The document summarizes the origins of Thanksgiving and provides commentary on its history and meaning. It discusses:
1) How the first Thanksgiving celebration in 1621 was more of a harvest festival between the Pilgrims and Native Americans after the Pilgrims' first crop was successful with the Natives' help. The Pilgrims had Schadenfreude towards the Natives' difficulties.
2) How future Thanksgivings celebrated the Puritans' advantages over the Native Americans in war, showing their growing Schadenfreude towards the Native people.
3) How Native Americans understandably loathe the modern Thanksgiving for its erasure of their perspective and role in the origins of the celebration.
And then it occurred to me. When I booked my Thanksgiving Day reservation at the Sheraton Commander hotel right down the street, the young manager had asked me if I wanted turkey or ham for my main course.
Romantic ideas for a memorable valentine's dayg ajay
Valentine's Day is just around the corner, and this year, you want to make sure it's a memorable one.
Chocolate and cards just won't cut it. You want your loved one to feel special, to see that you put in a real effort this year, and most importantly - to demonstrate your love and commitment to your partner.
CARE International Roots to Bloom PitchbookNia Smalls
Against all odds, women bloom in difficult situations, no matter the degree of adversity. CARE International wants to celebrate this powerful spirit by empowering women with real stories of triumph. We chose Ilhan Omar, Rebecca Walker, and Rose Mapendo to drive the campaign forward and inspire audiences to bloom, even when the odds are against them. The pitchbook gives an in-depth explanation of the campaign's activations
Happy thanksgiving as we remember those great days of family and life past re...howie martell
This document provides a summary of the author's most memorable Thanksgiving from 1985. Some key details:
- The author and his mother took a cruise to Baja California for Thanksgiving instead of their usual family celebrations.
- On the cruise, his mother secured them an invitation to dine with the captain by sending him one of the author's books.
- They had an amusing misunderstanding when another passenger mistook them for a married couple due to their titles.
- His mother organized a talent show performance reenacting the first Thanksgiving that was a success, despite the author being intoxicated and having to improvise.
- The author fondly remembers his mother and how she made the most of
This short story by John Updike titled "The Other" follows a man named Rob over several decades as he interacts with his wife Priscilla and her twin sister Susan. In their college years, Rob and Priscilla engage in innocent intimacy while Susan attends their wedding. Rob develops a strange fascination with Susan. The couples have families in different parts of the country, with their lifestyles and views diverging over time. After divorces, Rob moves to California and reconnects with Susan. They acknowledge the complicated dynamics between them throughout the years, considering becoming intimate but stopping short, mirroring Rob's early relationship with Priscilla. Updike employs vivid imagery and explores themes of dichotomy and the
This review summarizes Qurrat Ann Kadwani's solo show "They Call Me Q" performed at the Capital Fringe Festival in Washington DC. The show is a personal exploration of Kadwani grappling with her complex identity as an Indian Muslim woman who immigrated to the Bronx as a child. Through portraying 16 different characters from her life, she examines the many cultural influences that have shaped her identity and who she strives to become. The review praises Kadwani's talent in seamlessly exploring both ordinary and extraordinary experiences to draw the audience into a conversation about defining identity in a diverse world.
This newsletter provides advice for caregivers on using humor to help those they serve cope with difficult situations. It discusses how different cultures and religions use humor as a spiritual tool to help people survive hardships. The newsletter recommends that caregivers allow themselves humor and joy to balance their emotionally heavy work. Laughter is not disloyal to those who have passed away and can help people reconstruct their lives. Appropriate humor at funerals can help mourners celebrate the life of the deceased and facilitate their grieving process.
This 3 sentence summary provides the key details from the LA News July 2009 issue:
The document is the July 2009 issue of the LA News which discusses celebrating the 4th of July, staying cool in the hot summer weather, and July dates and events including Independence Day and themes of blueberries, hot dogs, and ice cream for the month. It also provides information on the in-home personal care services offered by Loving Assistants, LLC and shares a recipe for July 4th themed cupcake decorations.
And then it occurred to me. When I booked my Thanksgiving Day reservation at the Sheraton Commander hotel right down the street, the young manager had asked me if I wanted turkey or ham for my main course.
Romantic ideas for a memorable valentine's dayg ajay
Valentine's Day is just around the corner, and this year, you want to make sure it's a memorable one.
Chocolate and cards just won't cut it. You want your loved one to feel special, to see that you put in a real effort this year, and most importantly - to demonstrate your love and commitment to your partner.
CARE International Roots to Bloom PitchbookNia Smalls
Against all odds, women bloom in difficult situations, no matter the degree of adversity. CARE International wants to celebrate this powerful spirit by empowering women with real stories of triumph. We chose Ilhan Omar, Rebecca Walker, and Rose Mapendo to drive the campaign forward and inspire audiences to bloom, even when the odds are against them. The pitchbook gives an in-depth explanation of the campaign's activations
Happy thanksgiving as we remember those great days of family and life past re...howie martell
This document provides a summary of the author's most memorable Thanksgiving from 1985. Some key details:
- The author and his mother took a cruise to Baja California for Thanksgiving instead of their usual family celebrations.
- On the cruise, his mother secured them an invitation to dine with the captain by sending him one of the author's books.
- They had an amusing misunderstanding when another passenger mistook them for a married couple due to their titles.
- His mother organized a talent show performance reenacting the first Thanksgiving that was a success, despite the author being intoxicated and having to improvise.
- The author fondly remembers his mother and how she made the most of
This short story by John Updike titled "The Other" follows a man named Rob over several decades as he interacts with his wife Priscilla and her twin sister Susan. In their college years, Rob and Priscilla engage in innocent intimacy while Susan attends their wedding. Rob develops a strange fascination with Susan. The couples have families in different parts of the country, with their lifestyles and views diverging over time. After divorces, Rob moves to California and reconnects with Susan. They acknowledge the complicated dynamics between them throughout the years, considering becoming intimate but stopping short, mirroring Rob's early relationship with Priscilla. Updike employs vivid imagery and explores themes of dichotomy and the
This review summarizes Qurrat Ann Kadwani's solo show "They Call Me Q" performed at the Capital Fringe Festival in Washington DC. The show is a personal exploration of Kadwani grappling with her complex identity as an Indian Muslim woman who immigrated to the Bronx as a child. Through portraying 16 different characters from her life, she examines the many cultural influences that have shaped her identity and who she strives to become. The review praises Kadwani's talent in seamlessly exploring both ordinary and extraordinary experiences to draw the audience into a conversation about defining identity in a diverse world.
This newsletter provides advice for caregivers on using humor to help those they serve cope with difficult situations. It discusses how different cultures and religions use humor as a spiritual tool to help people survive hardships. The newsletter recommends that caregivers allow themselves humor and joy to balance their emotionally heavy work. Laughter is not disloyal to those who have passed away and can help people reconstruct their lives. Appropriate humor at funerals can help mourners celebrate the life of the deceased and facilitate their grieving process.
This 3 sentence summary provides the key details from the LA News July 2009 issue:
The document is the July 2009 issue of the LA News which discusses celebrating the 4th of July, staying cool in the hot summer weather, and July dates and events including Independence Day and themes of blueberries, hot dogs, and ice cream for the month. It also provides information on the in-home personal care services offered by Loving Assistants, LLC and shares a recipe for July 4th themed cupcake decorations.
O documento discute os estágios da morte segundo a perspectiva orgânica e bíblica, incluindo negação, raiva, barganha, depressão e aceitação. Também aborda três tipos de morte: física, moral e espiritual. Finalmente, enfatiza que ainda há esperança de vida eterna para aqueles que crêem em Jesus Cristo.
The document announces a schedule for youth soccer games that are part of the 2009 SESC Olympics in Deodoro, Rio de Janeiro. On May 2nd, there will be four under-14 soccer matches played - two in the morning starting at 8:00 and 9:00, and two in the evening starting at 10:00 and 11:00, between various youth soccer teams.
El documento establece las normas y horarios para las visitas de familiares a pacientes hospitalizados en la Unidad de Hospitalización de Corta Estadía Psiquiátrica. Se permiten 2 visitas simultáneas por paciente de martes, jueves, sábados y domingos entre las 15:00 y 17:00 horas. Se especifican los objetos permitidos y prohibidos para los visitantes e indica que el personal vigilará el cumplimiento de la norma.
Você não tem formação ou experiência para exercer determinada atividade. É necessário estudar e se capacitar adequadamente antes de iniciar qualquer trabalho. Busque orientação para planejar sua qualificação profissional.
A pessoa estava infeliz e com a vida em ruínas até encontrar o amor que a fez sorrir e acreditar novamente nas coisas simples da vida, apesar da distância física. A pessoa veio para amar o outro para sempre.
O documento discute os processos de tratamento térmico e revestimentos para ferramentas de trabalho a frio, como nitretação e PVD. É importante que a temperatura de revenimento da ferramenta seja inferior à temperatura do processo de nitretação ou PVD para evitar deformações. O fabricante da ferramenta deve ser informado sobre quaisquer tratamentos posteriores planejados.
O documento discute a viagem astral, onde acredita-se que a consciência sai do corpo físico durante o sono para "passear no espaço". Apenas alguns chamados "projetores" afirmam ser capazes de controlar e se lembrar conscientemente dessas experiências fora do corpo. Especialistas acreditam que o ser humano possui vários "corpos" de energia que se separam durante o sono, permitindo que a consciência saia do corpo físico.
The document describes an approach called Doc2Spec that infers resource specifications from natural language API documentation. It extracts method descriptions and class hierarchies from documentation using NLP. It builds action-resource pairs and infers automata specifications. An evaluation on 5 libraries found the inferred specifications have high precision and recall, and are useful for detecting real bugs in open source projects. Future work includes improving specification templates and applying it to other documentation.
A Alemanha é um país desenvolvido localizado na Europa central. Sua economia é baseada na indústria e comércio e possui um alto IDH. O Mali é um país em desenvolvimento localizado na África ocidental com economia baseada na agricultura e mineração, além de ter baixo IDH e acesso limitado a serviços básicos.
Un wiki es un sitio web colaborativo que permite a múltiples usuarios crear, editar y modificar contenido de forma fácil y rápida. Los wikis pueden ser privados, protegidos o públicos dependiendo de quién puede acceder a su contenido. Para crear un wiki, los usuarios necesitan una cuenta, contraseña, dirección de correo electrónico y definir la temática y nombre del wiki.
Sylvester van Niekerk provides his curriculum vitae detailing his personal and employment history. He has worked in various roles involving mechanical fitting, welding, spray painting, and hydraulic and boilermaking duties. His most recent position was as a foreman for Hydraulic Refreshment from July 2013 to August 2014. Currently he does contract boilermaking work and has various technical skills including welding.
Endereco Do Blog De Fabiana Aparecida Rodrigues TonsisFabiana Tonsis
Este blog pertenece a Fabiana Aparecida Rodrigues Tonsis, una profesora de historia. El blog contiene información sobre su trabajo como profesora y recursos relacionados con la enseñanza de la historia. La dirección del blog es http://professoradehistoriafabiana.blogspot.com.
The document discusses how menus are an important marketing tool for restaurants and should be carefully designed. It provides tips for creating effective menus, including keeping them simple, ensuring they are comprehensible to international customers through dual language descriptions, and keeping menu items and pricing up to date. Examples of innovative and visually appealing menu designs from restaurants around the world are also highlighted.
O documento relata o depoimento de duas cursitas de um curso de Linux em 2009. Elas destacam que o curso está sendo muito importante para suas vidas profissionais e pessoais ao abrir seus horizontes para novas tecnologias como o sistema Linux, e também pela equipe de colegas maravilhosos que tornam as aulas dinâmicas e preciosas.
A gonorreia é uma doença sexualmente transmissível causada pela bactéria Neisseria gonorrhoeae que infecta os órgãos genitais e outras áreas do corpo. Os sintomas variam entre homens e mulheres, podendo incluir dor ao urinar e secreção de pus. Transmite-se através de relações sexuais desprotegidas e compartilhamento de roupas e toalhas. É tratada com antibióticos como ceftriaxona ou doxiciclina.
This document provides a lengthy personal anecdote from the author about their most memorable Thanksgiving. It describes the author's family traditions of celebrating at multiple relatives' homes and overeating. It then details how the author and their mother celebrated Thanksgiving on a cruise ship, where their mother charmed the captain but he unexpectedly came on to the author. Their mother then organized a talent show performance reenacting the first Thanksgiving, even though the author was intoxicated and had to improvise the script.
The latest article on thanksgiving from a turkey's prospective let the revolu...howie martell
The document discusses a Thanksgiving article from a turkey's perspective that calls for a turkey revolution. It then summarizes several sections of the article, including describing a typical Thanksgiving celebration from the author's childhood and a memorable Thanksgiving cruise the author took with his mother. The document ends by suggesting focusing on problems one doesn't have to feel thankful on Thanksgiving instead of enumerating good things.
1) Creating memorial cards for deceased pets is becoming more common as a memento for owners to remember their faithful animal companions.
2) Planning a funeral program is a major undertaking that requires a lot of work and commitment. It can be a stressful and mentally taxing process.
3) Funeral programs typically include an obituary, order of service details, and poems or songs. They come in single or double fold sizes to accommodate photos and information about the deceased individual.
The document provides reflections on Christmas from different perspectives. It begins by summarizing an article criticizing Queen Elizabeth for canceling her staff's Christmas party due to budget cuts, arguing she should bring people joy instead. It then discusses the author's most memorable Christmas in London in 1974 when a gentleman delivered a gift by hand that changed his life, and encourages readers to pay it forward. Finally, it previews an upcoming article interviewing the Grinch for his perspective on Christmas.
O documento discute os estágios da morte segundo a perspectiva orgânica e bíblica, incluindo negação, raiva, barganha, depressão e aceitação. Também aborda três tipos de morte: física, moral e espiritual. Finalmente, enfatiza que ainda há esperança de vida eterna para aqueles que crêem em Jesus Cristo.
The document announces a schedule for youth soccer games that are part of the 2009 SESC Olympics in Deodoro, Rio de Janeiro. On May 2nd, there will be four under-14 soccer matches played - two in the morning starting at 8:00 and 9:00, and two in the evening starting at 10:00 and 11:00, between various youth soccer teams.
El documento establece las normas y horarios para las visitas de familiares a pacientes hospitalizados en la Unidad de Hospitalización de Corta Estadía Psiquiátrica. Se permiten 2 visitas simultáneas por paciente de martes, jueves, sábados y domingos entre las 15:00 y 17:00 horas. Se especifican los objetos permitidos y prohibidos para los visitantes e indica que el personal vigilará el cumplimiento de la norma.
Você não tem formação ou experiência para exercer determinada atividade. É necessário estudar e se capacitar adequadamente antes de iniciar qualquer trabalho. Busque orientação para planejar sua qualificação profissional.
A pessoa estava infeliz e com a vida em ruínas até encontrar o amor que a fez sorrir e acreditar novamente nas coisas simples da vida, apesar da distância física. A pessoa veio para amar o outro para sempre.
O documento discute os processos de tratamento térmico e revestimentos para ferramentas de trabalho a frio, como nitretação e PVD. É importante que a temperatura de revenimento da ferramenta seja inferior à temperatura do processo de nitretação ou PVD para evitar deformações. O fabricante da ferramenta deve ser informado sobre quaisquer tratamentos posteriores planejados.
O documento discute a viagem astral, onde acredita-se que a consciência sai do corpo físico durante o sono para "passear no espaço". Apenas alguns chamados "projetores" afirmam ser capazes de controlar e se lembrar conscientemente dessas experiências fora do corpo. Especialistas acreditam que o ser humano possui vários "corpos" de energia que se separam durante o sono, permitindo que a consciência saia do corpo físico.
The document describes an approach called Doc2Spec that infers resource specifications from natural language API documentation. It extracts method descriptions and class hierarchies from documentation using NLP. It builds action-resource pairs and infers automata specifications. An evaluation on 5 libraries found the inferred specifications have high precision and recall, and are useful for detecting real bugs in open source projects. Future work includes improving specification templates and applying it to other documentation.
A Alemanha é um país desenvolvido localizado na Europa central. Sua economia é baseada na indústria e comércio e possui um alto IDH. O Mali é um país em desenvolvimento localizado na África ocidental com economia baseada na agricultura e mineração, além de ter baixo IDH e acesso limitado a serviços básicos.
Un wiki es un sitio web colaborativo que permite a múltiples usuarios crear, editar y modificar contenido de forma fácil y rápida. Los wikis pueden ser privados, protegidos o públicos dependiendo de quién puede acceder a su contenido. Para crear un wiki, los usuarios necesitan una cuenta, contraseña, dirección de correo electrónico y definir la temática y nombre del wiki.
Sylvester van Niekerk provides his curriculum vitae detailing his personal and employment history. He has worked in various roles involving mechanical fitting, welding, spray painting, and hydraulic and boilermaking duties. His most recent position was as a foreman for Hydraulic Refreshment from July 2013 to August 2014. Currently he does contract boilermaking work and has various technical skills including welding.
Endereco Do Blog De Fabiana Aparecida Rodrigues TonsisFabiana Tonsis
Este blog pertenece a Fabiana Aparecida Rodrigues Tonsis, una profesora de historia. El blog contiene información sobre su trabajo como profesora y recursos relacionados con la enseñanza de la historia. La dirección del blog es http://professoradehistoriafabiana.blogspot.com.
The document discusses how menus are an important marketing tool for restaurants and should be carefully designed. It provides tips for creating effective menus, including keeping them simple, ensuring they are comprehensible to international customers through dual language descriptions, and keeping menu items and pricing up to date. Examples of innovative and visually appealing menu designs from restaurants around the world are also highlighted.
O documento relata o depoimento de duas cursitas de um curso de Linux em 2009. Elas destacam que o curso está sendo muito importante para suas vidas profissionais e pessoais ao abrir seus horizontes para novas tecnologias como o sistema Linux, e também pela equipe de colegas maravilhosos que tornam as aulas dinâmicas e preciosas.
A gonorreia é uma doença sexualmente transmissível causada pela bactéria Neisseria gonorrhoeae que infecta os órgãos genitais e outras áreas do corpo. Os sintomas variam entre homens e mulheres, podendo incluir dor ao urinar e secreção de pus. Transmite-se através de relações sexuais desprotegidas e compartilhamento de roupas e toalhas. É tratada com antibióticos como ceftriaxona ou doxiciclina.
This document provides a lengthy personal anecdote from the author about their most memorable Thanksgiving. It describes the author's family traditions of celebrating at multiple relatives' homes and overeating. It then details how the author and their mother celebrated Thanksgiving on a cruise ship, where their mother charmed the captain but he unexpectedly came on to the author. Their mother then organized a talent show performance reenacting the first Thanksgiving, even though the author was intoxicated and had to improvise the script.
The latest article on thanksgiving from a turkey's prospective let the revolu...howie martell
The document discusses a Thanksgiving article from a turkey's perspective that calls for a turkey revolution. It then summarizes several sections of the article, including describing a typical Thanksgiving celebration from the author's childhood and a memorable Thanksgiving cruise the author took with his mother. The document ends by suggesting focusing on problems one doesn't have to feel thankful on Thanksgiving instead of enumerating good things.
1) Creating memorial cards for deceased pets is becoming more common as a memento for owners to remember their faithful animal companions.
2) Planning a funeral program is a major undertaking that requires a lot of work and commitment. It can be a stressful and mentally taxing process.
3) Funeral programs typically include an obituary, order of service details, and poems or songs. They come in single or double fold sizes to accommodate photos and information about the deceased individual.
The document provides reflections on Christmas from different perspectives. It begins by summarizing an article criticizing Queen Elizabeth for canceling her staff's Christmas party due to budget cuts, arguing she should bring people joy instead. It then discusses the author's most memorable Christmas in London in 1974 when a gentleman delivered a gift by hand that changed his life, and encourages readers to pay it forward. Finally, it previews an upcoming article interviewing the Grinch for his perspective on Christmas.
This document is a newsletter from the OPMI Business School describing a performance of Christmas carols by students in an ESL class taught by Emily Blake. The performance was used as an exercise to help students with pronunciation and public speaking skills. Blake sees performances, singing and other public speaking activities as ways to help students overcome their fear of speaking English and build confidence. The newsletter provides background on Blake and her teaching philosophy of using theatre, music and speaking to develop language skills.
This document is the December issue of a magazine called Activated. It contains various articles and poems related to Christmas. The main article is a letter encouraging the reader by reflecting on the difficulties Mary and Joseph likely faced on the first Christmas in Bethlehem, but how their joy in Jesus made it worthwhile. Despite challenges, the reader is encouraged to persevere in faith as others have. The issue also provides Christmas reflections on love, peace, family and the true meaning of Christmas, as well as information on the organization publishing the magazine.
This document provides summaries and descriptions of various books focused on humor, including memoirs, fiction works, and children's books. Some of the works summarized include The Lobster Chronicles about life on a small Maine island, Girl Named Zippy chronicling growing up in a small Indiana town in the 1960s-70s, and The Gallery of Regrettable Food about bizarre vintage recipes. Other summaries cover works from Alexander McCall Smith's Professor von Igelfeld series, letters from a mysterious "Mr. Nancy," and works by Mo Willems, Jon Scieszka, and Sherman Alexie. The document was prepared for a library convention to highlight humorous books.
The document is a tribute written by Caitie McRae about her father, legendary Ottawa Sun columnist Earl McRae, written on the one-year anniversary of his death. She describes how she has coped with her father's loss and found comfort in reading the letters and stories he wrote that demonstrated his gift for writing and ability to lift people up with his words. The tribute highlights how her father focused on giving a voice to people in his journalism and used writing to help others.
This document provides background information on author B. M. Bower and summarizes the first chapter of her 1918 western novel "Cabin Fever". The chapter introduces the main character, Bud Moore, who owns an auto stage line in California but is suffering from cabin fever due to the inactivity of winter. It describes how he met and married Marie the previous year. Bud is now growing frustrated living with Marie and her critical mother, felt most strongly during his lonely breakfast cooking while the baby wails and Marie refuses to feed it, believing it is not the designated feeding time.
Similar to Vic Dillinger's Thanksgiving Day Bash! (9)
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1. Vic Dillinger's Thanksgiving Day Bash!
And it ain't Christmas.
Christmas is an especially stressful time of year (c'mon, you know you look at it with that sense of
looming, gnawing dread). On any stress scale, right up there with spousal death and divorce is
the "holiday" of Christmas.Â
Holidays are supposed to be fun and joyous; Christmas is a time of angst and financial ruin,
though. All meaning is lost - if I were Jesus I'd be pretty ticked off about it. I mean, how would
you feel, on your birthday, if people all stood around giving each other gifts? [Never mind the other
things that are all wrong about Christmas: December 25 is not Jesus' real birthday; it's a pagan
holiday subverted by the Church to make the converts quit their pagan stuff; etc.. That's a discussion
for another time.]
Hallmark Hell
Hallmark holidays (those bogus holidays contrived to do nothing more than lighten the load in your
wallet by guilting you into "feeling" something you probably don't, Â but you fork over gifts and
cards anyway) are the greatest of bottom feeders.Â
Valentine's Day, Mothers' Day, Fathers' Day, Groundhog Day, Grandparents' Day, et al - the calendar
is choked with these meaningless superficialities. [I'm still yarked over Groundhog Day - I send
that danged Punxsutawney Phil "Happy Groundhog Day" cards and little gifts every year, and he
never even sends a thank-you note. He could at least call].Â
And before you even think about getting all bunged (pronounced "bunj'd" with the soft "j" sound) up
over my slamming Mothers' Day, consider the facts. In the first place we don't need a "Mothers'"
Day, what we need is a "Women's Day". Mothers' Day leaves out all those hotties who happen to
know what birth control is - unfair, I say!! Secondly, the very woman who so strenuously lobbied to
have Mothers' Day recognized as a true celebration of motherhood came to hate it and lobbied just
as strongly to have it removed from the calendar!!
Anna Jarvis, an American minister's daughter, was born in 1864 in Grafton, West Virginia. She was
what the Victorians called a "spinster" (a very ugly term with many negative connotations). She
was a teacher, and she was pathologically devoted to her mother (like Norman Bates, Elvis, and
people of that ilk that just "love they mama" more than anything on the earth).Â
Jarvis was childless; she was "horrified" (her word) to see adult children "neglecting" (also her word)
their mothers. She made it her goal to change this attitude and indifference. She thought that
one day each year should be set aside to pay tribute to all mothers, using the maudlin justification,
"theirs is the only love that asks for no return". [Puh-leeze - talk to Casey Anthony about a
mother's love. Or Ma Barker.]
Jarvis and her sainted mother moved to Philadelphia, and she carried her Mothers' Day idea with
her. She agitated locally, and started a massive letter-writing campaign, enlisting supporters and
writing hundreds of letters to Congress, clergy, labor leaders, doctors, and mayors.
Nothing much was done until the media drive of her own mother's death brought the idea to the
2. fore again. On May 10, 1908, Jarvis arranged for memorial services to be held on her mother's
behalf in both Grafton and Philadelphia. White carnations had been her mother's favorites, so
Jarvis had them distributed at those very first services. This was the first Mothers' Day and
because it happened to be the second Sunday in May, this was the date selected for the future (the
second Sunday in May).
Her over-sentimentality caught the public's attention. She continued to lobby for the day.  She
and a group of followers initiated a campaign, with politicians and administrators falling in line.Â
They used many methods of "persuasion" none more effective than emotional extortion: anyone not
pro-Mothers' Day "just did not love his [or her] mother".
In 1910, the governor of West Virginia introduced Mothers' Day in his state. Several other states
were cowed into following suit, with the ultimate guilt trip thrown at then-president Woodrow
Wilson. On May 9, 1914, he caved in to the pressure and made Mothers' Day official throughout
the United States, keeping the "second Sunday in May" date.
This holiday became a juggernaut (it is the second most commercially viable Hallmark holiday; only
Valentine's Day generates more cash). Jarvis saw what happened to "her" holiday, and as early as
the mid 1920s she was already beating a drum to get rid of it. She spent the rest of her life railing
against this golem of hers, agonizing over the fact it was not celebrated as she intended.Â
She was probably a little more than steamed, too, that she got no credit for the idea and was largely
forgotten (meaning, no money was coming her way). What little money she had of her own Jarvis
spent fighting a losing campaign against the commercialization of "her" day. She drove herself to
poverty; friends had to pay for her upkeep. She was placed in a nursing home (which friends paid
for). Having lost her eyesight, she spent the rest of her days in the facility, dying there at the age
of 84 in 1948, a bitter old woman hating her creation. Mothers' Day, of course, continues to
generate much lucre.
Valentine's Day, its sloppy sentiments aside, is the worst of all the Hallmark holidays. I don't need
Valentine's Day to remind me I love my wife/girlfriend/woman I brought home five hours ago from
the gun show. Valentine's Day is not a private, romantic idyll between two unselfish lovers (as it
should be). Instead, it is an over-the-top display of crass conspicuous consumption, and the
"look at me" element cannot be denied.Â
How many men have sent flowers to a woman's place of employment? This is nothing but a selfish
bid to draw attention publicly to the gift giver. Guess what, ladies? Any guy that does that is
bucking for a pat on the head. He may actually love you, but his love for himself overrides that.Â
He wants the world to know what a great guy he is, not how much he loves you.Â
Trust me, menfolk: if you're going to be stupid and waste a boatload of money for flowers and
trinkets on Valentine's Day (even though you should love and cherish your woman every damn day,
not on just one "special" manufactured day) SEND THEM TO HER HOUSE WHEN SHE IS HOME
ALONE!! She will understand better in that smaller gesture how much you actually do love her
rather than with the overtly public ego stroking of gifts delivered in front of an audience. The
impact on her will be far greater and certainly more sincere. This is inarguable and not open for
further discussion (although you are free to talk among yourselves). I know of what I speak
(because I love women, and I also do not need public adulation to validate how awesome I am).
The Hallmark holidays are stinkeroos for another reason. The best three things in human existence
cannot be found in any of the Hallmark holidays: sex, sex, and sex.Â
3. No, actually, the best three things in life are sex, sleep, and food!! And one holiday guarantees you
at least two out of the three best things (or all three depending upon how suave and debonair, or
drunk, you are). And that holiday is the most wondermous Thanksgiving Day.
Turkey Day Basics
Holidays should not be torturous or seem like Eternal Damnation on Earth. They should not be
times of agitation or stress, but generally they are (ask the Manson Family just what holidays were
like around their hippie-scum campfires). But, they can be fun, and a good time can be had by one
- usually only me because I have fun everywhere I go - or all.Â
The holiday that marries all good things into one is Thanksgiving Day. Stress? What stress?
Barring the annoyance of your "slow" Uncle Bubba Ray (drinking directly from the gravy boat again,
when you keep telling him shot glasses are wayyyyy classier) there's not much to agonize over on
Thanksgiving.Â
It's the holiday of eating and lapsing into a tryptophan-induced coma from eating too much turkey,
and for groping the women (whose presence on the planet is the only thing I'm thankful for,
ever). That groping thing is probably something only I do on Thanksgiving, but for everyone else
you get food and sleep, 2/3 of the total greatest things picture. But, as in all holidays (and
Thanksgiving is no exception), there is evil lurking in the [turkey] wings.
Native Americans loathe Thanksgiving Day. They have been vocal in their distaste for decades.Â
Hmmmm . . . I can't imagine why they're so upset, but let's go back into the past and take a look at
Thanksgiving's origins in America and we'll see if we can find out . . . [Insert cheesy time-travel
4. special effects here]:
Truth in Advertising
The Germanic language in its honesty and bluntness many times can be downright brutal.Â
Germans, for example, have a single word, backpfeifengesicht, that translates into "a face badly
in need of a fist". That's right: "a face badly in need of a fist". Think about that - if we had such
a word in English I would use it every waking hour of every day to describe accurately how I feel
about Justin Bieber. It is eloquent.
So, too, the forthright Germans have another brilliant and concise word that I love,
Schadenfreude. This translates roughly into "deriving pleasure from the misfortunes of others".Â
And it is Schadenfreude that lies behind the Puritan's veneration and commemoration of the earliest
Thanksgiving celebrations.
The Spanish were here first (but for a few odd circumstances and a lotta Spanish wussiness, we
would all habla Español today and not English). The Puritans were not the first or most
successful of the early colonizers but they were excellent communicators and self-promoters. Their
history is better known than most colonizers, including the earlier Spanish, because they made a
point of not-so-humbly blowing their own horn almost as soon as they set a silver-buckled, black-
shod foot upon Native American soil.
Schadenfreude led the way to the first sense of Thanksgiving (not the feast itself but the sentiments
behind it). The first Puritan colony barely survived its first winter here, and that was only
through the help and intervention of the Native Americans living in their area.Â
5. To show just how ill-prepared the pilgrims were for the New World, these "enlightened" religious
crackpots brought many Bibles and other things of irrelevance to start new lives; among the lot not
one of them, however, brought a simple set of fishing gear or a plow! ["How doth thy boiled Bible
taste there, Malachi?" "Tis quite delectable, Goodwife Prudence. But, I must sayeth, I would kill
for but one trout!"]Â
Although co-existing grudgingly, the Native Americans bartered and often simply gave foodstuffs to
the starving little group that first year. Once the Puritans learned the Natives' growing techniques
(and actually applied themselves to something other than contemplation of Providence and enforcing
pillory timetables) they survived on their own.
The first Thanksgiving in America, of course, was not called that. Harvest festivals and feasts have
existed for millennia, and the bounty of a good year demanded celebration universally. In mid-
October 1621 (about ten months after landfall) the Puritans had much for which to be thankful.Â
They'd just suffered through a terrible winter, one of deprivation, "general sickness", and many
deaths. They had good neighbors (the Native Americans who helped the Puritans). Their first
complete season of growing was successful and the harvest was good (again, thanks to the
Natives). A celebratory feast was certainly in order. Schadenfreude entered their giving of
thanks as well - they were grateful that their Native neighbors were having difficulties and many
were succumbing to disease brought by the Puritans to the New World.
Indians historically (and this seems to be anthropologically proven in almost every primitive
society) had a sense of community and communal sharing that is hard to grasp.Â
6. The father of pioneer girl, Laura Ingalls Wilder, was an oddball named Charles Ingalls. He made
the mistake of foolishly settling in Kansas' Indian Territory illegally when Laura was quite young
(before the idealized Walnut Grove days fictionalized in the television series). Charles was a
strange bird who didn't always do his homework. He knowingly settled on land given by the US
Government to the Native Americans (the Ingalls were later forced off the place by the US Army).Â
Mrs. Ingalls reported on the natural curiosity of her swarthier land mates. But the Native sense of
communal sharing terrified her: Indians sometimes showed up at the Ingalls' cabin without
warning. They would go through her dry goods in silence, and perhaps would take some sugar or
flour and then leave. This was not stealing in the traditional sense. For starters the Ingalls family
was living on Indian land at the Indians' pleasure. Secondly, the Native culture didn't recognize
ownership in the same way Europeans did.Â
Charles recalled sitting in their cabin one evening when an Indian he had never seen before came
into his prairie cabin, produced a pipe, squatted down on the hearth, and indicated for Charles to
light him up. Charles gave him a bowlful, they smoked quietly, and then the Indian took Charles'
grouch bag of tobacco with him and left. Charles later learned this man was a member of a chief's
family and it was considered an honor to have shared his pipe (and Charles' "gift" of tobacco).
The Puritan festival was supposed to be a religiously solemn celebration. The local Native
Americans (contrary to the romanticized version of these two contentious factions calling a truce
and breaking bread in peace) were not invited nor were they welcomed.Â
They did crash the party, however, in typical Native American communal sharing fashion. And they
brought friends. And more friends. And soon there were more Native Americans than Puritans
celebrating. The simple feast became a real shindig with games, sporting events, the firing of
guns, and the sounding of bugles. And the planned one-day celebration extended to at least three
days.Â
Now, I ask: which Thanksgiving celebration would you rather have attended? The original Puritan
one, or the one with the party crashers? [I'll take "I Like Native Americans" for $200, Alex.]
7. But this was not all bunnies and rainbows as it might seem on the surface. This camaraderie did
not last, and as time wore on the Schadenfreude of the Puritans toward the natives grew
exponentially. As proof, when the New Englanders decided to make official a day of giving thanks
the Schadenfreude is clear. In the edict setting the event, note the italicized phrases [highlighting
is mine] and ask yourself about their meaning:
 "The Holy God having by a long and Continual Series of his Afflictive dispensations in and by the
present Warr with the Heathen Natives of this land, written and brought to pass bitter things against
his own Covenant people in this wilderness, yet so that we evidently discern that in the midst of his
judgements he hath remembered mercy, having remembered his Footstool in the day of his sore
displeasure against us for our sins, with many singular Intimations of his Fatherly Compassion, and
regard; reserving many of our Towns from Desolation Threatened, and attempted by the Enemy, and
giving us especially of late with many of our Confederates many signal Advantages against them,
without such Disadvantage to ourselves as formerly we have been sensible of, if it be the Lord's
mercy that we are not consumed, It certainly bespeaks our positive Thankfulness, when our Enemies
are in any measure disappointed or destroyed; and fearing the Lord should take notice under so
many Intimations of his returning mercy, we should be found an Insensible people, as not standing
before Him with Thanksgiving, as well as lading him with our Complaints in the time of pressing
Afflictions:
The Council has thought meet to appoint and set apart the 29th day of this instant June, as a day of
Solemn Thanksgiving and praise to God for such his Goodness and Favour, many Particulars of
which mercy might be Instanced, but we doubt not those who are sensible of God's Afflictions, have
been as diligent to espy him returning to us; and that the Lord may behold us as a People offering
Praise and thereby glorifying Him; the Council doth commend it to the Respective Ministers, Elders
and people of this Jurisdiction; Solemnly and seriously to keep the same Beseeching that being
persuaded by the mercies of God we may all, even this whole people offer up our bodies and souls as
a living and acceptable Service unto God by Jesus Christ."
8. [First Thanksgiving Proclamation, June 20, 1676. Courtesy of US Historical Documents Archive]
Note the "Christian" love-thy-brethren sentiments in this document (most notably in referring to the
natives as "heathen", thus reducing them ideologically to sub-human levels). The highlighted
passages underscore what's really going on here. The New Englanders believed the New World
was destined for them (they refer to themselves in the document as "Covenant people"). It was
meant as theirs by divine right. They are establishing a day of Thanksgiving not solely for their
own good fortune but more in thanks for the misfortunes of their neighbors, the Native Americans.
Schadenfreude!! [Gesundheit!]
The Kiddie Table
So now you know why Native Americans hate Thanksgiving (or at least one reason). But here's
why I love it: except for the food preparation you really don't have to strain yourself to celebrate.Â
It can be a time of laughter and arguments and
good times but for that one moron who can't
seem to understand, while it's okay to loosen
your belt, it's not okay to take off your pants.
[Oh, wait, that's me! Never mind.]
To start with, Thanksgiving was observed
sporadically. But, as in Mothers' Day, it was a
woman who lobbied to make it a national
holiday. Finally, in 1863, President
Lincoln issued a "Thanksgiving Day
Proclamation", and it was made a regular annual national holiday. Thanksgiving Day is celebrated
on the fourth Thursday in November in the US.
America, Jr. (a/k/a/, Canada) also observes Thanksgiving, but they do it closer to the actual time the
first one really happened, the second Monday in October. [Which makes much more sense than
November. Nobody ever said we were too bright or big on the details - we're 'Merkins, gol dang
it!]
Canadians had their first version of it in 1763, when the citizens of Halifax, Nova Scotia, celebrated
the Treaty of Paris (wresting Canada from those silly French and giving it over to the less silly
British). In Ontario, Thanksgiving Day was first observed in June 1816, in appreciation for the end
of the war between Great Britain and Napoleon. The Canadian Parliament, in 1879, proclaimed it
an annual holiday for Canada. After mucking around with the dates it finally settled into its current
place in October in 1957.
Christmas has all those drippy Christmas carols. Thanksgiving, though, has only one song.Â
Most people lump it into the Christmas dreck, however. It's "Over the River and Through the
Woods" ("to Grandmother's house we go . . . "). It's Thanksgiving's only hit - we need more songs
for this holiday, specifically songs about pie.
9. In America, all families have their traditions and routines. An element of commonality is the
dreaded Kiddie Table (if you're a kid). This is where all the snot-noses usually sit and strap on the
feedbag. As a child your goal is to graduate to the Big Table where the adults sit. That, sadly,
can take a long time. It usually requires the natural death or assassination of a senior table
member before a post opens up. But be patient, kids!
Another grand tradition is watching the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade. This is a somewhat
newer tradition (if you call within the last 100 years newer - compared to the year 1621, you bet).Â
The televised parade, though, is much better than seeing it live on the streets of New York. It's
wayyy cozier to watch everything from the comfort of your home rather than hobnobbing with the
sticky masses.
An annoying, even newer "tradition" is the insertion of American football into the schedule,
equating it with Thanksgiving Day. This irks me beyond reason. Football takes 79 hours to play a
game that on its clock is supposed to run an hour. The last 15 seconds of any game takes 34
minutes. I would rather watch paint dry than sit through the crushing, soul-destroying boredom of
this man-on-man "action" that passes for entertainment (and that includes the Superbowl, an
exercise in hyper-inflated, bloated commercialism if ever there was one).Â
Along with my disdain for football, there is another creepy practice. I do not now engage, nor ever
have engaged, in the bromantic pastime of male-bonding. Bromance and hanging with "the boys"
is not for me. If I'm in a place where the men all eat and then adjourn to watch football in some
man cave afterward (excluding the women) I'm so outta there. I'll leave if I can. If I can't, I'll go
find the women of the house and see what they're up to (usually more interesting, plus it might lead
to the other item on the three best things in life list).
I hang with the ladies, girls, hot aproned maidens. [This lovingness works best if you're not
attending a dinner with your female relatives. That danged Uncle Bubba Ray - I've had to pry him
away from his teenaged niece, Cheri Lou, too many times. "Cheri" is pronounced "cherry", by the
way. Other people's female relatives are all prime pickin's, however.]
No matter what your household eats or does, just remember Thanksgiving is supposed to be a
time of giving thanks for your own fortune (and not for the misfortune of others like the Puritans
did). We are truly blessed in this country - let's focus on that fact and not the crapulous, boring
football games.Â
http://www.infobarrel.com/Vic_Dillingers_Thanksgiving_Day_Bash