1. Marlowe’s guide to hardboiled crime

3. Make sure he drinks too much

4. Don’t make him too well off

7. Hero gets beaten up

8. Hero gets drunk

9. Hero gets propositioned

10. Hero gets beaten by cops

11. Hero gets drunk again

12. Loose dame turns out to be a criminal

13. Bad guy turns out to be not so bad

14. Hero gets beaten up and drinks

15. Case turns out to be extremely convoluted

17. Use plenty of similes and metaphors like “he nodded, as if his neck were afraid of the weight of his head”.

18. Make sure that novels are distinctive enough that bored library assistants can use them as a basis for a work related blog.