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10 Conversion-Killing
Copywriting Mistakes
@JoelKlettke
(And how to fix ‘em!)
I help companies
get more leads to
do what they want.
TL;DR
HAVE YOU EVER ASKED…
You “We‘d”
all over your copy.
Your leads don’t care about you.
EXAMPLE: WE, WE, WE!
EXAMPLE: YOU, YOU, YOU!
Talk pains, gains, and
verbs over nouns.
Instead of… Write…
“We strive to…” “Get more leads with…”
Talk pains, gains, and
verbs over nouns.
Instead of… Write…
“We strive to…” “Get more leads with…”
“Our services include…” “Grow your business with a team
who can…”
Talk pains, gains, and
verbs over nouns.
Instead of… Write…
“We strive to…” “Get more leads with…”
“Our services include…” “Grow your business with a team
who can…”
“We deliver more traffic…” “Get (outcome) without (pain)”
80/20
You wrote in a vacuum
(and that sucks.)
You can’t sell to a customer
you don’t understand.
Pain Points Anxieties PrioritiesOutcomes
Have structured conversations
with customers and leads.
B
Before
D
During
A
After
BEFORE: PAINS
“What was going on in your
business that sent you
looking for a solution?”
BEFORE: PRIORITIES
“What else did you try,
and what didn’t you
love about it?”
BEFORE: ANXIETIES
“What almost kept you from
choosing to work with us?”
BEFORE: DESIRED OUTCOMES
“What does success look
like for you?”
DURING: ANXIETIES
“What was your 1st
impression of ____ after…”
DURING: PRIORITIES + OUTCOMES
“What part of ___ do you
find most valuable, and
why?”
AFTER: POSITIONING
“If a peer asked why they
should choose ____, what
would you tell them?”
AFTER: OUTCOMES
“What can you do now,
or do better…?”
Take that language.
Mirror it.
You assumed your leads
knew things they didn’t.
Awareness changes
the conversation.
Most Aware Solution Aware
“If you have something in
your teeth, you need floss.
I have floss right here.
It’s just $0.50 a pack, so
you’ll save $1.00!”
“If you have something in your teeth, then you need
something to get it out.
If you need to get it out, you might consider a
toothpick. But if you’re considering a toothpick, you
should also consider floss.
Floss works like a toothpick, but it cleans more
thoroughly since it can reach even the tightest
crevasses. You can get that truly clean feeling
around your entire mouth without going soggy,
breaking, or jabbing you in the gums. Plus, it’s
peppermint flavored!
I have floss right here. It’s just $0.50 a pack, so
you’ll save $1.00!”
DIFFERENT CONVERSATIONS…
MOST AWARE
I know your product
solves my problem.
What’s the deal?
MOST AWARE
Tell ‘em the deal.
PRODUCT AWARE
I know about your
product, but is it
right for me?
PRODUCT AWARE
Reinforce desire, differentiate,
and prove your solution.
SOLUTION AWARE
I know the results I
want, but not how
your product will
deliver them.
SOLUTION AWARE
Show them the “how,” prove it,
and give desire a goal.
PROBLEM AWARE
I know I’ve got a
problem, but I’m not
sure how to solve it.
PROBLEM AWARE
Agitate pain, build empathy,
and lay out the “what.”
COMPLETELY UNAWARE
I have opinions,
beliefs, and ideas,
but no problem I’m
aware of.
COMPLETELY UNAWARE
Speak to their current
state of mind.
Finding awareness
1. Poll: “Had you heard of us before today?”
2. Chat: What questions are they asking?
3. Keywords: Pain, solution, or comparative?
4. Interviews: “What was going on in your business…”
5. Situational: Remarketing? Email list?
You let design lead copy
right off of a cliff.
Ideal: Write, wire, design.
Realistic: Iterate together.
Define a baseline.
“These types of
sections, in this
order, because…”
EXAMPLE: THE NEW CASE STUDY BUDDY.COM
Write.
Wire.
Evolve.
EXAMPLE: THE NEW CASE STUDY BUDDY.COM
+27%
Product
Signups
+35%
Demo
Requests
https://blog.hubspot.com/marketing/customer-driven-copy-conversions
EXAMPLE: HUBSPOT.COM
2x
Conversion
Rate 2x
Inbound Call
Volume
You forgot (or buried)
the “So what?”
Your leads need to see an
immediate, obvious benefit.
SAD EXAMPLE: TOO CLEVER, NOT CLEAR
SAD EXAMPLE: WHAT, BUT NOT WHY
SAD EXAMPLE: WARM-UP COPY KILLS KITTENS
Warm-up copy
The good stuff!
GOOD EXAMPLE: APRIO.NET
So you can…
GOOD EXAMPLE: IN AN EMAIL
“So what?”
And again!
1. Finish the sentence, “So you can…”
2. Start with the “why” + spoil the ending.
3. Delete your “warm up” copy.
You got things all mixed up
and the convo got weird.
. . .
. . .
! ! !
!!!
1. Start with awareness.
2. Define customer Q’s.
3. Answer them.
4. Prioritize.
Hero
Body
CTA
Why should I care?
What is it?
Who is it for?
How will my life improve?
How does it work?
Why should I trust you?
What happens next?
EXAMPLE: TRAFFIC THINK TANK
1. What is TTT?
2. How will life improve?
3. Why not read blogs (for free?)
4. What do I get?
5. Why is this credible?
6. What next?
EXAMPLE: TRAFFIC THINK TANK
EXAMPLE: TRAFFIC THINK TANK
EXAMPLE: TRAFFIC THINK TANK
EXAMPLE: TRAFFIC THINK TANK
You weren’t specific.
Nobody wants “high quality.”
They want what it MEANS.
WOULD YOU RATHER BUY…
A “high quality” pillow Plush comfort and ample
neck support to help you
sleep through the night.
WOULD YOU RATHER BUY…
A “high quality” pillow
“Powerful analytics”
Plush comfort and ample
neck support to help you
sleep through the night.
Go from wondering to
acting with sales answers
on demand.
WOULD YOU RATHER BUY…
A “high quality” pillow
“Powerful analytics”
“Best customer support”
Plush comfort and ample
neck support to help you
sleep through the night.
Go from wondering to
acting with sales answers
on demand.
We’ll solve any issue
within 24 hours,
guaranteed.
EXAMPLE: INSPECIFICITY IS BORING.
EXAMPLE: “WELL… WHAT MATTERS?”
1. Conduct a specificity sweep:
+ “Is it specific?”
+ “Did I connect the dots?”
+ “Does it paint a picture?”
+ “Imagine…”
2. Ask “Why?” two to three times.
You call to action makes
people feel weird.
EXAMPLE: AMBIGUITY
What’s going to
happen next?
EXAMPLE: CLARITY
EXAMPLE: WHAT STANDS OUT?
EXAMPLE: OOPS.
1
2
Finish the sentence
“I want to __________”
Combine:
Outcome + Action
EXAMPLE: I WANT TO…
Desired
outcome
Required
action
EXAMPLE: I WANT TO…
1. Stick to one primary CTA in emails,
landing pages, and ads
2. Finish the sentence “I want to _____”
3. Be specific.
4. Combine desired outcome and required
action.
You made your great copy
totally unreadable.
EXAMPLE: FISHING WEBSITES
EXAMPLE: NO HIERARCHY
EXAMPLE: CLEAR HIERARCHY AND FOCAL POINT
EXAMPLE: LONG SENTENCES
EXAMPLE: SHORT SENTENCES AND LINE BREAKS
1. Use line breaks and don’t let widths get
crazy.
2. Lead with short sentences.
3. Avoid double-columns and competing
visuals
4. Think of the left-to-right reader
You made big, fat promises
without any proof.
EXAMPLE: UNSUPPORTED HYPERBOLE
Was there
a contest?
How do I
know?
Why should I
believe you?
EXAMPLE: UNSUPPORTED METRICS
Now that’s
more like it!
EXAMPLE: UNSUPPORTED METRICS
Use social proof…
1. Near areas of friction (like pricing)
2. To support big, bold claims
3. To counter (real) objections
EXAMPLE: AREAS OF FRICTION
EXAMPLE: BUILDING TRUST/REPLACING A CLAIM
EXAMPLE: COUNTERING OBJECTIONS
BUT!!!
1. B/D/A is best
2. Make sure they’re relatable
3. Test your formats
4. Use as a support, not a crutch
That’s enough out of me.
Questions?
Read my stuff/give me all your money:
Be my internet pal: @JoelKlettke
• BusinessCasualCopywriting.com
• CaseStudyBuddy.com

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Copywriting mistakes&fixes