Dr. DeFocus, a villain, caused a story written by Billy Miller to go out of control by filling his mind with too many distracting ideas. Billy's story for a school assignment about his summer vacation grew out of control as he included every detail he could remember. The excess of unnecessary details caused the story to explode and form a paper creature monster. The paper creature began terrorizing the city, leading the police to try and capture it so the situation could be resolved. The story emphasizes the importance of staying focused on the main points of a story and avoiding excessive, irrelevant details when writing.

1. Keepin
g
Your Focus

2. Mary Seidler
ECEL 3220
Dr. Kitty Brandt
UCM
Mary Seidler
ECEL 3220
Dr. Kitty Brandt
UCM
6+1 Trait:
Ideas

3. Boy am I glad you super writers are here today.
Our arch enemy, Dr. DeFocus
was at it again, and a story here in town went
bonkers.
First, we’re going to HQ to get caught up on
DeFocus. Second we’ll watch some footage
that we recovered from the scene.

4. Dr. DeFocusDr. DeFocus
Villain File # 352QZA$Villain File # 352QZA$
•Get’s writers distracted with
details that do not pertain to the
story at hand.
•Gets writers on bunny trails
•Fills the minds of writers with
too many good ideas.
•Causes stories to go
overboard and create paper
creatures that take over
classrooms.
•Get’s writers distracted with
details that do not pertain to the
story at hand.
•Gets writers on bunny trails
•Fills the minds of writers with
too many good ideas.
•Causes stories to go
overboard and create paper
creatures that take over
classrooms.

5. I’m supposed to
write about my trip
to grandma’s.
Hmmm…that was a
good trip.
I’m supposed to
write about my trip
to grandma’s.
Hmmm…that was a
good trip.
Something’s weird…
My mind is starting to
be filled with way
too many ideas!!
Something’s weird…
My mind is starting to
be filled with way
too many ideas!!

6. So many ideas,
and I don’t want
to let them go! I’ll
just write down
every detail so
Mrs. Jones knows
all about the trip!
Helped
grandma
with the
APPLE
PIE
Disneylan
d,
Beaches,
H
otels,
pools
Ate so
much
food
4th
of July BBQ
with Uncle Rick!
It was so much
fun!
Went to
Texas,
California,,
New York,
Vermont,
D.C.,
Canada,
Oregon
Woke up
and
watched
TV then I
played
with the
kids next
door
Climbed
every
TREE

7. Whoa super writers. See what I
mean? Looks like the work of
“One Eyed Kitty.” That’s Dr.
DeFocuses hunchcat. When it
comes to writing a story, we
need to keep it simple and to
the point. Otherwise, stories can
take on a life of their own.

8. Yah, supa dude. As a super writer, you
will need to stay focused on the main
idea from beginning to end. Otherwise,
you may loose your readers. Or even
worse, write a really, really long story dat
is boring. It becomes like a bad science
experiment.
Unfocused Paper Turns Into
Threat to City
Billy Miller was asked to write a page or less about what he did for
his summer vacation in 2007. Unfortunately, Billy hadn’t learned
yet to stick to the main points of his story, and the pages began to
accumulate. Witnesses say that the pages kept growing and growing.
Finally due to the lack of focus and the exorbitant amount of details,
the story exploded. The details only increased as Billy remembered
all the fun things he did at camp, at the beach, and all the food he
ate since school got over last May. One witness, who wishes to
remain anonymous, stated after the papers exploded this paper
creature immerged.
His teacher Miss Seidler, told Metro News, “I have never seen
anything like this before in my classroom. If he had just stuck to the
main points of his story, it would have been short and to the point.”
Unfortunately, the paper creature is now roam freely at all the places
in Kansas City, Missouri where Billy wrote about. Luckily for the
KCPD, they feel they can crack this case. Detective Mahoney had
this to say, “ we’ve seen this before in the metro. It won’t be fun to
have to follow this monster around though. Wish the kid wrote a
short story.”
KCPD states they should apprehend the creature shortly and
plan on dousing it with water since it’s made of paper.
METRO NEWS

9. Here is my formula for a super focused
paper:
1.Start with a focused topic
2.Brainstorm ideas on that topic
3.Pick ideas from your brainstorming
that are relevent to your topic.
4.Organize your story with a beginning,
middle, and ending sections

10.  Every super hero needs to be able to tell
how they saved the day. You never
know when you’ll be interviewed by the
press.
 What would happen if a super hero told
all the details and ideas of their day,
instead of just the main points of the
battle?

11. See what I mean? Super Chick could have
gone on and on. That would have been a long
story. She just needed to give the main points
of her story to the news reporter, because
that’s all they needed.
To be a super writer we have to stay
SUPER FOCUSED!
Let’s practice with some writing activities.
Good Luck super writers!