Living LargeAUGUST/SEPTEMBER 2016DEDICATED TO SUPPORTING PEOPLE IN RECOVERY
A PUBLICATION OF RECOVERY ALLIES OF WEST MICHIGAN
I come from a world of floating balloons and celebrations.
That’s the world of recovery. Many in this new recovery move-
ment come from a word of loss and grief on a level that is hard to
imagine. We have two messages but ultimately one goal. When
I laugh and celebrate in the face of your pain and suffering, the
feeling of unity is in the background if even felt at all. How do we
come together and use our momentum to make change? How do
we reach the ultimate goal of getting people the help they need?
I have learned much lately.
Many joined the cause in Washington D.C. in October of 2015.
I noticed t-shirt after t-shirt of loved ones that lost the battle.
I had a feeling that, from my recovery world perspective, that
does not invite people into recovery. We that survived addiction
know the dangers. When one of us dies we shake our selves off
and keep trying to make change (or keep using if still in active
addiction). I escaped death and as a result have profound grat-
itude. People that have survived cancer often report of having
new life meaning and purpose, and clarification of values, as a
result. Those in recovery have a very similar experience. It’s
hard to linger in the world of those that didn’t make it.
Again many of us gathered to rally in Lansing in June of 2016.
I went to put a face and a voice to recovery. They came to create
awareness of the pain and loss addiction causes. I also came to
bring awareness that focusing on one drug might have the result
of minimizing the danger of other drugs (there were more alco-
hol related deaths than opioid as recent as 2014 and marijuana
is a drug that is more potent than ever before and attitudes are
more accepting than ever before) They came to end the opioid
epidemic. I came to possibly reduce the size of the addicted pop-
ulation. But ultimately we were both there to increase access to
treatment.
I need to be careful where and when I celebrate. I need to feel
their pain. My hope is that they would celebrate with me, explain
their goals, and share their experiences and ask why it was dif-
ferent for me. Why did I survive while their loved one did not?
I think if we come to gather at events other than rallies, we
can listen, learn, and come together, we can avoid the very real
possibility of coming apart.
In an effort to do so Recovery Allies is in the process of plan-
ning a family group. We hope to offer a place where families can
come and share how they have made it as far as they have, offer
comfort on how to talk to a still using loved one, and offer re-
sources beyond the meeting. The day and time is on Tuesday’s
at 7:00 pm and location is about to be announced. Please keep
up with us on Facebook and check our website for the announce-
ment. We hope this is the first of many such opportunities to
come together and sit at the same table.
My name is Kevin McLaughlin and I am a person in long-
term recovery, which for me, means I have not had a drink
or used a drug in 12 years. That is how I prefer to introduce
myself today. There are over 25 million Americans in recov-
ery today in the United States. I am proud to be one of them.
Although not every one of us is able to say it publicly, if the
rest of us do, the health issue of addiction will come out of
the shadows and into the light. By standing up and saying “I
am in recovery”, I am sharing with the world that addiction
treatment can work, that people can get well, there is indeed
life after addiction.
It’s safe to say that there is a revolution happening in
America today. I am the executive director of Recovery Allies
of West Michigan. Recovery Allies is a grass roots organiza-
tion that is for the people, by the people. We are considered
a “peer run organization” and have 501 c3 nonprofit status.
We are funded by individuals and families affected by addic-
tion, by private philanthropy and grants issued by the state
for peer run organizations as well as by various other orga-
nizations that want to see change. We are one of over 105 in
the nation at this time and have taken many cues from those
that have been doing it for a long time. We Advocate, Cele-
brate and Educate . The national RCO Faces and Voices of
Recovery have this on their web site: “Recovery community
organizations (RCOs) are the heart and soul of the recovery
movement. In the last ten years, RCOs have proliferated
throughout the US. They are demonstrating leadership in
their towns, cities and states as well as on the national land-
scape. They have become major hubs for recovery-focused
policy advocacy activities, carrying out recovery-focused
community education and outreach programs, and becom-
ing players in systems change initiatives. Many are also pro-
viding peer-based recovery support services. RCOs share a
recovery vision, authenticity of voice and are independent,
serving as a bridge between diverse communities of recov-
ery, the addiction treatment community, governmental
agencies, the criminal justice system, the larger network of
health and human services providers and systems and the
broader recovery support resources of the extended commu-
nity.”
The vision we have includes opening a Recovery Commu-
nity Center (RCC). The center is much like a welcome cen-
ter at the state line. If you want to enter recovery, this is the
place to start. Phil Valentine of CCAR wrote a paper on this
topic and I want to quote him: “A Recovery Community Cen-
ter (RCC) is a recovery oriented sanctuary anchored in the
heart of the community. It exists to put a face on recovery,
to build recovery capital and to serve as a physical location
where CCAR (Recovery Allies) can organize the local recov-
ery community’s ability to care. A RCC is not a treatment
agency; it is not a 12-Step Club and it is not a drop-in center
although aspects of all of these are apparent. A RCC will de-
liver peer-to-peer recovery support services using its volun-
teer force as the deliverers of these services. A RCC is not a
place for people to simply hang out, watch TV, play cards
or pool and attend a daily meeting. We are not seeking to
duplicate existing resources. Yet, an RCC will host specific
social events. A RCC is not a drop-in center whose primary
purpose is to refer and help people get into treatment. Obvi-
ously, people in need of help will enter the RCC and we will
do everything in our power to assist them.”
One of our goals is to put faces and voices to recovery.
Can you imagine if 25 million Americans shared their story
of recovery? There is a quote in the movie “the Anonymous
People” by Senator Patrick Kennedy saying “we could end
this thing overnight!” We must wherever possible, share our
story of recovery.
Recovery Allies is what is known as a “Recovery Commu-
nity Organization” or an RCO for short. The field of addic-
tion can be divided into three parts, prevention, treatment
and recovery supports. All are critical and provide specific
needs to our community and to the individual. Recovery Al-
lies is one of many components to the “recovery supports”
piece.
Another of our goals is to bring pockets of or community
together that supports recovery. We know that many things
can threaten a person’s early recovery, everything from a
billboard advertising the latest beverage to a college cam-
pus. By finding and bringing together anyone and everything
that supports recovery we can create an environment that is
safe and increase the likelihood of recovery taking hold. We
know that those exposed to addiction are more likely to ex-
perience it. We also know that those exposed to recovery for
long periods are also more likely to experience it! There are
many forces at work here. This is a time of great and much
needed change. Our system of treatment and lack of long-
term supports is why most people aren’t able to recover the
first time around and why many never recover. We need to
address many elements of the problem and of the solution
at the same time. Some of those elements are the funding
for treatment and long term recovery supports, the language
we use and the stigma and shame behind why many of us
are reluctant to share our recovery with others. We will talk
more about all of this in future issues of Living Large. The
message I really want to send is that we know people have
a much better chance of sustainable recovery with help. The
term “recovery supports” is exactly what that is, support in
your recovery. We will accomplish this if we….. Advocate,
Celebrate and Educate!!!
CAN CELEBRATING AND SUFFERING
SIT AT THE SAME TABLE?
-FROM THE EDITOR-
Recovery
ALLIES
ADVOCATE • CELEBRATE • EDUCATE
recoveryallies.us
Kevin McLaughlin, Executive Director
Recovery Community Organization (RCO)
Phone: 616-262-8531• Email: kevin@recoveryallies.us
r a
Saturday, September 17th
SAVE THE DATE!
r p2016 RECOVERY PALOOZA
!
AUGUST/SEPTEMBER 2016  n Living Large2
KENT COUNTY RECOVERY HOUSING
COALITION - UNITED METHODIST
COMMUNITY HEALTH FIRST STEP
HOUSE – WOMAN’S HOME
Contact: Rose Simmons
Phone: 616-452-3226 Ext. 3037
MailingAddress: 904 SheldonAve. SE
E-mail: rsimmons@umchousegr.org
Website: umchousegr.org
HomeAddress: 922 SheldonAve. SE
HOUSE OF BLESSINGS –
WOMAN’S HOME
Contact: Shellie Cole-Mickens
Phone: 616-634-1972
Address: 938 Humbolt Street Southeast
Grand Rapids, MI 49507
918 Hall Street Southeast
Grand Rapids, MI 49507
NEXT PHASE – WOMAN’S HOME
Contact: Freddy Martin
Phone: 616-450-0686
Address: 368 SenoraAve Southeast
Grand Rapids, MI 49508
SACRED BEGINNINGS –
WOMAN’S HOMES
Contact: Leslie King
Phone: 616-890-8278
HomeAddress: 1165 Hermitage SE
Grand Rapids, MI 49506
1366 Elliott SE Grand Rapids, MI 49507
Website: www.sbtp.org
STEP FORWARD RECOVERY HOMES
Address: GrandvilleArea
Contact: Jo Ringnalda
Phone: 616-662-0881
THE COMFORT HOME
Address: South East Grand Rapids area
Contact: Ron and Laurie DeBose
Phone: 616-459-1930
MY SISTER’S HOUSE
(WOMEN IN RECOVERY)
Address:761 Bridge Street NW
Phone: 616-235-0223
RECOVERY ROAD LLC – MEN’S HOMES
ContactWomen: Brooke Bouman
Phone: 616-710-6956
ContactWomen: Scott Borough
Contact: 616-644-7956
MailingAddress: 961Alpine NW, GR MI
E-mail: marvin@recoveryroadllc.com
Website: recoveryroadllc.com
HomeAddress: 961Alpine NW, GR MI
3036 Perry SWWyoming MI 49519
NEXT PHASE RECOVERY –
MEN’S HOME
Contact: Freddy Martin
Phone: 616-450-0686
Address: 1145Alexander SE
Grand Rapids, MI 49507
FAITH CHARITY RECOVERY CENTER –
COUPLES HOME
Address: 2219 HortonAve SE
Grand Rapids, MI 49507
Contact: Dan or ZoeAnn
Phone: 616-247-4744 or 616-808-5106
TOUCHSTONE RECOVERY
Address: 1328 MaplerowAve NW
Contact: Kevin & Catherine O’Hare
Phone:616-250-8056 Cell:616-309-3091
PINE REST JELLEMA HOUSE
Contact: Derrick Jackson
Phone: 616-222-6861
MailingAddress: 523 Lyon Street
Grand Rapids, MI 49508
BUILDING MEN FOR LIFE
Address: Ottawa County
Contact: JeffVantrees
Phone: 616-795-9969
GRAND RECOVERY
Address: PO Box 1060, Grand Rapids, MI
Contact: Sanford Cummings
Phone: 616-516-6537
RECOVERY RESIDENCES
	 Women For Sobriety, Inc. is a non-profit
organization dedicated to helping women
overcome alcoholism and other addictions. It is,
in fact, the first national self-help program for
women alcoholics. Our “New Life” Program helps
achieve sobriety and sustain ongoing recovery.
WFS has been providing services to women
alcoholics since July, 1976. The WFS “New Life”
Program grew out of one woman’s search for
sobriety.
	 WFS self-help groups are found all across
this country and abroad. Based upon a Thirteen
Statement Program of positivity that encourages
emotional and spiritual growth, the “New Life”
Program has been extremely effective in helping
women overcome their addictions and embrace
a new positive lifestyle. For additional support,
subscribe to our monthly newsletter, Sobering
Thoughts, which is available free electronically
through our Email Updates Service.
Jean’s Bio
Dr. Jean Kirkpatrick couldn’t cope with
the fact that she was the first woman
to receive the Fels Fellowship award at
the University of Pennsylvania, so she
went out and got drunk. Fearing that a
mistake had been made and the funds
to write her doctoral dissertation would
be taken away, Dr. Kirkpatrick broke 3
years of sobriety with a drunk that lasted
13 years.
In Turnabout: New Help For The Woman Alcoholic, Jean
Kirkpatrick describes these years, the self-destruction and how
she finally was able to stop drinking.
With her own sobriety established by methods other than
the traditional AA Program, Dr. Kirkpatrick formed the
organization and Program, Women for Sobriety, Inc. in 1975
and has since devoted her life to helping women alcoholics.
WFS “New Life” Acceptance Program
1.	 I have a life-threatening problem that once had
	 me. I now take charge of my life and my disease.
I accept the responsibility.
2.	 Negative thoughts destroy only myself. My first
	 conscious sober act must be to remove
negativity from my life.
3.	 Happiness is a habit I will develop. Happiness is
created, not waited for.
4.	 Problems bother me only to the degree I permit
them to. I now better understand my problems
and do not permit problems to overwhelm me.
5.	 I am what I think. I am a capable, competent,
caring, compassionate woman.
6.	 Life can be ordinary or it can be great. Greatness
is mine by a conscious effort.
7.	 Love can change the course of my world. Caring
becomes all important.
8.	 The fundamental object of life is emotional
and spiritual growth. Daily I put my life into a
proper order, knowing which are the priorities.
9.	 The past is gone forever. No longer will I be
victimized by the past. I am a new person.
10. All love given returns. I will learn to know that
others love me.
11. Enthusiasm is my daily exercise. I treasure all
moments of my new life.
12. I am a competent woman and have much to
give life. This is what I am and I shall know it
always.
13. I am responsible for myself and for my actions.
I am in charge of my mind, my thoughts, and
my life.
To make the Program effective for you, arise each morning
fifteen minutes earlier than usual and go over the Thirteen
Affirmations. Then begin to think about each one by itself.
Take one Statement and use it consciously all day. At the end
of the day review the use of it and what effects it had that day
for you and your actions.
What is LifeRing?
LifeRing Secular Recovery is an absti-
nence-based, worldwide network of individu-
als seeking to live in recovery from addiction
to alcohol or to other non-medically indicated
drugs. In LifeRing, we offer each other peer-to-
peer support in ways that encourage personal
growth and continued learning through per-
sonal empowerment. Our approach is based
on developing, refining, and sharing our own
personal strategies for continued abstinence
and crafting a rewarding life in recovery. In
short, we are sober, secular, and self-directed.
Our Approach
• Teaches self-empowerment and self-reliance.
• Provides meetings that are educational, supportive and include open discussions.
• Encourages individuals to recover from addiction and alcohol abuse and live satisfying lives.
• Teaches techniques for self-directed change.
• Supports the scientifically informed use of psychological treatments and legally prescribed
psychiatric and addiction medication.
• Works on substance abuse, alcohol abuse, addiction and drug abuse as complex maladaptive
behaviors with possible physiological factors.
• Evolves as scientific knowledge in addiction recovery evolves.
• Differs from Alcoholics Anonymous, Narcotics Anonymous and other 12-step programs.
Self-Management for Addiction Recovery
Living Large  n  AUGUST/SEPTEMBER 2016 3
I can remember walking out of the doors of the
treatment center, just having finished an inpa-
tient stay. My recovery was being launched. I was
excited about the possibilities ahead; but at the
same time, I still had a lot of misgivings. What
was I about to experience? My inpatient stay now
seemed like the easier part – with the real chal-
lenge lying just ahead. Would I continue to grow
as a person and maintain my recovery?
My addiction had not only impacted me, but those
who were closest to me – my wife, my children.
My hope was that we could engage in recovery as a
family, together. This desire was being fanned by
the process of self-evaluation and commitment to
personal growth that I had entered. I was hungry
for more depth in my personal relationships, and I
wanted to experience this depth first at home. Al-
most instantly, however, barriers to my hope for
mutual recovery began to erect themselves.
Some family and friends began to distance them-
selves. I soon discovered that my choice for
growth in recovery did not mean that those who
I loved would also be willing to make that choice
for themselves. As a result, I began to watch close
friendships become increasingly estranged. The
more I expressed my new found convictions, the
more distancing I seemed to experience. When
this happens with a friend, that’s one thing; when
it happens with your spouse, it’s another. Within
six (6) months of leaving inpatient treatment – and
while still going through outpatient counseling – I
found myself staring at divorce. Till this day, I still
have the vivid memories and feelings of my heart
being torn apart by the weight of the realization of
the uphill battle to recovery I was facing.
My decision to seek a divorce ultimately necessi-
tated a lengthy evaluation by a trained counselor
at the Friend of the Court. This brought to light
my recent inpatient treatment, transitional hous-
ing stay, and subsequent recovery goals and plans.
With my spouse strictly opposed to joint custody,
outside lawyers got involved. I can remember
standing before the Referee at the Friend of the
Court with the opposing lawyer. He didn’t refer
to me as Mr. Masi, a father, or even “the plaintiff”.
Rather I was only referred to as “the Addict”. In
less than five minutes, I watched the court Ref-
eree write the words “Drug Addict” on a piece
of paper in front of him. Without my counsel so
much as having an opportunity for rebuttal, it was
ruled that I could only see my children every other
weekend – supervised, and without overnights.
I was devastated.
Thank God that through treatment, I was equipped
with new coping skills, abilities and beliefs that al-
lowed me to continue the path of recovery. While
it felt like I had lost my kids, I didn’t want to com-
pound this loss by also losing my recovery. Thus,
I determined not to allow old habits to creep in
– habits that I knew would contribute to making
things worse. Instead, I would work to uncover
the values that I needed so much to reinforce my
commitment to recovery. I wouldn’t allow the
stigma of addiction or the disappointments of
my relationships to define who I was or would be.
Rather, I would define me; the new me.
In terms of stigma, I realize today that there is
likely no other physical or psychiatric condition
more associated with social disapproval and dis-
crimination than addiction. This is the case even
though over 25 million Americans (10% of the US
population) are identified as being in recovery, and
another estimated 23.1 million Americans (9% of
the US population) meet the criteria for treatment
related to drugs or alcohol. Sadly, only 2.5 million
people seek treatment each year.
Note that for someone in early recovery, things
may seem to get worse before they get better. For
instance, adding to the difficulty of my divorce,
custody battle for my kids, and being stigma-
tized as “the Addict”, I also had to weather: being
placed under surveillance by a private investigator
hired by my spouses family; having to work long
hours on a low paying job in order to pay for my
outpatient treatment and legal fees; and strug-
gling to provide financial support for my children.
But once again, the tools and support I received
from the recovery community were an invaluable
blessing – providing the help I needed when it was
needed most. And it did indeed get better. Today
my children are not only in my life, they’re happy
to say their dad is in recovery!
Today, my recovery journey continues to un-
fold. Thankfully, while I still face barriers to
continued recovery, they are not as difficult to
surmount as those I faced earlier in my experi-
ence. But the one barrier that remains as strong
as ever is the stigma associated with addiction.
Recognizing the significant challenges many peo-
ple in recovery face, each one of us has a shared
responsibility to become a “safe place” – not
becoming one more barrier or obstacle in the
way. More than just helping each other initi-
ate recovery, we must become a community that
also welcomes and celebrates those in recovery.
Scott Masi
Referral and Outreach Specialist
Brighton Center for Recovery.
MAY BREAK MY BONES BUTWORDS
WILL NEVER HURT ME!
the word
ADDICT
the word
ABUSE
Recovery Is Already Difficult – No Need to Add Stigma
AUGUST/SEPTEMBER 2016  n Living Large4
“Substance Abuse”Is a Label
We Should All Reject
“Abuse” is an ugly word. “Child abuse,” “sexual abuse,” “physical abuse,”
“emotional abuse,” “domestic abuse.” And then, of course, there’s “substance
abuse.”
But one of those things is not like the others: In all of the other types of
abuse, there is a perpetrator who is harming a victim. In substance abuse,
however, it makes no sense to argue that the victim is the poor innocent line
of methamphetamine or glass of Chardonnay. The damage done—both by
the problem and by the term—is focused primarily on substance users them-
selves. The label is far from innocuous, and I vote that we retire it.
There is clear evidence that the phrases "substance abuse" and "substance
abuser" harm, as well as disparage, people with addiction. It's time to ditch
these terms.
This was originally posted on Substance.com in March of 2014. Maia Szala-
vitz is one of the nation’s leading neuroscience and addiction journalists, and
a columnist at Substance.com. and has written three books her latest is The
Unbroken Brain
Why I’m Breaking UpWith
TheWord “Addict”
Meghan Ralston - Harm Reduction Manager, Drug Policy Alliance
“Addict’” is one of those words that so many of us use, largely without paus-
ing to wonder if we should. We just take for granted that it’s totally OK to de-
scribe a human being with one word, “addict” — a word with overwhelmingly
negative connotations to many people.
We don’t really do that for other challenging qualities that can have a serious
impact on people’s lives. We don’t say, “my mother, the blind,” or “my broth-
er, the bipolar.” We don’t say, “my best friend, the epileptic,” or “my nephew,
the leukemia.”
We don’t do that because we intuitively understand how odd it would sound,
and how disrespectful and insensitive it would be. We don’t ascribe a diffi-
cult state as the full sum of a person’s identity and humanity. Maia Szalavitz
eloquently expressed similar frustration with terms like “substance abuser”
in her recent piece at substance.com.
When we do feel the need to reference a state of disability, challenge or dis-
ease when describing a human being, we say something like, “my mother has
cancer,” or “my nephew has leukemia.” And we would almost certainly nev-
er let that be the only thing said about that person, something that defined
them. We do not say or suggest that a person is their challenge. We remem-
ber that they are a person first, then if appropriate indicate their challenge as
one factor of their existence.
Why can’t we be that intelligently sensitive with people struggling with
drugs?
For many people, myself included, the word “addict” is incredibly harmful
and offensive. You do not have my permission to call me an addict. You can
of course refer to yourself as an addict,
if you wish, but please do not re-
fer to everyone physically or
psychologically depen-
dent on drugs as “an
addict.”
The sense of fear,
loathing, other-
ness and “less
than” created
by that word far
outweighs any
benefits of using
linguistic short-
hand to quickly
describe a person.
“Addict” is a word
so singularly loaded
with stigma and con-
tempt that it’s some-
what appalling that we
continue to let it be used so
easily and indiscriminately.
continued
Even in a chaotic stage of drug use, we are not “other.” We are women, we
are someone’s daughter, we continue to laugh, we continue to like jazz and
cheeseburgers and comfy pajamas. We cry, we get so lonely, we hate sitting
in traffic. Addiction can be wretched, no question, but we do not ever stop
being human beings, even during the times in our lives when we are depen-
dent on drugs.
I may be in the fight of my life with drugs, but I am not the drugs that I take.
I am a fighter, a survivor — I am never merely “an addict.” Please do not de-
stroy the totality of who I am by reducing me to that one word. We retain our
full humanity despite our challenges, particularly when our challenges are
much deeper than our attention-grabbing drug use might suggest.
My days of chaotic substance abuse are long behind me. I am not “an addict”
now, and I wasn’t “an addict” then. I’m just a person, who had a period of
difficulty, pain and challenge. I battled, I failed, I tried again — just like most
people.
Why not try using any of the following as alternatives to calling someone “an
addict”: person dependent on drugs; people struggling with drugs; person
in recovery from addiction. The use of person-centric language may seem
inconsequential, but I assure you, it is not. It is vitally important to scores of
people, most of whom you’ve never met and never will. They are the people
who, in the eyes of the world, are lumped into that “other” category you’ve
created for them by calling them “an addict.”
They don’t want to be there anymore. I’m hoping to tell their story with this
blog post. We’ve been silent too long. We’ve had enough. Please — put our
humanity first.
Please stop using the word “addict.”
This piece first appeared on the Drug Policy Alliance blog.
ADDICT
ABUSE
Living Large  n  AUGUST/SEPTEMBER 2016 5
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com
43.	Candace Plattor. M.A., http://candaceplattor.com/blog/
44.	I’m Just F.I.N.E., http://fine-anon.blogspot.com
45.	Leaving AA, http://leavingaa.com/
46.	Recovery Reflections, http://www.recoveryreflections.com
47.	The Immortal Alcoholic, http://www.immortalalcoholic.blogspot.
com
48.	Reach Out Recovery, http://reachoutrecovery.com
49.	All About Addiction, http://www.allaboutaddiction.com
50.	International Quit and Recovery Registry, https://quitandrecov-
ery.org/
51.	 Sandy Swenson, http://www.sandyswenson.com/blog/
52.	Life Corked, http://lifecorked.com/
53.	Addiction Journal, http://addictionjournal.net
54.	Jody Lamb.com, http://www.jodylamb.com
55.	The Spirit of Recovery, http://thespiritofrecovery.net/
56.	Klen + Sobr, http://www.sincerightnow.com/blogs
57.	Recovery Health Care, http://recoveryhealthcare.me
58.	My Life as 3D, http://mylifeas3d.blogspot.com
59.	Recovery Review, http://recoveryreview.net
60.	Adam Sledd, http://adamsledd.com/blog/
61.	Waismann Method, https://www.rapiddetox.com/resources/
blog/
62.	Living in the Shadows in Prince Edward Island, http://shadows-
inpei.blogspot.ca/
63.	Bye Bye Beer, http://byebyebeer.wordpress.com
64.	Essentials of Recovery, http://www.essentialsofrecovery.com/
65.	An Addict in Our Son’s Bedroom, http://parentsofanaddict.blog-
spot.com
66.	Forever Falling Short, http://www.foreverfallingshort.com.au/
67.	Palo Recovery, http://www.palorecovery.com/blog-insights/
68.	Stay Close Blog, http://libbycataldi.com/blog
69.	The Sober World, http://www.thesoberworld.com
70.	Drinking to Distraction, http://drinkingtodistraction.com
71.	 Jagged Little Edges, http://jaggedlittleedges.com/
72.	She is Perfectly Imperfect, http://sheisperfectlyimperfect.com/
73.	Yoga and Recovery, http://yoga-recovery.blogspot.com
74.	Barbara Cofer Stoefen, http://www.barbaracoferstoefen.com/
75.	The Drug Class Blog, http://drugclass.ca
75 AMAZING RECOVERY BLOGS
11 AMAZING RECOVERY PODCASTS
1.	 Smart Recovery and Special Event Podcasts, http://smartrecov-
ery.libsyn.com/webinar-act-smart
2.	 Recovery 101, http://recovery101.podomatic.com/
3.	 Addicted to Addicts, http://webtalkradio.net/internet-talk-radio/
addicted-to-addicts-survival-101/
4.	 Growing Up Chaotic, http://growingupchaotic.com/
5.	 The Bubble Hour, http://www.thebubblehour.com/
6.	 100 Pedals, http://www.100pedals.com/category/addiction-con-
versation-podcast/
7.	 Sober Conversations, http://recoveryhealthcare.me/category/so-
ber-conversations/
8.	 Recovered Podcast, http://recoveredcast.blogspot.com/
9.	 Addiction Recovery Radio, http://www.addictionrecoveryradio.
com/podcast/
10.	The Recovery Show, http://therecoveryshow.com/
11.	 Addiction and Recovery Podcast, http://paulgarrigan.podbean.
com/
AUGUST/SEPTEMBER 2016  n Living Large6
866.852.4001
pinerest.org/addiction-services
Recovery is Possible
Pine Rest offers a full continuum of addiction services. With
one call, we can guide you through the process of inquiry,
assessment and admission to the most appropriate level of
care. We will assist you with understanding your insurance
benefit or what other sources of funding might be available,
and we’ll qualify you or your loved one for treatment.
Our commitment is to treat you and your family with a
welcoming heart, provide compassion and understanding in
time of need and offer hope for recovery through excellent
care.
• Individual Outpatient Therapy at 14 licensed locations
• Intensive Outpatient Therapy (IOP) in Grand Rapids and
Kalamazoo
• Outpatient Opioid Detoxification
• Residential Detoxification
• Residential Addiction Services
• Short-Term Residential Services
• Transitional Recovery Housing
• Integrated Substance Use/Psychiatric Inpatient Services
• Partial Hospitalization Program
• Relapse Prevention Groups
• Intervention and Family Services
Books:
Slaying the Dragon: Bill White
The Art of Happiness: Dali Lama
The Spirituality of Imperfection: Earnest Kurtz
The Book Of Alcoholics Anonymous
The Road Less Traveled: M. Scott Peck
My Stroke of Insight: Jill Bolt Taylor
Secret of the Ages: Robert Caulier
Think and Grow Rich: Napoleon Hill
Boundaries:Townsend and Cloud
The Brain Mechanic: Spencer Lord
The Success Principles: Chicken Soup Dude
Proof of Heaven: Eben Alexander
Brain Wars – Mario Beauregard
Adult Children of Alcoholics: Dr. Janet G.Woititz
Facing Codependence: Pia Melody
The Intimacy Factor: Pia Melody
Facing Love Addiction: Pia Melody
Getting the Love You Want: Harville Hendrix
And Anything Written By…
Anne Lamott, Martin Luther King Jr.,
Bill Wilson or Bill White
Movies & TV Shows:
The Anonymous People
Elementary on CBS
Saving Mr Banks
Running From Crazy
Lindsy
All About Ann
28 Days
Paying it Forward
My Name Is Bill W
The Days Of Wine And Roses
When A Man Loves A Woman
When Love Is Not Enough –The LoisWilson Story
The Basketball Diaries
Clean And Sober
The Lost Weekend
Sober Entertainment:
Books,Movies & TV Shows to Check Out
Living Large  n  AUGUST/SEPTEMBER 2016 7
SUNDAY
9:30AM	 Balcony 	 Sunday Morning Group
9:30AM	 1		 ExpectA Miracle
9:30AM	 2		 Al-Anon SunA.M.
9:30AM	 3		 Breakfast Group - C
n  No Noon Meeting On Sundays
2:00PM 	 A		 Sunday Serenity Group
3:30PM	 A		 Sun Big Book Study
5:30PM 	 Balcony		 Friendship Group - C
7:00PM 	 2		 Al-Anon Book Study
7:00PM	 C		ACOA
8:00PM 	 Balcony		 Young People’sAA
8:00PM 	 C		 Sun Night Beginners Group
8:00PM 	 5		 12&12
MONDAY
9:00AM	 A		 Eyeopener Group
9:00AM	 1		 Breathe Easy
9:00AM	 2		 Al-Anon Steps to Serenity
11:00AM	 C		 DoubleTrouble (Mixed Recovery)
Noon	 Balcony		 Noon Balcony Group
Noon	 A		 AA Lunch Group - C
Noon	 B		 NA-Keep Coming Back
Noon 	 1 		 Surrender Group
Noon	 3		 No First Drink
Noon	 4		 Noon Promises Group
Noon 	 5		 Women’s Stag -AA
5:30PM 	 Balcony		 Friendship Group - C
5:30PM	 C		 Free Pizza Group
8:00PM	 A		 Monday NiteAA
8:00PM	 Balcony		 Life Club Group (Mens) - C
8:00PM 	 3		 NA Open to Change
TUESDAY
9:00AM	 A		 Eyeopener Group
9:00AM	 1		 Breathe Easy
Noon	 Balcony		 Noon Balcony Group
Noon	 A		 AA Group Issues &Tuesday
Noon 	 C		 AA Beginners Group - C
Noon	 1		 Surrender Group
Noon 	 2		 Al-Anon
Noon	 3		 No First Drink
Noon	 4		 Noon Promises Group
4:00PM 	 Balcony		 FoodAddicts
5:30PM 	 1 		 Friendship Group - C
5:30PM	 C		 Free Pizza Group
6:00PM	 3		 Women’sWayThru Steps - C
8:00PM	 2		 Al-AnonTues Step Mtg
8:00PM	 3		 24 Hours Group
WEDNESDAY
9:00AM	 A		 Eyeopener Group
9:00AM 	 1		 Breathe Easy
9:00AM	 2		 CourageTo Change (Al-Anon)
Noon	 Balcony		 Noon Balcony Group t
Noon	 A		 AA Lunch Group - C
Noon	 B		 NA- Keep Coming Back
Noon	 1		 Surrender Group
Noon 	 2		 Al-Anon
Noon	 3		 No First Drink
Noon	 4		 Noon Promises Group
5:30PM 	 Balcony		 Friendship Group - C
5:30PM	 C		 Free Pizza Group
6:00PM	 2		Al-Anon
6:30PM	 4		 Zen Recovery Meeting
6:30PM	 5		 ShopliftersAnonymous
7:00PM	 3		 Powerless Not Hopeless
8:00PM	 Library		 Women’s Big Book Study
8:00PM	 B		 Bond Street Group (Mens) - C
8:00PM	 1		 Men’s Stag-Honesty Group
8:00PM	 2		 Al-AnonWed Mens Stag
8:00PM 	 C		 Barefoot Group-Open
THURSDAY
9:00AM	 A		 Eyeopener Group
9:00AM	 1		 Breathe Easy
Noon	 Balcony		 Noon Balcony Group
Noon	 A		 AA Lunch Group - C
Noon 	 1		 Surrender Group
Noon	 2		Al-Anon
Noon	 3		 No First Drink
Noon 	 4		 Noon Promises Group
5:30PM 	 Balcony	 F	 riendship Group - C
5:30PM	 C		 Free Pizza Group
n  Club Closes At 7:00 pm
FRIDAY
9:00AM	 A		 Eye Opener Group
9:00AM	 1		 Breathe Easy Group
9:00AM	 2		 Stepping Stones (Al-Anon)
Noon 	 Balcony		 Noon Balcony Group
Noon	 A		 AA Lunch Group - C
Noon	 B		 NA-Keep Coming Back
Noon 	 1		 Surrender Group
Noon	 2		Al-Anon
Noon	 3		 No First Drink
Noon	 4		 Noon Promises Group
Noon 	 5		 12 & 12 Study (open)
5:30PM	 Balcony		 Friendship Group - C
5:30PM	 C		 Free Pizza Group
7:00PM	 Balcony		 KCCO Speaker Meeting
8:00PM	 A		 Friday NightAA (Mixed)
8:00PM	 1		 Mens Stag-Honesty Group
8:00PM	 2		 Fri Night OpenAl-Anon
SATURDAY
8:00AM	 Balcony		 FoodAddicts
9:00AM	 A		 Eyeopener Group
9:00AM	 1		 Breathe Easy Group
9:00AM	 3		 JohnWayne - Men’s Stag - C
Noon 	 A		 Smart Recovery
Noon	 Balcony		 Men’s Stag
Noon	 1		 Surrender Group
Noon	 2		 Al-Anon Sat Sunshine
Noon	 3		 Sat Noon Men’s Stag
5:30PM 	 Balcony		 Friendship Group - C
7:30PM	 1		 NarcoticsAnonymous
7:30PM	 Balcony		 Saturday Night Live Speaker
NORTH ALANO CLUB MEETINGS NON-SMOKING FACILITY. CLOSED MEETINGS – C. 1020 COLLEGE NE, GRAND RAPIDS – *
GR.ALANOCLUB.ORG
CHECK OUT OUR NEW MEETING OPTIONS • INCLUDING S.M.A.R.T. & DOUBLE TROUBLE
From introduction to the book-
	 Refuge Recovery is a practice, a process, a set of tools, a treatment, and a path
to healing addiction and the suffering caused by addiction. The main inspiration
and guiding philosophy for the Refuge Recovery program are the teachings of
Siddhartha (Sid) Gautama, a man who lived in India twenty-five hundred years ago.
Sid was a radical psychologist and a spiritual revolutionary. through his own efforts
and practices, he came to understand why human beings experience and cause so
much suffering. He referred to the root cause of suffering as “uncontrollable thirst
or repetitive craving.” This “thirst” tends to arise in relation to pleasure, but it may
also arise as a craving for unpleasant experiences to go away, or as an addiction to
people, places, things, or experiences. This is the same thirst of the alcoholic, the
same craving as the addict, and the same attachment as the codependent.
	 Eventually, Sid came to understand and experience a way of living that ended
all forms of suffering. He did this through a practice and process that includes
meditation, wise actions, and compassion. After freeing himself from the suffering
caused by craving, he spent the rest of his life teaching others how to live a life
of well-being and freedom, a life free from suffering. Sid became known as the
Buddha, and his teachings became known as Buddhism. the Refuge Recovery
program has adapted the core teachings of the Buddha as a treatment of addiction.
	 Buddhism recognizes a nontheistic approach to spiritual practice. The Refuge
Recovery program of recovery does not ask anyone to believe anything, only to
trust the process and do the hard work of recovery.
This book contains a systematic approach to treating
and recovering from all forms of addictions. Using
the traditional formulation, the program of recovery
consists of the Four Noble Truths and the Eightfold
Path. When sincerely practiced, the program will
ensure a full recovery from addiction, and a lifelong
sense of well-being and happiness.
	 Of course, like every path, you can only get to
your destination by moving forward, one foot in front
of the other. The path is gradual and comprehensive,
a map of the inner terrain that must be traversed
in the process of recovery. The path includes daily
meditation practices, written investigations of the
causes and conditions of your addictions, and how to
find or create the community you will need in order
to heal and awaken. We have also included stories
of people who have successfully recovered with the
help of Buddhist practices.
VANDENBOSCH COUNSELING
MARK A. VANDENBOSCH, LMSW, CAADC
THERAPIST/ADDICTIONS COUNSELOR
41 Washington Ave., Suite 368 • Grand Haven MI 49417
231.670.7631 markhvb@gmail.com
www.VandenboschCouseling.com
AUGUST/SEPTEMBER 2016  n Living Large8
1,2, 3, 4 –A week of the month
B – Barefoot
C – Closed, addicts only
H – Handicap accessible
IP – IP discussion
Lit – Literature Study
O – Open - all are welcome
OP – Open podium
OT – Open topic
RR – Round Robin
S – Speaker meeting
St – Step Study
S/T – Step/Tradition Study
Ti –Ticket
Tr –Traditions
W – 2nd meeting for women
NA MEETING SCHEDULE
SUNDAY
7:00PM		Principles B4 Personalities	 Location: St.Andrew’s Episcopal Church
					 1025 3 Mile Road NE, Grand Rapids
					 O,H, St(1st) Lit(2nd),T(3rd), Lit(4th & 5th)
7:00PM		The Path BeginsThe Journey	 Location: 1440 FullerAve, SE, Grand Rapids
7:00PM		 Open-Minded	Group	 Location: Immanuel Lutheran Church			
				 725 FullerAve, Big Rapids
					OT
MONDAY
8:00AM		 SunriseTo Sunset	 Location: Matthew’s House of Ministry
					 766 7th St. NW, Grand Rapids
					 O, Lit, BasicText
11:00AM		 No Name		 Location: Grace Christian Reformed Church
					 100 Buckley SE, Grand Rapids
					 O, H, Lit
Noon		 Keep Coming Back	 Location: NorthAlano Club Room B
					 1020 CollegeAve NE, Grand Rapids
5:30PM		 Downtown Resting Place	 Location: Heartside Ministry
					 54 South Division, Grand Rapids
					O
7:00PM		 KeepingThe DreamAlive	 Location: Bates Place (next to 1st Christian Ref 			
					 Church) 650 Bates St SE, Grand Rapids
					O, OT
7:00PM		 New Beginnings	 Location: 4242 Plainfield NE, Grand Rapids
					 IP (1st) O, OT
8:00PM	 	 OpenTo Change	 Location: NorthAlano Club Room #3
					 1020 CollegeAve. NE, Grand Rapids
TUESDAY
8:00AM		 Sunrise to Sunset	 Location: Matthew’s House of Ministry
					 766 7th St. NW, Grand Rapids (atAlpine)
					O, OT
11:00AM		 No Name		 Location: Grace Christian Reformed Church
					 100 Buckley SE, Grand Rapids
					O, H,Ti
6:00PM		 Just Hope		 1717 MadisonAve, SE, Grand Rapids
					O, H,Ti
7:00PM 		 Progress Not Perfection	 Location: St. Paul’s Campus Parish
					 1 Damascus Rd. Big Rapids (on the campus 			
				 of Ferris State University)
					 C, H, Lit
7:30PM 		 Natural Life		 Location: New Community Church
					 2340 Dean Lake Drive NE, Grand Rapids
WEDNESDAY
8:00AM		 SunriseTo Sunset	 Location: Matthew’s House of Ministry
					 766 7th St. NW, Grand Rapids (atAlpine)
					 O, Lit (ItWorks How/Why)
11:00AM		 No Name		 Location: Grace Christian Reformed Church
					 100 Buckley SE, Grand Rapids
					O,H,RR
Noon		 Just ForToday		 Location:Trinity United Methodist Church	
					 1100 CollegeAve, NE, Grand Rapids
Noon		 Keep Coming Back	 Location: NorthAlano Club Room B
					 1020 CollegeAve. NE, Grand Rapids
5:30PM		 Downtown Resting Place	 Location: Heartside Ministry
					 54 South Division, Grand Rapids
					 O, H, S/T
7:00PM 		 We Qualify		 Location: HolyTrinity Episcopal Church	
					 5333 Clyde ParkAve. SW,Wyoming
					 O (1,3), Lit (2,4), B (5)
7:00PM		 Open-Minded Group	 Location: Immanuel Lutheran Church
					 726 FullerAve, Big Rapids
					O, OT
8:00PM		 SurrenderToWin	 Location: Clancy Street Ministry
					 940 ClancyAve NE, Grand Rapids	
					4-RR, 5-S
THURSDAY
8:00AM		 Sunrise to Sunset	 Location: Matthew’s House of Ministry
					 766 7th St. NW, Grand Rapids (atAlpine)
					O,T
11:00AM		 No Name		 Location: Grace Christian Reformed Church
					 100 Buckley SE, Grand Rapids
					 O, H, B
7:00PM		 Home Group		 Location: Lifequest
					 1050 Fisk St SE, Grand Rapids
					O, H
7:30PM		 Natural Life		 Location: New Community Church
					 2340 Dean Lake Drive NE, Grand Rapids
8:00PM		 Young In Recovery	 Location: God’s Kitchen
					 303 South Division, Grand Rapids
					O, Lit
FRIDAY
8:00AM		 SunriseTo Sunset	 Location: Matthew’s House of Ministry
					 766 7th St NW, Grand Rapids (atAlpine)
					 O, OT, S(1st)
11:00AM		 No Name		 Location: Grace Christian Reformed Church
					 100 Buckley SE, Grand Rapids				
					 O, H, IP (1st & 3rd), S (2nd & 4th)
Noon		 Keep Coming Back	 Location: NorthAlano Club B
					 1020 CollegeAve. NE, Grand Rapids
5:30PM		 Downtown Resting Place	 Location: Heartside Ministry
					 54 South Division, Grand Rapids
					 O, H, OP (1st)
7:00PM 		 T.G.I.F.		 Location:Trinity Reformed Church	
					 1224 DavisAve. NW, Grand Rapids
					 O, H, Candle Light
7:00PM 		 Staying in the Solution	 Location: Church of the Holy Spirit
					 1200 Post Drive NE, Belmont
					 *the 4th Friday of the month is an Open Meeting
					C, Spkr
SATURDAY
11:00AM		 Sisters of Sobriety	 Location: Matthews House of Ministry
					 766 7th St. NW, Grand Rapids (atAlpine)
					 O, Lit, S,W
11:00AM		 Men of Character	 Location: 1072 JeffersonAve SE, Grand Rapids
3:00PM 	Welcome Back 		 Location: Open Heart Community Church
					 841 Burton St. SWWyoming (The entrance is located in the
					 back of the church next to the parking lot.)
6:30PM 		 Sat. Night Candle Light	 Location: Pine Rest Retreat Center Bldg
					 68th St. and S. Divison, Grand Rapids -Take the main entrance
off 68th Street - just east of 		 S. DivisionThe meeting is in the first building on 		
					 the left in room 175.
					 O, H, S/T (2nd & 4th)
All Meetings are Non-Smoking
unless listed Abbreviation Key
Advocacy T-Shirts!
They start some conversations,
that’s for sure!
Only $20
Proceeds benefit Recovery Allies.
Get yours today! Call 616-254-9988
We’d like to recognize
Susan Rook for her contribution...
it’s her quote!
Living Large  n  AUGUST/SEPTEMBER 2016 9
RECOVERY COACH ACADEMY
August 8th
- 12th
  •  8:30am to 4:00pm
AboutThisTraining: RecoveryAlliesofWestMichiganishostingtheRCAfive-daytrainingopportunity.Thetrain-
ingisdesignedtoprepareparticipantsforemploymentasaRecoveryCoachaswellasinformthosethatwanttoattendthatmay
notbeseekingemploymentasone. Thetrainingwillprovideparticipantswithanin-depthandcomprehensivetrainingexperience
focusedonthedevelopmentoftheskillsrequiredforapersontoresponsiblyprovidetheservicesofaRecoveryCoach. Thetraining
willprovideparticipantstoolsandresourcesusefulinprovidingrecoverysupportservicesandwillemphasizeskillsneededtolink
peopleinrecoverytoneededsupportswithinthecommunity.Traininglocationwillbe935BaxterStSE,GrandRapids,MI49506.
Who Should Attend: TheRCAisopentoindividualswhohaveaninterestinprovidingsupport,mentorship,and
guidancetopersonswithsubstanceusedisordersandco-occurringmentalhealthdisorders. Individualswhoareinterestedinthe
RCAmustbeapprovedforparticipationbytheiremployer,acoordinatingagencyorendorsedbysomeoneinthecommunitythat
canspeakasareference. RCAparticipantsshouldthemselvesbeindividualsinstablerecovery,asitisimportanttothoseservedthat
theircoachhaveapersonalunderstandingofaddictionandrecovery.
Thecostofthistrainingis$400.00andworth32MCBAPhours.Lunchisincluded.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Agency/PersonReferredby:______________________________________________________
Name:__________________________________________________________________
E-mail:_________________________________________________________________
Address:_________________________________________________________________
Phone:_________________________________________________________________
Sendregistrationandpaymentto1345MonroeNW,GrandRapids,Mi49505.Thecostis$400.00.Makechecksandmoneyorders
outtoRecoveryAlliesofWestMi.Youcanalsoemailregistrationtoinfo@recoveryallies.usandcall616-734-3173topaybyphone
withcreditcard.
•	 LearningObjectivesfortheRecoveryCoachAcademy:
•	 DescribetherolesandfunctionsofaRecoveryCoach
•	 Listthecomponents,corevaluesandguidingprinciplesofrecovery
•	 Buildskillstoenhancerelationships
•	 Discussco-occurringdisordersandmedicated-
assistedrecovery
•	 Describestagesofchangeandtheirapplications
•	 Addressethicalissues
•	 Experiencewellnessplanning
•	 Practicenewly-acquiredskills
FELONY-FRIENDLY EMPLOYERS
AAMCO
ACE HARDWARE
ALBERTSON’S
AMERICAN GREETINGS
APPLE INC.
APPLEBEE’S
ARAMARK
AVON PRODUCTS
BAHAMA BREEZE
BASKIN-ROBBINS
BED, BATH & BEYOND
BEST WESTERN
BLACK & DECKER
BRAUM’S INC.
BRIDGESTONE
BUFFALO WILD WINGS
CAMBELL’S SOUP
CARL’S JR.
CARRIER CORPORATION
CEFCO
CDW
CHICK-FIL-A
CHIPOTLE
CHRYSLER
CINTAS
COLGATE-PALMOLIVE
COMMUNITY EDUCATION CENTERS
CONAGRA FOODS
COPART
COSTCO
DAIRY QUEEN
DART CONTAINERS
DEER PARK SPRING WATER CO.
DELTA FAUCETS
DENNY’S
DOLE FOOD COMPANY
DOLLAR TREE
DIVIZIO INDUSTRIES
DR. PEPPER
DUNLOP TIRES
DUNKIN’ DONUTS
DUPONT
DURACELL
EDDIE V’S
EMBASSY SUITES
EPSON
ERMCO, INC.
FIRESTONE AUTO CARE
FLYING J
FOOD SERVICES OF AMERICA
FRITO-LAY
FRUIT OF THE LOOM
GENENTECH
GENERAL ELECTRIC
GENERAL MILLS
GEORGIA-PACIFIC
GOLDEN CORRAL
GOODMAN
GRAINGER
GREAT CLIPS
HANES
HH GREGG
HILTON HOTELS
HOLIDAY INN
IBM
IHOP
IKEA
IN-N-OUT BURGER
INTERNATIONAL PAPER
INTERSTATE BATTERIES
JACK IN THE BOX
JIFFY LUBE
JIMMY JOHNS
KELLY MOORE PAINTS
KFC
KOHL’S
KRAFT FOODS
LABATT FOOD SERVICES
LONGHORN STEAKHOUSE
MCDONALD’S
MEN’S WEARHOUSE
METALS USA
MILLER BREWING COMPANY
MOTOROLA
NFI
NORDSTROM
O’CHARLEYS
OLIVE GARDEN
PACTIV
PAPPADEAUX
PEPSICO
PETSMART
PFS
PHILLIP MORRIS INC.
PILGRIM’S
PRAXAIR
RADISSON
RALPH’S
RC WILLEY
RED LOBSTER
RED ROBIN
REI
REPUBLIC SERVICES
RESTAURANT DEPOT
REYES BEVERAGE GROUP
RUBBERMAID
RUBY TUESDAY
RUMPKE
SAFEWAY
SAFELITE
SALVATION ARMY
SARA LEE
SEASONS 52
SHELL OIL
SHOPRITE
SMASH BURGER
SONIC DRIVE-IN
SONY
SUBWAY
SYSCO
TESLA
TRADER JOES
TYSON FOODS
US FOODS
US STEEL CORPORATION
VOLUNTEERS OF AMERICA
WASTE CONNECTIONS
WENDY’S
WHOLE FOODS
WINCO FOODS
WYNDHAM HOTELS
YARD HOUSE
For more employers visit exoffenders.net
If your company hires us folks... please let us know
and we will add you to the list!
Recovery Residences
Recovery residences are a safe place to reside while learning to live a life free of drugs
and alcohol. In early recovery housing is critical. A recovery residence offers rules,
structure, accountability, and support.
Today I proudly claim to be a person in long-term recovery. It took me a very long
time to be able to earn this title, as I was what may be called a “chronic relapser”. I
went to treatment 18 times, only to use within the first 24 hours of discharge after
each of those trips. Except for the last.
During my last trip to rehab it was suggested that I move on to a recovery house
upon discharge. I had all kinds of excuses not to go. “I have a safe place to go with
non-using family members”. “I just did 101 days in treatment, why the heck would I
need more?” “I don’t want to live with a bunch of other women whom I don’t know”.
All excuses to simply NOT do what was being suggested of me.
I was a person who could thrive in treatment. Tell me when to eat, when to sleep,
what group to go to, what topic to talk about and I was set. I had become “institu-
tionalized”. I could talk the talk but could not walk the walk. I did not know how to
live in the outside world.
A recovery residence gave me the tools I needed to learn to become a responsible,
productive member of society. I obtained employment. I learned to cook. I had fam-
ily like support from my “sisters” in recovery at the house. I did daily house chores.
I regularly attended parenting time with my daughters. I learned patience of myself
and others. I attended recovery support groups regularly.
All things I still do today. Today I am the Director of Outreach and Women’s Hous-
ing manager for a group of recovery residences in the Grand Rapids, MI area. I cook
dinner for my family most nights of the week, in our home. I have family like support
from my “sisters” in recovery. I have regained full custody of my youngest daughter.
I spend regular time with my oldest daughter whom was adopted by a family mem-
ber. I still practice patience. I still regularly attend and serve for recovery support
groups. These are but a few of the many blessings I have gained from living in a
recovery residence.
Bill Wilson, cofounder of Alcoholics Anonymous once said, “You can’t think your way
into right action, but you can act your way into right thinking.” This quote guided me
into taking the simple suggestion of moving into a recovery residence. A suggestion
that may be one of the most pivotal moves in my recovery.
Recovery residences offer people a safe place to start and sustain recovery. The rules,
structure, accountability, and support help guide people, like me, into long term re-
covery by not just thinking about right living; by living their way into right thinking.
AUGUST/SEPTEMBER 2016  n Living Large10
RECOVERY
The Family in
Fresh proposals to respond to rising opioid use/addiction/
deaths arrive daily, but are striking in their collective silence
on the needs of affected others—parents, siblings, intimate
partners, children, extended family members, and social
network members. Neglect of affected families has deep his-
torical roots within the history of addiction treatment and
recovery. Historically, family members were more likely to
be viewed by addiction professionals as causative agents
of addiction or hostile interlopers in the treatment process
than people in need of recovery support services in their
own right. Overcoming such attitudes has taken on added
urgency due to the rising prevalence, morbidity, and mortal-
ity of opioid addiction in the United States and its rippling
effects upon families and communities. In this brief com-
munication, we offer some reflections on this issue and how
we might use the current social crisis to forge a new chapter
in the nation’s response to addiction-affected families and
children.
Scientific research on the effects of opioid addiction on chil-
dren and families is robust and its findings are unequivocal.
Opioid addiction of a family member exerts profound con-
sequences on the physical, emotional, and financial health
of other family members and the family as a whole. Opioid
addiction dramatically alters family roles, rules, rituals, and
the family’s internal and external relationships. Its effects
are observed across all family subsystems—adult intimacy
relationships, parent-child-relationship, sibling relation-
ships, and the relationship between the nuclear family and
kinship networks.
The emotional life of opioid-affected families is rife with de-
nial, shock, anger, verbal confrontations, confusion, guilt,
humiliation, shame, fear, fleeting glimmers of hope, frus-
tration, anticipatory grief, and feelings of extreme isolation
and helplessness. Such feelings are exacerbated in the pres-
ence of an addicted family member’s threatening behavior,
physical violence, lying, manipulation, failed promises, pleas
for money, and damage or theft of property. Affected fami-
ly members often report role disruption across generations
(e.g., grandparents or aunts and uncles raising children of an
addicted parent), a restricted social life, financial distress, a
reduced standard of living (from the direct effects of opioid
addiction, legal expenses, and repeated episodes of addic-
tion treatment), and a progressive, stress-related increase in
their own alcohol and other drug use. The presence, sever-
ity, and duration of these effects are mediated by multiple
factors, such as the type, severity, complexity, and duration
of the opioid addiction and the internal and differences in
the external resources available to be mobilized to respond
to the addiction crisis.
Many reports note the significant increase in the use of opi-
oids and opioid-related deaths, with much of the focus on
prescription practices, the specific opioids used, and the epi-
demiology of overdose in various communities. Yet, each OD
death affects many people left behind. The loss of a loved
one through death, incarceration or incapacitation causes
immeasurable suffering for the family and other concerned
people. One of the authors recently attended a Vigil of Hope
in which family members honored the memory of a loved
one lost to addiction. Over 130 attended this event. Photos
of lost family members lined a table, most of them of young
adults. The majority of participants lit a candle and made
a statement about losing a loved one (a few lit candles to
express gratitude that their loved one is in recovery). One
little boy said “I light this candle in memory of my dad who
died when I was 3 years old.” A man lit a candle in memory
of “two brothers and a cousin who died from drug overdos-
es.”  Several couples and families lit candles as a group in
memory of their lost loved one. Tears flowed throughout this
Vigil as members shared their sadness and grief. We must all
remember that there is a person’s story behind every case of
addiction. There are also multiple family stories behind each
case of addiction. Addiction truly is a family disease affecting
us all. Death by overdose and incarceration from criminal
behaviors caused by addiction affects us all. And our pain as
family members may persist for years after losing our loved
one.
Research and our combined clinical experience on the ef-
fects of opioid addiction on children (beyond the effects of
prenatal opioid exposure) and the effects of parental opi-
oid addiction on the parent-child relationship are equally
unequivocal. Children of opioid-addicted parents are at
increased risk of developing attachment, mood (including
suicide risk), anxiety, conduct, and substance use disorders
and experiencing problems in school adjustment and per-
formance. These effects tend to be gender-mediated with
female children experiencing greater mood and anxiety dis-
orders and male children experiencing more disruptive and
substance use disorders. These risks are exacerbated when
the parental intimate relationship is marked by conflict, vi-
olence, and cyclical patterns of engagement, abandonment,
and reengagement. Studies of the effects of parental opioid
addiction on parental effectiveness and the parent-child re-
lationship note cyclical patterns of disengagement, neglect,
abandonment, and guilt-induced over-protection, over-con-
trol, and over-discipline—combinations that often leave chil-
dren confused and rebellious.     
While the above addiction-related effects on families and
children have been extensively documented in the scientif-
ic and professional literature, that same body of literature
offers surprisingly little data about the prevalence of recov-
ery from opioid addiction and how affected families recover
as individuals and as a family unit. The neglect of families
effected by opioid addiction ignores the damage such addic-
tion inflicts on the family, but it also fails to convey the very
real possibility of long-term recovery, and offers no norma-
tive map to guide families into and through the recovery pro-
cess. Below are examples of what family-oriented care would
look like within policy, prevention, treatment, recovery sup-
port, and research contexts.
 *Family members affected by opioid addiction are includ-
ed within policy and service planning discussions to provide
family perspectives on service needs.
 *Such representation includes a diversity of family experi-
ence, e.g., partner, parent, and child perspectives; families
who have experienced opioid-related deaths, families expe-
riencing active addiction, and families in recovery from opi-
oid addiction.
*Targeted prevention and/or counseling services are offered
to all children/siblings affected by opioid addiction.
 *Where possible, assertive linkage to professional and peer-
based family support services accompanies all opioid addic-
tion encounters, e.g., emergency services, point of arrest and
adjudication, treatment admission, and mutual help contact.
*Families affected by opioid addiction are provided an in-
dependent advocate to help them navigate legal and service
systems and to reduce the risk of financial exploitation by
helping organizations.
*The basic unit of service within addiction treatment pro-
grams and recovery community organizations is reconcep-
tualized from the addicted individual to the family unit.
*Family education and support programs are integrated
within all organizations offering opioid addiction treatment
and recovery support services. Family education includes (at
a minimum) information on the neurobiology of opioid ad-
diction, the very real prospects of long-term recovery from
opioid addiction, treatment and recovery support options,
the diversity of pathways of recovery from opioid addiction,
the effects of opioid addiction on the family and family mem-
bers (including children), and the commonly experienced
stages of family recovery.
*Affected family members (adults and children), including
those who have experienced addiction-related losses within
their families, are provided safe venues to share their stories
and experience mutual support with others similarly affect-
ed.  
*Family-oriented care within treatment programs spans the
functions of assessment, treatment and recovery planning,
service delivery, and post-treatment monitoring (recovery
checkups), support, and, if and when needed, early re-in-
tervention. Periodic recovery check-ups are continued for
a minimum of five years following initial recovery stabiliza-
tion.
*Every family involved in addiction treatment and/or peer-
based recovery support services is exposed to individuals
and families in long-term recovery from opioid addiction.
*Affected families are given opportunities to use their ex-
periences as vehicles for community education and policy
advocacy.
Of the above actions, none is more important than bring-
ing affected family members into policy development and
service planning venues and listening–really listening–to
their stories and letting the experiences and needs reflected
in those stories shape a family-focused policy agenda. Put
simply, national and local responses to opioid addiction are
most effective when they begin with the lost art of listening—
listening to the raw urgency of unmet needs.
Calling Attention To Opiod Affected Famlies And Children
(William White & Dr. Dennis C. Daley, July 16, 2016)
Selected References
•	 Daley, D.C., & Ward, J. (2015). The impact of substance use disorders on parents, Part I. Counselor, 16(2), 28-31.
•	 Daley, D.C., & Ward, J. (2015). The impact of substance use disorders on parents, Part II. Counselor, 16(3), 25-28. 
•	 Kirby, K.C., Dugosh, K.L., Benishek, L.A., & Harrington, V.M. (2005). The Significant Other Checklist:  Measuring the problems experienced by family members of drug users. Addictive Behaviors, 30(1), 29-47.
•	 Lander. L., Howsare, J., & Byrne, M. (2013). The impact of substance use disorders on families and children: From theory to practice. Social Work and Public Health, 28(0), 194-205. 
•	 Nunes, E.V., Weissman, M.M., Goldstein, R., McAvay, G., Beckford, C., Seracini, A., Verdeli, H., & Wickramaratne, P. (2000). Psychiatric disorders and impairment in the children of opiate addicts:  Prevalences
and distribution by ethnicity. The American Journal on Addictions, 9, 232-241.  
•	 Velleman, R., Bennett, G., Miller, T., Orford, J., Rigby, & Tod, A. (1993). The families of problem drug users:  A study of 50 close relatives. Addiction, 88, 1281-1289.
•	 White, W., & Savage, B. (2005). All in the family: Alcohol and other drug problems, recovery, advocacy. Alcoholism Treatment Quarterly, 23(4), 3-37.
Living Large  n  AUGUST/SEPTEMBER 2016 11
The celebration of multiple pathways
and styles of addiction recovery is a cen-
tral tenet of the new addiction recovery
advocacy movement. And yet if one lis-
tens carefully to the diversity of recovery
stories rising from this movement, there
is a striking and shared central thread
that forms the connecting tissue across
secular, spiritual, and religious frame-
works of recovery; across recovery in di-
verse populations and cultural contexts;
and across the mediums of natural recov-
ery, recovery mutual aid, and profession-
ally-assisted recovery initiation. That
central thread is a sustained, irrevocable
commitment for personal change. 
The forms of expression of that com-
mitment vary widely. In Twelve-Step
programs, it is rooted in the paradox of
strength (action) rising from acknowl-
edged limitation (powerlessness) and
the experience of surrender—a paradox
Kurtz and Ketcham characterized as the
spirituality of imperfection, e.g., change
emerging from the acceptance of one’s
Not-Godness. Faith-based recovery pro-
grams such as Celebrate Recovery share
a similar focus on powerlessness and the
need for connection to resources that
transcend the self.  In secular recovery
frameworks such as SMART Recovery
or Secular Organizations for Recovery,
the recovery commitment is centered
quite differently in “self-empowerment
and self-reliance” and a chosen “sobriety
priority.” In recovery frameworks rising
from historically-oppressed populations,
one often finds the recovery commitment
expressed through a similar assertion of
self, as found in Dr. Jean Kirkpatrick’s
(1986, p. 166) discussion of Women for
Sobriety’s First Statement of Acceptance
(“I have a drinking problem but it no lon-
ger has me. I am the master of it and I
am the master of myself.”). Such asser-
tion is also evident in recovery ministries
rising within African American commu-
nities, such as the first “act of resistance”
(“I will take control of my life”) in Glide’s
Africentric framework of addiction re-
covery (Williams & Laird,1992). Today’s
recovery advocates offer a similar chal-
lenge to action:  “Recovery by any means
necessary, under any circumstances.  No
matter what, don’t pick up!”
Whether through transcendence of self or
assertion of self, a forged and sustained
commitment to change is at the center
of recovery initiation and maintenance
across pathways and styles of addiction
recovery. But what is the ultimate source
of such commitment to recovery?  We
know that such commitment can come
in a lightning strike (what researchers
have called quantum change and trans-
formational change) or in a much slower
staged process of change, but what are its
essential ingredients? Multiple factors
can interact to set a detonation point of
recovery initiation. These can take the
form of push (avoidance) factors and
pull (approach factors) or constitute a
process more aptly described as drifting
out of addiction and into recovery.  Push
factors include personal identity issues,
family and significant other concerns,
health concerns, economic concerns, le-
gal troubles, fear of future consequenc-
es, and a progressive erosion of positive
drug experiences.  Pull factors include
exposure to positive recovery role mod-
els (recovery carriers), recovery-specific
family and social support, windows of
opportunity for lifestyle change (e.g., re-
location, job change), and emergence of
new beliefs (e.g. religious conversion).
I have argued in my earlier writings that
recovery involves a process of reach-
ing critical mass in a synergy of push
(pain) and pull (hope) factors. Pain in
the absence of hope within the context
of addiction drives only sustained drug
use and further self-destruction. Hope
in the absence of pain in the context of
addiction fuels only belief in one’s ulti-
mate invulnerability and continued drug
use and related excessive behaviors. It
is in a uniquely personal ratio between
pain and hope that one finds the spark
of recovery commitment igniting into a
sustainable fire. That recovery alchemy
can come early or late in one’s addiction
career, with such timing profoundly in-
fluenced by one’s family and social envi-
ronment. The future of recovery lies in a
greater understanding of how these in-
terior and exterior environments can be
influenced to spark and sustain recovery
commitment.
The growing varieties of conditions from
which such pain-hope synergies can be
elicited are revealed in acts of recovery
storytelling within diverse private, pro-
fessional, and public settings. What they
reveal is that recovery stability in the
short-term can be challenging, but that
the odds are stacked toward long-term
success. As we develop a deeper under-
standing of the natural world, it does
become clearer that nature (life) will find
a way. So will recovery, if given the op-
portunity.        
Of Potential Interest
Kirkpatrick, J. (1986). Turnabout. New
York: Bantam Books.
White, W. (2012). The history of Secular
Organizations for Sobriety—Save Our
Selves: An  interview with James Chris-
topher. Posted at www.williamwhitepa-
pers.com and www.facesandvoicesofre-
covery.org
White, W., & Chaney, R. (1992). Met-
aphors of Transformation: Feminine
and Masculine. Bloomington, IL: Chest-
nut Health Systems.
Williams, C. with Laird, R. (1992). No
Hiding Place: Empowerment and Re-
covery for Troubled Communities. New
York, NY: Harper San Francisco.
NATUREWILL FIND A WAY;
SOWILL RECOVERY!
(William White, June 24, 2016)
From the Sober Kitchen:
Does the right hand know what
the left hand is doing?
Chef Kevin
	 Ahhh… It’s a beautiful day. The sky is blue.
The air is warm. It’s the weekend. All the yard
work is done. I have the grill tool in my left hand
and, wait! Nothing in my right hand?!? Oh no,
I feel incomplete. I do not know how to cook
outside with my right hand empty!
	 Seriously though, this is a pretty realistic
scenario that may cause us to consider drinking
if not actually drink. I remember after being
sober for a while, standing next to the grill on
a Friday evening by the lake, listening to the
powerboat scream across the lake and saying,
“You know what? This is ridiculous. I drink. It’s
how I unwind, it’s how I have fun, and it’s how I
cook. I’m just that guy who drinks on a Friday.”
Six hours later, I was in jail. I could have been
better prepared for that moment.
	 I know many of us heading into the summer
months will have a similar moment. If I drill
down to the truth, I drank all year long. I didn’t
drink any more because it was summer. I think
drinking more frequently in the summer is
common for people that aren’t alcoholics and
I took advantage of that. I blended in a little.
One more truth I get a kick out of is the fact that
walking in the hot sun pushing a mower in one
hand while holding a beer in the other was fun.
It was not. The truth is that the beer got all shook
up, got hot and tasted awful. Ahhh summer…
	 Now I’m going to stand out. If I go to all
of the same functions and get-togethers and
politely say, “No thanks,” people will notice.
It’s really important to lay low for a while. The
first year I didn’t do much summer socializing.
Nevertheless there were some get-togethers I
should have and did attend, like Mothers’ Day,
birthdays and going-away parties. I did not do
the typical drinking events like Memorial Day,
Independence Day and Labor Day. Easier to
explain why I couldn’t come than why I wasn’t
drinking.
	 So back to what to do with that empty hand.
Many people in early recovery feel the need to fill
the hand with a new beverage. I’ve never heard
of that being a bad idea. I have a list of typical
choices and why I think they are either good or
bad. The first on the bad list is non-alcoholic
beer. Filling the space with that is a bad idea. As
someone once told me, “Of course we can’t drink
that. It says right on the label that it’s for non-
alcoholics!” It contains alcohol. Period. Second
on the list is any beverage served in a rocks glass.
It may seem like a good idea at first, maybe to
blend in or whatever. I found that not only is it
easy to mistake your glass for someone else’s it’s
kind of like a little piece of denial. Pretending is
not good for me now. I need to see thing as they
are. It’s good for me.
	 Second on the list of bad are certain flavors
of pop (called soda in the rest of the world). The
two main reasons are sugar and caffeine. Sugar
is bad for so many reasons I don’t have enough
time or room to go into it. Let’s just say it makes
us feel better initially, then restless, irritable, and
discontent shortly thereafter. The second reason
is the caffeine. Caffeine is a drug. I talk to so
many people in early recovery that can’t sleep
and are anxious as heck. My first question is,
“How much caffeine are you drinking?” The
answers never surprise me neither does the
quantity. When the young lady shared with
me what her anxiety causes her to feel like, she
in essence, described a panic attack. I asked
her how much soda she was drinking and what
is your drink of choice?’ Her answer was Diet
Coke™ and no more than two 2-liters a day. I
suggested she might just cut back a little… Turns
out, she has insomnia. Can’t sleep so she needs
something to help stay awake. Too much “help”
staying awake and not able to sleep. It’s a very
typical cycle many people are in, regardless of
alcohol or drug addiction. I think one soda a day
is realistic. Drinking Diet Coke™ all evening at a
party can cause a headache. I went to listen to a
band with friends one night, and drank diet soda
the whole time. Turns out the combination of
talking over loud music in a smoky bar and too
much soda with caffeine can cause a hangover. I
felt like I was hit by a truck the next day! Again,
water would have been a better choice. Squirt™
or Fresca™ are pretty safe choices. They have
flavor, no caffeine, bubbles (we just like a party!)
and lower sugar than most. The fruit soda like
orange or grape Crush™ have more sugar than
twice the daily allowance, around 11 teaspoons.
That’s the same as 17 Chips Ahoy™ cookies! My
least favorite of the soda choices is Mountain
Dew™. It is the natural choice for many in
recovery because it satisfies the need for sugar
and replacing the need for sleep. It contains
more caffeine than any other soda.
	 On the list of good beverage choices is water.
I really had to get used to drinking it. Once my
thirst was quenched, casually sipping for the
sake of sipping was just plain boring. Reasons
it’s good – it’s one of the only beverages that
actually does quench your thirst; we need it to
survive; the majority of our bodies are made up
of water; and it’s cheap or even free. I think it’s
funny that the more they take out of water the
more it costs. If you dare drink from a tap you’ll
get more minerals and actually pay nothing!. If
you’re not a big fan of plain old water, then add a
wedge of some kind of fruit.
	 For some other quick quenchers, keep a
good supply of juices, sodas and seltzers on hand
to help create instant refreshment without fuss
and to relieve the beverage boredom. Mix and
match your own combinations but just be sure
to refrain from using any mixer that may be a
personal trigger for you. Here are a few ideas
from The Sober Kitchen cookbook:
ORANGEADE:
	 2 parts orange juice
	 1 part seltzer or club soda
GRAPEFRUIT COOLER:
	 3 parts grapefruit juice
	 1 part seltzer or club soda
PINEAPPLE PUNCH:
	 1 part pineapple juice
	 1 part orange juice
	 1 part ginger ale
WHITE GRAPE PUNCH:
	 2 parts white grape juice
	 1 part seltzer or club soda
	 lemon
Some other fun beverages to make are
homemade lemon- or limeade and, if you
have a blender, fruit smoothies are also a good
choice. Just go easy on the sugar and don’t
drink them in a margarita glass! Here are
some easy summer recipes:
STRAWBERRY-BANANA SMOOTHIE:
	 1 c. fresh or frozen strawberries
	 1 ripe banana, cut into 1-inch pieces
	 1 Tbsp. sugar
	 1 c. milk
LIMEADE:
	 1 c. fresh lime juice
	 ¼ c. sugar
	 3 c. cold water
ORANGE CREAMSICLE SMOOTHIE:
	 1 scoop orange sherbet or sorbet
	 8 oz vanilla yogurt
	 1 Tbsp honey
	 ¼ c. milk	
The main issue is that if we need to fill our
hand with something or give ourselves a treat
after mowing the lawn, there are good choices
and bad. I have found that over time, it is not
necessary for me to have something in my
hand to fit in. Believe it or not you may not be
the only one not drinking alcohol. I know it’s
shocking, but lots of people don’t drink!
Enjoy summer!!
AUGUST/SEPTEMBER 2016  n Living Large12
LAUGHING Matters
YOU
are the most
IMPORTANT
person in your
RECOVERY!
“The roads to recovery are many
and that the resolution of alcoholism by any
method should be a cause for celebration by
A.A. members.” – Bill Wilson, 1944
Recovery Allies recognizes that there are
many pathways to recovery. Below are
some that we know of.One way to advocate
is to start one in your community!!
Some of the many pathways
n	Alcoholics Anonymous – www.aa.org
n	Narcotics Anonymous – www.NA.org
n	Al-Anon – www.ola-is.org
n	Other A’s
n	Women in Sobriety – www.womenforsobriety.org
n	Men for Sobriety – www.womenforsobriety.org
n	Rational Recovery – www.rational.org
n	Moderation Management – www.moderation.org
n	HAMS – Harm Reduction Abstinence and
Moderation Support – http://hamsnetwork.org
n	White Bison – www.whitebison.org
n	S.O.S Secular Organization for Sobriety –
www.sossobriety.org
n	Life Ring – www.unhooked.com
n	SMART Recovery: Self-Management and
Recovery Training-www.smartrecovery.org
n	Celebrate Recovery – www.celebraterecovery.com
n	HAHA – Health and Healing Advocate's
n	Pagans for Sobriety
n	All Recovery
n	Refuge Recovery
Online Resources
n	Substance Abuse and Mental Health
Administration (SAMHSA) – www.samhsa.gov
n	U.S. Department of Health and Human Services –
www.hhs.gov
n	National Institute of Drug Abuse (NIDA) –
www.drugabuse.gov
n	24/7 Help Yourself – www.24/7helpyourself.com
n	Sober Recovery – www.soberrecovery.com
n	Cyber Recovery – www.cyberrecovery.net
n	Addiction Tribe – www.addictiontribe.net
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Recovery Palooza
September 17th, 2016
West Michigan’s 10th Annual
Celebration of Recovery
Recovery Palooza is sponsored by Recovery Allies of West Michigan.
We are a non-profit organization whose mission is to promote long-
term recovery from substance use disorders through professional
trainings, individual coaching, and community and family education.
Recovery Allies is committed to cultivating diverse pathways to
Recovery through community education, professional training and
individual and family coaching. In collaboration with community
partners, Recovery Palooza seeks to brings encourage an environment
in West Michigan where Recovery thrives!!
Music| Free Food | Games and Fun Activities
Community Resource Tent
Find us online: recoveryallies.us
Like us on Facebook: facebook.com/recoverypalooza
SAVE THE DATE!

Living Large Fall 2016

  • 1.
    Living LargeAUGUST/SEPTEMBER 2016DEDICATEDTO SUPPORTING PEOPLE IN RECOVERY A PUBLICATION OF RECOVERY ALLIES OF WEST MICHIGAN I come from a world of floating balloons and celebrations. That’s the world of recovery. Many in this new recovery move- ment come from a word of loss and grief on a level that is hard to imagine. We have two messages but ultimately one goal. When I laugh and celebrate in the face of your pain and suffering, the feeling of unity is in the background if even felt at all. How do we come together and use our momentum to make change? How do we reach the ultimate goal of getting people the help they need? I have learned much lately. Many joined the cause in Washington D.C. in October of 2015. I noticed t-shirt after t-shirt of loved ones that lost the battle. I had a feeling that, from my recovery world perspective, that does not invite people into recovery. We that survived addiction know the dangers. When one of us dies we shake our selves off and keep trying to make change (or keep using if still in active addiction). I escaped death and as a result have profound grat- itude. People that have survived cancer often report of having new life meaning and purpose, and clarification of values, as a result. Those in recovery have a very similar experience. It’s hard to linger in the world of those that didn’t make it. Again many of us gathered to rally in Lansing in June of 2016. I went to put a face and a voice to recovery. They came to create awareness of the pain and loss addiction causes. I also came to bring awareness that focusing on one drug might have the result of minimizing the danger of other drugs (there were more alco- hol related deaths than opioid as recent as 2014 and marijuana is a drug that is more potent than ever before and attitudes are more accepting than ever before) They came to end the opioid epidemic. I came to possibly reduce the size of the addicted pop- ulation. But ultimately we were both there to increase access to treatment. I need to be careful where and when I celebrate. I need to feel their pain. My hope is that they would celebrate with me, explain their goals, and share their experiences and ask why it was dif- ferent for me. Why did I survive while their loved one did not? I think if we come to gather at events other than rallies, we can listen, learn, and come together, we can avoid the very real possibility of coming apart. In an effort to do so Recovery Allies is in the process of plan- ning a family group. We hope to offer a place where families can come and share how they have made it as far as they have, offer comfort on how to talk to a still using loved one, and offer re- sources beyond the meeting. The day and time is on Tuesday’s at 7:00 pm and location is about to be announced. Please keep up with us on Facebook and check our website for the announce- ment. We hope this is the first of many such opportunities to come together and sit at the same table. My name is Kevin McLaughlin and I am a person in long- term recovery, which for me, means I have not had a drink or used a drug in 12 years. That is how I prefer to introduce myself today. There are over 25 million Americans in recov- ery today in the United States. I am proud to be one of them. Although not every one of us is able to say it publicly, if the rest of us do, the health issue of addiction will come out of the shadows and into the light. By standing up and saying “I am in recovery”, I am sharing with the world that addiction treatment can work, that people can get well, there is indeed life after addiction. It’s safe to say that there is a revolution happening in America today. I am the executive director of Recovery Allies of West Michigan. Recovery Allies is a grass roots organiza- tion that is for the people, by the people. We are considered a “peer run organization” and have 501 c3 nonprofit status. We are funded by individuals and families affected by addic- tion, by private philanthropy and grants issued by the state for peer run organizations as well as by various other orga- nizations that want to see change. We are one of over 105 in the nation at this time and have taken many cues from those that have been doing it for a long time. We Advocate, Cele- brate and Educate . The national RCO Faces and Voices of Recovery have this on their web site: “Recovery community organizations (RCOs) are the heart and soul of the recovery movement. In the last ten years, RCOs have proliferated throughout the US. They are demonstrating leadership in their towns, cities and states as well as on the national land- scape. They have become major hubs for recovery-focused policy advocacy activities, carrying out recovery-focused community education and outreach programs, and becom- ing players in systems change initiatives. Many are also pro- viding peer-based recovery support services. RCOs share a recovery vision, authenticity of voice and are independent, serving as a bridge between diverse communities of recov- ery, the addiction treatment community, governmental agencies, the criminal justice system, the larger network of health and human services providers and systems and the broader recovery support resources of the extended commu- nity.” The vision we have includes opening a Recovery Commu- nity Center (RCC). The center is much like a welcome cen- ter at the state line. If you want to enter recovery, this is the place to start. Phil Valentine of CCAR wrote a paper on this topic and I want to quote him: “A Recovery Community Cen- ter (RCC) is a recovery oriented sanctuary anchored in the heart of the community. It exists to put a face on recovery, to build recovery capital and to serve as a physical location where CCAR (Recovery Allies) can organize the local recov- ery community’s ability to care. A RCC is not a treatment agency; it is not a 12-Step Club and it is not a drop-in center although aspects of all of these are apparent. A RCC will de- liver peer-to-peer recovery support services using its volun- teer force as the deliverers of these services. A RCC is not a place for people to simply hang out, watch TV, play cards or pool and attend a daily meeting. We are not seeking to duplicate existing resources. Yet, an RCC will host specific social events. A RCC is not a drop-in center whose primary purpose is to refer and help people get into treatment. Obvi- ously, people in need of help will enter the RCC and we will do everything in our power to assist them.” One of our goals is to put faces and voices to recovery. Can you imagine if 25 million Americans shared their story of recovery? There is a quote in the movie “the Anonymous People” by Senator Patrick Kennedy saying “we could end this thing overnight!” We must wherever possible, share our story of recovery. Recovery Allies is what is known as a “Recovery Commu- nity Organization” or an RCO for short. The field of addic- tion can be divided into three parts, prevention, treatment and recovery supports. All are critical and provide specific needs to our community and to the individual. Recovery Al- lies is one of many components to the “recovery supports” piece. Another of our goals is to bring pockets of or community together that supports recovery. We know that many things can threaten a person’s early recovery, everything from a billboard advertising the latest beverage to a college cam- pus. By finding and bringing together anyone and everything that supports recovery we can create an environment that is safe and increase the likelihood of recovery taking hold. We know that those exposed to addiction are more likely to ex- perience it. We also know that those exposed to recovery for long periods are also more likely to experience it! There are many forces at work here. This is a time of great and much needed change. Our system of treatment and lack of long- term supports is why most people aren’t able to recover the first time around and why many never recover. We need to address many elements of the problem and of the solution at the same time. Some of those elements are the funding for treatment and long term recovery supports, the language we use and the stigma and shame behind why many of us are reluctant to share our recovery with others. We will talk more about all of this in future issues of Living Large. The message I really want to send is that we know people have a much better chance of sustainable recovery with help. The term “recovery supports” is exactly what that is, support in your recovery. We will accomplish this if we….. Advocate, Celebrate and Educate!!! CAN CELEBRATING AND SUFFERING SIT AT THE SAME TABLE? -FROM THE EDITOR- Recovery ALLIES ADVOCATE • CELEBRATE • EDUCATE recoveryallies.us Kevin McLaughlin, Executive Director Recovery Community Organization (RCO) Phone: 616-262-8531• Email: kevin@recoveryallies.us r a Saturday, September 17th SAVE THE DATE! r p2016 RECOVERY PALOOZA !
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    AUGUST/SEPTEMBER 2016  n LivingLarge2 KENT COUNTY RECOVERY HOUSING COALITION - UNITED METHODIST COMMUNITY HEALTH FIRST STEP HOUSE – WOMAN’S HOME Contact: Rose Simmons Phone: 616-452-3226 Ext. 3037 MailingAddress: 904 SheldonAve. SE E-mail: rsimmons@umchousegr.org Website: umchousegr.org HomeAddress: 922 SheldonAve. SE HOUSE OF BLESSINGS – WOMAN’S HOME Contact: Shellie Cole-Mickens Phone: 616-634-1972 Address: 938 Humbolt Street Southeast Grand Rapids, MI 49507 918 Hall Street Southeast Grand Rapids, MI 49507 NEXT PHASE – WOMAN’S HOME Contact: Freddy Martin Phone: 616-450-0686 Address: 368 SenoraAve Southeast Grand Rapids, MI 49508 SACRED BEGINNINGS – WOMAN’S HOMES Contact: Leslie King Phone: 616-890-8278 HomeAddress: 1165 Hermitage SE Grand Rapids, MI 49506 1366 Elliott SE Grand Rapids, MI 49507 Website: www.sbtp.org STEP FORWARD RECOVERY HOMES Address: GrandvilleArea Contact: Jo Ringnalda Phone: 616-662-0881 THE COMFORT HOME Address: South East Grand Rapids area Contact: Ron and Laurie DeBose Phone: 616-459-1930 MY SISTER’S HOUSE (WOMEN IN RECOVERY) Address:761 Bridge Street NW Phone: 616-235-0223 RECOVERY ROAD LLC – MEN’S HOMES ContactWomen: Brooke Bouman Phone: 616-710-6956 ContactWomen: Scott Borough Contact: 616-644-7956 MailingAddress: 961Alpine NW, GR MI E-mail: marvin@recoveryroadllc.com Website: recoveryroadllc.com HomeAddress: 961Alpine NW, GR MI 3036 Perry SWWyoming MI 49519 NEXT PHASE RECOVERY – MEN’S HOME Contact: Freddy Martin Phone: 616-450-0686 Address: 1145Alexander SE Grand Rapids, MI 49507 FAITH CHARITY RECOVERY CENTER – COUPLES HOME Address: 2219 HortonAve SE Grand Rapids, MI 49507 Contact: Dan or ZoeAnn Phone: 616-247-4744 or 616-808-5106 TOUCHSTONE RECOVERY Address: 1328 MaplerowAve NW Contact: Kevin & Catherine O’Hare Phone:616-250-8056 Cell:616-309-3091 PINE REST JELLEMA HOUSE Contact: Derrick Jackson Phone: 616-222-6861 MailingAddress: 523 Lyon Street Grand Rapids, MI 49508 BUILDING MEN FOR LIFE Address: Ottawa County Contact: JeffVantrees Phone: 616-795-9969 GRAND RECOVERY Address: PO Box 1060, Grand Rapids, MI Contact: Sanford Cummings Phone: 616-516-6537 RECOVERY RESIDENCES Women For Sobriety, Inc. is a non-profit organization dedicated to helping women overcome alcoholism and other addictions. It is, in fact, the first national self-help program for women alcoholics. Our “New Life” Program helps achieve sobriety and sustain ongoing recovery. WFS has been providing services to women alcoholics since July, 1976. The WFS “New Life” Program grew out of one woman’s search for sobriety. WFS self-help groups are found all across this country and abroad. Based upon a Thirteen Statement Program of positivity that encourages emotional and spiritual growth, the “New Life” Program has been extremely effective in helping women overcome their addictions and embrace a new positive lifestyle. For additional support, subscribe to our monthly newsletter, Sobering Thoughts, which is available free electronically through our Email Updates Service. Jean’s Bio Dr. Jean Kirkpatrick couldn’t cope with the fact that she was the first woman to receive the Fels Fellowship award at the University of Pennsylvania, so she went out and got drunk. Fearing that a mistake had been made and the funds to write her doctoral dissertation would be taken away, Dr. Kirkpatrick broke 3 years of sobriety with a drunk that lasted 13 years. In Turnabout: New Help For The Woman Alcoholic, Jean Kirkpatrick describes these years, the self-destruction and how she finally was able to stop drinking. With her own sobriety established by methods other than the traditional AA Program, Dr. Kirkpatrick formed the organization and Program, Women for Sobriety, Inc. in 1975 and has since devoted her life to helping women alcoholics. WFS “New Life” Acceptance Program 1. I have a life-threatening problem that once had me. I now take charge of my life and my disease. I accept the responsibility. 2. Negative thoughts destroy only myself. My first conscious sober act must be to remove negativity from my life. 3. Happiness is a habit I will develop. Happiness is created, not waited for. 4. Problems bother me only to the degree I permit them to. I now better understand my problems and do not permit problems to overwhelm me. 5. I am what I think. I am a capable, competent, caring, compassionate woman. 6. Life can be ordinary or it can be great. Greatness is mine by a conscious effort. 7. Love can change the course of my world. Caring becomes all important. 8. The fundamental object of life is emotional and spiritual growth. Daily I put my life into a proper order, knowing which are the priorities. 9. The past is gone forever. No longer will I be victimized by the past. I am a new person. 10. All love given returns. I will learn to know that others love me. 11. Enthusiasm is my daily exercise. I treasure all moments of my new life. 12. I am a competent woman and have much to give life. This is what I am and I shall know it always. 13. I am responsible for myself and for my actions. I am in charge of my mind, my thoughts, and my life. To make the Program effective for you, arise each morning fifteen minutes earlier than usual and go over the Thirteen Affirmations. Then begin to think about each one by itself. Take one Statement and use it consciously all day. At the end of the day review the use of it and what effects it had that day for you and your actions. What is LifeRing? LifeRing Secular Recovery is an absti- nence-based, worldwide network of individu- als seeking to live in recovery from addiction to alcohol or to other non-medically indicated drugs. In LifeRing, we offer each other peer-to- peer support in ways that encourage personal growth and continued learning through per- sonal empowerment. Our approach is based on developing, refining, and sharing our own personal strategies for continued abstinence and crafting a rewarding life in recovery. In short, we are sober, secular, and self-directed. Our Approach • Teaches self-empowerment and self-reliance. • Provides meetings that are educational, supportive and include open discussions. • Encourages individuals to recover from addiction and alcohol abuse and live satisfying lives. • Teaches techniques for self-directed change. • Supports the scientifically informed use of psychological treatments and legally prescribed psychiatric and addiction medication. • Works on substance abuse, alcohol abuse, addiction and drug abuse as complex maladaptive behaviors with possible physiological factors. • Evolves as scientific knowledge in addiction recovery evolves. • Differs from Alcoholics Anonymous, Narcotics Anonymous and other 12-step programs. Self-Management for Addiction Recovery
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    Living Large  n AUGUST/SEPTEMBER 2016 3 I can remember walking out of the doors of the treatment center, just having finished an inpa- tient stay. My recovery was being launched. I was excited about the possibilities ahead; but at the same time, I still had a lot of misgivings. What was I about to experience? My inpatient stay now seemed like the easier part – with the real chal- lenge lying just ahead. Would I continue to grow as a person and maintain my recovery? My addiction had not only impacted me, but those who were closest to me – my wife, my children. My hope was that we could engage in recovery as a family, together. This desire was being fanned by the process of self-evaluation and commitment to personal growth that I had entered. I was hungry for more depth in my personal relationships, and I wanted to experience this depth first at home. Al- most instantly, however, barriers to my hope for mutual recovery began to erect themselves. Some family and friends began to distance them- selves. I soon discovered that my choice for growth in recovery did not mean that those who I loved would also be willing to make that choice for themselves. As a result, I began to watch close friendships become increasingly estranged. The more I expressed my new found convictions, the more distancing I seemed to experience. When this happens with a friend, that’s one thing; when it happens with your spouse, it’s another. Within six (6) months of leaving inpatient treatment – and while still going through outpatient counseling – I found myself staring at divorce. Till this day, I still have the vivid memories and feelings of my heart being torn apart by the weight of the realization of the uphill battle to recovery I was facing. My decision to seek a divorce ultimately necessi- tated a lengthy evaluation by a trained counselor at the Friend of the Court. This brought to light my recent inpatient treatment, transitional hous- ing stay, and subsequent recovery goals and plans. With my spouse strictly opposed to joint custody, outside lawyers got involved. I can remember standing before the Referee at the Friend of the Court with the opposing lawyer. He didn’t refer to me as Mr. Masi, a father, or even “the plaintiff”. Rather I was only referred to as “the Addict”. In less than five minutes, I watched the court Ref- eree write the words “Drug Addict” on a piece of paper in front of him. Without my counsel so much as having an opportunity for rebuttal, it was ruled that I could only see my children every other weekend – supervised, and without overnights. I was devastated. Thank God that through treatment, I was equipped with new coping skills, abilities and beliefs that al- lowed me to continue the path of recovery. While it felt like I had lost my kids, I didn’t want to com- pound this loss by also losing my recovery. Thus, I determined not to allow old habits to creep in – habits that I knew would contribute to making things worse. Instead, I would work to uncover the values that I needed so much to reinforce my commitment to recovery. I wouldn’t allow the stigma of addiction or the disappointments of my relationships to define who I was or would be. Rather, I would define me; the new me. In terms of stigma, I realize today that there is likely no other physical or psychiatric condition more associated with social disapproval and dis- crimination than addiction. This is the case even though over 25 million Americans (10% of the US population) are identified as being in recovery, and another estimated 23.1 million Americans (9% of the US population) meet the criteria for treatment related to drugs or alcohol. Sadly, only 2.5 million people seek treatment each year. Note that for someone in early recovery, things may seem to get worse before they get better. For instance, adding to the difficulty of my divorce, custody battle for my kids, and being stigma- tized as “the Addict”, I also had to weather: being placed under surveillance by a private investigator hired by my spouses family; having to work long hours on a low paying job in order to pay for my outpatient treatment and legal fees; and strug- gling to provide financial support for my children. But once again, the tools and support I received from the recovery community were an invaluable blessing – providing the help I needed when it was needed most. And it did indeed get better. Today my children are not only in my life, they’re happy to say their dad is in recovery! Today, my recovery journey continues to un- fold. Thankfully, while I still face barriers to continued recovery, they are not as difficult to surmount as those I faced earlier in my experi- ence. But the one barrier that remains as strong as ever is the stigma associated with addiction. Recognizing the significant challenges many peo- ple in recovery face, each one of us has a shared responsibility to become a “safe place” – not becoming one more barrier or obstacle in the way. More than just helping each other initi- ate recovery, we must become a community that also welcomes and celebrates those in recovery. Scott Masi Referral and Outreach Specialist Brighton Center for Recovery. MAY BREAK MY BONES BUTWORDS WILL NEVER HURT ME! the word ADDICT the word ABUSE Recovery Is Already Difficult – No Need to Add Stigma
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    AUGUST/SEPTEMBER 2016  n LivingLarge4 “Substance Abuse”Is a Label We Should All Reject “Abuse” is an ugly word. “Child abuse,” “sexual abuse,” “physical abuse,” “emotional abuse,” “domestic abuse.” And then, of course, there’s “substance abuse.” But one of those things is not like the others: In all of the other types of abuse, there is a perpetrator who is harming a victim. In substance abuse, however, it makes no sense to argue that the victim is the poor innocent line of methamphetamine or glass of Chardonnay. The damage done—both by the problem and by the term—is focused primarily on substance users them- selves. The label is far from innocuous, and I vote that we retire it. There is clear evidence that the phrases "substance abuse" and "substance abuser" harm, as well as disparage, people with addiction. It's time to ditch these terms. This was originally posted on Substance.com in March of 2014. Maia Szala- vitz is one of the nation’s leading neuroscience and addiction journalists, and a columnist at Substance.com. and has written three books her latest is The Unbroken Brain Why I’m Breaking UpWith TheWord “Addict” Meghan Ralston - Harm Reduction Manager, Drug Policy Alliance “Addict’” is one of those words that so many of us use, largely without paus- ing to wonder if we should. We just take for granted that it’s totally OK to de- scribe a human being with one word, “addict” — a word with overwhelmingly negative connotations to many people. We don’t really do that for other challenging qualities that can have a serious impact on people’s lives. We don’t say, “my mother, the blind,” or “my broth- er, the bipolar.” We don’t say, “my best friend, the epileptic,” or “my nephew, the leukemia.” We don’t do that because we intuitively understand how odd it would sound, and how disrespectful and insensitive it would be. We don’t ascribe a diffi- cult state as the full sum of a person’s identity and humanity. Maia Szalavitz eloquently expressed similar frustration with terms like “substance abuser” in her recent piece at substance.com. When we do feel the need to reference a state of disability, challenge or dis- ease when describing a human being, we say something like, “my mother has cancer,” or “my nephew has leukemia.” And we would almost certainly nev- er let that be the only thing said about that person, something that defined them. We do not say or suggest that a person is their challenge. We remem- ber that they are a person first, then if appropriate indicate their challenge as one factor of their existence. Why can’t we be that intelligently sensitive with people struggling with drugs? For many people, myself included, the word “addict” is incredibly harmful and offensive. You do not have my permission to call me an addict. You can of course refer to yourself as an addict, if you wish, but please do not re- fer to everyone physically or psychologically depen- dent on drugs as “an addict.” The sense of fear, loathing, other- ness and “less than” created by that word far outweighs any benefits of using linguistic short- hand to quickly describe a person. “Addict” is a word so singularly loaded with stigma and con- tempt that it’s some- what appalling that we continue to let it be used so easily and indiscriminately. continued Even in a chaotic stage of drug use, we are not “other.” We are women, we are someone’s daughter, we continue to laugh, we continue to like jazz and cheeseburgers and comfy pajamas. We cry, we get so lonely, we hate sitting in traffic. Addiction can be wretched, no question, but we do not ever stop being human beings, even during the times in our lives when we are depen- dent on drugs. I may be in the fight of my life with drugs, but I am not the drugs that I take. I am a fighter, a survivor — I am never merely “an addict.” Please do not de- stroy the totality of who I am by reducing me to that one word. We retain our full humanity despite our challenges, particularly when our challenges are much deeper than our attention-grabbing drug use might suggest. My days of chaotic substance abuse are long behind me. I am not “an addict” now, and I wasn’t “an addict” then. I’m just a person, who had a period of difficulty, pain and challenge. I battled, I failed, I tried again — just like most people. Why not try using any of the following as alternatives to calling someone “an addict”: person dependent on drugs; people struggling with drugs; person in recovery from addiction. The use of person-centric language may seem inconsequential, but I assure you, it is not. It is vitally important to scores of people, most of whom you’ve never met and never will. They are the people who, in the eyes of the world, are lumped into that “other” category you’ve created for them by calling them “an addict.” They don’t want to be there anymore. I’m hoping to tell their story with this blog post. We’ve been silent too long. We’ve had enough. Please — put our humanity first. Please stop using the word “addict.” This piece first appeared on the Drug Policy Alliance blog. ADDICT ABUSE
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    Living Large  n AUGUST/SEPTEMBER 2016 5 1. Some Assembly Required, Psychology Today, https://www.psy- chologytoday.com/blog/some-assembly-required 2. The Fix, http://www.thefix.com 3. Addiction Blog, http://alcohol.addictionblog.org 4. Partnership News Blog, http://www.drugfree.org/newsroom/ 5. Smart Recovery, http://blog.smartrecovery.org/ 6. Cathy Taughinbaugh, http://cathytaughinbaugh.com/blog/ 7. Sober Nation, http://www.sobernation.com 8. Sober Julie, http://www.soberjulie.com 9. B Here Today, http://bheretoday.com 10. Spiritual River, http://www.spiritualriver.com 11. Chipur, http://chipur.com 12. Breaking the Cycles, http://www.breakingthecycles.com 13. Into the Heart of Addiction, http://newlifehouse.com/into-the- heart-of-addiction/ 14. Castle Craig Hospital, http://www.castlecraig.co.uk/blog 15. Addiction Today, http://www.addictiontoday.org 16. Sober College, http://sobercollege.com 17. Selected Papers of William L. White, http://www.williamwhitepa- pers.com/blog 18. Sort My Life Solutions, www.smyls.co.uk/ 19. Tommy Rosen.com, http://www.tommyrosen.com/yoga/ blog-standard/ 20. The Addict’s Moms, http://addictsmom.com/profiles/blog/list 21. Drinking Diaries, http://www.drinkingdiaries.com 22. Morningside Recovery, https://www.morningsiderecovery.com/ category/blog/ 23. Changing Lives Foundation, http://www.drug-addiction-help- now.org/blog/ 24. Canadian Centre for Addictions http://canadiancentreforaddic- tions.org/why-us/blog/ 25. he Hurt Healer, http://thehurthealer.com/ 26. Guinevere Gets Sober, http://guineveregetssober.com/ 27. Growing Up Chaotic, http://growingupchaotic.com/ 28. Discovery Place, http://www.discoveryplace.info/blog 29. Heroes in Recovery, http://www.heroesinrecovery.com/blog/ 30. Paul Garrigan.com, http://paulgarrigan.com 31. Center for Motivation and Change Articles for Families, http:// www.motivationandchange.com/blog 32. The Discovering Alcoholic, http://discoveringalcoholic.com 33. One Crafty Mother, http://www.onecraftymother.com 34. Your First Step, http://yourfirststep.org/addiction-articles/ 35. Crying Out Now, http://www.cryingoutnow.com 36. Addictionland, http://www.addictionland.com 37. 100 Pedals, http://www.100pedals.com/ 38. Addiction Inbox,The Science of Substance Abuse, http://addic- tion-dirkh.blogspot.com 39. Parent Pathway, http://parentpathway.com 40. Quitting Crystal Meth, http://www.quittingcrystalmeth.com 41. Sober Courage, http://sobercourage.com/ 42. Mrs. D. Is Going Without, http://livingwithoutalcohol.blogspot. com 43. Candace Plattor. M.A., http://candaceplattor.com/blog/ 44. I’m Just F.I.N.E., http://fine-anon.blogspot.com 45. Leaving AA, http://leavingaa.com/ 46. Recovery Reflections, http://www.recoveryreflections.com 47. The Immortal Alcoholic, http://www.immortalalcoholic.blogspot. com 48. Reach Out Recovery, http://reachoutrecovery.com 49. All About Addiction, http://www.allaboutaddiction.com 50. International Quit and Recovery Registry, https://quitandrecov- ery.org/ 51. Sandy Swenson, http://www.sandyswenson.com/blog/ 52. Life Corked, http://lifecorked.com/ 53. Addiction Journal, http://addictionjournal.net 54. Jody Lamb.com, http://www.jodylamb.com 55. The Spirit of Recovery, http://thespiritofrecovery.net/ 56. Klen + Sobr, http://www.sincerightnow.com/blogs 57. Recovery Health Care, http://recoveryhealthcare.me 58. My Life as 3D, http://mylifeas3d.blogspot.com 59. Recovery Review, http://recoveryreview.net 60. Adam Sledd, http://adamsledd.com/blog/ 61. Waismann Method, https://www.rapiddetox.com/resources/ blog/ 62. Living in the Shadows in Prince Edward Island, http://shadows- inpei.blogspot.ca/ 63. Bye Bye Beer, http://byebyebeer.wordpress.com 64. Essentials of Recovery, http://www.essentialsofrecovery.com/ 65. An Addict in Our Son’s Bedroom, http://parentsofanaddict.blog- spot.com 66. Forever Falling Short, http://www.foreverfallingshort.com.au/ 67. Palo Recovery, http://www.palorecovery.com/blog-insights/ 68. Stay Close Blog, http://libbycataldi.com/blog 69. The Sober World, http://www.thesoberworld.com 70. Drinking to Distraction, http://drinkingtodistraction.com 71. Jagged Little Edges, http://jaggedlittleedges.com/ 72. She is Perfectly Imperfect, http://sheisperfectlyimperfect.com/ 73. Yoga and Recovery, http://yoga-recovery.blogspot.com 74. Barbara Cofer Stoefen, http://www.barbaracoferstoefen.com/ 75. The Drug Class Blog, http://drugclass.ca 75 AMAZING RECOVERY BLOGS 11 AMAZING RECOVERY PODCASTS 1. Smart Recovery and Special Event Podcasts, http://smartrecov- ery.libsyn.com/webinar-act-smart 2. Recovery 101, http://recovery101.podomatic.com/ 3. Addicted to Addicts, http://webtalkradio.net/internet-talk-radio/ addicted-to-addicts-survival-101/ 4. Growing Up Chaotic, http://growingupchaotic.com/ 5. The Bubble Hour, http://www.thebubblehour.com/ 6. 100 Pedals, http://www.100pedals.com/category/addiction-con- versation-podcast/ 7. Sober Conversations, http://recoveryhealthcare.me/category/so- ber-conversations/ 8. Recovered Podcast, http://recoveredcast.blogspot.com/ 9. Addiction Recovery Radio, http://www.addictionrecoveryradio. com/podcast/ 10. The Recovery Show, http://therecoveryshow.com/ 11. Addiction and Recovery Podcast, http://paulgarrigan.podbean. com/
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    AUGUST/SEPTEMBER 2016  n LivingLarge6 866.852.4001 pinerest.org/addiction-services Recovery is Possible Pine Rest offers a full continuum of addiction services. With one call, we can guide you through the process of inquiry, assessment and admission to the most appropriate level of care. We will assist you with understanding your insurance benefit or what other sources of funding might be available, and we’ll qualify you or your loved one for treatment. Our commitment is to treat you and your family with a welcoming heart, provide compassion and understanding in time of need and offer hope for recovery through excellent care. • Individual Outpatient Therapy at 14 licensed locations • Intensive Outpatient Therapy (IOP) in Grand Rapids and Kalamazoo • Outpatient Opioid Detoxification • Residential Detoxification • Residential Addiction Services • Short-Term Residential Services • Transitional Recovery Housing • Integrated Substance Use/Psychiatric Inpatient Services • Partial Hospitalization Program • Relapse Prevention Groups • Intervention and Family Services Books: Slaying the Dragon: Bill White The Art of Happiness: Dali Lama The Spirituality of Imperfection: Earnest Kurtz The Book Of Alcoholics Anonymous The Road Less Traveled: M. Scott Peck My Stroke of Insight: Jill Bolt Taylor Secret of the Ages: Robert Caulier Think and Grow Rich: Napoleon Hill Boundaries:Townsend and Cloud The Brain Mechanic: Spencer Lord The Success Principles: Chicken Soup Dude Proof of Heaven: Eben Alexander Brain Wars – Mario Beauregard Adult Children of Alcoholics: Dr. Janet G.Woititz Facing Codependence: Pia Melody The Intimacy Factor: Pia Melody Facing Love Addiction: Pia Melody Getting the Love You Want: Harville Hendrix And Anything Written By… Anne Lamott, Martin Luther King Jr., Bill Wilson or Bill White Movies & TV Shows: The Anonymous People Elementary on CBS Saving Mr Banks Running From Crazy Lindsy All About Ann 28 Days Paying it Forward My Name Is Bill W The Days Of Wine And Roses When A Man Loves A Woman When Love Is Not Enough –The LoisWilson Story The Basketball Diaries Clean And Sober The Lost Weekend Sober Entertainment: Books,Movies & TV Shows to Check Out
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    Living Large  n AUGUST/SEPTEMBER 2016 7 SUNDAY 9:30AM Balcony Sunday Morning Group 9:30AM 1 ExpectA Miracle 9:30AM 2 Al-Anon SunA.M. 9:30AM 3 Breakfast Group - C n  No Noon Meeting On Sundays 2:00PM A Sunday Serenity Group 3:30PM A Sun Big Book Study 5:30PM Balcony Friendship Group - C 7:00PM 2 Al-Anon Book Study 7:00PM C ACOA 8:00PM Balcony Young People’sAA 8:00PM C Sun Night Beginners Group 8:00PM 5 12&12 MONDAY 9:00AM A Eyeopener Group 9:00AM 1 Breathe Easy 9:00AM 2 Al-Anon Steps to Serenity 11:00AM C DoubleTrouble (Mixed Recovery) Noon Balcony Noon Balcony Group Noon A AA Lunch Group - C Noon B NA-Keep Coming Back Noon 1 Surrender Group Noon 3 No First Drink Noon 4 Noon Promises Group Noon 5 Women’s Stag -AA 5:30PM Balcony Friendship Group - C 5:30PM C Free Pizza Group 8:00PM A Monday NiteAA 8:00PM Balcony Life Club Group (Mens) - C 8:00PM 3 NA Open to Change TUESDAY 9:00AM A Eyeopener Group 9:00AM 1 Breathe Easy Noon Balcony Noon Balcony Group Noon A AA Group Issues &Tuesday Noon C AA Beginners Group - C Noon 1 Surrender Group Noon 2 Al-Anon Noon 3 No First Drink Noon 4 Noon Promises Group 4:00PM Balcony FoodAddicts 5:30PM 1 Friendship Group - C 5:30PM C Free Pizza Group 6:00PM 3 Women’sWayThru Steps - C 8:00PM 2 Al-AnonTues Step Mtg 8:00PM 3 24 Hours Group WEDNESDAY 9:00AM A Eyeopener Group 9:00AM 1 Breathe Easy 9:00AM 2 CourageTo Change (Al-Anon) Noon Balcony Noon Balcony Group t Noon A AA Lunch Group - C Noon B NA- Keep Coming Back Noon 1 Surrender Group Noon 2 Al-Anon Noon 3 No First Drink Noon 4 Noon Promises Group 5:30PM Balcony Friendship Group - C 5:30PM C Free Pizza Group 6:00PM 2 Al-Anon 6:30PM 4 Zen Recovery Meeting 6:30PM 5 ShopliftersAnonymous 7:00PM 3 Powerless Not Hopeless 8:00PM Library Women’s Big Book Study 8:00PM B Bond Street Group (Mens) - C 8:00PM 1 Men’s Stag-Honesty Group 8:00PM 2 Al-AnonWed Mens Stag 8:00PM C Barefoot Group-Open THURSDAY 9:00AM A Eyeopener Group 9:00AM 1 Breathe Easy Noon Balcony Noon Balcony Group Noon A AA Lunch Group - C Noon 1 Surrender Group Noon 2 Al-Anon Noon 3 No First Drink Noon 4 Noon Promises Group 5:30PM Balcony F riendship Group - C 5:30PM C Free Pizza Group n  Club Closes At 7:00 pm FRIDAY 9:00AM A Eye Opener Group 9:00AM 1 Breathe Easy Group 9:00AM 2 Stepping Stones (Al-Anon) Noon Balcony Noon Balcony Group Noon A AA Lunch Group - C Noon B NA-Keep Coming Back Noon 1 Surrender Group Noon 2 Al-Anon Noon 3 No First Drink Noon 4 Noon Promises Group Noon 5 12 & 12 Study (open) 5:30PM Balcony Friendship Group - C 5:30PM C Free Pizza Group 7:00PM Balcony KCCO Speaker Meeting 8:00PM A Friday NightAA (Mixed) 8:00PM 1 Mens Stag-Honesty Group 8:00PM 2 Fri Night OpenAl-Anon SATURDAY 8:00AM Balcony FoodAddicts 9:00AM A Eyeopener Group 9:00AM 1 Breathe Easy Group 9:00AM 3 JohnWayne - Men’s Stag - C Noon A Smart Recovery Noon Balcony Men’s Stag Noon 1 Surrender Group Noon 2 Al-Anon Sat Sunshine Noon 3 Sat Noon Men’s Stag 5:30PM Balcony Friendship Group - C 7:30PM 1 NarcoticsAnonymous 7:30PM Balcony Saturday Night Live Speaker NORTH ALANO CLUB MEETINGS NON-SMOKING FACILITY. CLOSED MEETINGS – C. 1020 COLLEGE NE, GRAND RAPIDS – * GR.ALANOCLUB.ORG CHECK OUT OUR NEW MEETING OPTIONS • INCLUDING S.M.A.R.T. & DOUBLE TROUBLE From introduction to the book- Refuge Recovery is a practice, a process, a set of tools, a treatment, and a path to healing addiction and the suffering caused by addiction. The main inspiration and guiding philosophy for the Refuge Recovery program are the teachings of Siddhartha (Sid) Gautama, a man who lived in India twenty-five hundred years ago. Sid was a radical psychologist and a spiritual revolutionary. through his own efforts and practices, he came to understand why human beings experience and cause so much suffering. He referred to the root cause of suffering as “uncontrollable thirst or repetitive craving.” This “thirst” tends to arise in relation to pleasure, but it may also arise as a craving for unpleasant experiences to go away, or as an addiction to people, places, things, or experiences. This is the same thirst of the alcoholic, the same craving as the addict, and the same attachment as the codependent. Eventually, Sid came to understand and experience a way of living that ended all forms of suffering. He did this through a practice and process that includes meditation, wise actions, and compassion. After freeing himself from the suffering caused by craving, he spent the rest of his life teaching others how to live a life of well-being and freedom, a life free from suffering. Sid became known as the Buddha, and his teachings became known as Buddhism. the Refuge Recovery program has adapted the core teachings of the Buddha as a treatment of addiction. Buddhism recognizes a nontheistic approach to spiritual practice. The Refuge Recovery program of recovery does not ask anyone to believe anything, only to trust the process and do the hard work of recovery. This book contains a systematic approach to treating and recovering from all forms of addictions. Using the traditional formulation, the program of recovery consists of the Four Noble Truths and the Eightfold Path. When sincerely practiced, the program will ensure a full recovery from addiction, and a lifelong sense of well-being and happiness. Of course, like every path, you can only get to your destination by moving forward, one foot in front of the other. The path is gradual and comprehensive, a map of the inner terrain that must be traversed in the process of recovery. The path includes daily meditation practices, written investigations of the causes and conditions of your addictions, and how to find or create the community you will need in order to heal and awaken. We have also included stories of people who have successfully recovered with the help of Buddhist practices. VANDENBOSCH COUNSELING MARK A. VANDENBOSCH, LMSW, CAADC THERAPIST/ADDICTIONS COUNSELOR 41 Washington Ave., Suite 368 • Grand Haven MI 49417 231.670.7631 markhvb@gmail.com www.VandenboschCouseling.com
  • 8.
    AUGUST/SEPTEMBER 2016  n LivingLarge8 1,2, 3, 4 –A week of the month B – Barefoot C – Closed, addicts only H – Handicap accessible IP – IP discussion Lit – Literature Study O – Open - all are welcome OP – Open podium OT – Open topic RR – Round Robin S – Speaker meeting St – Step Study S/T – Step/Tradition Study Ti –Ticket Tr –Traditions W – 2nd meeting for women NA MEETING SCHEDULE SUNDAY 7:00PM Principles B4 Personalities Location: St.Andrew’s Episcopal Church 1025 3 Mile Road NE, Grand Rapids O,H, St(1st) Lit(2nd),T(3rd), Lit(4th & 5th) 7:00PM The Path BeginsThe Journey Location: 1440 FullerAve, SE, Grand Rapids 7:00PM Open-Minded Group Location: Immanuel Lutheran Church 725 FullerAve, Big Rapids OT MONDAY 8:00AM SunriseTo Sunset Location: Matthew’s House of Ministry 766 7th St. NW, Grand Rapids O, Lit, BasicText 11:00AM No Name Location: Grace Christian Reformed Church 100 Buckley SE, Grand Rapids O, H, Lit Noon Keep Coming Back Location: NorthAlano Club Room B 1020 CollegeAve NE, Grand Rapids 5:30PM Downtown Resting Place Location: Heartside Ministry 54 South Division, Grand Rapids O 7:00PM KeepingThe DreamAlive Location: Bates Place (next to 1st Christian Ref Church) 650 Bates St SE, Grand Rapids O, OT 7:00PM New Beginnings Location: 4242 Plainfield NE, Grand Rapids IP (1st) O, OT 8:00PM OpenTo Change Location: NorthAlano Club Room #3 1020 CollegeAve. NE, Grand Rapids TUESDAY 8:00AM Sunrise to Sunset Location: Matthew’s House of Ministry 766 7th St. NW, Grand Rapids (atAlpine) O, OT 11:00AM No Name Location: Grace Christian Reformed Church 100 Buckley SE, Grand Rapids O, H,Ti 6:00PM Just Hope 1717 MadisonAve, SE, Grand Rapids O, H,Ti 7:00PM Progress Not Perfection Location: St. Paul’s Campus Parish 1 Damascus Rd. Big Rapids (on the campus of Ferris State University) C, H, Lit 7:30PM Natural Life Location: New Community Church 2340 Dean Lake Drive NE, Grand Rapids WEDNESDAY 8:00AM SunriseTo Sunset Location: Matthew’s House of Ministry 766 7th St. NW, Grand Rapids (atAlpine) O, Lit (ItWorks How/Why) 11:00AM No Name Location: Grace Christian Reformed Church 100 Buckley SE, Grand Rapids O,H,RR Noon Just ForToday Location:Trinity United Methodist Church 1100 CollegeAve, NE, Grand Rapids Noon Keep Coming Back Location: NorthAlano Club Room B 1020 CollegeAve. NE, Grand Rapids 5:30PM Downtown Resting Place Location: Heartside Ministry 54 South Division, Grand Rapids O, H, S/T 7:00PM We Qualify Location: HolyTrinity Episcopal Church 5333 Clyde ParkAve. SW,Wyoming O (1,3), Lit (2,4), B (5) 7:00PM Open-Minded Group Location: Immanuel Lutheran Church 726 FullerAve, Big Rapids O, OT 8:00PM SurrenderToWin Location: Clancy Street Ministry 940 ClancyAve NE, Grand Rapids 4-RR, 5-S THURSDAY 8:00AM Sunrise to Sunset Location: Matthew’s House of Ministry 766 7th St. NW, Grand Rapids (atAlpine) O,T 11:00AM No Name Location: Grace Christian Reformed Church 100 Buckley SE, Grand Rapids O, H, B 7:00PM Home Group Location: Lifequest 1050 Fisk St SE, Grand Rapids O, H 7:30PM Natural Life Location: New Community Church 2340 Dean Lake Drive NE, Grand Rapids 8:00PM Young In Recovery Location: God’s Kitchen 303 South Division, Grand Rapids O, Lit FRIDAY 8:00AM SunriseTo Sunset Location: Matthew’s House of Ministry 766 7th St NW, Grand Rapids (atAlpine) O, OT, S(1st) 11:00AM No Name Location: Grace Christian Reformed Church 100 Buckley SE, Grand Rapids O, H, IP (1st & 3rd), S (2nd & 4th) Noon Keep Coming Back Location: NorthAlano Club B 1020 CollegeAve. NE, Grand Rapids 5:30PM Downtown Resting Place Location: Heartside Ministry 54 South Division, Grand Rapids O, H, OP (1st) 7:00PM T.G.I.F. Location:Trinity Reformed Church 1224 DavisAve. NW, Grand Rapids O, H, Candle Light 7:00PM Staying in the Solution Location: Church of the Holy Spirit 1200 Post Drive NE, Belmont *the 4th Friday of the month is an Open Meeting C, Spkr SATURDAY 11:00AM Sisters of Sobriety Location: Matthews House of Ministry 766 7th St. NW, Grand Rapids (atAlpine) O, Lit, S,W 11:00AM Men of Character Location: 1072 JeffersonAve SE, Grand Rapids 3:00PM Welcome Back Location: Open Heart Community Church 841 Burton St. SWWyoming (The entrance is located in the back of the church next to the parking lot.) 6:30PM Sat. Night Candle Light Location: Pine Rest Retreat Center Bldg 68th St. and S. Divison, Grand Rapids -Take the main entrance off 68th Street - just east of S. DivisionThe meeting is in the first building on the left in room 175. O, H, S/T (2nd & 4th) All Meetings are Non-Smoking unless listed Abbreviation Key Advocacy T-Shirts! They start some conversations, that’s for sure! Only $20 Proceeds benefit Recovery Allies. Get yours today! Call 616-254-9988 We’d like to recognize Susan Rook for her contribution... it’s her quote!
  • 9.
    Living Large  n AUGUST/SEPTEMBER 2016 9 RECOVERY COACH ACADEMY August 8th - 12th   •  8:30am to 4:00pm AboutThisTraining: RecoveryAlliesofWestMichiganishostingtheRCAfive-daytrainingopportunity.Thetrain- ingisdesignedtoprepareparticipantsforemploymentasaRecoveryCoachaswellasinformthosethatwanttoattendthatmay notbeseekingemploymentasone. Thetrainingwillprovideparticipantswithanin-depthandcomprehensivetrainingexperience focusedonthedevelopmentoftheskillsrequiredforapersontoresponsiblyprovidetheservicesofaRecoveryCoach. Thetraining willprovideparticipantstoolsandresourcesusefulinprovidingrecoverysupportservicesandwillemphasizeskillsneededtolink peopleinrecoverytoneededsupportswithinthecommunity.Traininglocationwillbe935BaxterStSE,GrandRapids,MI49506. Who Should Attend: TheRCAisopentoindividualswhohaveaninterestinprovidingsupport,mentorship,and guidancetopersonswithsubstanceusedisordersandco-occurringmentalhealthdisorders. Individualswhoareinterestedinthe RCAmustbeapprovedforparticipationbytheiremployer,acoordinatingagencyorendorsedbysomeoneinthecommunitythat canspeakasareference. RCAparticipantsshouldthemselvesbeindividualsinstablerecovery,asitisimportanttothoseservedthat theircoachhaveapersonalunderstandingofaddictionandrecovery. Thecostofthistrainingis$400.00andworth32MCBAPhours.Lunchisincluded. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Agency/PersonReferredby:______________________________________________________ Name:__________________________________________________________________ E-mail:_________________________________________________________________ Address:_________________________________________________________________ Phone:_________________________________________________________________ Sendregistrationandpaymentto1345MonroeNW,GrandRapids,Mi49505.Thecostis$400.00.Makechecksandmoneyorders outtoRecoveryAlliesofWestMi.Youcanalsoemailregistrationtoinfo@recoveryallies.usandcall616-734-3173topaybyphone withcreditcard. • LearningObjectivesfortheRecoveryCoachAcademy: • DescribetherolesandfunctionsofaRecoveryCoach • Listthecomponents,corevaluesandguidingprinciplesofrecovery • Buildskillstoenhancerelationships • Discussco-occurringdisordersandmedicated- assistedrecovery • Describestagesofchangeandtheirapplications • Addressethicalissues • Experiencewellnessplanning • Practicenewly-acquiredskills FELONY-FRIENDLY EMPLOYERS AAMCO ACE HARDWARE ALBERTSON’S AMERICAN GREETINGS APPLE INC. APPLEBEE’S ARAMARK AVON PRODUCTS BAHAMA BREEZE BASKIN-ROBBINS BED, BATH & BEYOND BEST WESTERN BLACK & DECKER BRAUM’S INC. BRIDGESTONE BUFFALO WILD WINGS CAMBELL’S SOUP CARL’S JR. CARRIER CORPORATION CEFCO CDW CHICK-FIL-A CHIPOTLE CHRYSLER CINTAS COLGATE-PALMOLIVE COMMUNITY EDUCATION CENTERS CONAGRA FOODS COPART COSTCO DAIRY QUEEN DART CONTAINERS DEER PARK SPRING WATER CO. DELTA FAUCETS DENNY’S DOLE FOOD COMPANY DOLLAR TREE DIVIZIO INDUSTRIES DR. PEPPER DUNLOP TIRES DUNKIN’ DONUTS DUPONT DURACELL EDDIE V’S EMBASSY SUITES EPSON ERMCO, INC. FIRESTONE AUTO CARE FLYING J FOOD SERVICES OF AMERICA FRITO-LAY FRUIT OF THE LOOM GENENTECH GENERAL ELECTRIC GENERAL MILLS GEORGIA-PACIFIC GOLDEN CORRAL GOODMAN GRAINGER GREAT CLIPS HANES HH GREGG HILTON HOTELS HOLIDAY INN IBM IHOP IKEA IN-N-OUT BURGER INTERNATIONAL PAPER INTERSTATE BATTERIES JACK IN THE BOX JIFFY LUBE JIMMY JOHNS KELLY MOORE PAINTS KFC KOHL’S KRAFT FOODS LABATT FOOD SERVICES LONGHORN STEAKHOUSE MCDONALD’S MEN’S WEARHOUSE METALS USA MILLER BREWING COMPANY MOTOROLA NFI NORDSTROM O’CHARLEYS OLIVE GARDEN PACTIV PAPPADEAUX PEPSICO PETSMART PFS PHILLIP MORRIS INC. PILGRIM’S PRAXAIR RADISSON RALPH’S RC WILLEY RED LOBSTER RED ROBIN REI REPUBLIC SERVICES RESTAURANT DEPOT REYES BEVERAGE GROUP RUBBERMAID RUBY TUESDAY RUMPKE SAFEWAY SAFELITE SALVATION ARMY SARA LEE SEASONS 52 SHELL OIL SHOPRITE SMASH BURGER SONIC DRIVE-IN SONY SUBWAY SYSCO TESLA TRADER JOES TYSON FOODS US FOODS US STEEL CORPORATION VOLUNTEERS OF AMERICA WASTE CONNECTIONS WENDY’S WHOLE FOODS WINCO FOODS WYNDHAM HOTELS YARD HOUSE For more employers visit exoffenders.net If your company hires us folks... please let us know and we will add you to the list! Recovery Residences Recovery residences are a safe place to reside while learning to live a life free of drugs and alcohol. In early recovery housing is critical. A recovery residence offers rules, structure, accountability, and support. Today I proudly claim to be a person in long-term recovery. It took me a very long time to be able to earn this title, as I was what may be called a “chronic relapser”. I went to treatment 18 times, only to use within the first 24 hours of discharge after each of those trips. Except for the last. During my last trip to rehab it was suggested that I move on to a recovery house upon discharge. I had all kinds of excuses not to go. “I have a safe place to go with non-using family members”. “I just did 101 days in treatment, why the heck would I need more?” “I don’t want to live with a bunch of other women whom I don’t know”. All excuses to simply NOT do what was being suggested of me. I was a person who could thrive in treatment. Tell me when to eat, when to sleep, what group to go to, what topic to talk about and I was set. I had become “institu- tionalized”. I could talk the talk but could not walk the walk. I did not know how to live in the outside world. A recovery residence gave me the tools I needed to learn to become a responsible, productive member of society. I obtained employment. I learned to cook. I had fam- ily like support from my “sisters” in recovery at the house. I did daily house chores. I regularly attended parenting time with my daughters. I learned patience of myself and others. I attended recovery support groups regularly. All things I still do today. Today I am the Director of Outreach and Women’s Hous- ing manager for a group of recovery residences in the Grand Rapids, MI area. I cook dinner for my family most nights of the week, in our home. I have family like support from my “sisters” in recovery. I have regained full custody of my youngest daughter. I spend regular time with my oldest daughter whom was adopted by a family mem- ber. I still practice patience. I still regularly attend and serve for recovery support groups. These are but a few of the many blessings I have gained from living in a recovery residence. Bill Wilson, cofounder of Alcoholics Anonymous once said, “You can’t think your way into right action, but you can act your way into right thinking.” This quote guided me into taking the simple suggestion of moving into a recovery residence. A suggestion that may be one of the most pivotal moves in my recovery. Recovery residences offer people a safe place to start and sustain recovery. The rules, structure, accountability, and support help guide people, like me, into long term re- covery by not just thinking about right living; by living their way into right thinking.
  • 10.
    AUGUST/SEPTEMBER 2016  n LivingLarge10 RECOVERY The Family in Fresh proposals to respond to rising opioid use/addiction/ deaths arrive daily, but are striking in their collective silence on the needs of affected others—parents, siblings, intimate partners, children, extended family members, and social network members. Neglect of affected families has deep his- torical roots within the history of addiction treatment and recovery. Historically, family members were more likely to be viewed by addiction professionals as causative agents of addiction or hostile interlopers in the treatment process than people in need of recovery support services in their own right. Overcoming such attitudes has taken on added urgency due to the rising prevalence, morbidity, and mortal- ity of opioid addiction in the United States and its rippling effects upon families and communities. In this brief com- munication, we offer some reflections on this issue and how we might use the current social crisis to forge a new chapter in the nation’s response to addiction-affected families and children. Scientific research on the effects of opioid addiction on chil- dren and families is robust and its findings are unequivocal. Opioid addiction of a family member exerts profound con- sequences on the physical, emotional, and financial health of other family members and the family as a whole. Opioid addiction dramatically alters family roles, rules, rituals, and the family’s internal and external relationships. Its effects are observed across all family subsystems—adult intimacy relationships, parent-child-relationship, sibling relation- ships, and the relationship between the nuclear family and kinship networks. The emotional life of opioid-affected families is rife with de- nial, shock, anger, verbal confrontations, confusion, guilt, humiliation, shame, fear, fleeting glimmers of hope, frus- tration, anticipatory grief, and feelings of extreme isolation and helplessness. Such feelings are exacerbated in the pres- ence of an addicted family member’s threatening behavior, physical violence, lying, manipulation, failed promises, pleas for money, and damage or theft of property. Affected fami- ly members often report role disruption across generations (e.g., grandparents or aunts and uncles raising children of an addicted parent), a restricted social life, financial distress, a reduced standard of living (from the direct effects of opioid addiction, legal expenses, and repeated episodes of addic- tion treatment), and a progressive, stress-related increase in their own alcohol and other drug use. The presence, sever- ity, and duration of these effects are mediated by multiple factors, such as the type, severity, complexity, and duration of the opioid addiction and the internal and differences in the external resources available to be mobilized to respond to the addiction crisis. Many reports note the significant increase in the use of opi- oids and opioid-related deaths, with much of the focus on prescription practices, the specific opioids used, and the epi- demiology of overdose in various communities. Yet, each OD death affects many people left behind. The loss of a loved one through death, incarceration or incapacitation causes immeasurable suffering for the family and other concerned people. One of the authors recently attended a Vigil of Hope in which family members honored the memory of a loved one lost to addiction. Over 130 attended this event. Photos of lost family members lined a table, most of them of young adults. The majority of participants lit a candle and made a statement about losing a loved one (a few lit candles to express gratitude that their loved one is in recovery). One little boy said “I light this candle in memory of my dad who died when I was 3 years old.” A man lit a candle in memory of “two brothers and a cousin who died from drug overdos- es.”  Several couples and families lit candles as a group in memory of their lost loved one. Tears flowed throughout this Vigil as members shared their sadness and grief. We must all remember that there is a person’s story behind every case of addiction. There are also multiple family stories behind each case of addiction. Addiction truly is a family disease affecting us all. Death by overdose and incarceration from criminal behaviors caused by addiction affects us all. And our pain as family members may persist for years after losing our loved one. Research and our combined clinical experience on the ef- fects of opioid addiction on children (beyond the effects of prenatal opioid exposure) and the effects of parental opi- oid addiction on the parent-child relationship are equally unequivocal. Children of opioid-addicted parents are at increased risk of developing attachment, mood (including suicide risk), anxiety, conduct, and substance use disorders and experiencing problems in school adjustment and per- formance. These effects tend to be gender-mediated with female children experiencing greater mood and anxiety dis- orders and male children experiencing more disruptive and substance use disorders. These risks are exacerbated when the parental intimate relationship is marked by conflict, vi- olence, and cyclical patterns of engagement, abandonment, and reengagement. Studies of the effects of parental opioid addiction on parental effectiveness and the parent-child re- lationship note cyclical patterns of disengagement, neglect, abandonment, and guilt-induced over-protection, over-con- trol, and over-discipline—combinations that often leave chil- dren confused and rebellious.      While the above addiction-related effects on families and children have been extensively documented in the scientif- ic and professional literature, that same body of literature offers surprisingly little data about the prevalence of recov- ery from opioid addiction and how affected families recover as individuals and as a family unit. The neglect of families effected by opioid addiction ignores the damage such addic- tion inflicts on the family, but it also fails to convey the very real possibility of long-term recovery, and offers no norma- tive map to guide families into and through the recovery pro- cess. Below are examples of what family-oriented care would look like within policy, prevention, treatment, recovery sup- port, and research contexts.  *Family members affected by opioid addiction are includ- ed within policy and service planning discussions to provide family perspectives on service needs.  *Such representation includes a diversity of family experi- ence, e.g., partner, parent, and child perspectives; families who have experienced opioid-related deaths, families expe- riencing active addiction, and families in recovery from opi- oid addiction. *Targeted prevention and/or counseling services are offered to all children/siblings affected by opioid addiction.  *Where possible, assertive linkage to professional and peer- based family support services accompanies all opioid addic- tion encounters, e.g., emergency services, point of arrest and adjudication, treatment admission, and mutual help contact. *Families affected by opioid addiction are provided an in- dependent advocate to help them navigate legal and service systems and to reduce the risk of financial exploitation by helping organizations. *The basic unit of service within addiction treatment pro- grams and recovery community organizations is reconcep- tualized from the addicted individual to the family unit. *Family education and support programs are integrated within all organizations offering opioid addiction treatment and recovery support services. Family education includes (at a minimum) information on the neurobiology of opioid ad- diction, the very real prospects of long-term recovery from opioid addiction, treatment and recovery support options, the diversity of pathways of recovery from opioid addiction, the effects of opioid addiction on the family and family mem- bers (including children), and the commonly experienced stages of family recovery. *Affected family members (adults and children), including those who have experienced addiction-related losses within their families, are provided safe venues to share their stories and experience mutual support with others similarly affect- ed.   *Family-oriented care within treatment programs spans the functions of assessment, treatment and recovery planning, service delivery, and post-treatment monitoring (recovery checkups), support, and, if and when needed, early re-in- tervention. Periodic recovery check-ups are continued for a minimum of five years following initial recovery stabiliza- tion. *Every family involved in addiction treatment and/or peer- based recovery support services is exposed to individuals and families in long-term recovery from opioid addiction. *Affected families are given opportunities to use their ex- periences as vehicles for community education and policy advocacy. Of the above actions, none is more important than bring- ing affected family members into policy development and service planning venues and listening–really listening–to their stories and letting the experiences and needs reflected in those stories shape a family-focused policy agenda. Put simply, national and local responses to opioid addiction are most effective when they begin with the lost art of listening— listening to the raw urgency of unmet needs. Calling Attention To Opiod Affected Famlies And Children (William White & Dr. Dennis C. Daley, July 16, 2016) Selected References • Daley, D.C., & Ward, J. (2015). The impact of substance use disorders on parents, Part I. Counselor, 16(2), 28-31. • Daley, D.C., & Ward, J. (2015). The impact of substance use disorders on parents, Part II. Counselor, 16(3), 25-28.  • Kirby, K.C., Dugosh, K.L., Benishek, L.A., & Harrington, V.M. (2005). The Significant Other Checklist:  Measuring the problems experienced by family members of drug users. Addictive Behaviors, 30(1), 29-47. • Lander. L., Howsare, J., & Byrne, M. (2013). The impact of substance use disorders on families and children: From theory to practice. Social Work and Public Health, 28(0), 194-205.  • Nunes, E.V., Weissman, M.M., Goldstein, R., McAvay, G., Beckford, C., Seracini, A., Verdeli, H., & Wickramaratne, P. (2000). Psychiatric disorders and impairment in the children of opiate addicts:  Prevalences and distribution by ethnicity. The American Journal on Addictions, 9, 232-241.   • Velleman, R., Bennett, G., Miller, T., Orford, J., Rigby, & Tod, A. (1993). The families of problem drug users:  A study of 50 close relatives. Addiction, 88, 1281-1289. • White, W., & Savage, B. (2005). All in the family: Alcohol and other drug problems, recovery, advocacy. Alcoholism Treatment Quarterly, 23(4), 3-37.
  • 11.
    Living Large  n AUGUST/SEPTEMBER 2016 11 The celebration of multiple pathways and styles of addiction recovery is a cen- tral tenet of the new addiction recovery advocacy movement. And yet if one lis- tens carefully to the diversity of recovery stories rising from this movement, there is a striking and shared central thread that forms the connecting tissue across secular, spiritual, and religious frame- works of recovery; across recovery in di- verse populations and cultural contexts; and across the mediums of natural recov- ery, recovery mutual aid, and profession- ally-assisted recovery initiation. That central thread is a sustained, irrevocable commitment for personal change.  The forms of expression of that com- mitment vary widely. In Twelve-Step programs, it is rooted in the paradox of strength (action) rising from acknowl- edged limitation (powerlessness) and the experience of surrender—a paradox Kurtz and Ketcham characterized as the spirituality of imperfection, e.g., change emerging from the acceptance of one’s Not-Godness. Faith-based recovery pro- grams such as Celebrate Recovery share a similar focus on powerlessness and the need for connection to resources that transcend the self.  In secular recovery frameworks such as SMART Recovery or Secular Organizations for Recovery, the recovery commitment is centered quite differently in “self-empowerment and self-reliance” and a chosen “sobriety priority.” In recovery frameworks rising from historically-oppressed populations, one often finds the recovery commitment expressed through a similar assertion of self, as found in Dr. Jean Kirkpatrick’s (1986, p. 166) discussion of Women for Sobriety’s First Statement of Acceptance (“I have a drinking problem but it no lon- ger has me. I am the master of it and I am the master of myself.”). Such asser- tion is also evident in recovery ministries rising within African American commu- nities, such as the first “act of resistance” (“I will take control of my life”) in Glide’s Africentric framework of addiction re- covery (Williams & Laird,1992). Today’s recovery advocates offer a similar chal- lenge to action:  “Recovery by any means necessary, under any circumstances.  No matter what, don’t pick up!” Whether through transcendence of self or assertion of self, a forged and sustained commitment to change is at the center of recovery initiation and maintenance across pathways and styles of addiction recovery. But what is the ultimate source of such commitment to recovery?  We know that such commitment can come in a lightning strike (what researchers have called quantum change and trans- formational change) or in a much slower staged process of change, but what are its essential ingredients? Multiple factors can interact to set a detonation point of recovery initiation. These can take the form of push (avoidance) factors and pull (approach factors) or constitute a process more aptly described as drifting out of addiction and into recovery.  Push factors include personal identity issues, family and significant other concerns, health concerns, economic concerns, le- gal troubles, fear of future consequenc- es, and a progressive erosion of positive drug experiences.  Pull factors include exposure to positive recovery role mod- els (recovery carriers), recovery-specific family and social support, windows of opportunity for lifestyle change (e.g., re- location, job change), and emergence of new beliefs (e.g. religious conversion). I have argued in my earlier writings that recovery involves a process of reach- ing critical mass in a synergy of push (pain) and pull (hope) factors. Pain in the absence of hope within the context of addiction drives only sustained drug use and further self-destruction. Hope in the absence of pain in the context of addiction fuels only belief in one’s ulti- mate invulnerability and continued drug use and related excessive behaviors. It is in a uniquely personal ratio between pain and hope that one finds the spark of recovery commitment igniting into a sustainable fire. That recovery alchemy can come early or late in one’s addiction career, with such timing profoundly in- fluenced by one’s family and social envi- ronment. The future of recovery lies in a greater understanding of how these in- terior and exterior environments can be influenced to spark and sustain recovery commitment. The growing varieties of conditions from which such pain-hope synergies can be elicited are revealed in acts of recovery storytelling within diverse private, pro- fessional, and public settings. What they reveal is that recovery stability in the short-term can be challenging, but that the odds are stacked toward long-term success. As we develop a deeper under- standing of the natural world, it does become clearer that nature (life) will find a way. So will recovery, if given the op- portunity.         Of Potential Interest Kirkpatrick, J. (1986). Turnabout. New York: Bantam Books. White, W. (2012). The history of Secular Organizations for Sobriety—Save Our Selves: An  interview with James Chris- topher. Posted at www.williamwhitepa- pers.com and www.facesandvoicesofre- covery.org White, W., & Chaney, R. (1992). Met- aphors of Transformation: Feminine and Masculine. Bloomington, IL: Chest- nut Health Systems. Williams, C. with Laird, R. (1992). No Hiding Place: Empowerment and Re- covery for Troubled Communities. New York, NY: Harper San Francisco. NATUREWILL FIND A WAY; SOWILL RECOVERY! (William White, June 24, 2016) From the Sober Kitchen: Does the right hand know what the left hand is doing? Chef Kevin Ahhh… It’s a beautiful day. The sky is blue. The air is warm. It’s the weekend. All the yard work is done. I have the grill tool in my left hand and, wait! Nothing in my right hand?!? Oh no, I feel incomplete. I do not know how to cook outside with my right hand empty! Seriously though, this is a pretty realistic scenario that may cause us to consider drinking if not actually drink. I remember after being sober for a while, standing next to the grill on a Friday evening by the lake, listening to the powerboat scream across the lake and saying, “You know what? This is ridiculous. I drink. It’s how I unwind, it’s how I have fun, and it’s how I cook. I’m just that guy who drinks on a Friday.” Six hours later, I was in jail. I could have been better prepared for that moment. I know many of us heading into the summer months will have a similar moment. If I drill down to the truth, I drank all year long. I didn’t drink any more because it was summer. I think drinking more frequently in the summer is common for people that aren’t alcoholics and I took advantage of that. I blended in a little. One more truth I get a kick out of is the fact that walking in the hot sun pushing a mower in one hand while holding a beer in the other was fun. It was not. The truth is that the beer got all shook up, got hot and tasted awful. Ahhh summer… Now I’m going to stand out. If I go to all of the same functions and get-togethers and politely say, “No thanks,” people will notice. It’s really important to lay low for a while. The first year I didn’t do much summer socializing. Nevertheless there were some get-togethers I should have and did attend, like Mothers’ Day, birthdays and going-away parties. I did not do the typical drinking events like Memorial Day, Independence Day and Labor Day. Easier to explain why I couldn’t come than why I wasn’t drinking. So back to what to do with that empty hand. Many people in early recovery feel the need to fill the hand with a new beverage. I’ve never heard of that being a bad idea. I have a list of typical choices and why I think they are either good or bad. The first on the bad list is non-alcoholic beer. Filling the space with that is a bad idea. As someone once told me, “Of course we can’t drink that. It says right on the label that it’s for non- alcoholics!” It contains alcohol. Period. Second on the list is any beverage served in a rocks glass. It may seem like a good idea at first, maybe to blend in or whatever. I found that not only is it easy to mistake your glass for someone else’s it’s kind of like a little piece of denial. Pretending is not good for me now. I need to see thing as they are. It’s good for me. Second on the list of bad are certain flavors of pop (called soda in the rest of the world). The two main reasons are sugar and caffeine. Sugar is bad for so many reasons I don’t have enough time or room to go into it. Let’s just say it makes us feel better initially, then restless, irritable, and discontent shortly thereafter. The second reason is the caffeine. Caffeine is a drug. I talk to so many people in early recovery that can’t sleep and are anxious as heck. My first question is, “How much caffeine are you drinking?” The answers never surprise me neither does the quantity. When the young lady shared with me what her anxiety causes her to feel like, she in essence, described a panic attack. I asked her how much soda she was drinking and what is your drink of choice?’ Her answer was Diet Coke™ and no more than two 2-liters a day. I suggested she might just cut back a little… Turns out, she has insomnia. Can’t sleep so she needs something to help stay awake. Too much “help” staying awake and not able to sleep. It’s a very typical cycle many people are in, regardless of alcohol or drug addiction. I think one soda a day is realistic. Drinking Diet Coke™ all evening at a party can cause a headache. I went to listen to a band with friends one night, and drank diet soda the whole time. Turns out the combination of talking over loud music in a smoky bar and too much soda with caffeine can cause a hangover. I felt like I was hit by a truck the next day! Again, water would have been a better choice. Squirt™ or Fresca™ are pretty safe choices. They have flavor, no caffeine, bubbles (we just like a party!) and lower sugar than most. The fruit soda like orange or grape Crush™ have more sugar than twice the daily allowance, around 11 teaspoons. That’s the same as 17 Chips Ahoy™ cookies! My least favorite of the soda choices is Mountain Dew™. It is the natural choice for many in recovery because it satisfies the need for sugar and replacing the need for sleep. It contains more caffeine than any other soda. On the list of good beverage choices is water. I really had to get used to drinking it. Once my thirst was quenched, casually sipping for the sake of sipping was just plain boring. Reasons it’s good – it’s one of the only beverages that actually does quench your thirst; we need it to survive; the majority of our bodies are made up of water; and it’s cheap or even free. I think it’s funny that the more they take out of water the more it costs. If you dare drink from a tap you’ll get more minerals and actually pay nothing!. If you’re not a big fan of plain old water, then add a wedge of some kind of fruit. For some other quick quenchers, keep a good supply of juices, sodas and seltzers on hand to help create instant refreshment without fuss and to relieve the beverage boredom. Mix and match your own combinations but just be sure to refrain from using any mixer that may be a personal trigger for you. Here are a few ideas from The Sober Kitchen cookbook: ORANGEADE: 2 parts orange juice 1 part seltzer or club soda GRAPEFRUIT COOLER: 3 parts grapefruit juice 1 part seltzer or club soda PINEAPPLE PUNCH: 1 part pineapple juice 1 part orange juice 1 part ginger ale WHITE GRAPE PUNCH: 2 parts white grape juice 1 part seltzer or club soda lemon Some other fun beverages to make are homemade lemon- or limeade and, if you have a blender, fruit smoothies are also a good choice. Just go easy on the sugar and don’t drink them in a margarita glass! Here are some easy summer recipes: STRAWBERRY-BANANA SMOOTHIE: 1 c. fresh or frozen strawberries 1 ripe banana, cut into 1-inch pieces 1 Tbsp. sugar 1 c. milk LIMEADE: 1 c. fresh lime juice ¼ c. sugar 3 c. cold water ORANGE CREAMSICLE SMOOTHIE: 1 scoop orange sherbet or sorbet 8 oz vanilla yogurt 1 Tbsp honey ¼ c. milk The main issue is that if we need to fill our hand with something or give ourselves a treat after mowing the lawn, there are good choices and bad. I have found that over time, it is not necessary for me to have something in my hand to fit in. Believe it or not you may not be the only one not drinking alcohol. I know it’s shocking, but lots of people don’t drink! Enjoy summer!!
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    AUGUST/SEPTEMBER 2016  n LivingLarge12 LAUGHING Matters YOU are the most IMPORTANT person in your RECOVERY! “The roads to recovery are many and that the resolution of alcoholism by any method should be a cause for celebration by A.A. members.” – Bill Wilson, 1944 Recovery Allies recognizes that there are many pathways to recovery. Below are some that we know of.One way to advocate is to start one in your community!! Some of the many pathways n Alcoholics Anonymous – www.aa.org n Narcotics Anonymous – www.NA.org n Al-Anon – www.ola-is.org n Other A’s n Women in Sobriety – www.womenforsobriety.org n Men for Sobriety – www.womenforsobriety.org n Rational Recovery – www.rational.org n Moderation Management – www.moderation.org n HAMS – Harm Reduction Abstinence and Moderation Support – http://hamsnetwork.org n White Bison – www.whitebison.org n S.O.S Secular Organization for Sobriety – www.sossobriety.org n Life Ring – www.unhooked.com n SMART Recovery: Self-Management and Recovery Training-www.smartrecovery.org n Celebrate Recovery – www.celebraterecovery.com n HAHA – Health and Healing Advocate's n Pagans for Sobriety n All Recovery n Refuge Recovery Online Resources n Substance Abuse and Mental Health Administration (SAMHSA) – www.samhsa.gov n U.S. Department of Health and Human Services – www.hhs.gov n National Institute of Drug Abuse (NIDA) – www.drugabuse.gov n 24/7 Help Yourself – www.24/7helpyourself.com n Sober Recovery – www.soberrecovery.com n Cyber Recovery – www.cyberrecovery.net n Addiction Tribe – www.addictiontribe.net r p r p r p r p r p r p r p r p r a r a r a r a r a r a r a r a r a r p r a Recovery Palooza September 17th, 2016 West Michigan’s 10th Annual Celebration of Recovery Recovery Palooza is sponsored by Recovery Allies of West Michigan. We are a non-profit organization whose mission is to promote long- term recovery from substance use disorders through professional trainings, individual coaching, and community and family education. Recovery Allies is committed to cultivating diverse pathways to Recovery through community education, professional training and individual and family coaching. In collaboration with community partners, Recovery Palooza seeks to brings encourage an environment in West Michigan where Recovery thrives!! Music| Free Food | Games and Fun Activities Community Resource Tent Find us online: recoveryallies.us Like us on Facebook: facebook.com/recoverypalooza SAVE THE DATE!