Active Progress Project

1. LEARNING TO DEVELOP
OUR SOCIAL SKILLS

2. The ongoing physical, mental, emotional, and social changes make young people lose confidence
in their own skills.
Youth is a life stage where it becomes necessary to help young people strengthen their abilities so
that they can take control over their life and tackle the difficulties they face with self-confidence.
In this context, it is key to work and boost the development of skills such as listening, verbal and
non-verbal expression and communication in general as a tool to enhance their ability to define
problems, to opt in for the best solutions and to put them into practice.
Through this workshop, which has been developed under the Active Progress Project, we seek to
generate a curiosity and interest in young people to get to know themselves better in the way they
communicate, make decisions, etc.
We would like those young people to know themselves better and to become aware of the fact
that the greater the self-awareness the broader the range of options and possibilities that opens
up for them.

3. SOCIAL SKILLS
What is it about?
Social skills are the behaviours that we show when
we relate to others, while expressing our feelings,
attitudes, opinions, and rights.
These skills help us relate to other people and the
environment around us.
They are closely linked to the way we think and feel.
They are the appropriate behaviours to achieve a
particular goal in a given situation.

4. But…………what are they for?
Working our social skills will give us What happens if we lack
confidence and facilitate our social skills?
relationship with others. -We will be limited in our
communication with other people
Social skills will enable us to start -We will have difficulty in
and sustain a conversation and will performing basic activities by
prove highly useful in tackling ourselves
conflicts effectively and confidently. -We will not be able to express our
feelings
In summary, social skills will help us -And… we may enter into conflict
achieve greater success in personal with friends/family as we are
relationships while always unable to resolve some situations.
defending the rights of the others.

5. What social skills do I need?
Different situations require the use of specific skills. The specificities and the degree of difficulty of each situation
should be taken into account.
Social skills can be divided in several groups, such as basic and complex. Basic skills are essential to gain and learn
further complex and advanced skills.
D. Negotiation-
A. Basic social skills oriented social skills
C. Feelings-related 1.- Asking for
1.- Listening E. Planning-oriented
B. Advanced social social skills permission
2.- Starting a
2.- Sharing social skills
conversation skills 1.- Being aware of your
3.- Extending help to 1.- Taking initiatives
3.- Sustaining a 1.- Asking for help own feelings
others 2.- Discerning the
conversation 2.- Participating 2.- Expressing your
4.- Negotiating causes of a problem
4.- Asking a question 3.- Giving instructions feelings
5.- Using self-control 3.- Setting an objective
5.- Thanking 4.- Following 3.- Understanding other
6.- Defending your 4.- Gathering
6.- Introducing one self instructions people’s feelings
personal rights information
7.- Introducing one self 5.- Apologizing 4.- Confronting the
7.- Responding to 5.- Resolving problems
to other people 6.- Convincing the other person’s anger
practical jokes based on their level of
8.- Making a others 5.- Expressing affection
8.- Avoiding problems importance
compliment 6.-Resolving fear
with people 6.- Making a decision
7.- Self-rewarding
9.- Not engaging into
fights

6. What are we going to learn?
Now, we will work three basic skills that will help us handle some aspects in our life and environment
appropriately:
ASSERTIVENESS
DECISION-MAKING
Communication:
A. Empathic
B. Active
COMMUNICATION Group
communication
skills

7. Assertiveness
ASSERTIVENESS is a social skill that entails self-assurance,
in a manner that considers and respects the rights and
opinions of others while also standing up for your own
rights. It is about having the ability to communicate our
beliefs, feeling and thoughts clearly, openly and directly.
Assertiveness is self-confidence
Assertiveness, same as any other other skills, is an attitude
that can be learned. We are not born assertive, but we are
born with the capacity to learn how to be assertive.
What do we need to be assertive?

8. What do I need to be assertive?
Self-awareness,
brings us closer
Social awareness, to understanding
Self-esteem,
enables us to know our limitations.
characterized by a
that we are not It is about
positive image of
alone. We live in becoming aware of
the self, and
society, we have our true needs and
respect and love
duties but we also being realistic in
for oneself.
have rights. the objectives
that we set for
ourselves.

9. Exercise. Learning to be assertive
Exercise 1
Write down in your exercise book:
5 things that you approve of your appearance. We all have nice things. It can be your hair, eyes, ears, hands,
feet, height, smile…
If you cannot find them by yourself, as a friend or a relative.
5 things that you like of the way you are.
It may be your friendliness, listening skills, discretion, generosity, goodness, kindness, perseverance… if nothing
comes to mind, think about the things that you like in others and consider to what extent you share those
virtues. You are expected to elaborate this list by using the same scale that you would you to assess this traits in
a loved one. It is not a problem if at the beginning, you don’t believe this 100%
Go through the list and think that, if you were to meet a person with those traits, you will be definitively pleased
to meet that person.
Exercise 2
At the end of the day and at least for thirty days in a row, finish the following statements:
“Today, I felt good with myself because...”
“Today, I dis something good for me when ...”
“I like myself more when ...”
“I am starting to realize that I have the virtue to ...”
“Even though I make a mistake, I realize that...”

10. DECISION-MAKING
We all make decisions all the time, which enables us to control our life but also forces us to be responsible for our
actions.
Sometimes, making decisions is not easy. We have doubts about the best choice and this may make us feel anxious. At a
given point in time, making a wrong decision can distance us from the intended objective.
And you…how do you make your own decisions?
- I let myself get carried away. I let the other make decisions for me
- I delay my decision making as much as possible
- I am an impulsive person. I do whatever passes my mind
- I feel that nothing is in my hands: fate or destiny will decide for me
- I consider the pros and cons of the various options that I face
- I like to have information to make a decision. I search information
- I listened to others’ advice. It is always good to listen to other people and to increase my options
- I make decisions without consulting anyone. I am always clear about my choice.
- I try to take into account the feelings and the situation of the people who may be impacted by my decision
- I always reflect first on what I want and how I feel.

11. First of all, considering all the
What we need to make a decision options as well as the following
aspects:
Our feelings (making decisions is
not only a rational process but it
also involves feelings and
IT MUST BE REMEMBERED that every emotions)
decision has consequences.
The principles and values that
Making a choice always means you believe in (all decisions must
be consistent with our personal
giving up other
values)
possibilities
Information on the topic (before
making a decision, find
information about every option)
Reflecting…….and communicating
in an up-front and clear style.

12. 2.Delegate our
responsibility to make
decisions to the
other/letting the others
We must not: make decisions for
ourselves
1.Avoid and delay
the decision until
the last moment
3.Let fate or destiny
decide for us
5. Do the first thing that
comes to mind, without
taking into account the
possible consequences 4. Let fear overwhelm us
or make decisions driven
by fear of rejection or
fear of disapproval

13. Exercises. How do you make your own decisions?
Exercise 1
A) Please, write down on a piece of paper some ideas about the way people make decisions:
1.- let others making decisions for them
2.- consider all the possible options
3.- impulse-driven...
B) Now, we would like you to reflect upon the possible risks, advantages, disadvantages and consequences of each of the
following :
What is the best way to do it?
Model Risk Advantages Disadvantages Consequences
Others make
decisions for us
Assessing the
options
Impulse-driven
Asking for help
Fate or destiny
…
…
…

14. Communication:
A. Empathic
B. Active
Communication
Group
communication
skills

15. Empathic communication means having the skills to actively listen
Communication:
A. Empathic to our interlocutor, being able to put ourselves into someone else's
B. Active shoes, as well as a capacity to effectively communicate our needs,
feelings and wishes … through verbal and non-verbal or body
language.

16. Listening carefully to
what the others have to
say, trying to understand
what they mean.
Putting ourselves
into the place of Achieving Voicing our
others, listening thoughts and
empathic
without making feelings
judgments
communication
Showing to the
other/others that we are
listening and following
along (nodding , smiling,
agreeing, showing
gladness or sadness, etc.).

17. Active listening requires us to clearly show that we are paying attention to our interlocutor.
Active listening signals set the pace of the conversation: we know when to take turns, whether what we
are saying is of interest or not, when we want to encourage the other person to continue speaking ….
Elements involved in active
Verbal elements help send the message that we’re listening
listening attentively that we encourage our interlocutor to
continue talking:
-Approval or disapproval sounds : “Ahhh, Ummm…”,etc.
-Affirmative answers: “Absolutely”, “sure”, “I follow you”…
-Summarizing: “that is to say…” “as you mentioned
Non-verbal elements:
before...”
- Direct stance pointing at the
-Asking some brief questions to clarify some aspects.
interlocutor
-Empathy: “I can image how you feel”, “I understand
-Attentive facial expression
you”…
-Gestures and movements: nod,
-Making a reference to some of the interlocutor’s
smile, touch …
mentions (repeating his/her name, or the feelings or ideas
-Mirroring the facial expression
articulated by him/her).
of the person who speaks.

18. IMPORTANT  Don’t carry out any other activity while the
other person is speaking
 Wait until your interlocutor finish to say what
he/she has to say.
 Focus on what the other person is telling you.
 Don’t make snap judgments: “that is not
important”, “that’s nonsense”…

19. We must learn how to introduce ourselves in a group,
Group
joining the group conversation or starting a new
communication
skills conversation by ourselves.
Elements involved in group
Verbal elements communication
- Greeting the group members
- Saying our name (if we don’t know the
people in the group).
- Asking other people’s names
- If you know the members in the group, in
order to start a conversation show interest in
others by asking them how they are: “how Non-verbal elements
was your day …? Well, mine was …” - Making eye contact with everyone
-Asking open as well as specific questions : - Smiling
You may make observations on the topic - Modulating the volume and the tone
being discussed after listening about it, you of your voice so that everyone can hear
may share your opinion, your personal what you say
experience or an anecdote. - Approaching and joining the group,
-Avoid conversations in pairs, as they break avoid being peripheral to it.
up the group.

20. IMPORTANT  Don’t speak before the others have finish
speaking
 Don’t focus on what you’re going to say so that
you don’t listen to the others talking
 Avoid conversation in pairs and engage in
group conversation
 Don’t change the topic of the conversation
abruptly
Remember that to start and keep up a group conversation you are not expected
to say anything wonderful or interesting
What matters the most is to have a respectful attitude
towards the others

21. Exercise. COMMUNICATION
Exercise 1. Are you really listening to me?
Now it is time to put into practice the lessons learned in the communication section. We say that a person does
active listening when s/he is able to listen attentively, to show understanding and to generate empathy (that is
to say to see and feel the situation from the other person’s perspective).
It may seem easy, as many other things do, but it is not an easy thing to do. The best to learn is to put it into
practice repeatedly. Invite a friend to join you this exercise.
A) One of you will tell a story that is relative relevant for you and the other will listen; at some stage during the
narration, the listener will...
… challenge everything that is being said
… give advice without having the speaker asking for it
... say “we’ll discuss that later on”
... try to tell a better story
... engage in conversation with a third person whilst the speaker is telling his/her story
... not give any feedback
... be too funny and will mention nonsense after nonsense
... cut the speaker short and change topics
… reproach the speaker
…look the other way instead of making eye contact with the speaker
…answer back with a “why”….” to anything said to him/her
…laugh for no apparent reason
…feel offended and upset for everything that the other person says to him/her
…finally make the speaker to keep quiet

22. B) One of you will tell the other person a problem that you want to resolve. The other person will listen and...
…ask for clarifying questions
…tell the speaker that s/he knows how s/he is feeling
...congratulate the speaker
...make eye contact and nod his/her head
...appreciate the positive things that the speaker is saying
What is the most positive attitude? In what situation do our listening and communication skills show? It is up
for us to decide.

23. Thank you very much