1. Polygamy is simply a marital state in which a man is married to more
than one wife.
People of Africa have travelled a long way with discrimination, oppression and abuse
more especially women married as second wives in a polygamous marriage.They have
been abused, oppressed and discriminated in the family and community. This has
happened for a very long time due to male dominance in the church and in the
community.
As an African woman, i have several times experienced how women have been
oppressed by polygamous marriages. I come from a family four children. Polygamy is
something that is frequently experienced and witnessed during my life time as a girl
and as a woman, because i'm a child born from a polygamous marriage. It has always
been painful for me to experience this form of pain and trauma, because my mother
was the second wife and a mother of four children, it was very difficult her to give us
everything that we needed as children due to three families that my father had to care
for.
My mother did not choose to marry her husband. She was forced by her parents after
her elder sister approached the parents to plead with her so that they can get married
to the same man. Her elder sister thought that if he chooses another wife for her
husband, he will not be able to get himself another wife.Is a system that is used in a
traditional marriage by African people to keep their wealth intact.
I have discovered that there are so many who are troubled by this problem. I recalled
just the other day one of the most prominent politician in Kenya passed a way and he
left behind two widow.The second wife was denied a chance to view the body of her
late husband and she was not recognised or being introduced in the funeral.
Here are some of the challenges of polygamous marriage;
1:Partiality of husbands.
When the husband shows preference for the particular wife, this leads to jealousy and
hatred towards the most favored wife. When jealousy among the wives become very
bad, they resort to killing the other in order to become the sole favorite.

2. 2:Competition and Opposition.
There is a strong contest for love for the husband. One uses every kind of power to
win his love. They often become enemies and oppose one another as a way of pulling
off from the marriage relationship. They also tell their children bad things about the
other women.
3:Greed and envy for possession.
That others should not get hold of that which she has. Everything has to be done or
controlled her own way as the first wife and the rest should not get anything.
4:Tribalism.
Is one of the causes fights, they often say to those who do not belong to the man’s
culture that children born out of this marriage are combination of two cultures and
therefore they don’t belong to that family.
5:Gossip.
Is also one of the weakness in polygamous marriage which women do with the
outsiders talking bad about other wives in their absence.
6:Lack of trust.
Womeninpolygamousmarriage donottrust eachother,whentheysee one of themwiththe husband
theyconclude thatshe is the topicof discussion.
7:Education.

3. Thiscausesconflictamongwomenbecause eachone of themthinksthattheyhave brightchildrenwho
are educatable betterthanthe otherwoman’schildren.The childrenof the favorite womanendup
beinginschool,italsohappensthatthe childrenof the firstwife cannotsupporttheirstepsiblingsno
matterhow richtheyto acquire education.
8:False Accusation.
Thisbecomesa normof livingthatif one isnot feelingwell,the conclusionisthatsucha personis
bewitchedbyotherwivesinthismarriage.Creatingliesaboutothersinordertomake themsufferfrom
the misuse of powerbythe husband.
9:Jealousy and hatred.
Africanwomenlike tosaythat “ I will hate youandyour shadow until death”.Whenthe relationshipis
sour.
Womeninthiskindof familyhave aresponsibility toacceptfirstthat itis true theyare marriedtothis
man and cannotchange it, alsoneedtoaccept that theirchildrenshare the same father, share the same
husbandandthere isneedto worktowardsbringingharmony inthe family.If the relationshipbetween
wivesisgood,itwill alsobe possibleforthe childrentoaccepteachother.It isalso the role of the
womentospeakout andshowthe husband that he mustnot show partialitybetweenthemashiswives
and treathischildrenequally.