The document presents mythological origin stories for several social media platforms: - Twitter is a magical bird trapped in the website by a jealous god, and will one day be freed. - Tumblr is described as a bottomless pit or reservoir that feeds content to the rest of the internet. - Facebook profiles are said to be immortal entities that can exist without physical bodies. - Pinterest was created by four yelling gods. - Snapchat began as an attempt to make an infinite void more interesting by creating disappearing content.

1. Twitter: Twit
ter is a
beautiful,
magical bird
trapped in the
body of a Web
site by a
jealous
underworld
demigod.
The billion
billionth time
that Twitter is
refreshed,the
bird will
return to her
original form
and ascend to
the sky, borne
aloft by a
billionbillion
joules of
subtweets.

3. She will then
fly back to her
nest and roost,
for she has
been deprived
of contact with
her egg for
eleven years.
In a cruel
symbolic
gesture, “egg”
icons on
Twitter long
stood for
absence or
anonymity.
The “faceless
man” icon that
recently
replaced the
egg is further
cruelty,
symbolicof
not doing
anything
about a toxic
user base.

4. Tumblr: Tum
blr is a
bottomless pit,
neither good
nor evil. In
one version of
the myth,
Tumblris a
reservoir of
original
unfinished
creation. The
rest of the
Internet is
irrigated by
rivers and
streams of
human
attention that
flow from
Tumblr.

6. Some chthonic
texts written
during the
early-to-mid
aughts
characterize
Tumblras a
portal to the
underworld.
On the upside,
the realm
contains an
archive of
excellent artsy
porn madeby
four young
Australians
who share the
account
onlinecutie.
Facebook: In
a terms-and-
conditions
page
recovered and
translated in
2011, an

7. encrypted sub-
footnote
characterizes
each Facebook
profile as an
immortal,
non-corporeal
entity,
transcending
what many
Western and
Eastern
mythologies
identify as the
metaphysical
self. close dialog
To get more of the latest
stories from The New Yorker,

9. In some
variants of the
myth, that
profile is given
a higher
spiritual value
than the life of
its owner.
Some obscure
texts on the
subject
contain
anecdotes of
individuals
whosesouls
have ascended
to Heaven
after their
Facebook
profiles, only
to find their
spots already
occupied.
Pinterest: Pi
nterest,
according to
one Sumerian

10. ur-narrative,
was created by
a clique of four
disconsolate,
yelling gods
whosevoices
have been
likened by
modern
scholars to
that of Billy
Eichner.

12. Snapchat: O
ne recorded
history of
Snapchat’s
origins
describes “a
void whose
voidness was
not fun
enough.”
Several
demigodswho
usually
resented
collaboration
but decided to
go with it this
one time came
up with a
solution:
instead of just
a plain, vanilla
void, an
infinite stream
of meaning-
objects would
be infinitely

13. created and
extinguished.

15. The demigods
decided that
this would be
much more
interesting—
with the entire
world as
audience,this
procession
would make
the deep,
same-y void
less same-y,
more
different-y.
And would
lose a bunch of
money in the
process.
…………………………………………………
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