This document contains a collection of 30 classic travel quotes that touch on various aspects of travel, including its joys, difficulties, and quirks. Some quotes poke fun at specific destinations like Paris or California, while others offer witty advice or observations about transportation, packing, and the travel experience in general. The quotes are attributed to famous comedians, writers, and historical figures and showcase lighthearted perspectives on life on the road.

1. A collection of classic travel quotes to sharing lighthearted wit about the joys and sorrows of travel.

2. 1. ―When you come to a fork in the road….take it‖ – Yogi Berra

3. 2. ―Kilometers are shorter than miles. Save gas, take your next trip
in kilometers.‖ – George Carlin

4. 3. ―If you’ve seen one redwood tree, you’ve seen them all.‖ – Ronald
Reagan

5. 4. ―I’ve been to Paris. And it ain’t that pretty at all.‖ – Warren Zevon

6. 5. ―Too often travel, instead of broadening the mind, merely
lengthens the conversations.‖ — Elizabeth Drew

7. 6. ―Another well-known Paris landmark is the Arc de Triomphe, a
moving monument to the many brave women and men who have
died trying to visit it.‖ – Dave Barry

8. 7. ―The major advantage of domestic travel is that, with a few
exceptions such as Miami, most domestic locations are conveniently
situated right here in the United States.‖ – Dave Barry

9. 8. ―Thanks to the interstate highway system, it is now possible to
travel from coast to coast without seeing anything.‖ – Charles Kuralt

10. 9. ―The worst thing about being a tourist is having other tourists
recognize you as a tourist.‖ – Russell Baker

11. 10. ―You can find your way across this country using burger joints
the way a navigator uses stars.‖ – Charles Kuralt

12. 11. ―You got to be careful if you don’t know where you’re going,
because you might not get there.‖ – Yogi Berra

13. 12. ―Do not insult the mother alligator until after you have crossed
the river.‖ – Old Haitian Proverb

14. 13. ―Canada is the vichyssoise of nations – it’s cold, half French and
difficult to stir.‖ – Stuart Keate

15. 14. ―On a New York subway you get fined for spitting, but you can
throw up for nothing.‖ – Lewis Grizzard

16. 15. ―Gaiety is among the most outstanding features of the Soviet
Union.‖ – Joseph Stalin

17. 16. ―San Francisco is like granola. Take away all the fruits and the
nuts and all you have left are the flakes.‖ – Unknown

18. 17. ―France is the only country where the money falls apart and you
can’t tear the toilet paper.‖ – Billy Wilder

19. 18. ―Boy, those French. They have a different word for everything.‖ –
Steve Martin

20. 19. ―Climbing K2 or floating the Grand Canyon in an inner tube.
There are some things one would rather have done than do.‖ –
Edward Abbey

21. 20. ―There is science, logic, reason; there is thought verified by
experience. And then there is California.‖ – Edward Abbey

22. 21. ―If you are going through hell, keep going.‖ – Winston Churchill

23. 22. ―I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit
going to those places‖. – Henny Youngman

24. 23. ―Two great talkers will not travel far together.‖ – Spanish
Proverb

25. 24. ―Why buy good luggage? You only use it when you travel.‖ – Yogi
Berra

26. 25. ―I dislike feeling at home when I am abroad.‖ – George Bernard
Shaw

27. 26. ―I had a prejudice against the British until I discovered that fifty
percent of them were female.‖ – Raymond Floyd

28. 27. ―Living on Earth is expensive, but it does include a free trip
around the sun every year.‖ – Unknown

29. 28. ―When preparing to travel, lay out all your clothes and all your
money. Then take half the clothes and twice the money‖. – Unknown

30. 29. ―Knock Knock! Who’s there? Tibet! Tibet who? Early Tibet and
early to rise!‖ – Aha Jokes

31. 30. ―Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.‖ – Mark
Twain