Coursework piece which I both wrote and laid out in Indesign.

2. Media Guardian
Uncovering the Van
Journalist, broadcaster, and reality TV star, Vanessa Feltz
Vanessa Feltz message has been left.
has told me off twice in I reluctantly key in the
the last 24 hours. First is right numbers and listen
the rendezvous planning to the message. “Hi, its
disaster.“1pm tomorrow, Vanessa”, a clipped tone
my house”, she de- says. “You’re not here,
mands, after agreeing to I live on the road with
be interviewed. I make the houses. If you want
the mistake of tentatively to come and talk to me,
asking if we could make you’ve got to come and
it slightly later, to which find me.” Telling off
she angrily retorts: “You number two. My mouth
don’t get to ask me that, turns to sandpaper as
I’m doing you a colossal I make my way to the
favour here. You don’t next house, absolutely
get to make demands dreading who, or what, I
of me!” “Ok”, I quickly might find.
agree, immediately As I walk to the
thinking how best I can door, I hear her loud,
change my already made excitable, trademark
appointments to suit Va- voice emanating through
nessa Feltz, “1pm it is.” I the glass, and immedi-
am genuinely terrified. ately I am comforted.
I stand outside I’m welcomed into her
her house, 24 hours later, house by an immacu-
ringing the bell. I rea- lately dressed woman
son with myself that if wearing a frilly red top
by seven rings she still and black trousers, plati-
hasn’t answered, there num blonde hair flaw-
must be a problem, so it lessly straightened, and
is perfectly reasonable to a face which is perfectly
call. So I call, telling her made up. Not bad for a
I’m outside, and she says woman who’s spent all
she’ll come and let me morning on the radio!
in. But five minutes later, As she finishes talking
and there’s still no sign to her uncle, her phone a flattering picture of her, or so, and bids him an
of her. It is only then rings, indicating she is accompanied by the text, affectionate adieu, call-
that I realise that I’ve a woman in demand. “Hear jaws dropping”, ing out after him, “lots
been standing outside There’s a poster on the and I’m beginning to see of love.” Finally we sit
the wrong house! I look wall advertising her why. She sees her uncle down, she offers me a
down at my phone, and award winning BBC ra- out, leaving me alone in coke, which I’m in des-
see that an answerphone dio show, which features the kitchen for a minute perate need of, and asks

3. nessa Show
opens up about family, friends, and fame
her radio show, the first “I don’t know, really-
being programme pre- what do you think?”
senter of the year at the An interview
Frank Gillard Awards in last year explained her
late 2008, and the more success on the radio
recent win as Speech by stating: “Vanessa,
Radio Personality of the we feel your pain, and
Year at the 27th Sony you feel ours, and that’s
Radio Academy Awards probably why you are
in May 2009. And so, speech radio personal-
I begin by congratulat- ity of the year.” The
ing her, whilst asking judges of the Sony
why she thinks this has Radio Academy Award
been so much more concurred, claiming she
successful than her chat “brings humanity and an
shows. But rather than authentic personality to
focus contentedly on her her programmes.” And
successes, she chooses they’re right. But does
instead to jump on the she agree?
defensive, once again. “It may be be-
“My chat shows haven’t cause people feel they
been successful?” she know me”, she says.
asks, horrified. “The “I’ve been a tabloid
Vanessa show lasted for creature for 18 years,
about eight years, and they know I’ve been
then I was poached by divorced, they know I’m
the BBC for a great deal fat, they know that my
of money and made an mother died at 57…”
enormous amount of The fat card didn’t take
fanfare because it was long. But the bringing
such a success.” Imme- up of her divorce and
diately Ian Parker’s cruel the loss of her mother to
but perhaps credible cancer is more telling,
statement in the Guard- especially as it is just the
ian that “Vanessa Feltz first of several appear-
how long the interview perfect” I ecstatically … can communicate ances they are to make
is going to take. I’m so reply, although I was only one thing, which is in the short interview.
afraid by this point I tell hoping for a bit longer. her own magnificence” “The TV show I used
her however long she In the last 18 springs to mind. “The to present I was down
wants. “Half an hour?” months, Vanessa has secret of success of my among the people”, she
she says, but I know that been the recipient of radio show?” she eventu- continues. “I seemed to
this is rhetorical. “That’s two separate awards for ally attempts to answer, be approachable, I didn’t

4. Media Guardian
seem either frighteningly Cooking, for Vanessa, is ally fair to dislike me on
beautiful or scarily intel- just one of these things. those grounds because
ligent.” With a deliber- Having just finished I know how it feels to
ate emphasis on seem, filming Celebrity’s be ripped open in the
she implies that when Restaurant in Our Living press.” She manages to
it comes to her public “He was a can- portray this very matter-
profile, all is not neces- of-factly, but the tinge of
sarily as it appears. But tankerous git of At home
regret embedded in her
with Ben
I’ve come up with my a fellow...” somewhat unfairly criti-
own interpretation. She it to her, she tried every cal portrayal in the me
may seem rather abrupt, Room, due to be aired possible way she coul- As I tentatively
outspoken, (and has most at the end of March, she doconceive of to create bring up her rather
certainly frightened me makes it very clear that some sort of rapport with memorable performance
over the last 24 hours), cooking is not a passion Paul Daniels, whom she on Celebrity Big Broth-
but after only a few short of hers, and this I can lived with for two weeks er, I manage to elicit a
minutes, one thing is for tell by the immaculate, on Celebrity Wife Swap small laugh. Many saw
sure-Vanessa Feltz is almost clinical kitchen in 2007, but to no avail. her as somewhat vulner-
definitely approachable. we are sitting in. She able, and insecure, was
“I certainly don’t doesn’t hesitate, howev- “Although I’m this the real Vanessa, I
think there’s a Vanessa
shaped gap on the TV
er, to tell me that “eating a journalist its want to know, or is she
is!” “One of the reasons always as confident as
while they wait for me”, I thought it was worth not really fair she seems?
she concludes, with a
pragmatic, and down to
getting decent A-levels to dislike me on “It was complete-
and a decent degree from ly real at the time”, she
earth view of her own Cambridge was that I those grounds answers honestly. “No-
importance.
Either way she’s
could pay someone else because I know one ever knows how
in a restaurant to cook they are going to react
not bothered, because for me”, she admits. how it feels to to anything until they’ve
she’s having the time of
her life. “I think you can
“I’m delighted be ripped open done it. You’d hope
it’s over, but it was a you’d be courageous
do more on the radio, very steep learning in the press...” and marvellous but you
she says. “You can cover curve,” she continues. might not be”, she says
a much wider breadth of “I cooked diligently, before allowing for a
topics and anyone can planned diligently, and “He was a cantanker- brief pause. For once
ring up. I think that’s got up at three to fold ous git of a fellow”, she Vanessa Feltz is lost for
what makes it worth napkins. I was doing it says, before the ques- words. “I don’t really
listening to. I find that for real, absolutely play- tion is even finished. know why it was so ex-
by the end of the show, ing by the rules, which “He was just difficult treme actually but it just
I’ve changed my mind, I subsequently realised for no reason at all”, was”, she continues. “I
and at my age I think were my rules, rather she continues, sounding was much too influenced
that’s brilliant, because than the rules. They were a bit hurt. “I also think by the fact that there
you don’t want be too set open to interpretation, he had a preconception was barbed wire and big
in your ways, you don’t and I found it an interest- about me. He dislikes all dogs and a big door that
want to think you know ing life lesson. You think journalists, and although slammed. My children
everything already. The there’s only one of doing I am a journalist, I’ve were over a bridge and
best thing you could pos- it, the way you do it, but also been at the receiv- as we walked in I could
sibly know is that you it’s not true at all, there ing end of a great deal see them over the dis-
don’t know everything are all sorts of way of of nasty snipey horrible tance, and it was the first
at all, and that somebody doing it.” journalism. So yes I’m a time I’d been separated
else might know better.” And you’ve got to give journalist, but it’s not re- from them since they’d

5. me-it didn’t feel right or
been born, my divorce
was incredibly recent nice doing it”, she says.
“Anyone who looking nice. But obvi-
ously when something
and very heartbreaking “So what was the ques- says it isn’t nice awful happens like your
tion again?” as she loses
so I wasn’t in a very hap-
py and secure frame of herself for the second
when people marriage falling apart
and mother dying and
mind anyway, and as my time. “I think it was look excited to people stop to ask you
definitely the real me”,
children disappeared this
big door clanged.” No she decides, proudly,
see you is ly- for your autograph and
people take pictures of
doubt about it, Vanessa’s forgetting that she has, ing because it your children and start
in fact, already answered
two daughters, Saskia
and Allegra, are her life. the question. “It was all
is-it’s huge, it’s rifling through your
dustbins then you don’t.
And if the kitchen has completely genuine, but massive for the I also don’t like the idea
I’d like to think if I was
no use for cooking, it
certainly has a use for in that position now I
ego, and a big that if I did something
stupid or unwise like
showcasing the immense wouldn’t do that. I’m bloody thrill.” Ashley Cole or John
love she has for her years along from my Terry style it would be
family, as pictures of her divorce, I’m very happy splashed all over the
and her daughters fill the tabloids and everyone
otherwise plain room. would know, so it puts
“I don’t blame a lid on my behaviour.”
anyone”, she continues. Never appearing as one
“I think I had far too who does care about
much time to think, and what people think, it
I’d had a really bruising makes you wonder
time of it very recently. exactly how far she
The format’s really hor- would go if it were all
rible as well, you have systems go. But Vanes-
to suck up to people all sa Feltz certainly does
day and then betray them care, more than she’d
at night, and I suppose it have you believe.
felt very similar to what So what does she
my husband had done to actually like about be-
ing famous?
“I enjoy being Making no secret
“I love when
people love me and
in the public eye of their love
love the show,” she
but when some- with my partner, and I
my self at my best”, she continues. “And
concludes, happy with anyone who says it isn’t
thing awful hap- don’t feel the same kind this final assessment. nice when people look
pens like your of terrible heartache I
felt then”, she says, as
What with her excited to see you is ly-
ever present place in ing-because it is nice, it’s
marriage falling she flashes the big rock the media, I assume it’s a great feeling, it’s huge,
apart and peo- on her finger, symbolis-
ing her engagement to
a given that she likes it’s massive for the ego,
being in the public eye, and a big bloody thrill.
ple start rifling one hit wonder, Ben but she’s quick to correct You know, my mum’s
through your Ofoedu of Phats and
Small. “I don’t regret
me. “Yes and no”, she dead”, which may appear
begins. “I enjoy being in to be a random com-
dustbins then I going in there, though. I the public eye if things ment, but the impres-
dont...” was vulnerable … it was
my real self but not
are good, and if I’m sion I’m getting is that

6. Media Guardian
about 17 years, and re- “My future
ally the ideal thing for
me would be to have all plans are to be-
the fun of the career but come mother of
without the fame.”
Bearing all this in the bride, and
mind, what’s next for Va- do it gracefully,
It all gets too nessa? “My daughter’s
much in the Big getting married, how which is diffi-
Brother house about that? My daugh- cult...
ter’s getting married!”,
fame, for Vanessa Feltz, and the fact that your defensive, outspoken,
she exclaims, perking up
is intended as a sup- children probably cant and abrupt woman who
immediately. Ultimately,
pressant, a drug, to get either is quite horrible. greeted me 24 hours
family is most important.
her through the difficult Anything you’ve ever ago, and in her place
“My future plans are to
life events which she said comes up again and is the real personality,
become mother of the
has had to endure, and again- it will never go totally unaffected by the
bride, and do it graceful-
give her the security that away- never.” fame which she’s had an
ly, which is quite diffi-
she otherwise wouldn’t “On reflection enduring love-hate rela-
cult, because it’s a differ-
have. “To have people my ideal thing would be tionship with for the last
ent role from what I’m
looking really pleased to be incredibly success- 17 years. And as I walk
used to playing, there’s
to see me is nice and is ful, incredibly rich, and out of her house, she
another family involved.
a relief”, she continues. totally anonymous, and bids me an affectionate
I’ve got to try and keep
“I don’t kid myself that that’s why I’m amazed adieu, calling out after
the peace and try not to
they genuinely love me that someone like Alan me, “lots of love.”
be a control freak about
and that if I died they’d Sugar or Duncan Ban- it, and try and realise its
be heartbroken, I know natyne would want a not actually my wed-
they wouldn’t, it’s still public profile”, she pon- ding”, she laughs.
on the superficial level- ders. “They’re already “Career wise, I
nice. But the scrutiny, rich and hugely success- hope to carry on with the
the censure and press ful and they’re admired BBC, take any opportu-
derision, intrusion into by their peers. Why nities that come my way,
private life, the fact that do they want people to and if they don’t they
you cant make mistakes know about them? They don’t, and if they do then
like other people can could do it quietly, they great. I’ve had some ex-
without people knowing could enjoy it without cellent career breaks and
people knowing about
“I’ve been very them, without that scru-
some great opportuni-
ties.” Anyone who thinks
well known now tiny.” But so could she she takes what she has
have done, I remind her,
for 17 years and and didn’t she say that
for granted is wrong. “I
love my radio show, and
the ideal thing everyone loves being do it with every ounce
recognised? Anyone,
for me would be perhaps, who needs the
of passion I can possibly
summon up, and I hope
to have all the reassurance that they to carry on doing it and
are loved. “Obviously
fun of the ca- I’ve had ample chance
win some more awards,
that would be nice!” With Matthew
reer without the to think about this”, she It’s been 24 hours Wright after win-
ning her Sony
continues. “I’ve been
fame.” very well known for
since that first terrifying
phonecall. Gone is the award