1. Letter to Chris Ruane, MP for Rhyl – Page 1
Mr. Steven A. Ferbrache
Punning House
[Address redacted]
Chris Ruane MP
Labour Member of Parliament for The Vale of Clwyd
25 Kinmel Street
Rhyl
Denbighshire
LL18 1AH
08.02.2012
RE: Rhyl and the Power of Puns
Dear Mr. Ruane,
I must not hesitate in commending you on your long standing
commitment to the people of Rhyl. Your admirable ubiquity has no
doubt provided great comfort to the good people of what is
undoubtedly a good town.

2. Letter to Chris Ruane, MP for Rhyl – Page 2
Cont.....
I am writing to you in my capacity as a caring former resident of
Rhyl and also as a keen advocate for the regeneration of seaside
towns across the country. I am also a campaigner for the art of
Puns and the highly cherished act of Punning. I currently occupy
a position of trust and authority at Punning House; an
organisation dedicated to providing communities with an
opportunity to Pun competitively and casually.
With this in mind and in light of the growing demand for Punning
House’s consultative insight I have outlined some suggestions
(free of charge in this instance) for Puns that might form part
of any future regeneration campaigns. The primary purpose of the
campaigns would be to promote tourism, business and industry into
the area and promote a much needed boost to Rhyl’s image.
Please see attached Pages

3. Letter to Chris Ruane, MP for Rhyl – Page 3
Campaign Puns for the regeneration of Rhyl
“Rhyl! Honestly, it Rhylly is still Rhyliant!”
Notes:
It saddens me to say, although I’m sure you’ll agree that
Rhyl’s tourist industry has seen better days. Why not draw
people’s attention to the glories of yesteryear with this
obvious, but well-meaning half-truth?
Further notes: an aggressive smear of campaign of any
historians in the area would also need to take place.
I tell you what I want...what I Rhylly, Rhylly
want!!!
Notes:
A similar theme here. Perhaps one of the former Spice Girl’s
might like to get involved. She would of course be indicating
that what she “really, really wants” is a holiday to one of
Rhyl’s many caravan parks and holiday camps.
Further notes: an aggressive smear campaign of nearby Towyn and
Kinmel Bay would also need to take place.

4. Letter to Chris Ruane, MP for Rhyl – Page 4
Rhyl!! Journey to The Sun-Centre of the Earth....
Just down the A-55!
Notes:
This slogan will remind the consumers of North-West England that
The Sun Centre is just down the road...but which road? That’s
right! Everyone’s favourite A-road, the A-55!
Further notes: an aggressive smear campaign to cover up the
number of traffic collisions and deaths on Rhuallt Hill would
also need to take place.
It’s Ruane-ing men...Hallelujah!!
Notes:
Attract the female £££ to Rhyl’s numerous bars and nightspots
with this raunchy, tongue-in-cheek campaign showcasing one of
Rhyl’s finest sons – The Rt. Hon Chris Ruane!
Further notes: an aggressive smear campaign of David Jones,
Conservative MP for Clwyd West would also need to take place.
He’s quite handsome.

5. Letter to Chris Ruane, MP for Rhyl – Page 5
As you can see, Rhyl has massive potential when it comes to Pun-
based mass communication. These are just a few of my ideas and I
would be willing to meet with you to discuss my involvement in
any future projects.
I have provided below a consultative fee quotation for your
consideration:
Company: Service: Punner:
Punning House Consultative Steve Ferbrache
Punning
Item QTY Description Unit Total
Puns 10 Puns Conceive 10 Puns Cost Cost
Travel 1 person for “Regenerate £967 £9670
Accommodation 1 Person Rhyl” Media/PR per Pun £199.50
campaign £199.50 £10
1st Class return: £10
London Euston to
Rhyl.
I’ll stay with
my Mum – She
might like a
bottle of wine
Sub Total: £9879.50
Sales Tax: £1795.90
Total: £11675.40

6. I hope that you find these suggestions compelling and
the quote as representing outstanding value. I would
appreciate your thoughts on this crucial matter and look
forward to hearing from you soon.
Yours Sincerely,
Steven A. Ferbrache
Chairman|Punning House