Sales Talk


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What makes a good Direct Salesperson?

All sales require knowledge of the following:
Small Talk Basics and Catharsis Theory
Neuroeconomic Psychology Concepts
Enemy Mine: embracing incompleteness
Buyer Behaviors and the Buyer Cycle
Management’s need to track the Sales Cycle
When to Hard Sell and when to Soft Sell
And, Sales Coaching (so to bring it all home)

Published in: Business, Technology
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Sales Talk

  1. 1. 1Holistic Handbook To Direct Sales- 2013
  2. 2. 2Introduction 1One of mankind’s most importantpersonal and business conceptsis the idea of object-orientedrelational systems thinking.Summarized by Aristotle in hislectures on Metaphysics,“The whole is more than the sum of its parts.”
  3. 3. 3Introduction 2Direct Sales skills can be critically usefulto understanding such thinking asDirect Sales is the most fundamentalstep-by-step personal accelerant forthe development and restructuring ofinter-organizational and inter-personalhierarchies, associations, and identitiesSo, for whom might Direct Sales be useful?
  4. 4. 4Introduction 3For software development,Object-Oriented Modeling (OOM)is about understanding entity characteristicsand relationships instead of top-down tasks.Rather than thinking about the tasks needed,Rather than thinking about the tasks needed,say, to make a PB and jelly sandwich,modern programmers consider insteadall of the possible relationships betweenPB, jelly, bread, toaster, and the frig.
  5. 5. 5Introduction 4For data management,Entity-Relationship Diagramming (ERD)is a semantic data modeling techniquethat uses a graphical representationthat uses a graphical representationof system entities and their relationshipsinstead of just their applicationas a basis for a unified view of data.
  6. 6. 6Introduction 5For business process management,Unified Modeling Language (UML)focuses on the system entities,their use, and relationships with the user,proceeding from the outside inwardsto the objects that make things happen.Such a workflow approach to analyzingand managing a business processis often used in combination withobject-oriented programming.
  7. 7. 7Introduction 6For technology management,DeMarco says in Peopleware the mostcommonly written software is accountsreceivables (as everyone needs to get paid),with likely hundreds of development teams soworking at this very moment. Over two thirds willfail not due to misunderstanding the technologybut only to problems with human relationships.“When projects fail,it’s rarely technical.”Jim Johnson, The Standish Group1
  8. 8. 8Introduction 7For accounting, the traditional focus was onestimating the value of factories, trucks, andmachines based on the tasks they performed.“Goodwill” is about paying, say, $20 million fora company with $10 million in such tangiblea company with $10 million in such tangibleassetson the assumption that it’s “true” value isbased more on its potential relational synergy.(e.g.: Raytheon’s asset list is half goodwill,or in other words, assessed relationships)
  9. 9. 9Introduction 8As today’s accountant must estimate corporateassets based on their potential relationships,and, Activity Based Costing (ABC) givesa new relational view from “cost centers,”core to the “new” economy is intellectualproperty and its relationship potential.
  10. 10. 10Introduction 9For athletics, it turns out that great runnersnaturally perform below their individual levelsas members of a relay team. It is supposed theincreased anonymity and reduced affect on theoutcome explain such performance declines.outcome explain such performance declines.But, a strong and honest coach can flame thedesire to learn and produce by stroking teamrelational affection to where member’s personaltimes synergistically surpass all prior ceilings.
  11. 11. 11Introduction 11Historians agree the assassination of ArchdukeFrances may have sparked the start of WorldWar I, but that the real causes of the conflictwere embedded in the political, economic, andsocial relationships of Europe at that time.While it’s popular to think that guns areWhile it’s popular to think that guns areresponsible for violence in Africa, politicalscientists agree it is rather the well-intentionedactions of American relief efforts that corruptgovernment-citizen relationships by “givingthem fish instead of teaching them to fish.”
  12. 12. 12Introduction 11Much like violence in Africa, violence inAmerican streets can only be truly addressedwhen gangs are seen as key to the solutioninstead of only as a key problem (gangs are anatural result of the relational disorganization ofdisfranchised Irish, Italian, Black, Hispanic, etc).disfranchised Irish, Italian, Black, Hispanic, etc).While Chicago’s Vice Lords opened schoolsand businesses and the Black Panthers gavekids breakfast, the “War on Gangs” only causedan end to reforms with more ghettos & violence(it’s LA’s FACES that’s uniting the Red & Blue).
  13. 13. 13Introduction 11Dr. Hassan founded Ex-Moon Inc and later theFreedom of Mind Resource Center. Dr. Hassanargues successful groups are only those able toinfluence the opinions of others. He says badcults work to think for other people while goodcults work to help people think for themselves.Dr. Nicola Bunting says the ability to effectivelymanipulate the opinions of others (as in sales,preaching, or even teaching) is a postmodernskill requirement. She calls those with immatureand impoverished personalities who but mouththoughts “schooled” them by others Zombies.
  14. 14. 14Introduction 12Communism is firmly based on the idea that ifthe “evil” system (of capitalism and religion) isremoved, a socialist man of perfect characterwill emerge (but it hasn’t ever happened andeconomist Steven Levitt and others have wellshown lone people are quite poor at assessingrisk and avoiding temptation) while democracyis based on the idea that integrity is insteadsimply about building quality relationships withaccountability from good checks and balances.
  15. 15. 15Introduction 13The Fifth Discipline in Peter Senge’s book ofthe same name (that Harvard Review saw asmost useful management text of last 75 years)is about the reflective object-oriented relationalthinking that can integrate personal learning(from personal mastery and mental models)into corporate learning (of a shared vision)with a spiritual interconnected sense of thepresent as the only way to continually provethat the whole can exceed the sum of its parts.
  16. 16. 16Introduction 14Senge opens his later book, “Presence,” with“unlike machines [which can be simply brokendown to understand and fix], living systemsare continually growing and changing, ” butStewart Brand showed even buildings are bestStewart Brand showed even buildings are bestviewed as living systems reshaped and refinedover time by their occupants in sharp contrastto prior static “form follows function” thinking inhis inspirational book, “How Buildings Learn,What Happens After They’re Built.” (1994)
  17. 17. 17Introduction 15Moreover, automotive engineers long agreedGM had to employ ten times as many peopleto make about the same number of carsas Toyota that were, sadly, less reliable bothfrom focusing more on reliability of partsrather than the whole car and from usingstrict fixed controls rather than human trust tosustain long-term worker relationships.The goal of Systems Thinking is to look beyondseemingly “obvious” answers and understandthe complex relationships between entities.
  18. 18. 18Introduction 16The Systems Thinking / Dynamics approachto teaching and learning was started at theCatalina Foothills Orange Grove Middle School(Tucson, Arizona) in 1994 and similarprograms now exist in Michigan, Oregon,Massachusetts, Iowa, Georgia and Maryland(see include computer simulations,diagramming tools, systems games, andphysical activities (a science class, say, mightfocus on biological systems where studentsexperiment with the relational impact of variousamounts of rain on the life of an ecosystem).
  19. 19. 19Introduction 12It was said biology determined our destiny.Now, however, neuroscientists agree skills andpersonality have little to due with the brains(and neurons) we were born with. It is insteadthe growing synaptic networks (until age 25),affected profoundly by teachers and parents,that decide if we’ll grow up to be a surgeon ora slacker. Good or bad, we are made by ourrelationships during “windows of opportunity.”
  20. 20. 20Introduction 10For adult or self-help therapy,Dr. Henry Cloud showed in “How People Grow”how the four popular Christian counselingmodels (based on holy gifts and tasks) of theSin Model (Good is good, you’re bad stop it),the Truth Model (just think it and do it), theExperimental Model (dig up pain for praying),and the Charismatic Healing Model never helpas much as one might expect and that only aRelational Model can get past growth ceilings.
  21. 21. 21Introduction 17For child delinquency therapy, S. D.Elliot (1998) reviewed 500 violence preventionprograms (that mostly focused on tasks, e.g.:zero tolerance, scared straight, DARE, bootand wilderness camps – not addressing anyknown risk factors and usually making thingsworse) and only three (that focused instead onrelationships) did any good: Functional FamilyTherapy, Oregon Treatment Foster Care,and (the best) Multisystemic Therapy (MST).
  22. 22. 22Introduction 18The MST professional must go beyond basicSystems Theory to sufficiently address thecentral interpersonal control and relationshipissues to predict which type of problems areassociated with which type of organizationalstructures and interaction patterns. And, get therequired support to collectively brainstorm andidentify a specific problem behavior, the keysuccess factors for change, and strengths inregards to the associated social factors.
  23. 23. 23Introduction 19Pirsig’s field of Metaphysics of Quality (intro-edwith Zen and Motorcycle Maintenance) arguesthat quality is both objective (essentialism) andsubjective (idealism), being greater than either.Social Constructionism attempts to describeSocial Constructionism attempts to describehow people cooperate in building the subjectiveelement of our social reality starting with Bergerand Luckmann claim in their 1966 “The SocialConstruction of Reality” that all “reality” has asocial framework (also see Colbert’s Wikiality).
  24. 24. 24Introduction 21Plato’s definition of art as imitation was used inthe art world until last century’s anti-essentialistmovement, fueled by the collage art style (usinga collection of real items, e.g.: Picasso’s StillLife with Chair Caning) that took us beyond thecubistic illusion of multiple perspectives to a farcubistic illusion of multiple perspectives to a farmore messy and real collective view of thespiritual impact of the world on our well-being.Alas, the failure of many modern art books tomake a distinction between even montage andcollage threatens this reflective art revolution.
  25. 25. 25Introduction 20Alas, even sales organizations typically don’tunderstand the importance of such a collectiveapproach. “A 2008 Selling Power online surveyfound that 29 percent of sales leaders judgedtheir CEO useless when it comes to creating atheir CEO useless when it comes to creating asale.” --Selling Power publisher GerhardGschwandtner adds that before a company canever be customer centric it must first, of course,be employee (especially direct sales) centric.
  26. 26. 26Introduction 22So, who can benefit from Direct Sales skills?Software developers, data architects,managers, department heads, salespersons,accountants, attorneys, coaches, historians,politicians, architects, engineers, evangelists,politicians, architects, engineers, evangelists,social workers, teachers, students, consultants,therapists, sociologists, artists, and CEOs.No matter your career path, To Sell Is Human(Daniel Pink) to persuade and to understand.
  27. 27. 27Introduction 22Process improvements generating exponentialparadigm shifts cause informational singularitiesSuch as the Agricultural Revolution for theHunter-Gatherer, then the Industrial Revolution,and finally last century’s Information Revolution.and finally last century’s Information Revolution.But, what might come next?Many believe it will be a “fifth wave” revolution ofrelational sciences as a new development basisfor a “new” economy based on social capital.
  28. 28. 28Introduction 22Why did I build this presentation?In the real world, egos and codependentrelationships often produce personal goals thatundermine best practices. And, trust is difficult ina world of high-tech communications and globala world of high-tech communications and globalmarkets based on deceitful practices. Thus, it’shard to predict success for either an open “noone at the top” or a charismatic management.Or, nobody taught me what I needed to know.
  29. 29. 29Introduction 22The Human Need To Be SeenWhile many have shown neurotic transferencesof childhood events into our adult lives startwhen parent, teacher, etc, prioritized their ownneeds above our childhood needs, such canneeds above our childhood needs, such canalso occur due to fears over not being noticed.Plus, the “new economy” business model is nolonger about making money, but social capital.And, the science of being seen is called SALES.
  30. 30. 307-Point Lecture Agenda1. What makes a good Direct Salesperson? →All sales require knowledge of the following2. Small Talk Basics and Catharsis Theory →3. Neuroeconomic Psychology Concepts →3. Neuroeconomic Psychology Concepts →4. Enemy Mine: embracing incompleteness →5. Buyer Behaviors and the Buyer Cycle →6. Management’s need to track the Sales Cycle →7. When to Hard Sell and when to Soft Sell →And, Sales Coaching (so to bring it all home)
  31. 31. 31#1: Direct Sales Is The Best• Anyone who changes people’s opinions and gainscommitments by building trusting relationships– Thus, sales is no different from teaching or evangelismin using “soft power” (not sticks or carrots) for change• Gutek, et al (2000)1, found in multiple surveys that<Home>• Gutek, et al (2000) , found in multiple surveys thatwhen customers expected to interact with thesame person in the future, they reported moretrust in and better knowledge of their providers,were more likely to continue doing business withthe provider, and were more likely to refer theprovider to others than customers who received adifferent person each time they called or whoanticipated only a one time service encounter.
  32. 32. 32Direct Sales DISC Profile• William Marston’s “Emotions of Normal People”(1928) Dual-axis (male/female) personality test• Ideal DISC Profile of the successful sales person– Hi Dominance: socially proactive (assertive or charming– Hi Dominance: socially proactive (assertive or charmingas the situation demands) with no fear of confrontation– Hi Interpersonal Skills: a fast talking but warm extrovert– Low Steadiness: preferring high stress environments– Low Compliance: likes to be in charge using out of thebox ideas even if they may cause missed deadlines• Also, self-motivated, independent, and confident• Most aren’t and feel uneasy around sales people
  33. 33. 33Valuable Sales Values(need 1-2 “that’s definitely me”)• Certain values are important to productive sales– Discussing an “ideal” sales personality is reallyabout developing key fruitful relationship values• Do you send out a hundred Christmas / birthdaycards each year to personal friends and family?cards each year to personal friends and family?– Don’t claim this if it’s really your spouse that’s doing it– Moreover, does this include a card for your butcher?• Is it a rare occurrence that you eat lunch alone?• Key to sales is a love for a “warm” marketDo you enjoy many brief encounters?– Six degrees of separation is due to such “connectors”
  34. 34. 34Valuable Sales Values (cont)• Do you value being a provider, driven (notpossessed) by increasingly profitable efforts?– Do you pay someone to iron your shirts and don’t haveextensive hobbies with “better” uses of your time?• Were you able to talk your way out of trouble• Were you able to talk your way out of trouble(and others in) as a child prodigy “spin” master?– Or, do you value developing such skills currently?• Do you have sufficiently “flexible” or “situational”ethics (see “Thank you for Smoking”) or is it moreimportant for you to instead always be “right?”– If an attorney, say, could you defend a murderer?
  35. 35. 35Valuable Sales Values (cont)• Are you driven by a love of information – if youknow about cars, is it, for example, from a love ofcars or more from a love of just any knowledge?– Do you ask lots of questions from a curiosity to learnfrom others (believing you can learn from anyone)?from others (believing you can learn from anyone)?– Do friends turn to you for advice on purchases?• Do you “need” to improve people (be “useful”)?– Do you solve your own problems by solving other’sand solve other’s problems by solving your own?– Apostle Paul wholly failed as a evangelist until hestopped for 20 years to work as a carpet salesman
  36. 36. 36Any Good Professional 2• Creative, energetic, with a good heart/manners• Motivated, strong work ethic, feels accountable• Flexible, creative, and often very open minded• Intelligent, with common sense (“street smarts”)• Intelligent, with common sense (“street smarts”)• Able to shift to organizational ecology as focus• Open to peer supervision and working in teams• Strong sense of ethics; keeps to higher ground• Likely to volunteer to be trained or do training• Willing to modify policies & dedicate resources• Fully able to take the “lead” in decision making
  37. 37. 37Vulnerable To Depression• Ironically, these very same success producingqualities often create a vulnerability to depression• For one thing, many high achievers turn out to be“super survivors” who come from backgrounds offamily violence or substance abuse (where thefamily violence or substance abuse (where theparent’s needs took precedence over the child’s)– Worry about living up to gender stereotypic worldview(more often boys, 4 times more likely to commit suicide)– And, their desire for long hours comes from learning todelay gratification (often taken for emotional maturity)– Thus, becoming a success is more fun than being one;so, often depressed, bored, fearful, without an identity
  38. 38. 38Must You Be Natural Born?• Fewer than 15% of salespersons (the few whocan relate with buyer’s time, agenda, purpose,etc.) drive over half of all sales – Why is this?• Even in our democratic society, most people liketo believe that success must be born into youto believe that success must be born into you– There are few sales degrees (but, that’s changing)– 70% of managers believe success needs no training– Forbes even lists Sales as one of the few top payingprofessions with the least required education, but• No, sales is science and the #1 antecedent isthe number of successful seminars completedin people, sales, and time management skills!
  39. 39. 39University Sales Programs 3• William Paterson University: 1st B.S. in Prof. Sales– Sponsors the National Sales Challenge Competition• Kennesaw State Univ: Sales Major since 1989– Sponsors National Collegiate Sales Competition• University of Toledo: Accredited MBA Sales spec.• University of Toledo: Accredited MBA Sales spec.• Western Michigan University: Sales Bus. Major• Western Kentucky University: Sales Bus. Major• College of St. Catherine: Healthcare Sales & B2B• Illinois State university: Sales Major & Executive• Specialized programs exist for Sports (Baylor), etc• Online programs: Jones International, Kaplan, etc
  40. 40. 40Common Sales Myths• Selling is a numbers game. No, sales is not alottery won by those with the most tickets, but wonby better research, marketing, and relationships– Sales is really far more like brain surgery than bingo• You must like people. No, great selling is notbeing willing to cozy up to anyone with a bankroll• People must like you. No, people should trustyou; but, a good listener will outsell a fast talker• Sales has its unavoidable ups and downs. No,sales is only a process driven roller coaster ridewithout well developed vision, goals, & planning
  41. 41. 41More Common Sales Myths• Rejection is the name of the game. No, it’s notthe sales person that loses, it’s the prospect’s loss• You must develop a thick skin. No, having aninternal reservoir of strength for the inevitableinternal reservoir of strength for the inevitablesetbacks isn’t about being offensively aggressive.Professional sales result in win-win situations.– 85% of presidents, CEO, etc. were once salespeople• Stress is inevitable. No, anyone can accept theworld for what it is and people for whom they are.Sales is simply finding what people are doing andhelping them (providing leverage) to do it better.
  42. 42. 42More Common Sales Myths• The best salespeople naturally make the bestsales managers. No, top salespeople (just liketop engineers, top doctors, etc.) often make thevery worst sales managers (or whatever mgr).• Everyone is a potential customer as you cansell anybody anything anytime. No, some buytoday, some tomorrow, and clearly some never.• You only need to hear six more no’s frompoor prospects and the next one is sure tobuy. No, you can hear 100 straight no’s and youcan still very well hear no from number 101.
  43. 43. 43#1 Myth Is, Again, Activity• “To double sales, see twice the people.”• This makes the most sense to any door to doorsalesperson selling a simple commodity but theleast sense to anyone using a value added modelleast sense to anyone using a value added model– when it can actually even decrease your sales• Prospect-to-sales and profit-per-client ratios (andhow they compare to the competition) are muchmore useful – and, such ratios focus on what youalready have, not what you don’t– And so, no, sales is a game of ratios (or rates)
  44. 44. 44Sales isn’t a Game of Numbers• You often see believers frantically tracking theirnumber of calls as well as their prospect visits• But, sales is not a calculation (or lottery) becauseit’s more about creating new relationships andit’s more about creating new relationships andresearching what potential clients most need• Sales is a QUALITY numbers game. If you seeenough of the right people (qualified prospects),building friendships, you will make lots of sales.– And, the natural high volume of rejection from talking toanyone and everyone will eventually take its toll on you
  45. 45. 45While Yes Comes After No• We are raised to believe we individually chooseto be winners who get yes’s or losers who getnos, but real “winning” comes by desire to “lose”– Businesses shown to succeed only by surviving failing• We are all born with the ability to lose and some• We are all born with the ability to lose and somelearn to accept necessary losing in order to buildone’s comfort zone, but real success starts bybeing attracted to no’s, losing, as well as conflict• But, living up to one’s potential means losingexponentially individually as well as in groups– Quality is about continually increasing improvements,or rate; not any level of performance, or number(s).
  46. 46. 46But, “No” Really Hurts• It’s a punch in the face (worse than sticks andstones) – often comes after “It’s not personal”• We have all experienced times of weakness andpowerlessness; it didn’t feel good. We’ve beenpowerlessness; it didn’t feel good. We’ve beenschooled to believe we must fit it. But, insecurityis synonymous with a frantic need for security.– In Start with NO, Jim Camp says “Fear of rejection is asign of neediness – specifically, the need to be liked”and suggests we start every negotiation contrarily.– “You do not need it. You only want it.” Being focusedon the end goal (the sales quota) can make you needy.
  47. 47. 47How To Survive “Failing”• A good sense of self and one’s vision statement• Knowing how to break big failures into small ones• Being good at having fun at any job (what I callthe Mary Poppins effect) and recharging quicklythe Mary Poppins effect) and recharging quickly• Knowing customer, problems, needs, hopes, etc.• Sources of sideline cheerleading & accountability• Keep a journal of what you do “right” each day• Chapter Four: Embracing One’s Incompleteness– Emotional and strategy development through expertextro-spection to better stimulate double-loop learning
  48. 48. 48Comparing Sales To Marketing• Marketing uses advertising, promotions, publicity,and feedback to mold societal wants and productsto each other for greatest traffic “through the door”– Marketing often starts in Sales to remove such researchload only later to manage Sales as last Marketing step,load only later to manage Sales as last Marketing step,is this as marketing better understands relationships?• Sales then converts those prospects into buyerswith expertise in “closing the deal” using personalquestioning to learn and satisfy customer wants– “a systematic process of repetitive and measurablemilestones of relating a product to achieve buyer goals”(see Selling Without Confrontation by Jack Green4)
  49. 49. 49#2: Small Talk Outline• First Impressions– Giving them what they want to see and hear– Don’t look like a salesperson fit in, like a zebra• Small Talk and Networking<Home>– Mostly about shared affirmations and congruence– Be purpose-driven and share topic negotiation– Killing “speed bumps” with kindness and small gifts• Catharsis Theory of shared experiences– Developing shared emotional insight and affection– Discovery (“active listening”) – not easily taught– While always working to avoid any and all face threats
  50. 50. 50Little Time For First Impressions• Credibility established in opening statement– 1/20th of second to develop an emotional attraction– 3 seconds to be appealing and capture their attention– 5 seconds to begin building a lasting first impression• Malcolm Gladwell’s Blink 5& Christine Perfetti’s 5-Sec Tests 6• Malcolm Gladwell’s Blink 5& Christine Perfetti’s 5-Sec Tests 6– 8 seconds to finish a message THEY find interesting• About the time it takes to slowly stroll past a exhibit booth– Or else, they will become bored and move on• Then, expect about seven follow-ups to fix things, if you can• People enjoy being right and will continue on apoor but immediately attractive person / web site> So, you must be immediately attractive! <
  51. 51. 51Instant “Halo” Generators 7• Good looking + grooming + taller = Social Benefits– Children know attractive kids are more often forgiven• Compliments, even fake just like canned laughter– Guinness’ Best Salesman Joe Girard sends a card toall 13,000 car buyers every month saying “I like you!”all 13,000 car buyers every month saying “I like you!”• Cooperative exercises or Good cop / Bad cop– Finding “lost” money is more valuable than “saved”– “If we ‘pull together,’ I can ‘do battle’ with my boss tosecure a good deal for you!” works even if you “fail”• Association with good food as well as good news– “Let me buy you lunch, we deserve to celebrate!”• Authority with humility: “We’re # 2, but we try harder”
  52. 52. 52Proxemics (Spacing and Posture)• Influence is inversely proportional to the square(or cube) of the distance between two people– Intimate space goes to 18 inches; Personal to fourfeet; Social to 12 feet; and, Public to 25 feet away (thelast two replace the primitive fight or flight space)last two replace the primitive fight or flight space)• Humans make territorial claims just like animals– Walking behind someone’s desk can be very invasive• People use personal items like photos to mark their space– Sociofugal spaces are organized for interpersonalcommunication (square spaces more comfortable),whereas sociopetal spaces encourage more solidarity– Americans need to “get otta’ my face” while backingaway tells an Egyptian or Iranian they are unworthy
  53. 53. 53Emulate A Close Relationship• Smiling, general facial pleasantness, affirmativehead nods, gestural animation, head tilts, relaxedbody, lack of any random movements, open bodypositions, and, most critical, postural congruence(sit or stand in line with their position and posture)(sit or stand in line with their position and posture)– Close, direct body orientation and leaning forward– Mutual eye contact but decreasing eye movements– Watch TV with a mirror and try emulating expressions• Pitch variation, amplitude, duration, and warmth– Reinforcing interjections such as “uh-huh” and “mm-hmmm,” greater fluency, expressiveness, and clarity• Above all, you must produce smooth turn-taking
  54. 54. 54Appearance Congruence• Clothes, speech, and image should express fullsocial agreement with the buyer (expectations)– Execu-Speak to Managers, Techno-Speak to Geeks,Denaro-Speak to Bean Counters, Slang to the Young• Best to become like them be a chameleon!• Best to become like them be a chameleon!– My 9-year old son saw me working on this slide andcried out, “Dad, You mean, ‘be a zebra!’ Zebrasblend in with others while chameleons fade away.”• You must also convey an honest desire to solvetheir problems and not the need to make a sale– Not be seen as pushy, self-centered, or manipulative– But, appear as knowledgeable, honest, and genuine
  55. 55. 55Don’t Look Like A Salesperson• Your suit and tie can confirm buyer’s expectationsof yet another person only pretending to help anda scripted opening may then validate such fears– May yell, “Whatever you’re selling, we don’t want any!”get in sync with the Buyer’s emotions• At least, get in sync with the Buyer’s emotions– “Yes, I’m sure that’s true! Of course, you don’t! And,who could blame you? But, you need it! Well, of course,it’s not cheap. If you give me a minute, I’ll tell you whyyou not only need to help me get a nice commissionpaycheck but why you going to be thrilled to do so.”– Amazon’s Customer Support e-mail replies are angryabout customer problems: “I’m very upset about ”
  56. 56. 56Appear Genuine 8• More than appearance and emotional syncing• Maintain good eye contact – no darting about• Animated (not fidgety), using hands for emphasis• Don’t distance yourself with 2nd and 3rd person• Don’t distance yourself with 2nd and 3rd personpronouns like “you,” “we,” and “they;” use names• “To tell you the truth” or “to be perfectly honest”suggests you normally lie – don’t say such things!• Agree and compliment: “Great idea last week!”• Ask permission, “Can I give you some ideas thatmight enhance your office, project, or career?”
  57. 57. 57And, Sound Connected• Whether looking to connect with a client, or adate, we might start off a conversation with• “How was your day?”• But reconsider, it would be better to start with• But reconsider, it would be better to start with“How are you doing?” – the all time classic• Or even better, “Is your mom / family doing well?”• Or the ultimate, “I saw (or heard) something (say,a presentation) today that made me think of you.”• These questions sound like you want to “connect”to the person’s current emotional state of mind
  58. 58. 58Good vs. Great• GOOD salespeople are polished and professional;plus, they’ve got a great pitch and are very likable.– BUT, they make most prospects wary. People may likeand even support them, but certainly don’t trust them.• GREAT salespeople could look like above, or be• GREAT salespeople could look like above, or befolksy like a good country preacher, or even be atotal mess but, great means being genuine!– GREAT is about being stubborn, aggressive, andpersistent without ever being perceived as those things– If you’re told you’re a great salesperson, you not! Theyjust bought something they normally wouldn’t have– It’s much better if they say, “You make a lot of sense.”
  59. 59. 59History of Small Talk Bonding• Military salute originates from knights lifting theirvisor when deciding not to fight – thus, it simplysays, “I see you and recognize you as an equal”• Hand shake says, “Look, I am not carrying aweapon – you can trust me (at least, to a point)”weapon – you can trust me (at least, to a point)”• Small Talk should likewise communicate toneand rhythm before “getting down to business”• No real or “task” information should be shared –moving too quickly “at” the person only says onedoes not respect the other (figuratively has aknife with visor closed) and is ready to be trouble
  60. 60. 60Definition of Small Talk• Often considered superficial, Small Talk is for:– Starting and ending most any English interaction– Filling uncomfortable silence – important to Americans– Overall, helping build and maintain relationships• Requires knowledge of small talk rules, languagefluency and vocabulary, and ability to discussmany topics, esp. about yourself and their culture• Meeting at a restaurant, you can say “Was there alot of traffic? Did you have any trouble finding thebuilding? I hope it doesnt rain again tomorrow.”(from:
  61. 61. 61The Four Steps of Small Talk1.It is best to start with the other person’s name:“Hi Mike, I’m Jim. How are you doing?”– The dominant interactant (or Alpha) speaks first– “Good to see you” better than “Good to meet you”>> Encourage other with several “yes” questions>> Encourage other with several “yes” questions– “Enjoying the weather?” “Did you order this sunshine?”– “Did you see the game yesterday?” “ the TV show?”– “Is your mother / family well?” “Would you like a mint?”2.Respond with whole sentence, no real information– “Yes, it’s gorgeous. I love hot, sunny days.”– “Yea, Mom is really enjoying retirement.”– “I’m having a lot of trouble with my asthma.” <= NO!
  62. 62. 624 Steps of Small Talk (continued)3.One can respond to the provided response by– Echo question/statement (“Am I well?” or “You’re well.”)– Checking back (“Is that right?” or “Did you say ?”)– Acknowledgement (“I see”) or simple affirmation (“Yes”)– Confirming an expected response (“Right,” “That’s– Confirming an expected response (“Right,” “That’strue,” “That’s very astute,” or “Indeed, that has been<my or other’s> experience”). The best response isa very strong positive evaluation: “That’s great!”4.The final move consists only of various idlingbehavior (like “Mhm”, “Really”, “Yea”, etc.) untilstarting over or ending w/ “Enjoy your weekend,”“I enjoyed seeing you,” or “Have a great day!”
  63. 63. 63Small Talk Builds Trust• Moving too quickly is a face threat (for example,asking a stranger how much money he or she hasor what kind of deodorant he or she prefers)– But, Social Penetration Theory shows we like (or trust)people who gradually engage in self-disclosure and wepeople who gradually engage in self-disclosure and wetend as well to then disclose more to people we like– “You’ve got to be believed to be heard” by Bert Decker9• Small Talk emphasizes interpersonal goals in aritualized way to “grease the wheels” of “task talk”– Which works only IF there is a repeated sharing ofspoken (as well as appearance) affirmations– So, we need them to say “yes” (most anything works)
  64. 64. 64Networking Example• Mike, good to see you.Are you doing well?• Is that right? So, is yourmom also doing OK?• Thanks for asking, Jim.Yes, I am (nodding).• Yea, Mom’s reallyenjoying also doing OK?• That’s great! Mint?• You’re welcome. Hey,did you catch the localball game last night?• That’s really true!• I enjoyed seeing you.enjoying retirement.• Yes, thanks. [third yes]• The warmer weathermakes going out to agame much more fun.• Mhm [third affirmation]• Well, have a good day.
  65. 65. 65Trawling• Billy Beane of the Oakland A’s (who often beatteams with 2.5 times larger budgets) calls theconstant networking he does with other GeneralManagers (keeping tabs on the information heneeds for future trading success) “Trawling”needs for future trading success) “Trawling”– Trawling: fishing with two boats and a large net• Beane also Trawls brochures and Web sites• Beane also purposely Trawls all the players– To help boost the value of one trade to get another• He smells money if anyone says, “I have to ”– Doesn’t even need to be in any way about baseball
  66. 66. 66Know Where You’re GoingRealtor: Alright. Fromyour names, I can seethat you’re related. Bymarriage, right?Realtor: Really? When?Client: Yes, we’renewlyweds.Client: June eleventh.Realtor: Really? When?Realtor: Congratulations.Realtor: Holy cow.Realtor: You guys don’tfool around, do you?Client: June eleventh.Client: We’re alsoexpecting a baby.Client: In May. So. Andwe want to buy ahouse.(From Negotiated Collusion by Cassell and Bickmore10)
  67. 67. 67Where You’re Going (continued)Realtor: You took awhileto decide then it waslike, let’s do it all.Realtor: That’s the way.Do you know if it’s toClient: Moving into thenew Millennium. So.Client: We find out nextweek.Do you know if it’s tobe a boy or a girl?Realtor: When’s it’s due?Realtor: Very good.Realtor: Awesome. Youwant the house beforethe child?week.Client: May 29th.Client: Yea. Good timing.<= The Destination(From Negotiated Collusion by Cassell and Bickmore 10)
  68. 68. 68Where You’re Going (continued)• The Realtor was determining sale parameters– How many Influencers are involved in the purchase– The size of the family, and therefore, how big of ahouse they will need near-term (may buy more later)– The projected time line for the purchase and use– The projected time line for the purchase and use• As well as critical social features of the clients– Building rapport with small talk through intimacy withself-disclosure, credibility with expert jargon, socialnetworking with gossip, and “face” with politeness– How close they felt with her at that moment, andtherefore, how likely they are to want to work with her– Never seeming to be (or actually being) in a hurry
  69. 69. 69Be Purpose Driven• Return to step #1 for “yes” sharing until leaving– Susan Roane, the “Mingling Maven,” says effectivenetworking (which is only about small talk) requires aperson simply to, “Be bright. Be brief. Be gone.”11– Keith Ferrazzi (Never Eat Alone12) says don’t schmooze– Keith Ferrazzi (Never Eat Alone ) says don’t schmooze– Dale Carnegie said smile, use name, question, listen– Don’t Sell, but Network bumps and other influencers• Or, decide it’s time for a deeper conversation– Catharsistic communication consisting of emotionalinsight, understanding, and actions of commitment– Know your intent & mission (next sales cycle,recommendation, etc.) and primary benefits• 75% of people have no objective when making a sales call
  70. 70. 70Be Empathetic• Use “You” mode summarizing empatheticstatements: “You feel ” and “You’re feeling”• Facilitate safe access to negative emotions and buildidentification in order to even “read between the lines”• Also, use “I” mode empathetic statements• Also, use “I” mode empathetic statementstemporarily assuming the other person’s identity:“Mike, I’m really upset about [his problem]”– This will help develop an understanding of the “real”problems as well as communicate they’re not yours– This externalization will help the client recognize otherperspectives and be more open to new solutions
  71. 71. 71And, Share Topic Negotiation• Rather than being introduced by one speaker– Topics can be proposed via “topical bids” (such as “Ijust got back from vacation”) and then accepted withinterest “topicalizers” (such as “Oh, yea?”)– Proposals (“Well, that reminds me of a story.”)– Proposals (“Well, that reminds me of a story.”)– Contributions should fit within the topic progression• Gradual topic transitions in a smooth stepwiseand collaborative manner in order to displaymutual willingness to enter the new discussion– “Intimacy is as much a ‘negotiated collusion’ as it is astate of ‘true oneness’” (Brown and Rogers, 1991).– See Cassell and Bickmore’s Negotiated Collusion10
  72. 72. 72Use Bridging Statements• For moving from the Small Talk to the Work Talk– Simplest: “Well, I don’t want to monopolize your time,the reason/purpose for my call/e-mail/seeing you is ”• Bridging is also used to restate prior informationwith a confirming question to gain agreementwith a confirming question to gain agreement– Normally, this would be used in later meetings with,say, “Has anything changed since our last meeting?”– Allow the customer to make corrections or additionsand then follow up by returning to another bridging• Finally, bridging is used to the referral request– “Since you’ve discovered first-hand my value-addedservice, who else do you think can likewise benefit?”
  73. 73. 73Are You Linked In? 13• business oriented socialnetwork includes cell phone access (5x yearly)– Others are Facebook, Jigsaw, Orkut, Spoke, Xeegua– First introduction, or take edge off of a first meeting– Fundamentally changing the nature of lead generation• Just E-mail a link before meeting with a prospect– For a quick introduction, resume highlights, hobbies– Letting prospects update their own contact information– BUT, this also allows competition to see your contacts– Spend 15 minutes a day researching targets, askingfor introductions, and reciprocating the same for others
  74. 74. 74Identify “Speed Bumps”• Anyone with the ability to slow down the salescycle: receptionists, secretaries, or assistants– They can rob you of time and provide undue grief• Acting like gate guards, they can be hard to get• Acting like gate guards, they can be hard to getalong with or impossible to get information from– Can be “Speed Bumps” for many potential prospects;plus, can easily be promoted to buyer in the future• Develop long-term relationships by “killing” themwith kindness of flowers, candy, and small gifts– Network (not sell) Buyer’s bumps, peers, and “heroes”• New speed bump is the automated phone system
  75. 75. 75Understand Catharsis Theory• Aristotle said watching a tragedy can purge oneof strong emotions (also by Feshbach & Singer)– Like blowing off steam or a good cry, if leads to change• Strong empathy and psychological identificationcan be developed by shared sensation seekingcan be developed by shared sensation seeking– Can backfire, takes effort and time, better in person– Golf, lunch, movie/date, Internet blogging, & YouTube– Strategic and operational social marketing both use acustomer oriented and viral marketing approach fromsustainable marketing and social media optimizationtechniques to “mashup” differing shared experiences– Only if energy is directed into understanding problems
  76. 76. 76Feeling Good Can Be Bad!• In 1951, Powers & Witmer studied high-risk boys– Half were counseled and sent to YMCA after 5 years,therapists felt most had “benefited substantially;” boysagreed: it gave them insight & kept them out of trouble.• Yet, the “helped” boys committed more crimes &• Yet, the “helped” boys committed more crimes &were more affected by alcoholism, mental illness,and lower job satisfaction than those left alone.– See The Crying Game14by Dr. Richard Bolstad• Like therapy, crying, and even religion, sales onlyhas value if it encourages the individual to growand not simply to feel better about who they are!– “If you’ve never been hurt by a word from God, you’veprobably never heard Him speak.” – Amy Carmichael
  77. 77. 77Developing Emotional Insight• Sales and marketing based on people makingconscious and rational decisions is FALSE!– Cognitive science shows 95% of all human behavior(more for women) controlled by emotional connections(familiars and whether they will make us look/feel good)(familiars and whether they will make us look/feel good)• Products either cheaper or more loved – be loved!– And yet, 90% of salespeople ask insulting questions• Become aware of your own driving subconsciousfeelings and pay more attention to context thancontent (the “media is the message”) by isolatingyour senses (body language and sound of voice)– Listen and observe more while talking and acting less
  78. 78. 78Emotional Insight (continued)• Five Why’s15to discover underlying motivations– Why is more emotional than How, Who, or When– For example, community donations are not about howmuch others are helped but acting on one’s beliefs andmicro-brewed beer is not about quality but showing offmicro-brewed beer is not about quality but showing off– Mom’s prefer unhurried doctors with good eye contactthan degrees from top colleges and UPS customersprefer feeling informed on options than fastest delivery• Others: Why should they care? Have you grabbedtheir interest? What should they feel? Why shouldthey believe you? Have you sold yourself as bestdelivery? What do you want them to remember?
  79. 79. 79Exchange of Information• This means understanding rather than knowing– Transmitting data is secondary in developing a lastingunderstanding between people this is why mostbonding conversations involves no real exchange ofhard information at all. Alas, TVs, emails, cell phones,hard information at all. Alas, TVs, emails, cell phones,and fewer places to assemble usually skip small talkconversations today and makes building trust harder.– We often send mixed messages, only repeat ourselvesinstead of respond, use blocked body language, fail toask for feedback, and wholly miss critical cultural cues– Ask more questions; don’t fall into features and price!• Keep factual situational questions like how many to a minimum
  80. 80. 80Info Exchange (continued)• Most info should be about jokes and stories, food,music, health, birthdays and anniversaries, itemsfor sale (EBay), playing games, and hobbies• Physical proximity often facilitates learning about• Physical proximity often facilitates learning aboutother’s interests and abilities, task coordination,and builds relationships via informal, relativelyunplanned communications (e.g.: at water cooler)– My favorite meetings are “accidental” ones in hallways• Building trust with social dialog that begins withnon-intimate topics and then slowly progresses– KISS: Keep It Simple but Smart, then more complex
  81. 81. 81True Even For Virtual Agents(Like MS Bob & Paper Clip)From “Relational Agents16” by Timothy Bickmore and Justine Cassell• Users prefer computers that compliment, usehumor, cultural lingo, & deepening self-disclosure• Resnick & Lammers showed it is easier to alteruser behavior by corrective error messages viadifferent humanness levels for user self-esteemdifferent humanness levels for user self-esteem– Task-oriented computer-ese for low self-esteem, morehuman-like for high-esteem, Resnick/Lammers 1985• REA is a real-time, life-sized Real Estate Agentthat responds to turn-taking gestures,allows herself to be interrupted, repairsmisunderstandings, and elicits trust bytalking about the weather, herself, etc.
  82. 82. 82The Critical Friendship Goal• Closeness: each conversational topic has aprerequisite familiarity before introducing it(especially for sensitive topics like money)>> This is why cold calls frequently fail! <<>> This is why cold calls frequently fail! <<– Topic coherence and relevance: such as from weather,to Boston weather, and finally to Boston real estate– Task goals: discovering hidden key personal needs– Logical preconditions: such as one must first determineif a person is a student before asking them their majorIf you can’t “Dad was replaced by a small gizmo thatcould do everything he could; even Mom bought one!”
  83. 83. 83Defining Power (Net Zero Sum)• The ability of one to control the behavior of others• Solidarity (or Brown and Levinson’s 1978 SocialDistance) is “like-mindedness” or similar behaviordispositions (e.g., similar political membership,family, religion, profession, interests, gender, etc)• Familiarity develops with reciprocal exchanges,beginning with non-intimate topics and graduallyprogressing to more personal and private topics– Growth can be represented by the breadth (number oftopics) and depth (public to private) of information• Affect (trust) is degree of apreciating above two
  84. 84. 84Defining “Face”• Goffman defined “Line” as patterns of action bywhich individuals present an image of themselvesand “Face” as “the positive social value a personeffectively claims for himself by the line othersassume he has taken during a particular contact.”assume he has taken during a particular contact.”• Face is maintained by having one’s line accepted– Events incompatible with how we want people to seeus must be avoided or mitigated so not to lose face– Face threats from overt power, low familiarity, socialdistance, and speech (informing, requesting, rejecting)can force one to back off, to work “under the radar,” doredressive (pos or neg) strategies, or perform poorly
  85. 85. 85Redressing Face Threats• Grice’s (1975) communication rules are: speaktruthfully, say no more or less than required, norandom topics but follow the “flow,” and be clear• Missing manners to avoid Face Threatening Acts• Missing manners to avoid Face Threatening Acts– E.g.: simple statements in text can be read as “flames”• Could instead say nothing (but little profit in that)• But, familiarity can turn threat into building bonds– Building common ground starts with the weather, etc.,building affective reactions (smiling), synchronizingspeech and appearance, and affirmations (small talk isprimarily about taking turns showing agreement)
  86. 86. 86Sample Face Threat Redressings(“Pass the salt” could be heard as a command)• Best: “I’m sorry, but I’d be grateful for the salt.”– Oriented towards the listener’s autonomy concerns withan apology, incurred debt, and imposition minimization• Pos: “Hey buddy, you want to pass me the salt?”– Incorporates esteem needs and assumed compliance– Incorporates esteem needs and assumed compliance– And, uses common ground, humor, & rewards/promises• Off the record: “Mhm, I find this food a bit bland.”– Plausible deniability with innuendo and ambiguous hint• Min: “Could you just nudge that salt over here?”• Def: “Excuse me, sir, would you pass the salt?”• Pessimistic: “You’re not passing the salt, are you?”
  87. 87. 87Influence of Small Talk on Affect• Avoiding face threatsby sidestepping majorpower imbalances• Showing appreciationfor other’s contributionsfor other’s contributions• Establishing a commonground through stories• Increasing familiarity &solidarity by keeping tocontextual topics• Building coordinationand positive affect withshort synchronizationsFrom “Relational Agents16” by Timothy Bickmore, Justine Cassell
  88. 88. 88Resolving Bottlenecks• First overt cause of conflict is the current or pastclash of values, personalities, or social norms– Be flexible and objective; accept differences and others– Be appreciative; give a smile or small gift (buy a drink)– Switch perspectives and positions to walk in their shoes– Switch perspectives and positions to walk in their shoes• Include someone objective or whom they respect– Respected figures include Doctors, experts, and Mom• Look ahead or even suspend discussions untillater, logic is constant but emotions are not (e.g.:people are more generous during the holidays)• But, there is also another unspoken root cause
  89. 89. 89Discovery• Must be practiced because it’s not easily taught• Establishing a relaxed conversational rapportthat includes learning about the prospect isessential before discussing the product on offer• When it’s time for the final close, the answer willbe so obvious no real decision will be required• While most professionals claim to know how keythis is, few are able to do so efficiently due to notunderstanding basic human thinking and neverhaving been trained on how to phrase questions– As a result, mismanaged efforts end up un-selling
  90. 90. 90#3: Shrink Kit Outline• “All people are out of their minds!” - Dr. Ellis17– Handling a neurotic or disordered buyer / company• Understanding common verbal behaviors / clues– Since, people almost never say what they really mean<Home>– How to negotiate with a difficult buyer (never argue!)• Neuroeconomics (buying is emotional, not logical)– Self-centered, concrete, contrast, short-term, & visual– How to sell to the old brain and raise the unconscious– Using crisis and shock, sell respectfully to the heart– the goal is always a commitment, before any informing• Change Agents persuade for more commitments
  91. 91. 91“People Are Out Of Their Minds!”(symptoms of unmet emotional needs => greatest need)• Dr. Albert Ellis: “[People] are not only disturbed.They get disturbed about their disturbances.”17– Murphy: any human system is inherently unreliable• 30% of Americans clinically dissociated neurotics– More doctor visits for neurotic stress than common cold– More doctor visits for neurotic stress than common cold– Blame themselves, overworked, powerless, depressed,codependent need to help, work as rescuers and fixers• 15% of Americans serious personality disorders– Detached, overemotional, and high risk for addictions,reckless behavior, and clashes with societal norms– “Persecuted” emotional vampires; work as councilors,law enforcement, teachers, religious leaders, and81% of high school bullies end up in management
  92. 92. 92Handling the Neurotic Company• All people / organizations exhibit some neuroses– Conspicuous consumption (i.e. over eating / using)– Constant need to check on others, micromanagement– Shooting messengers of bad news to solve problems• Criticizing (even constructively) only makes them• Criticizing (even constructively) only makes themworse – better to overload them with unimportantinformation, affirmations, gifts, 1-on-1 mirroring 18– Post-trauma → “distraction therapy” overload with info– Compulsive → provide affirmation esp. for failed efforts– Prevalent depression → extra kindness and small gifts– Denial → one-on-one focusing on mirroring behaviors
  93. 93. 93Talking With A Narcissist• Repeatedly find agreements, even the weather,and get closure (confirm, close, & leave a topic)• Sitting is better than standing for being calm• Never validate their self-destructive delusions• Never validate their self-destructive delusions• And, avoid trying to disprove their perceptions• Be assertive and keep positive: never say, “No”• No hedging or dilution such as “I feel awful, but”• Persuade by focusing on interests, not positions• Ask problem-solving and implication questionsthat use their cooperation for building solutions
  94. 94. 94Types of Personality Disorders• Borderline Personality Disorder: wide moodswings, rage, idealization and devaluation– BPDs are the most difficult to read and deal with• Narcissistic Personality Disorder: feelssuperior and entitled to getting special treatmentsuperior and entitled to getting special treatment• Histrionic Personality Disorder: needs chaos• Anti-social Personality Disorder: disregard forsocietal rules and demonstrates little empathy• Dependent Personality Disorder: preoccupiedwith their own helplessness and passivity
  95. 95. 95Personality Disorder Overview• Rigid and adversarial relationship perspectives– Chronic inner distress (fear of abandonment) causesexcessive need for diminishing and controlling others– Experts at blaming others (always better than self)– Lying is often justified by hidden agenda or revenge– Lying is often justified by hidden agenda or revenge– Motivated only by personal reasons (“Christ within”)– Often uses intense fits in order to fool the naive person• So, address their key P. A. S. S. emotional needs– Power: often associated by the “power of the purse”– Affiliation: they may need a new identity by association– Status: they need to feel important, visible, and special– Security: their need for safety overrides everything else
  96. 96. 96Handling Personality Disorders• Challenge carefully their attitudes about their rolein any negotiations, the accuracy of their views,high expectations of the world to go their way,and focus on reducing any and all their anxieties• Maintain control of conversation, slowing down tokeep the conversation simple and well focused• Here, one-on-one isn’t best; better to use a team• Brainstorm solutions, get validation from thosethey value, identify their particular strengths, andencourage them to be part of the solution in orderto support their wholly desperate need for control
  97. 97. 97Did You Hear? Use A Team!• Use a pair of mature, autonomous salespeoplewhere one is the closest possible customer copy– If prospect is a woman, have a woman on the team– If an engineer, best to have an engineer on the team• Thus, best to work with multi-person diverse team– Varying age, gender, speech pattern, background, etc.• In general, PDs are more focused and organized;team will help maintain control of the conversation– Ask neutral, circular, hypothesizing (to lead) questions– E.g.: One team member could ask the other, “What doyou see as the biggest challenge being faced here?”
  98. 98. 9878% Say Rudeness Increasing• Likely unstimulated people feeling a lack of control– esp. working with those of slower tempo under pressureto produce in a hostile and uncreative STJ environment– Connection to victims from hating what they can’t face– Absence of parental involvement and repeated threat of– Absence of parental involvement and repeated threat ofrejection for children will develop either bully or victim• And, people act according to the prevailing culture– With men likely to be more rude only to underlings– And, women equally rude to superiors and subordinates• Repeat offenders without conflict resolution skillsoften end up being passive and then explosive
  99. 99. 99Because Rudeness Sadly Wins• Univ of N. Carolina of 1,400 showed rude peopleare 3 times more likely to be in higher positions19– Workplace bullying linked to over a third of all stressillnesses (, Joyner 2001)– “If you had to brand managers with psycho jargon,– “If you had to brand managers with psycho jargon,they’d be STJs on the Myers-Briggs personality test” –psychologist Ted Bililies (Investment Leadership20)– Harvard’s Teresa Amabile “Creativity in the workplaceget killed much more often than it gets supported.”21– Otto Krueger (Type Talk at Work with Janet Thresen),“Striving for efficiency, managers may produce a workforce full of hostility, stress, and absenteeism.”22
  100. 100. 100Types of Rude People• Reactive: poor socialization skills, poor inhibition,low verbalization skills, rapid escalation of anger,common subject of “anger management” referrals• Instrumental: more competent, very possessive,see others as needing them, and sees controllingsee others as needing them, and sees controllingbehavior as good and so no remorse. Consistentwith a borderline, bi-polar, or “closet” narcissist.• Antisocial: uses relationships to further otherinterests and does not develop such dependentattachments as the instrumental personality; justneeds to relieve the sense of being controlled.
  101. 101. 101Professional Victims• Less experienced; are more naïve and trusting– Blame themselves, finding it difficult to read people– Always puts the needs and feelings of others first– Often are high energy, hard working, and focused• Feel they have no control and few alternatives,• Feel they have no control and few alternatives,often embarrassed although ambivalent about it• Psycho-physiological reactions include fatigue,backaches, headaches, and inability to sleep• Displays weaknesses: being depressed, upset,and discussing it openly marks them by bullies• Bullies and victims have stereotypical relationshipviews plus overwhelming fear of powerlessness
  102. 102. 102Handling A Bully Or A Victim• Use a positive approach to get positive results– See rudeness / victim-ness as challenging not difficult– Do they need professional help or stress / overloaded?– See sales opportunity left by others just giving up early• Start neutral; be clear and direct; use light humor• No hedging like “Sorry, I feel awful about this”• Never “this is just how it is” or start extreme thenback off – as both force the person to save face• Be empathetic and never address anger directly• Use follow-ups for cooling down & getting off self
  103. 103. 103If You’re The Bully / Victim• Do you hear yourself saying, “I can always dobetter” or “I need to be in control of my feelings?”• Joke about being OCD? (Which is actually morelikely for a Social Phobic than OCD personality)likely for a Social Phobic than OCD personality)• Assertive Communication Training for withdrawnvictim; Empathy Training for disassociated bully• Social Skill and Sensitivity Reduction Training forhyper-vigilance “trust issues” common to both• Time Management (Daily Log) for avoidance• May need family intervention and couples therapy
  104. 104. 104Empathetic Better Than Active• Active Listening is not only about listening to thewords, intonation, and observing body languagebut also about asking key open-ended questions– Analytical, empty of two-way emotional involvement• Empathetic Listening is about more than gettingkey information in a non-judgmental way usinggood etiquette (often for a manipulative motive)• But, empathetic listening includes reactions withfeedback and checking emotional understanding– Honest in expressing disagreement (civilly) whilealso expressing genuine interest in the other’s opinion
  105. 105. 105But, Facilitative Is Best• Facilitative Listening goes beyond empathetic asit implies you are able to facilitate other person’sneed to communicate (building safe boundaries)– Being self-aware to exercise caution for the other(more than getting past the “words” to the meaning)(more than getting past the “words” to the meaning)– And so, more than achieving desired outcomes• This requires you have thought (and practiced)very carefully what you will ask and how you willrespond – including providing timely pauses – tofacilitate seeing and understanding all the options– Devoid of any selfish motives other than to help
  106. 106. 106Handling Everyone Else 23• Drivers like to dominate proceedings: you mustnot challenge this desire but be mildly submissiveby only offering suggestions (“Power” strategy)• Communicators are motivated most by new ideasand the opinions of others (“People” strategy)and the opinions of others (“People” strategy)• Planners dislike conflict and so need more time todecide as well as guarantees (“Promise” strategy)• Analysts focus on the details on implementationand maintenance tasks (“Proof” strategy)• Assertive: Power/People; Open: People/Promise;Passive: Promise/Proof; Controlling: Proof/Power< Which style above would best sell to you? >
  107. 107. 107Perhaps, Shock For Stubborn• Cop answers domestic violence call – they don’twant him there – he passes right by the couplein heated debate (they pay him little attention),reads a paper for a while, makes a mock phonecall during which he yells, “What do you meancall during which he yells, “What do you meanthis is tool late to call!” to first get their attention.– See George Thompson’s Verbal Judo (1993)24• Salesperson works all morning making hundredsof small icons to throw out of a bag as soon asshe enters a sales call and yells, “These are thecustomers you’ll gain by using my services!” Herassistant cleans up as she continues her pitch.
  108. 108. 108Distraction Therapy (continued)• William Booth would often talk to his umbrella likea madman in order to attract a crowd and was soconfrontational England’s Lord Shaftesbury evencalled him the Anti-Christ. But, he attracted overhalf of London’s Christians to his churches andhalf of London’s Christians to his churches andhis Salvation Army is now in over 100 countries!– Business guru Peter Drucker called the $2 billion a yearcharity unique among all charities and “By far the mosteffective organization in the United States. No one evencomes close to it in respect to clarity of mission, abilityto motivate, measurable results, dedication, and puttingmoney to maximum use.” (Forbes, August 11, 1997)
  109. 109. 109Verbal Judo 24• Best way for a cop to get hospitalized is by layingdown the law with lines like, “I’m not going to saythis again!” and “Why don’t you be reasonable?”– Parents, judges, etc often similarly kill all win-winopportunities; only really useful when not expectedopportunities; only really useful when not expected– The same is true of the ageless positional negotiatingminuet that starts with an extreme anchoring point andtends to lock participants into positions to save face• In the real world, egos and codependences oftenproduce settings that simply prevent mutual gains– Learn how to use words and phrases to lead, persuade,clarify, diffuse, and navigate nearly any situation; avoidego mistakes as well as learn communication profiling.
  110. 110. 110Pathology Review• Any person or organization that does not perceiveits own pathology will eventually self-destruct– Usually by refusing to see internal problems and thenprojecting troubles (and “solutions”) on external sources• People never say what they mean - Virginia Satir• People never say what they mean - Virginia Satir– E.g.: 80% of products popular in surveys never sell!• Mental health begins with consciousness– Serge refers to this higher-order as spiritual “Presence”– Determine if current solutions have been coerced• Focus on future and goals, not past or present– Start by defusing anger with agreement, say yes a lot– Suzette Elgin’s The Gentle Art of Verbal Self-Defense25
  111. 111. 111Exposure Behavior Theory• EBT assumes behavior is based on avoidance –avoiding things we fear: heights, failure, people• Accordingly, direct confrontation of the “monster”would be best way to overcome irrational fears• Goal is thusly to flood client with “monster” issues– Ask imposing, intrusive, uncomfortable questions,but only after reinforcing what they’re doing right• Allow your weaknesses be your strengths; whenApostle Paul prayed about his physical problems,God said, “Strength is revealed thru weakness”– “Avoidance is the cause of all anxiety; exposure is thecure for all anxiety” – the Tibetan Book of the Dead
  112. 112. 112Hidden Emotion Theory• HET assumes anxious behavior is based on onebeing too accommodating by avoiding feelings• Goal is therefore to expose the hidden feelings,address and resolve the underlying problemsaddress and resolve the underlying problems– “How would you feel?” “How might others feel?”• Problem not in past; it’s right now, but hidden– Must understand client’s emotional point of view• Being ready with ways to minimize their fears– “Stop letting other people cheat you out of the incomeyou deserve” “Your life may depend on this information”
  113. 113. 113Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy• CBT assumes behavior is based on our thoughts;not any objective reality of people or situations– How you think is how you feel so think better– First, thinking must be “monitored” to be altered– Requires one be verbal, independent, and reflective• Active Socratic confrontation by asking questions,“How do you know this to be true?” to rationallychallenge their self-destructive unauthentic ideas– We all think we must be perfect and loved by everyone– Trust is first required to help build critical thinking skills– The secret is Think Stopping: “No, wait. Slow down.”
  114. 114. 114Ellis’ ABC’s of Irrational Beliefs 26• A: Activating event triggering negative thinking• B: Belief triggered (or transferred) by this event• C: Consequence of ensuing dysfunctional feelings• D: Dispute feelings: question other possibilities• D: Dispute feelings: question other possibilities• E: Effect of dispute: new emotional consequence• Goal is to challenge & reframe ABC progression– No need to understand any personal childhood issues;focus on adult strengths for self-soothing self-validation– ABC plan focuses on conflicting beliefs to produce newfeelings and reengineer personal goals (to improve thebehavior and not the psyche) from rationality & control
  115. 115. 115Sport’s Self-Talk• All about gaining control to make solution-mindedpositive goal statements you want to come true,such as “How am I going to make this happen?”– See yourself doing / saying what you what to do / say• Your mind set should not be about whether you’llmake a mistake but how fast you can recover.Take one thing at a time, living in the moment.• Practice feeling in your “New Brain” and removingextra thoughts, like anxiety, from your “Old Brain”– Don’t try to control everything practice just doing it!• This has NOTHING to do with “The Secret!”
  116. 116. 116Not Necessarily Introspection• Behaviorists showed long ago that self-reflectionwas unreliable, providing only subjective gains– We’re all thieving liars - the MMPI personality test usesas proof youre a liar if you refuse to admit you’re a thief• Hence, the need for extrospection or external• Hence, the need for extrospection or externalobservations (preacher, teacher, a salesperson)– But, the external observer can still engage someone in“thinking aloud” to better understand their perspective• Discriminate and debate unrealistic demands fromignored rational solutions, “Where is it written?”– Creating transforming ideas for benefits of your product
  117. 117. 117The Satir Process 27• Making contact: slow down and pay attention toyour breath, thoughts, as well as those of others• Validating: value your resources, and of others• Becoming Aware: of your inner process and• Becoming Aware: of your inner process andbehavior, as well as conscious of those of others• Opening: gain insight of people’s differences andacceptance of resulting strengths & contradictions• Conscious Choosing: helping yourself and others• Seeking / Giving Support: proactively seek andgive support when needed, “How can I help?”
  118. 118. 118The Five Verbal Profiles(And, what they say in a stuck elevator)• Computer: “There is undoubtedly some perfectlysimple reason why this elevator is not moving.Certainly, there is no cause whatever for alarm.”• Placater: “Oh, I hope I didn’t cause this.”• Blamer: “Which one of you idiots did this?!?”• Blamer: “Which one of you idiots did this?!?”• Distracter: “Did one of you hit the Stop Button?Oh, I didn’t mean that; of course none of youwould do anything like that! Why do things likethis happen to me? There must be a reason.”• Leveler or Phony: “Personally, I’m scared.”< Which sounds like what you might say? >See Virginia Satir’s Peoplemaking (Science and Behavior Books, 1972)28
  119. 119. 119The Five Non-Verbal Profiles• Computer: “Stiff, rigid, moving little as possible”• Placater: “Cling and fidget and lean on others”• Blamer: “Shake their fists or index fingers; theyscowl and frown and loom over people”• Distracter: “Again cycle though the other modeswith their bodies just as they do with their heads”• Leveler or Phony: “Distinguished by the absenceof rigidity, fidgeting and leaning, & shaking hands;words and actions in harmony with true feelingscan sometimes be mistaken for flaming blamer”< Which looks like what you might do? >
  120. 120. 120The Underlying Fears• “Computer” (Earth force): afraid of own feelings• “Placater” (Water force): afraid that people willbecome angry and never come back again• “Blamer” (Fire force): afraid there is no real love• “Distracter” (Wind force): in full-time chaotic panic• “Leveler” (Emptiness force) displays genuinefeelings and is, of course, the easiest to handle• The hardest to spot, sadly often found in sales, isthe “Phony Leveler” (Evil force): fear losing controland disappearing (needing to control to feel real)< Which primary force or fear drives you? >
  121. 121. 121Comparing Profile TheoriesAncient Dr. Satir M. Gladwell DISCEarth Computer Maven/Teacher ConscientiousWater Placater [Technical] SteadinessFire Blamer Salesperson DominanceWind Distracter Social Connector InfluenceWind Distracter Social Connector Influence• Malcolm Gladwell’s “The Tipping Point” seems torefer to the Computer, Blamer, and Distracter, asthe Maven (or Teacher), Salesperson (persuader)and Social Connector (who likes casual meetings)• “Technical” profile is not an effective change agent• DISC provides corresponding VALUE profiles
  122. 122. 122Lack of Self Differentiation• Both Bullies (Fire) and Victims (Water) dependon external approval; Bullies push, Victims pull• Rebels only fake “Self” by opposing all positions– Either extravert (Wind) or seeming extrovert (Earth)– Either extravert (Wind) or seeming extrovert (Earth)• All threatened by debate: one adjusts just tooquickly, one overly demanding, one builds walls• But, such emotional responses to conflict is farbetter than no emotions at all (the sociopath)• No getting better, only aware & less at mercy tomomentary feelings (“sin free while still sinning”)
  123. 123. 123Typical Conflict Resolutions• Power Balance: balancing control challenges,often by excessive attention to each other’s faults• Bullying: one successfully forces (with facts andchaos by Rebel or guilt by Bully/Victim) the wayall others think and act (with group’s permission)all others think and act (with group’s permission)• Victiming: group agreement to project anxietiesonto but one member who then takes the “fall”• Emotional Distancing: group agrees to back offto reduce conflict intensity – new relationshipsoften overly important (rebounds) with increasedblame for others (Fire/Wind) or self (Earth/Water)
  124. 124. 124Group Theory Metrics• Boundaries: rigid/unclear roles or easy to speak• Power: but one dominator - or - team like equality• Freedom of expression: feelings hidden or open• Warmth: fun at someone’s expense or good times• Warmth: fun at someone’s expense or good times• Negotiation skills: forced compliance or unit amity• Moving from dysfunctional to healthy requireseveryone’s input to identify cultural influences,problems, goals, as well as potential solutions –we all know about danger of a “2-legged stool”• Will group (and each member) help or hinder?
  125. 125. 125Group Theory (continued)• While stereotyping bad, people do tend to behavein ways consistent with their group memberships• Habits passed on (cultural) so individual, family, &business problems are always generations deepbusiness problems are always generations deep– So, you must involve not just all the current members,but memories of founders and group heroes as well• When we hear words like Banker, Preacher, orLumberjack, we have common images strongerthan all the facts, guilt, and chaos in the world– So, you must either involve all their prejudices as wellor just face the simple fact that no sale is possible
  126. 126. 126Don’t Deal With What They Say• Important to understand power presuppositions(suggestions of power in a given linguistic stimuli)– E.g.: Even you should be able to understand this!• Power is commonly called a net zero sum product– This means either you have it or someone else has it– Must be on higher ground for the ethical use of power• Concede minor points to focus on important ones• Start as “Computer” and identify negotiation style– Compromise, helping, collaborate, avoid, or compete• Use bridging, clarifying, and strategy questions– To demonstrate concern and clarify other’s objectives
  127. 127. 127Review of Resolution Process• People don’t give up as invested in being right– Probe for vested assumptions, goals, and processes• Talk fast – but, slow down thinking & responses• Understand types of people and behavior styles• Understand types of people and behavior styles• Conflict resolution is a process and not an end• Learn to make peace with the impossible person– Practice saving face and being a grace dispenser• Use your own profile to develop an action planfor your own emotional and spiritual growth• Finally, learn to avoid being the difficult person
  128. 128. 128Neuroeconomics• Draws on neuroscience, economics, businessresearch, and psychology to confirm emotions(e.g.: hope and fear) form most economic choices– Simple pleasure of product vs. pain of losing cash (canexplain why consumers spend more with credit cards)explain why consumers spend more with credit cards)– New brain thinks, Middle brain feels, Old brain decides– Selling Probability = Pain x Claim x Gain x Old Brain– Consumers often can’t articulate what they want andproperly helping them requires finding higher ground• Unconscious “priming” of brand loyalty (“love”)and assimilation requires a repeated message
  129. 129. 129What Is The “Old Brain?” 29• Old Brain limits decisions and what Middle Brainsensory information will make it to the New Brain– Self-centered: center of “ME” for survival and well-being– Needs contrast: comparisons allow for quick decisions– And, concrete: appreciates simple, easy to grasp ideas– Short term: remembers only first and last Impressions– Visual: sight is processed 25 times faster than hearing– Emotional: key to memory success (and transferences)• Renvoise says diagnose the pain, differentiate theclaim, demonstrate the gain, deliver to Old Brain– Don’t say, “We are leaders...” But, “We are the only...”
  130. 130. 130Determining The Old Brain Pain• Open questions, summarize, give them the “pen”– Or, 10-20 in-depth interviews to find team motivations• What is the number one pressing problem?– Marketing is defined as positioning a bike, bus, or caras best solution to living a mile from work – BUT, it’sas best solution to living a mile from work – BUT, it’sfirst promoting living a mile from work to problem status– Selling too early may miss bigger problem and sale• Explore for what is the source, intensity (time andmoney spent on solution), and timing of the pain?– Loss of money, business control, personal energy– Take data from Competitive & Leadership Assessments• Then, raise the unconscious to the conscious
  131. 131. 131Raising The Unconscious• Conscious thinking makes only 5% of decisions– Harvard psychologist Daniel Wegner states,” Theillusion of will is so compelling that it can prompt thebelief that acts were intended when they could not be.”– Many more units are sold at $9.99 than at $10.00– Many more units are sold at $9.99 than at $10.00– Metaphors: Koala for warm and Polar Bear for cold• Understanding our metaphors and myths canhelp access what we really think and feel inside– Response latency, voice stress, and particular wordpairings can also indicate “demons” in responses• A backdrop of diverse experiences as well as arestlessness for quality can help raise the “dead”
  132. 132. 132Only Reason Sales Fail: Respect(After being unqualified: no use, budget, or sign off)1. You don’t respect the buyer or experiences– Is your solution for a problem they don’t even have?– Are you ignoring prospect’s preferred buying patterns?2. You don’t respect yourself or your profession– Be a life long student and learn how to say “No!”3. You don’t respect your products and/or services– Know your strengths & markets or, find another lineRespect comes from deep passions and strongconvictions – remember the effort you’ve made,commit to a fair price, and then brag, brag, brag
  133. 133. 133Relationships Come First• Traditional Sales Approach is to– Smile and dial, great opening, wow w/ great numbers,let the buyer think he is calling the shots and your onlyclient, and ask for referrals after a successful project• First, however, work to get out of your own way• First, however, work to get out of your own way– Ask uninformed questions forgetting your product– Brainstorm to see all solutions, looking to “free” internalresources first to help them solve their own problems– Avoid the comfortable, seeking the emotional & difficult• As they want the story teller to be entertaining and persuasive– Get in touch with your values and how they define you,as we too often use only our heads and not our hearts
  134. 134. 134Selling First To The “Heart”• Logic automatically and unconsciously comes inonly afterwards to justify decisions already made– Buyer states current vendor is deadline dysfunctional– Traditional sales advice is, “I understand. I have three– Traditional sales advice is, “I understand. I have threesurveys that rank us first in on-time performance.”– Better to talk from and to the heart, “Missed deadlines?That must have been very frustrating... I appreciate youbeing so honest with me. I could tell you we’re the mostreliable – and we are. I can’t promise we’ll never makea mistake, but here’s how to contact me 24 / 7 ”• More risk = more emotion = less facts & numbers
  135. 135. 135Selling Is Not Informing!• Galileo proved to his students at the Universityof Pisa that Aristotle was wrong to say heavieritems of similar size would fall faster, BUT theUniversity continued teaching Aristotle’s reality>> He had taught but not persuaded <<• Selling (as any changed behavior) doesn’t useteaching, debating, or even presenting skills– Intensity no substitute for long-haul value of integrity– So, Socrates (as did Christ) used questions to lead• Presentations & teaching come only after selling– If only Escalante, Coase, and van Gough knew sales!
  136. 136. 136van Gough, Coase, Escalante• Vincent van Gough sold only one picture in hislife out of over 2,000 works (The Red Vineyard)• Ronald Coase was awarded the Nobel prize forEconomics in 1991 for a paper he wrote in 1937Economics in 1991 for a paper he wrote in 1937• Jamie Escalante sent more East LA HS studentsto college (& AP Calculus exam) than HollywoodHS, but after “Stand and Deliver” fame, he wasreassigned to asbestos removal and kicked out– Alas, John Perex, VP of Teachers Union, explainedafterwards, “Jaime didn’t get along with some of theteachers at his school; he pretty much was a loner.”
  137. 137. 137Persuasion Is Not Reason• The compliance or motivation by words, tone, etc.– Aristotle detailed 4 kinds of appeals: Ethical, Personal,Practical, and Rational (with the last being the weakest)• Best augment combines ethical and personal– Ethical: rooted in how people see you, your consistency– Personal: knowing their selfish best interests; “if they’vesomething to gain or lose, you’ve got something to use”• Practical appeal best sold with offbeat humor– Broken rhythm in not doing what is expected in order tosurprise and soften – also key to using all four appeals• Don’t rely on logic; lead them with open questions
  138. 138. 138Broken Rhythm• Bruce Lee30, perhaps the most accomplishedmartial artist, strongly believed “broken rhythm”was essential in overcoming others; dependenceon routine and predictability (like practiced salesscripts), he said, produced a “classical mess”scripts), he said, produced a “classical mess”– Change target, technique, stance, pace, attitude, etc– Sales is about helping people decipher their values• Don’t sound like your reading a script; be moredeliberate, practice different routines w/ surprises• Consider other perspectives, selling to differentaudiences (say, teenagers) while staying focused
  139. 139. 139The Most Persuasive Words• Save• Safety• Sex• Love• You• Money• Commit• New• However, thenumber oneword peoplemost like to• Love• Proven• Discovery• Guarantee• Why/Because• New• Free• Results• Easy• Healthmost like tohear overand over isTheir name!
  140. 140. 140Persuasion Overview• More small talk needed for active extroverts thanpassive introverts (w/ more of a task orientation)• Develop a rapport based on a common ground– Look for clues from what’s hanging on their walls– Move to economy or light politics in social environment– Move to economy or light politics in social environment(or light personal topics when filling awkward silences)• Plan Ahead: your bottom line, their substitute,everyone’s interests, and all possible outcomes– Let your secret Plan-B help shape your Plan-A strategy• Persistence & patience for actions of commitment– Know best possible & minimum you are willing to walkaway with: “Will you if you can’t do that, can you ”
  141. 141. 141Goal Is Always A Commitment• THE goal is a commitment based on a respect foryour opinion and trust for your recommendations– Relationships only end from low commitment level (it isnever due to communications, compatibility, or effort)• Most people are twice as likely to agree to even• Most people are twice as likely to agree to evenoutlandish requests after agreeing to a small one– Group commitments also increase individual actions• Compliments based on smaller actions increaseschances of making larger actions & commitments– Help people to positively see themselves as a buyer– Marketing is only about creating qualified sales leads!
  142. 142. 142Becoming A Change Agent(when products require new processes)• After assessing vision support, convey credibleexpectations with empathy and involvement forthe pain and work a proposed change may bring– Persuasion is the fruit of efforts towards understanding• Kurt Lewin asserted change requires unfreezing• Kurt Lewin asserted change requires unfreezingthe status quo, changing to a new state, and thenrefreezing the new change to make it permanent– Present deficiencies to arouse dissatisfaction to crisis– Get top support to tie rewards to use of new products– Establish new beliefs, target goals, stop rumours– Provide training & celebrate “death” of old systemUnfreezing Movement Refreezing
  143. 143. 143The Status Quo Learning CurveProductivityUnfreeze PhaseUnfreeze Phase Change PhaseChange Phase Refreeze PhaseRefreeze PhaseEither decreaserestrainingforces And, then expecttemporary declineRestrainingForces“Today’s illiterate are not those who cannot read or write, butthose who cannot learn, unlearn, and relearn.” -- Alvin TofflerTimeProductivityOr, increasedriving forcestemporary declinein performancebefore formalizingchanges forimprovementDrivingForces
  144. 144. 144Vectors of Development144© 2005
  145. 145. 145• Culture – underlying values and goals• Structure – authority relations, coordinationmechanisms, communications, and job design• Technology – processes, methods, tools, etcWhat Can Be Changed?• Technology – processes, methods, tools, etc• Physical Setting – workplace space and layout• People – skills, expectations, and behaviors• How can such changes help sell the product?TechnologyPhysicalSettingPeopleStructureCulture
  146. 146. 146Organizational Kinetics(innovative products require a crisis)• Organizations tend to move in straight lines untilimpacted by collisions with other social groups– Inertia is the tendency to maintain the status quo– Best motivator is thusly competent competition (crisis)• Inert Organizations rarely adopt innovations, arefocused on survival, and fail to constantly test• Dynamic Organizations are fast, active, learning,proactive, and agile enough to “create change”• Peter Drucker said, “The best way to deal withthe future is to create it. By the time you catchup to change, the competition is ahead of you.”
  147. 147. 147Six Crisis Forces For Change• Workforce is more culturally diverse and manyemployees are lacking in the most basic skills• Technology is replacing narrow, routine taskswith those requiring team, multi-tasking efforts• Economic Shocks such as Asian real estate• Economic Shocks such as Asian real estatecollapse and Russian devaluation of the ruble• Competition is more global, involves moremergers, and includes more Internet commerce• Social Trends include delaying marriage, anti-smoking attitudes, and the popularity of SUVs• World Politics such as U.S. embargo of Lybia,Soviet collapse, and Black rule in South Africa
  148. 148. 148#4: Enemy Mine• Effective interaction begins by looking inward– At the well-being of your company as well as yourself– “Whoever has a why to live for can overcome any how”• Integrity is good, but where does a firm begin?– Learn BSC, AIE, SWOT, CSF, Mission, Values, Vision<Home>– Learn BSC, AIE, SWOT, CSF, Mission, Values, Vision• Personal makeover by embracing incompleteness– Senge: “[Quality] starts with turning the mirror inward”– Lewin: “You cannot understand unless you change it”• Finding the higher ground (for trust & openness)– With faith, urgency, better relationships (and sleep!)• Social Proofing: as the last step of marketing issales so, the last step of sales is marketing
  149. 149. 149INTEGRITYTo be “true” to oneself, oneneeds admirable goals,a clear understanding of wherea clear understanding of whereone will and can stand,a process of honest review,and a day-to-day plan for howto get things done and paid for.
  150. 150. 150In business, these conceptsare formalized in
  151. 151. 151Mission StatementAn unidentified soldier in WWIIAn unidentified soldier in WWIIthat could not state his missionwas automatically shot.
  152. 152. 152SWOT AnalysisStrengths, Weaknesses,Opportunities, and Threats.
  153. 153. 153Marketing PlanThat is updated quarterly.
  154. 154. 154Implementation PlanWith good time and resourceperformance metrics.
  155. 155. 155Financial PlanIncluding aWorking Capital Policy.
  156. 156. 156These five concepts, however,can carry a real punchonly when they are based on astrong and legitimate
  157. 157. 157Vision“Great minds have purposes,others have wishes.”others have wishes.”Washington Irving“Where there is no vision,the people perish.” Proverbs 24:18
  158. 158. 158Sounds Good, But How to Start?• Looking inward for business planning starts bywork on Balanced Scorecards (BSC), SWOTanalysis, Critical Success Factors (CSF), andshared Vision, Mission, and Values Statements– 2/3 of firms utilize some sort of Balanced Scorecards– 2/3 of firms utilize some sort of Balanced Scorecards• Glossary: “The measures appearing on the Scorecard shouldlink together in a series of cause and effect relationships.”– SWOT: leverage strengths and market opportunitiesand minimize weaknesses and competitive threats– CRM of key relationship marketing success factors• Vision states what the company intends to be(basis of culture), mission states strategic goalsto fulfill vision, values define action boundaries
  159. 159. 159Balanced Scorecards (BSC) 31An organizationaltool to translate amission strategy intoobjectives andmeasures organizedby four perspectives:by four perspectives:Customer (delivery,cust. sat., retention),Financial (cash flow,ROI), Processes (no.of projects, successrate, defects), andGrowth (promotions,illness, turnovers)Customer, Financial, BusinessProcesses, Learning & GrowthFrom
  160. 160. 1601.The economic model ofkey levers drivingfinancial performance2.The value proposition oftarget customersBased on an Understanding of theBasic Building Blocks of Strategy 32target customers3.The value chain of corebusiness processes4.The top critical enablersof performanceimprovement as well aschange and learningFrom