when you speak.
Speaking clearly and confidently helps you to sound
intelligent, while giving off the impression of authority.
Avoid using praises like “You know what I mean?” This
makes you seem as if you are looking for approval. You
aren’t weak, and you are confident enough in your
opinions to be able to present them clearly and
respectfully without seeking approval from the people
around you.

41. Eye Contact
While you don’t want your gaze to be challenging, it’s
hard to establish a relationship, let alone trust, with
someone who won’t look you in the eyes. Your eyes
should show assertiveness and confidence without making
the person you are talking to uncomfortable. Stay engaged
in your conversation; don’t get distracted by small things
that are unimportant to what you are doing or talking
about. The person you are talking to should know that they
have your full attention, and by looking around or
consistent blinking it makes you appear as if something is
wrong.

42. Desire Dominance
An Alpha doesn’t complain about his position. He
understands that there are certain responsibilities that
come along with the position that other people in the pack
won’t see or ever have to deal with. Remember, your
success is largely dependent on your confidence and your
desire to not only be the leader of your group, but your
attitude towards your responsibilities as the Alpha. You
shouldn’t be worried that people may not recognize or
appreciate your efforts. In fact, you should expect this and
should remind yourself that you are just doing your job.

43. Invest in Looking Great
Investing in your looks doesn’t mean that you have to have
all of the latest fashions. It does mean that you should
maintain good hygiene, keep your clothes well taken care
of, ensure they all fit properly, and that you look your best
during most occasions. The facts are simple: women are
initially attracted to men that are physically appealing. Not
only are attractive people more pleasant to look at, but
subconsciously, we are driven to mate with people we
feel will produce attractive offspring. As an Alpha, your
appearance is important and it’s important to invest a
reasonable amount of time, funds, and energy in to
presenting yourself the best way possible.

45. Chapter 5: Alphas and Career
Alphas excel in many industries under many different
types of job positions. Some may be good with sales,
excellent business owners, or even hands on ‘blue collar’
workers in a construction type of field. So, how can you
use your ‘Alpha Skills’ to help you in your career? What
sort of Alpha tendencies can an Alpha use to apply to his
work life and help him excel in to a leadership role?

46. Consistency
An Alpha is strong, goal oriented, and determined. They
are almost like the ground we stand on, strong and
steadfast, unwavering in their resolve. No one wants to
follow someone who is always changing their mind.
Alphas provide structure and security, and for many
people, the unknown of an indecisive person can make
them hard to not only follow, but recognize in a leadership
role. For people to follow you, you must be consistent in
decisions, emotions, and other aspects of your life. People
should know what is acceptable and what is not
acceptable to you without pushing your boundaries.

47. Confidence
If you are the ‘boss’, your employees and the people that
interact with your business will see you as that work
place’s Alpha by default. Anyone who comes to your
premises or interacts with you at work sees you as
someone who can lead a group successfully. The Alpha
male’s confidence is what drives him towards success in
whatever he does; failure is not an option and it shows in
the way that he runs his business. Bringing this stubborn
and determined mindset will force you to quit second-
guessing your decisions or intentions and encourage the
confidence to command respect from everyone around
you. With confidence comes the unrivalled will to win at
whatever you set your eyes on, and this will put you far in
any career.
Alphas know that everything in your life doesn’t happen
by chance. Alphas make it happen and his confidence is
boosted by his determined attitude and positive way of
thinking.

48. Desire to Protect
As a leader, you don’t look for opportunities to exploit
your followers. On the contrary, you go out of your way to
make everyone in your sphere of influence a better person
and to reassure them that everything is under control.
Strong leaders do this to attract respect and loyalty from
the people around them. Your Alpha induced protective
instincts should drive you to look after the people under
you, and make sure that their situation is as good as it can
possibly be to create the strong team (or pack!) around.

49. Keep Your Ego in Check
When you are a leader, it’s important to understand your
role in the work place. An Alpha can collect information,
thoughts, and desires from everyone in the work
environment, make decisions, and move forward as a
whole. Everyone won’t like your style, and that’s okay. If
you’ve laid the ground work of respect, loyalty, honesty,
and fairness your pack will move forward with you, even
if they don’t like everything you do.
Likewise, it’s important to not feel threatened if someone
is better at something than you. As an Alpha in the work
place, use those peoples talents to your advantage, to make
the entire work team better than it was before.

50. Dependable
If you say you are going to do something, be sure that you
follow through with the words you said. As an Alpha
leader, people must have confidence in you. Without that
confidence, they won’t trust you to help them with their
problems or trust you enough to follow you in to the
unknown.

51. Quick Tips
Avoid being arrogant. Confident is one thing, maybe even
a little cocky, but an overall arrogant personality will turn
people off and make them not want to interact with you.
Don’t brag. It’s great that you hit a home run, or won an
award at work. You don’t, however, need to tell everyone
about the accomplishments you’ve done. Find the right
time to slip it in to conversation without seeming like you
are being a braggart.
Alphas aren’t needy, so when you ask for something make
sure you give clear, concise details as to what you expect
and by when. You don’t need to beg or whine; there’s no
need. You have the best pack, and you trust them to get the
project you’ve entrusted to them done the right way the
first time.
As an Alpha, you like yourself. Putting yourself down
makes you look as if you are ‘fishing for compliments’,
and that makes you appear desperate. Likewise, putting
other people around you down only makes you look small,
weak, and like a bully.
Perfectionism isn’t for the Alpha in the work place. It
won’t ever be perfect, not even with a million hours
invested. Make sure it looks good, represents you, the

52. employees, and the business well, and them move on to the
next project.
If you want to survive as the Alpha, you have to be
prepared to evolve for the good of your pack. This means
that stubborn mentalities don’t help Alphas that are in a
leadership position.
Don’t be cruel. Being ruthless and without mercy will
make the pack afraid of you. Fear is not respect.
Don’t be apologetic. This isn’t to say that you shouldn’t
apologize when you are wrong (and it will happen!), but
apologizing over and over again, or for events that are out
of your control any makes you appear weak.
The confidence of an Alpha doesn’t mean that he should
be possessive of people, relationships, or even work
duties. Be prepared to adapt and let people help you; think
of it like the cubs trying to show off their latest kill.

54. Chapter 6: Women and the
Alpha Male
It’s only natural to want to be attractive to members of the
opposite sex. As a man, it’s logical that you’ll want to
have a woman that you enjoy by your side. In the animal
kingdom, the Alpha in a group of animals has first pick
(and sometimes the only pick) of the women in the area.
Give yourself first pick, too, with these tactics:

55. Keep Your Cool
Rejection is part of the dating game; it doesn’t matter how
managing you are, there will be women that are not
attracted to you. Keep your reputation in tact by taking
reject with grace and keeping your cool while you let the
information soak in. After all, there are no hard feelings.
Her loss, right?

56. Be Yourself
If you are in to a certain TV show or hobby, don’t hide that
to try to attract women. In fact, it’s best to be your best
version of yourself when you are interacting with women.
Women find different things sexy in different men; if you
are busy trying to be someone else, you may find that you
hide all the things about yourself from the woman you are
trying to impress that she might actually like!

57. Absence Makes the Heart Grow
Fonder
Make yourself scarce after the first date. Scarcity creates
value, and if you wait a small amount of time after the last
time you saw each other, you create anticipation. With a
little bit time between meetings, the woman you are seeing
just might be more excited about ‘the next time’ simply
because there has been a build up of time between
exchanges.

58. Add Some Mystery
Women like to be chased as well as do some of the
chasing. Dating is a balance between encounters,
conversations, and engagements all designed to peek your
interest and generate momentum. However, if you tell her
your entire life story on the first date, what else is there to
discover? What’s the point in another outing if they know
everything already? Just like you like a little challenge in
the woman you are trying to pursue, create a little tension
of your own. This doesn’t mean being undependable or
dishonest, though.

59. Don’t be Needy
No one wants someone whining at their heels all the time.
Just like men, women want their space, too. Give her
space to do the things she likes to do with the people she
likes to do them with. There’s no need to be around her all
the time; you should be confident about your position in
her thoughts to let her take time for herself in her life
without you guilting her in to spending every moment with
you.

60. Chapter 7: Affirmations
Our thoughts are the creators of our realities. We all have
an idea that we often become what we constantly think
about. This means that if you have confidence issues, you
probably have negative thoughts about your confidence.
For instance, you might be the kind of person who dreads
the idea of speaking to a group of people even if you know
all of them. Some people don’t even have the courage to
talk in family meetings because they don’t have the
courage to really talk. In simple terms, their confidence is
highly lacking. In such cases, you tell yourself that you
cannot talk to people for various reasons and even try to
justify your point of view even when you know that you
deeply want to talk. The negative self talk will probably
affect the way you think about your skills, your looks, your
height, your health and your thoughts such that you end up
second guessing everything you do. In such cases, taking
risks is usually out of the question because you don’t want
to fail or you simply don’t want to be seen trying doing
something. The truth is, when you don’t try something
risky, you really can never do anything for yourself
because you will always be thinking that you are not good
enough. The negative self talk can be described as a form
of affirmation only that you are now affirming negative
stuff in your life. As I already mentioned, our thoughts
make our reality; when you are constantly thinking of how

61. inadequate you are or how you don’t look good enough,
you will only be settling for less than what is best for you
because you don’t have the confidence that you can
actually get it right. The best remedy for the effects of
negative self-talk is to start affirming yourself with
positive things that help in boosting your confidence. The
reasoning behind affirmations is that you have to get to a
point of believing what you affirm yourself.
Our minds are pretty much complicated in that our
intentions are not always our actions. For instance, even if
you don’t want to think negatively, our culture is so
riddled with negativity from all over such that a large
proportion of what we think about is negative. Thinking
negatively comes more naturally than thinking positively
thanks to the negativity portrayed by the media,
advertising, parents and everyone around us. For instance,
the dramas of our past that have negativity in them that
make us have more of negative thoughts. These in turn
make us attract more unwanted or undesirable outcomes in
our lives making us unhappy and with damaged
confidence.
The thing is, when we think, we are telling the universe
what we want in our lives; it doesn’t matter whether you
are thinking negatively or positively. When we think we
are defeated, we are telling the universe that we cannot be

62. good, which means that it will respond with manifesting
something that is directly related to us not being good
enough. The manifestation may be in form of never getting
a promotion, never finding opportunities to make money or
never finding an avenue for us to explore what we really
want for our lives. So if you wake up to morning news
only to find disasters, you might probably have a hard time
finding something really worth thinking positively about.
Since your subconscious mind is often the greatest culprit
of thinking negatively even when we want to see ourselves
from a positive light, we have to change the way it
perceives life so that we can actually start thinking
positively subconsciously. In this case, when you are
affirming yourself, you could describe it as tuning to your
positive thought radio in your mind so that you can start
thinking of yourself as a powerful and confidence filled
individual who has everything in his or her control.
When you go through any experience, you are likely to
think in a particular way. This in turn creates neural
pathways in your brain such that when you are faced with
a similar situation, you will want to just refer to the
pathway so that you respond in the same manner you
responded in the past; this is where the problem of
subjective thinking comes in! We simply find ourselves
trapped by our minds because we have the same old habits
and responses. Our mind wants to confirm that what we
perceived of that situation is the truth. If you have

63. confidence issues, you will find yourself looking for
opportunities to justify why you cannot approach your
dream women, why you cannot pass exams, why you
cannot apply for a job in certain companies, why you
cannot go into business and why you have to continue
working for a certain organization despite not finding it
fulfilling. You will also be looking for faults in your
physical appearance, height, gender, race, academic
credentials and other aspects of life such that you end up
not unleashing the power within you of someone who is
confident because you have already told yourself that you
don’t have what it takes to be the one. You will even have
a problem speaking before a group of people because your
subconscious mind is always telling you to look at how the
audience seems disinterested in whatever you are talking
about.
To understand affirmations much better, let’s discuss our
subjective thinking a little further.

64. Our subjective reality
Each one of us perceives life differently; everything we do
or see is based on every person’s unique subjective
perceptions about life. These perceptions are deeply
rooted in our subconscious mind such that we hardly even
notice whether we are actually thinking negatively about
something. Normally, we usually look for opportunities to
affirm or confirm our perceptions of the world, which
means that each person will see and think differently about
a certain event, occurrence or experience.
When the perceptions are often skewed towards our
negativity, we always look for bad things about the world
around us in order to “confirm” or reaffirm our beliefs.
Positive affirmations are designed to get into the
subconscious mind in order to change the focus from the
negatives to the positives. In this case, you will no longer
be looking for ways of “confirming” your negative
perceptions towards life but looking for ways of
confirming your positive belief or perceptions towards
life.
Obviously, this is easier said than done because you
simply are not going to plug and play new perceptions into
your subconscious mind. In any case, these negative
perceptions or views of life didn’t just become engrained
in your subconscious mind in just one day; it took lots of
time and “practice” to define the person you currently are.

65. So, if you are to transform to be a positive thinker with no
negative self talk that makes you have confidence issues,
you MUST be consistent in your quest to consciously think
positively about yourself and life in general so that you
can slowly engrain that in your subconscious mind.
In this case, the more you repeat positive affirmations, the
more they start becoming part of your reality because your
subconscious mind will start “remembering” them more
often just to prove to you that you should continue
believing in them! In this case, you will be changing your
subjective thinking, which is currently negative, to a
positive thinking. As Albert Einstein put it:
This simple quote sums up the goal of affirmations; if we
are to change our current subjective reality, we have to
change the thoughts that occupy our subconscious mind.
The reasoning is simple, if when you are successful about
something, you think of it differently as compared to when
you are doing averagely about it. In simple terms, when
you have attained a goal or anything in life, it no longer
makes you scared about it because your subconscious
mind already believes that you have conquered that
obstacle. Think of the time when you were in pre-school;
you probably thought differently from how you think now.
Although you could say that you have grown up, the
growing process is part of the perceptions change that I am

66. talking about; you have changed your perceptions about
certain aspects of life.
Our thought patterns are largely influenced by our family
upbringing, life experiences, social setting, education, our
experiences and those of others and many other factors.
These describe our subjective reality. So, if you are poor,
you probably think like a poor person because that is the
subjective reality you have taught yourself to believe. This
is unlike someone who is rich since he or she thinks like a
rich person. So if you are to become rich, you must think
like a rich person. I know that it is farfetched to start
thinking as someone who is very different from the person
you really are currently. However, with affirmations, you
can start transforming your thought patterns so that you can
start thinking as someone who already has what you are
desiring. Coming back to building confidence using
affirmations, your goal is to transform your thought
patterns so that you can actually start believing everything
you say. It even gets to a point of not even needing the
affirmations because the personality of being confident has
already been built in you.
By deliberately changing your thoughts over time, you start
creating new neural pathways so that you can have new
thought processes. In this case, when presented with
challenges, you will not be referring to your ways of
thinking, which were negative but instead think of your
new ways of thinking, which are positive.

67. Your mind cannot filter between positive and negative
thoughts. Actually, it also doesn’t differentiate between
imaginary and real situations. With affirmations (positive
or negative, deliberate or subconscious), you are feeding
your mind with stuff that depicts your desired reality. The
more you do it, the more your mind starts believing it. The
more you believe that, the more your mind will always be
trying to match your inner believes with the outer reality.
When we recreate our inner scenario through affirmations,
we start seeing opportunities that we never saw before
when our minds were preoccupied with negatives. That’s
the role of affirmations!
So, how do you get to a point of changing that negative
self-talk so that you can have positive self talk, with
respect to your confidence? Let’s first understand how
affirmations work so that you can even start creating your
custom affirmations to deal with your unique situations in
life.

68. How affirmations work
When you go through a relationship problem because you
believe that your partner was wrong, you are bound to
start thinking that all men/women are bad. These become
engrained in your mind such that you always see men or
women as bad. Whenever you think that “men/women are
bad or are the same”, you will always be trying to prove
yourself right, which means that you will probably be
attracting men or women that match your description of
bad men/women just to confirm your belief.
Likewise, when you think that I am born to be rich, you
will always be looking for opportunities to confirm that
you are going to be rich. For instance, when I was about
10 years, my cousin made a comment that I still remember
to date; he said that he sees me growing up to be a filthy
rich person driving a convertible Mercedes Benz. I simply
believed it and since then, I can confidently say that I am
on track to having a Mercedes Benz. Whenever I
remember that I am going to drive a Mercedes Benz one
day, I am affirming my belief that I am bound to be rich!
That’s how affirmations work! They make you believe
whatever you tell yourself or someone says about you
simply because you believe in them.
In another classic example, I recently went on a weekend
getaway with my girlfriend in a nice beach hotel. None of
us knew how to swim so we were afraid of swimming in

69. the ocean and swimming in the large swimming pool. On
our last day, we made affirmations that we were going to
learn how to float in water and or at least end our water
phobia. So we forced ourselves to swim in the swimming
pool despite not having anyone to train us. Within 3 hours
of constant trials and affirmations, we were able to
actually start swimming. Although we definitely are not
Olympic swimmers, we certainly don’t have the phobia
we had thanks to our affirmations that we will learn how
to swim that day! We kept telling ourselves that we could
do it until we ultimately started doing it! Before that, we
were telling ourselves that we cannot swim or cannot even
fathom the idea of being in the water! Through
affirmations, we changed our perceptions about
swimming, which in turn changed the way we viewed
swimming and the ultimate act of swimming.
Three things come up in this explanation:
#1 You must say them regularly and relentlessly.
#2 You must believe them
#3 If you want desirable outcomes, you must have positive
affirmations.
Perhaps I should define what positive affirmations are so
that you get a grasp of what exactly they describe. Positive
affirmations are simply positive statements, which you
repeat over and over until your subconscious mind starts

70. believing them such that your mindset about whatever
issue you were affirming about changes. In this case, your
subconscious mind starts to look for opportunities to
confirm what you believe! Your thoughts and words
actually program your mindset in the same manner that
scripts and commands program a computer. When you use
affirmations properly, consciously and with the right
intent, you will make your subconscious mind to change
your attitudes, habits, reactions and behavior to match that
which you want to be. If you want to boost your
confidence, you should affirm yourself strongly how
confident you are so that you can actually start believing it.
Your words or thoughts are powerful in that they create
your reality.
With the impressive manner in which affirmations work,
you need to understand how to create nice affirmations for
anything including love and relationships, weight loss,
health, confidence and self-esteem etc.

71. How to create good affirmations
You really won’t create the right affirmations if you don’t
know how to create them in the first place. So, I have
compiled a list of do’s and don’ts of how to create
powerful affirmations that will transform your life forever.
#Ensure that your affirmations are in the present; you don’t
want to be constantly waiting for the future to come! In this
case, don’t say I will be confident when I go to the
interview. Instead, say “I am confident with every aspect
of my life” or “I am confident about today’s interview”.
# Use the word “choose” in your affirmations. The word
“choose” denotes to your mind that you are making a
conscious decision to be whatever you want to be. In this
case, you can say something like “I choose to be confident
in every aspect of my life”.
#Always stay positive. Your subconscious mind won’t
differentiate between what you want and what you don’t
want. So instead of saying what you don’t want, say what
you want. The law of focus and growth takes effect in this
situation since what you focus on manifests. In this case,
don’t say you don’t want to freak out when you stand
before an audience. Instead, describe how your confidence
level is so high such that you cannot wait to present before
the audience.
# Repeat! Repeat! Repeat. Don’t get tired of repeating

72. your affirmations as this is the only way they can stick into
your subconscious mind such that you start believing what
you say. You can start with repeating them for at least 20
times in the morning and 20 times in the evening; actually,
the more the better! You should also write them down for
at least 20 times daily. Writing is an easier way of
learning that is even more effective than reciting. As a rule
of thumb, repeat the affirmations until you start getting
results so don’t give up!
#Use the mirror technique. We sometimes don’t believe
some of the things we usually say to ourselves when we
want to do them. Mirrors are a great way of bolstering self
confidence since you can affirm whatever you want to
happen in your life as you look at your reflection in the
mirror. Stare keenly at your reflection in the mirror and
repeat the affirmations as many times as possible since
this helps to connect with the subconscious mind.
#Use the card technique to remember and recite
affirmations. If you want to remember affirmations
wherever you go, you can write down all affirmations in a
pocket card so that you can affirm yourself wherever you
are.
#Keep your affirmations short. A single sentence
affirmation is good enough. Don’t have paragraphs
affirmations!
#Ensure that you are aware of every word you say to

73. yourself.
#Say the affirmations when you are calm and make sure
that you can hear them in your subconscious mind.
#Have 100% faith in whatever you are affirming. Failing
to believe that whatever you are affirming is true means
that you have negative self-talk, which will make you not
to manifest whatever you want. In any case, the negative
self-talk will always push you to look for opportunities to
justify why you cannot believe what you are saying!
Now that you understand everything about affirmations and
how to create, let’s take a look at a few affirmations you
can start using today to transform your confidence to new
heights.

74. 30 self-confidence affirmations that
will transform your life
#1 I radiate beauty, charm and grace.
#2 My confidence level is at its highest now that I
acknowledge my self-worth.
#3 Many people want to emulate my soaring confidence
level.
#4 I am very confident and stand up for myself.
#5 I have infinite ability to conquer my fears and
challenges.
#6 I have all the qualities I succeed in everything I do.
#7 I am always oozing of creative ideas that transform my
life with each passing day.
#8 I am extremely talented and will start using my talents
today to make a difference in my life and in the lives of
others.
#9 I am an architect/author of my life; everything I build is
courtesy of my creative mind and my vast experience.
#10 People and businesses always expect me to offer a
solution for their needs.
#11 My future is a clear copy of what I am envisioning
now.

75. #12 Whenever I breath, I choose to inhale confidence and
exhale all timidity.
#13 I love being around new people every day since they
challenge me to become better.
#14 Being around strangers unleashes my boldness and
natural enthusiasm.
#15 I look forward to change because I can adapt easily to
the changing situations.
#16 I live in the present and exude unrivalled confidence
about the future.
#17 I am a problem solver; I always find the best solutions
to people’s problems.
#18 I deserve the best in life and release any need for
suffering and mystery.
#19 I love and accept myself unconditionally.
#20 I am fully satisfied with my uniqueness.
#21 I become more confident with myself each day.
#22 I choose to go ahead with the plan in spite of my fear.
#23 I attract friends with ease because I am fun to be
around.
#24 I choose to be open to try new things because I am not
afraid of change.

76. #25 I am successful right now.
#26 I am very confident, smart and able
#27 I am always attracting people who bring out the best
in me.
#28 I love the person I have become.
#29 I let go of all negative thoughts and feelings about
myself.
#30 I am always discovering the great qualities I have.
Repeating the above affirmations daily and creating other
affirmations that revolve around boosting your self-
confidence will certainly transform your life. You might
also want to boost your ability to focus on the positive
thoughts each day by combining affirmations with
meditation and self-hypnosis. These two are powerful
ways through which you can deal with some of the
challenges that come with not finding a perfect way of
focusing on the affirmations. If you find negative thoughts
are often cropping up, you should blend the affirmations
with meditation and self-hypnosis since these two help in
building focus.