This document contains a series of photos and captions describing Dave's eccentric life experiences over time, including getting haircuts with a bowl, pretending to put lipstick on a cue stick, holding a candlelight vigil for Nixon, wearing unusual outfits, playing with musical instruments, competing in child diving competitions while using steroids, attempting to steal gold, having a pet snail he traded for drugs, getting wasted underage in the Bahamas, trying to teach someone to drink beer with chopsticks after thinking his backyard plants were pot, being a drug mule, making ponchos from stolen blankets, preferring to drink from a vase, having an infected dreadlock band, wearing inappropriate clothes on Caribbean trips, having a fake

1. My mommy cuts my hair with a bowl and some hedge trimmers

2. The Color of MoneyLook closely – after he ran the table little Davey (aka “The Hustler” ) stuck the cue in his pants and pretended to put on lipstick with it.

3. Dave insisted on holding a candle light vigil for Nixon when he was impeached.

4. Look – It’s Raggedy Anne and Andy Rooney!

5. Uncle Paul’s Wedding“Hey Davey, why you wearing a safari outfit?”“I dunno. Why you have a Christmas tree skirt around your neck?”

6. Rhinestone Cowboy meets Little House on the Prairie

7. What time is it? Time to get a haircut!!!

8. Dave went through a phase where he thought he was Danny Partridge.

9. Hey Ladies…Check out my six pack abs!Oh crap, I dropped my beer!

10. Musical SavaantBefore he mastered percussion, Dave could really rock Mary Had a Little Lamb on the Melodica!Notice the Sat. Night Fever poster

11. Party On, JohnDave and Johnny had the Wayne’s World concept long before SNL ever came up with it.

12. In 1976, the United States experimented with a child high dive team. Dave “The Wave” won the Silver Medal but was later disqualified for sterroid use. It really messed up his teeth.

13. Joey: “Hey look…I found gold!!!”Dave: Damn it. Do you think anyone will notice if I push her off and steal it?

14. Dave was always outshined by Joey’s bright spotlightThe pilot shot for our tv show: Chico and the Girls

15. Dave and his pet snail, Concho Villa, hours before he traded him to the locals for a bag of weed and a six pack of Red Stripe

16. Amy – You hold Brandon…I’m gonna try to ride him in my fancy Christmas sweater

17. Guess what? In the Bahamas, you can get wasted at age 9. (those are beers on our table)

18. Dave and his pet snail, Concho Villa, hours before he traded him to the locals for a bag of weed and a six pack of Red Stripe

19. Dave grooved with the silver hairs on the booze cruise – we later found a girdle and some dentures on the bathroom counter of his room.

20. Hey Mom – this is what happens when you let your teenagers have their own room on vacation…

21. Guido in a Speedo

22. Guido in a SpeedoThe night we tried to teach Amy how to drink beer with chopsticks

23. Dave was devestated when his backyard pot plants turned out to be daisies.

24. The 80’s Pacer Style:Dirty stache, Oakleys, Swatch, Acid wash denim, Aqua Net, Bozo sweater

25. In the early 90’s, Dave was a drug mule for the cubandruglords. He nearly died shortly after this picture was taken when Joey kicked him in the ass.

26. Dave went through a stage where he liked to make ponchos out of mexican blankets that he stole from the Salvation Army.

27. While others drank out of the can, Dave preferred to drink out of a vase. It made him feel special.

28. Dave’s reggae band, DaDoobieBruddahs, disbanded after only one year when their dreadlocks became infected.

29. When travelling to the Carribean, Dave preferred suspenders and turtlenecks to tank tops and shorts.

30. “Has anyone seen Uncle Mike?”Who’s that?Our fake uncle who gets high with us and buys us liquor.

31. Does anyone else see the resemblence?

32. Back in DesMoines in the late 90’s, Dave played the lead role in the Pleasant Hill dinner theatre’s version of Aladdin. He was up for a Tony award for his performance, but lost to Julie Andrews in Peter Pan. It crushed him and he gave up musical theatre forever.

33. Merry F%^&in Christmas!Dave was pissed when he opened yet another gift of socks and underwear.

34. Dave pulled his hamstring in a nasty fall from the balance beam at a gymnastics competition and his mommy carried him off the floor.

35. After a late night at the bar, Dave woke up with a couple of “dogs.”

36. After a late night at the bar, Dave woke up with a couple of “dogs.”The inaugural meeting of the stupid ass hat club

37. Dave and Garret on the TV show “Wipeout”

38. Dave started a non-profit group to promote corn fed babies called, “Children of the Corn”