George Bush's approval ratings are falling as the economy declines. The author suggests Bush start another war to boost his popularity and chances of re-election. Two potential targets are suggested: 1) Iraq and Saddam Hussein again or 2) Libya and Muammar al-Gaddafi. Starting a war would allow Bush to appear strong and rally support, as well as distract from domestic issues, according to the author.

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nores is that gross-roots ac- weighty matters as taxes, the 1. A Saddam Replay.
tivity is, let’s face it, inher- budget, interest rates, and civil Saddam is still there; every-
ently plodding and boring. And rights. Open internecine war- thing is in place; he’s already
that therefore, it will never get fare has broken out over the been established Another
off the ground, unless it is universally hated John Hitler, indeed Worse Than
sparked, and vivified, and Sununu. Things are spinning Hitler. So you can send the
energized by high-level, pref- out of control. And the key bombs and missiles again
erably presidential, political election is coming up. What to easily. The media just go back
campaigns. What we need to do? What to do? into their accustomed act. Of
build a new paleo movement, Why, of course, George. course, there is a little hitch:
particularly at this stage, is a Lot’s face it: The time has cranking up an Operation
presidential candidate, some- come for ANOTHER WAR! Desert Storm, II: The Sequel,
one whom all wings of anti- War! You shine might remind ev-
Establishment rightists can there, George; eryone that the
get behind, with enthusiasm. you can get the first Glorious
And while Howard Phillips’ fl,ags a wavin’, Victory was a bit
Taxpayers Party may eventu- and the missiles of a botch. How
ally play an important role, at a flyin’. You can many sequels
this point we can simply say pick name Op- can you get
that the Taxpayer Party has erations and away with, with-
not yet been fully formed and dragoon the me- out looking fool-
that right now he has no presi- dia again. You ish?
dential candidate. The arena can refurbish 2. The Libyan
of action now is to find some- your civil rights Card. Ahh, Libya!
one to lead a people’s revolu- image with Gen- You have now
tion against the crumbling eral Colin Powell brought the Lib-
George Bush in the New at your side, yan hit men back
Hampshire and other Repub- you can bring into the public
lican presidential primaries- Stormin’ Norman consciousness,
and to take that fight on to the out of retirement indicting them
Republican convention, hop- to look satisfy- for that Pan
ing at most to win in ’92, and ingly military on Am explosion in
at the least to build a powerful TV. You can be- Scotland. If ne-
movement for ‘96, and be- devil your en- cessary, you
yond. 0 emies, and send your poll can revive the scare about
ratings up to 90 percent again. the “four bearded Libyan hit
It’s Time for a So all you need is an Enemy, men” who had penetrated the
and you can get another swift, United States to assassinate
War! massive, gook-destroying, President Reagan. Remem-
by M.N.R. feel-good-about-America vic- ber that one? Also, you have
Suddenly, everyone tory, maximizing the glow of already established Colonel
agrees that George Bush is glory for Election Day. So you Khadaffy as the previous
mired in deep doo-doo. Un- need an Enemy, another Stalin Hitler, and a nutty one at that.
happy and inattentive at best or preferably another Hitler, And it wouldn’t take much to
about domestic affairs, he who seems able to provide a bomb Libya back to the Stone
finds the economy bogged suitable hate object and Age, since it’s pretty much
down in an increasingly grim punching bag for another there already. Of course, our
recession, and he waffles in century or so. So let’s go down bombers already did murder
abject confusion about such the list. the Colonel’s little baby, so
14 January1992
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