Whether parents or teenagers, we have all benefitted from internet technology and an increasingly connected world. However, the many positive advancements of technology have been accompanied by a darker side including cyber-bullying, pornography, sexting, etc. This “darker side” of technology can negatively affect us with short and long-term consequences. As parents, we cannot afford to ignore this danger, but rather we need to confront it with awareness, understanding, and the light of God’s direction. Dr. Tim Sumerlin and Valerie Fincher, high school and middle school counselors, will provide parents with helpful and powerful insights and advice about how we can help our children avoid the pitfalls of internet technology. Much of this program will also specifically address teens.

1. AND WHAT YOU AND YOUR CHILD
NEED TO KNOW
VALERIE FINCHER, M.ED.
TIMOTHY SUMERLIN, PH.D.
The Dark Side of Technology

4. Let’s start with this

5. Here is what we know…
● Our culture encourages sharing information and images
freely, including sexual ones
● Nudity is common in ads, Instagram, YouTube, music
videos
● Research studies reveal that over 20-30% of teenagers
have sent sexually provocative messages.
● Girls tend to send more sexual images than guys, but
guys tend to solicit more.

6. What students are saying…
● Sexting is common and not viewed as unusual
● Seniors think it’s more common than underclassmen
○ Some start young - even middle school!
● Parents don’t commonly check their child’s phone
● It’s easy to get away with “stuff”
● There are always new apps
● Students know who “the sexters” are

7. They say “only I’ll see it…”
But, the likelihood of that happening is slim.
One study showed that 75% of teenage males admitted to
sharing content with more than one person, regardless of if they
said they wouldn’t
• That’s roughly 882 studentsat a school of 2100
kids!

8. What’s the big deal?
Once a photo is digital, it never goes away.
Most phones automatically upload/save photos to the
Cloud, Facebook, or other files/social media.
Chances are photos will be seen by more people
(such as other students, parents, future employers, school
officials, and internet predators)
Many photos also contain GPS coordinates, meaning anyone
can find your exact location

9. Why do people sext?
● People think it will make the recipient like them more
or want to be with them
○ In reality, the sext is viewed as derogatory
○ The sender is treated like an object rather than a person
• Sender not thought of as having thoughts and feelings
• Unkind words and interactions
● As a result of low self-esteem
○ People send them thinking they will be seen as more desirable
○ Trying to replace feelings of emptiness and loneliness
● As a joke.

10. Emotional Effects
● Experience embarrassment & humiliation
● Experience bullying
● End of friendships
● Experience guilt and shame
● Objectification
● Anxiety
● Feelings of hopelessness

11. HINT: IT’S CHANGING
ALL THE TIME!
So, what are kids using?
top social networking sites & apps kids use - UPDATED REGULARLY

12. Common
Apps
Snapchat
(and SnapSave)
Instagram
Twitter
*side note- Facebook has lost popularity with teens

13. Messaging
Apps
Kik
WhatsApp
GroupMe

14. Photo
and
Video
Sharing
Vine
Tumblr
iFunny
YouTube

15. Anonymous
Sites
Yik Yak
Ask.fm
Whisper

16. …and apps to keep things secret
NQ Vault
Private Photo Vault
Secret Photo and Video Calculator
Secret Photo Icon
Keep Safe Private Photo Vault
Secret Safe Vault Manager
And many, many more

17. Secret Photo and Video Calculator
● Looks – and works – like a
calculator until the passcode
is entered and storage app
opens
● Store contacts you don’t want
in your address book
● Browse the internet privately
without leaving traces

18. Secret Folder Icon Free
● Decoy mode - user can enter password in reverse
order to hide information
● Camouflaged home screen - move app to a folder and
no one can see it
● Surveillance system – enter the wrong password and
it takes a photo of intruder
● Self-destruction – 5 chances to correct passcode, after
which the app will automatically erase all data
● Panic warp – instantly switches to another app
using a flick, shake, or by putting phone facedown

19. Keep Safe
● Fake pin – create a second PIN that opens a
decoy KeepSafe that looks just like the
normal app but with photos you don’t mind
people seeing
● Secret door – masquerades KeepSafe as
another app. Others will see what looks like a
different app when they open KeepSafe
● Break-in alerts – snap a photo and alerts
you when someone tries to open app

20. Instagram
● Personal info too easily shared (Profile section)
○ Someone can find your exact location with a first & last
name
● Makes info public (first/last name, phone #, email address, etc)
unless you change privacy settings
● Location share is automatic if not turned off
● Many teens friends with people they do not know
● Now has Porn: nudity can always be an issue,
especially on photo share apps
○ no filter available
● Common to ‘rank’ girls. “Hot or not”
● **Be friends with your child**

21. WHAT STUDENTS AND PARENTS
MAY NOT KNOW
The Legality of Sexting

22. It’s child pornography
● When a student receives a nude picture and shows it, or
when a student requests one, they are requesting child
pornography. If they show nude or explicit materials, they
are distributing child pornography.
● Requesting, possessing, and/or showing these pictures is
illegal and if tried and convicted, can go on a student’s
permanent record and label them as a sex offender.
● Sexting is defined by the U.S. court system as “an act of
sending sexually explicit materials through mobile phones.”
The messages may be text, photo, or video.
● Former students have been prosecuted.

23. Legal Consequences
● If you have a nude picture in your possession:
○ You can be charged with a crime
○ You can be labeled as a sex offender
○ You could be sentenced to incarceration at the
Department of Youth Corrections
All of this can happen even if it’s a picture of you!
● Parents can risk charges of contributing to the delinquency
of a minor if they know and don’t do anything.
○ Sometimes risk of CPS involvement

24. What does the label “sex offender” entail?
● Informing the police department every time you move or start
a new job, which is required by law, for the rest of your life
● Having your name, photo, address, crimes, and other
information listed on a government website for anyone
to see
● Not being able to live within a certain distance of schools
● Employers knowing you are a sex offender (and likely not
hiring you because of it)

25. WHAT YOU AND YOUR CHILD CAN DO
What now?

26. Talk about it
● If your child have been pressured to send a
picture/sext/do something he/she didn’t want to do,
they will not get in trouble for reporting it. We
want students to tell us so we can make sure it doesn’
t happen to someone else!
● Counselors are available to talk and help students
cope with what has happened.
● If someone has shared a nude picture of a student or
someone else, police may get involved

27. What you can do as a parent
● Have a conversation with your child
○ Ask if they or their friends have sexted or been pressured to do so
● Help your child to talk - safe environment
○ Open communication lines will be beneficial for this and many topics
● Check your child’s phone!
○ Keep their password-do random phone checks often
○ Monitor phone - www.teensafe.com (7 days free/14.95 mo. unlimited
phones)
● Don’t assume “it isn’t your kid”
○ Statistically, about ¼ - 1/2 of you sitting in this room has a child who has
participated in sexting

28. What else?
delete,
delete,
delete!
Don’t forget about the Cloud, your computer backup, your automatically uploaded
photos on social media, and the “recently deleted” folder!

29. Consequences of Cyberbullying
● Kiana’s law - July 1, 2015. Online bullies will now be charged
with misdemeanor harassment, punishable with fines and up to
six months in county jail.
○ Criminal intent to alarm, annoy, or harass
○ Direct or INDIRECT (Does not need to be sent directly to victim.)
● Provisions for retaliation for reporting bullying
● Provisions for forwarding offensive texts or emails

30. Legal Cases Encouraged to Consider
● The # of communications
● The # of people reached through those communications
● Level of offensive comments (i.e. encourage suicide)
● Did communication intend to provoke others into action
against the bullied?
● Did communication provoke others to join
● The effect that the communication had on the recipient
● Any other aggravating or mitigating fact/s

31. Food for thought

32. HOW TEENS THINK ABOUT PORN

33. REGULARLY VIEW PORN

34. BARNA SURVEY www.barna.org
● Takes little effort to access porn
● More cavalier attitude than adults
● Teens more often seeking out (intentional)
● Also, coming across porn when viewing other
material
● Has a similar effect on brain and as addictive as
cocaine - same basic pleasure pathways

35. THE SCRIPTURES TEACH ABOUT PORN
● Produces shame which leads to more porn
● Memories can last a lifetime
● Makes Christianity seem powerless
● Damages relationships/intimacy in families - creates
distance among friendships
● Tarnish the way you view the opposite sex - may result
in damaged marriage & lifetime of insecurity
● Porn offends a holy God
● Opens you up to more involvement on the internet
1 Cor. 6:12 I will not be enslaved by anything

36. Conclusion
Some basic safety guidelines

37. Basic Technology Safety
● Use your lock screen passcode
● Do NOT share your passcodes for your phone or apps
● Do not share your location or any details that would help
someone find you (including screen names)
○ Make sure you shut your location services off
● Set all accounts to highest privacy settings
○ Don’t ‘friend’ or ‘follow’ people that you do not know
● Charging station for devices
● Online ads

38. Basic Online Safety
● Log out of accounts on public computers
● Computer use should be in a public area (not room)
● Set time restraints & ‘approved sites’
● Check history or use other monitoring options
● Don’t post/text anything you wouldn’t say in person
● Do not communicate with people online that you do not
know personally
● DO NOT someone in person that you met ‘first’ online.
○ Nearly ⅓ of teenage girls admit to meeting someone in
person after meeting them online.
● If anything makes you uncomfortable, talk to a parent or
trusted adult
● TALK to your kids