Choices in life - deal with the consequences of your choices

1. Choices Consequences
What motivates you to make various choices in life?
Are our choices permanent?
What is God’s role in all these choices?
Contributed by:
Dr. Felicia Chang (Writing Team)
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2. Just attended a patient’s wake service a few days ago. This
patient was special to me as I regarded him as a dear friend
although I knew him only for about three months. What
inspired me was the fact that he chose to leave his home
country and decided to stay put in ours and contributed
tremendously in charitable works and inspired many to
follow in his footsteps. Being a missionary must be so hard.
I have friends who chose to follow God’s path and I know
life has not been easy for them or their kids.
What motivates people to make such choices? God? Circumstances? Opportunity? Or
destiny? Whatever compelled them to make such decision must be powerful enough to
motivate them to go to a foreign land knowing their life would forever be changed.
Leaving a place of comfort and familiarity, family and friends, probably a good paying
job, must be tough. There must be a time when they questioned whether they had made
the right decision. Did they have any regrets? When I heard the eulogy and sharing of this
great man’s life, one could only marvel at the tremendous impact he had on thousands of
life. Well done Peter, well done.
What helps us to make changes in life?
We will face crossroads many times in our life. At these times we
will be forced to make some kind of decision. Some major decisions
will either make or break us. Most people will have that kind of
notion I guess! What I would like to think is that there are no wrong
or right choices. A choice is just a choice. You decide and reap the
consequences – good or bad.
What helped us to make such decision? To many of us who are believers, we look upon
our Lord Jesus for such direction. When we have to make a decision, we go to God in
prayers or read through His Word and hope that something will pop up. We pray till we
find peace and perhaps God has given us a go ahead. We always believe that God’s plan
is the best. So, many of us choose to make decision based on God’s direction.
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3. Some decisions are made because of circumstances in
life. We are forced to make unpleasant decisions
when life throws at us an oddball. Many of my
patient’s family decided to quit their job to take care
of their loved ones because they had no choice. Many
lack the resources to hire a maid and they did not
want to send the ill ones to a nursing home or
hospital. They decided to do that because they had no
other option. Many would think that it is a noble thing
to do or the right thing to do but this act alone is a sacrifice of love.
Over the years, I had seen the consequences of such decision. If the decision was made
because there was not a choice and such a person was literally ‘forced’ to carry such role,
during bereavement, issues such as resentment and anger may be there. It is never easy.
They had to give up a large chunk of their lives to care for someone who was ill. They
may feel isolated because they were stuck at home all the time, attend to every need of
the ill ones and the ones who have to take care of their excrement. It is so easy to judge
others when we are not walking in their shoes. However, there are many others who
found such times meaningful as they walk with a dying person through their final days in
life.
How about decisions made based on opportunity? Some will say
that opportunity is everywhere. You just need the courage to grab it
and move on with life. People like Steve Job and Bill Gates found
those opportunities and thrived because of the choices they made
when they saw it. Many would like to think opportunity equals to
making more money. But we may need to see otherwise.
There are also many opportunities to serve the poor, the
marginalised, needy. I salute those who attend to the bedridden and
needy as the work is tough and they face many challenges. Look at
the recent events in our own land. NGOs are being punished for
being kind. Homeless and poor are being sent away to keep the city
“clean”. What utter rubbish! But the unsung heroes continue to
serve those in need because they believe in the cause they are fighting for!
I believe there are still people making choices in life because
they believe it is their purpose in life. Some might think it is
naïve to have such thoughts! I still tell people that the reason I
am a palliative care physician is because I believe it is my
calling or destiny. I had almost given up on this vocation many
times because the road is tough and I burnt out so many times
that it is not worth to continue anymore. But the belief that it is
my destiny to support those in need has helped me through. If
it is God’s calling then He will continue to provide a way for me to continue on.
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4. Good vs Bad Choices
Looking back into my life, I had my share of making bad or terrible
choices. I remembered making some really bad mistakes that till
today I still feel the shame of committing such acts. My family and
friends would tell me to let go of the past and that God has forgiven
me. The funny thing is I know God has forgiven me but I have not
forgiven myself. I think it is a good thing, as ironic as it sounds, but
reminding myself of the bad choices I made kept me from making
the same ones again. It still hurts but every time when I am tempted to repeat the same
mistake, the pain keeps me away from another disaster. I keep sharing with the younger
ones the mistakes I made and the shame I carried through the years, hoping they learned
from my mistakes. But even mistakes take time and repentance is often a process, not an
event.
God has a way to turn bad choices into good consequences
though! My younger brother has his share of bad choices. He
made terrible business choices and had over the years lost a lot
of money over scams and betrayal from friends. God has used
these opportunities to teach him about trust and loyalty. He
learned the hard way to earn money and thus became more
careful in his spending. Another lesson learned was the
importance of family. He made some bad choices but those had
taught him good lessons he carried for the rest of his life. Now
being better in life, he is more mature and I can see what a
wonderful man he is becoming.
Are our choices permanent?
As the saying goes, nothing is permanent and
guaranteed. A friend told me that we have different
seasons in our life. One of my pastors used to remind
us that when the season changed we must embrace it.
Holding on to the same season over and over again
stunts us from growing or progressing.
Sometimes, making new choices in life is hard. It is
always nice to stay in our own comfort zone and
enjoy the familiarity.
But when something or someone (by the will of God) compels us to move on, we must
give it a thought. I have friends who refused to move on with life. They keep telling
themselves that they are doing well but as friends we know they wanted more. When we
asked the reason they stayed on, most fear the change as they fear failure if they
embarked on sometime new. It is scary no doubt but are they denying themselves
something greater or better? Well, a choice is a choice. They would have to live with that
consequence of not knowing if they will turn out better.
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5. My choices
If given a choice, I do not want to have polio. I had polio since I was one years old.
Growing up different from others turned me into an introvert girl. When I was younger I
kept questioning why I am crippled. As a Taoist then, I thought I must be a bad person in
my previous life that I have to live with such a terrible illness this life. People used to jeer
and laugh at me for my disability. I hated myself then. My source of hope and love was
my family, friends and teachers.
I decided at a young age that I wanted to be someone great,
someone who can inspire others and help others so that
people will be kind and good. What a dream for a 10-year-
old girl! But I remember clearly I made the choice not to feel
sorry for myself. Although over the years, there were
numerous occasions when I felt self-pity and that the world
owed me kindness, a gentle reminder that I am not alone in
my battle helped me through. Sometimes it is not the external
threats that bring me down but the internal demon that I had to fight every now and then.
But God reminds me that I am crippled for a reason and the reason is to glorify His name.
Through my disability I have reached out to many and touched many lives. I believed I
have done some good in people’s lives (editor: yes, she has!). In my own brokenness, I
have brought healing to my family, friends and patients.
So sometimes, the choices we make are actually an echo of
God’s great plan. When God designed us, He gave us a choice
how we want to run our life, whether to follow Him or not. Some
came in alignment with His plan earlier than others and for those
of us who did, we see the blessings. I am not saying that it is
easy or life will be smooth all the time. All I am saying is when
the choice we made are God’s choice, it is easier for us to fight
the battle knowing our Mighty God is with us all the way.
So today when you are faced with making choices and decisions in your life, think of the
motivation behind these decisions. Always remember in all decisions, there are
consequences we need to face. Along the way we may detour from our initial hopes and
dreams but it is okay as it may be what God intended from the beginning. Think of
Joseph and how God worked out for good, what others had meant for harm.
And finally…when Life gives you a lemon, make lemonade! Just enjoy the journey as
you have God by your side.
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