Advice-giving leads one to think about future actions that the person in need of guidance could take. As such, when asked to give advice, people are more likely to think critically & specifically about strategies the person could use to improve.

1. Stop Asking for Feedback
by Amantha Imber November 16, 2020
Simone Golob/ Getty Images
Summary.
Feedback has little impact on our performance, & over one-third of the time, it
actually negatively impacts it.
• The reason feedback is so ineffectual is because it is backward-looking.
When someone gives you feedback, they’re anchoring themselves in the
bygones & reflecting on your past behavior.
• The secret lies in asking for advice instead. Advice-giving leads one to
think about future actions that the person in need of guidance could
take.
• You can do this by 1) Being specific in the type of advice you’re asking
for; 2) Asking people to think about what could help you in the future; 3)
Asking the right person.
Many years ago, I applied for a role I had considered my dream job. I made it to the
last round of the interview process where I had to give a presentation at the
company. When I was done, I asked them for feedback. “How did it go?” I said &
received some damning & utterly unactionable comments. I left the room with a
deflated sense of self. Needless to say, I didn’t get the job.
Throughout my career, I was made to believe that asking for feedback is critical
because that’s how we learn & grow. But according to research, feedback has little
impact on our performance. Over one-third of the time, it actually negatively impacts
performance.

2. For women in particular, feedback can be unhelpful. One study conducted by
professors Shelley Correll & Caroline Simard at Standard University analyzed over
200 performance reviews across three high-tech companies & a professional
services firm. It found that, compared to men, women received feedback that was
less likely to be tied to business outcomes & was also more vague & challenging to
implement.
Why is feedback so ineffective? The main reason is because — true to its
name — it is backward-looking. When someone gives you feedback, they’re
anchoring themselves in the bygones & reflecting on your past behavior (the annual
performance appraisal, the sales quarter that just passed, or the presentation you
wrapped up). This makes it harder for you to focus on the future, because all you’ll
hear about is how you screwed up or what didn’t go right, not how you should
perform going forward. For this reason, feedback tends to be less actionable.
Research from Harvard Business School shows how this plays out. In one study,
200 people were asked to provide input on a job application for a tutoring position.
Participants had to either provide feedback or advice on the letter. Those who were
asked to give feedback tended to give vague comments along with general praise,
such as, “the applicant seems to meet most of the requirements.” In contrast, those
who were asked to provide advice were more critical & actionable in their comments.
For example, one reviewer suggested that the applicant include details about their
tutoring style & why they adopted it, in addition to including their ultimate end goal for
the education of a 7-year-old. Specifically, advice-givers suggested 34% more
ways to improve the application & 56% more ways to improve in general.
The researchers posited that advice-giving leads one to think about future
actions that the person in need of guidance could take. As such, when asked
to give advice, people are more likely to think critically & specifically about
strategies the person could use to improve.
Of course, when you’re in the early stages of your career, it’s good to know where
you went wrong or what’s lacking in your performance. But even more important is
knowing how to make it better & improve. So focus on asking for advice instead of
asking for feedback.
To get the best advice possible, use these four tips:
Be specific in the type of advice you are seeking.
When asking for advice, specifying the category of help you want will make it more
useful. For example, are you looking for a sounding board for an idea? Methods to
improve your communication skills? Or alternative solutions to a problem you’re
facing?
Ask yourself, “What will really help me get better at [problem]?” For example, instead
of asking, “What do you think of my revenue numbers from last quarter?” you could
say, “So far, I’ve tried [a] & [b] but I haven’t been able to meet my goal. How would
you have gone about doing this?”

3. Show them the way.
If you ask people to think about what could help you in the future, the advice you will
receive will be more specific & actionable. For example, you could make the ask
specific, such as, “What could I change about my presentation skills to deliver a
more powerful presentation next time?” or “Could you give me a few tips to make my
slides more appealing?” Alternatively, you could try asking more broadly framed (yet,
still future-oriented) questions. Instead of saying, ““How did you think it went today?”
you could ask, “What could I do better next time?” & receive useful advice that can
help you think in new ways & move forward instead of rehashing the past.
Give a little nudge.
If someone gives you vague feedback such as “You did great” or “You could do
better,” don’t just stop the conversation there. Prod further & extract the advice you
need. You could say, “What specifically did I do well?” or “What is one thing I can do
better next time?” Probing will ensure the conversation is useful & one that actually
helps you improve in the future.
Ask the right person.
When you’re looking for solid feedback, you may be tempted to seek multiple points
of view (the more the better, right?). But research has found that receiving too many
pieces of different advice often makes us more likely to ignore it. The opinions you
receive could be conflicting & could leave you confused. If your advice-giver realizes
that you’re reaching out to many people, they may also be hesitant to give you real,
actionable feedback because they aren’t sure if you’ll take it to heart over someone
else’s words of wisdom.
Think hard about the problem or topic you are seeking feedback on & consider who
is best placed to give you advice on it. Most people tend to seek guidance from
people they’re close to or feel comfortable with. But those people may not have the
best knowledge about the subject. If you’re looking for feedback on your resume, you
should probably reach out to your career counselor, a certified resume writer, or
someone in a recruiting role instead of a family member or friend. And don’t say,
“How does my resume look?” Instead, try, “Do you think my resume accurately
captures my skills & experience?”
Good advice can be transformative, especially when you’re just starting out or have
little experience. So, the next time you’re in need of advice, follow these suggestions
to get feedback that actually works.
Dr Amantha Imber is the author of Time Wise, the founder of behavioural science
consultancy Inventium & the host of How I Work, a podcast about the habits & rituals of the
world’s most successful people.