Resolutions Too: More Tips for Success; Thinking S.M.A.R.T.
1. Resolutions Too: More Tips for Success; Thinking
S.M.A.R.T.
It’s now a week into the new year and
this is when we usually start to see the first chinks in the armor of our new
resolutions–those promises to ourselves to make a positive change in our life–
start to show up. And all I can say so far is, this year not so much, so Wow! I am
absolutely delighted that so many people are following the tips I’ve posted and
are making the commitment to try my system and make 2013 the year of success.
And…
I’ve received a lot of great comments–please keep them coming– and a lot of
excellent questions, particularly around the concept of process and choosing
goals that are realistic and doable rather than too big and overwhelming. So this
edition is dedicated to helping you with that part of it all. In short, what you need to
do is set goals that are S.M.A.R.T. , a tried and true acronym from NLP
(Neuro-Linguistic Programming), with some additional and exclusive Dr. John
extras. It’s simple and very powerful.
SETTING S.M.A.R.T. GOALS
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2. S– Specific & Simple
Simple– It’s as simple as that. Set goals that are specific and simple. Let’s take
weight loss, by far the number one resolution and usually the one with an equally
high high failure rate. Many people simply say, ”I’m going to lose weight this
year.” That’s great, but what does it mean? Remember that most of our
behaviors are governed by the subconscious mind; and the subconscious mind
does not work with generalities, nor does it understand past or future tense; it only
knows now. And it’s only about 3 years old so anything too complex gets lost in
the translation. In other words, “I’m going to lose weight this year” means very
little to your subconscious mind.
Specific– A better way to express this would be, “I am losing 21 pounds this
year,” or, perhaps, “I’m releasing enough weight so that when I stand on the
scale I see _ _ _ and that feels wonderful.” Notice that both these goals are stated
specifically and also in the present tense. Now you’re giving your subconscious
computer something to work with! And an extra hint– if you are losing weight, and
you have a specific number in mind, choose the next higher or lower odd number
e.g., say you want to get down to 150#. Use 151 or 149 when you state it, think
about it and visualize it. The subconscious likes to work with odd numbers–I don’t
know why, but it does.
Notice too, that these very simply stated goals are very easy to visualize. You can
easily “see” yourself looking down at the scale and seeing that number.
Simplicity is also important because when you are doing your daily exercises (I
presented them last time) to first create the image and then imagine and “feel”
yourself already there, the more simple and compelling the image, the more
powerfully it “speaks” to the subconscious, a definite requirement in engaging the
mind/body energy dynamic. This is a subject that is a key part of the Synthesis
process and outlined in much more detail in The Synthesis
Effect. http:thesynthesiseffect.com
M– Measurable & Meaningful (to you)
Measurable– your goal must be something you can measure. Again, using the
weight loss example; “I am going to lose the weight I need and want to lose.” is
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3. too vague. The more specific and measurable you can make it, the better. And to
reiterate a point I’ve made before, it must be meaningful to you. If you’re making
a decision to change your life for the sake of someone else, or because someone
thinks you will be the better for it, and not for yourself because you want it for
YOU, then success isn’t very likely. For those of you familiar with The Synthesis
Effect, I’ll remind you of the story of my client Tim, the law student who came to
see for help passing the Bar Exam, but who really wanted to be a chef. I cannot
think of a better example than that to illustrate this point.
A– Achievable, All Areas of Your Life, Act as if…
Achievable– Simply stated, your goals must be achievable; if you are setting out to
accomplish something that you do not have the capacity or aptitude for, or you
want something that requires training or education or experience you don’t
currently have, I guarantee that you will not suddenly be tapped on the head with
a magic wand and poof, you have arrived. It won’t happen. This may seem like
common sense, and it is, but you’d be amazed at how many people try to come in
to see me in the clinic with goals that, given their current situation, are simply
not achievable. If that is the case, a better starting point or resolution would
probably be to start working on getting whatever it is you need, e.g., more training
or experience, in order to then make the larger goal actually achievable.
All areas– Think about how achieving your goal will affect your life in all areas.
Using our weight loss example: I am losing those 19 pounds I need to take off. As
a result of that I look better, I feel better and have more physical energy, I get to
buy those new clothes I want– how fun, I am healthier and in better physical,
emotional and spiritual balance, I am more attractive to my partner or potential
partners, sexier, etc, etc…
Acting as if– Is a hugely powerful tool in helping the subconscious create your new
reality from your image. It adds physical and emotional energy to your desire and
vision and reinforces the choices you need to make on a daily basis in order to
work the process that you are embracing as you travel toward your new you. So,
act as if you are already there as much and as often as possible. It will become
more and more natural, fun, comfortable and automatic, and soon– you will be
there!
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4. R– Realistic & Responsible (Ecological)
Realistic– Another way to describe achievable, but it also adds another dimension.
Let’s say you want to lose 40 pounds, oops, I mean 39 pounds. It isn’t going to
happen in 2 months, at least not in a healthy sustainable way. I recently worked
with a client who lost 120 pounds after only 3 sessions. What that means is that it
took him three sessions to create the mind-set to get him on the path toward
losing the weight, but it took him 8 months to actually lose it. So during our work
together we set realistic goals to get him there– eat healthy, exercise 5-6 days a
week, focus on losing about 7-9 pounds a month and be very kind to yourself, etc.
In reality he beat that number, but it was never about hitting the number; what
really helped him and hundreds of folks I’ve helped accomplish successful and
sustained weight loss was establishing the mindset for making kind choices for the
body and the psyche that are very realistic. Both my clinical program and the
download version, Winning the Weighting
Game, http://drjohnmcgrail.com/shop/weight-control are based upon creating this
dynamic, because in short it works! So, be realistic and very kind to yourself.
Responsible– Is simple. Your goal should not only benefit you, but in some way
also allow your success to serve the greater good of all. Not to beat a dead horse
here, but using weight loss yet again, when you shed that 29 pounds, you
obviously serve your own benefit, but you also serve the greater good. With your
new increased energy and self esteem, you become a better worker, mate,
parent, friend, and will by example you become a powerful role model for others,
so everyone benefits from your success. That’s ecological– a very cool feeling!
T– Timed & Toward what you want
Timing– Is everything in life, and, of course, timing is hugely important in making
changes in your life. It’s important to set (realistic) time frames for realizing your
goals– “I am releasing that 17 pounds I need and want to lose; I am starting NOW
(present time) and I am finished by June 15th. (Notice that while this is a specific
time frame, it’s also very realistic. Losing 1-2 pounds a week is considered a
healthy and sustainable rate. If I start on January 1, then June 15th (odd number,
) ) gives me about 20 weeks, so I’ve built in some nice wiggle room to be
human– and not some hyper-metabolic, calorie-burning machine– and a very
realistic and achievable time frame.
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5. Toward what you want– Simply means that your success rate will increase
dramatically when you begin to focus on where you are heading rather than where
you are leaving. Another way to say this is not to focus on getting away from the
“painful” e.g. overweight condition you want to get out of, but rather the new,
sleeker, more energized, more successful, happier you that you are heading
toward. This is another reason I strongly recommend visualizing your final result
everyday; it helps you in moving toward your goal rather than away from your
pain, and this creates a much much more powerful energy, all the while, of
course, keeping your mind focused on the process. Remember, it’s always,
always a process, so let that be your goal– having an eye on the final, delicious
prize while embracing the process of moving toward that prize. It’s an unbeatable
dynamic!
Now You’re Acting S.M.A.R.T.
So there you have it; a little more depth into how to make your goals both
S.M.A.R.T. and your reality! And they are not so much New Years resolutions as
they are New You resolutions.
Until next time, please keep it up, and please keep your comments and questions
coming. If there is an area around self improvement and self empowerment you’d
like to ask about or read about, let me know. I am happy to provide as much
information as I can to help you make your life the joyful, abundant process you
want and deserve it to be; achieving The Synthesis Effect, and that’s what it’s all
about.
Blessings,
Resolutions Too: More Tips for Success; Thinking S.M.A.R.T.
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