2. God has a plan …
Marriage and Family
Builds Godly People
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5. Genesis 1:26-27
• God said, "Let us make man in our image, in
our likeness, and let them rule over the fish of
the sea and the birds of the air, over the
livestock, over all the earth, and over all the
creatures that move along the ground."
• 27 So God created man in His own image, in
the image of God He created him; male and
female he created them.
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10. Genesis 2:23-25
• 23 The man said, "This is now bone of my
bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be
called 'woman, for she was taken out of
man." 24 For this reason a man will leave his
father and mother and be united to his wife,
and they will become one flesh.
• 25 The man and his wife were both naked,
and they felt no shame.
Male and Female He created them. The image of God is expressed in the complement of male and female.
God designed people to live in relationship – first with Him, but also with each other. “It is not good for the man to be alone …” (Genesis 2:18) In Genesis 2 we see an account of the woman being created. When Adam sees Eve he says, “This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh …” (2:23) - Strength and tenderness for me. Different/other, yet like me.
God designed people to live in relationship – first with Him, but also with each other. “It is not good for the man to be alone …” (Genesis 2:18) In Genesis 3 we see an account of the woman being created. When Adam sees Eve he says, “This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh …” (2:23) - Strength and tenderness for me. Different/other, yet like me.
“For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh.” (Genesis 2:24)
In this first depiction of marriage, we see a profound oneness expressed that exhibits the community and “oneness” of the triune God. “Hear O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one. Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength.” (Deut. 6:4-5) God is one in essence though three persons. Within the godhead we see – other and oneness. In marriage we see “other and oneness” – it is an expression of the oneness of God. This is not just about sex – it is about relationship and giving of self to build and care for the other.
Marriage is not a matter of filling each other’s gaping holes or “completing” each other. This is a common cultural understanding, and a natural – though misguided – longing.
We are completed in our relationship with God. He is our Creator, Healer, Sustainer, Hope, Purpose and Direction. In our relationship with Him, we develop our primary understanding of ourselves and our identity. We learn who we are, and we develop self-control, or self-government – the ability to say “Yes” and “No” with purpose.
It is out of this context of self-government that we are able to consider marriage – to lay down our lives for each other – to build up our spouse, not to take from them. This is a matter of love, not lust; giving, not taking.
This is really an impossible task/journey. The call of marriage is to lay down our lives for each other and submit to each other … out of reverence for Christ (Ephesians 5:21) It is only possible in Christ. He is our example and the power to do this. Jesus is the Good Shepherd who lays down His life for His sheep (John 10), and He gives us the ability to lay down our lives for our spouse.
The call of marriage is to lay down our lives for each other and submit to each other … out of reverence for Christ (Ephesians 5:21)
This is a picture of the marriage covenant. It is a complete giving of oneself to the one we love – a laying down of our lives for the service and benefit of the other – to build them and prosper them – no matter what. There is a mutuality, as safety and security that comes with this covenant commitment. God’s design is that we are to listen to each other as virtual mouthpieces of God.
It is in this covenantal, loving, serving, listening and supporting context that God wants children to be raised. In Malachi 2:15 the oneness of marriage is described with a purpose. God is seeking for us to raise godly offspring. He created people to be in relationship with Him. He has designed people to hear His voice and submit to His direction. He has designed marriage to be a picture of the image of God – “Other and Oneness.” And He has called parents – fathers in particular – to raise children in the instruction of the Lord.
This kind of marriage commitment and environment around the person of Christ and the truth of His word serves as a kind of protective umbrella from the fallen and demonic storms of life.
All of this is Gods’ intended foundation for the development of children. Now, not everyone – as a matter of fact quite few seem to grow up in this environment. But this is the design. God’s grace meets us all where we are, and He can lead us through all kinds of dysfunction and hardship. Yet, we want to understand the design and intent.
In the design of the family both the male and female identity are spoken and imparted to each child. The image of God – seen in both male and female – is expressed to the child, and his/her identity is formed through the healthy impartation of both genders. This equips them to be able to live with and relate to both genders well – it gives them a good understanding of both masculine and feminine life characteristics. As God is represented in both male and female.
The purpose of design is that the child may learn who they are – and to develop a healthy measure of self control and self government – out of reverence for Christ.
The goal is for the child to grow up and develop into a healthy, rounded, responsible adult.
Everyone generally is to step outside the umbrella of God’s protection within the family – to step out from under the direct covering of their father and mother – This is important … hugely import step towards maturity.
And, it is very important that the young adult have a healthy and developing relationship with the Lord. God is the “Ancient of Days” and He created the ancient paths of how life works before He laid the foundations of the world. If you want to learn and know how to live – you will do best to live in Him and according to His truth and ways.
It is out of our relationship with God that our healthiest form of self-government develops. This is how we become the men and women of God that He has intended.
This brings us to the beginning of our discussion. God created men and women to be whole in relationship with Himself – to develop a sense of identity and self-government in Him.
And God wants men and women to relate well to each other – in a complementary capacity – whether married or not. Along the way, they may want to consider marriage. Remember, the design is that a whole man and a whole woman consider whether God is calling them to marriage. It is not all about sex, but it includes sex. It is about complement, service and building. It is about “otherness and oneness.” It is about the image of God – His covenant love and His demonstration of love on the earth – particularly to the children in the household.
So, marriage involves all of this – none of it can really be left out – you need to use all the pieces in the box. The children are dependent upon it – the world is too.
