True, it is not easy to have a happy and lasting marriage, but it is possible. Many married couples have lived happily together for 20, 40, or more years. Here is what has helped them to succeed...

1. What you can do to have a happy married life (Part 2).
Ways to strivefor a successfulmarriage
True, it is not easy to have a happy and lasting marriage, but it is possible.
Many married couples have lived happily together for 20, 40, or more years.
What has helped them to succeed?
They strivefor a successfulmarriageby doing the following;
Set aside time to be with your spouse
Set aside time to be alone with your spouseit strengthens your marriageand
reassures your matethat you enjoy being with him or her. Of course, it may be
difficult to arrangefor you to be alone if you have children or if there are many
activities that you have to do on a daily basis.
Perhaps you can plan to do something as small as a regular walk justthe two of
you.
Meet your spouse's needs
Everyonehas their own need to be shown, love. Talk about how you would like
to be treated and if any of you feel that you would like to be shown morelove.
Then do your best to meet your spouse's needs. Remember, it is vital that
marriagemates express their affection for each other so that their marriage
will last.
When both husband and wife act in such a loving way, their marriage will
endure and be happy, since“love never fails.” 1 Corinthians 13: 8
Those who wantto havea happy marriage, honor their spouses by continuing
to look not at personalinterests, but also at the personalinterests of those
their spouses, they think of things that are mostbeneficial to their spouses.
Further, each one should respect the other's dignity by not making him the
target of annoying words whether in public or in private.
The husband should act as the head of the family

2. The Bible tells us that man was created with qualities that would make him a
successfulfamily head.
However, a good husband is not abusive or dictatorial, using his position as the
head of the family abusing his wife, and demanding too much. Instead, he
loves and respects her. He values his wife and provides for her physicaland
emotional needs.
He also strives to please his wife, and he does not insiston doing things his
way, he openly expresses his feelings and thoughts and listens when his wife
speaks and he will never hurt his wife in any way physically or emotionally.
The husband should be humble remembering that even he makes mistakes
too. Therefore, a humble husband admits his mistakes, even though
sometimes words like, “I'msorry; you wereright,” or “you wereabsolutely
right” become difficult to pronounce.
A wife will find it easier to respect her husband's position as ahead of the
family if the husband is respectfuland humble than the one who is careless,
arrogant, very demanding, and a man of constant complaints.
What about the wife?
A good wifeis not only humble. She tries to be a real helper, to be supportive
of her husband in the decisions he makes. Of course, that is the easiest thing
for her when sheagrees with her husband's decisions.
But even if shedoes not agree with her husband's decision, in a wiseand
respectfulmanner, shewill discuss with him to help the husband achieve the
best results and success for the family.
Let's go back to the firstmarriage of Adam and Eve. Try to imagine what it
would have been like if Eve had thought about consulting her husband before
committing sin! Itis very likely that they would talk together as husband and
wife and they would probably not fall into that sin.
Eve did not respect her husband's headship by asking for his opinion on the
matter.

3. So beforewe say that the serpent caused Eve to sin we have to think about
what Eve should havedone before she made the decision to sin.
The lesson here is very clear; a wife should not make decisions without
involving her husband.
Another factor toconsider is that the wife should avoid offensive speech.
I once heard someonesay, "After work, I don'tfeel like going home early
because my wife is so noisy."
I know, as the husband, should havesolved the problem and not run away
fromit, but the point here though I am not sure; it is possiblethe woman was
not sensible or modest in her words.
A woman can thank her husband for his efforts in leading the family, instead of
criticizing him or making him feel that he could never please her. In dealing
with her husband in a positive way, sheshould keep in mind that “a quiet and
mild spiritis of great value in the eyes of her husband.”
Put your marriage first
You need to focus on your spouseand 'enjoy life' together. Make clear that
you are not neglecting your spouse; instead, you should look for ways to have
fun together.
What you can do;
 Make surethat you spend enough time with your spouseand that you
listen carefully
 Do not think only of yourself
Control your eyes and heart
The bible says: "Everyonewho keeps on looking at a woman so as to have a
passion for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart."
(Matthew 5:28). Thus, a person who constantly feeds on immoral fantasies
lacks loyalty to his or her spouse.
If you do not control your eyes, the eyes will send a messageto the heart of
what you have seen and the results will not be good.

4. What you can do:
 Make clear that you are committed to your spouse
 Consider your spouse's feelings, and immediately end any relationship
that could hurt your spouse.
Always be responsible in your marriage
What does mean to be responsiblein your marriage? Many would say it is the
realization that a person has responsibilities to fulfill. For example, common
responsibilities in marriageinclude caring for the needs of children and other
basic family needs.
Obviously, fulfilling those responsibilities is a vital part of a successfulmarriage.
But spouses need to do more than justfulfill those responsibilities. As we said
earlier, God instituted marriage to bring joy and satisfaction to both spouses.
He intended for a man to ‘rejoice with his wife’ and for a woman to love her
husband and to feel that her husband loved her as his own body.
To enjoy such a relationship, a couple must learn to trusteach other. Another
key is to develop lasting friendships. When a man and a woman trust each
other and striveto be close friends, they will be more responsiblein their
marriage.
Thus, responsibility can be compared to the cement mix that binds a solid
housebrick. Cement mixes include sand, cement, and water. Similarly, being
responsiblein your marriagecomes from a combination of factors, such as
trust, and friendship.
What are the barriers tobeing responsible?
Being responsiblerequires effortand a caring spirit for others’ interests. You
must be willing to give up your own interests to please your spouse.
However, the attitude of accepting the interests of others that is, giving
without asking, 'How will I benefit?' does not seem to be important and is
hated by others. But ask yourself, 'How many selfish people do I know who
have a happy married life?' If there are any, they may be very few.

5. Why?
Itis likely that a selfish person would not be responsiblein the marriage if he
or sheneeded to show a caring spirit for others’ interests especially if he or she
does not see how his efforts will benefit him.
Without being responsible, relationships will deteriorate even if there were
strong romantic feelings for the couple when they began to love each other.
Sadly, sometimes even couples who are usually not selfish do not recognize
when their partner shows the effortof being responsible.