Sales Talk

1 Holistic Handbook To Direct Sales - 2010

2 Introduction 1 One of mankind’s most important personal and business concepts is the idea of object-oriented relational systems thinking. Summarized by Aristotle in his lectures on Metaphysics, “The whole is more than the sum of its parts.”

3 Introduction 2 Direct Sales skills can be critically useful to understanding such thinking as Direct Sales is the most fundamental step-by-step personal accelerant for the development and restructuring of inter-organizational and inter-personal hierarchies, associations, and identities So, for whom might Direct Sales be useful?

4 Introduction 3 For software development, Object-Oriented Modeling (OOM) is about understanding entity characteristics and relationships instead of top-down tasks. Rather than thinking about the tasks needed, say, to make a PB and jelly sandwich, modern programmers consider instead all of the possible relationships between PB, jelly, bread, toaster, and the frig.

5 Introduction 4 For data management, Entity-Relationship Diagramming (ERD) is a semantic data modeling technique that uses a graphical representation of system entities and their relationships instead of just their application as a basis for a unified view of data.

6 Introduction 5 For business process management, Unified Modeling Language (UML) focuses on the system entities, their use, and relationships with the user, proceeding from the outside inwards to the objects that make things happen. Such a workflow approach to analyzing and managing a business process is often used in combination with object-oriented programming.

7 Introduction 6 For technology management, DeMarco says in Peopleware the most commonly written software is accounts receivables (as everyone needs to get paid), with likely hundreds of development teams so working at this very moment. Over two thirds will fail not due to misunderstanding the technology but only to problems with human relationships. “When projects fail, it’s rarely technical.”1 Jim Johnson, The Standish Group

8 For accounting, the traditional7 Introduction focus was on estimating the value of factories, trucks, and machines based on the tasks they performed. “Goodwill” is about paying, say, $20 million for a company with $10 million in such tangible assets on the assumption that it’s “true” value is based more on its potential relational synergy. (e.g.: Raytheon’s asset list is half goodwill, or in other words, assessed relationships)

9 Introduction 8 As today’s accountant must estimate corporate assets based on their potential relationships, and, Activity Based Costing (ABC) gives a new relational view from “cost centers,” core to the “new” economy is intellectual property and its relationship potential.

10 For athletics, it turns out that 9 Introduction great runners naturally perform below their individual levels as members of a relay team. It is supposed the increased anonymity and reduced affect on the outcome explain such performance declines. But, a strong and honest coach can flame the desire to learn and produce by stroking team relational affection to where member’s personal times synergistically surpass all prior ceilings.

11 Historians agree the assassination of Archduke Introduction 11 Frances may have sparked the start of World War I, but that the real causes of the conflict were embedded in the political, economic, and social relationships of Europe at that time. While it’s popular to think that guns are responsible for violence in Africa, political scientists agree it is rather the well-intentioned actions of American relief efforts that corrupt government-citizen relationships by “giving them fish instead of teaching them to fish.”

12 Much likeIntroduction 11 violence in Africa, violence in American streets can only be truly addressed when gangs are seen as key to the solution instead of only as a key problem (gangs are a natural result of the relational disorganization of disfranchised Irish, Italian, Black, Hispanic, etc). While Chicago’s Vice Lords opened schools and businesses and the Black Panthers gave kids breakfast, the “War on Gangs” only caused an end to reforms with more ghettos & violence (it’s LA’s FACES that’s uniting the Red & Blue).

13 CommunismIntroductionon the idea that if is firmly based 12 the “evil” system (of capitalism and religion) is removed, a socialist man of perfect character will emerge (but it hasn’t ever happened and economist Steven Levitt and others have well shown lone people are quite poor at assessing risk and avoiding temptation) while democracy is based on the idea that integrity is instead simply about building quality relationships with accountability from good checks and balances.

14 Introduction 13 The Fifth Discipline in Peter Senge’s book of the same name (that Harvard Review saw as most useful management text of last 75 years) is about the reflective object-oriented relational thinking that can integrate personal learning (from personal mastery and mental models) into corporate learning (of a shared vision) with a spiritual interconnected sense of the present as the only way to continually prove that the whole can exceed the sum of its parts.

15 Senge opens his later book, “Presence,” with Introduction 14 “unlike machines [which can be simply broken down to understand and fix], living systems are continually growing and changing, ” but Stewart Brand showed even buildings are best viewed as living systems reshaped and refined over time by their occupants in sharp contrast to prior static “form follows function” thinking in his inspirational book, “How Buildings Learn, What Happens After They’re Built.” (1994)

16 Moreover, automotive engineers agree that Introduction 15 GM has to employ ten times as many people to make about the same number of cars as Toyota that are, sadly, less reliable both from focusing more on reliability of parts rather than the whole car and from using strict fixed controls rather than human trust to sustain long-term worker relationships. The goal of Systems Thinking is to look beyond seemingly “obvious” answers and understand the complex relationships between entities.

17 The Systems Thinking / Dynamics approach to teachingIntroduction 16 and learning was started at the Catalina Foothills Orange Grove Middle School (Tucson, Arizona) in 1994 and similar programs now exist in Michigan, Oregon, Massachusetts, Iowa, Georgia and Maryland (see http://www.watersfoundation.org). Tools include computer simulations, diagramming tools, systems games, and physical activities (a science class, say, might focus on biological systems where students experiment with the relational impact of various amounts of rain on the life of an ecosystem).

18 It was said Introduction 12 destiny. biology determined our Now, however, neuroscientists agree skills and personality have little to due with the brains (and neurons) we were born with. It is instead the growing synaptic networks (until age 25), affected profoundly by teachers and parents, that decide if we’ll grow up to be a surgeon or a slacker. Good or bad, we are made by our relationships during “windows of opportunity.”

19 Introduction 10 For adult or self-help therapy, Dr. Henry Cloud showed in “How People Grow” how the four popular Christian counseling models (based on holy gifts and tasks) of the Sin Model (Good is good, you’re bad stop it), the Truth Model (just think it and do it), the Experimental Model (dig up pain for praying), and the Charismatic Healing Model never help as much as one might expect and that only a Relational Model can get past growth ceilings.

20 Introduction 17 For child delinquency therapy, S. D. Elliot (1998) reviewed 500 violence prevention programs (that mostly focused on tasks, e.g.: zero tolerance, scared straight, DARE, boot and wilderness camps – not addressing any known risk factors and usually making things worse) and only three (that focused instead on relationships) did any good: Functional Family Therapy, Oregon Treatment Foster Care, and (the best) Multisystemic Therapy (MST).

21 Introduction 18 The MST professional must go beyond basic Systems Theory to sufficiently address the central interpersonal control and relationship issues to predict which type of problems are associated with which type of organizational structures and interaction patterns. And, get the required support to collectively brainstorm and identify a specific problem behavior, the key success factors for change, and strengths in regards to the associated social factors.

22 Pirsig’s field of Metaphysics of Quality (intro-ed Introduction 19 with Zen and Motorcycle Maintenance) argues that quality is both objective (essentialism) and subjective (idealism), being greater than either. Social Constructionism attempts to describe how people cooperate in building the subjective element of our social reality starting with Berger and Luckmann claim in their 1966 “The Social Construction of Reality” that all “reality” has a social framework (also see Colbert’s Wikiality).

23 Plato’s definition of art as imitation was used in Introduction 21 the art world until last century’s anti-essentialist movement, fueled by the collage art style (using a collection of real items, e.g.: Picasso’s Still Life with Chair Caning) that took us beyond the cubistic illusion of multiple perspectives to a far more messy and real collective view of the spiritual impact of the world on our well-being. Alas, the failure of many modern art books to make a distinction between even montage and collage threatens this reflective art revolution.

24 Introduction 20 Alas, even sales organizations typically don’t understand the importance of such a collective approach. “A 2008 Selling Power online survey found that 29 percent of sales leaders judged their CEO useless when it comes to creating a sale.” --Selling Power publisher Gerhard Gschwandtner adds that before a company can ever be customer centric it must first, of course, be employee (especially direct sales) centric.

25 So, who canIntroduction 22Sales skills? benefit from Direct Software developers, data architects, technology managers, department heads, accountants, attorneys, coaches, historians, politicians, architects, engineers, evangelists, social workers, teachers, students, consultants, therapists, sociologists, artists, and CEOs. Not just to persuade but to understand.

26 Process improvements generating exponential Introduction 22 paradigm shifts cause informational singularities Such as the Agricultural Revolution for the Hunter-Gatherer, then the Industrial Revolution, and finally last century’s Information Revolution. But, what might come next? Many believe it will be a “fifth wave” revolution of relational sciences as a new development basis for a “new” economy based on social capital.

27 Why did IIntroduction 22 build this presentation? In the real world, egos and codependent relationships often produce personal goals that undermine best practices. And, trust is difficult in a world of high-tech communications and global markets based on deceitful practices. Thus, it’s hard to predict success for either an open “no one at the top” or a charismatic management. Or, nobody taught me what I needed to know.

28 The Human Need To Be Seen Introduction 22 While many have shown neurotic transferences of childhood events into our adult lives start when parent, teacher, etc, prioritized their own needs above our childhood needs, such can also occur due to fears over not being noticed. Plus, the “new economy” business model is no longer about making money, but social capital. And, the science of being seen is called SALES.

29 7-Point Lecture Agenda 1. What makes a good Direct Salesperson? → All sales require knowledge of the following 2. Small Talk Basics and Catharsis Theory → 3. Neuroeconomic Psychology Concepts → 4. Enemy Mine: embracing incompleteness → 5. Buyer Behaviors and the Buyer Cycle → 6. Management’s need to track the Sales Cycle → 7. When to Hard Sell and when to Soft Sell → And, Sales Coaching (so to bring it all home)

<Home> 30 #1: Direct Sales Is The Best • Anyone who changes people’s opinions and gains commitments by building trusting relationships – Thus, sales is no different from teaching or evangelism in using “soft power” (not sticks or carrots) for change 1 • Gutek, et al (2000) , found in multiple surveys that when customers expected to interact with the same person in the future, they reported more trust in and better knowledge of their providers, were more likely to continue doing business with the provider, and were more likely to refer the provider to others than customers who received a different person each time they called or who anticipated only a one time service encounter.

31 Direct Sales DISC Profile • William Marston’s “Emotions of Normal People” (1928) Dual-axis (male/female) personality test • Ideal DISC Profile of the successful sales person – Hi Dominance: socially proactive (assertive or charming as the situation demands) with no fear of confrontation – Hi Interpersonal Skills: a fast talking but warm extrovert – Low Steadiness: preferring high stress environments – Low Compliance: likes to be in charge using out of the box ideas even if they may cause missed deadlines • Also, self-motivated, independent, and confident • Most aren’t and feel uneasy around sales people

32 Valuable Sales Values (need 1-2 “that’s definitely me”) • Certain values are important to productive sales – Discussing an “ideal” sales personality is really about developing key fruitful relationship values • Do you send out a hundred Christmas / birthday cards each year to personal friends and family? – Don’t claim this if it’s really your spouse that’s doing it – Moreover, does this include a card for your butcher? • Is it a rare occurrence that you eat lunch alone? • Key to sales is a love for a “warm” market Do you enjoy many brief encounters? – Six degrees of separation is due to such “connectors”

33 Valuable Sales Values (cont) • Do you value being a provider, driven (not possessed) by increasingly profitable efforts? – Do you pay someone to iron your shirts and don’t have extensive hobbies with “better” uses of your time? • Were you able to talk your way out of trouble (and others in) as a child prodigy “spin” master? – Or, do you value developing such skills currently? • Do you have sufficiently “flexible” or “situational” ethics (see “Thank you for Smoking”) or is it more important for you to instead always be “right?” – If an attorney, say, could you defend a murderer?

34 Valuable Sales Values (cont) • Are you driven by a love of information – if you know about cars, is it, for example, from a love of cars or more from a love of just any knowledge? – Do you ask lots of questions from a curiosity to learn from others (believing you can learn from anyone)? – Do friends turn to you for advice on purchases? • Do you “need” to improve people (be “useful”)? – Do you solve your own problems by solving other’s and solve other’s problems by solving your own? – Apostle Paul wholly failed as a evangelist until he stopped for 20 years to work as a carpet salesman

35 2 Any Good Professional • Creative, energetic, with a good heart/manners • Motivated, strong work ethic, feels accountable • Flexible, creative, and often very open minded • Intelligent, with common sense (“street smarts”) • Able to shift to organizational ecology as focus • Open to peer supervision and working in teams • Strong sense of ethics; keeps to higher ground • Likely to volunteer to be trained or do training • Willing to modify policies & dedicate resources • Fully able to take the “lead” in decision making

36 Vulnerable To Depression • Ironically, these very same success producing qualities often create a vulnerability to depression • For one thing, many high achievers turn out to be “super survivors” who come from backgrounds of family violence or substance abuse (where the parent’s needs took precedence over the child’s) – Worry about living up to gender stereotypic worldview (more often boys, 4 times more likely to commit suicide) – And, their desire for long hours comes from learning to delay gratification (often taken for emotional maturity) – Thus, becoming a success is more fun than being one; so, often depressed, bored, fearful, without an identity

37 Must You Be Natural Born? • Fewer than 15% of salespersons (the few who can relate with buyer’s time, agenda, purpose, etc.) drive over half of all sales – Why is this? • Even in our democratic society, most people like to believe that success must be born into you – There are few sales degrees (but, that’s changing) – 70% of managers believe success needs no training – Forbes even lists Sales as one of the few top paying professions with the least required education, but • No, sales is science and the #1 antecedent is the number of successful seminars completed in people, sales, and time management skills!

38 3 University Sales Programs • William Paterson University: 1st B.S. in Prof. Sales – Sponsors the National Sales Challenge Competition • Kennesaw State Univ: Sales Major since 1989 – Sponsors National Collegiate Sales Competition • University of Toledo: Accredited MBA Sales spec. • Western Michigan University: Sales Bus. Major • Western Kentucky University: Sales Bus. Major • College of St. Catherine: Healthcare Sales & B2B • Illinois State university: Sales Major & Executive • Specialized programs exist for Sports (Baylor), etc • Online programs: Jones International, Kaplan, etc

39 Other Common Sales Myths • Selling is a numbers game. No, sales is not a lottery won by those with the most tickets, but won by better research, marketing, and relationships • You must like people. No, great selling is not being willing to cozy up to anyone with a bankroll • People must like you. No, people should trust you; but, a good listener will outsell a fast talker • Rejection is the name of the game. No, it’s not the sales person that loses, it’s the prospect’s loss • Stress is inevitable. No, anyone can accept the world for what it is and people for whom they are

40 Comparing Sales To Marketing • Marketing uses advertising, promotions, publicity, and feedback to mold societal wants and products to each other for greatest traffic “through the door” – Marketing often starts in Sales to remove such research load only later to manage Sales as last Marketing step • Sales then converts those prospects into buyers with expertise in “closing the deal” using personal questioning to learn and satisfy customer wants – “a systematic process of repetitive and measurable milestones of relating a product to achieve buyer goals” (see Selling Without Confrontation by Jack Green 4)

<Home> 41 #2: Small Talk Outline • First Impressions – Giving them what they want to see and hear – Don’t look like a salesperson fit in, like a zebra • Small Talk and Networking – Mostly about shared affirmations and congruence – Be purpose-driven and share topic negotiation – Killing “speed bumps” with kindness and small gifts • Catharsis Theory of shared experiences – Developing shared emotional insight – Building affection (power, solidarity, familiarity) – While always working to avoid any and all face threats

42 Little Time For First Impressions • Credibility established in opening statement – 1/20th of second to develop an emotional attraction – 3 seconds to be appealing and capture their attention – 5 seconds to begin building a lasting first impression • Malcolm Gladwell’s Blink 5 & Christine Perfetti’s 5-Sec Tests 6 – 8 seconds to finish a message THEY find interesting • About the time it takes to slowly stroll past a exhibit booth – Or else, they will become bored and move on • Then, expect about seven follow-ups to fix things, if you can • People enjoy being right and will continue on a poor but immediately attractive person / web site > So, you must be immediately attractive! <

43 7 Instant “Halo” Generators • Good looking + grooming + taller = Social Benefits – Children know attractive kids are more often forgiven • Compliments, even fake just like canned laughter – Guinness’ Best Salesman Joe Girard sends a card to all 13,000 car buyers every month saying “I like you!” • Cooperative exercises or Good cop / Bad cop – Finding “lost” money is more valuable than “saved” – “If we ‘pull together,’ I can ‘do battle’ with my boss to secure a good deal for you!” works even if you “fail” • Association with good food as well as good news – “Let me buy you lunch, we deserve to celebrate!” • Authority with humility: “We’re # 2, but we try harder”

44 Proxemics (Spacing and Posture) • Influence is inversely proportional to the square (or cube) of the distance between two people – Intimate space goes to 18 inches; Personal to four feet; Social to 12 feet; and, Public to 25 feet away (the last two replace the primitive fight or flight space) • Humans make territorial claims just like animals – Walking behind someone’s desk can be very invasive • People use personal items like photos to mark their space – Sociofugal spaces are organized for interpersonal communication (square spaces more comfortable), whereas sociopetal spaces encourage more solidarity – Americans need to “get otta’ my face” while backing away tells an Egyptian or Iranian they are unworthy

45 Emulate A Close Relationship • Smiling, general facial pleasantness, affirmative head nods, gestural animation, head tilts, relaxed body, lack of any random movements, open body positions, and, most critical, postural congruence (sit or stand in line with their position and posture) – Close, direct body orientation and leaning forward – Mutual eye contact but decreasing eye movements – Watch TV with a mirror and try emulating expressions • Pitch variation, amplitude, duration, and warmth – Reinforcing interjections such as “uh-huh” and “mm- hmmm,” greater fluency, expressiveness, and clarity • Above all, you must produce smooth turn-taking

46 Appearance Congruence • Clothes, speech, and image should express full social agreement with the buyer (expectations) – Execu-Speak to Managers, Techno-Speak to Geeks, Denaro-Speak to Bean Counters, Slang to the Young • Best to become like them be a chameleon! – My 9-year old son saw me working on this slide and cried out, “Dad, You mean, ‘be a zebra!’ Zebras blend in with others while chameleons fade away.” • You must also convey an honest desire to solve their problems and not the need to make a sale – Not be seen as pushy, self-centered, or manipulative – But, appear as knowledgeable, honest, and genuine

47 Don’t Look Like A Salesperson • Your suit and tie can confirm buyer’s expectations of yet another person only pretending to help and a scripted opening may then validate such fears – May yell, “Whatever you’re selling, we don’t want any!” • At least, get in sync with the Buyer’s emotions – “Yes, I’m sure that’s true! Of course, you don’t! And, who could blame you? But, you need it! Well, of course, it’s not cheap. If you give me a minute, I’ll tell you why you not only need to help me get a nice commission paycheck but why you going to be thrilled to do so.” – Amazon’s Customer Support e-mail replies are angry about customer problems: “I’m very upset about ”

48 8 Appear Genuine • More than appearance and emotional syncing • Maintain good eye contact – no darting about • Animated (not fidgety), using hands for emphasis • Don’t distance yourself with 2nd and 3rd person pronouns like “you,” “we,” and “they;” use names • “To tell you the truth” or “to be perfectly honest” suggests you normally lie – don’t say such things! • Agree and compliment: “Great idea last week!” • Ask permission, “Can I give you some ideas that might enhance your office, project, or career?”

49 And, Sound Connected • Whether looking to connect with a client, or a date, we might start off a conversation with • “How was your day?” • But reconsider, it would be better to start with “How are you doing?” – the all time classic • Or even better, “Is your mom / family doing well?” • Or the ultimate, “I saw (or heard) something (say, a presentation) today that made me think of you.” • These questions sound like you want to “connect” to the person’s current emotional state of mind

50 Good vs. Great • GOOD salespeople are polished and professional; plus, they’ve got a great pitch and are very likable. – BUT, they make most prospects wary. People may like and even support them, but certainly don’t trust them. • GREAT salespeople could look like above, or be folksy like a good country preacher, or even be a total mess but, great means being genuine! – GREAT is about being stubborn, aggressive, and persistent without ever being perceived as those things – If you’re told you’re a great salesperson, you not! They just bought something they normally wouldn’t have – It’s much better if they say, “You make a lot of sense.”

51 History of Small Talk Bonding • Military salute originates from knights lifting their visor when deciding not to fight – thus, it simply says, “I see you and recognize you as an equal” • Hand shake says, “Look, I am not carrying a weapon – you can trust me (at least, to a point)” • Small Talk should likewise communicate tone and rhythm before “getting down to business” • No real or “task” information should be shared – moving too quickly “at” the person only says one does not respect the other (figuratively has a knife with visor closed) and is ready to be trouble

52 Definition of Small Talk • Often considered superficial, Small Talk is for: – Starting and ending most any English interaction – Filling uncomfortable silence – important to Americans – Overall, helping build and maintain relationships • Requires knowledge of small talk rules, language fluency and vocabulary, and ability to discuss many topics, esp. about yourself and their culture • Meeting at a restaurant, you can say “Was there a lot of traffic? Did you have any trouble finding the building? I hope it doesn't rain again tomorrow.” (from: http://www.voanews.com/specialenglish/archive/2007-10/2007-10-02-voa2.cfm)

53 The Four Steps of Small Talk 1. It is best to start with the other person’s name: “Hi Mike, I’m Jim. How are you doing?” – The dominant interactant (or Alpha) speaks first – “Good to see you” better than “Good to meet you” >> Encourage other with several “yes” questions – “Enjoying the weather?” “Did you order this sunshine?” – “Did you see the game yesterday?” “ the TV show?” – “Is your mother / family well?” “Would you like a mint?” 2. Respond with whole sentence, no real information – “Yes, it’s gorgeous. I love hot, sunny days.” – “Yea, Mom is really enjoying retirement.” – “I’m having a lot of trouble with my asthma.” <= NO!

54 4 Steps of Small Talk (continued) 3. One can respond to the provided response by – Echo question/statement (“Am I well?” or “You’re well.”) – Checking back (“Is that right?” or “Did you say ?”) – Acknowledgement (“I see”) or simple affirmation (“Yes”) – Confirming an expected response (“Right,” “That’s true,” “That’s very astute,” or “Indeed, that has been <my or other’s> experience”). The best response is a very strong positive evaluation: “That’s great!” 4. The final move consists only of various idling behavior (like “Mhm”, “Really”, “Yea”, etc.) until starting over or ending w/ “Enjoy your weekend,” “I enjoyed seeing you,” or “Have a great day!”

55 Small Talk Builds Trust • Moving too quickly is a face threat (for example, asking a stranger how much money he or she has or what kind of deodorant he or she prefers) – But, Social Penetration Theory shows we like (or trust) people who gradually engage in self-disclosure and we tend as well to then disclose more to people we like 9 – “You’ve got to be believed to be heard” by Bert Decker • Small Talk emphasizes interpersonal goals in a ritualized way to “grease the wheels” of “task talk” – Which works only IF there is a repeated sharing of spoken (as well as appearance) affirmations – So, we need them to say “yes” (most anything works)

56 Networking Example • Mike, good to see you. • Thanks for asking, Jim. Are you doing well? Yes, I am (nodding). • Is that right? So, is your • Yea, Mom’s really mom also doing OK? enjoying retirement. • That’s great! Mint? • Yes, thanks. [third yes] • You’re welcome. Hey, • The warmer weather did you catch the local makes going out to a ball game last night? game much more fun. • That’s really true! • Mhm [third affirmation] • I enjoyed seeing you. • Well, have a good day.

57 Trawling • Billy Beane of the Oakland A’s (who often beat teams with 2.5 times larger budgets) calls the constant networking he does with other General Managers (keeping tabs on the information he needs for future trading success) “Trawling” – Trawling: fishing with two boats and a large net • Beane also Trawls brochures and Web sites • Beane also purposely Trawls all the players – To help boost the value of one trade to get another • He smells money if anyone says, “I have to ” – Doesn’t even need to be in any way about baseball

58 Know Where You’re Going Realtor: Alright. From Client: Yes, we’re your names, I can see newlyweds. that you’re related. By marriage, right? Realtor: Really? When? Client: June eleventh. Realtor: Congratulations. Client: We’re also expecting a baby. Realtor: Holy cow. Client: In May. So. And Realtor: You guys don’t we want to buy a fool around, do you? house. (From Negotiated Collusion by Cassell and Bickmore 10)

59 Where You’re Going (continued) Realtor: You took awhile Client: Moving into the to decide then it was new Millennium. So. like, let’s do it all. Realtor: That’s the way. Client: We find out next Do you know if it’s to week. be a boy or a girl? Realtor: When’s it’s due? Client: May 29th. Realtor: Very good. Client: Yea. Good timing. Realtor: Awesome. You want the house before <= The Destination the child? (From Negotiated Collusion by Cassell and Bickmore 10)

60 Where You’re Going (continued) • The Realtor was determining sale parameters – How many Influencers are involved in the purchase – The size of the family, and therefore, how big of a house they will need near-term (may buy more later) – The projected time line for the purchase and use • As well as critical social features of the clients – Building rapport with small talk through intimacy with self-disclosure, credibility with expert jargon, social networking with gossip, and “face” with politeness – How close they felt with her at that moment, and therefore, how likely they are to want to work with her – Never seeming to be (or actually being) in a hurry

61 Be Purpose Driven • Return to step #1 for “yes” sharing until leaving – Susan Roane, the “Mingling Maven,” says effective networking (which is only about small talk) requires a person simply to, “Be bright. Be brief. Be gone.” 11 – Keith Ferrazzi (Never Eat Alone12) says don’t schmooze – Dale Carnegie said smile, use name, question, listen – Don’t Sell, but Network bumps and other influencers • Or, decide it’s time for a deeper conversation – Catharsistic communication consisting of emotional insight, understanding, and actions of commitment – Know your intent & mission (next sales cycle, recommendation, etc.) and primary benefits • 75% of people have no objective when making a sales call

62 Be Empathetic • Use “You” mode summarizing empathetic statements: “You feel ” and “You’re feeling” • Facilitate safe access to negative emotions and build identification in order to even “read between the lines” • Also, use “I” mode empathetic statements temporarily assuming the other person’s identity: “Mike, I’m really upset about [his problem]” – This will help develop an understanding of the “real” problems as well as communicate they’re not yours – This externalization will help the client recognize other perspectives and be more open to new solutions

63 And, Share Topic Negotiation • Rather than being introduced by one speaker – Topics can be proposed via “topical bids” (such as “I just got back from vacation”) and then accepted with interest “topicalizers” (such as “Oh, yea?”) – Proposals (“Well, that reminds me of a story.”) – Contributions should fit within the topic progression • Gradual topic transitions in a smooth stepwise and collaborative manner in order to display mutual willingness to enter the new discussion – “Intimacy is as much a ‘negotiated collusion’ as it is a state of ‘true oneness’” (Brown and Rogers, 1991). – See Cassell and Bickmore’s Negotiated Collusion 10

64 Use Bridging Statements • For moving from the Small Talk to the Work Talk – Simplest: “Well, I don’t want to monopolize your time, the reason/purpose for my call/e-mail/seeing you is ” • Bridging is also used to restate prior information with a confirming question to gain agreement – Normally, this would be used in later meetings with, say, “Has anything changed since our last meeting?” – Allow the customer to make corrections or additions and then follow up by returning to another bridging • Finally, bridging is used to the referral request – “Since you’ve discovered first-hand my value-added service, who else do you think can likewise benefit?”

65 13 Are You Linked In? • http://www.linkedin.com/ business oriented social network includes cell phone access (5x yearly) – Others are Facebook, Jigsaw, Orkut, Spoke, Xeegua – First introduction, or take edge off of a first meeting – Fundamentally changing the nature of lead generation • Just E-mail a link before meeting with a prospect – For a quick introduction, resume highlights, hobbies – Letting prospects update their own contact information – BUT, this also allows competition to see your contacts – Spend 15 minutes a day researching targets, asking for introductions, and reciprocating the same for others

66 Identify “Speed Bumps” • Anyone with the ability to slow down the sales cycle: receptionists, secretaries, or assistants – They can rob you of time and provide undue grief • Acting like gate guards, they can be hard to get along with or impossible to get information from – Can be “Speed Bumps” for many potential prospects; plus, can easily be promoted to buyer in the future • Develop long-term relationships by “killing” them with kindness of flowers, candy, and small gifts – Network (not sell) Buyer’s bumps, peers, and “heroes” • New speed bump is the automated phone system

67 Understand Catharsis Theory • Aristotle said watching a tragedy can purge one of strong emotions (also by Feshbach & Singer) – Like blowing off steam or a good cry, if leads to change • Strong empathy and psychological identification can be developed by shared sensation seeking – Can backfire, takes effort and time, better in person – Golf, lunch, movie/date, Internet blogging, & YouTube – Strategic and operational social marketing both use a customer oriented and viral marketing approach from sustainable marketing and social media optimization techniques to “mashup” differing shared experiences – Only if energy is directed into understanding problems

68 Feeling Good Can Be Bad! • In 1951, Powers & Witmer studied high-risk boys – Half were counseled and sent to YMCA after 5 years, therapists felt most had “benefited substantially;” boys agreed: it gave them insight & kept them out of trouble. • Yet, the “helped” boys committed more crimes & were more affected by alcoholism, mental illness, and lower job satisfaction than those left alone. – See The Crying Game 14 by Dr. Richard Bolstad • Like therapy, crying, and even religion, sales only has value if it encourages the individual to grow and not simply to feel better about who they are! – “If you’ve never been hurt by a word from God, you’ve probably never heard Him speak.” – Amy Carmichael

69 Developing Emotional Insight • Sales and marketing based on people making conscious and rational decisions is FALSE! – Cognitive science shows 95% of all human behavior (more for women) controlled by emotional connections (familiars and whether they will make us look/feel good) • Products either cheaper or more loved – be loved! – And yet, 90% of salespeople ask insulting questions • Become aware of your own driving subconscious feelings and pay more attention to context than content (the “media is the message”) by isolating your senses (body language and sound of voice) – Listen and observe more while talking and acting less

70 Emotional Insight (continued) 15 • Five Why’s to discover underlying motivations – Why is more emotional than How, Who, or When – For example, community donations are not about how much others are helped but acting on one’s beliefs and micro-brewed beer is not about quality but showing off – Mom’s prefer unhurried doctors with good eye contact than degrees from top colleges and UPS customers prefer feeling informed on options than fastest delivery • Others: Why should they care? Have you grabbed their interest? What should they feel? Why should they believe you? Have you sold yourself as best delivery? What do you want them to remember?

71 Exchange of Information • This means understanding rather than knowing – Transmitting data is secondary in developing a lasting understanding between people this is why most bonding conversations involves no real exchange of hard information at all. Alas, TVs, emails, cell phones, and fewer places to assemble usually skip small talk conversations today and makes building trust harder. – We often send mixed messages, only repeat ourselves instead of respond, use blocked body language, fail to ask for feedback, and wholly miss critical cultural cues – Ask more questions; don’t fall into features and price! • Keep factual situational questions like how many to a minimum

72 Info Exchange (continued) • Most info should be about jokes and stories, food, music, health, birthdays and anniversaries, items for sale (EBay), playing games, and hobbies • Physical proximity often facilitates learning about other’s interests and abilities, task coordination, and builds relationships via informal, relatively unplanned communications (e.g.: at water cooler) – My favorite meetings are “accidental” ones in hallways • Building trust with social dialog that begins with non-intimate topics and then slowly progresses – KISS: Keep It Simple but Smart, then more complex

73 True Even For Virtual Agents (Like MS Bob & Paper Clip) 16 From “Relational Agents ” by Timothy Bickmore and Justine Cassell • Users prefer computers that compliment, use humor, cultural lingo, & deepening self-disclosure • Resnick & Lammers showed it is easier to alter user behavior by corrective error messages via different humanness levels for user self-esteem – Task-oriented computer-ese for low self-esteem, more human-like for high-esteem, Resnick/Lammers 1985 • REA is a real-time, life-sized Real Estate Agent that responds to turn-taking gestures, allows herself to be interrupted, repairs misunderstandings, and elicits trust by talking about the weather, herself, etc.

74 The Critical Friendship Goal • Closeness: each conversational topic has a prerequisite familiarity before introducing it (especially for sensitive topics like money) >> This is why cold calls frequently fail! << – Topic coherence and relevance: such as from weather, to Boston weather, and finally to Boston real estate – Task goals: discovering hidden key personal needs – Logical preconditions: such as one must first determine if a person is a student before asking them their major If you can’t “Dad was replaced by a small gizmo that could do everything he could; even Mom bought one!”

75 Defining Power (Net Zero Sum) • The ability of one to control the behavior of others • Solidarity (or Brown and Levinson’s 1978 Social Distance) is “like-mindedness” or similar behavior dispositions (e.g., similar political membership, family, religion, profession, interests, gender, etc) • Familiarity develops with reciprocal exchanges, beginning with non-intimate topics and gradually progressing to more personal and private topics – Growth can be represented by the breadth (number of topics) and depth (public to private) of information • Affect (trust) is degree of apreciating above two

76 Defining “Face” • Goffman defined “Line” as patterns of action by which individuals present an image of themselves and “Face” as “the positive social value a person effectively claims for himself by the line others assume he has taken during a particular contact.” • Face is maintained by having one’s line accepted – Events incompatible with how we want people to see us must be avoided or mitigated so not to lose face – Face threats from overt power, low familiarity, social distance, and speech (informing, requesting, rejecting) can force one to back off, to work “under the radar,” do redressive (pos or neg) strategies, or perform poorly

77 Redressing Face Threats • Grice’s (1975) communication rules are: speak truthfully, say no more or less than required, no random topics but follow the “flow,” and be clear • Missing manners to avoid Face Threatening Acts – E.g.: simple statements in text can be read as “flames” • Could instead say nothing (but little profit in that) • But, familiarity can turn threat into building bonds – Building common ground starts with the weather, etc., building affective reactions (smiling), synchronizing speech and appearance, and affirmations (small talk is primarily about taking turns showing agreement)

78 Sample Face Threat Redressings (“Pass the salt” could be heard as a command) • Best: “I’m sorry, but I’d be grateful for the salt.” – Oriented towards the listener’s autonomy concerns with an apology, incurred debt, and imposition minimization • Pos: “Hey buddy, you want to pass me the salt?” – Incorporates esteem needs and assumed compliance – And, uses common ground, humor, & rewards/promises • Off the record: “Mhm, I find this food a bit bland.” – Plausible deniability with innuendo and ambiguous hint • Min: “Could you just nudge that salt over here?” • Def: “Excuse me, sir, would you pass the salt?” • Pessimistic: “You’re not passing the salt, are you?”

79 Influence of Small Talk on Affect • Avoiding face threats by sidestepping major power imbalances • Showing appreciation for other’s contributions • Establishing a common ground through stories • Increasing familiarity & solidarity by keeping to contextual topics • Building coordination and positive affect with 16 short synchronizations From “Relational Agents ” by Timothy Bickmore, Justine Cassell

80 Resolving Bottlenecks • First overt cause of conflict is the current or past clash of values, personalities, or social norms – Be flexible and objective; accept differences and others – Be appreciative; give a smile or small gift (buy a drink) – Switch perspectives and positions to walk in their shoes • Include someone objective or whom they respect – Respected figures include Doctors, experts, and Mom • Look ahead or even suspend discussions until later, logic is constant but emotions are not (e.g.: people are more generous during the holidays) • But, there is also another unspoken root cause

<Home> 81 #3: Shrink Kit Outline 17 • “All people are out of their minds!” - Dr. Ellis – Handling a neurotic or disordered buyer / company • Understanding common verbal behaviors / clues – Since, people almost never say what they really mean – How to negotiate with a difficult buyer (never argue!) • Neuroeconomics (buying is emotional, not logical) – Self-centered, concrete, contrast, short-term, & visual – How to sell to the old brain and raise the unconscious – Using crisis and shock, sell respectfully to the heart – the goal is always a commitment, before any informing • Change Agents persuade for more commitments

82 “People Are Out Of Their Minds!” (symptoms of unmet emotional needs => greatest need) • Dr. Albert Ellis: “[People] are not only disturbed. 17 They get disturbed about their disturbances.” – Murphy: any human system is inherently unreliable • 30% of Americans clinically dissociated neurotics – More doctor visits for neurotic stress than common cold – Blame themselves, overworked, powerless, depressed, codependent need to help, work as rescuers and fixers • 15% of Americans serious personality disorders – Detached, overemotional, and high risk for addictions, reckless behavior, and clashes with societal norms – “Persecuted” emotional vampires; work as councilors, law enforcement, teachers, religious leaders, and 81% of high school bullies end up in management

83 Handling the Neurotic Company • All people / organizations exhibit some neuroses – Conspicuous consumption (i.e. over eating / using) – Constant need to check on others, micromanagement – Shooting messengers of bad news to solve problems • Criticizing (even constructively) only makes them worse – better to overload them with unimportant information, affirmations, gifts, 1-on-1 mirroring 18 – Post-trauma → “distraction therapy” overload with info – Compulsive → provide affirmation esp. for failed efforts – Prevalent depression → extra kindness and small gifts – Denial → one-on-one focusing on mirroring behaviors

84 Talking With A Narcissist • Repeatedly find agreements, even the weather, and get closure (confirm, close, & leave a topic) • Sitting is better than standing for being calm • Never validate their self-destructive delusions • And, avoid trying to disprove their perceptions • Be assertive and keep positive: never say, “No” • No hedging or dilution such as “I feel awful, but” • Persuade by focusing on interests, not positions • Ask problem-solving and implication questions that use their cooperation for building solutions

85 Types of Personality Disorders • Borderline Personality Disorder: wide mood swings, rage, idealization and devaluation – BPDs are the most difficult to read and deal with • Narcissistic Personality Disorder: feels superior and entitled to getting special treatment • Histrionic Personality Disorder: needs chaos • Anti-social Personality Disorder: disregard for societal rules and demonstrates little empathy • Dependent Personality Disorder: preoccupied with their own helplessness and passivity

86 Personality Disorder Overview • Rigid and adversarial relationship perspectives – Chronic inner distress (fear of abandonment) causes excessive need for diminishing and controlling others – Experts at blaming others (always better than self) – Lying is often justified by hidden agenda or revenge – Motivated only by personal reasons (“Christ within”) – Often uses intense fits in order to fool the naive person • So, address their key P. A. S. S. emotional needs – Power: often associated by the “power of the purse” – Affiliation: they may need a new identity by association – Status: they need to feel important, visible, and special – Security: their need for safety overrides everything else

87 Handling Personality Disorders • Challenge carefully their attitudes about their role in any negotiations, the accuracy of their views, high expectations of the world to go their way, and focus on reducing any and all their anxieties • Maintain control of conversation, slowing down to keep the conversation simple and well focused • Here, one-on-one isn’t best; better to use a team • Brainstorm solutions, get validation from those they value, identify their particular strengths, and encourage them to be part of the solution in order to support their wholly desperate need for control

88 Did You Hear? Use A Team! • Use a pair of mature, autonomous salespeople where one is the closest possible customer copy – If prospect is a woman, have a woman on the team – If an engineer, best to have an engineer on the team • Thus, best to work with multi-person diverse team – Varying age, gender, speech pattern, background, etc. • In general, PDs are more focused and organized; team will help maintain control of the conversation – Ask neutral, circular, hypothesizing (to lead) questions – E.g.: One team member could ask the other, “What do you see as the biggest challenge being faced here?”

89 78% Say Rudeness Increasing • Likely unstimulated people feeling a lack of control – esp. working with those of slower tempo under pressure to produce in a hostile and uncreative STJ environment – Connection to victims from hating what they can’t face – Absence of parental involvement and repeated threat of rejection for children will develop either bully or victim • And, people act according to the prevailing culture – With men likely to be more rude only to underlings – And, women equally rude to superiors and subordinates • Repeat offenders without conflict resolution skills often end up being passive and then explosive

90 Because Rudeness Sadly Wins • Univ of N. Carolina of 1,400 showed rude people 19 are 3 times more likely to be in higher positions – Workplace bullying linked to over a third of all stress illnesses (www.workingwounded.com, Joyner 2001) – “If you had to brand managers with psycho jargon, they’d be STJs on the Myers-Briggs personality test” – 20 psychologist Ted Bililies (Investment Leadership ) – Harvard’s Teresa Amabile “Creativity in the workplace get killed much more often than it gets supported.”21 – Otto Krueger (Type Talk at Work with Janet Thresen), “Striving for efficiency, managers may produce a work 22 force full of hostility, stress, and absenteeism.”

91 Types of Rude People • Reactive: poor socialization skills, poor inhibition, low verbalization skills, rapid escalation of anger, common subject of “anger management” referrals • Instrumental: more competent, very possessive, see others as needing them, and sees controlling behavior as good and so no remorse. Consistent with a borderline, bi-polar, or “closet” narcissist. • Antisocial: uses relationships to further other interests and does not develop such dependent attachments as the instrumental personality; just needs to relieve the sense of being controlled.

92 Professional Victims • Less experienced; are more naïve and trusting – Blame themselves, finding it difficult to read people – Always puts the needs and feelings of others first – Often are high energy, hard working, and focused • Feel they have no control and few alternatives, often embarrassed although ambivalent about it • Psycho-physiological reactions include fatigue, backaches, headaches, and inability to sleep • Displays weaknesses: being depressed, upset, and discussing it openly marks them by bullies • Bullies and victims have stereotypical relationship views plus overwhelming fear of powerlessness

93 Handling A Bully Or A Victim • Use a positive approach to get positive results – See rudeness / victim-ness as challenging not difficult – Do they need professional help or stress / overloaded? – See sales opportunity left by others just giving up early • Start neutral; be clear and direct; use light humor • No hedging like “Sorry, I feel awful about this” • Never “this is just how it is” or start extreme then back off – as both force the person to save face • Be empathetic and never address anger directly • Use follow-ups for cooling down & getting off self

94 If You’re The Bully / Victim • Do you hear yourself saying, “I can always do better” or “I need to be in control of my feelings?” • Joke about being OCD? (Which is actually more likely for a Social Phobic than OCD personality) • Assertive Communication Training for withdrawn victim; Empathy Training for disassociated bully • Social Skill and Sensitivity Reduction Training for hyper-vigilance “trust issues” common to both • Time Management (Daily Log) for avoidance • May need family intervention and couples therapy

95 Empathetic Better Than Active • Active Listening is not only about listening to the words, intonation, and observing body language but also about asking key open-ended questions – Analytical, empty of two-way emotional involvement • Empathetic Listening is about more than getting key information in a non-judgmental way using good etiquette (often for a manipulative motive) • But, empathetic listening includes reactions with feedback and checking emotional understanding – Honest in expressing disagreement (civilly) while also expressing genuine interest in the other’s opinion

96 But, Facilitative Is Best • Facilitative Listening goes beyond empathetic as it implies you are able to facilitate other person’s need to communicate (building safe boundaries) – Being self-aware to exercise caution for the other (more than getting past the “words” to the meaning) – And so, more than achieving desired outcomes • This requires you have thought (and practiced) very carefully what you will ask and how you will respond – including providing timely pauses – to facilitate seeing and understanding all the options – Devoid of any selfish motives other than to help

97 23 Handling Everyone Else • Drivers like to dominate proceedings: you must not challenge this desire but be mildly submissive by only offering suggestions (“Power” strategy) • Communicators are motivated most by new ideas and the opinions of others (“People” strategy) • Planners dislike conflict and so need more time to decide as well as guarantees (“Promise” strategy) • Analysts focus on the details on implementation and maintenance tasks (“Proof” strategy) • Assertive: Power/People; Open: People/Promise; Passive: Promise/Proof; Controlling: Proof/Power < Which style above would best sell to you? >

98 Perhaps, Shock For Stubborn • Cop answers domestic violence call – they don’t want him there – he passes right by the couple in heated debate (they pay him little attention), reads a paper for a while, makes a mock phone call during which he yells, “What do you mean this is tool late to call!” to first get their attention. – See George Thompson’s Verbal Judo (1993) 24 • Salesperson works all morning making hundreds of small icons to throw out of a bag as soon as she enters a sales call and yells, “These are the customers you’ll gain by using my services!” Her assistant cleans up as she continues her pitch.

99 Shock Value (continued) • William Booth would often talk to his umbrella like a madman in order to attract a crowd and was so confrontational England’s Lord Shaftesbury even called him the Anti-Christ. But, he attracted over half of London’s Christians to his churches and his Salvation Army is now in over 100 countries! – Business guru Peter Drucker called the $2 billion a year charity unique among all charities and “By far the most effective organization in the United States. No one even comes close to it in respect to clarity of mission, ability to motivate, measurable results, dedication, and putting money to maximum use.” (Forbes, August 11, 1997)

100 24 Verbal Judo • Best way for a cop to get hospitalized is by laying down the law with lines like, “I’m not going to say this again!” and “Why don’t you be reasonable?” – Parents, judges, etc often similarly kill all win-win opportunities; only really useful when not expected – The same is true of the ageless positional negotiating minuet that starts with an extreme anchoring point and tends to lock participants into positions to save face • In the real world, egos and codependences often produce settings that simply prevent mutual gains – Learn how to use words and phrases to lead, persuade, clarify, diffuse, and navigate nearly any situation; avoid ego mistakes as well as learn communication profiling.

101 Pathology Review • Any person or organization that does not perceive its own pathology will eventually self-destruct – Usually by refusing to see internal problems and then projecting troubles (and “solutions”) on external sources • People never say what they mean - Virginia Satir – E.g.: 80% of products popular in surveys never sell! • Mental health begins with consciousness – Serge refers to this higher-order as spiritual “Presence” – Determine if current solutions have been coerced • Focus on future and goals, not past or present – Start by defusing anger with agreement, say yes a lot – Suzette Elgin’s The Gentle Art of Verbal Self-Defense 25

102 Exposure Behavior Theory • EBT assumes behavior is based on avoidance – avoiding things we fear: heights, failure, people • Accordingly, direct confrontation of the “monster” would be best way to overcome irrational fears • Goal is thusly to flood client with “monster” issues – Ask imposing, intrusive, uncomfortable questions, but only after reinforcing what they’re doing right • Allow your weaknesses be your strengths; when Apostle Paul prayed about his physical problems, God said, “Strength is revealed thru weakness”

103 Hidden Emotion Theory • HET assumes anxious behavior is based on one being too accommodating by avoiding feelings • Goal is therefore to expose the hidden feelings, address and resolve the underlying problems – “How would you feel?” “How might others feel?” • Problem not in past; it’s right now, but hidden – Must understand client’s emotional point of view • Being ready with ways to minimize their fears – “Stop letting other people cheat you out of the income you deserve” “Your life may depend on this information”

104 Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy • CBT assumes behavior is based on our thoughts; not any objective reality of people or situations – How you think is how you feel so think better – First, thinking must be “monitored” to be altered – Requires one be verbal, independent, and reflective • Active Socratic confrontation by asking questions, “How do you know this to be true?” to rationally challenge their self-destructive unauthentic ideas – We all think we must be perfect and loved by everyone – Trust is first required to help build critical thinking skills – The secret is Think Stopping: “No, wait. Slow down.”

105 26 Ellis’ ABC’s of Irrational Beliefs • A: Activating event triggering negative thinking • B: Belief triggered (or transferred) by this event • C: Consequence of ensuing dysfunctional feelings • D: Dispute feelings: question other possibilities • E: Effect of dispute: new emotional consequence • Goal is to challenge & reframe ABC progression – No need to understand any personal childhood issues; focus on adult strengths for self-soothing self-validation – ABC plan focuses on conflicting beliefs to produce new feelings and reengineer personal goals (to improve the behavior and not the psyche) from rationality & control

106 Sport’s Self-Talk • All about gaining control to make solution-minded positive goal statements you want to come true, such as “How am I going to make this happen?” – See yourself doing / saying what you what to do / say • Your mind set should not be about whether you’ll make a mistake but how fast you can recover. Take one thing at a time, living in the moment. • Practice feeling in your “New Brain” and removing extra thoughts, like anxiety, from your “Old Brain” – Don’t try to control everything practice just doing it! • This has NOTHING to do with “The Secret!”

107 Not Necessarily Introspection • Behaviorists showed long ago that self-reflection was unreliable, providing only subjective gains – We’re all thieving liars - the MMPI personality test uses as proof you're a liar if you refuse to admit you’re a thief • Hence, the need for extrospection or external observations (preacher, teacher, a salesperson) – But, the external observer can still engage someone in “thinking aloud” to better understand their perspective • Discriminate and debate unrealistic demands from ignored rational solutions, “Where is it written?” – Creating transforming ideas for benefits of your product

108 27 The Satir Process • Making contact: slow down and pay attention to your breath, thoughts, as well as those of others • Validating: value your resources, and of others • Becoming Aware: of your inner process and behavior, as well as conscious of those of others • Opening: gain insight of people’s differences and acceptance of resulting strengths & contradictions • Conscious Choosing: helping yourself and others • Seeking / Giving Support: proactively seek and give support when needed, “How can I help?”

109 The Five Verbal Profiles (And, what they say in a stuck elevator) • Computer: “There is undoubtedly some perfectly simple reason why this elevator is not moving. Certainly, there is no cause whatever for alarm.” • Placater: “Oh, I hope I didn’t cause this.” • Blamer: “Which one of you idiots did this?!?” • Distracter: “Did one of you hit the Stop Button? Oh, I didn’t mean that; of course none of you would do anything like that! Why do things like this happen to me? There must be a reason.” • Leveler or Phony: “Personally, I’m scared.” < Which sounds like what you might say? > See Virginia Satir’s Peoplemaking (Science and Behavior Books, 1972)28

110 The Five Non-Verbal Profiles • Computer: “Stiff, rigid, moving little as possible” • Placater: “Cling and fidget and lean on others” • Blamer: “Shake their fists or index fingers; they scowl and frown and loom over people” • Distracter: “Again cycle though the other modes with their bodies just as they do with their heads” • Leveler or Phony: “Distinguished by the absence of rigidity, fidgeting and leaning, & shaking hands; words and actions in harmony with true feelings can sometimes be mistaken for flaming blamer” < Which looks like what you might do? >

111 The Underlying Fears • “Computer” (Earth force): afraid of own feelings • “Placater” (Water force): afraid that people will become angry and never come back again • “Blamer” (Fire force): afraid there is no real love • “Distracter” (Wind force): in full-time chaotic panic • “Leveler” (Emptiness force) displays genuine feelings and is, of course, the easiest to handle • The hardest to spot, sadly often found in sales, is the “Phony Leveler” (Evil force): fear losing control and disappearing (needing to control to feel real) < Which primary force or fear drives you? >

112 Comparing Profile Theories Ancient Dr. Satir M. Gladwell DISC Earth Computer Maven/Teacher Conscientious Water Placater [Technical] Steadiness Fire Blamer Salesperson Dominance Wind Distracter Social Connector Influence • Malcolm Gladwell’s “The Tipping Point” seems to refer to the Computer, Blamer, and Distracter, as the Maven (or Teacher), Salesperson (persuader) and Social Connector (who likes casual meetings) • “Technical” profile is not an effective change agent • DISC provides corresponding VALUE profiles

113 Lack of Self Differentiation • Both Bullies (Fire) and Victims (Water) depend on external approval; Bullies push, Victims pull • Rebels only fake “Self” by opposing all positions – Either extravert (Wind) or seeming extrovert (Earth) • All threatened by debate: one adjusts just too quickly, one overly demanding, one builds walls • But, such emotional responses to conflict is far better than no emotions at all (the sociopath) • No getting better, only aware & less at mercy to momentary feelings (“sin free while still sinning”)

114 Typical Conflict Resolutions • Power Balance: balancing control challenges, often by excessive attention to each other’s faults • Bullying: one successfully forces (with facts and chaos by Rebel or guilt by Bully/Victim) the way all others think and act (with group’s permission) • Victiming: group agreement to project anxieties onto but one member who then takes the “fall” • Emotional Distancing: group agrees to back off to reduce conflict intensity – new relationships often overly important (rebounds) with increased blame for others (Fire/Wind) or self (Earth/Water)

115 Group Theory Metrics • Boundaries: rigid/unclear roles or easy to speak • Power: but one dominator - or - team like equality • Freedom of expression: feelings hidden or open • Warmth: fun at someone’s expense or good times • Negotiation skills: forced compliance or unit amity • Moving from dysfunctional to healthy requires everyone’s input to identify cultural influences, problems, goals, as well as potential solutions – we all know about danger of a “2-legged stool” • Will group (and each member) help or hinder?

116 Group Theory (continued) • While stereotyping bad, people do tend to behave in ways consistent with their group memberships • Habits passed on (cultural) so individual, family, & business problems are always generations deep – So, you must involve not just all the current members, but memories of founders and group heroes as well • When we hear words like Banker, Preacher, or Lumberjack, we have common images stronger than all the facts, guilt, and chaos in the world – So, you must either involve all their prejudices as well or just face the simple fact that no sale is possible

117 Don’t Deal With What They Say • Important to understand power presuppositions (suggestions of power in a given linguistic stimuli) – E.g.: Even you should be able to understand this! • Power is commonly called a net zero sum product – This means either you have it or someone else has it – Must be on higher ground for the ethical use of power • Concede minor points to focus on important ones • Start as “Computer” and identify negotiation style – Compromise, helping, collaborate, avoid, or compete • Use bridging, clarifying, and strategy questions – To demonstrate concern and clarify other’s objectives

118 Review of Resolution Process • People don’t give up as invested in being right – Probe for vested assumptions, goals, and processes • Talk fast – but, slow down thinking & responses • Understand types of people and behavior styles • Conflict resolution is a process and not an end • Learn to make peace with the impossible person – Practice saving face and being a grace dispenser • Use your own profile to develop an action plan for your own emotional and spiritual growth • Finally, learn to avoid being the difficult person

119 Neuroeconomics • Draws on neuroscience, economics, business research, and psychology to confirm emotions (e.g.: hope and fear) form most economic choices – Simple pleasure of product vs. pain of losing cash (can explain why consumers spend more with credit cards) – New brain thinks, Middle brain feels, Old brain decides – Selling Probability = Pain x Claim x Gain x Old Brain – Consumers often can’t articulate what they want and properly helping them requires finding higher ground • Unconscious “priming” of brand loyalty (“love”) and assimilation requires a repeated message

120 29 What Is The “Old Brain?” • Old Brain limits decisions and what Middle Brain sensory information will make it to the New Brain – Self-centered: center of “ME” for survival and well-being – Needs contrast: comparisons allow for quick decisions – And, concrete: appreciates simple, easy to grasp ideas – Short term: remembers only first and last Impressions – Visual: sight is processed 25 times faster than hearing – Emotional: key to memory success (and transferences) • Renvoise says diagnose the pain, differentiate the claim, demonstrate the gain, deliver to Old Brain – Don’t say, “We are leaders...” But, “We are the only...”

121 Determining The Old Brain Pain • Open questions, summarize, give them the “pen” – Or, 10-20 in-depth interviews to find team motivations • What is the number one pressing problem? – Marketing is defined as positioning a bike, bus, or car as best solution to living a mile from work – BUT, it’s first promoting living a mile from work to problem status – Selling too early may miss bigger problem and sale • Explore for what is the source, intensity (time and money spent on solution), and timing of the pain? – Loss of money, business control, personal energy – Take data from Competitive & Leadership Assessments • Then, raise the unconscious to the conscious

122 Raising The Unconscious • Conscious thinking makes only 5% of decisions – Harvard psychologist Daniel Wegner states,” The illusion of will is so compelling that it can prompt the belief that acts were intended when they could not be.” – Many more units are sold at $9.99 than at $10.00 – Metaphors: Koala for warm and Polar Bear for cold • Understanding our metaphors and myths can help access what we really think and feel inside – Response latency, voice stress, and particular word pairings can also indicate “demons” in responses • A backdrop of diverse experiences as well as a restlessness for quality can help raise the “dead”

123 Only Reason Sales Fail: Respect (After being unqualified: no use, budget, or sign off) 1. You don’t respect the buyer or experiences – Is your solution for a problem they don’t even have? – Are you ignoring prospect’s preferred buying patterns? 2. You don’t respect yourself or your profession – Be a life long student and learn how to say “No!” 3. You don’t respect your products and/or services – Know your strengths & markets or, find another line Respect comes from deep passions and strong convictions – remember the effort you’ve made, commit to a fair price, and then brag, brag, brag

124 Relationships Come First • Traditional Sales Approach is to – Smile and dial, great opening, wow w/ great numbers, let the buyer think he is calling the shots and your only client, and ask for referrals after a successful project • First, however, work to get out of your own way – Ask uninformed questions forgetting your product – Brainstorm to see all solutions, looking to “free” internal resources first to help them solve their own problems – Avoid the comfortable, seeking the emotional & difficult • As they want the story teller to be entertaining and persuasive – Get in touch with your values and how they define you, as we too often use only our heads and not our hearts

125 Selling First To The “Heart” • Logic automatically and unconsciously comes in only afterwards to justify decisions already made – Buyer states current vendor is deadline dysfunctional – Traditional sales advice is, “I understand. I have three surveys that rank us first in on-time performance.” – Better to talk from and to the heart, “Missed deadlines? That must have been very frustrating... I appreciate you being so honest with me. I could tell you we’re the most reliable – and we are. I can’t promise we’ll never make a mistake, but here’s how to contact me 24 / 7 ” • More risk = more emotion = less facts & numbers

126 Selling Is Not Informing! • Galileo proved to his students at the University of Pisa that Aristotle was wrong to say heavier items of similar size would fall faster, BUT the University continued teaching Aristotle’s reality >> He had taught but not persuaded << • Selling (as any changed behavior) doesn’t use teaching, debating, or even presenting skills – Intensity no substitute for long-haul value of integrity – So, Socrates (as did Christ) used questions to lead • Presentations & teaching come only after selling – If only Escalante, Coase, and van Gough knew sales!

127 van Gough, Coase, Escalante • Vincent van Gough sold only one picture in his life out of over 2,000 works (The Red Vineyard) • Ronald Coase was awarded the Nobel prize for Economics in 1991 for a paper he wrote in 1937 • Jamie Escalante sent more East LA HS students to college (& AP Calculus exam) than Hollywood HS, but after “Stand and Deliver” fame, he was reassigned to asbestos removal and kicked out – Alas, John Perex, VP of Teachers Union, explained afterwards, “Jaime didn’t get along with some of the teachers at his school; he pretty much was a loner.”

128 Persuasion Is Not Reason • The compliance or motivation by words, tone, etc. – Aristotle detailed 4 kinds of appeals: Ethical, Personal, Practical, and Rational (with the last being the weakest) • Best augment combines ethical and personal – Ethical: rooted in how people see you, your consistency – Personal: knowing their selfish best interests; “if they’ve something to gain or lose, you’ve got something to use” • Practical appeal best sold with offbeat humor – Broken rhythm in not doing what is expected in order to surprise and soften – also key to using all four appeals • Don’t rely on logic; lead them with open questions

129 Broken Rhythm 30 • Bruce Lee , perhaps the most accomplished martial artist, strongly believed “broken rhythm” was essential in overcoming others; dependence on routine and predictability (like practiced sales scripts), he said, produced a “classical mess” – Change target, technique, stance, pace, attitude, etc – Sales is about helping people decipher their values • Don’t sound like your reading a script; be more deliberate, practice different routines w/ surprises • Consider other perspectives, selling to different audiences (say, teenagers) while staying focused

130 The Most Persuasive Words • You • Save • However, the • Money • Safety number one • Commit • Sex word people most like to • New • Love hear over • Free • Proven and over is • Results • Discovery Their name! • Easy • Guarantee • Health • Why/Because

131 Persuasion Overview • More small talk needed for active extroverts than passive introverts (w/ more of a task orientation) • Develop a rapport based on a common ground – Look for clues from what’s hanging on their walls – Move to economy or light politics in social environment (or light personal topics when filling awkward silences) • Plan Ahead: your bottom line, their substitute, everyone’s interests, and all possible outcomes – Let your secret Plan-B help shape your Plan-A strategy • Persistence & patience for actions of commitment – Know best possible & minimum you are willing to walk away with: “Will you if you can’t do that, can you ”

132 Goal Is Always A Commitment • THE goal is a commitment based on a respect for your opinion and trust for your recommendations – Relationships only end from low commitment level (it is never due to communications, compatibility, or effort) • Most people are twice as likely to agree to even outlandish requests after agreeing to a small one – Group commitments also increase individual actions • Compliments based on smaller actions increases chances of making larger actions & commitments – Help people to positively see themselves as a buyer – Marketing is only about creating qualified sales leads!

133 Becoming A Change Agent (when products require new processes) • After assessing vision support, convey credible expectations with empathy and involvement for the pain and work a proposed change may bring – Persuasion is the fruit of efforts towards understanding • Kurt Lewin asserted change requires unfreezing the status quo, changing to a new state, and then refreezing the new change to make it permanent – Present deficiencies to arouse dissatisfaction to crisis – Get top support to tie rewards to use of new products – Establish new beliefs, target goals, stop rumours – Provide training & celebrate “death” of old system Unfreezing Movement Refreezing

134 The Status Quo Learning Curve Unfreeze Phase Change Phase Refreeze Phase Restraining Either decrease restraining Productivity Forces forces And, then expect temporary decline in performance before formalizing changes for Driving Or, increase improvement Forces driving forces Time “Today’s illiterate are not those who cannot read or write, but those who cannot learn, unlearn, and relearn.” -- Alvin Toffler

136 What Can Be Changed? • Culture – underlying values and goals • Structure – authority relations, coordination mechanisms, communications, and job design • Technology – processes, methods, tools, etc • Physical Setting – workplace space and layout • People – skills, expectations, and behaviors • How can such changes help sell the product? Culture Structure Tech Physical People nology Setting

137 Organizational Kinetics (innovative products require a crisis) • Organizations tend to move in straight lines until impacted by collisions with other social groups – Inertia is the tendency to maintain the status quo – Best motivator is thusly competent competition (crisis) • Inert Organizations rarely adopt innovations, are focused on survival, and fail to constantly test • Dynamic Organizations are fast, active, learning, proactive, and agile enough to “create change” • Peter Drucker said, “The best way to deal with the future is to create it. By the time you catch up to change, the competition is ahead of you.”

138 Six Crisis Forces For Change • Workforce is more culturally diverse and many employees are lacking in the most basic skills • Technology is replacing narrow, routine tasks with those requiring team, multi-tasking efforts • Economic Shocks such as Asian real estate collapse and Russian devaluation of the ruble • Competition is more global, involves more mergers, and includes more Internet commerce • Social Trends include delaying marriage, anti- smoking attitudes, and the popularity of SUVs • World Politics such as U.S. embargo of Lybia, Soviet collapse, and Black rule in South Africa

<Home> 139 #4: Enemy Mine • Effective interaction begins by looking inward – At the well-being of your company as well as yourself – “Whoever has a why to live for can overcome any how” • Integrity is good, but where does a firm begin? – Learn BSC, AIE, SWOT, CSF, Mission, Values, Vision • Personal makeover by embracing incompleteness – Senge: “[Quality] starts with turning the mirror inward” – Lewin: “You cannot understand unless you change it” • Finding the higher ground (for trust & openness) – With faith, urgency, better relationships (and sleep!) • Social Proofing: as the last step of marketing is sales so, the last step of sales is marketing

140 INTEGRITY To be “true” to oneself, one needs admirable goals, a clear understanding of where one will and can stand, a process of honest review, and a day-to-day plan for how to get things done and paid for.

141 In business, these concepts are formalized in

142 Mission Statement An unidentified soldier in WWII that could not state his mission was automatically shot.

143 SWOT Analysis Strengths, Weaknesses, Opportunities, and Threats.

144 Marketing Plan That is updated quarterly.

145 Implementation Plan With good time and resource performance metrics.

146 Financial Plan Including a Working Capital Policy.

147 These five concepts, however, can carry a real punch only when they are based on a strong and legitimate

148 Vision “Great minds have purposes, others have wishes.” Washington Irving “Where there is no vision, the people perish.” Proverbs 24:18

149 Sounds Good, But How to Start? • Looking inward for business planning starts by work on Balanced Scorecards (BSC), SWOT analysis, Critical Success Factors (CSF), and shared Vision, Mission, and Values Statements – 2/3 of firms utilize some sort of Balanced Scorecards • Glossary: “The measures appearing on the Scorecard should link together in a series of cause and effect relationships.” – SWOT: leverage strengths and market opportunities and minimize weaknesses and competitive threats – CRM of key relationship marketing success factors • Vision states what the company intends to be (basis of culture), mission states strategic goals to fulfill vision, values define action boundaries

150 31 Balanced Scorecards (BSC) An organizational tool to translate a mission strategy into objectives and measures organized by four perspectives: Customer (delivery, cust. sat., retention), Financial (cash flow, ROI), Processes (no. of projects, success rate, defects), and Growth (promotions, Customer, Financial, Business illness, turnovers) Processes, Learning & Growth From http://www.balancedscorecard.org/BSCResources/AbouttheBalancedScorecard/tabid/55/Default.aspx

151 Based on an Understanding of the 32 Basic Building Blocks of Strategy 1.The economic model of key levers driving financial performance 2.The value proposition of target customers 3.The value chain of core business processes 4.The top critical enablers of performance improvement as well as change and learning From http://www.worldofhr.com/Balance%20Score%20Card.ppt

152 BSC Follow-ons • Applied Information Economics (AIE) based on information value from decision theory and risk analysis for a set of reasonable alternatives – HowToMeasureAnything.com by Douglas Hubbard 33 – Generally, Excel spreadsheet analyzing to maximize – BSC clarifies investment alignment with vision, builds consensus, and prioritizes customers needs while AIE quantifies costs, benefits, and risks of investment • Cost Benefit Analysis (CBA) is an accounting method to weigh total costs against benefits in $ (everything can be measured in terms of dollars)

153 SWOT Analysis Internal What strategies • Strengths should be used to • Weaknesses optimize your strengths and take External advantage of your • Opportunities (as well as your • Threats competitor’s) weaknesses? Required to be a strategy or purpose driven

154 INTERNAL FACTORS Strengths (S) Weaknesses (W) EXTERNAL FACTORS WO Strategies SO Strategies Generate Generate strategies here that strategies here that Opportunities (O) take advantage of use strengths to opportunities by take advantages of overcome opportunities weaknesses ST Strategies WT Strategies Generate Generate Threats (T) strategies here that strategies here that use strengths to minimize avoid threats weaknesses and avoid threats From Electronic Commerce: A Managerial Perspective © Prentice Hall, 2000 34

155 Critical Success Factors “What criteria “How can we determine who will be acquire this our most profitable Customers customer in the customers?” Acquisition most efficient and effective way? Customers Relationship Customers Selection Marketing Retention “How can we “How can we keep increase the loyalty Customers this customer for as and the profitability Extension long as possible?” of this customer?” Gartner’s Model of Customer Interaction From Electronic Commerce: A Managerial Perspective © Prentice Hall, 2000 35

156 Vision Mission States what the company States what the company Purpose intends to be like and intends to do and intends to intends to become achieve Guide the development and Guide the development and Use implementation of cultural implementation of strategic and marketing plans business and financial plans On what the company is to On what the company is to Emphasis be, in the internal do, in the external environment, on a environment, on one-time continuing basis basis for reachable goals On people, principles, On customers, products, Focus values, beliefs, and other competitors, and other elements of the Internal elements of the External Environment Environment Very short, simple, and Highly specific, detailed, and Nature vivid, so that everyone can measurable, so that understand, remember, and successful execution of visualize it for motivational strategic plans can be purposes accurately assessed Managing Corporate Culture, Innovation, and Intrapreneurship Odwin, Howard W. 1997 36

157 A Values Statement by All (Or Guiding Principles) A substantive effort by all members to identify the key values believed to be more important than money to define the boundaries that will support the creation of an organization that performs well, sustains itself, and creates a positive environment. – Be open to change and risk failing to get better – Support trust, openness, honesty, and credibility – Management style, cultural beliefs, and motivations – Leadership (influence) to bring out the best in people Talent may win games, but leadership (rallying vision) wins championships

158 Finding The Higher Ground • Starts with shared team vision and management with clear objectives and appropriate measures – Be known for honesty, respect, faith, collaboration, results, and modeling a fanatical commitment to quality – Leadership that encourages bottom-up coordination will be more effective in maximizing interaction capital – A Six Sigma team charter spells out a consensus 37 – Use of paired, mature, autonomous salespeople for new markets with constantly changing requirements • At least weekly reviews, training, and mentoring – Review often how success is defined and measured • Neither good or poor reviews should ever be a surprise

159 Or, Organizational Faith • When top sales performers are interviewed, they always talk about their substantial ability to get things done quickly within their own companies – This requires excellent internal networks filled with people that take full responsibility for their results • Which supports integrity being high on their list – that their customers can rely on them delivering what was promised (and, in fact, always more) – Credibility is built after delivery and spent on upgrades • If sale fails, break large sale into simpler component sales • Being supportive, however, doesn’t mean “soft” or giving away free advice, but learning together

160 Means Spiritual Higher Ground • Halbert Dunn introduced the concept of wellness in 1959 associated with today’s popular health and wellness programs, but he felt care goes beyond nutrition, weight control, and injury prevention as it also means dealing with one’s spiritual context. – Spirituality is about the quality of relationships (while religion focuses on theological doctrines and rituals) – Ellison Well-being, Owen Openness, and Shaw Trust 38 – Dr. Serge’s “presence” (key says Harvard Bus. Review) – Community and organizational service projects based on common values also help produce organizations To optimize the development of “human capital”

161 Maintain A Sense of Urgency • Fight complacency and baseless happy talk, work to set higher standards, and find external sources • Short-term results based on a strong & legitimate vision offer best chance for sustaining successes • Build a guiding coalition where everybody leads, everybody is responsible, and everybody acts • Develop strategies for how the shared vision can be achieved with specific steps and timetables • Broaden stakeholder attitudes about realigning business functions (active listening fundamental)

162 Basic Multisystemic Principles • Focus on building social capital with employee’s work colleagues, family, friends, and customers – SWOT analysis, action-orientation, 360 reviews for continuous measurable improvements, and whatever it takes to build altruistic pro-social support systems – Collectively brainstorm and successfully identify a specific behavior, the key success factors for change, and strengths in regards to associated social factors – Address control and relationship issues to predict which type of problems are associated with which type of organizational structures and interaction patterns • Sales team management must take responsibility to provide an environment where all can succeed

163 Measuring Integrity • A Motorola executive once claimed his company only hired for character and then trained for skills • How can one determine character in an interview? Bill Gates asks: Why are manhole covers round? • He hires those that can say, “I don’t know.” But, I have found there are five levels of responses: 1. Using distraction to pretend they didn’t hear question 2. Making up an answer; temping with a little knowledge 3. Saying, “I don’t know.” this is good, but better is 4. Saying, “I don’t know, but this is how I would find out.” 5. Then, returning with the answer: hire all you can find!

164 It’s Fairly Easy To Do, But • We understand the value of business plans, but • Few companies actually produce them – Why? – McGregor’s X-Theory of motivation describes a popular belief that people dislike work and will avoid it if possible – Really poor choice “rewards” called “secondary gains” • More to the point, far fewer people create such documents for developing their personal integrity? – Afraid to appear incompetent or admit you’re failing to live up to such standards of integrity and planning? – Believe in McGregor’s Y-Theory of motivation in that you believe work in necessary to psychological growth but just don’t believe you have the time to do the work?

165 McGregor’s Motivation Theories X-theory vs. Y-theory • Man dislikes work and • Work is necessary to will avoid it if he can psychological growth • Must be forced to put • People want to be out the right effort interested by work • One would rather be • People can seek and directed than accept accept responsibility responsibility • Self-discipline is more • Man is motivated by effective and severe anxiety about security • Men are motivated by • Most men have little hope to realise potential creativity - except for • Creativity is widely getting around rules! distributed & underused

166 Famous Vision Statements • Henry Ford (1908): “To produce a car everyone can buy in order to democratize the automobile” • IBM: “To be the world’s best service organization” • IBM Accounts Payable: “To be the world’s best Accounts Payable organization” (saved $1 billion, won awards, created a major product for IBM) • Sony: “To be known for changing the worldwide poor-quality image of Japanese products.” • Harley-Davidson: “Fulfill dreams via motorcycling” • Pepsi: “Beat Coke.” (most famous short vision) • Martin Luther King, Jr: “I have a dream ”

167 Turn The Mirror Inward • Senge’s personal mastery (or health) is about continually clarifying and deepening our personal vision, of focusing our energies, of developing patience, and of seeing reality objectively. – This “starts with turning the mirror inward; learning to unearth our internal pictures of the world, to bring them to the surface and hold them rigorously to scrutiny.” p.9 – Drucker said, “Faith is not what today is so often called a ‘mystical experience,’ something that can apparently be induced by the proper breathing exercises or by prolonged exposure to Bach (not to mention drugs). It can be attained only through despair, through suffering, through a painful and ceaseless struggle.”

168 Personal BSC & Strategy Map • What are the areas of life that motivate you? – Career, health, religion, service, education, freedom • What are your key measurable area objectives? – What are your particular strengths and weaknesses – What are your ideals (or hero level) for each area? – Pick 3-4 most important with 1-2 metrics for each • Assess each ideal and goal by the dimensions of relationships with others, practices, and learning – Write a story board (or action plan) for accomplishing each goal from these perspectives. What support and education do you need? Which comes first or later? • See K. Rampersad Hubert’s Personal Balanced Scorecard 39

169 Epidemic Lack Of Engagement • The average American employee wastes more than two hours each day – $759 billion a year! – From incompatible personal and corporate visions • Marshal Goldsmith says the PBSC elements are divided among the following four perspectives: – Internal: your physical health and mental state (to create value for yourself and others): How can you feel good in your skin at work and in your spare time? – External: relations with your spouse, children, friends, employer, peers, and others. How do they see you? – Knowledge and learning: your skills and learning ability. How can you remain successful in the future? – Financial: financial stability: meeting financial needs?

170 Building A Personal Vision • How do you want to change the world? How do you want people to feel / behave towards you? • Who were your favorite childhood heroes? Mine were Mary Poppins and Serpico as I most value never selling out as well as making chores fun. • What most motivates you? For me, it’s learning. • Better is a “Vision Story” bringing such answers to life: how can you use this story to get “unstuck?” – Rich Dad Poor Dad’s Rob Kiyosaki made his million dollar career from mocking his real “poor” Dad’s failed dreams for education reform. Was father or son right? • Use your answer to suggest your ideal employer and/or job

171 “A” Level Sales People • How Ed Zore differentiates “A” and “B” level sales – Good work habits with at least 3 appointments a day – High degree of integrity for building relationship trust – And, ever higher level of product knowledge / expertise • “Finally, you have to be willing to collaborate 40 because the competition is getting tougher.” – Can collaboration and competition live side by side? – End-to-end firms now fail in the “New” economy where the most valuable skill is networking for partnerships as overprotecting markets #1 reason for growth to plateau – The same is becoming true for employees – we need to trade tasks within strengths for ones needing more skill

172 Embrace Your Incompleteness • You have skills (networking) and traits (OCD) that may be better suited to certain tasks and others (deadline deficient and disliking low stress tasks) that make you a poor match for things like doing data entry for customer data for the firm’s CRM • It may be time to job share – by tasks, not hours! – Marketing was started this way, to do “boring” research • A pair of sales people with different personalities not only provides success in more environments, better accountability, and delegate tasks at home – Say, one better for paperwork and one for cold calling

173 Premise of Idea Infection • The effects of our childhood and friends are far greater than nature (genetics) on our choices – A narcissistic mother passes her disease to her child just as likely as an HIV mother (the child has little say); thus, here are more new self-help books for narcissistic children of self-absorbed parents than even diet books • In truth, we never make our decisions alone! – Neurotic behavior is the transference of repressed events into our daily decision-making: such as sex without love, drugs without illness, food without hunger – Complexes are split-off psychic fragments from trauma as others primarily determine our picture of ourselves – People often commit crimes from perverted risk needs

174 Object Relations Theory (and Organizational Behavior Theory) • Describes how interactions develop one’s thinking • Self Psychology integrates modern systems theory to develop a unifying framework of subjectivity – Shows wide disparities between a structured worldview and archaically organized thinking will often produce chronic misunderstandings where, say, a client is seen as difficult and a salesperson is seen as un-attuned – The resulting relationship borderline personality disorder is based on internal conflicts and primitive defenses; the developing relationship naturally becomes a hindrance • BPD therapy suggests maintaining an unemotional search for client self-awareness and new thinking

175 Borderline Personality Disorder • “Genetic” sensitivity to invalidating environments – An invalidating environment is clinically defined as one in which a person’s feelings are discounted as either inaccurate or inappropriate with common comments like “problem solving would be easy if only you were more motivated,” “had better character,” and “didn’t get angry” – Where focus is on the individual called Entity Theory • Organizational behaviors are based on the same crucial factors that set the stage for individual personalities; thus, they likewise often exhibit deviant and irrational behaviors and can similarly benefit from psychotherapy efforts – Start the conversation talking about someone else

176 Psychology Genetics • What if displacement and disillusionment create a “psychological genetics” within a people that has eliminated all opportunities for recovery? • All communication books assume we’re able to make rational choices (most assume the same about the other person), but none address in plain language how to make good choices and clear communication when everyone’s broken – Life Rule #1: the things that most upset us in others are just those issues we refuse to see in ourselves thus, it’s always easier to have good advice for others

177 Narrative Therapy (NT) • Moses came to the King of Egypt with ten plagues and dire warnings, but the story was for the Jews • Narrative Therapy allows a more open discussion by creating distance between effects and personal problems by talking about them in the third person – Helping us accept how we have become alienated from our own values, hopes, and commitments by being part of an socio-political “mob” for a self-destructive reality – Goal is the realization that problems are always larger than self and are being sustained by one’s environment • Rediscovered values are re-weaved back on top – Reintroduction of split-off ego only brings back hostile world our disorders were designed to defend against

178 Some Biblical Narrative Stories • The Bible is full of neurotic codependent misfits – but, they overcame their issues, not “cured” them (psychotherapy and religion too often encourages self-destructive behavior) with purposeful stories – Such as codependent passivity (“goodie” Sarah), rescuing (Abigail), avoidance (Jonah), anxiousness (Jacob), victim-ness (Joseph), failure (Saul), success (Solomon), suicide (Judas, Peter), depression (Elijah), grief (Job), adultery (David), and addiction (Samson) – Plus, physical issues like just being elderly (Abraham), unattractive (Leah), poor health (Paul), poor (Gideon), speech problems (Moses), and unpopular (Zacchaeus)

179 Narrative Therapy Outline • One might have people compare their stories to legendary stories of great heroes and values to examine how one might get back on course – Key to the process are outside listeners who have dealt with similar problems and can share their testimonies – Thus, integrates well with the teamed sales approach • The targeted listener is then asked if any image in the shared struggles stood out and resonated with their own stories and how such epiphanies might be integrated into an improved version of their life – The associate does the same with the rewritten story

180 Externalize and Empower • One acknowledges the client’s problem-saturated dominate self-story but works for more articulation with continued clarifying and extending questions • Always use externalizing language (such feelings invaded their life rather than having such feelings) • Finally, identify potential audiences (whom would they most like to tell their story or discoveries, or whose input or stories might add the most value) • Provide rewarding statements for “their” ideas • All this empowers as well as opens parallel issues • Narratives (stories) can answer any objection

181 Narrative Therapy Limitations • Final goal is a step-by-step plan on how to mature – Helps “breaks the ice” before getting down to work – So, while building a subjective reference to understand quality, don’t discard the critically valid objective side • We want to unfreeze inaccurate political rightness and refreeze a healthier measurable worldview – No need to include the popular postmodern relativism or feminist “realities” tacked onto most narrative efforts – Goal is not to simplify creating customer satisfaction, but to teach improved critical thinking for the greatest sale and a sustainable long-term customer relationship • Even heroes like Batman overcame real problems

182 Personal NT Vision Quests • Primitive societies required youths to go on a “Vision Quest” to define a purpose and meaning for their lives BEFORE being considered an adult • Dr. Suler of Rider University recommends this: – Wander alone outside your home for at least four hours (no planned activities, but better if physically taxing) – Ponder on some inward issue or problem (perhaps as basic as “Who am I?”), but also let your mind wander – Expect an answer (or partial answer) to your question – Every half hour, sit and jot down the time, location, what has happened, and any thoughts or insights – After, summarize seeking a sign (for free association)

183 Control Old Brain = More $$$ • It’s not smarts, strength, or beauty but the ability to delay gratification with more reason and spirit – “Emotional Intelligence” coined by Salovey and Mayer – “Some people handle anger well but can’t handle fear. Some people can’t take joy. “ – Dr. Jerome Kagan • Develop goals and a direction, strategize actions, upgrade skills & environment, master psychology • The ability to plan, learn, and double-loop learn – building personal and external controls over the amygdale (whence comes delight, disgust, fear, anger) begins with developing emotional maturity

184 Emotional Development • Pull back from moments of anger, sorrow, shame and reflect (slow down) to see the real root cause • When alone, review actions (or consider ones undone) that are emotionally difficult and notice where in your body the feeling is the strongest – Like fears of clients leaving, cold calls, and hearing “no!” • Give that feeling all the energy and attention it needs to live, breath, and grow without analysis – Do this until it has burned away (may take several tries). We must embrace our feelings instead of just resisting them. Only then can we clear them and be free of them!

185 Reflective Thinking • Seek multiple interpretations of troubling events – Master inquiry skills in order to avoid hours of arguing and develop emotionally supportive environments • Dr. David M. Schnarch calls compromise the “tyranny of the lowest common denominator” – Take time to understand cause and effect connections • Work towards a shared “memory of the future” – Stimulating double-loop learning and bridging the gap between what you know and what you need to know by reviewing what is known, unknown, and assumed • Like active listening, it involves a lot of questions – Journaling helps one reflect on daily experiences

186 Get Enough Sleep! • The clinical sign of whether you have a sleep disorder is just needing an alarm to wake up • After about 18 hours without sleep, your reaction time doubles (continually getting worse) and then you’ll likely start 2-20 sec. bouts of “micro-sleep” – Another 2 hours and you’ll react as if legally drunk – 2 more hours your body signals for a lot more calories • Sleep is key to the preservation of brain cells! – Sleep improves memory, ability to learn, insightfulness – Similar benefits come from restful periods in the day – A night of sleep is even better than a night of studying

187 Building Energy For Sales • The greatest gift of any top performer is energy – Unskilled optimists outsells average by 21% - 57% – No excuses: great sales people are in there selling while poor ones are regularly just giving excuses – Know your prospects and attack their problems and aspirations systematically, so you can enthuse them • Build an atmosphere where it is OK to fail – “Learn to fail or fail to learn,” says Tal Ben-Shahar – Blow off steam at times with exercise or a fun hobby – Consider many sources for differing points of view – Network with colleagues and seek social support – Journal and review for continually better results

188 “If We Meet, Kill Me” • Don’t be a slave to the 8-second first impression – Buddha said, “If you meet me on the street, kill me” to teach that our first impressions (whether bad, good, or so good to seem like heaven) are always totally wrong – In the same way, the Bible’s Jacob (the deceiver) was renamed to Israel (fights with God) only after Jacob had defeated his poor first impression of man and God – The moral is we can truly know a person only after destroying our first impressions – or, emptying our cup • You want to likewise “kill” the customer so you’re selling to the real person and truly greatest need – Don’t assume, often question what you think you know

189 Don’t Blink, Think! 41 • Don’t blink key decisions says LeGault & Lewis – While emergencies & sales must sometimes make on the fly “Old Brain” decisions, most should be deliberate – W. Edwards Deming said, “Experience alone teaches nothing. If you do not have a theory as a framework to understand your experience, you do not accumulate 30 years of experience; you merely repeat one 30 times.” – “Learning that Lasts” collaborative inquiry & application • First step of Systems Thinking is to move away from knee-jerk intuitive “feelings” to establish the baseline and target, calculate gap, find problems, develop and implement a improvement process, and track with about six key metrics and adjust

190 Importance of Mentoring (#1 reason people quit is lack of training) When Individuals learn in an Next = Past + Now; Organizational organization only by themselves memory allows people to start where in a box, then the organization their predecessor left off, adding to develops a stagnant eyelash the organization’s knowledge and learning curve. continuing the learning process after a short startup period. EYELASH LEARNING CURVE RAPID LEARNING CURVE Old employee leaves with knowledge Ability to Ability to Do Job Do Job New employee comes on; picks up almost where previous employee left off. Time New employee Time begins 42 See Joiner, Brian l. (1994). Fourth Generation Management: The New Business Consciousness. New York, NY: McGraw-Hill, Inc..

191 Ignore “Personality Types” • A third of firms are giving personality assessments to applicants to ensure a “cultural fit” or to existing workers to “pigeonhole” communication efforts – All of loosely (without any research) based on MBTI – Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI): developed by a woman with only a political science baccalaureate after reading “Personality Types” by Jung (who didn’t believe in statistics and did no research). Jung believed in only using the categories of fun, duty, skills, and intimacy to show that people were different and specifically warned against the type of pigeonholing being done today. • 25 years of research shows they are not valid!

192 Every Enterprise And Person needs the standard RHETI Enneagram types for vision and confidence (Challenger), the ability to bring people together and listen to them (Peacemaker), ethical standards and quality control (Reformer), the ability to serve and anticipate people’s needs (Mentor), effective marketing and promotion (Achiever), a well designed product and sensitivity to its emotional impact (Designer), technical expertise and innovative ideas (Investigator), teamwork and self-regulating feedback (Troubleshooter), as well as energy and optimism (Enthusiast).

193 And, People Change • Studies show people often change measured personality types within six months and that tests often given in statistically poor ways (e.g..: with applicants getting help with their answers) • Plus, diversity is good and differences should get worked out in less than six months – but needs resolution and real communication skills • Real message is only that people are different and real quality is about handling differences in people with greater flexibility, creativity, and fun – Stability requires conflict and free flow of information

194 Stability Requires Change • Culture is emergent result of relational patterns – The core elements being the commitments made – Rather than being static – built on tornadoes of energy • In fact, stability comes from constant change – Diversity and free flow of information provide stability • Good, flexibly, creative discussions should – Identify the conclusions someone is making – Ask for the data that lead to the conclusion – Ask for the reasoning that resulted in the conclusion – Infer a possible belief or assumption person is making – And, test with feedback by stating your inference

195 Systems Thinker Thinking • Every system is designed to generate the results it is currently creating (and blaming doesn’t help) • Realize that all people and relationships change – Graphing trends of behaviors will show relationships • Consider different perspectives and feedback to see big picture & identify leverage opportunities – No quick decisions, even if everyone agrees to one • Irrational childhood beliefs coloring perceptions are but part of a systems language of people, characteristics, relationships, and environments that represents a self-sustaining energy system – Learn to focus on relationships to see the big picture

196 Avoid Positive Visualization • Beland suggests that before every test and class presentation that teachers should guide students in practicing positive visualizations, supportive self-statements, and relaxation techniques. – But clearly, no one ever wins simply by wishing • Marva Collins instead starts every K-12 class with – Shakespeare’s Richard the III on conscience, Aristotle’s essay views on ethics and virtues, Ralph Waldo Emerson’s “Self-Reliance,” and Plato’s “Republic” • Encouraging great values, “slow” practice with lots of feedback, and coaching team spirit is far better

197 Proverbs 23:7 • We have no real control over our chronological, intellectual, physiological, or emotional age – Nevertheless, many believe happiness is simply a state of mind one can select like deciding on a seasoning • There is nothing more popular in modern self-help literature than the concept of “positive thinking” – The most popular of these wishing texts is Steven Covey’s Seven Habits of Highly Effective People where the New Age practice of visualization is prominent • The original verse often misquoted from Proverbs 23:7 (“As a man thinks in his heart so he is”) has more to do with the source of our motivations.

198 Avoid Steven Covey • Covey’s material is speculative at best (with no published research for objective peer review) – His self-hypnosis techniques involve reprogramming oneself and are allegedly so powerful, “if you visualize the wrong thing you will produce the wrong thing” • Covey calls these LDS teachings in “The Devine Center” (Bookcraft, 1982) and they’ll “enable the individual to grow and develop until eventually he can become like [God]” (Devine Center, p. 246) • “It seems easier to be God than to love God, easier to control people than to love people, [and] easier to own life than to love life.” Henri Nouwen

199 Avoid Most Self-Esteem • Dr. Dyer’s “conflict with Ego” effect positive thinking has on inner peace is only the logical inconsistencies from our escalating self-esteem – Self-esteem development workbooks define the term as “one’s appreciative opinion of inner self-worth independent of the external world” (sounds good) – But, society often locks up people for their opinions (such as believing that they are Napoleon) when such are not consistent with the common worldview • Such self-esteem is an accurate measurement only of poor critical thinking resulting in a false self-image the clinical definition of insane

200 NOT All Opinions Are Valid! Hypotheses or Check with Valid Opinion Intelligent hunch IPO Analysis and Action (Input) (Processing) (Quality Output) Textbook All questions Theory and Controlled Critical Thinking means are “valid” Experiences identifying assumptions, issues, and criteria for “Wishful Thinking” judgment for making or “Blowing Smoke” sound conclusions 43 “Peacock” or “Weasel” from the evidence.

201 Avoid Just Getting Along • A 2006 Partnership for 21st Century Skills survey of HR showed a plea to educators to focus on producing graduates that were better at getting along rather than developing basic knowledge – The 5 skills most core to success in the workplace were said to be professionalism/work ethic, teamwork, oral communications, ethics/social responsibility/honesty, reading comprehension (math & science farther down) • A 1990 National Center on Education & Economy study stated “We found little evidence of a far- reaching desire for a more educated workforce.”

202 Dr. Jamie Escalante • East Los Angeles Garfield High School – Overcame strong racist attitudes – Built a calculus program that rivaled a handful of exclusive private academies and surpassed Hollywood High for passing AP Calculus exam – Over 400 math students a year (by 1990) • Reform required a new principal, Henry Gradillas – Previous one threatened to fire him for coming in early • Escalante’s students went on to graduate from MIT, Harvard, Yale, Berkeley, USC, and UCLA

203 Toughening Math Standards • First, 7-week summer sessions (every grade) to make up for poor Junior High math programs – Braving the ensuing wrath of the community • Then, tutoring Sessions before and after school – Open admission: anyone could join his classes! • Finally, increase standards for new teachers – He refused to hire teachers without the background – This is where he went too far, because quickly • This all meant some classes had 50 students – Alas, used by teachers union to get him dismissed – Then, teachers and aids Escalante hired were forced to quit, taking large pay cuts to move to other districts

204 Alas, No Room For The Best • John Perex, VP of teachers union, said, “Jaime didn’t get along with some of the teachers at his school. He pretty much was a loner.” (1990) • New principal that reassigned Jamie to asbestos removal said, “They’re just disgruntled former employees, such backbiting only hurts the kids.” • 2 years later, only 4 students passed AP Calculus – Sports fans would be outraged, for comparison, if a team showed such a change after replacing a coach • What’s up with a system that values working with others more highly than effectiveness?

205 “Sales Proofing” • Escalante failed to develop momentum from past successes by building marketing narrative relating to the disenfranchised parents and failing teachers • He failed to create a crowd of enthusiastic core cheerleaders for parents and teachers to mimic – Allowing few vocal sour grapes to create the “majority” • Most all people are imitators rather than initiators – Turkeys will even mother stuffed polecats that “cheeps” – Similarly, we laugh at obviously fake canned laughter • Market wins come from hinting everyone is buying – Effect strongest during uncertainty – so, create a crisis

206 Fire You, Then Them, Up! 44 • Carmine Gallo (author of Fire Them Up! and former anchor, host, business correspondent for CNN, FOX, CNET, and CBS) says to change the world, improve your business, or get ahead one must first master these skills (working inside out): – Ignite your own enthusiasm (from building energy) – Win with a consistent memorable vision (quests, BSC) – Sell benefits putting your listeners first (know thy self) – Tell powerful and actionable stories (1st about yourself) – Ask for input and deal with objections (growth plan) – Reinforce optimistic outlook (blow off steam, sleep, fun) – Encourage people to reach their potential (metrics)

<Home> 207 #5: Buyer Cycle Outline (supporting how buyers view buying45) • Who is the Buyer / Prospect? – Making buyer preferences and needs assessments • Buyer cycle behaviors and tailoring selling efforts • Cold call, follow-up meeting, and the trial close – Isolate objections, overcome, and summarize solution • Buyer Reactions (whether “yes,” “no,” or other) – Support the buyer and make the skeletons dance – Learn, don’t tell; and, position, don’t present • Closing (good opening, energy, & understanding) – Sample scripts for reactivating a stalled sales process

208 Who is the Buyer / Prospect? • A Prospect (often many people) influences sales – You spend time with suspects; you invest in prospects – Policy makers are the most powerful organizational members and control all long-term decision making – Financial Prospects control money (cost and credit) – Implementers manage a department (company image) – Users seek products that are safe, makes like easier, but mostly easy to use. They do not have the power to purchase but they can make the product look bad after deciding to reject it (treat them like speed bumps) – Multiple hats can be worn by a single person (ie CFO) • A Buyer is Decision Maker who’s already bought!

209 Primary Buyer Preferences • Emotional appeal: smell, color, and packaging • Logical appeal: performance, value, and usability • Four example primary considerations are: – Product: “What can it do and how well?” – Cost: “How much and is it worth it?” • Initial cost, total cost, discounts, value, and support = ??? – Company: “Can they be trusted to deliver?” – Seller: “Do you solve my problems or make money?” • Judged on knowledge (company, product, market, and competition), credibility (trust is first product), presentation, and attitude necessary for performance, quality, reliability, usability, reputation for quality, pricing and customer support • People buy the presentation (not the product)!

210 Verbal and Non-Verbal Clues • Look for verbal signals for a buying decision – Questions: “When can I have it?” – Positive Statements: “I like it.” – Requirements: “I need it.” • Look for non-verbal signals for a buying decision – Facial expressions such as a look of concentration – Body movements: for example, nodding in agreement – Mannerisms like leaning forward or an open posture • You may miss these – if you are unsure, ask a question to determine the level of acceptance – “When would you like it?” or “Do you like it?”

211 Web 2.0 Webinars • “Web 2.0” refers to trends of greater information sharing and inspiration with existing technologies – Live “cool” interactions (also Wiki and BBS systems) – GoToMeeting, WebEx, MS Live Meeting, Yugma, etc. – Helps global decision makers meet and decide to buy – 70% of tech purchases based on webinar/webcast info • Best meeting days are Wednesday and Thursday – Contact before and after, 30 min show with team Q&A, never do anything you haven’t practiced, & use headset – Little non-verbal clues: talk slower, more questions, use small talk with personal photos, & mouse click feedback – More “social networking” with Linkedin, Ryze, & Spoke

212 Needs Assessment • “Reaching your full potential? 90%? Or 70%?” • Why not? (alas, the buyer usually doesn’t know) – Likely could look better, attract more customers, and do a better job as compared to the competition but knowing them better than they requires higher ground • Could be non-specific or implied needs or explicit needs like local printing for faster brochures, our competition uses high- end desktop publishing software, or needs for training • Needs can be (or combination) – Emotional (to be liked, order by DM, or safety by user) – Organizational (performance, finance, or image) – Personal (power, recognition, or achievement)

213 Three Types of Personal Needs • Power: person enjoys taking personal control of any and all decisions that impact other people • Recognition: person enjoys work for its own sake and believes in rewards for exceptional effort • Achievement: person just wants to be liked • Power and Recognition often needs of upper mgt while Achievement more for middle management – Probing questions to help determine, then discussion of impact, & finally promotional material to move buyer – A computer, say, may improve work performance, but purchase likely driven by personal or emotional needs

214 Buying Cycle Buyer Behaviors • Buyers exhibit different behavior at each sales interaction (or stage) in the buying cycle, but not everyone starts at the same place. You must respond individually at each stage to be effective. • Unaware: buyer is satisfied, unaware of problems, and cannot relate problems to business objectives • Aware: buyer is forced to see a problem and size it up, but may not be able to influence purchase • Consider: when a buyer is aware of a problem, they naturally consider the consequences of not addressing (possibly less than cost of product)

215 Buyer Behaviors (continued) • Preference: after deciding to fix a problem, one begins to develop (generally emotional) attitudes about features and criteria for the “best” solution • Shop: buyer compares options to match buying criteria, usually emotional ones (focus of selling) • Buy: “closing the sale” after sales has effectively demonstrated product’s ability to meet criteria • Review: buyer then assesses value or logic to validate emotional preferences/agenda just used – Buyers need follow-up statistics to confirm purchases

216 Sales Efforts for Buying Cycle • Unaware: Fact finding – ask about personal and corporate processes which buyer is involved • Aware: Probe – ask about characteristics • Consider: Agree – ask to prioritize criteria • Preference: Influence – focus the buyer on buying criteria that best selects your product • Shop: Recommend – suggest your product if best; then other’s (always solve their problem!) • Buy: Close – after an effective presentation • Review: regular follow-up customer care calls

217 Buying Cycle Example • A sales manager has started hiring sellers with excellent product knowledge but no basic selling skills and does not think this to be the cause of a recent sales drop (“new hires should pick it up as they go along”). Which is the best solution??? – Larger performance-related bonuses – Comprehensive training program for all sellers – Commitment to hiring only experienced sellers in future • At the Consider stage, this manager looked at non-training alternatives as past instructor-led programs were too time consuming & expensive

218 Buying Cycle Example (Cont) • After being embarrassed in an executive meeting by numbers from dropping sales, this manager developed personal criteria to address problem – Low-cost training guaranteed to improve sales that is sufficiently flexible so as not to disrupt schedules • When sales go up from a small CBT purchase, more is purchased without considering if best • NO NEED, NO SALE (it is harder to sell to happy people): thus, probing questions that elevate problems with clear implications to crisis status – Re-examine priorities, criteria, options, personal needs

219 Start With Cold Call Openings “Good morning. I am ___ from ___. We ___.” “Can you help me with a few quick questions?” “How do you currently ___?” How long does it take to be successful? How much money, time, and space is currently devoted to this effort?” “Okay then, as far as I understand it, you have [problems]. But, also [good features]. If I was to show you a system that had all the same [good features] and none of the [problems] of your current system, how interested would you be?” “When would be best for a meeting to discuss it?”

220 You Must Give Before You Get • This starts with the tone set, the impression made, rapport built, & agenda positioned in the opening – Evaluate results with specific preset objectives/rubrics • “Mr. Customer, thanks for taking the time to talk with me. Mr. Referral said you were doing some interesting things in He may have mentioned we [Executive Summary (you, your product, & company, review your purpose and agenda for the meeting, and then bridge to needs)] To give me a better picture, what are you doing in Here are projects we have been very successful with.”

221 Three Rules Of Reciprocation • Rule #1: a person must return a favor – Purchasing doubles after receiving a small gift • Such as key chain, pen, address labels, or even just a soda – This is why Hare Krishnas insist on giving flowers – Corollary to Rule #1: works even if they don’t like you • Rule #2: small favor means you could do more – Large commitments twice as likely after small ones • Rule #3: a person must return a refused favor – If your won’t do me the “favor” of buying this large item, can I ask you to at least buy this small one? – Starting negotiations high but not unreasonable

222 Foot-in-the-door Technique • Ask a small favor, then keep asking bigger ones – People wearing a charity’s pin are likely to contribute • Or, ask three easy “yes” question, then trial close – “Do you feel your child’s education is important?” – “Do you think completing their homework important? – “Don’t you agree that a good set of reference books will help a child do well on their homework assignments?” • “Well then, it sounds like you’ll want to hear about this fine set of encyclopedias I have to offer at an excellent price. May I come in? No? Well, perhaps then you could help me out with a few referrals?”

223 Commitment Is The Key • If one takes ANY stand, likely to take another – Committing with “yes” to “Are you doing well?” doubles willingness to buy over just “I hope you are doing well” • Buyers are always twice as loyal as prospects – Possible with ANY small purchase (say, loss leader) • During Korean War, almost all American POWs became full-time collaborators and supporters of communism while the Chinese used NO torture – “Would you agree America is not perfect? Would you make a list of problems? Would you read your list – after all, it’s what you really believe? I quoted you!” – America tries to “win hearts” in Iraq with water boarding

224 Giving = Supporting the Buyer • A buyer may accept a statement – Always be ready to support a favorable reaction – Agree, expand to state advantage of product, and probe to further develop benefit of stated feature – Buyer: “You are reliable!” Seller: “Yes, that’s true! So, would an extended warranty be of interest to you?” • A buyer may ignore a statement – Ask more open questions (don’t lose your place or give too much information) – who, what, where, etc. are harder to shut down, use sight sellers, and try closing • A buyer may reject a statement – Listen, rephrase, test understanding, isolate, & answer

225 Supporting the Buyer (continued) • How would you like to be sold to? For me, you should not mail, call, or visit but rather e-mail. • And, always follow up with a thank-you note • Majority of sales happen after the fifth contact • Treat objections only as a request for more information “I had not fully communicated ” – Use questions to warmly effect a turn-around – When buyer is wrong, say “You’re right ...and, many people feel the same way. From years of experience, [NO however] I’ve found that in fact (insert the truth)” – Hearing the most “No’s” makes the most money!!!

226 Supporting the Buyer (continued) • Think of any objection as a positive process development which can likely lead to a close – “That’s a good point. I’m glad you mentioned it.” [with good eye contact, open and attentive body language, and with your head tilted to one side] • Rephrase as a question to clarify the objection: – “When you say the product is too expensive, is it that you are concerned about the value for your money?” • Explanation with more details, Revelation to remove smoke screen covering real issues, and Resolution with the buyer working out outcomes – In the end, acquire at least one referral per encounter

227 “Prospecting” by Zig Ziglar • Step One: “Mr. Smith, if your best friend were to walk in here at this moment, would you introduce him to me” [Of course] “Then, Mr. Smith, let me get you to do this: why not introduce me to your best friend who has a need for our service?” • Step Two: Get an introduction (phone or note) • Step Three: First ask for as many names as possible and then go back and ask for the details • Step Four: Ask for more: “Who do you jog with?” • Step Five: Ask to prioritize and finally report back

228 Concluding a Call • “Last impressions are lasting impressions” • Be relevant: relate to previous discussion • Be yourself: but also be adaptable • Think about the desire result (close sale, move forward on sale, schedule meeting, move up to decision maker, get reference for another sale) • Plan your conclusion carefully (reserving time for a proper conclusion) and thank them for time • Arrange follow-up, set next agenda, agree to action, get feedback, and thank the buyer

229 Follow-up Sales Meeting • Start talking about issues that tie to your solution • Recommend your product by describing features and payoffs that satisfy specified dissatisfactions – Needs arise from a problem with the situation as expressed either in vague or specific dissatisfaction No need, no sale! First concern is not the product • Try closing as you have demonstrated the action solves the stated needs, you have earned the right to close: “You have seen how our product can revolutionize your system. For you to benefit from this, I need your authorization to proceed.”

230 If Planning Another Meeting • 5 minutes before end: summarize the main points of presentation and arrange for next meeting – Be aware of info limit with no time limit or end early • Agree to actions to be completed (such as audit of the current working situation) and what you hope to achieve during next meeting (building the relationship, anticipation, and commitment) • Get feedback on needs, problems, and benefits – “How useful was this meeting?” (I found it really useful) – “Our product does so and so, are you happy with that?” – “How well did we meet your expectations?” • Thank the person for their time to meet with you

231 Before Concluding The Sale • Summarize how product/service solves problem – With the 3 main agreed benefits or key benefit points, identify recognition of the situation that the buyer is in, name a problem, summarize the effect it is having on the buyer situation, and describe the product benefit • SITUATION, PROBLEM, EFFECT, PRODUCT BENEFIT – Pausing to get the buyer to say “Yes!” each time • Propose and get agreement for activity or event that either advances the sale or results in a sale • Questions should always be built with soft words around actions that leads the buyer to an order – Therefore, Never ask them to “sign” a contract!

232 Try A Trial Close • If you are unsure about your buyer’s feelings toward you or your product, attempt a trial close to find out how serious are the buyer’s intentions • Or, you might try the question, “Do you need any additional information to make your decision?” • If she or he has little money or decision making power, then it’s probably time to change your strategy or switch to a buyer with more “strings” – Might you be able to save them money fast enough to afford the purchase before their bill will come due?

233 Example Closing Questions • “What about installing a pilot system to evaluate the benefits? If you are satisfied with the results, we can then proceed with the full implementation.” • “I propose we implement in stages. If we start next week, we’ll have everything installed and tested in three months. Are you happy with that?” • “I’ll have a contract in your office by Friday. As soon as you give the go-ahead, I’ll arrange delivery & installation within 2 weeks. Is that OK?” • Softer: “Would you okay the paperwork”, “shall we complete the formalities”, or “fill out these forms?” • Then stop talking and wait for an answer!

234 Dealing With Trial Responses • “I don’t like the color” Find out why before • Contradiction: “But, it’s the latest color.” • Reflective thinking: “So, you don’t like the color?” • Interpretation, translation, assumption: “Oh, so what you are saying is that the color is too dull?” • “If” and “will:” “If I can get X color, will you buy it?” • Platform changes: “How do you like the fabric?” • Before all that, “The color is an important factor. What exactly is it about the color you don’t like?” < First, just ask “Why?” >

235 Four Types of Objections • Doubt – Offer proof, testimonials, demonstration, guarantee • Misunderstanding – Apologize for confusion and clarify – emphasizing building a desire for a solution not a particular product • Disadvantage – Maximize other advantages & minimize disadvantage • Price (know you’re A, B, C, D’s) – Agree (not cheap, but good value), Build a barrier (by restating benefits and being a complete solution), Compromise (offer something that costs little for free, like training), Discount (last resort and special deal)

236 You Must Isolate Objections! • Get the buyer to confirm that it is the only issue standing in the way of progressing the sale – Failing to isolate likely leads to just more objections – If isolated, answer objection If not isolated, listen, rephrase, test understanding, isolate, and answer – Taking notes will greatly help you listen and isolate • May require a follow-up call or presentation – If so, begin by checking there are no other objections – Try statistics, opinions of others, sight tools, etc. • Remember to anticipate, control the conversation, question as needed, and aim to advance or close

237 Never Invite Objections! • The fastest way to instigate objections is to give an answer when you should be asking a question or when a question had already been resolved • Questions are always safer than opinions “I’m surprised to hear this, as I want to understand. May I ask about your thinking in saying that?” – Never say, “I’ll try” or even worse, “It’s not my fault” • Salespeople can easily affect what buyers do, but – We expect every meeting to be as crisp as USA-Today • Anticipate Objections by the experiences of others – Mgt should reward the finding of new buyer or prospect

238 Selling Is Not Telling! • “Features and benefits” presentation often comes only after the initial consultative selling effort if not after the delivery itself as part of ongoing support – The problem is that telling is quicker, easier, and safer • Was the visit about telling the prospect about X or Y, or was it to learn about them? If only telling, you’re not closing a sale but just a presentation! • The Buyers major role should be telling you stuff not asking product questions – guide them to tell. • Your first opening questions should naturally direct dialog to a comfortable and unforced close

239 Position or Spin, Not Present • Proper positioning reduces customer objections and translates from techie talk to customer speak – Many people have been wrongly trained not to ask such “risky” questions they don’t already know the answer to • “Answerman” salesperson should become a product councilor – Buyer may try to push you back to your product dump • Only 3-minute summary, then get back to dialog of questions • Open with “Unlike other companies, we ”; then provide hunches; finally, progress to one idea • Finally, “Can you give me five minutes to help with some specific feedback why we weren’t selected?” – This can win the next proposal if not steal back this one

240 Pre-closing Metrics • Have you built the prerequisite customer energy? – Coaching encouragement skills are also key to sales – Enough boasting? “Many don’t know we’re #1 in ” • Check understanding of decision process, budget, time frames, priority, and fix what needs fixing – This is certainly not just how many X do they need? – Do you know the problems better than they? They should like you just for the improved problem definition. • Is the product positioned as the only solution? – Are you positioned as the primary source of advice? • Closing is the job of the salesperson, not buyer – 80% fail to close when buyer ready, making 60% angry

241 Responses to Buyer Reactions • “YES” (Only 1 in 15 closes in large companies) – Stop talking while contract are being signed, check that everything is correct, thank the buyer, summarize and review the implementation plan (or buyer may forget benefits and alienate or distract buyer), and thank the buyer again (then again with email or letter) • “NO” (Can happen as you walk in, agree & turn it) – Then, the closing effort simply becomes a trial close – You might as well make the family “skeletons” dance – Manage objections by listening and rephrasing as a question to clarify before isolating and answering – And then, attempt yet another closing question

242 “Don’t have the time ” • So, in other words, what you’re saying is that it would be great to be able to take advantage of my offer it’s just that you are so back logged that you feel the potential time savings it could bring simply isn’t worth some effort? • That’s the great thing about my business, the busier I am, the more money I’m making is that the same for you in your business? • If time wasn’t an issue for you, which product or service I’ve shown has the most appeal to you?

243 “Don’t have time ” (continued) • “Satisfying” buyer who previously bought the first acceptable solution and skipped all alternatives – Probe for needs and stress speed whenever possible as well as completeness of solution as compared to the new needs so issues will get solved this time – Or, “Chunk” presentation of only “What, so what, and now what?” Say, “As a result, I am recommending I can do this If you can Are you happy with that?” • “Fast and Furious” buyer who previously chose the “best” only by what seemed the most familiar – Ask, “How did you make a purchase last time?” Then, prove how this purchase is just like last time(s) - only more so - with data, visuals, stories, and testimonials.

244 “No budget ” Or, “Too costly ” • I know price is an important consideration. What are you comparing it against in thinking this? • I’m sure you’re not saying the products you’ve purchased in the past ended up to be worthless? Can I invite you to one day of training for free? • Based on our conversations, if money wasn’t an issue, there are certainly issues within your organization that could use some improving where do you see the biggest gaps to exist? • Wow, really? So, is your company expanding or shrinking? Normally, budgets getting shot is a sign of rough times. Is that the case for you?

245 “Already own” / “Do it internally” • Are there objective metrics your company uses or are decisions made more from the gut? • So, the company has paid for this product or service in the past? How did the company go about making that purchase? Was that purchase something you were actively involved with? • That’s exactly what Company X said two years ago, but we worked through assessments that showed a gap. Today, the company just posted that they saved enough time over the past two years to pay for one of their full time employees.

246 More Ways They Say No • “Not decider” – Who is the decision maker? • “No Need” – Our clients report a 40% increase. • “We’re too small” – Do you know what your competition is doing? We’ve delivered solutions to over 1,000 of the local area businesses. • “We only use proprietary solutions” – Are you not retailing your applications? Poor interfaces and poor documentation are likely reasons why, and why systems fail. But, industry leading interfaces and documentation are exactly what we do best. • Don’t memorize scripts; learn good methodology to answer and reactivate a stalled sales process

247 Continually Clarify Positions • “What do you have for me today?” Can mean “I’m sure that you don’t have anything for me today, but let me quickly make sure of it.” • “I need X.” Can mean I don’t feel a need for anything – I don’t know what I need, but I heard you have X. Let me quickly make sure of it.” • Reply with: “What are your concerns?” Or, “Can we back up a bit, I would like to ask about ” • Use questioning in the opening, assessing needs, in positioning your product, resolving objections, as well as closing to continually clarify positions

248 Clarify Objections (continued) • “No, I must have it delivered before you can ship” may just mean “I need to be billed in this quarter” or “I need it this year for tax purposes” when, say, the most expensive parts can be shipped early. • The only way to know is to ask more questions! • The correct response is never a product answer! • “A new X is 3 times more expensive than a Y!” – “X is better, provides growth, let me show you why ” or, “So, what you’re saying is ” can be very irritating – Better, “Yes, I see your point. I should have mentioned that. Tell me what you need specifically, and why?”

249 Price Objection Example • Buyer: “Price is too high.” • Seller: “Yes, but it has twice the benefits of others, halving the time to bring products to market.” • Buyer: “But, the price is more than I should pay.” • Seller: “Here are visuals for all the benefits we agreed the product or service provided you.” • Buyer: “It still doesn’t seem worth it.” • Seller: “Let me see if I can get a special deal on getting you some free training.” • Buyer: “I’ll buy.” [note: sale didn’t need a discount]

250 Make The Skeletons Dance • One who flatly rejects your product has thought about it, in fact, more than one willing to listen • What is the single biggest objection? Then, brightly agree, even brag about it: “Absolutely!” – “You’re known for being expensive and less reliable!” “Yes, we are more expensive and less reliable! Why is that? Because, our product can do the work of three machines and can be repaired with no down time.” • Don’t try to hide the “rotting rhinos” – they won’t remain hidden long and will kill repeat business – Unless you’re selling a 3-week business cycle product or the competition is just as sleazy as your company

251 Barry Maher’s Skeleton Protocol • List every negative issue to your prospects, yourself, and any others as if you’re a competitor • Then, list the advantages of these negatives – The advantage of flimsy is it’s cheap and available – The advantage of causing a huge loss for a customer is that there’s little risk in assuming all future losses – And, every pos has neg: “It can’t work, it’s too cheap!” • List the reasons for each negative to fill out the stories behind the advantages of the negatives • Create at least six benefits for each negative until they each become an ultimate selling point

252 Be Buyer Emotion Chameleon • Whatever emotions the buyer exhibits – Angry: “ We have to take action!” – Surprised: “I’m hungry!” – Worried: “What happened at last week’s meeting?” – Passive: “It’s October 14th.” • A seller should be fully synchronized – If they talk about “meshing,” you had better say “mesh” – Sync with words, appearance, and emotions (or heart) • Subtlety radiates confidence and intimacy – Don’t be obvious, of course, about such syncing efforts – But, people sell more who talk faster than the Buyer

253 “50 Ways To Close Your Sale” • Assumptive Close – “I can meet on Thursday. What time would you like?” • Secondary Question or Forced Choice Close – When any answer affirms primary question (ie: stopping by): “Should I stop by at 7:00pm or 8:00pm tonight?” • Alternative Close (offering two distinct options) – “Do you want just the single computer system initially or should I also deliver the back-ups at the same time?” • Sharp Angle Close – If the buyer asks, “Does it come with backup?” you then reply (of course) with “Would you like one if it does?”

254 Closing Scripts (continued) • Order Blank Close – Write out details of an order and ask reflex questions like spelling of name and address. If they stop you, say “I understand how you feel. I am only listing the details for analysis.” Then, ask for a signature. If they hesitate, grab the pen back, shake it, and exclaim, “Darn pen’s been clogging all day, but that should do it. Try it now.” • Ben Franklin Close or Balance Sheet Close – “Any decision is clearly only as good as the information. Whenever Ben Franklin (or my father) was faced with a tough decision, he used a decision matrix listing all of the positives and negatives.” After listing six positives, let them list negatives (without help, people rarely come up with more than price and one more) to compare.

255 Closing Scripts (continued) • Not A Salesperson For A Salesperson Close – “I really enjoy the consulting side of my business, it’s what I’m really good at. But, I have to be honest. We are now at the point where I’m not really at my best. I am sure you, conversely, are an excellent salesman – are you not? So, to speed things up, how about you sell me on why you should not buy from me today?” • Lapsing Memory Close – “This sheet of paper represents what you know today.” Fold the paper in half. “This is what you’ll recall in a day.” Repeat several times. “Don’t you want to make a decision with the most information?” If the client claims to need more time, “That’s cool, I’ll wait down the hall.”

256 Closing Scripts (continued) • Only Four Possibilities Close – “There are only four possibilities: you buy or you don’t buy, your need it or you don’t need it – can we agree on that? Well, let’s review what might happen in each case. If you don’t buy and don’t need it, you’ve spent nothing and got nothing. If you buy it and don’t need it, you’ll have a small expense with no benefit. If you buy and need it, you’ll have a small expense with a big payoff. But, if you don’t buy it and end up needing it, you’ll end up with a potentially devastating expense. What exactly would the consequences be? Moreover, how would you feel if you needed it but didn’t have it. And, isn’t it, as they say, better to be safe than sorry?”

257 Closing Scripts (continued) • Puppy Dog Close (If “Dog” too big, try a puppy) – If they still won’t buy, try breaking down the sale into a smaller component with a “guaranteed / no risk” offer • Summary with Cutting Back Secondary Close – “As we’ve agreed Mr. Customer, the new Jiff-o-Matic is the fastest, the easiest, the most cost-effective ” even add two or three of the dancing skeletons. Say, “It makes sense to me, what do you think?” If he doesn’t sign, push the Premier until you’re sure he won’t buy it, then cut back to your secondary recommendation, slowly selling the negatives: “Now the Deluxe is not ” A good salesman can cut back two or three times, but if you cut back too fast, you’ll only cut your own throat.

258 Closing Scripts (continued) • Always Pulling Back Close (best for sales people) – “Why should I buy?” (doesn’t like to be told what to do) – “Perhaps, you shouldn’t” – you might even start to pack up saying somberly “Maybe this isn’t right for you.” – If they stop you, continue several more “take-away’s” • “I don’t know if you will qualify for this product,” “This has been so popular, you may not be able to get one,” and “If you had come to me earlier, you would have qualified for a better deal.” – Can “fight” with management for product availability or for special characteristics – even if you “lose,” you win • If you choose to “win” with your boss, do it a little at a time – Use business card with “Find out how you can qualify”

259 Closing Scripts (continued) • Shifting Risk Close – Prospects need to believe the risk involved in being your customer is less than not being your customer • Need to increase perception of safety being with you • Also means increasing perception of your credibility – You want to help them feel safer – just as insurance and legal protection are normal risk protectors/shifters • Remind them it’s not about the cost, but the consequences – Share sources of risk information, provide a similar supporting story, and then ask for any first hand personal experience dealing with such consequences • “With just a pen’s stroke, you can stop worrying.”

260 Closing Scripts (continued) • Always-Be-Closing scripts include Presidential, Niemen Marcus, Kreepy Krawly, Raccoon, Pity, and the Now or Never (or Fire Sale) closes • Finally, is the Walk Back and Apologize Close – Walk back into an office with, “Mr. Customer, I just had to come back here and apologize to you. It’s completely my fault. You know, sometimes when you’re in a hurry, when you’ve got appointments waiting sometimes when you’re explaining something over and over to a lot of different people, well, you just don’t do the kind of job that people have a right to expect. If I had just done my job, you would have purchased more from me.”

261 Closes For Five Verbal Profiles • Computer: Balance Sheet close with focus on details of implementation with “proof” strategies • Placater: Team up to overcome “incompetence” overloading with questions on shifting risk after many agreements leading to Order Blank close • Blamer: Summary with Cut Back close (continue pulling back) after submissively addressing PASS emotional needs with expert testimony; may need multiple visits for timing or cooling down (2-on-1) • Distracter: Sharp Angle with shocks like tossing wads of “lost” money on the floor and Order Blank • False Leveler: Broken rhythm with logical visuals

262 “50 Ways To Close” (review) • Do everything you can to build sense of urgency • Don’t hide the contract. A large stack of them on your desk screams, “This is a routine form. It’s no big deal. Clients sign a lot of these every day.” • In most complex sales, there will likely be several closing questions before you can ask for the order • But, it’s more about a process of developing trust; when done correctly, the close takes care of itself – you’re just asking them for what makes sense • Remember, the Close begins with the Opening

<Home> 263 #6: Sales Cycle Tracking Outline • What is Customer Relationship Management? – Profile the person, department, and company – Account record, grouping accounts, and customer plan – Profile buyer behaviors & attractive qualities over time • Personal time management and Pareto Analysis – Building a calling plan as a basis for your calendar – Steps for turning leads into prospects and sales • High ratios for problems areas in sales technique – Ratios: Suspect to Prospect; Prospect to Approach; Approach to Proof; Proof to Decision; Decision to Order

264 Customer Relations Mgt • CRM is the intelligent IT practice for finding, marketing to, selling to, and servicing customers – Requires a database of customer information & agent support software for collaborative and analytical efforts – Timely, accurate, complete, no duplicates, secure data – Key for data mining referrals and best markets, etc – Leading vendors are SAP, Siebel, Oracle, Salesforce • CRM is also organizational philosophy in dealing with customers’ needs and expectations including employee training, processes, as well as finances – This implies every job is about customer service • 6-sigma Voice of the People; ISO 9001:2000 Cust Satisfaction

265 Profile the Person, Dept, Co. • What do you do? How long have you been in your role? How did you get into this job? What are your future plans? What did you do prior? • What department are you in? How many in the team? What technologies are key (support, admin, or design)? Who do you report to? • What are the top initiative or business problems currently being worked on? How successful have past effort been? How was that measured? • Help solve all problems, even if send to others.

266 The Account / Prospect Record • Standard business information – Name, address, nature of business, contact phone number(s), buyer name(s) with title and other details, best time to call, other DMs, and DM process, etc. • Report on each call (Call Report) – Who, needed follow-up activities, sales, buyer commitments, possible sales, contract exp, and competition to be prepared for next meeting/call • Activity between calls – Details of all phone calls and meetings, etc.

267 Grouping Accounts • Usually into three groups: – Key Buyers with a lot of potential that form the basis for profits by frequently making large orders, especially those who could easily go elsewhere – Solid and Steady Buyers who have been making orders for a long time with your sales organization – Marginal Buyers with low risk and low priority orders • Primarily by new orders, sudden large orders, new management (that may be suddenly for or against you), recent or expiring leases, etc.

268 Customer Maintenance Plan • For canvassing, sales, database, and organizational skills for detailed records • Why? – Provides buying history with agreed actions – And, better preparation and focus for sales calls – It saves valuable time and embarrassment when transferring a territory from one seller to another – Bottom line: it closes more sales! • Only records & planning that support selling with an easy system for data retrieval and reminders

269 Profile Buyer Behaviors • Fact finding: including usually profiling people and their organizations before every meeting • Probing: to identify and magnify potential and existing problems of time, profit, and prestige • Agreeing: to be allowed to make a proposal and to always consider alternatives • Influencing: by persuading one of benefits • Recommending: solutions as a friend • Closing: by summarizing, gaining commitment, and planning effective follow-ups

270 Attractive Quality Over Time 3. Exciting – how can the customer be wow-ed? 2. Revealed Performance – just ask the customer 1. Basic / Expected – assumed items require only reviewing notes 0. Indifferent or Annoyed Airline phones were exciting, expected, and are now gone From Hinshitsu (Quality), The Journal of the Japanese Society for Quality Control, XIV:2, pp.39-48, April 1984

271 Personal Time Management • Emptying: clean up & clear out collection points • Deciding: capture everything; define outcomes • Grouping: tracking systems, workflow models, and even coaching to organize all emails, paper documents, and meetings by how and when • Executing: weekly reviews based on purpose, vision, goals, areas of focus, projects, actions – See Getting Thing Done by David Allen – Personal Information Management (PIM) software < Alas, all unplanned work (often called fire- fighting) is the #1 silent killer of efficiency! >

272 Personal Pareto Analysis (80% of results comes from 20% of work) • Know what is important to boss and customer • consensus on updated prioritized High /Medium /Low to-do list and performance goals with boss • Maintain uninterrupted time for correspondence • Do daily personal brainstorming when most alert • Have organized office & calendar, ready for fires • Do at least a simple PERT chart for all projects • Delegate, Listen, and Network well at all times • Daily exercise, alone time, friends, & good sleep – Stress management, relaxation therapy, and plan fun

273 Building a Calling Plan • To keep in regular touch with accounts (key ones more often) to make more sales, build buyer relationships, & use time more effectively • Select criteria for grouping accounts and group (usually 3 groups: key, solid, and low priority) • Decide on call frequency for each group and plan overall calling cycle (or calendar of calls) • Review each account and group regularly (an account, say, may be moved to another group) • Remember priority is always, of course, to spend more time selling and less time building tools

274 Basis for Calendar of Calls • Call frequency for each group (say, once a month for key accounts, every two month for solid accounts, and quarterly for marginal accounts) • Number of accounts (there’s only one of you) • Whether you plan on visiting or calling (could be simply: “I’m calling to check that you’re still happy with the new printers and the quality of servicing. What’s the latest feedback from your staff?”) • Routing plan for efficient use of travel time (and not driving/flying repeatedly over the same paths)

275 Steps of the Selling Cycle (turning leads into prospects and sales) • Suspect: cold calls in your sales territory and / or fact-finding efforts to see if your time is worth it • Prospect: as in any contest – you must focus on buyer & consider what your competition might do • Approach: decision maker about need, authority • Proof: by explaining benefits (pricing, etc) – Only discuss competition if issue raised by buyer • Decision: ask for a commitment or lose to others – At least pre-commitment, trial, or demonstration • Order: record signature / authorization / install

276 Sales Cycle Stages (align Selling Cycle with Buyer Cycle) • Suspect: buyer unaware of need or problem – Seek potential emotional connection for their lacking • Prospect: fact-finding with open questions about objections, current situations, and operations – Identify problems with existing methods and solutions • Approach: magnify uncovered problems and confirm needs and your solution as a match – Probe for potential concerns, financial impact, as well as resulting professional and public image of purchase – Buyer is aware; so, get agreement to consider your solution and alternatives it’s now time to recommend

277 Sales Cycle Stages (continued) • Proof: help buyer to set preferences and buying criteria as well as influence by focusing on strengths and recommending your solution and prove it works this ensures he or she will chose your solution even if they shop around • Decision and Order: The Buyer expects you to ask for a commitment so, do just that! – When you are closing the buy, you summarize the agreed benefits and gain commitment to proceed – National average closing rate is about 10% to 15% • Follow up: help buyer confirm their satisfaction

278 Sales Cycle Tracking • Record the date for completing each step and calculate 5 key ratios (to improve overall sales) – Suspect to Prospect Ratio • You might decide there are too many suspects / leads to track – Prospect to Approach Ratio – Approach to Proof Ratio High ratios indicate problem areas in – Proof to Decision Ratio sales techniques – Decision to Order Ratio • Track completed, ongoing, aborted steps by client – Forecast based on average length of sales cycles – Price cuts oblige higher closing rates or more prospects

279 Sales Cycle Tracking Example • 100 suspect, for example, in your Sales Territory • 50 later qualify for money, authority, need, etc. • 32 turn out to match their need to your solution • 24 believe that you fully satisfy their aspirations and needs as well as being within their budget • 15 you can enthuse for commitment to purchase • 8 finally complete order, installation, and fully pay for all product and services as well as • 6 that follow-up with additional future upgrades

280 First High Suspect: Prospecting • Largest ratio in this example was two Suspects to each Prospect may be the biggest problem – National average is also to only qualify 30% to 60% • This means you are not screening the accounts carefully enough... may need to do it personally • Your probing skills are deficient and you likely need to spend more time getting information • You may not even know what a prospect is • Or, your Sales Territory may not have enough potential (not sufficient number of likely buyers)

281 Not A Suspect: Approach • Prospect to Approach ratio is 1.56, this is about: • Good telephone skills (thorough and courteous); you know when to answer and when to hang up • Good planning and strategizing (you’re doing well planning appropriate sales approaches before meeting with the buyer and doing presentation) • Good prospect research (for good knowledge of the buyer’s situation, needs, and objectives) – Matching customer’s needs well with your products • You have a good buyer orientation and focus!

282 Least Likely Suspect: Proof • Approach to Proof ratio is 1.33; this is example area of least difficulty or greatest skills, thus • You showed good knowledge of pricing options • You clearly understand your product adequately • You have done well in discussing the buyer needs that met by your product in presentation • You are proficient at identifying & magnifying buyer problems (you have done a reasonable job probing for problems, developing explicit needs, and helping the buyer know the product)

283 Another Suspect: Decision • Approach to Proof ratio is 1.6, this is about • You’ve not made enough benefit statements – How is the buyer to know your solutions will work? • You seem to have poor demonstration skills and are tuning out buyers (not getting their point of view nor what will make them more successful) • You may not be making sufficient use of sales support literature as a proof source to overcome objections (doubt, misunderstandings, price, etc) • You are not recommending the best solution!

284 Second High Suspect: Order • Second largest ratio was 1.88 Proofs to each Order thus, this the second biggest problem • Suggesting poor closing skills (need to do a better job summarizing the agreed benefits, proposing action plans, and waiting for answers) • You may not understand how decisions are made in the buyer’s organization (who is DM?) • You are likely not probing enough for the consequences of fixing or not fixing the main problem facing the buyer’s organization

<Home> 285 #7: Complex/Coaching Outline • Daley’s Socratic Selling from asking questions • Complex Sales vs. Small, simple sales – Small about closing while large about investigating – Goal is not about closing but commitment for next step – Push vs. Pull and Hard vs. Soft selling – which is right? • Sales Coaching requires a coaching culture – Feedback is the first language of coaching – Self-coaching just as important as by management • Post call debriefing or post-mortem • Listening and vocal charisma exercises

286 Daley’s Socratic Selling • Socrates viewed coercion and persuasion as sins of the Rhetoricians and preferred viewing himself rather as a midwife of existing truth – Listen to the buyer and help them to think and decide • 1) intro topic 2) invite buyer to share interests 3) offer benefits for sharing 4) ask for more details 5) check for urgency & deadlines 6) what most bothers them 7) what most motivates them 8) summarize 9) get them to agree 10) recommend 11) answer questions & objections 12) close

287 Complex Sales • Most of the decision is made when the seller isn’t present, during intervals between the sales calls – Neil Rackham says that opening the call, investigating needs, presenting benefits, handling objections, and closing are less important as the sale is more complex; Where building the perceived value is most important – Unleash expertise for change by adding value every day • In small sales, if you can’t close you can’t sell, but in complex situations, it’s if you can’t investigate – Implication Questions: Are you fully satisfied with your service contract? No, in what way? Why is it important to solve this problem? How much would you save?

288 Complex Sales (continued) • Start a 10-minutes sales pitch with a good buyer- centered vision statement and benefits summary – Buyers will become irritated if you just throw a series of blunt interrogatives mostly about your selling needs – Link questions to their statements and external forces – Identifying consequences of perceived dissatisfactions • Goal is not a sale but a sales cycle commitment – Get them to set up meeting, call 2 satisfied customers, set up introduction to the or another decision maker – Jerry Vass’ Soft Selling only persuades CEOs with business-oriented payoff presentations for obtaining commitments in less than 15-minutes (after much work)

289 Push-Pull Sales Approaches Push Results PUSH Pull Tells Good Sells (traditional) Time for Sales Tests Good for AUTOCRAT Consults Customer Pulling usually better for long- Joins term success DEMOCRAT PULL (Tannenbaum, A S, et al. 1974. Hierarchy in Organizations. Jossey-Bass. Shelfmark HD38.T29)

290 Pushing vs. Pulling • Every sales consultant or book author can be divided in two groups: either hard or soft selling – Both hard/soft are right at different times and situations • Low-cost, short-term, or good-for-them are hard! – We all have at least one friend or family member who smokes, drinks, eats too much, etc try to get them to quit and go to church more often with just whispering. Then, try that approach with a similar teenager LOL – Low-cost fitness centers are a classical hard sale • Even the “Horse Whisperer” eventually hog-tied the horse – Won’t work for multiple decision makers or over $100k

291 Hard vs. Soft Selling • So, if the products or services are simple, cheap, and good for you, try being hard good example is a $50 quit-smoking product that’s guaranteed! – It’s time to end topic negotiations and lead the buyer – Fitness salesmen have been know to even throw a box of donuts while yelling, “Might as well eat these!” • Then, if the large, complex, sale exists where the competition is similar, you’d better be very soft • Except that you can change it to a small, simple sale by only selling a component remember that a buyer is always better than a prospect!

292 Sales Coaching • Top-performance requires a coaching culture – Money is literally left on the table without coaching • Because coaching is the only way to change fast enough – Sadly, only a third of companies do anything formal • Yet, the primary reason people quit is to find one that does • First rule of coaching: always self-assess first – Start with strengths (1-on-1) to build common ground – Use in-depth questioning skills just like with customer • Daily Issues, Weekly or Quarterly Reviews and Yearly asking, “How am I getting in your way?” – Be specific and focus only on a few things at a time • Always close with Action Plan and then follow up

293 Feedback: Language Of Coaching • Role Play (switch being the customer and seller) • Practice scripts (including critical pauses) • Practice writing proposals to common buyers • “Listen to me” exercises to experience modeling and mirroring differing emotions, communication styles, body language, and contact methods • In first three sales calls, focus on the process – Experience moving too early (or late) with features – And, when it’s time for features, focus on benefits – Review every step and alternatives with your coach

294 Self-coaching / Post-call Debrief • Preparation: Did I plan a sales-call strategy? Did I do my customer, product, industry homework? Did I know everyone who was going to be there? Were they qualified decision maker / influencer? Were my material appropriate and professional? • During Call: Did I fit in, eye contact, note taking? How often did I talk? Did I begin with words of empathy? Did I keep my ideas bite sized? Were Why questions effective? Did I dig deep? Did I uncover all objections? Did I listen? Did I convey faith in myself? Did I accomplish what I need to? What could I have improved? Create action plan.

295 Self-coaching / Listening • Get out of the way of your customers discovering your products on their own by simply listening – People want others to just listen – advice is cheap, a paper with both Dear Abby & Billy Graham costs 50¢ – Listening encourages growth and reduces tension • The first person we need to listen to is ourselves – The first goal is to stop over committing yourself! – Next is ability for a greater articulation of your values • Write a Value Statement of who you are and what you believe • What did you find out? Write an Action Plan for improvements – Understand the destructive ways you talk to yourself – Thus, you should have a better idea of what you most enjoy, are good at, and how to get out of your own way

296 Listening Coaching (continued) • I have found note taking to be invaluable – so, evaluate the notes taken during each sales call – Evaluate listening at planning, arguments, training, etc. • Listening means encouraging others to talk more – List ways to improve in this area and then practice • The children’s game of telling a story around a circle shows how poorly we listen – again, practice – Get feedback from others on ability to get a story right – Practice listing all the sounds you hear in 5 minutes – List situations and people when you are most focused and able to see other’s views without judgment? – List non-verbal clues (good & bad) to the listening levels

297 Self-coaching / Vocal Charisma • Never underestimate the power of your voice – You must learn to speak with more energy, music, and emotion to sound credible with proper tone & breathing • Record yourself speaking to make improvements – Read newspaper after marking it for when to breath – Banish non-words: “um,” “ahh,” “you know,” “so,” etc. – And annoying sounds: lip smacking or popping sounds • Copy yourself voicemails to review at day’s end • Observe yourself speaking in front of a mirror – Note muscle tension, breathing too often or too deeply, using your diaphragm, and ability to express feelings

298 Vocal Coaching (continued) • Speak before two or three friends or colleagues and give a 30 second advertisement on yourself – Get feedback on being warm, interesting, passionate, convincing, enthusiastic, clear, articulate, professional, well paced, commanding, pleasant, and trustworthy • Make sure all of your vowel sounds are correct and clear • Your mother was correct, good posture helps proper breathing – Try reading it authoritative, warm, energetic, or mellow – Vary pitch, inflection, placement, tempo, and rhythm • Shower singing can help find your natural voice • Grow from painful recognition of mistakes through noticing improvements until it’s all second nature

299 Tom Sant’s Six Rules • In The Giants of Sales, Tom Sant says there are six rules that transcend every top sales method – Method matches buyer’s preferred mode of buying – Method is flexible, self-correcting, incorporating lessons – Process itself creates value, usually intellectual, for both the buyer and vendor separate from closing the sale – Methodology increases sale efficiency, either making the sales cycle shorter or enabling the salesperson to handle an larger volume of accounts successfully – Methodology based on measurables, but this only works if you work it (by matching your preferred selling mode) – Methodology transferable across all skill levels!

300 In Conclusion • Sales is a higher calling not a genetic disposition – Sales, teaching, and evangelism are all the same thing • Stop selling to the customer you think they should be (or you would be) & sell to who they really are – Sales is about helping buyers be unhappy about not having what they need to fully live up to their potential – And, not about customer satisfaction over conspicuous consumption desires to reduce the pain of their fears • This is not done by presentations of facts, figures, and forceful personalities but by speaking to their hearts to help them make more honest decisions

301 In Conclusion (continued) • RULE #1: Know your customer and be flexible! – Buyer pays salary; solve their problems before yours • RULE #2: Know your product and yourself! • RULE #3: Find and stay on the higher ground! – Don’t satisfy their wants; meet their needs and prove it • Focus on 3 R’s: Reputation, Reliability, Rapport – Selling is not presenting, telling, or informing it is persuading growth for ever shifting buyer and markets • Under promise to over deliver for building trust – Somehow promise a minimum improvement of 20% over all current and alternative solutions and then be able to verify the product delivered significantly more

302 Some Ageless Sales Advice The 50 rules my grandmother gave my mother on how to control husbands reduces to the following: 1. Make it his idea: mumble some suggestion and then change the subject only to say days later, “that was a good idea of yours the other day” 2. Use opinions he values more than yours 3. Encourage replacement, not discourage problem 4. Repetition (like branding): have one food for which you are best known (like your famous apple pie or fried chicken) – do not try to cook everything well

303 Questions? But first, let’s double your memory (and so, double your sales)? Memorizing the Presidents

304 References 1. http://www.00001001.ch/Resources_GetFile.asp x?PageID=328&ResID=12 for Johnson quote 2. www.mstservices.com/text/OKC%20SOC%20Pr esentation%20042204.ppt for employee qualities 3. http://www.newsellingofamerica.org/univ.html lists 30 top college sales programs alphabetically 4. Selling Without Confrontation by Jack Green 5. Blink (art of not thinking) by Malcolm Gladwell 6. 5-Sec Web site tests by Christine Perfetti at http://www.uie.com/articles/five_second_test/

305 References (continued) 7. Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion by Robert B. Cialdini, Ph.D. HarperCollins, 1984 8. See Forbes.com article by Melanie Linder for “How To Tell Is Someone Is Lying To You” 9. You’ve got to be believed to be heard by Decker 10.Negotiated Collusion by Cassell and Bickmore 11.12 Tips For Making Small Talk (Mar 4, 2005) 12.Never Eat Alone (And Other Secrets to Success, One Relationship at a Time) by Keith Ferrazzi 13.SellingPower.Com May 2008 p.54 “Linked in?”

306 References (continued) 14.The Crying Game by Dr. Richard Bolstad 15.Toyota’s Five Why’s is explained at Wikipedia 16.Relational Agents by Bickmore and Cassell 17.Albert Ellis quote from a NY Times interview 18.See mirroring more fully explained at Wikipedia 19.Univ. of North Carolina study of 1,400 workers 20.Investment Leadership by Ted Bililies p.87 21.How to Kill Creativity, Harvard Business Review 22.Type Talk at Work by Otto Krueger 23.Understanding DISC: Negotiation Strategies

307 References (continued) 24.Verbal Judo by George Thompson (& Jenkins) 25.The Gentle Art of Verbal Self-Defense by Elgin 26.The Practice of REBT by A. Ellis and W. Dryden 27.The Satir Process by Sharon Loeschen 28.Peoplemaking by Virginia Satir 29.Selling to the Old Brain by Renvoise and Morin 30.How to Use Broken Rhythm Attacks: Joe Lewis 31.What is the Balanced Scorecard by BSC Institute 32.World of Human Resources (3/2002, now gone) 33.HowToMeasureAnything.com by D. Hubbard

308 References (continued) 34.Electronic Commerce: A Managerial Perspective Prentice Hall, 2000, Slide 7 (April, 2003) 35.Electronic Commerce: A Managerial Perspective Prentice Hall, 2000, Slide 12 (April, 2003) 36.Managing Corporate Culture, Innovation, and Intrapreneurship by Howard W. Odwin (1997) 37.6-Sigma (by SME) Project (by SixSigma.us) Charter (by isixsigma), & Team Charter Example 38.Ellison Well-being (‘82), Mink/Owen Openness (‘94), Shaw Trust (‘97) scales are standardized measurements of personal & group well-being

309 References (continued) 39.Personal Balanced Scorecard by K. R. Hubert 40.Zore on Sales Success by Theodore B. Kinni 41.Think! Not in a Blink by Michael R. LeGault and Moneyball: Winning an Unfair Game by M. Lewis 42.Fourth Generation Management by Brian Joiner, New York, NY: McGraw-Hill, Inc. (1994). 43.Wikipedia on avoiding peacock & weasel terms 44.Fire Them Up! Seven Secrets by Carmine Gallo 45.Some info New Horizons Seminars Sales Cycles Basics, Mastering Cold Calls, Closing the Sale

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Sales Talk

by Jim Maginnis on Dec 17, 2009

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Sales Talk — Presentation Transcript