1. It was hard to be certain, but I always got the feeling that Matilda didn’t like me.
Even from an early age she always made me feel like I was doing something
wrong. Just being around her seemed to be a problem. I never did anything that I
thought was particularly annoying or antisocial, and no one else acted the way
she did around me, but there was always a distance between us.
I should probably explain that Matilda is my sister. My older, disapproving,
know-it-all sister, whose negativity has turned me against her over the years.
Don’t get me wrong; we had some good times together. We spent much of the
summers during our youth running along the sandy beaches of Minnis Bay,
splashing around in the sea, being chased by friendly dogs and eating ice-cream.
Even our walks to and from the beach were a fun competition. We used to race
each other to the top of the huge grassy hills that lined the path down to the
seafront, and they felt, at the time, near impossible to climb. Funnily enough, on a
recent visit back home I took a walk along the very route my sister and I used to
take to the beach. The mountains of grass now looked to me like over-sized
molehills; I noticed nothing grand about them.
As we grew up, we grew further apart. We were both opinionated, her more than
me, but if I agreed with her about something it seemed to annoy her more than if
I argued with her. My parents used to say that we were just like normal siblings,
that they argued with their brothers and sisters and now they all got along with
each other. They said eventually Matilda and I would forget our differences and
just get along, but it hasn’t happened yet.
Now that Matilda is married she has changed, ever so slightly. Her Husband,
Theo, has made her character a little bit milder, but she disapproves even more
of the way I live my life. They both believe in growing up to find ‘the one’ and
building their lives around that one person. I don’t disagree with this idea for life,
but I cannot see myself being able to do that. Maybe I am difficult then. If I can’t
imagine finding someone who I would want to build a life with, maybe that
makes me strange, and I am, after all, the one that has the problem. Watching
Matilda live so happily, or so it seems, with Theo, and still having such a negative
response from her on all my life choices makes me resent her more each day.
I’m certain, though, that we will work out our differences, whatever they might
be, and our relationship will change. We have no choice. Everyone and
everything is about to change.