The document provides advice for businesses on how to effectively use social media. It suggests that being too formal and focused on sales pitches will not attract attention from users. Instead, businesses need to loosen up, have fun with their posts, and connect with users on a more personal level. By showing their personality and that they are someone people would want to hang out with, businesses can generate more love and attention on social media, which will ultimately help increase their return on investment.

1. Your SERIUZ business wants to get on social media.

2. You open accounts and start by being corporate and polite, FTW.

3. Surprisingly, no one pays attention, PROLLY because you are a NOOB!

4. Worse, no one gives a SHIZ about your carefully articulated brand values or your clever sales pitches, FTL.

5. When you FB or tweet, you might as well be TROLLIN’ because “GIVE ME $$$$$$$, MOFO!” is all that users hear.

6. To your online community, you look like a selfish, obnoxious, corporate, robot DOUCHE... who drools.

7. They unfriend, unfollow and unlike you. How can this be happening to you, FML? Rejection is expensive.

8. It’s simple: your professionalism has you in a choke hold. Your corporate attire is strangling your business. RLY.

9. If you were to be yourself, loosen up, have fun, LOL and wear your tie on your head, you’d be a lot more popular.

10. You’d be the guy that people wanted to hang with. You’d be the guy that people cared about, H8TRS be gone!

11. Then you’d be the cool guy that people liked and trusted enough to do business with, OMFG!

12. On social media, love and your bottom line are intertwined. Love generates ROI. So wear your tie on your head, ROCKSTAR, K THX BAI!