The document provides comedic descriptions of characters from a game or story. It introduces several characters through bullet points listing bizarre or contradictory traits, including being a prince of hell, homunculus, lawful good, and having anger issues. It suggests some characters want to bang others, including a 2-year old. The descriptions satirize alignments and include inappropriate or confusing details about the characters.

1. for anyone who has ever asked me what this is
'i swear to god'
A One Act Play By Stack Software
Written by yuhki asuza

2. i wrote a summary

3. okay get ready
Platina pastn pasteur
u ready
pastener
i present to you the
●
prince of hell
most conservative
outfit in this game ●
undiagnosed narcoleptic
●
undiagnosed multiple personality
disorder
●
“anger management issues”
●
sentient genetic timebomb
5'7 and still manages
to tower over half ●
also homunculus
the cast
●
VESSEL OF THE JUDEO-
CHRISTIAN GOD
●
two years old
he really
hates
avocados
●
lawful good appreciation lyfe
for some who the fuck
reason wtf hates avocados
oh right 2 yearolds

4. Alexander pasn er pasteur pasterner
see what I mean
well at least he
●
okay I give up trying to romanize this
acts his age
surname
●
prince of hell, older
2 yers old
●
also homunculus
●
“fuckin stupid but fuckn smart” ~
beryl
●
Perfect dick height, somehow
strongest character in game
●
less of a genetic timebomb
●
lives a neutral good appreciation life
magical girl
●
who the fuck dressed you

5. Do any of you have any
idea how many photos of
hot women I had to
scroll through on google jade davis
images to find this
●
full time angel/antagonist, part-time royal
advisor (platina)
●
Blowjobs: Just another method of
subterfuge?
want to
break his ●
im kidding of course the gayest thing that
nose happens in this game is a hug
●
(or is it)
●
this is jade davis his actions are not
constrained by the bounds of the narrative
you ignorant slut
●
Unrepentant Asshole
●
probably wants to bang a two year old
●
wow its almost like every single bit of his
dialogue and personal philosophymanages to
wow ancient scribes in a sect of
brgeoning demonic psychologists perfectly combine the arrogance and
boner 4 charles are hard at work in a mountain
rigidity of law with the flagrant
darwin village far from the capital city to
detail all of jade davis’ numerous asshattery of chaos to form the perfect
and deep rooted psychological
problems godiva blend of ALIGNMENT CONFUSION

6. Okay there has to be at least one
asian-sounding surname in the sea of
all this english Thats like anime
sapphirus hawthorne
law
Im waiting fro it ●
Full time angel/antagonist, parttime
royal advisor (alex)
Cape – anna
●
Extremely Law
house
fashions, ●
His wife is a total narc
$150
●
longs to simultneously bang jade davis
Suit – mens
fashion and break his nose
outlet -
$20 ●
life would probably be improved by
cocaine
●
responsible for alexander past nuers
wardrobe choices
●
sapphirus 'gains trendy haircut, loses
depth perception' hawthorne

7. feast ur eyes
on the manliest character in
Lhodo
this game
●
i forgot his surname
●
that wasnt a typo
●
murders The Last Kemonomimis
family and gets genderswapped into
the body of his dead fiance
●
who he also murdered
●
a real stand up guy
hot a what
●
is still a less insulting foray into
trans character territory than
naoto shirogane
●
One of these bullets is not like the
other

8. Whoa what
plum
hold your fucking
horses
●
he doesnt have a surname
●
that also wasnt a typo
what are you doing in
my party no I dont ●
The Last Kemonomimi
want
●
is like 200 fucking years old
●
lhodo killed his family he is like all
kinds of fucked off about that
●
lesser known superpower:
nonconsensual genderwsapping
●
he likes to bake or some shit idk
●
did anyone even do this fuckers
route
●
i mean i did but without the
Excellent Atlas Translation
●
i missed an opportunity for google
I didnt ask for this destiny
translate comedy

9. yeah ruby jackson
●
would really benefit from family
counseling sessions
●
www.thenicestplaceontheinter.net
●
hunting his half-brother down
●
his dad cheated on his mom
because he wanted some of that
angel booty
●
this ultimately got both of his
parents decapitated so it was A
Bad Move
yeah me too
●
likes to get crunk on his downtime
●
Me too

10. Oh my god caroll martell
●
is a priest?? in hell???
●
i cant imagine thats a lucrativ
career choice but okay w/e
●
Half angel
●
shanked his his half brother a
couple of years ago
●
he also runs like an orphanage in the
slums or some shit
what are you
wearing: the
videogame
●
likes to read the bible in his spare
time
●
(he cant read the bible)

11. hiragi
There it is
Zil hiragi
●
part time assassin for hire/full
time artist
●
no seriously he lives on a mountain
and crafts Phallic Pottery while
also murdering motherfuckers
●
presumably he then sells his crafts
on www.bad-dragon.com
●
his late wife was an artist
●
platina supports him in honoring his
wife's memory by reminding him
how much he sucks in all his
creative endeavors on a constant
basis
●
Thanks platina
●
like 7 feet tall holy shit

12. zettai ryouiki beryl
“yeah ok maybe you ●
on ce upon a time the demons were
shoud have taked to
oppressed by the kemonomimi s
me 200 years ago
when I stil gave a ●
an angel decided to hlep one demon boy
fuck”
check their privilege in the form of
Assisted Mass Genocide
●
a couple hunred years later said demon
You dont say realizes tht his benefactor is bugfuck
insane and seals hm in the equivalent of
an interdimensional pit with the help of
the remaining kemonomimis
●
craeted homuculus princes somewhere
between bullets 2 n 3
●
Likes fine bitches and getting crunk
●
homunculi not excluded from the
former

13. AHAHAHA HES A LITLE
PERSON seles
●
seles “i dont just love god I am IN
LVOE wit god”
●
god likes you okay he just doesnt
LIKE like you
●
i think hes supposed to be like the
metatron or some shit
●
before he murdered yhvh somehow
I mean
●
this game can be summarized as 1
mans thounsand year jurney to get
some divine booty
●
really pissed off about that whole
trapping in an interdimensional
chamber indefinetly shit you pulled
beryl

14. summry
●
this game has been ruinging my life for the past decade
●
i dont even liek carrol but i like how hs intro is thrwong
afireball at jades face
●
beryl yuo are buttfuck crazy: A One Act Play
●
i made a 13 slide powerpoint jesus