Jesus was empathetic

JESUS WAS EMPATHETIC
EDITED BY GLENN PEASE
Question:"What does the Bible sayabout empathy?"
Answer: The Scriptures refer to the quality of empathy, which we see
demonstrated in severalbiblical narratives. Empathy is the capacityto feel
another person’s feelings, thoughts, or attitudes vicariously. The apostle Peter
counseledChristians to have “compassionforone another; love as brothers,
be tenderhearted, be courteous” (1 Peter3:8, NKJV). The apostle Paulalso
encouragedempathy when he exhorted fellow Christians to “rejoice with
those who rejoice;mourn with those who mourn” (Romans 12:15).
Empathy is related to sympathy but is narrowerin focus and is generally
consideredmore deeply personal. Compassion, sympathy, and empathy all
have to do with having passion(feeling) for another personbecause ofhis or
her suffering. True empathy is the feeling of actually participating in the
suffering of another.
The apostle John asked, “Ifanyone has material possessions andsees a
brother or sisterin need but has no pity on them, how can the love of God be
in that person?” (1 John 3:17). Pity in this verse is relatedto empathy, and
both require action. As Christians we are commanded to love our neighbor
and to have intense love for fellow believers (Matthew 22:39; 1 Peter4:8).
Though we intend to love one another, we often miss opportunities to relieve

others’ pain. That could be because we are unaware of others’ needs; or
perhaps we are not practicing empathy. Empathy is the key that canunlock
the door to our kindness and compassion.
There are severalexamples of empathy in actionin the Bible. Jesus was
always sensitive to the plight of others. Matthew tells us how Jesus, “whenhe
saw the crowds, . . . had compassionon them, because they were harassedand
helpless, like sheep without a shepherd” (Matthew 9:36). On another occasion,
Jesus observeda widow about to bury her only son. Sensing her pain (the
NLT says that Jesus’“heartoverflowedwith compassion”), He approached
the funeral processionand resurrectedthe young man (Luke 7:11–16). Having
lived a human life, our Lord can and does empathize with all of our
weaknesses(see Hebrews 4:15).
The word compassiondescribes the deep mercy of God. God is the very best
at empathy: “He knows how we are formed, he remembers that we are dust”
(Psalm 103:14). He personallyfeels the pain of His people:“You keeptrack of
all my sorrows. Youhave collectedall my tears in your bottle. You have
recordedeachone in your book” (Psalm56:8, NLT). How comforting it is to
know that God records all our tears and all our struggles!How goodto
remember God’s invitation to castall our cares upon Him, “because he cares
for you” (1 Peter5:7)! https://www.gotquestions.org/Bible-empathy.html
Why Christians Should Show Less Sympathy and More Empathy
Lori Freeland
Crosswalk.comContributor

Twelve years ago, on a sunny Tuesdaymorning, I dropped my younger kids
with a friend to run my oldestto the pediatrician’s office. I made the
appointment early, planning to take him to a specialbreakfastforjust the two
of us afterward.
Kyle had spent the summer battling headaches, fatigue, and various viruses.
Expecting a diagnosis similar to Mono, I was stunned when the doctor not
only informed me that Kyle and I wouldn’t be going out for bacon and eggs,
but that we wouldn’t even be going home.
Tears brimming in our doctor’s eyes, he instructed me to drive straight to the
children’s hospital, where he’d arrangedfor a pediatric oncologistto admit
Kyle to begin immediate chemotherapy.
Oncologist. Chemotherapy. Cancer.
Heart in my throat, lungs twist-tied, my brain refusing to fire, I couldn’t
process how in the world my 10-year-oldfit with those three words. Couldn’t
believe those words came out of my mouth when I calledmy husband and told
him to meet us there.
Those first few days in the hospital, while we waited for an officialdiagnosis,
crawledby like years. Curled on Kyle’s bed, I squeezedhis hand. Rubbed his
back. Bit my lip until it bled in an attempt to stifle tears that seemedto feed
his fear. All the while blindly promising him everything would be fine.
Fine. The hollow word rang in my ears every single time I repeatedit.
The diagnosis finally came 48 hours later—Acute Lymphoblastic Leukemia—
and Kyle was sentencedto three and a half years of chemo for a disease he
didn’t deserve. A disease no one deserves.

Crisis mode kickedin, adrenaline propelling me through the stagesofgrief.
What started as a surreal sense ofbeing numb quickly blossomedinto full-
blown terror.
Nights were the worst. My husband stayedwith our other kids. I stayedwith
Kyle, bent into a fetal position in a cotshoved next to his bed. Not only did I
not sleep, in my head I lived every secondof the life I was sure he wouldn’t
have. From little league tournaments to high schoolgraduation, marriage, and
grandchildren I would never meet.
On the outside, I did my best to become his rock. I stuck to an hourly cycle.
Cry in the hall. Reapply makeup. Paste ona smile. Be strong for Kyle. Repeat.
On the inside, any rocklike qualities I might’ve had crumbled the instant
cancerinvaded our lives.
During those first few days, a multitude of family and friends stepped up to
offer support, sit with us, and pray over us; the outpouring of love was
amazing.
But even as I was deeply grateful for how they rallied around us, nothing they
did made the slightestdent in my wall of panic and despair. Not the Starbucks
they brought. Notthe cards and gifts they sent. Not the words they said. Not
the hours they spent.
Everything felt empty. I felt empty. Hollow. Shrinking inside myself. Dying
inside a bubble of terror, an instant at a time.
By day four, my insides mirrored a pane of glass, spider-webbedwith cracks
etched from cornerto corner, seconds from exploding into shards.
That was the day I met Ann.
She knockedonKyle’s door while he was sleeping. Even though I had no idea
who she was, too exhausted to demand she go away, I nodded for her to come
in. From the secondshe entered my life and introduced herselfas a fellow
cancermom, we connectedon a soul-deeplevel.

I don’t know if it was the I’ve-slept-in-that-cot look in her eyes, the calming
way she sat next to me, or how she took my hand and said, “My son was
diagnosedwith leukemia 10 years ago. He’s healthy, happy, getting ready to
graduate college. Planning his wedding.”
Her cheeks wet, she squeezedmy hand. “Treatmentwas hell, but we made it
to the other side as stronger, better people. You will make it through. You will
survive. No matter what happens, you can do this.”
I burst into tears of hope and relief. The crush of an enormous weight I didn’t
even know I’d been carrying lifted enough to let me catcha full breath.
So what was the difference betweenthat one visit from Ann, and the constant
stream of visits from our family and friends? Why were Ann’s words able to
bring comfort when no one else’s had?
Sympathy versus empathy.
Our family and friends came out of love, bearing the right motivation,
wanting to help. But they didn’t getit. They didn’t feelit. Not to the depths
that my husband and Kyle and I did. We were stuck in the gritty trenches of
childhood cancer. Fromthe ledge above, they watchedus with sorrow and
pity.
Ann dropped down into our ugliness. Ann understood leukemia. She
understood Kyle. She understood me. She’d lived those first days. Survived
them.
Knowing I wasn’t the first mom to sleepin a cotwith a death grip on her son’s
hand—agonizing over how long we had together—knowing I wasn’talone,
penetrated my wall of panic and despair.
When we look down into someone else’strench and feel sorrow and sadness,
that’s sympathy. When we jump into that same trench and getdirty, that’s
empathy. The basic idea comes downto commiserationversus identification.

The same encouraging words canbe sharedby two different people, but the
words that echoedthrough my heart and changed my perspective always
came from someone who’d suffered.
Jesus is empathy’s perfect example. He didn’t come to earth to save us as
God, detachedand gazing down in sympathy and pity. He came as man, born
into the trenches, to live and suffer as a human. His empathy makes Him the
perfect sacrifice. The perfectbridge betweenGod and us.
The Bible tells us, “Forwe do not have a High Priest who cannotsympathize
with our weaknesses, but was in all points tempted as we are, yet without sin”
(Hebrews 4:15).
But we’re not Jesus. So how canwe identify with others going through
situations we’ve never encounteredface-to-face?Walk trenches we’ve never
been pushed into? Becausebasedon the way Jesus lived his life, that’s what I
believe He’s asking us to do as Christians. To put awaysympathy and
embrace empathy. That’s where true comfort lies.
“Praise be to the God and Fatherof our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of
compassionand the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so
that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves
receive from God” (2 Corinthians 1:3).
Maybe you have a friend going through a divorce while you’re happily
married. Know a person in your church suffering chronic, debilitating pain
while you’ve entered and won a marathon. Live next door to a neighbor who
lost their only child, when you have a houseful of healthy children.
We don’t all share the same life experiences. We neverwill. We can’t. So how
can we be like Ann and drop down into someone’s else trench? How can we
show empathy in any situation? How can we comfort eachother the way
Christ comforts us?

When you boil empathy down, you’re left with emotion. Identifying with the
heartbreak of pain and suffering, shame and rejection, heartache and loss.
Emotions most of us have experiencedat one time or another, in one form or
another, at one level or another.
The problem with true empathy is fear. Fearto feel. Nothing about the
intensity of those negative trench-like feelings inspires us to tuck them awayto
replay and relive. Mostof chooseinsteadto put them on lockdown. In a steel
vault. That we never plan to reopen.
But not Jesus. When He returned to the Father, he took every one of His
human experiences with Him. Bad and good. Notto forgetabout them, but to
use them for us.
“Forthis reason, he had to be made like them, fully human in every way, in
order that he might become a merciful and faithful high priest in service to
God, and that he might make atonement for the sins of the people. Becausehe
himself suffered when he was tempted, he is able to help those who are being
tempted” (Hebrews 2:17-18).
The next time someone youknow is hurting, what if you allowedyourself to
remember the ugliness of your own trenches? What if we, as Christians, were
brave enough to open the vault, unlock our pain, and use it to follow in Jesus’s
footsteps?
Empathy doesn’t require surviving the exactsame situation. Empathy
requires a willingness to wearthe same emotions. Becauseno matter what
label you slap on your particular trench, it’s still a dark pit. Lonely. Scary.
Hopeless. And a bunch of other destructive adjectives.
If we applied our trench-induced emotions to someone else’strench
experience, we could change the church as we changedlives.

Within the body of Christ, God doesn’texpect us to be everyone’s rock. But
He draws us to certain people. People we’re uniquely shaped to help. Look
around in your life. Then take the challenge. Put awayyour sympathy and
embrace your empathy.
Lord, show me who you’ve deliberately placed in my life. Then give me the
time, the effort, the energyto make a difference. Grow my sympathy into
Your empathy. Be my rock as I embrace the trenches in my past so I can
reachout in way that brings true comfort to others.
Lori Freelandis a freelance author from Dallas, Texas with a passionto share
her experiences in hopes of connecting with other women tackling the same
issues. She holds a bachelor's degree in psychologyfrom the University of
Wisconsin-Madisonand is a full-time homeschoolmom. You can find Lori at
lafreeland.com.
Jesus Christ, Lord of Empathy
Standard
Rejoice with those who rejoice, weepwith those who weep.
—Romans 12:15 ESV
I buried my parents four months apart. Losing any parent hits too close to
home, but losing them so close togetheronly amplifies the grief.
Recently, I heard that someone we know, a person much younger than me,
lost parents close together. Sitting here now, that kind of grief rises up again. I
know exactly how that personfeels. You’re cut loose. The world seems
emptier and disconnected. I know that feeling because I’ve been there.
As I mature in the Lord, I realize that no one gets a pass. You can’t walk
around this planet long before you experience death, illness, betrayal, loss,
and a host of other pains. Like ticks, painful realities cling to us and sapour
vital energies. A sheepso afflicted can’t remove the tick on its own.

And Jesus wentthroughout all the cities and villages, teaching in their
synagoguesand proclaiming the gospelof the kingdom and healing every
disease andevery affliction. When he saw the crowds, he had compassionfor
them, because they were harassedand helpless, like sheepwithout a shepherd.
Then he saidto his disciples, “The harvest is plentiful, but the laborers are
few; therefore pray earnestlyto the Lord of the harvest to send out laborers
into his harvest.”
—Matthew 9:35-38 ESV
We Evangelicalscan’tcede the humanity of Jesus Christ to the mainline
churches. We do a fine job of making Jesus the Christ, the Lord of All, but we
tend to forget Jesus gave up His place beside the Father to take on flesh and
the subsequentmisery of the helpless sheepHe came to save.
Since therefore the children share in flesh and blood, [Jesus]himself likewise
partook of the same things, that through death he might destroy the one who
has the power of death, that is, the devil, and deliver all those who through
fear of death were subject to lifelong slavery. For surely it is not angels that he
helps, but he helps the offspring of Abraham. Therefore he had to be made
like his brothers in every respect, so that he might become a merciful and
faithful high priest in the service of God, to make propitiation for the sins of
the people. Forbecause he himself has suffered when tempted, he is able to
help those who are being tempted.
—Hebrews 2:14-18 ESV
We don’t hear too much about Jesus our Brother in Evangelicalcircles, an
incalculable loss. Jesus’humanity drew people. They knew they could
approachHim. He wasn’tdistant and removed, but walkedamong us, giving
His life away, serving others.
He did this because atthe core of who He was beat a heart of empathy. The
very actof incarnation foreverlinked the Son of God with the people He
created. Incarnation embodies empathy for others. And Jesus notonly
displayed that empathy by taking on flesh, but by fully becoming one of us,
emotions and all:

Now when Mary came to where Jesus was and saw him, she fell at his feet,
saying to him, “Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died.”
When Jesus saw her weeping, and the Jews who had come with her also
weeping, he was deeply moved in his spirit and greatlytroubled. And he said,
“Where have you laid him?” They said to him, “Lord, come and see.” Jesus
wept. So the Jews said, “See how he loved him!”
—John 11:32-36 ESV
For those of us who bear the image of Christ, empathy for our fellow men—be
they believers or not—should permeate the core of who we are. Jesus felt
Mary and Martha’s loss. The loss of a friend drove Him to tears. Even though
He fully understood He could raise Lazarus from the dead, Jesus still showed
empathy. His lesson? No one, not even the Christ, should ever walk awayfrom
another’s pain.
People who call themselves Christians, but who so readily tear into another
person, display little of Christ’s empathy. Our lives should always be lived
with one eye on what it means to be someone else. Ultimately, Jesus, the Lord
of the Universe, did the same by becoming a man.
His empathy compels us to treat a man as if you or I were in his shoes. That
empathy drives The Golden Rule: Do unto others as you would have them do
unto you (Luke 6:31 rephrasing). Only then canwe humbly dispense grace to
those who so desperatelyneed it.
Lastly, the empathetic nature of God shows in one final verse:
We love because he first loved us. If anyone says, “Ilove God,” and hates his
brother, he is a liar; for he who does not love his brother whom he has seen
cannot love God whom he has not seen. And this commandment we have from
him: whoeverloves God must also love his brother.
—1 John 4:19-21 ESV

Empathy for others proves itself when we saywe love God, and vice versa.
The relationship betweenour love of God and our love for others cannotbe
severed, for empathy drives it.
As we roll into Thanksgiving and Christmas, step into someone else’slife. This
isn’t a call to overlook sin and how it leads to the shattered lives of people
around us, only that we show empathy first. You and I have no idea what kind
of living hell a person’s been through. Betterthat we empathize with him or
her first because we ourselves wentthrough our own hell. Without Christ
we’d all still be living that hell right now. Lead with that empathetic love. Feel
someone else’s painand truly mean it.
Christ felt ours all the way to the cross.
Relatedposts:
Being the Body: How to Forge RealCommunity, Part 1
100 Truths in 30 Years with Christ
The Fellowshipof His Sufferings
The Jesus Love Revolution
NeverGive Up
Date
November 16, 2006
Tags
Benevolence,Church Issues, Community, Dying to Self, Empathetic,
Empathy, Godhead, Godly Character, Jesus Christ, Love, Pain, Relevance,
Suffering

Comments
10 Comments
Postnavigation
An Island NeverCries
“She Just Quit”
10 thoughts on “Jesus Christ, Lord of Empathy”
David Riggins
Dan-
Once againyou’ve picked a hard one…Lastnight during our worship team
practice our team leaderaskedus what spiritual needs we had. All of us were
ready to calling out the usual litany of physical needs: A friend whose baby
died, another with cancer, sickness, jobloss…Butthe infamous crickets sang
loudly at the call for spiritual needs.
We humans have two hungers. As Christians, we must be able to recognize
both. Can we recognize divorce, alcoholabuse, prostitution, drug abuse,
internet addiction, child abuse, racism, road rage and all the other symptoms
of spiritual starvation as well as we canrecognize the bloated bellies and
skeletalarms of a starving child?
Jesus did. He put his hand on the untouchable, and listened to the heart of a
Samaritan womanwithout condemnation. His heart was for the lost, and he
gave the example of leaving the 99 that were already his and to go searching
for the one that was lost.
November 16, 2006 at9:01 am

Reply
Dan Edelen
David,
We’re too afraid of the spiritual needs question because answering it honestly
in public means exposing the cracks in our own armor (or lack of it).
If our churches could ever get over that hump, it would be glorious!
Reply
francisco
Empathy? Yes. Overlooking sin? No. Good points. I would only add one or
two
1. Pray that Godopen our/their hearts and minds to understand the whole
counselof God
2. Our gooddeeds -flowing out of gratitude rather than trying to blacmail
God with them- are one of the means by which others can acknowledgeGod
and perhaps quicken to glorify Him. Here there is a goodsermonby John
Piper
http://www.desiringgod.org/ResourceLibrary/Sermons/ByDate/1981/290_The
_Local_Church_Minimum_Vs_Maximum/
which he concludes this way:
“The era of comfortable isolationfor us American evangelicalsis ending,
because its justification is crumbling and because the misery and destitution
of the world is coming too close now to ignore. And as it approaches, local
churches in whom the Spirit of God dwells will feel themselves drawn to some
fairly radical reorientations of lifestyle, reorientations calculatedto maximize

gooddeeds for all men and especiallyfor those of the householdof faith.(…)
God willing we will not be contentwith minimum church. We will become a
greatchurch, a greatservantchurch, filled with maximum good deeds in the
name of Jesus. That’s the localchurch we have to be if we want to display the
wisdom and powerof God to the principalities and powers. That’s what we
have to be in our new era if we want to hear a credible witness that moves
people to glorify our Father in heaven. “
Reply
Dan Edelen
Francisco,
That Piper quote rocks my world. It would be great if Piper, who is so
admired in Reformed circles, couldspearheadthe kind of move he’s
discussing.
Though the 1981 date on that sermonmakes me wonder what we’ve
accomplishedin 25 years, I still hold out hope.
Reply
Peyton
Overlooking sin? No.
The idealism of empathy falls apart right here! If I canfind some “greatsin”
in you, then I do not have to be empathetic toward you. If you are a Liberal, a

Universalist, or, gasp, a Roman Catholic, I have the right to insist that you
change. I have the right not to understand you.
Last night was the Community Thanksgiving Service. Pastors from five of the
eight localcongregations (not churches)participated. I hope that some day all
eight will participate, so that the localchurch is embodied. Becauseis is
scandalous that we workship togetherseparately.
Reply
PeterSmythe
Dan, Jesus’s active obediencein His life of faith was a large part of the
Church’s theologyin the first 300 years. It appears that much of His human
aspects, besidesjust the fact that He was man, was lostin the Arian
Controversy. We would do well to return to examining His life of faith and
obedience in the flesh. Also, Hebrews demonstrates that the High Priestonly
qualifies as High Priestby sharing in our infirmities.
Reply
David Riggins
Something occurredto me as I was making some revisions on a study of
Jonah. The whole purpose of Jonah’s exercise in humility was because ofthe
compassionofGod. We are so used to the bloodthirsty God of the Old
Testementthat we forgetthe compassionGodhas for the lost. In this case, the
lost city of Ninevah. “Should I not be concerned?” AskedGodof Jonah. Jesus
said to his disciples that it was His job to do the will of the One who sent Him.

God’s will is to comfort the lost. In Isaiah58 God asks, “Is not this the kind of
fasting I have chosen:to loose the chains of injustice and untie the cords of the
yoke, to setthe oppressedfree and break every yoke? Is it not to share your
food with the hungry and to provide the poor wandererwith shelter– when
you see the naked, to clothe him, and not to turn awayfrom your own flesh
and blood?”
Do those lines sound familiar? Those actions, according to Jesus in Matthew
25, seperate the savedfrom the lost.
Reply
RameshKumar
Love as empathy is the love that Jesus talks about. This love is the supreme
emotion and the first step of loving is to look at someone without reaction,
until you begin to empathize. The other’s mind resonates in yours and you
become empathically one with the other. There ‘your self’ disappears. Your
brain becomes a sensitive receiverof other’s psychologicalstates. Relationship
characterisedby empathic fusion with others is the basis of creative social
development.
Love your neighbour. Love thy enemy.
Then your self ceases to exist
Then you enter the Kingdom of Heaven
http://ceruleansanctum.com/2006/11/jesus-christ-lord-of-empathy.html
4 Bible Passages ThatLeave No Doubt About the Importance of Empathy

Aug 8, 2018 |
Christian Living Relationships & Community
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Empathy is woven deep into the fabric of Scripture. Virtually every
instruction God offers regarding the way we’re to treat others begins with
empathy. As we live in community, and seek to reflect Christ, it’s important
that we continue to read the Bible and listen to the biblical definition of
empathy. Here are four examples.
“All of you be of one mind” (1 Peter3:8).
The “one mind” that the apostle Peterrefers to in this passageis the mind of
Christ, which is what all Christians aspire to have. But Peter’s callfor unity
among believers cannotbe answeredwithout empathy and understanding. In
order to be one with other people, we must develop a deep understanding of
who they are
how they became that person
what they know
how they learned it
what they hold dear
why they hold it dear
how they feel
why they feelthat way.

According to Peter, oneness is createdby treating one anotherwith
compassion, love, tenderness and courtesy—fourqualities that lie at the heart
of empathy.
“Rejoicewith those who rejoice, and weepwith those who weep” (Romans
12:15).
Those who rejoice usually do so because goodthings are happening in their
lives. If we’re not careful, other people’s rejoicing can trigger feelings of
competition or jealousy. The urge to “top” others with stories of our own
successes—orto wallow in envy because we don’t have as much to rejoice
over—canbe hard to resist.
Those who weepusually do so because they’ve suffered a devastating loss or
misfortune. That cancreate some messyemotional landscapes. It’s nearly
impossible to tread into the lives of hurting people without getting our hands
dirty. The urge to stay out of the mess—to sendour thoughts and prayers
from a safe distance—canbe hard to resist.
But that’s not what empathy is, and that’s not what Godcalls us to.
“Jesus wept” (John11:35).
Jesus knew He was going to raise Lazarus from the dead. So technically
speaking, He knew there was no reasonfor Lazarus’ loved ones to mourn. He
knew that in a matter of minutes, their tears would turn to joy. So Jesus
would have been excusedfor rolling His eyes and shaking His head over the
people’s reactionto something so … temporary.
Yet Jesus didn’t give Lazarus’ mourners the side-eye. He didn’t try to talk
them out of their grief. He didn’t chide them for their lack of faith. Jesus saw
people who were hurting, and it made Him hurt, too. He empathized so
strongly with those who were mourning that He wept.
“We do not have a High Priestwho cannot sympathize with our weaknesses”
(Hebrews 4:15).
The book of Hebrews presents Jesus as a defense attorney of sorts. He
represents His followers before God the Judge. While Satan, the prosecuting

attorney, levels charges againstus, demanding that God punish our sins, Jesus
rebuts his accusationsby reminding God that His (Jesus’)blood covers our
offenses.
What makes Jesus anespeciallyeffective Counselorand Defender is His
experience on earth. He expertly represents us before God because He
empathizes with us. He knows what it is to be tempted and weak. He
understands us because He experiencedwhat we experience and endured
what we endure.
https://www.thomasnelsonbibles.com/four-bible-passages-that-leave-no-
doubt-importance-empathy/
A Sermon from
Valley Covenant Church
Eugene, Oregon
by PastorSteve Bilynskyj
Copyright © 2003 by Stephen S. Bilynskyj
John 11:35
“The Empathy of Jesus”
October12, 2003 - Eighteenth after Pentecost
It was an unbearably steamyAugust afternoon in New York City, the
kind of sweatyday that makes people sullen with discomfort. I was heading
back to a hotel, and as I stepped onto a bus up MadisonAvenue I was startled
by the driver, a middle-aged black man with an enthusiastic smile, who
welcomedme with a friendly, “Hi! How you doing?” as I got on, a greeting he
proffered to everyone else who entered as the bus wormed through the thick
midtown traffic. Eachpassengerwas as startledas I, and, lockedinto the
morose mood of the day, few returned his greeting.

But as the bus crawleduptown through the gridlock, a slow, rather
magicaltransformation occurred. The driver gave a running monologue for
our benefit, a lively commentary on the passing scene around us: there was a
terrific sale at that store, a wonderful exhibit at this museum, did you hear
about the new movie that just openedat the at cinema down the block? His
delight in the rich possibilities the city offeredwas infectious. By the time
people gotoff the bus, eachin turn had shakenof the sullen shell they had
entered with, and when the driver shouted out a “So long, have a great day!”
eachgave a smiling response.[1]
That story begins a 1995 non-fiction bestseller by Daniel Goleman. A
decade before, Howard Gardner had arguedthat there is more than one kind
of intelligence. [2] There is not just one overarching intellectual ability which
can be measuredby an IQ test. Instead there is a whole variety of
intelligences, from logicaland mathematical understanding, to graspof
language, to bodily, athletic ability, to musicaltalent.
Golemanthen popularized other people’s work on human emotion[3] to
bring to public attention the conceptof “emotionalintelligence.” This is what
he wrote about that bus driver:
…Psychologicalscienceknew little or nothing of the mechanics of emotion.
And yet, imagining the spreading virus of goodfeeling that must have rippled
through the city, starting from passengersonhis bus, I saw that this bus
driver was an urban peacemakerofsorts, wizardlike in his powerto
transmute the sullen irritability that seethedin his passengers,to soften and
open their hearts a bit.[4]
In the language I have been using in this series of sermons, the bus driver,
probably with only a high schooleducationand average intelligence ofthe IQ
sort, was an emotionalgenius. He understood and could work with people on
the level of feeling in a waythat exceeds the abilities of many of us.
Today I invite you to considerJesus Christ as an emotional genius. For
ten weekspreceding, we have lookedatHis intellectual abilities in a variety of
realms. Now it’s time to recognize that His brilliance is not all of the mind.
The heart of Jesus has an intelligence and genius of its own. As we hear in our

brief text, our Lord did not interactwith others solelyon the basis of reason
and thought. He demonstrates a compassionand love which transform the
hearts of others just as much as His intelligence transforms our minds.
There are other passages in the Gospels whichshow us Jesus
experiencing deep emotion, but this is the most profound, the most touching.
It’s probably also the most familiar. Generations ofchildren have learnedthat
John 11:35 is the shortestverse in the Bible. “Jesus wept.” In just two short
words, it speaks ofhidden depths of Godrevealed to us here in the human
flesh of Christ His Son. It shows us a kind of genius in our Lord which reaches
all the deepestplaces in our own beings.
The scene ofthis two-wordverse is the death and raising of Jesus’friend
Lazarus, the brother of Mary and Martha. Chapter 11 of John is devoted to
this story. ForJohn it is, in fact, the turning point of Jesus’missionon earth.
Go to the end of the chapter and you will discoverthat it is raising Lazarus
which sealedJesus’fate. It was that miracle which finally resulted in a plot to
kill Him. The Pharisees andchief priests realized that a man who raises the
dead would capture the hearts of the people and take awaytheir own power.
So they began to plan His death.
This chapter is filled with hard questions and strong emotions. At the
beginning, Jesus was notified in plenty of time to come to Lazarus and heal
him before he died. Yet he deliberately delays. At the same time, going back to
Judea, to the town of Bethany where Lazarus lives is dangerous. Jesus had
already nearly been stoned to death there. The disciples are frightened at the
prospect. But then Jesus decides to go anyway. In verse 16, Thomas the
pessimistutters to them all one of his characteristicallygloomylines, “Let us
also go, that we may die with him.”
Martha is the sisterwho greets Jesus uponHis arrival. Like the disciples
she also cannotunderstand why Jesus did not come more quickly. She believes
He could have savedher brother if only He had arrived in time. But now
Lazarus has been dead four days. Now, it is too late, she implies in verse 21.
But in verse 22 there is the spark of a faith which goes beyond what she knows

or sees oreven hopes for. She says to Jesus, “Iknow that even now God will
give you whateveryou ask.”
I love reading that conversationbetweenJesus and Martha. Jesus tells
her that her brother will rise again. Martha expresses herfaith in what many
Jews ofthat time believed, that there will someday be a generalresurrection
of all the faithful. What Jesus saidto her then, we now sayat every Christian
funeral service. Jesus toldher, “I am the resurrectionand the life. He who
believes in me will live, even though he dies; and whoeverlives and believes in
me will never die.” Then Jesus askedMartha if she believed this.
Though it often goes unnoticed, Martha’s answeris excellent. In verse 27
she replies, “I believe that you are the Christ, the Son of God, who was to
come into the world.” Those are almostthe same words used by Peterin his
own celebratedconfession. Here it is a woman who attains to recognitionof
the full identity of Jesus, as clearas that of the best of the twelve male
disciples.
Then her sister, Mary, comes to Jesus. Like Martha she bemoans the fact
that Jesus did not come sooner. She begins to cry. In sympathy, the others
there to comfort the family are weeping as well. And now appears the
emotional genius of Jesus.
Jesus knew what He was going to do. That is absolutelyapparent from
everything He’s said and done up to that point. He didn’t hurry to Lazarus’
side because He knew that his dying didn’t matter. He told Martha that
Lazarus would be raised. He identified Himself as the resurrectionand the
life. It all implies that raising the dead man would be soonerrather than later.
Jesus knew His friend would not be dead much longer. Yet He explained none
of that to Mary or the others.
One of my own observations aboutemotional intelligence is that, in
general, womenhave more of it than men. We males are constantlybumping
into that factas we try to interact with others in cognitive terms when feeling
is what’s calledfor.

A primary example is the male tendency to recognize a problem and
then apply brain powerand technicalskill to resolve it. Sometimes that is
exactly the right thing to do. Beth calls me and tells me her car is stuck
because the battery is dead. I know exactly what to do. I can and should shift
into male problem-solving mode. I show up like a white knight with the
jumper cables, apply my rudimentary mechanicalskills, and getthe thing
running. My wife will is grateful.
However, when I come home and Beth greets me with a tale of troubles
with a student in the class she teaches, problem-solving mode is a mistake. If I
respond to her woes with a critical examination of her teaching methods,
complete with tips for improving them, or with a psychologicalanalysis ofthe
student along with suggestionsfor how to pass him off to the dean or
something like that, Beth won’t be gratefulat all. I will soonknow that I’ve
blown it. The male instinct to apply intellect and fix things is not always the
most intelligent response. Whatis needed sometimes is empathy and feeling,
not a solution. Sometimes the right response is emotional.
That is why Jesus’first offering to Mary, Martha and the restof the
mourners is not a fix for their problem. Instead of laying out the miraculous
solution to their sorrow which He is about to give them, He enters into their
sorrow with His own emotions. Not just in verse 35, but in verses 33 and 38 we
see Jesus responding to the emotional needs of those He loved with deep
feeling of His own.
The New International Version translation of 33 and 38 says that Jesus
was “deeply moved” by the experience ofbeing there with Mary and the
others as they wept for Lazarus. That’s an attempt to softenthe literal
meaning of the Greek word. It sounds as if the emotion which moved Him is
grief or something like it. But it actually says that Jesus was angry. He wasn’t
just sad, He was furious. As a human being He was being forcedto confront
the pain and anguish of people He loved. It made Him mad.
His angerwas at death, at grief, at all the tears shed by His friends and
very likely for all the tears that had and would be shed on earth. He rebelled

at the thought that those around Him were troubled by death and would one
day themselves die. It made Him angry. It broke His heart.
So He wept. He was, as verse 33 is translated accurately, “troubled.” He
felt anger, frustration, and sympathetic grief. All the pain and anguish of this
family who had loved and caredfor Him became His own. It did not matter
that He had in His head the answerto it all, that He could make it all better
with a wave of His hand. It did not matter that He knew within minutes
Lazarus would step from his tomb and be embraced againby his sisters. That
did not remove the pain He suffered in His own heart to see the sorrow and
tears of those around Him.
I realize that to callit a kind of intelligence could take awaysome of the
powerof those words, “Jesus wept.” “Emotionalintelligence”sounds to us
like an oxymoron, because we associateintelligence with dispassionate
reasoning, with cold logic. To say that Jesus weptbecause He was an
emotional genius may imply for you that He somehow “calculated” the proper
response, like I might try to figure out whether my wife in a particular
situation wants problem solving or sympathy from me. But that is not how
true emotionalgenius works at all. It’s not an act of the head, of some sortof
“fuzzy logic” offeelings. It is a well of true compassion, ofreallove, springing
up out of the centerof a person’s heart. That is what Jesus had in abundance,
whateveryou call it.
“Jesus wept” means Jesus cares. As the children’s song goes, “Jesus
loves me, this I know, for the Bible tells me so.” Becausethe Bible tells me that
He wept, I know He loves me. He cried for one dead man and for his
sorrowing sisters. And He cries for all the death and all the sorrow of our
lives. He cries for you. He’s crying for your sins and for your heartaches and
for every pain you experience. He’s crying for your friends and neighbors that
do not know Him as they struggle with their own sorrows. He is crying and
His tears are our hope. It is in large measure His sorrow that makes Him the
greatestgenius that ever lived, that makes Him our Resurrectionand Life.
This deep, anguishing, compassionate, loving emotional genius of Jesus is
the reasonthat He does not usually offer us immediate solutions to our

problems. He knows with all His being what I only vaguely glimpse at home –
that true help is not always a matter of fixing things. Sometimes it is simply a
matter of being there and sharing the pain.
Think about those people who helped you in the worsttimes of your life.
Let me hazard the guess that some of the best care you receiveddid not
amount to much of anything in terms of pragmatic help. Someone may have
picked your kids up at schoolor showedup on your doorstepwith supper or
given you a few dollars to pay a bill. But the real help was not what she did,
but the fact that she was there. The understanding, the tears that fell from her
eyes, the arm around your shoulder, that was what truly made the difference,
not any “fix” she was able to make to your problem. As RobertFarrar Capon
puts it, “It was her presence, notthe things she did, that made the
difference.”[5]
The genius of Jesus is to make the loving person of God entirely present
to us as human beings. God is not in the business of fixing now all the stuff
that is broken in our lives. What He does do in Jesus Christis to come right
into middle of it and live it with us. When we weep, He weeps.
Ultimately, Jesus is present with us in human life in the most complete
and final way possible. At the penultimate moment, He gives us not a solution,
not a fix, not an answerto sin and death, but His own true presence in it all.
Jesus weptand because He wept, He died. Capon says, “Whenwe are helpless,
there he is. He doesn’t start your stalledcar for you; he comes and dies with
you in the snowbank.”[6]
As I once said in my infamous “basketballsermon” on this passage, the
tears of Jesus are a wonderful thing. He’s in the game with you. He wants you
to play for all you’re worth, but He’s with you. And when you feel like you’re
losing, He cares. He cares and He weeps. He cares so much He was willing to
die with you.
The story about the bus driver is from the forward to Daniel Goleman’s
book on emotionalintelligence. But this is the story which actually begins the
text of the book in chapter 1. Goleman writes:

Ponder the lastmoments of Gary and Mary Jane Chauncey, a couple
completely devoted to their eleven-year-olddaughter Andrea, who was
confined to a wheelchairby cerebralpalsy. The Chauncey family were
passengers onan Amtrak train that crashedinto a river after a barge hit and
weakeneda railroad bridge in Louisiana’s bayou country. Thinking first of
their daughter, the couple tried their best to save Andrea as water rushed into
the sinking train; somehow they managedto push Andrea through a window
to rescuers. Then, as the carsank beneath the water, they perished.[7]
That is what Goleman holds up as his first and primary example of
emotional intelligence. Dying for your child. That is exactly what Jesus did
more than any other thing. He died for His children, for you and for me. He
came. He wept. He died. That’s His genius. That, as John’s Gospelteachus, is
His glory. In the presence of Jesus we are in the presence oftrue genius,
because in Him we are in the presence oftrue love.
Of course, as we remember every Easter, the story of Jesus doesn’tend
with dying. Ultimately He does have an answer. He will fix every problem we
manage to create for ourselves. He went to the tomb and raised Lazarus from
the dead. But first He wept. Lazarus coming forth waited for love and
compassionto come forth. Fixing us takes back seatto loving us.
Jesus will somedayfix everything. He proved He cando it. He fixed them
for Mary, Martha and Lazarus. He Himself rose from the dead – proving that
death and sorrow and pain can all be fixed. Every now and then, He fixes
something for you and me. But what matters most of all right now is that He’s
here, just as He was with Mary and Martha, ready to weepwith us before
anything ever gets fixed. The great day is coming when He raises us all and
makes all things well. Until then, He weeps. That’s genius. That’s love.
Amen.
Valley Covenant Church
Eugene/Springfield, Oregon
Copyright © 2003 by Stephen S. Bilynskyj

Empathy
Romans 12:15 ESV / 375 helpful votes
Rejoice with those who rejoice, weepwith those who weep.
Ephesians 4:32 ESV / 272 helpful votes
Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in
Christ forgave you.
1 Peter3:8 ESV / 255 helpful votes
Finally, all of you, have unity of mind, sympathy, brotherly love, a tender
heart, and a humble mind.
Matthew 7:12 ESV / 210 helpful votes
“So whateveryou wish that others would do to you, do also to them, for this is
the Law and the Prophets.
John 15:12 ESV / 170 helpful votes
“This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you.
Ephesians 4:29 ESV / 141 helpful votes
Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is goodfor
building up, as fits the occasion, thatit may give grace to those who hear.
Galatians 6:2 ESV / 138 helpful votes
Bearone another's burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.
1 Corinthians 12:26 ESV / 124 helpful votes

If one member suffers, all suffer together;if one member is honored, all
rejoice together.
Colossians 3:12 ESV / 114 helpful votes
Put on then, as God's chosenones, holy and beloved, compassionatehearts,
kindness, humility, meekness, and patience,
John 11:33-35 ESV/ 114 helpful votes
When Jesus saw her weeping, and the Jews who had come with her also
weeping, he was deeply moved in his spirit and greatlytroubled. And he said,
“Where have you laid him?” They said to him, “Lord, come and see.” Jesus
wept.
Hebrews 4:15 ESV / 104 helpful votes
For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our
weaknesses, but one who in every respecthas been tempted as we are, yet
without sin.
Philippians 2:3 ESV / 102 helpful votes
Do nothing from rivalry or conceit, but in humility count others more
significant than yourselves.
Matthew 9:36 ESV / 94 helpful votes
When he saw the crowds, he had compassionforthem, because they were
harassedand helpless, like sheep without a shepherd.
Hebrews 4:14-16 ESV / 87 helpful votes
Since then we have a greathigh priest who has passedthrough the heavens,
Jesus, the Son of God, let us hold fastour confession. Forwe do not have a
high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who in
every respecthas been tempted as we are, yet without sin. Let us then with
confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and
find grace to help in time of need.
2 Corinthians 1:3-4 ESV / 84 helpful votes

Blessedbe the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies
and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may
be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which
we ourselves are comforted by God.
Does the Bible sayanything about empathy?
Empathy, which should not be confusedwith sympathy, is the ability to
understand the emotions, situations, thoughts, or attitudes of another person.
It takes greatemotionalcapacityto be able to feelwhat others feel, and while
this comes easierforsome than for others, we can all practice participating in
the emotions of others as a way of loving them.
The Bible frequently refers to acts of empathy. Loving one another often
means becoming deeply personal with eachother, and we see this in the
Scriptures as Paul encouragedChristians to "Rejoicewith those who rejoice,
weepwith those who weep" (Romans 12:15). By sharing these emotions, we
live life togetheras a Christian family, through all of the ups and downs. The
apostle Peteralso encouragedChristians to show compassionto others by
having "unity of mind" and a "tender heart" (1 Peter 3:8).

Empathy is often the catalystfor action. The apostle John phrases this
relationship betweenempathy and action in this way: "But if anyone has the
world's goods and sees his brother in need, yet closeshis heart againsthim,
how does God's love abide in him?" (1 John 3:17). The love of God leads us to
compassion(and empathy) for one another. If we do not have compassionon
those who need material possessionsorfood or water, we are far less likely to
act. Although we have intention of acting as God's hands and feet in this
world, we often miss opportunities because we lack the empathy to perceive
needs. Christians are called to love one another earnestly (Matthew 22:39;1
Peter4:8). One way we canbegin to love others is to practice growing our
empathy so we can understand eachother.
Of course, Jesus is our bestexample of empathy. He was born as a human so
He could experience every human emotion (Hebrews 4:15). We can rejoice
that Jesus has complete empathy for what we go through in our lives. The
Gospels are full of stories of Christ showing compassiononpeople who need
it. In Luke 7:11–16, Jesussaw a widow's pain and was filled with compassion
for her. He felt her deep sorrow and grief and brought her son back to life,
and everyone there glorified God because they saw how He understands and
heals pain. Jesus was always sensitive to others'experiences and stories
(Matthew 9:36).
Just as we are able to show love because Godfirst loved us (1 John 4:19), we
are also able to show empathy because Godis the greatestempathizer. David
cried out to God in the Psalms, and his poetry teaches us how God intimately
understands us. "You have keptcount of my tossings;put my tears in your
bottle. Are they not in your book?" (Psalm56:8). We can be comforted
through knowing that God has the capacityto know our eachand every
struggle and emotion. We can castour anxieties on Him because He cares for
us (1 Peter5:7).
https://www.compellingtruth.org/Bible-empathy.html

Bible verses about Jesus Christ's Empathy
(From Forerunner Commentary)
Hebrews 2:16-18
Barclaycomments: "He came as a man; he came seeing things with men's
eyes, feeling things with men's feelings, thinking things with men's minds. God
knows what life is like, because Godcame right inside life" (p. 104). Jesus
Christ is not remote, detached, and disinterested, nor insulated and isolated
from our lives. He knows our frame; He knows that we are but dust. He can
see in us a reflectionof what He experiencedas a man. He canthus extend
mercy to us, completelyunderstanding what we are going through.
John W. Ritenbaugh
The Beatitudes, Part5: BlessedAre the Merciful
1 Peter4:1-6
The apostle is speaking aboutthe efficacyof Christ's suffering and death in
making possible a relationship betweenGod and human beings. His
conclusion, beginning in I Peter4:1-2, is that, since Christ suffered so much to
bring this about, Christians should respond by "ceas[ing]from sin" and living
"for the will of God."
This means, of course, that in doing so, we no longerlive as we used to, like
the "Gentiles,"like the world (verse 3). Seeing this, our friends who are still in

the world wonder why our lives have changedso drastically, and they are
likely to malign us for it (verse 4). But we need not worry because God, the
just Judge, will bring them into accountfor their abuses of us (verse 5). In
verse 6, he winds up his discussionby providing a generalexample to give us
hope in this regard. He explains that the gospelhad been preachedin the past
to people who are now dead, and even though their contemporaries may have
judged them worthy to suffer persecutionand death, God, conversely, has
judged them worthy of eternallife. He implies that God would do the same for
us.
Richard T. Ritenbaugh
Jesus and 'the Spirits in Prison'
Learning to Emulate the Empathy of Jesus
By Fred McKinnon -
March 7, 2013
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Do you ever have those moments when simple things in life teachyou
something much more profound? Do you ever have moments when you realize

that your eyes were enlightened, your heart softened, and your understanding
increased?
In our church we call those moments in time “Kairos” moments.
I had a simple, yet inspiring, kairos moment a few weeksago. I’d like to share
it with you as I believe it will possibly be a kairos moment for you!
As I bloggedabout a few weeks ago,our church had a big worship night. Our
“Night of Worship” events happen three to four times per year at SSCC and
require an immense amount of effort, planning and rehearsing. We spent over
10 hours rehearsing that week alone. The services are typically around 1 1/2
hours long and have as many as 12 or more songs and additional creative
elements that weave the service together.
I picked a few songs that would include brass and recruited some horn
players. I arranged the songs and composedthe trumpet parts and felt a big
excitement for this specialaddition to our band. Then Allan, my first trumpet
player, reachedout to me before our first rehearsalto notify me he’d come
down with the flu. He wasn’t going to make it and, ultimately, never made it
that week atall.
On Friday morning before the Sunday service I gota call from Beth, a singer
who was returning to the worship team after many years off. Beth is an
amazing singer and I’d found a song that would potentially be the “high water
mark” of our night and she was the featured soloist. Beth’s voice was low and
weak as she explained to me that she’d come down with a severe caseof
bronchitis.
I beganto see allof my planning and ideas unravel in my mind. I felt the
tension of the moment rise up in me as I comfortedher and said we’d be fine.

Then, in a matter of seconds, allof my worry and stress aboutthe weekend
was washedawaywith a surging flood of empathy.
Empathy. Something I’m not really well-knownfor. Something I don’t usually
relate to.
But I was experiencing it in grand proportion. I was filled with empathy for
Allan and Beth. Why?
The first two weeks ofJanuary were some of the hardest I’ve encounteredin
years. I had a horrible case ofthe flu which resulted in a sinus infection, ear
infection, and a severe caseofbronchitis with a coughthat lastednearly three
weeks.
I knew EXACTLY how both Allan and Beth felt. I wouldn’t wish this on
anyone.
As I baskedin this rare (and hopefully less rare in the future) moment of
empathy the Holy Spirit reminded me of this verse:
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For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our
weaknesses, but one who in every respecthas been tempted as we are, yet was
without sin. (Hebrews 4:15)
As this empathy flooded my soul I had my kairos. Jesus Christis completely
empathetic towards our sufferings.
The empathy that I felt was comforting when I compared it to what Jesus feels
towards me …

Every time I’m tempted.
Every time I cave in and fail.
Every time I’m hurt by words or rejection.
Every time I’m frustrated or lose my temper.
Every time I’m sick in my body or soul.
Every time I doubt or lose faith.
He understands. He isn’t frustrated with me. He isn’t angry with me. He
understands. And He’s cheering for me. He’s on my side.
Guess what? He’s on your side too.
EMPATHY “the Comforter”
Definitions • Empathy is the “identification with and understanding of
another's situation, feelings, and motives.” • Empathy is your pain in my
emotional side of life. • “So long as you cansweetenanother’s pain, life is not
in vain,” Helen Keller • Empathy and Sympathy – Sympathy has a
connotationof intellectual understanding and pity while empathy implies
deeply personalidentification on an emotionallevel. • Empathy and
Compassion– Compassionis the action side of empathy. We feel empathy and
show compassion. • Empathy and Discernment (Judgment) – Empathy must
not exclude sound judgment. While we need empathy to deeply love others, we
cannot allow empathy to be the sole guide to our response to people. A. The
dangers associatedwith empathy 1. The generallack of emotionalsensitivity
– The inability to be deeply “in touch” with the a. The Sociopathic personality
– May not have the ability to share the feelings of others or to be aware of how
they impact those around them. b. The Intellectual personality – May
objectify all of life and fail to appreciate the role of subjective emotions in life

decisions. 2. The misdirected emotionalsensitivity – Emotional health (being
“in touch” with the feeling side of life) can be accompaniedby immaturity in
other areas. a. The Boundary challengedpersonality – May empathize
quickly, easily, and fully with those around them. But they cantoo easilyallow
the feelings of others to control their agenda without discerning the limits of
their responsibility.
Key question
How important is empathy to the Christian messageand life?
Key text
Hebrews 4:15
“Forwe do not have a high priest who cannot sympathize with our
weaknesses, but One who has been tempted in all things as we are, yet without
sin.”
Empathy 2 b. The Narcissistic personality – May be so preoccupied with
their own hypersensitivity that they have little energyto direct to the feelings
of others. c. Projection – We can projectour own personality, temperament,
and experience onto others in ways that are unrealistic, harmful to them and
ourselves. We are not all alike and we do not experience circumstances in the
same way. B. Illustrations • Hosea 1:2 “When the Lord first spoke through
Hosea, the Lord said to Hosea, ‘Go, take to yourself a wife of harlotry and
have children of harlotry; for the land commits flagrant harlotry, forsaking
the Lord.’” • Acts 6:1-6 “1 Now at this time while the disciples were increasing
{in number,} a complaint arose on the part of the Hellenistic {Jews}against
the {native} Hebrews, because their widows were being overlookedin the
daily serving {of food.} 2 And the twelve summoned the congregationofthe
disciples and said, "It is not desirable for us to neglectthe word of God in
order to serve tables. 3 But selectfrom among you, brethren, sevenmen of

goodreputation, full of the Spirit and of wisdom, whom we may put in charge
of this task. 4 But we will devote ourselves to prayer, and to the ministry of
the word." 5 And the statement found approval with the whole congregation;
and they chose Stephen, a man full of faith and of the Holy Spirit, and Philip,
Prochorus, Nicanor, Timon, Parmenas and Nicolas,a proselyte from Antioch.
6 And these they brought before the apostles;and after praying, they laid
their hands on them.” • Acts 16:24-31 “23 And when they had inflicted many
blows upon them, they threw them into prison, commanding the jailer to
guard them securely;24 and he, having receivedsuch a command, threw
them into the inner prison, and fastenedtheir feetin the stocks. 25 Butabout
midnight Paul and Silas were praying and singing hymns of praise to God,
and the prisoners were listening to them; 26 and suddenly there came a great
earthquake, so that the foundations of the prison house were shaken;and
immediately all the doors were opened, and everyone’s chains were
unfastened. 27 And when the jailer had been rousedout of sleepand had seen
the prison doors opened, he drew his swordand was about to kill himself,
supposing that the prisoners had escaped. 28 But Paul cried out with a loud
voice, saying, "Do yourself no harm, for we are all here!" 29 And he called for
lights and rushed in and, trembling with fear, he fell down before Paul and
Silas, 30 and after he brought them out, he said, "Sirs, what must I do to be
saved?" 31 And they said, "Believe in the Lord Jesus, andyou shall be saved,
you and your household."” • British statesmanand financier CecilRhodes,
whose fortune was used to endow the worldfamous Rhodes Scholarships, was
a sticklerfor correctdress--but apparently not at the expense of someone
else's feelings. A young man invited to dine with Rhodes arrived by train and
had to go directly to Rhodes’s home in his travel-stainedclothes. Once there
he was appalled to find the other guests alreadyassembled, wearing full
evening dress. After what seemeda long time Rhodes appeared, in a shabby
old blue suit. Later the young man learned that his host had been dressedin
evening clothes, but put on the old suit when he heard of his young guest’s
dilemma.
C. Texts 1. Empathy is at the heart of the incarnation and therefore of God. •
Heb.2:17-18 “therefore, He had to be made like His brethren is all things, so

that He might become a merciful and faithful high priest in things pertaining
to God, to make
Empathy 3 propitiation for the sins of he people. For since He Himself was
tempted in that which He has suffered, He is able to come to the aid of those
who are tempted.” • Heb. 4:15 “Forwe do not have a high priest who cannot
sympathize with our weaknesses, but One who has been tempted in all things
as we are, yet without sin.” • Lk.19:41 “When He approachedJerusalem, He
saw the city and wept over it.” • I Sam.16:7 “Do not look at his appearance or
at the height of his stature, because I have rejectedhim; for God sees notas
man sees, forman looks atthe outward appearance, but the Lord looks atthe
heart.” • Psalm 23:4 “I fear no evil, for You are with me;” • Psalm 56:8 “You
have takenaccountof my wanderings;put my tears in Your bottle. Are they
not in Your book?” • John 4:7-26 Jesus expressesempathy for the Woman of
Samaria by understanding her behavior and treating her with compassion
before she understands or repents. • Isa.53:4 “Surelyour griefs he Himself
bore, and our sorrows He carried;” 2. Empathy is at the heart of God’s Spirit.
a. As a PARACLETE “Comforter”, “Helper”, “Advocate”the Spirit is
empathetic. b. The word literally means “calledto one’side as an aid” It is
used in a legalcontext of a “legalassistant” oradvocate (defense counsel). It
also is used in a context of one who intercedes I Jn.2:1 “And if anyone sins, we
have an Advocate with the Father, Jesus Christthe righteous;” c. The Spirit
prays for and with the Christian knowing what is needed. Rom.8:26-27 “26
And in the same way the Spirit also helps our weakness;for we do not know
how to pray as we should, but the Spirit Himself intercedes for {us} with
groanings too deep for words;27 and He who searchesthe hearts knows what
the mind of the Spirit is, because He intercedes for the saints according to {the
will of} God.” 3. Empathy is at the center of an ethic based on love. •
Matt.7:12 “In everything, therefore, treat people the same way you want them
to treat you, for this is the Law and the Prophets.” • Rom.12:15 “Rejoicewith
those who rejoice, and weepwith those who weep.” • Rom.13:9 “Forthis, You
shall not commit adultery, you shall not murder, you shall not steal, you shall
not covet, and if there is any other commandment, it is summed up in this
saying, You shall love your neighbor as yourself.” • Gal.6:2 “Bearone
another’s burdens, and thereby fulfill the law of Christ.” • I Pet.3:8 “To sum

up, all of you be harmonious, sympathetic, brotherly, kindhearted, and
humble in spirit;” 4. Empathy is vital to Christian community. • Heb.13:3
“Rememberthe prisoners, as though in prison with them, and those who are
ill-treated, since you yourselves also are in the body.” • Rom.15:1 “Now we
who are strong ought to bear the weaknessesofthose without strength and not
just please ourselves.”
Empathy 4 • I Cor.12:26 “And if one member suffers, all the members suffer
with it; if one member is honored, all the members rejoice with it.” • II
Cor.11:29 “Who is weak without my being weak? Who is led into sin without
my intense concern? • Eph.5:25-31 “25 Husbands, love your wives, just as
Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her; 26 that He might
sanctify her, having cleansedher by the washing of waterwith the word, 27
that He might presentto Himself the church in all her glory, having no spot or
wrinkle or any such thing; but that she should be holy and blameless. 28 So
husbands ought also to love their own wives as their own bodies. He who loves
his ownwife loves himself; 29 for no one ever hated his own flesh, but
nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ also {does}the church, 30 because we
are members of His body. 31 For this cause a man shall leave his father and
mother, and shall cleave to his wife; and the two shall become one flesh.” •
Phil.2:4 “do not merely look out for your own personalinterests, but also for
the interests of others.” • Gal.6:1 “1 Brethren, even if a man is caught in any
trespass, youwho are spiritual, restore sucha one in a spirit of gentleness;
{eachone} looking to yourself, lest you too be tempted. 2 Bearone another’s
burdens, and thus fulfill the law of Christ. 3 For if anyone thinks he is
something when he is nothing, he deceives himself. 4 But let eachone examine
his ownwork, and then he will have {reasonfor} boasting in regard to himself
alone, and not in regardto another. 5 For eachone shall bear his own load.”
5. Empathy is an important part of effective ministry. • II Cor.1:3-11 “3
Blessed{be} the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Fatherof
mercies and God of all comfort; 4 who comforts us in all our affliction so that
we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction with the comfort
with which we ourselves are comfortedby God. 5 For just as the sufferings of
Christ are ours in abundance, so also our comfortis abundant through Christ.
6 But if we are afflicted, it is for your comfort and salvation;or if we are

comforted, it is for your comfort, which is effective in the patient enduring of
the same sufferings which we also suffer; 7 and our hope for you is firmly
grounded, knowing that as you are sharers of our sufferings, so also you are
{sharers} of our comfort. 8 For we do not want you to be unaware, brethren,
of our affliction which came {to us} in Asia, that we were burdened
excessively, beyondour strength, so that we despaired even of life; 9 indeed,
we had the sentence ofdeath within ourselves in order that we should not
trust in ourselves, but in God who raises the dead; 10 who delivered us from
so greata {peril of} death, and will deliver {us,} He on whom we have setour
hope. And He will yet deliver us, 11 you also joining in helping us through
your prayers, that thanks may be given by many persons on our behalf for the
favor bestowedupon us through {the prayers of} many.” (II Cor.2:1-4)D.
How to develop empathy 1. Listen – Jas.1:19 “be quick to hear, slow to speak
and slow to anger” 2. Observe – There are many things that can be best
learned by observing body language, circumstances, culturalnorms, etc.
Simply projecting onto others our narrow experience may not lead to true
empathy.
Empathy 5 3. Imagine – Projection, whenisolatedfrom discernment, can be
harmful in relationships but it is also (at a fundamental level) vital to
empathy. We learn to empathize by imagining ourselves in the shoes of
another. 4. Parenting – Empathy is learned early in life as we experience it
from our parents and as we are encouragedto develop it by them. When this
does not take place, it may leave the person (in adult life) to struggle to
develop deep empathy for other. For this reasonparents should show and tell
their children the way of empathetic connecting. 5. Suffering – It is almost
impossible to develop deep empathy without personalsuffering on many
fronts. Paul makes this clearin 2 Corinthians 1:3-11.
A Man Of Empathy

3 Votes
One of the things I remember being taught at an early age is that Jesus was
tempted in all areas ofHis life just like we are. It’s always been a comfort to
know that because He can relate to us as we go through our daily lives and are
tempted to say or do things that wouldn’t bring God glory. The temptations
He faced in the wilderness weren’t the only temptations He faced, though they
are the only ones recorded. Just like us, I’m sure He was under a constant
barrage of temptations trying to trip Him up so that His ministry could be
discredited. When He didn’t fall prey to those temptations, He showedthat we
don’t have to give into our flesh and that He could empathize with us in those
moments of weakness.
It wasn’t just temptations He facedas a person. He understood what it was
like to be betrayed by a close friend. He felt the sorrow of a close friend
passing away. He felt the sting of being rejectedby people who should have
respectedHim. In His greatesttime of need, His closestfriends didn’t stand
up for Him and one publicly denied even knowing Him. It was more than
temptations He facedin order to be able to empathize with us. He felt pain
and sorrow like we do. He understands what it feels like to be hurt by those
you love and to feelgreatsorrow. In fact, He even knows what it feels like to

feel abandoned by God. He went through all those emotions so that He could
empathize with us in our pain.
Isaiah53:3-4 says, “He was despisedand rejected— a man of sorrows,
acquainted with deepestgrief. We turned our backs on him and lookedthe
other way. He was despised, and we did not care. Yet it was our weaknesseshe
carried; it was our sorrows that weighedhim down. And we thought his
troubles were a punishment from God, a punishment for his own sins!” (NLT)
It wasn’t just His pain He felt. On the cross, He took on our pain, our sorrow
and our grief. Take the deepesthurt and pain you’ve felt in your life and
multiply that by billions. He carried that pain. He did that for us. For you. He
understands the pain you feelbecause He felt it before you at the cross. He
took stripes for your emotional healing as well, and endured the harshest
punishment known to man out of love for you. Don’t believe the lie that you
are the only one who feels the way you do. He carried your pain and sorrow
first and endured so that you cantoo.
https://devotionsbychris.com/2019/10/02/a-man-of-empathy/
Empathy and Jesus
To show empathy is to identify with another's feelings, to put oneselfin the
place of
another. It presupposes anawarenessofself and one's own feelings. Forus,
showing
empathy indicates a mature self-differentiated individual rather than a
disordered, perhaps
selfishor narcissistic personality.
Jesus, however, belongs to a world in which humans are public not private
entities. Jesus'

disciples in
the middle of !ar"'s gospel, #$homdo people saythat I am%# followed by,
#$hom do
you saythat I am%# Jesus indicates that socialgroups, whether people or
outsiders or
disciples, construe his identity publicly. Jesus does not have a separate private
identity in
the gospels.
Thus, when people describe Jesus as self-differentiatedor the incarnation as
the best
demonstration of Jesus'empathy for the human condition, they are viewing
Jesus'
personality or manifestationof divinity through modern &udgments about
what constitutes
health
order.
(uch assessments tell us far more about the people ma"ing them than they do
about
Jesus. Theyalso enable episodes in the gospels to resonate beyond their first
century
t. Thus a disadvantagedyoung person who feels a particular empathy
for the plight
of underprivileged children today overloo"edby society, the welfare state, and
even by
their parents, might resonate deeply with the story of the boy Jesus in the
temple,

neglectedby and separatedfrom his parents for three days. )e could connect
with how
to obey
them without resentment given that they had not noticed he was missing, had
assumedhe
was with other family members who had traveled to Jerusalem, and had
berated him
when they finally found him in the temple being concernedwith the more
important
business of his Father. $hen such a young man feels understood by someone
outside his
dysfunctional family, namely, an imagined Jesus, this particular gospelstory
offers hope
for wholenessand healing in fractured families.
*ut there are generalideas of socialaffinity in the +ew Testamentand other
of biblical
figures whose geographicalroots andethnic heritage we might otherwise
overloo", but
which nonetheless
the
universalism,
Ethiopian

wealth, wisdom and military might designedto solicitreaders'empathy and
imitation.
In the central sectionofthe gospel, to which I alluded at the beginning of this
article,
!ar" presents Jesus'collective identity three times as the suffering (on of !an
whom
true disciples imitate by following and ta"ing up their cross. Three times they
teaching, Jesus
encounters a rich man whose possessionsimpede progress towards the
"ingdom. In
response to his 0uestion, #$hatmust I do to inherit eternal life%# Jesus lists
the
commandments including the in&unction not to defraud. The young man
declares that he
has "ept all these things from his youth. Then the narrative records, #Jesus,
loo"ing
intently
poor and
you will have treasure in heaven, and come, follow me.# Jesus'additional
demand is not a
dismissive trap but stems instead from a deep desire to free the man from #the
cares of
the world and the delight in riches which enter in li"e thorns and cho"e the
word# 1!ar"

23456.Jesus perceives, bothnarratively and personally, the impossible
challenge his
fell, and he
went awaygrieving, for he was unwilling to give up his many possessions.
Jesus'reaction
empathi7es with the rich man's plight. )e does not &udge. #/oo"ing around,
Jesus saidto
his disciples, ')ow hard it will be for those who have riches to enter the
"ingdom of
this saying
who canbe saved%# This occasions
Jesus'second
intense observationin the passage this time of the disciples3 #$ithhumans it is
$hen I read !ar"'s words, #Jesus, loo"ing intently at him, loved him# I
visuali7e Jesus
loo"ing at someone who has, li"e himself, "eptall the commandments, and
who
nonetheless feels there must be something more he cando. 8erhaps Jesus'
family was
wealthierthan we imagine, and Jesus gave that all up for his ministry, and is
still loo"ing
for what more he can do. !ar" describes tensions betweenJesus andhis family
of origin

he had gone
mad.
!ar"'s Jesus loo"s intently at the rich man and at the disciples to perceive
whether they
li"e he can live out the challenge ofdiscipleship. (ome cannot. Jesus is
sympathetic to
told the
parable of the (ower at the beginning of the ministry to demonstrate that
much seedwill
not fall on goodsoil3 it will instead be snatchedawayby (atan or not have
enough root to
withstand tribulation and persecutionor it will be cho"edby cares ofthe
world or delight in riches.
https://www.academia.edu/19691321/Jesus_and_Empathy
Called To Empathy
Contributed by Rhonda Feurtado on Feb 25, 2005
based on 19 ratings
(rate this sermon)
| 5,582 views

Scripture: Jeremiah8:18-9:18, Jeremiah8:18
Denomination: Methodist
Summary: God calls believers to have empathy and act out of that empathy to
bring his love to the world.
1 2
Next
CALLED TO EMPATHY
There is a story I read on the internet some time back about a little girl. In the
course of the day, her friend losther favorite doll which she’d brought over to
play with. She was heartbroken, and saton the steps and beganto cry. When
the first little girl’s mother came outside to check on the girls, she found them
both sitting on the step sobbing. When she askedwhatwas wrong, she was
told through the tears that the little friend, Suzie had lost her favorite doll.
The mother lookedpuzzled for a bit, then askedher daughter, “did you lose
your doll too?” “No”,the daughter sobbed. “Then what’s wrong with you?”
“Nothing” she sobbed. “I’m just helping Suzie cry.” That is empathy: when
our heart breaks for another. There is a song in our hymnal which we sang
this morning, “there is a balm in Gilead, to make the wounded whole. There is
a balm in Gilead to heal the sin-sick soul.” What beautiful, comforting words.
But the prophet Jeriamiah cries out, “no”. For him there seems to be no balm
to comfort. He is weeping inconsolably, not for his own problems, but for
those of his people. Listen to his cry again:“my joy is gone, grief is upon me,
my heart is sick…forthe hurt of my poor people I am hurt. I mourn and
dismay has taken hold of me…my eyes are a fountain of tears, so that I might
mourn day and night.” And he was not weeping for himself, he was weeping
for his people. God had given him a greatsense ofempathy for his people.
Even as he delivered news of judgment, Jeremiah’s heart was breaking.

The prophet Jeremiahlived in a time of greattumult and transition. The
nation of Judah was undergoing a period of political and socialdecline.
Leaders were weak and ineffective, and all around him, the prophet saw
people who were not living up to the covenantwith Yahweh. The Lord called
Jeremiahto preachrepentance to these sinful people, but their resistance
leads towards their eventual destruction. Chapter 8 describes an upcoming
invasion from an enemy in the north. Soonthe people will undergo intense
suffering and tragedy. The amazing thing about the prophet Jeremiahis that
he does not revel in being right. He has told them time and time againof the
need to repent and the coming consequences oftheir sin if they don’t. And
time and time again, they refused to listen. Now they are about to bear the
consequencesofthis continual sin and refusal to repent. And many times,
human nature revels in seeing the wickedpunished. We like to see the bad guy
get theirs…westerns. Butnot Jeremiah. He does not stand aside and preach
condemnation to the masses,oreven point a finger saying, “see, if you had
listened to me you wouldn’t’ be in this mess.” At the close ofChapter 8 we
find him weeping inconsolablyfor the brokenness ofhis people. He is a man in
pain: for those who have died in the wars, for those who are alive and begging
to be rescuedby the very God they have turned their backs on, and even pain
for the heart of God which is breaking over the pain of God’s people from the
mess they’ve gottenthemselves into. This weeping of Jeremiahover his people
is reminiscent of Jesus’weeping over Jerusalem.
As we hear the wailings of Jeremiahhere in our scripture, I can’t help but
marvel over the power of true empathy. It is his true love and concernfor the
people of Judah that allows Jeremiahto anticipate, identify with, and
experience his nation’s suffering. Much like the little girl in our story, he is
heartsick, and weeps, notfor his own troubles, but for the pain of those he
loves.
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This leads us to wonder, what is the place of true empathy in the church
today? How often do we find ourselves mourning for the sinfulness or
brokenness ofour world? Eachday we hear reports of children killing
children, of children who are abused, of violence and addictions and sexual
perversions, of corruption in our governments and our churches, of terrorists
attacks throughout our world and threats at home. It is enoughto make one
sick at heart. And you see, God’s heartbreaks even more than ours at all this
-at the loss of life and loss of morals and loss of hope and loss of fullness of life
with which we are surrounded today. That is why he calls us to empathy- not
a kind of empathy that simply feels sorry for folks…thatis sympathy. But an
empathy that leads us to deeds of mercy and justice- i.e. to actionin His name.
That is true empathy.
True empathy is a vital part of our call to ministry. We are moved to ministry
when we allow our hearts to break with the things that break the heart of
God. Only when we allow ourselves to truly see the needs of the world around
us, and feelthe pain of their lostness canwe be moved by Godinto action. We,
like Jeremiahare calledto be “weeping prophets” as we develop a sense of
true empathy for the brokenness ofthe world around us. Sometimes it is
tempting, when we see pain, suffering, brokenness, andconsequencesofsin
around us, to pass by on the other side. Perhaps we don’t want to be bothered
or get involved. But for real ministry to happen, we have to get involved. We
have to risk caring, risk investing ourselves, be truly saddenedby the violence
and hatred in our world to the point of action. We are called to ache over
those who don’t have their basic needs met, those who are struggling with
addictions, those who have taken the wrong path, people who are lonely, lost,
afraid, suffering, in need of grace, comfortand strength and to walk with
them through the valley, offering the hope and healing balm found in Christ.
A disciple is one whose heartis brokenover the things that break the heart of
God. God’s love is a healing balm, and so as disciples, our task is to show
people to the truth that we all can find healing, wholeness, renewal,
forgiveness and strength in Christ, who waits with arms outstretched. May

we, like Jeremiah, have out hearts broken with the things that break the heart
of God. Then our lives will point people to the Christ - to this balm of Gilead
that makes the wounded whole. There are opportunities to make a difference,
one life at a time, all around. I have severalflyers in the back of the church to
help you getstarted, but there are many other opportunities. Find the need
that pulls at your heart the most and begin to make a difference.
The Fruit Of Empathy Series
Contributed by Ricardo Rodriguezon Nov 1, 2012
(rate this sermon)
| 3,143 views
Scripture: 1 Corinthians 8:9-13
Denomination: Apostolic
Summary: In spite of the fact that we have been calledto live in a community,
we continue to build walls and to enclose us in our own world. That it is why
the virtues of empathy and compassionhave gone disappearing. Jesus was not
only a powerful man that walk
Ice Breaker:Have you ever wore someone else’sclothes orshoes?

Key verse:1Corinthians 8:9-13.
INTRODUCTION:
In spite of the fact that we have been called to live in a community, we
continue to build walls and to enclose us in our own world. That it is why the
virtues of empathy and compassionhave gone disappearing.
Jesus was not only a powerful man that walkedhelping people for a miracle
as they askedhim. Was Jesus a maker of miracles? Yes but what moved him
to do it was the compassionthat He felt. Mark 1:40-42.
THREE WAYS TO EXERCISE COMPASSION
1. Extend your Hand
a) Due to that He felt compassion;Jesus extended his hand to this man. Mercy
will help you to arrive at places where normally you would not arrive. It will
remove you of your circle of comfort. It will carry you beyond your own needs
and desires. It is necessarythat God "extends" us.
b) Jesus extended his hand. Your hand represents your resources,your
abilities and your human effort. Also it represents the blessings orgifts that
God has given you. When "you extend your hand" you are extending your
influence toward someone in need.
2. Sympathize with Love
a) Compassionwill help you open your eyes before people and situations of
which normally you would not sympathize with. To sympathize is to put
yourself in the place of someone else. Compassionwill carry you to places that
others avoid.
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b) When put yourself in someone else’sshoes, you identify with them. At times
the most efficient prescription for emotional health is willing to be related.
3. Speak Words of Life
a) Jesus said, "I want, be clean. And so when He had spoken, instantly the
leprosy left, and he became clean." It was not only a miracle that changedthe
life of the leper, but also to hear the words "be clean" —something he had
never heard before.
b) Jesus declaredwords of life to the leper. It was not but until he spoke, that
the leprosydisappeared. Words of compassioncanheal the injuries of a
broken heart or bring consolationto someone in need. Neverunderestimate
the powerof your words.
CONCLUSION:
If you cultivate a compassionateheart, you will be able to reachmany people
for Jesus. As the saying says:"People don’t care how much you know, until
they know how much you care." Remember, to feelpity for someone does not
change anything. Feeling pity is to see from the outside toward inside; is
impersonal worry. Having empathy and compassionis to put you in the shoes
of others, to feelwhat feel and to identify you with their situation.
QUESTIONS
Which are some examples that we can show empathy?
What can we do to show compassionto others?
Why do you think to show empathy is not something that we do naturally?
SalemApostolic Worship Center
Overcoming Empathy DeficitDisorder
Contributed by David Owens on Jul 1, 2019

based on 1 rating
(rate this sermon)
| 2,187 views
Scripture: 1 Peter3:8-9, Colossians 3:12-14, 1 John 4:7-8
Denomination: Christian/Church Of Christ
Summary: Our world is becoming a more hate-filled place, where people have
less empathy and compassionforothers. In contrastto that, the people of God
are calledto live lives of love, empathy and compassion, becauseGodhas
loved us and poured His love into our hearts.
1 2 3 … 5 6
Next
A. One day a man was crossing the streetto visit his neighbor.
1. As he started to cross the street, a car was bearing down on him, so he
stopped and backedup to the curb.
2. The car stopped, so he started to cross, and the car started to move toward
him.
3. The man changed direction and went back to the curb and the carturned
and moved toward him.
4. The man then started to run across the streetand the carswervedin that
direction.

5. The man moved left and the car moved left. Then he moved right and the
car moved right.
6. Finally the man just stopped in the middle of the road and the car
screechedto a stop right in front of him.
7. The man walkedaround to the driver’s window and as the window rolled
down, the man was surprised to see a squirrel was the driver.
8. The squirrel said to the man, “So now you know how it feels to be me.”
B. I wish there was an easyway for all of us to know what it feels like to be
someone else.
1. That’s really what empathy is.
2. Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of another.
3. It means to have affinity with, rapport with, sympathy with, understanding
of, sensitivity toward, identification with, and awareness ofothers and their
feelings and experiences.
4. Do you think empathy is something we need more of in our world today?
5. Do you think empathy is something we need more of in our church today?
C. Unfortunately, we tend to live in bubbles and we only know and
understand our own feelings and our own experiences, andthose of people
who are closestto us, or most like us.
1. Empathy is not equally developedand present in everyone, and it is
downright missing in some cases.
2. In my researchfortoday’s sermon, I came acrossa term that I didn’t know
existed, called “Empathy Deficit Disorder.”

3. In an article from PsychologyToday, Dr. Douglas LaBier(Ph.D.) wrote:
“It’s possible that you're among the large number of people who suffer from
EDD. No, that isn’t a typo, I don’t mean ADD or ED. It’s EDD, for “Empathy
Deficit Disorder.”
I made it up, so you won't find it listed in the American Psychiatric
Association’s Diagnostic andStatisticalManualof MentalDisorders. Normal
variations of mood and temperament are increasinglyredefined as new
“disorders,” so I’m hesitant to suggesta new one. But this one’s real, and it’s
becoming more pronounced in today’s world.
I’ve identified it from my decades ofexperience as a business psychologist,
psychotherapist, and researcherinto adult development. From that triple
vantage point, I’ve concludedthat Empathy Deficit Disorderis a pervasive
but overlookedcondition. In fact, our increasinglypolarized socialand
political culture of the pastfew years reveals that EDD is more severe than
ever. It has profound consequences forthe mental health of both individuals
and society. Yet it’s ignored as a psychologicaldisturbance by most of my
colleaguesin the mental health professions.
First, some explanation of what I mean by EDD:When you suffer from it
you’re unable to step outside yourself and tune in to what other people
experience, especiallythose who feel, think, and believe differently from
yourself. That makes it a source of personalconflicts, of communication
breakdownin intimate relationships, and of adversarialattitudes, including
hatred, towards groups of people who differ in their beliefs, traditions, or
ways of life from your own.”
Dr. LaBier goes onto say: “Empathy is different from sympathy. Sympathy
reflects understanding another person’s situation but viewedthrough your
own lens. That is, it’s basedon your versionof what the other person is
dealing with… In contrast, empathy is what you feelonly when you can step
outside of yourself and enter the internal world of the other person. There,
without abandoning or losing your own perspective, you can experience the

other’s emotions, conflicts, or aspirations from within the vantage point of
that person’s world.”
D. Developing this kind of empathy isn’t easy, but it is what God wants us, His
church, to do.
1. The apostle Peterputs it very well in 1 Peter 3:8-9, “Finally, all of you be
like-minded and sympathetic, love one another, and be compassionateand
humble, not paying back evil for evil or insult for insult but, on the contrary,
giving a blessing, since you were calledfor this, so that you may inherit a
blessing.”
2. The key words I want us to focus on are “sympathetic, compassionate and
humble.”
3. They all are extensions or descriptions of love, but they are so helpful
because the word love can be so generaland nebulous.
4. The kind of love that God wants us to show to everyone, inside and outside
of the church is a love that begins with humility.
5. Starting with humility keeps us in the mindset that everyone is as important
and worthy of love and respectas I am, and that God is in charge, not me.
6. Then with humility in our hearts we attempt to be sympathetic and
compassionatetowardothers.
E. One of the best ways to be sympathetic and compassionatetowardothers is
to try to put ourselves in their shoes.
1. We are all familiar with the proverb that says, “Don’tjudge a person until
you have walkeda mile in their shoes.”
2. In order to put ourselves in someone else’sshoes,then we first need a
sufficiently developedcapacityto feelwhat they would feel, to intepret the
situation as they would interpret it, to make the kind of conclusions that they
would make, along with the choices that come with it.
3. Putting ourselves in someone else’s shoesis not an easytask to do, but that
is what empathy is all about.

4. Someone else’sshoes are rarelythe same size as ours and they caneither be
tight and hurt our feet or be loose and awkwardto walk in.
5. But we learn so much if we try hard to imagine what it is like to be the
other person and to walk in their shoes.
F. How many of you have seenthe Disney Film calledFreakyFriday, starring
Jamie Lee Curtis and Lindsay Lohan?
1. In this movie, Jamie Lee Curtis plays a middle agedwidow and Lindsay
Lohan plays her teenage aspiring musician daughter.
2. Curtis is about to marry her fiancé, but her daughter is not thrilled about
this development.
3. The mother and teenage daughtercouldn't be more different, and it is
driving them both insane.
4. There is constantconflict because both mother and daughter have very
little empathy toward eachother.
5. Eachis focusedon what she wants for herselfand is insensitive to the other.
6. In the movie they are mysteriously made to switch bodies and walk a mile
in eachother’s shoes.
7. And the only way they can switchback to their own bodies is to do some
unselfish act for eachother.
8. In the process,both mother and daughter develop a new sense ofrespect
and understanding for eachother – they learned to empathize with each
other.

G. With God’s help, I hope that all of us canlearn how to be sympathetic,
compassionateand humble, without having to go through a “FreakyFriday”
experience.
1. Let’s spend a few minutes trying to be more empathetic, sympathetic and
compassionate.
2. Let’s start with thinking about the different shoes that we might walk in
just among the members of our church family.
3. Let’s considerthe places of our birth…
a. Pleaseraise your hand if you were born in New York State.
b. Please raise yourhand if you were born in anotherstate in our country.
c. Pleaseraise your hand if you were born in a country other than the U.S.A.
d. How might you feeldifferent living here in N.Y.S. if you were born in this
state, or born in another state, or born in another country.
e. How might your experiences be different if born here or another state or
another country?
4. Let’s considerthe gender of our birth…
a. Pleaseraise your hand if you are female in gender.
b. Please raise yourhand if you are male in gender.
c. How might you feeldifferent if you were male rather than female, and visa
versa?
d. How might your experiences be different in life if you had been male rather
than female, and visa versa.
e. And keepin mind that a lot has changedin the past 50 or more years with a
move toward gender equality, so the experiences ofolder men and women will
have been different than younger men and women.
5. Considerwhat it might feellike and how your experiences might have been
different if you were born a different race and had a different skin color.

a. And just like with gender that we just talked about, a lot has changedover
the years and a lot needs to continue to change with regard to race relations.
b. Race relations were vastlydifferent in 1850, thanin 1900, orin 1950, orin
2000, orat the present.
c. Race relations have also been different depending on the part of our
country you live in.
6. We don’t have time to go over in detail all of the possibilities for how we
might feel or what our experiences would have been depending on all kinds of
variables, but empathy, sympathy and compassion says we wantto try to
understand.
7. What about economic differences betweenthe rich or poor, regardless of
race, color, or nationality?
8. What about differences in family units: married, singles, divorced, widowed
– we have a lot of single family units in our church – there are 74 single family
units, 58 married family units.
9. What about differences in family units with regardto children – families
with no children ever or empty nests now, families with biologicalchildren,
fosterchildren, adoptive children?
10. What about differences relatedto health – physical health, mental health –
there are so many dynamics involved – chronic illness and pain, emotional
instability.
11. What about differences relatedto addiction and rehab.
12. What about differences relatedto the law, a criminal record and
imprisonment.

13. What about differences relatedto other things – religion, sexual
orientation, foreignculture.
H. Are you beginning to graspjust how much work is involved in trying to
have empathy, sympathy and compassionfor how other people feel about
their situation and experiences that may be so very different than ours?
1. Becauseit is so challenging, you cansee why many have opted to not even
try.
2. Many have traded empathy for apathy and truly have developedan
empathy deficit disorder.
3. But that is not an option for those of us who want to please God.
4. In order to please God, we must obey God’s Word which tells us things like
Colossians 3:12-14:Therefore, as God’s chosenones, holy and dearly loved,
put on compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, andpatience, bearing with
one another and forgiving one another if anyone has a grievance against
another. Justas the Lord has forgiven you, so you are also to forgive. Above
all, put on love, which is the perfectbond of unity.
5. Notice that those same important words show up that we saw in 1 Peter3:
love, compassion, and humility.
I. In 2016, Nate Walker, published a book called“Cultivating Empathy: The
Worth and Dignity of Every Person – Without Exception.”
1. The introduction of his book begins with a powerful story.
a. Over a period of severalmonths in 1960 in New Orleans, child psychologist
Robert Coles spoke withRuby Bridges, a six-year-old African American who
was threatened and taunted by people who opposedher enrollment in a
segregatedschool.
b. Six-year-old Ruby told Coles she felt sorry for the people who were trying
to kill her.
c. Coles clarified, “You feelsorry for them?”

d. Ruby replied, “Well, don’t you think they need feeling sorry for?”
2. Walkeruses this story to introduce the idea of moral imagination which he
defines as “the ability to anticipate or project oneselfinto the middle of a
moral dilemma or conflict and understand all points of views.”
3. Walkerexplains how Ruby Bridges was able to “imagine the torturous
existence the segregationistwhite supremacistexperiencedwhen threatening
her life.”
4. This story and Walker’s treatmentof it as an example of moral imagination
are a greatexample of a way that empathy can leadto a moral path of action.
5. By imagining the experience of those who tortured her, Ruby was able to
show them compassion, to offer forgiveness, and to pray for them.
6. How astonishing and challenging is her example!
7. It reminds me of our Savior and the empathy and compassionHe expressed
while hanging on the cross, praying: “Father, forgive them, for they do not
know what they are doing.” (Lk. 23:34).
8. Empathy is a tool that cansoften our judgment and criticism of others as
we try to see the world from their point of view.
J. But even as different as we may be in our personal, cultural, or racial
feelings and experiences, we are all made in the image of the same God and
have equal value as God’s creation.
1. And as different as we may be, in the most fundamental ways we are all the
same.

2. In Erich Remarque’s book, All Quiet on the WesternFront, he tells of a
remarkable encounter betweentwo enemy soldiers during the SecondWorld
War.
3. During one battle a German soldier took shelter in a cratermade by
artillery shells.
4. Looking around he saw a man wounded, an enemy soldier, and he was
dying.
5. The German soldier’s heart went out to him.
6. He gave him waterfrom his canteenand listened as the dying man spoke of
his wife and children.
7. The German helped him find his wallet and take out pictures of his family
to look at one last time.
8. In that encounterthese two men ceasedto be enemies.
9. The German had seenthe wounded soldier in a new way - not as an enemy
combatant but as a father, a husband, someone who loves and is loved -
someone just like him.
10. This is always the path of peace and reconciliation, learning to truly see
the other and in them recognizing someone just like yourself.
K. Every time I hear Mandisa’s powerful song called“Bleedthe Same,” I am
inspired – her song features TobyMac and Kirk Franklin.
1. The lyrics include these words:
We all bleed the same, We’re more beautiful when we come together
We all bleed the same, So tell me why, tell me why We’re divided
Woke up today, Another headline, Another innocent life is taken, In the name
of hatred
So hard to take, And if we think that it’s all good, Then we’re mistaken
‘Cause my heart is breaking

Jesus was empathetic

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