motherhood. first born, first love.

1. Memories
By: Mariel Charisse O. Beltran
Our first night at the hospital, you slept on your crib while I watch you sleep so soundly. You looked like
an angel. You didn’t cry at all, you only cried once when you were being cleaned by the doctor. That
moment my Zachary Skye my world change. That very moment when I saw you, it was love at first sight.
You were so beautiful, so beautiful for a little boy.
There are so many memories of the first month that I wish I could bottle up and keep fresh forever. I
keep a small notebook with the everyday writings of what we did that day. I even write you short letters
for you to read when you grow up.
Looking at your old photos made me realize what a big change we have now. You think on your own
now, you choose what to wear and what to eat. You know what you want and you are specific with what
you like.
I could always remember you cry every time we gave you a bath. You seriously do. You scream and
scream as if we were torturing you each time we gave you a bath. That made me feels terrible when we
have to give you a bath all the time.
You gave me back pains before because you were a huge baby. You were so big that we have to put you
down always on you crib. Sometimes you want to be carried. You want to feel my embrace and I love
you so much for that. I was given the responsibility to be your mother and I felt the full weight of it in
that moment. You were 9 lbs and 3 ounces, roughly the weight of the world.
Speaking of love, it’s important you understand my love for you. It’s the kind of love that burns up from
my chest until it catches in my throat. It stays there bound and intrusive.
I love spending time with you, just you and me alone. I love you watch you play by your own, just
watching you grow made me so happy.
I love holding your hands and watch you drift off to slumber land. You were quite the sleep fighter. You
always fight falling asleep so we have to cuddle and sway you just to keep you calm down. You often
make little signs that melt my heart, and while you sleep I give you dozens of kisses on your forehead
and cheeks. We are so in love with you and we are so grateful for you presence in our lives.
I want you to remember that you have me the happiest person in the whole world. We may fight a lot
now that you are older but I have love so much, I will always and forever will love you. You are just like
me so stubborn and that makes you and me so alike.
We will have our fights but you know, Mommy will always forgive. I may not be the best at my temper
but I am trying my best to overcome my temper. I am still learning to control my temper. Forgive me if I
shout at you directly.

2. You are a good brother to your younger sister and that makes my heart so full. You two fight a lot. Not a
day that you don’t fight but I know when you grow older you will cherish each other. I love you both and
I feel the same way for you both. We just fight all the time because you are stubborn like me and your
Dad.
I love you and my love for you is forever.