My best friend’s brother lay wasting away in a hospice with two months to live. Two of my friends, early sixties, died in the last six months. Across the road a man lay dead for five days before anyone found his body. Last year I was diagnosed with malignant melanoma cancer. The doctor said it could have killed me in a year. Having escaped death’s clutches, I was shaken out of ‘cozy’. At seventy one, how many years did I have left to experience things I wanted before perhaps losing my mind, the power in my limbs or was being fed soup without knowing it was dribbling off my chin? http://stellaralfini.co.uk/clothed-in-chocolate-sauce/

1. STELLA RALFINI
W i t h

2. Clothed in chocolate sauce
For Women Who Wish To Stay Ageless
My best friend’s brother lay wasting away in a
hospice with two months to live. Two of my
friends, early sixties, died in the last six
months. Across the road a man lay dead for
five days before anyone found his body. Last
year I was diagnosed with malignant
melanoma cancer. The doctor said it could
have killed me in a year. Having escaped
death’s clutches, I was shaken out of ‘cozy’ .
At seventy one, how many years did I have
left to experience things I wanted before
perhaps losing my mind, the power in my
limbs or was being fed soup without knowing
it was dribbling off my chin?
http://stellaralfini.co.uk/clothed-in-chocolate-
sauce/.

3. Clothed in chocolate sauce
For Women Who Wish To Stay Ageless
My brush with death brought out a strong
desire to grab life by the horns, ditch my work
as a life coach for an unspecified period and
accomplish my major want –to find a
soulmate. A recurring dream told me I’d have
crazy sex with a man I’d fall in love with at first
sight and that I’d meet him in Florida. Call it
insane. I call it intuition. When my soul spoke
so succinctly, I followed. .
I knew my task might prove a challenge since
I’m not a woman who fits the perception of
how women my age should behave. I still
smoke roll ups, Al Capone cigarillos on
occasion, and love nothing better than a Jack
and Ginger; preferably with a spliff.
http://stellaralfini.co.uk/clothed-in-chocolate-
sauce/.

4. Clothed in chocolate sauce
For Women Who Wish To Stay Ageless
I booked a singles cruise, which started out in
Fort Lauderdale for reasons explained. My
daughter laughingly visualized it as ‘a blood
bath with hordes of wild eyed women with
stretched out painted claws hissing over a few
good men.’ Would I be able to compete? Did I
have the energy? The dating site I joined for a
month before being guided to Florida, nearly
knocked the confidence out of me.
My first date was supposed to be at a cosy
Japanese restaurant, but as soon as the guy
saw me turn the corner, he hurriedly put a
mobile to his ear, pretended his
granddaughter needed to be rushed to
hospital and vanished. The second man I
chatted to online, discovered I chopped 5
years off my age and said he never wanted to
hear from me again. ‘Are you serious?’ I
asked. ‘Serious as a heart attack,’ he said.
http://stellaralfini.co.uk/clothed-in-chocolate-
sauce/.

5. Clothed in chocolate sauce
For Women Who Wish To Stay Ageless
I think it was because when he googled my
name, he was accosted by pages of headlines
such as ‘Stella Ralfini, hilarious 68 year OAP,
says using her husband’s spunk as a beauty
mask keeps it young.’ The press, worldwide,
had a field day distorting an article I wrote to
encourage couples to embrace Tantra.
So apart from being non-conformist, I’m
regarded as not quite right in the head. As
you see, my chances of finding a soul mate
were slim – and it was likely I’d be the oldest
female on the cruise.
I knew I’d achieve one wonderful thing on the
trip. The cruise ship stopped at Falmouth,
Jamaica for the day. There I’d developed a
friendship with a woman called Sheila with
whom I had a soul-sister connection with from
the first message we exchanged on
Facebook.
http://stellaralfini.co.uk/clothed-in-chocolate-
sauce/.

6. Clothed in chocolate sauce
For Women Who Wish To Stay Ageless
I think it was because when he googled my
name, he was accosted by pages of headlines
such as ‘Stella Ralfini, hilarious 68 year OAP,
says using her husband’s spunk as a beauty
mask keeps it young.’ The press, worldwide,
had a field day distorting an article I wrote to
encourage couples to embrace Tantra.
So apart from being non-conformist, I’m
regarded as not quite right in the head. As
you see, my chances of finding a soul mate
were slim – and it was likely I’d be the oldest
female on the cruise.
I knew I’d achieve one wonderful thing on the
trip. The cruise ship stopped at Falmouth,
Jamaica for the day. There I’d developed a
friendship with a woman called Sheila with
whom I had a soul-sister connection with from
the first message we exchanged on
Facebook.
http://stellaralfini.co.uk/clothed-in-chocolate-
sauce/.

7. Clothed in chocolate sauce
For Women Who Wish To Stay Ageless
I don’t know whether it has to do with age, but
I’ve formed few new deep relationships as I’ve
grown older. There was a time when I felt as
though I bumped into soul sisters and
brothers wherever I went. These days that’s a
rare gift. One I sensed I’d share with Sheila –
a beautiful, tall strong Jamaican warrior, with
the smile of a queen. We both shared strong
relationships with God but were feisty, knew
what we were worth and got on with making it
happen no fuss.
Another of my intentions during the trip was to
finish a book I’m writing called ‘Sensual
Sorcery.’ This lists my home made natural
beauty recipes which are becoming popular
on the internet, and might hopefully prove
what can be achieved without plastic surgery.
Friends coo at my unlined neck, the baby skin
on the back of my hands, the healthy glow in
my cheeks. I don’t look 71. I don’t feel 71
apart from the nagging pain, raging through
my left leg most days.
http://stellaralfini.co.uk/clothed-in-chocolate-
sauce/.

8. Clothed in chocolate sauce
For Women Who Wish To Stay Ageless
This developed as an after result of my
second cancer operation. No-one can yet
explain it, other than I was the one in a million
who had an allergic reaction to the
anaesthetic used to numb my leg. Until
recently I included yoga in my life coach
sessions. This was also on hold, due to the
fact I could no longer open my legs wide
enough to do warrior pose or touch my toes
without electrocuting myself with pain –
hopefully crazy sex might remedy that.
I dipped into my meagre savings and booked
premium comfort everything. Premium
economy flight, quirked up, hippy apartment in
Fort Lauderdale where I’d stay for two nights
pre cruise, my own room with balcony on the
ship and a peaceful Zen abode in Boca Raton.
I don’t imagine there are many women my age
who would blow money saved for hospitals,
funerals and unexpected misfortune on sheer
indulgence.
http://stellaralfini.co.uk/clothed-in-chocolate-
sauce/.

9. Clothed in chocolate sauce
For Women Who Wish To Stay Ageless
My take on life is ‘if I need more money I’ll find
work.’ A little life of worry, anxiety and fear
seem pointless when even our next breath
isn’t guaranteed. A page back, I was telling
you that my focus was to find a soul mate and
my dream pointed me to Florida. According to
friends’ research, Florida was a thumbs-down
in the soulmate department because 70% are
Democrats who I’d disgust with my liberal
attitude – but what’s wrong with saying I
smoke weed? My lifestyle’s been rock ‘n roll
since I bought my first motorbike at 18 and got
high listening to Zeppelin and Deep Purple.
I worked for the Rolling Stones as their
Personal Assistant for three years in the
seventies, I’m still a hippie, albeit it with a
glamorous, slightly decadent diva slant. I feel
as connected to the music scene as I did in
my heady twenties, can dance the pants off
anyone on a dance floor; and I’m the kind of
woman a man can take to a peepshow to
watch women writhe about naked.
http://stellaralfini.co.uk/clothed-in-chocolate-
sauce/.

10. Clothed in chocolate sauce
For Women Who Wish To Stay Ageless
Particularly in Amsterdam with its abundant
Coffee Shops. Surely, there’d be one such
man in Florida who could embrace such a fun-
loving, partially crippled, smoking, drinking,
drug taking 71 year old with lesbian
tendencies?
The day before my trip, I looked up at the sky
and shared my concerns with God. A star fell
out of the sky and zigzagged towards me like
a firefly. I knew then I would find my soulmate
and we would accept all there was to accept
about each other. I told my daughter when
she kissed me goodbye at the airport. ‘Good
job you’re cool,’ she smiled. ‘Cos you are
definitely cuckoo.’
The above opening extract is taken from
Stella’s unbelievable, touching adventure,
‘Clothed in Chocolate Sauce.’ which recently
took her to Florida, Jamaica and Mexico.
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