The narrator spends the day with a championship cup from their sports team. They dream about celebrating more victories together. The next day, the cup accompanies the narrator to work and socializes with coworkers, fueling up on coffee and sandwiches. After a full day, the cup relaxes at home with beers and exercise before cleaning up and drinking more that evening.

1. My Day with the SBS
Championship Cup

2. After two victories, and a
long celebration at
Applebee’s, it was time
for bed.
I dreamt about all the fun
activities that the Cup and
I could do tomorrow
morning. Unfortunately, I
had to go to work.
Luckily, the Cup wanted
to come with me.

3. After 12 people consumed
adult beverages from the
Cup, it headed right to the
shower in the morning.
We all can agree that victory
tasted delicious.

4. The breakfast of
champions…well, it’s
not Wheaties. But
close, maybe. Honey
Bunches of Oats with
Almond Clusters. We
are ready to go

5. It’s a little known fact that
Cups have teeth. Only a
small percentage of them
take proper care of their
teeth. Let’s just say I was
very impressed at the
Cup’s personal hygiene.

6. The Cup is a true
professional, making
sure to iron its shirt
prior to heading out to
the client. Most Cups
would have called in
sick today.

7. It’s off to work we go.
The Cup makes sure
to fasten his seat belt.
We’ve got to defend
our title next season,
so we’ll be cautious.

8. We’ve arrived at
Piantedosi, so the
Cup boots up the
laptop. If we can get
our work done, we’ll
be leaving nice and
early today.

9. The Intern shows up and is
eager to take a picture
with the Cup. The Cup,
however, does not smile,
as the intern has yet to
even take his computer
out of his bag.
Apparently leaving at 3 is
less of an incentive when
you get paid hourly.

10. The Cup, like the rest of
America, runs on
Dunkin. However, he
had to get his own as
the Intern was
useless and didn’t go
on the coffee run.
Who the eff does he
think he is?

11. After fueling up on the iced
coffee, the Cup gets
ready to do some
participant data testing.
For some reason, the
Cup writes down SSN’s
on a piece of paper and
puts them in his pocket.

12. The Cup takes a break
to learn about how
bread was made back
in the day. Look at
how ripped those
guys were. We are
both so jealous.

13. Cipolle just showed up
around 10:30. The Cup
offers him a shoulder
massage, after pitching
(and winning) both games
of the double header.
I really wish Mark would do
some work, so I can get
out by 3.

14. Very good, Mark. The
Cup helps Cipolle
sign off on a
workpaper. At least
someone is on my
side here.

15. Lunch time. My favorite
time of the day. We
grab a 24” French
Loaf fresh off the line
and top it with fresh
cold cuts and
provolone from
Dom’s. Now that’s an
effing sandwich.

16. That was a good effing
sandwich. If only all
of our clients made
such delicious (and
well-priced) bread.

17. We’ve made it! It’s 3:15
and the Intern and
Cipolle get their act
together, so we can
go home. The Cup
shuts down the laptop
and is eager to enjoy
a few cold brews on
such a hot day.

18. The Cup was lying.
Before I got all the
way in the front door,
he was cracking open
a beer.
I proceeded to make a
fat joke, and boy did
he show me.

19. The Cup pounds his
beer and hops on the
bike for a quick 15
mile ride. In my face.
Only 364 days until the
next championship
game.

20. The Cup towels off after
burning a few calories.
Don’t worry, he’ll get
them all back later tonite.
He also tells me that I’m an
awful photographer and
that I should get a real
camera instead of using
my phone.

21. Back to the shower.
The Cup uses
Placenta Shampoo
with Vitamin E.
Strange, considering
it has no hair.

22. The Cup wastes no time
heading back to the
booze. This time it’s
a 1.5L bottle of
Sauvignon Blanc.
The Cup can really hold
his liquor.
Impressive.

23. Apparently, the Cup
was quite offended by
the fat joke. All he
ate was a salad.
Unless he was just
saving room for a few
more drinks.

24. Yup…
I’m not sure if this is
normal, or if Clay
Buckholz has
anything to do with it.

25. And it looks like the
night is over.
Believe me, it wasn’t
pretty. Sort of like
Manny in leftfield.