Clark Atlanta University My Adventures as a Social Po.docx

Clark Atlanta University
My Adventures as a Social Poet
Author(s): Langston Hughes
Source: Phylon (1940-1956), Vol. 8, No. 3 (3rd Qtr., 1947), pp.
205-212
Published by: Clark Atlanta University
Stable URL: https://www.jstor.org/stable/272335
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PHYLON
THIRD QUARTER, 1947 VOL. VIII, NO. 3
By LANGSTON HUGHES
My Adventures as a Social Poet
OETS WHO write mostly about love, roses and moonlight,
sunsets
and snow, must lead a very quiet life. Seldom, I imagine, does
their poetry get them into difficulties. Beauty and lyricism are
really related to another world, to ivory towers, to your head in
the
clouds, feet floating off the earth.
Unfortunately, having been born poor-and also colored-in Mis-
souri, I was stuck in the mud from the beginning. Try as I
might to
float off into the clouds, poverty and Jim Crow would grab me
by the
heels, and right back on earth I would land. A third floor
furnished
room is the nearest thing I have ever had to an ivory tower.
Some of my earliest poems were social poems in that they were
about people's problems - whole groups of people's problems-
rather
than my own personal difficulties. Sometimes, though, certain
aspects
of my personal problems happened to be also common to many

other
people. And certainly, racially speaking, my own problems of
adjust-
ment to American life were the same as those of millions of
other segre-
gated Negroes. The moon belongs to everybody, but not this
American
earth of ours. That is perhaps, why poems about the moon
perturb no
one, but poems about color and poverty do perturb many
citizens.
Social forces pull backwards or forwards, right or left, and
social
poems get caught in the pulling and hauling. Sometimes the
poet
himself gets pulled and hauled--even hauled off to jail.
I have never been in jail but I have been detained by the
Japanese
police in Tokyo and by the immigration authorities in Cuba-in
custody, to put it politely- due, no doubt, to their interest in my
written words. These authorities would hardly have detained
me had
I been a writer of the roses and moonlight school. I have never
known
the police of any country to show an interest in lyric poetry as
such. But
when poems stop talking about the moon and begin to mention
poverty,
trade unions, color lines, and colonies, somebody tells the
police. The
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history of world literature has many examples of poets fleeing
into exile
to escape persecution, of poets in jail, even of poets killed like
Placido
or, more recently, Lorca in Spain.
My adventures as a social poet are mild indeed compared to the
body-
breaking, soul-searing experiences of poets in the recent fascist
countries
or of the resistance poets of the Nazi invaded lands during the
war.
For that reason, I can use so light a word as "adventure" in
regard to
my own skirmishes with reaction and censorship.
My adventures as a social poet began in a colored church in
Atlantic
City shortly after my first book, The Weary Blues, was
published in
1926. I had been invited to come down to the shore from
Lincoln Uni-
versity where I was a student, to give a program of my poems
in the
church. During the course of my program I read several of my
poems
in the form of the Negro folk songs, including some blues
poems about
hard luck and hard work. As I read I noticed a deacon approach
the
pulpit with a note which he placed on the rostrum beside me,

but I did
not stop to open the note until I had finished and had
acknowledged the
applause of a cordial audience. The note read, "Do not read any
more
blues in my pulpit." It was signed by the minister. That was my
first experience with censorship.
The kind and generous woman who sponsored my writing for a
few years after my college days did not come to the point quite
so
directly as did the minister who disliked blues. Perhaps, had it
not
been in the midst of the great depression of the late '20's and
early '30's,
the kind of poems that I am afraid helped to end her patronage
might
not have been written. But it was impossible for me to travel
from
hungry Harlem to the lovely homes on Park Avenue without
feeling in
my soul the great gulf between the very poor and the very rich
in our
society. In those days, on the way to visit this kind lady I
would see
the homeless sleeping in subways and the hungry begging in
doorways
on sleet-stung winter days. It was then that I wrote a poem
called
"An Ad for the Waldorf-Astoria," satirizing the slick-paper
magazine
advertisements of the opening of that de luxe hotel. Also I
wrote:
PARK BENCH

I live on a park bench.
You, Park Avenue.
Hell of a distance
Between us two.
I beg a dime for dinner -
You got a butler and maid.
206 PHYLON
2019 19:28:21 UTC
MY ADVENTURES AS A SOCIAL POET
But I'm wakin' up!
Say, ain't you afraid
That I might, just maybe,
In a year or two,
Move on over
To Park Avenue?
In a little while I did not have a patron any more.
But that year I won a prize, the Harmon Gold Award for
Literature,
which consisted of a medal and four hundred dollars. With the
four
hundred dollars I went to Haiti. On the way I stopped in Cuba

where
I was cordially received by the writers and artists. I had written
poems
about the exploitation of Cuba by the sugar barons and I had
translated
many poems of Nicholas Guillen such as:
CANE
Negro
In the cane fields.
White man
Above the cane fields.
Earth
Beneath the cane fields.
Blood
That flows from us.
This was during the days of the dictatorial Machado regime.
Per-
haps someone called his attention to these poems and
translations
because, when I came back from Haiti weeks later, I was not
allowed
to land in Cuba, but was detained by the immigration
authorities at
Santiago and put on an island until the American consul came,
after
three days, to get me off with the provision that I cross the
country
to Havana and leave Cuban soil at once.
That was my first time being put out of any place. But since

that
time I have been put out of or barred from quite a number of
places,
all because of my poetry- not the roses and moonlight poems
(which
I write, too) but because of poems about poverty, oppression,
and
segregation. Nine Negro boys in Alabama were on trial for
their lives
when I got back from Cuba and Haiti. The famous Scottsboro
"rape"
case was in full session. I visited those boys in the death house
at
Kilby Prison, and I wrote many poems about them. One of
these
poems was:
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PHYLON
CHRIST IN ALABAMA
Christ is a Nigger,
Beaten and black-
O, bare your back.
Mary is His Mother -
Mammy of the South.

Silence your mouth.
God's His Father-
White Master above,
Grant us your love.
Most holy bastard
Of the bleeding mouth:
Nigger Christ
On the cross of the South.
Contempo, a publication of some of the students at the
University
of North Carolina, published the poem on its front page on the
very day
that I was being presented in a program of my poems at the
University
in Chapel Hill. That evening there were police outside the
building
in which I spoke, and in the air the rising tension of race that is
peculiar
to the South. It had been rumored that some of the local
citizenry were
saying that I should be run out of town, and that one of the
sheriffs
agreed, saying, "Sure, he ought to be run out! It's bad enough
to call
Christ a bastard. But when he calls him a nigger, he's gone too
far!"
The next morning a third of my fee was missing when I was
handed
my check. One of the departments of the university jointly
sponsoring
my program had refused to come through with its portion of the

money.
Nevertheless, I remember with pleasure the courtesy and
kindness of
many of the students and faculty at Chapel Hill and their lack
of agree-
ment with the anti-Negro elements of the town. There I began
to learn
at the University of North Carolina how hard it is to be a white
liberal
in the South.
It was not until I had been to Russia and around the world as a
writer and journalist that censorship and opposition to my
poems
reached the point of completely preventing me from appearing
in public
programs on a few occasions. It happened first in Los Angeles
shortly
after my return from the Soviet Union. I was to have been one
of
several speakers on a memorial program to be held at the
colored branch
Y. M. C. A. for a young Negro journalist of the community. At
the
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behest of white higher-ups, no doubt, some reactionary Negro
politicians
informed the Negro Y. M. C. A. that I was a Communist. The
secre-
tary of the Negro Branch Y then informed the committee of
young
people in charge of the memorial that they could have their
program
only if I did not appear.
I have never been a Communist, but I soon learned that anyone
visiting the Soviet Union and speaking with favor of it upon
returning
is liable to be so labeled. Indeed when Mrs. Roosevelt, Walter
White,
and so Christian a lady as Mrs. Bethune who has never been in
Moscow,
are so labeled, I should hardly be surprised! I wasn't surprised.
And
the young people's committee informed the Y secretary that
since the
Y was a public community center which they helped to support,
they
saw no reason why it should censor their memorial program to
the
extent of eliminating any speaker.
Since I had been allotted but a few moments on the program, it
was
my intention simply to read this short poem of mine:
Dear lovely death
That taketh all things under wing,
Never to kill,
Only to change into some other thing
This suffering flesh -

To make it either more or less
But not again the same,
Dear lovely death,
Change is thy other name.
But the Negro branch Y, egged on by the reactionary
politicians
(whose incomes, incidentally, were allegedly derived largely
from
gambling houses and other underworld activities), informed the
young
people's committee that the police would be at the door to
prevent my
entering the Y on the afternoon of the scheduled program. So
when
the crowd gathered, the memorial was not held that Sunday.
The young
people simply informed the audience of the situation and said
that the
memorial would be postponed until a place could be found
where all
the participants could be heard. The program was held
elsewhere a
few Sundays later.
Somebody with malice aforethought (probably the Negro
politicians
of Uncle Tom vintage) gave the highly publicized California
evangelist,
Aimee Semple McPherson, a copy of a poem of mine,
"Goodbye, Christ."
This poem was one or my least successful efforts at poetic
communica-
tion, in that many persons have misinterpreted it as an anti-
Christian

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PHYLON
poem. I intended it to be just the opposite. Satirical, even
ironic, in
style, I meant it to be a poem against those whom I felt were
misusing
religion for worldly or profitable purposes. In the poem I
mentioned
Aimee Semple McPherson. This apparently made her angry.
From
her Angelus Temple pulpit she preached against me, saying,
"There
are many devils among us, but the most dangerous of all is the
red
devil. And now there comes among us: a red devil in a black
skin!"
She gathered her followers together and sent them to swoop
down
upon me one afternoon at an unsuspecting and innocent literary
lunch-
eon in Pasadena's Vista del Arroyo Hotel. Robert Nathan, I
believe,
was one of the speakers, along with a number of other authors.
I was
to have five minutes on the program to read a few poems from
my

latest collection of folk verses, Shakespeare in Harlem, hardly
a radical
book.
When I arrived at the hotel by car from Los Angeles, I noticed
quite
a crowd in the streets where the traffic seemed to be tangled.
So I got
out some distance from the front of the hotel and walked
through the
grounds to the entrance, requesting my car to return at three
o'clock.
When I asked in the.lobby for the location of the luncheon, I
was told
to wait until the desk clerk sent for the chairman, George
Palmer
Putnam. Mr. Putnam arrived with the manager, both visibly
excited.
They informed me that the followers of Aimee McPherson were
ve-
hemently picketing the hotel because of my appearance there.
The
manager added with an aggrieved look that he could not have
such a
commotion in front of his hotel. Either I would have to go or he
would
cancel the entire luncheon.
Mr. Putnam put it up to me. I said that rather than
inconvenience
several hundred guests and a half dozen authors, I would
withdraw-
except that I did not know where my car had gone, so would
someone
be kind enough to drive me to the station. Just then a doorman
came

in to inform the manager that traffic was completely blocked in
front
of the hotel. Frantically the manager rushed out. About that
time a
group of Foursquare Gospel members poured into the lobby in
uniforms
and armbands and surrounded me and George Palmer Putnam,
demand-
ing to know if we were Christians. Before I could say anything,
Mr.
Putnam lit into them angrily, saying it was none of their
business and
stating that under our Constitution a man could have any
religion he
chose, as well as freedom to express himself.
Just then an old gentleman about seventy-two who was one of
the
organizers of the literary luncheon came up, saying he had been
asked
to drive me to the station and get me out of there so they could
start
the luncheon. Shaking hands with Mr. Putnam, I accompanied
the old
gentleman to the street. There Aimee's sound truck had been
backed
210
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across the roadway blocking all passage so that limousines,
trucks, and
taxis were tangled up in all directions. The sound truck was
playing
"God Bless America" while hundreds of pickets milled about
with signs
denouncing Langston Hughes- atheistic Red. Rich old ladies on
the
arms of their chauffeurs were trying to get through the crowd
to the
luncheon. Reporters were dashing about.
None of the people recognized me, but in the excitement the
old
gentleman could not find his car. Finally he hailed a taxi and
nervously
thrust a dollar into the driver's hand with the request that I be
driven
to the station. He asked to be excused himself in order to get
back to
the luncheon. Just as I reached out the door to shake hands in
fare-
well, three large white ladies with banners rushed up to the
cab. One
of them screamed, "We don't shake hands with niggers where
we come
from!"
The thought came over me that the picketing might turn into a
race
riot, in which case I did not wish to be caught in a cab in a
traffic jam
alone. I did not turn loose the old gentleman's hand. Instead of
shak-

ing it in farewell, I simply pulled him into the taxi with me,
saying,
"I thought you were going to the station, too."
As the pickets snarled outside, I slammed the door. The driver
started off, but we were caught in the traffic blocked by the
sound
truck lustily playing "God Bless America." The old gentleman
trem-
bled beside me, until finally we got clear of the mob. As we
backed
down a side street and turned to head for the station, the sirens
of
approaching police cars were heard in the distance.
Later I learned from the afternoon papers that the whole
demonstra-
tion had been organized by Aimee McPherson's publicity man,
and
that when the police arrived he had been arrested for refusing
to give up
the keys to the sound truck stalled midway the street to block
the
traffic. This simply proved the point I had tried to make in the
poem
that the church might as well bid Christ goodbye if his gospel
were left
in the hands of such people.
Four years later I was to be picketed again in Detroit by Gerald
L. K. Smith's Mothers of America-for ever since the
Foursquare
Gospel demonstration in California, reactionary groups have
copied,
used and distributed this poem. Always they have been groups
like

Smith's, never known to help the fight for democratic Negro
rights in
America, but rather to use their energies to foment riots such as
that
before Detroit's Sojourner Truth housing project where the
Klan-
minded tried to prevent colored citizens from occupying
government
homes built for them.
I have had one threatening communication signed A Klansman.
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PHYLON
And many scurrilous anonymous anti-Negro letters from
persons whose
writing did not always indicate illiteracy. On a few occasions,
reac-
tionary elements have forced liberal sponsors to cancel their
plans
to present me in a reading of my poems. I recall that in Gary,
Indiana, some years ago the colored teachers were threatened
with the
loss of their jobs if I accepted their invitation to appear at one
of the
public schools. In another city a white high school principal,
made
apprehensive by a small group of reactionary parents, told me

that he
communicated with the F. B. I. at Washington to find out if I
were
a member of the Communist Party. Assured that I was not, with
the
approval of his school board, he presented me to his student
body. To
further fortify his respectability, that morning at assembly, he
had
invited all of the Negro ministers and civic leaders of the town
to sit
on the stage in a semi-circle behind me. To the students it must
have
looked like a kind of modern minstrel show as it was the first
time any
Negroes at all had been invited to their assembly.
So goes the life of a social poet. I am sure none of these things
would ever have happened to me had I limited the subject
matter of
my poems to roses and moonlight. But, unfortunately, I was
born
poor--and colored--and almost all the prettiest roses I have
seen
have been in rich white people's yards-not in mine. That is why
I cannot write exclusively about roses and moonlight-for
sometimes
in the moonlight my brothers see a fiery cross and a circle of
Klansmen's
hoods. Sometimes in the moonlight a dark body swings from a
lynching
tree - but for his funeral there are no roses.
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Contentsimage 1image 2image 3image 4image 5image 6image
7image 8Issue Table of ContentsPhylon (1940), Vol. 8, No. 3,
3rd Qtr., 1947Front Matter [pp. 201 - 204]My Adventures as a
Social Poet [pp. 205 - 212]Notes on Coloured Writing [pp. 213
- 224]Phylon Profile, XIII: A. Philip Randolph [pp. 225 -
229]Race Relations and the ChurchRacism, Religion and
Anthropology [pp. 230 - 238]The New Liberalism of the
Church [pp. 239 - 242]Racial Policies and Practices of Major
National Protestant Denominations [pp. 243 - 250]Bermudian
Coloured Girl [p. 251]Haiti as a Laboratory for Cultural
Research [pp. 252 - 264]Farewell to John Horse: An Episode of
Seminole Negro Folk History [pp. 265 - 273]Civilized and
Primitive Culture [pp. 274 - 285]Persons and Places [pp. 286 -
291]The Literature of Race and CultureOf LifeMorals and Men
[pp. 292 - 293]Spotlight Intercultural Relations [pp. 293 -
295]Tonic for Skeptics [pp. 295 - 296]The Small Nations at
Versailles [pp. 296 - 297]Boston Rebel [p. 297]And
LettersSouthern Scenes [pp. 298 - 299]Fact or Fiction? [pp.
299 - 300]Back Matter [p. 301]
2 The Writing Process
DragonImages/iStock/Thinkstock
“No one's born being good at things, you become good at things
through hard work. You're not a varsity athlete the first time
you play
a new sport. You don't hit every note the first time you sing a
song.
You've got to practice. It's the same with your schoolwork. You
might
have to do a math problem a few times before you get it right,

or read
something a few times before you understand it, or do a few
drafts of a
paper before it's good enough to hand in.”
—President Barack Obama (2009, para. 28)
Learning Outcomes
After reading this chapter, you should be able to:
ƒƒ Complete planning and prewriting activities.
ƒƒ Draft an essay.
ƒƒ Utilize feedback through collaborative processes.
ƒƒ Revise a written document.
ƒƒ Edit your essay.
Writing is a multistage process. Just as athletes cannot expect to
win if they run onto the field
without a game plan, writers cannot expect success if they write
without planning. Successful
writers compose a document that an audience can read,
understand, and use. Much of their
work happens before the document is ever drafted!
As you learned in Chapter 1, academic writing is a particular
type of written communication.
The academic writer must consider audience, document type,
tone, style, grammar, mechan-

ics, organization, formatting, and other factors. Once writers
know what needs to be written,
they must decide how to write it. In this chapter you will learn
how get started and move
through the writing process.
This chapter is organized according to several stages of the
writing process, but each stage
can occur at any time—the writing process does not follow a
straight path (see A Closer Look:
An Outline of the Writing Process). Stages sometimes overlap
or occur out of order; they might
even be repeated multiple times. The goal of this chapter is to
give you an overview of the
writing process so you are prepared for the work that lies ahead.
A Closer Look: An Outline of the Writing Process
• Planning and readiness are important components for any
successful task. Successful
writers must prepare for the work ahead of them. Internal acts
of mulling and criti-
cally thinking are essential parts of the planning process, which
also features inten-
tional actions and behaviors.
• Prewriting is a substantial part of the academic writing
process. Before composing
an academic paper, writers must brainstorm, conduct research,
build an argument,
and organize the structure of their work. Annotated
bibliographies, mind maps, out-
lines, and research notebooks are essential tools for this
process. A well-researched
and well-planned essay will be more effective and easier to
write. Investing time and

effort at the outset of the process will save you time and
frustration down the road.
• Drafting occurs after you have engaged in prewriting and feel
ready to compose
the first draft. If prewriting has been successful, drafting can be
fairly easy. Getting
started is often the hardest part, but prewriting tools can help.
Outlines are par-
ticularly useful because they serve as a road map for the paper.
It is also helpful to
remember that early drafts do not need to be written in order—
body paragraphs
can be written first, while the introduction can be written last.
Paragraphs can be
ordered and assembled after they are written.
• Since rough drafts are always “rough,” revision will be
required. Revising is when a
writer uses feedback and fresh perspective to make changes and
improve a draft.
Sometimes students finish a first draft and then submit it
without revising it. Simi-
larly, some employees send out memos and proposals quickly,
without taking the
time to make revisions. This usually results in a document that
is unclear, unrefined,
confusing, or ineffective. During revision, a writer assesses the
document for “big pic-
ture” issues like organization, flow, clarity, logic, and content.
The author is the only
one who can undertake revision because it is part of the process
of creating the work.
Revision can, however, be a collaborative process. A thoughtful
writer will often con-
sult with a peer group, writing workshop cohort, workplace

mentor, colleague, or
writing tutor during the revision process.
(continued on next page)
Section 2.1Planning and Prewriting Strategies
The writing process is not a simple, clean, or linear process; it
must be tailored to each writer,
each writing project, and each project’s schedule. Sometimes a
draft will need substantial
revisions that require a writer to go back to the prewriting
process. Sometimes editing will
highlight a need to do further research. Occasionally, a paper
may need to be gutted and
started completely over. Although these actions may feel like
steps backward, they actually
represent valuable progress forward.
2.1 Planning and Prewriting Strategies
The recursive writing process is riddled with choices, input, and
feedback. Therefore, it
requires a growth mindset—the belief that your abilities can be
developed through effort,
dedication, and focus. By adopting a growth mindset, writers
can regard the writing process,
including its setbacks, as a chance to learn, grow, and improve
their writing skills. In contrast,
writers who adopt a fixed mindset believe that their choices and
qualities cannot be changed.
They may think that they are naturally good (or bad) at writing
and that nothing will ever
change their ability in this area.

Throughout the learning and writing process, students need to
nurture the growth mindset
(see A Closer Look: Carol Dweck on Growth Mindset). It is
important to realize that anyone can
learn the skill of writing, and that one’s ability to write can
develop over time. Every writer
needs to adopt a growth mindset and make the effort to learn
and improve over time.
Once a writer has prepared their mind for a written assignment
or task, prewriting can
begin. The prewriting stage is composed of many activities that
may be undertaken all at once
or spread out over time. The prewriting process can vary from
writer to writer, but it typically
begins with brainstorming and is followed by research and
outlining. The process may move
forward and backward, and activities may overlap with one
another. It is important to be flex-
ible during the prewriting process, as it can be unpredictable.
A Closer Look: An Outline of the Writing Process (continued)
• Early drafts must also be edited before they can be considered
final. Editing involves
correcting mistakes, oversights, or errors and can be
accomplished over multiple
stages. All documents should be edited before they are
submitted or distributed.
Unlike revision, editing need not be done by the writer
themselves—the process
can be undertaken by any skilled person. Editing consists of
proofreading, checking
grammar and spelling, and making corrections to make sure the
composition adheres
to a style guide. Professional writers often employ professional

editors to edit their
work. Students, however, will need to edit their own work.
Instructors expect every
assignment to be revised and edited before being submitted.
Brainstorming
Brainstorming is the act of generating ideas and considering
ways to approach a topic. There
are dozens of techniques for brainstorming, and some people
have methods they prefer over
A Closer Look: Carol Dweck on Growth Mindset
Stanford University researcher Carol Dweck is known for her
work on mindset. In an article
in Scientific American, she described her findings on mindset,
motivation, and why people
succeed and foster success.
Animal experiments by psychologists Martin Seligman, Steven
Maier and
Richard Solomon, all then at the University of Pennsylvania,
had shown that
after repeated failures, most animals conclude that a situation is
hopeless
and beyond their control. After such an experience, the
researchers found,
an animal often remains passive even when it can effect
change—a state
they called learned helplessness.
People can learn to be helpless, too, but not everyone reacts to

setbacks
this way. I wondered: Why do some students give up when they
encounter
difficulty, whereas others who are no more skilled continue to
strive and
learn? One answer, I soon discovered, lay in people’s beliefs
about why they
had failed.
In particular, attributing poor performance to a lack of ability
depresses
motivation more than does the belief that lack of effort is to
blame. In 1972,
when I taught a group of elementary and middle school children
who
displayed helpless behavior in school that a lack of effort
(rather than lack
of ability) led to their mistakes on math problems, the kids
learned to keep
trying when the problems got tough. They also solved many
more problems
even in the face of difficulty. Another group of helpless
children who were
simply rewarded for their success on easier problems did not
improve
their ability to solve hard math problems. These experiments
were an early
indication that a focus on effort can help resolve helplessness
and engender
success.
Subsequent studies revealed that the most persistent students do
not
ruminate about their own failure much at all but instead think of
mistakes
as problems to be solved. At the University of Illinois in the

1970s I, along
with my then graduate student Carol Diener, asked 60 fifth
graders to think
out loud while they solved very difficult pattern-recognition
problems. Some
students reacted defensively to mistakes, denigrating their skills
. . . and
their problem-solving strategies deteriorated.
Others, meanwhile, focused on fixing errors and honing their
skills. One
advised himself: “I should slow down and try to figure this
out.” Two school-
children were particularly inspiring. One, in the wake of
difficulty, pulled
up his chair, rubbed his hands together, smacked his lips and
said, “I love
a challenge!” The other, also confronting the hard problems,
looked up at
the experimenter and approvingly declared, “I was hoping this
would be
informative!” Predictably, the students with this attitude
outperformed
their cohorts in these studies. (Dweck, 2015, paras. 5–9.
Reproduced with
permission. Copyright © Scientific American, a division of
Nature America,
Inc. All rights reserved.)
others. New writers should experiment with different forms of
brainstorming until they find
a method that works best for them. If you have trouble getting

started with a written assign-
ment, try a new brainstorming technique and see what happens!
The List Maker
Lola is a list maker. She knows she would like to write about
skateboarding culture, but she
does not know where to begin. She grabs a pen and a piece of
paper and sits quietly, focusing
her mind on skateboarding. At this point, she does not worry
about spelling, organization, or
meaning. She simply sits and makes a list of her ideas (see
Figure 2.1).
Lola’s brainstorming session lasts about 5 minutes. When she is
finished, her list is filled with
topics from helmets to music to legal issues to fashion. With all
of these ideas together in
one place, Lola can cross out any topics that seem uninteresting,
inappropriate, or otherwise
unsuitable for the assignment. Then she can consider the rest of
her options and arrive at a
narrowed topic for her paper.
Figure 2.1: Brainstorming by list making
A good way to brainstorm topic ideas is to make a handwritten
list. You can circle, cross out, and
highlight ideas without worrying about organization or
grammar.
The Freewriter
Charlie is a writer who likes to focus on one task at a time.

With 10 minutes of free time
before work, Charlie freewrites on an upcoming assignment
topic. Charlie sits at a laptop and
writes about the topic for 10 minutes straight without worrying
about spelling, grammar, or
structure.
With a clear mind after work, Charlie looks at the freewrite and
finds some ideas that are
interesting and appropriate for the assignment. Those ideas give
Charlie a starting point for
the assignment, and the entire process did not take more than 15
minutes.
The Talker
André is a talker. His mind works best when he is thinking out
loud. His instructor has pro-
vided the class with a list of approved topics, but André is not
sure which one to choose.
Arriving home to an empty apartment after working a late shift,
he grabs his smartphone
and uses the talk-to-text feature to record his ideas. When he
wakes up the next day, he
takes a look at the transcribed note on his phone and makes a
decision about what to write
on (see Figure 2.2).
André’s talk-to-text brainstorming session only took a couple of
minutes. He was able to
freely talk aloud while his phone documented his thoughts so he
could review them later.
Even though André did not have anyone to talk to, technology
enabled him to talk through his
options and decide on the best topic for his work.
Figure 2.2:

Brainstorming by
thinking out loud
Another effective way to
brainstorm topic ideas
is to use a dictation app
on your smartphone
to take notes. You can
talk freely about your
thoughts while the phone
documents your ideas.
The Mind Mapper
Lashonda likes charts and visual organizational tools, especially
for brainstorming. Therefore,
she starts every writing assignment by using a mind-mapping
program. She begins with the
assignment’s broad topic and then explores subtopics, ideas,
examples, and facts that relate to
it. When she is out of ideas, she stops and reviews her mind
map (see Figure 2.3).
Sometimes Lashonda’s brainstorming sessions are quick. Other
times they occupy a bit more
of her time. She keeps a copy of the mind map to help her
develop her position and refute
counterarguments later in the writing process.
Figure 2.3: Brainstorming with a mind map
Creating a mind map is a good way for visual learners to
brainstorm topic and subtopic ideas. Start

with a broad topic, then narrow it down to subtopics and
examples.
The Googling Wikier
Winnie needs to write about a historical era but doesn’t know
where to begin. She starts
with a Google search of “historical eras” and spends an hour
clicking around and reviewing
blogs, social media groups, web publications, and YouTube
videos. She feels most drawn to
the Roaring Twenties, so she checks Wikipedia. While she
knows that Wikipedia is not a cred-
ible source for information, it does contain some good common
knowledge that she can use
to start thinking about her topic. References cited in Wikipedia
articles also give her a place
to begin her research.
Winnie’s brainstorming session took a bit of time, but it was
entertaining and enjoyable.
She gained good background knowledge on the subject and
identified some important key-
words while she brainstormed. Most importantly, her interest is
piqued, and she is excited
to learn more.
Beginning to Research
Researching is not a neat or easy process. Nonfiction writer
Elena Passarello (2016) has
related the research process to an experience she and her
boyfriend had at Yellowstone
National Park. As they were driving through the park, they saw

a little sign with an arrow
pointing to a trail. It read “Point Sublime, 3 mi.” They pulled
over and decided to hike out to
see it.
As they started walking, they laughed about not knowing how
far 3 miles would be, since
neither of them had ever hiked before. Soon they came to a
clearing and saw an amazing
canyon view with a waterfall. They stood in awe as a hawk flew
by carrying its prey. “Wow,”
they thought, “this really is sublime! How amazing!” Then,
however, it dawned on them that
they had only been walking for about 10 minutes, so clearly
they had not yet reached Point
Sublime. They kept walking. As the trail wound around a bend,
they came to a clearing in
the woods that had views over the moun-
tains. There were chipmunks frolicking
right in front of them, and the breeze
blew crisp and cool on their faces. It was
the most amazing moment they had ever
experienced in nature—it was, indeed,
quite sublime! However, they realized
they could not have actually walked a full
3 miles yet. So they kept going. Around
every turn they saw remarkable sights
and heard amazing sounds.
Finally, they reached their destination. At
the end of a dirt path, they found a fallen
fence post and an old, beat-up sign with
bullet holes that read “Point Sublime.”
Ironically, there was nothing sublime
about the actual Point Sublime.

Passarello’s experience is a lot like the
writing process. Points along the way
AmyLaughinghouse/iStock/Thinkstock
Researching may feel daunting at first, but as
you begin to read articles and discover new
perspectives, the process will become clearer. Be
flexible and allow your research to take you in
unexpected directions.
were amazing, and the novice hikers had an amazing
experience. Their predecided destina-
tion, however, was a disappointment. Similarly, writers often
undertake research with a spe-
cific goal or destination in mind. That destination, however,
may prove elusive or may even
turn out to be disappointing. A writer must therefore decide
when to stop and explore along
the way.
The Research Question
Whether you have decided on your own topic or have been
assigned one by your instructor,
your work will need a guiding research question, an answerable
inquiry into the issues and
concerns surrounding a topic. The research question will
harness your curiosity and pro-
vide you with a trail through the “wilderness” of research.
Develop your research question by
thinking about any controversy that surrounds the topic:
• What makes people angry?

• What concerns people?
• What confuses people?
• What is being debated?
• What is the problem?
• What needs to be resolved?
After mulling these issues, develop a single, challenging
question. The question should be
focused but not be phrased as a yes/no question. Rather, aim to
begin the question using
the words how, what, or why, rather than is, can, or did. Your
research question will be your
road map through the research process and will be used to
anchor the paper’s position, so it
should be open to a range of possible answers. If it is too
limited, you may never arrive at the
destination.
An example of an overly limited, yes/no question might be:
• Is this Point Sublime?
An example of a more open, challenging question might be:
• What happens on the way to Point Sublime?
Let’s examine the development of three different research
questions. Suppose that after
brainstorming on the topic of graffiti, Jackson identified four
major issues. He discovered that
graffiti artists are often marginalized by the art community and
rarely win prizes or awards
for their work. He lives in an urban area and often sees graffiti
as vandalism. Jackson often
volunteers to paint over graffiti at his nephew’s Boys and Girls
Club and has seen the damage

some graffiti artists inflict on private property. However, he has
also seen graffiti in other parts
of the city that is truly meaningful and artistic. He mulls the
issues and arrives at a research
question that will help him meaningfully research the topic and
develop an argument that is
thoughtful, appropriate for the rhetorical situation, and based on
research.
Topic Issues Research question
Graffiti • Artists are marginalized
• Vandalism
• Property owners’ rights
• Temporary art
How does the mainstream art commu-
nity regard graffiti art?
Lydia has been assigned a research paper on the subject of
student loan debt. She is fortunate;
her employer pays for her college tuition and books, so she has
never had to consider borrow-
ing money to pay for school. She asked her mother, a teacher’s
aide, if she acquired student
loan debt to earn her associate’s degree 20 years ago. Her
mother explained that community
college tuition was very affordable 20 years ago, so she paid
cash for her classes. However,
one of the third-grade teachers at her school is struggling with
student loan debt that is more
than double her annual salary. They have frequently talked

about the stress and fear the debt
adds to her life. Lydia invites her mother and the third-grade
teacher to coffee to talk about
her experience. After a great conversation and a bit of
subsequent Googling, Lydia identifies
her topic’s key issues: treating education as an investment in
one’s future while simultane-
ously burdening that future with debt that is hard to escape.
Student loan debt • Investment
• Higher wages
• Rising debt
• High interest, few relief programs
What is the impact of student loan
debt on a college graduate’s economic
future?
Toni is a divorced mother of three, while her best friend, Keely,
is 40 years old, childless, and
unmarried. When Toni’s social psychology professor tells
Toni’s class to select an “ism” to
write about, she immediately thinks about a running joke she
and Keely have. Whenever they
talk about splurging on a new purse or day at the beauty salon,
Toni laughs and says, “That’s
what the alimony is for!” Keely jokes back, “Damn this single
life!” Anytime they go to the
movies, Toni laughs and says, “Hooray for the family four pack
pricing! Half off!” Keely will
joke back, “Damn this single life! Always full price!” In all
seriousness, however, Toni sees how
Keely has a different financial burden than someone who is
married, has children, or even

widowed or divorced. She has also witnessed how Keely
struggled after getting into a car acci-
dent; Keely had no one at home to help her and was forced to
return to work before she had
completely healed. Her friends and coworkers all chipped in to
help her pay for a home health
aide to assist her for a month; she could not afford the cost of
the aide on her own. Toni won-
dered if “singlism” was impacting Keely’s life in real,
meaningful ways. She brainstormed a
list of everything she had experienced with Keely and identified
a few major issues to explore
through research.
Singlism • Childless, never-married people
subsidizing the economy via taxes
(no special deductions)
• Consumer pricing favors families
• Sharing economy (households
with multiple adults bring in more
income, can split costs)
• Increased costs in retirement,
health care
What is the relationship between mar-
ital status and economic prosperity in
the United States?

A Digital Library
With a research question in hand, the search for information can
begin. Libraries and literary
collections have kept staff busy digitizing their materials,
securing copyright licensing, and
building web-based portals to provide researchers across the
globe access to their collec-
tions day and night. These digital libraries offer the same
materials to someone at a home
computer as anyone physically at the library, so long as they are
a registered user. As a college
student, you are a member of your university’s library and thus
have full access to its digital
library. A digital library can contain just as many books,
videos, journals, periodicals, and
tutorials as a large physical building—in some cases, even
more! In addition, librarians and
tutors staff some digital libraries 24 hours a day.
A digital library is not a search engine. It is an access portal
that provides digital versions of
materials the library has paid for.
Most university libraries also offer research guides, which are
tools for locating information
on a particular subject. Librarians will pull the best resources
from the library and Internet
and bundle them into a single guide. In a digital library, a
research guide usually consists of a
web page with links to specific journals, e-books, Internet
resources, and affiliated organiza-
tions or associations online. The research guide may also
contain contact information for a
librarian who is particularly knowledgeable about a specific
subject. Most student research-

ers will begin their quest with a research guide.
Developing a Working Thesis Statement
Once you have familiarized yourself with the topic and begun to
research, you will start to
form a position. Your paper’s position will be clearly stated in a
clear, concise thesis state-
ment. Your working thesis statement should be an arguable,
single-sentence response to
the research question. A complex thesis statement will
sometimes require two sentences but
should not be any longer than that.
Recall that Jackson is writing an academic paper on the subject
of graffiti. He developed his
research question based on the issues he identified. Using the
digital library, he found several
resources and uncovered multiple articles that explore the
concept of graffiti as high art. He
is fairly certain that his paper will argue that graffiti is gaining
respect and prestige in the
art world. He will use his findings and his research question to
construct a working thesis
statement:
Research Question: How does the mainstream art community
regard graffiti art?
Thesis Statement (Answer): Despite the criminality of
vandalism and the public nuisance
it can create, America’s mainstream art community has
embraced graffiti as a legitimate
form of art.
Now Jackson has a clear position that will be the focus of his
work. He has developed

a working thesis statement that will guide his writing going
forward. He may adjust or
change the thesis statement as he researches, develops his
argument, drafts his paper, and
revises his work.
Like Jackson, your working thesis statement can be revised as
often as necessary. As you con-
tinue to move through the prewriting process, analyze your
working thesis statement accord-
ing to these questions from “The Defensible Thesis” (2000):
• Is it a complete sentence?
• Does it express a debatable opinion—not a fact or “goes-
without-saying” opinion?
• Can the opposite be argued?
• Can the thesis be argued rationally, not just emotionally or as
a matter of faith?
• Is it substantial enough for a complete essay? (para. 4)
As you conduct research and build your argument, return often
to your research question and
thesis statement; let them guide you as you work. It can help to
write them down on Post-it
notes that you affix to your computer monitor.
A Closer Look: More Examples includes examples of more
research questions and working
thesis statements.
A Closer Look: More Examples

The following are examples of initial research questions and the
resulting working thesis
statements. As you read, keep in mind that research questions
and working thesis state-
ments are rarely perfect the first time and often need to be
revised throughout the writing
process. Do you think these research questions and working
thesis statements could be
improved?
Research Question: What is the political party of the American
Latino voter?
Working Thesis Statement: Although the Republican Party has
made great strides to appeal
to the Latino American population, the Democratic Party
remains the party that best repre-
sents the morals, desires, and preferences of Latino Americans.
Research Question: What is New York’s position on the rights
and responsibilities transgen-
der people?
Working Thesis Statement: New Yorkers are divided in their
understanding of the transgen-
der experience; however, a lack of understanding should not be
a barrier to equal rights,
and, therefore, transgender people should be permitted to live
exclusively as their chosen
gender with all rights, privileges, and legal designations of their
chosen gender in the state
of New York.
Research Question: What is the cause of the shrinking middle
class in America?

Working Thesis Statement: The widening income gap is not due
to the success of a small
percentage of people, and therefore, higher tax rates for the
largest income earners will not
help strengthen the middle class in America.
Thesis Statement Versus Purpose Statement
A thesis statement declares a paper’s position—therefore, it
should state an arguable posi-
tion. Some documents, however, require a purpose statement
rather than a thesis state-
ment. Unlike a thesis, a purpose statement announces the paper
and directly expresses why
the paper was written but without stating a position (see Table
2.1). It directly acknowledges
the speaker and purpose. A purpose statement is a statement of
intent, not an arguable claim.
Table 2.1: Comparing thesis and purpose statements
Thesis statement Purpose statement
Despite the criminality of vandalism and the public
nuisance it can create, America’s mainstream art
community has embraced graffiti as a legitimate
form of art.
This essay examines how the mainstream art com-
munity approaches graffiti art.
The widening income gap is not due to the suc-
cess of a small percentage of people, and therefore,

higher tax rates for the largest income earners will
not help to strengthen the middle class in America.
In this paper, I will disprove the myth that rais-
ing taxes on America’s highest earners would
strengthen the middle class.
Although the Republican Party has made great
strides to appeal to the Latino American popula-
tion, the Democratic Party remains the party that
best represents the morals, desires, preferences of
Latino Americans.
In this paper, the United States’ two major politi-
cal parties will be analyzed in the context of Latino
American culture.
G R A M M A R S P O T L I G H T : PA S S I V E A N D A
C T I V E
V O I C E
Passive voice can pose a barrier to clarity. Active voice is more
direct and appropriate for
academic and business writing.
Active Voice
In a sentence written in active voice, the subject does the
action.
• My dog ate her food.
In active voice, the doer of the action comes first. Active voice
is most appropriate when a mes-
sage needs to be delivered clearly and directly.
Passive Voice

In a sentence written in passive voice, the subject does not do
the action, but is instead acted
upon.
• The food was eaten by my dog.
Keeping an Annotated Bibliography
You will need to properly cite your sources at each stage of
writing. What happens if you lose
track of your resources and forget where you originally found a
piece of information? To avoid
this, it is very important for you to stay organized while you
research.
Keeping an annotated bibliography can help you organize your
information and share it
with others. This tool allows you to reflect on the value of each
source and keep track of
your research during the prewriting process. Once you begin
writing, you can refer to the
annotated bibliography when citing information and introducing
experts to your reader. You
will also end up with an informative document to share with
your instructor, tutor, research
partner, or any other collaborator.
Australian Information Service professional Jennifer King
(2010) outlines the following
important purposes an annotated bibliography serves. Creating
one can help you accomplish

the following:
• Review the literature on a particular subject
• Illustrate the scope and quality of your research, showing that
you have read and
understood your sources
• Describe other items on a topic that may be of interest to the
reader
• Provide a way for future researchers to decide whether a
source will be helpful to
their own research if they read it (p. 35)
It is also useful to list your research question or working thesis
statement at the top of the
annotated bibliography. Annotations should analyze the
source’s connection to your research
goals. The first step in creating an annotated bibliography is to
write a full reference citation
for each source according to the style guide you are using.
(Remember, each style guide has
its own formatting requirements.) Then write a few paragraphs
about each source using your
own words. These paragraphs are the annotations. An annotation
should always include the
following:
• A full summary of the source, including its research
methodology, findings, and
limitations
G R A M M A R S P O T L I G H T : PA S S I V E A N D A
C T I V E
V O I C E ( c o n t i n u e d )

In passive voice, the receiver of the action comes first, while
the doer of the action often
appears last. The reader may get confused when the doer of the
action is not immediately
clear. Passive voice can be appropriate when “softening the
blow” or otherwise avoiding a
direct message, but is not appropriate when clarity is important.
Image: Kilroy79/iStock/Thinkstock
• A statement of credibility, ideally performed through the
CRAAP test (see Chapter 3
for more)
• A description of SOAPS (see Chapter 1)
• An analysis of how you will use the information in your
argument
Using a Research Notebook
A personal research notebook is also an
effective tool for organizing informa-
tion throughout the research process.
A research notebook is not intended to
be shared with others, but it is valuable
to you as the researcher-writer. Many
students and writers prefer to keep a
lose-leaf binder, journal, or spiral-bound
notebook to take research notes by hand.
Others prefer to use a preformatted digital
document for research notes. Careful note
taking can help you track information and
prevent you from duplicating your efforts.

Whichever method you choose, remem-
ber to keep careful notes on the following:
• SOAPS for the project (subject, occasion, audience, purpose,
and speaker)
• Research guidelines: assignment instructions, research
question, and working thesis
statement
• Search methods: databases searched, keywords used, filters
utilized
• Source information: author, title, year, publication information
• Information summary:
– SOAPS for the document (subject, occasion, audience,
purpose, and speaker)
– Major points, methodology, findings, currency
– Relevance: relationship to research question, synthesis with
other information
Creating an Outline
One of the final steps in the prewriting stage is to create a
formal outline—the structured
plan that will help you organize your ideas and subordinate
topics. Your outline need not be
complicated; the following basic structure will work:
• Introduction (including thesis statement)
• Body paragraphs (built around each subtopic)
• Conclusion (final argument that reiterates the thesis statement)
Begin with the key subtopics you will address in your paper.
List the topics using Roman
numerals (I, II, III, IV, V, VI, etc.). These entries will become
your body paragraphs. Add the
introduction paragraph to the top of the list and the conclusion

paragraph to the bottom of
the list.
Rawpixel/iStock/Thinkstock
A research notebook (either hard copy or
digital) allows you to keep your research, notes,
methods, and guidelines organized in one place.
I. Introduction
II. Subtopic 1
III. Subtopic 2
IV. Subtopic 3
V. Subtopic 4
VI. Subtopic 5
VII. Conclusion
Then list subordinate ideas, or ideas that are grouped under each
subtopic, using capital Latin
letters (A, B, C, D, etc.) and numerals (1, 2, 3, 4, etc.). Ideas
need to directly relate to the cor-
responding subtopic. Add evidence and examples from your
research whenever appropriate.
I. Introduction
II. Subtopic 1
A. Idea 1a
1. Example (cited)
B. Idea 1b
1. Example (cited)

III. Subtopic 2
A. Idea 2a
1. Evidence (cited)
2. Evidence (cited)
B. Counterargument
1. Rebuttal and evidence (cited)
IV. Subtopic 3
A. Idea 3a
1. Evidence (cited)
2. Example (cited)
B. Idea 3b
1. Evidence (cited)
V. Subtopic 4
A. Idea 4a
1. Evidence (cited)
2. Evidence (cited)
B. Counterargument
VI. Subtopic 5
A. Idea 5a
1. Evidence (cited)
2. Evidence (cited)
B. Counterargument

VII. Conclusion
Once you have completed a basic outline, you may need to step
back and look at your work
with fresh eyes.
• Does the information flow well from one topic to the next?
Section 2.2Drafting
• Should you move paragraph 2 down a bit?
• Does it make more sense to begin the body of the paper with
paragraph 3 or 4?
Shuffle your paragraphs as often as you need until everything
makes sense and flows from
beginning to end. It may help to write information on index
cards: Use one card for each
Roman numeral. Then try physically shuffling them like a deck
of cards. Or you can write your
ideas down on Post-it notes to achieve a similar effect—try
moving them around and arrang-
ing them in different ways. Once you have solidified the order
of your paragraphs, rewrite
your outline so it reflects the best sequence. Then fill in your
research information and cita-
tions. Voila! You have constructed an outline for your paper. It
will serve as your road map to
the final draft.
2.2 Drafting
If you have given prewriting your best
effort, you are ready to begin drafting
your paper. Drafting is the creation of a

preliminary version of a text. Do not pres-
sure yourself to make your first attempt
perfect. All roughs drafts are . . . rough.
A rough draft is never a writer’s best
work (see A Closer Look: Anne Lamott on
Drafting).
Writers who tend to have the Use First
Precision Learning Pattern and tend to be
perfectionists may have a hard time get-
ting started or moving forward because
they are aiming for excellence on their
first try. In fact, they may work so hard on
the first draft that they assume it can serve
as a solid final paper. However, this is not
the case. Writers who tend to Use Conflu-
ence First may feel like risking the consequences of skipping
the revision phase and submit-
ting a rough draft to save time. Those writers will also find out
that this is a mistake. All writ-
ers of all possible Learning Pattern combinations need to revise
their first drafts. No matter
how confident a writer may feel, the first draft will always be
inferior to a final version that
has benefited from revision.
Milkos/iStock/Thinkstock
It can take a while for your brain to “warm up”
when you begin to draft your essay. Though the
task may seem intimidating, keep in mind that
a rough draft is never a writer’s best work; it is
just a starting point.
A Closer Look: Anne Lamott on Drafting
If you are feeling discouraged about your first drafts, check out

American writer Anne
Lamott’s essay “Shitty First Drafts.” Remember that your drafts
are just that: drafts!
https://wrd.as.uky.edu/sites/default/files/1-
Shitty%20First%20Drafts.pdf
Section 2.2Drafting
Understanding Structure
Formal essays follow a formal structure. Your outline provides
you with a basic framework,
which is:
• Introduction
• Body paragraphs
• Conclusion
Just like your favorite courtroom drama television attorney, you
will need to introduce the
audience to your argument, give them all of the information,
piece by piece, and then leave
them with a persuasive closing statement.
Body Paragraphs
Although your paper will begin with an introduction, it is often
easier to begin drafting the
body paragraphs first. Use your outline to structure ideas and
build each paragraph, begin-
ning with a topic sentence that announces the subtopic and
indicates the claim(s) the para-
graph will present. Then share examples and evidence from your
research. Finally, discuss the
information within the context of your argument and transition

to the next subtopic. Repeat
this process for each subtopic until you have completed a draft
of all body paragraphs.
1. Topic sentence
2. Claim(s) + evidence
3. Discussion, transition
Construct each body paragraph on its own, following the three-
section formula and using
formal Edited American English (see A Closer Look: Edited
American English for characteris-
tics of EAE). Remember, this is just a first draft. You can
improve your work later!
A Closer Look: Edited American English
Features of Edited American English
No contractions
Contractions are not used in
EAE. Use full phrases (like
“do not”) rather than con-
tractions (like “don’t”).
Active voice
The subject of the sentence
should be taking action. A
subject should not have the
action put upon it.
Formal sentence structure
Sentences are always
complete and properly
structured. EAE is free from
run-on sentences or other

sentence-level errors.
Section 2.2Drafting
Introduction Paragraph
Once the body paragraphs have been developed, review your
argument. You will need to con-
struct an introduction paragraph that gives your audience
sufficient background information
and presents your thesis statement. Introductory comments must
be tailored to the rhetori-
cal situation, so remember your SOAPS! Give your audience a
clear idea of the topic and set
the stage for your argument. Then end the introduction
paragraph with your single-sentence
thesis statement.
If your body paragraphs have taken your argument in a slightly
different direction, or if you
have added additional subtopics to the body of your paper,
revise your thesis statement
accordingly. It may be helpful to make a list of your topic
sentences to check their relationship
to the thesis statement. For example, Yolanda completed a
rough draft of her body paragraphs
but still needs to check her thesis statement before drafting an
introduction. She has made a
list of the topic sentences that open each body paragraph:
A Closer Look: Edited American English (continued)
Features of Edited American English

No vague pronouns
Pronouns like he, she, they,
and it can be confusing to the
reader. Use proper nouns or
descriptive nouns instead.
Last names and gender
neutrality
People are referred to by
last name. Gender-specific
titles such as Mr. or Mrs. are
discouraged. The pronoun
they can be used as a singu-
lar, gender-neutral pronoun
when necessary.
Standard capitalization
EAE follows title-case and
sentence-case capitalization
rules. Words are not written
in all capital letters except to
denote an acronym.
No slang
Slang, colloquialisms, neolo-
gisms, euphemisms, double-
speak, and clichés should be
avoided.
Clear and concise
EAE is not wordy, pompous,
or otherwise verbose. Word
choice is accurate, and mean-
ing is clear.
Spelling and punctuation

EAE follows standard Ameri-
can spelling and punctua-
tion. Punctuation is not used
to create characters, such as
emoticons.
Yolanda’s Topic Sentences
• Pet overpopulation in America is causing environmental and
sociological problems.
• Designer and purebred dogs are created by artificial genetic
modification through
selective breeding practices.
• Selective breeding practices result in exacerbated medical
conditions in canines.
• Rescue organizations do not participate in selective breeding
for designer or purebred
animals.
• Rescue organizations reduce the pet population in America by
spaying and neutering all
animals before they are released.
Section 2.2Drafting
Yolanda can now check each topic sentence against her thesis
statement to make sure the
thesis covers the topic and there are no stray ideas or tangents.
She makes revisions and
develops a very rough draft introduction paragraph—with typos
and errors, as is to be
expected at this stage—that ends with a revised thesis

statement.
Conclusion Paragraph
Conclusions are often an afterthought and tend to get written
when a student is burned out,
tired, or feeling careless. However, a sloppy conclusion will
leave your reader dissatisfied.
Your introduction and conclusion must be as well developed as
all of your paper’s other para-
graphs. Think carefully about the function of your conclusion,
as well as your audience’s read-
ing experience. Your introduction may have been fairly long
because its job was to prepare the
audience for the argument. You had to provide context and
background information before
introducing the paper’s position. The conclusion paragraph
serves a different purpose, and
thus it may be much shorter than the introduction.
Examine your outline and body paragraph topic sentences
before drafting your conclusion.
Which topics are most essential? What does your audience need
to remember about your
argument? Review your introduction and thesis statement. You
will need to create a similar—
but not identical—statement for your conclusion. How can you
restate this information in a
new and meaningful way?
Begin writing the conclusion as a summary of the paper’s topic
sentences. Then remind the
audience of the paper’s position by reinforcing the claim you
made in your thesis statement.
Finally, provide a suggestion, recommendation, or consideration
for the future or end with a
call to action. It is okay to begin with a formulaic conclusion,

so long as you give yourself time
to revise it and make it powerful.
To give your audience a strong, persuasive closing statement,
avoid these common traps:
• Do not restate your thesis word for word.
• Do not introduce new information or evidence.
• Do not slip into personal reflection.
• Do not directly tell your reader what to do. Conclude the
argument with a call to
action that makes your reader want to act instead.
Yolanda’s Introduction First Draft
Dog’s are important members of many families, especially since
they live for many years and
can be with children from childhood all the way through until
they become adults. People
without children also enjoy having dogs in their lives as
surrogates for the parent-child rela-
tionship. There are man ways to obtain a dog in America
nowadays. First, there is pet stores.
Second there are licensed breeders. Then there are unlicensed or
home breeders. There are
also many shelters and rescue organizations that take care of
homeless or unwanted pets until
they’re forever family can be found. Due to the pet
overpopulation in America and the exac-
erbated medical ramifications of selective breeding, people
should adopt rescued dogs rather
than purchase a puppy from any type of breeder or pet store.
Section 2.2Drafting

• Do not quote sources. Your audience wants to hear the
conclusion of your specific
argument.
• Do not announce the paragraph. Your audience should be able
to identify the conclu-
sion statement without a signal phrase like “in conclusion . . .”
• Do not fall into first-person or second-person perspective.
Maintain your academic
voice.
By avoiding these pitfalls, Yolanda can draft a rough conclusion
paragraph that she can revise
and improve later.
Creating the Title
Once you have completed your first rough draft, you are ready
to give it a strong, unique title.
You may have applied a working title to your paper while you
were prewriting, but now it is
time to give it a proper name.
Academic papers should have descriptive titles that are specific
and original. Refrain from
using a sarcastic, silly, or trendy title. Instead, focus on the
subject, position, and specifics of
your paper and create a title that accurately reflects these
elements. Examples of strong titles
include:
• “Sixteenth-Century Philosophy and Modern Implications for
Election-Year Politics”
• “Judy Garland and the Systematic Destruction of Women by
the Hollywood Machine”

• “The Influence of Christianity on Stranger Things and The
Walking Dead”
If you want to include a clever hook in your title, use a colon
before adding the more formal
portion:
• “Take a Knee: The First Amendment and Workplace Protest in
America”
• “An Imaginary Glass Ceiling: The Role of White Men in
Organizational Leadership
and Equality”
• “Good Fences Make Good Neighbors: The ‘Folk Logic’ and
‘Common Sense’ Driving
Politics in 2010s America”
Your title should be specific enough to prepare your audience
for the argument and also dis-
tinctive enough that no one else would be likely to use the same
one. Consider the ways in
which you have approached your subject, brainstormed ideas,
identified issues, asked ques-
tions, researched the topic, and developed a position. Think
about your individual perspec-
tive and process and create a title that encapsulates your unique
argument.
Yolanda’s Rough Conclusion Paragraph
The sale of commercially bred puppies from pet stores should
be banned unless all ethical
recommendations become legally mandatory. In the meantime,
many mixed-breed dogs in
shelters are in need of homes. Therefore, families should first
consider adopting a dog from a

shelter or rescue organization rather than purchasing a puppy
from an unregulated commer-
cial enterprise like a pet store or large breeding enterprise.
Section 2.3Collaboration and Feedback
2.3 Collaboration and Feedback
It can feel awkward to give or receive feedback. Sometimes we
feel as though feedback on an
assignment reflects someone else’s assumption or judgment
about us. The truth, however, is
that feedback is a set of observations about the writing, not the
writer. Once we understand
that there is a difference between our work and our selves, we
will be in a better position to
give and receive good feedback. Remember, feedback comprises
observations about a docu-
ment and does not constitute a judgment about the person who
wrote it.
It is important to take time to prepare for the feedback process,
whether giving or receiving
it. Educational expert Marilee Adams (2013) suggests using the
“ABCD Choice Process.” This
process is experienced through four steps:
• The first step is to pause and become aware of your current
state of mind. You may
be feeling like a judge—or like you are being judged—rather
than a learner. You
may be slipping into a fixed mindset rather than adopting a
growth mindset. Adams
(2013) tells us to be aware of our state of mind so we can
intentionally choose to

approach the task as a learner with a growth mindset.
• The second step is to breathe. A strong, mindful deep breath
can reduce stress
and clear your mind. Take deep breaths until you feel calm,
centered, and prepared
to learn.
• Once you feel calm, you can open yourself up to curiosity.
Curiosity requires you to
be comfortable with the unknown and also prepared to ask
questions.
• After opening your mind and becoming curious, you will be
prepared to decide. At
this point, you are prepared to give good feedback and receive it
from others.
Working With Tutors
Most universities offer tutoring services for free or at a very
reduced price. Tutors are avail-
able for students of all skill levels in all stages of their writing
process. To get the most out
of a tutoring session, organize your materials and have an
assignment’s instructions nearby.
Also keep the grading rubric on hand so your tutor is aware of
how your assignment will be
assessed. Schedule tutoring as early as possible so you have
time to reflect on the experience
and use the information long before an assignment is due.
Remember to approach tutoring with a growth mindset. The
tutor will offer you guidance
and suggestions but will not do the work for you. Do not be
frustrated if the tutor spends
time teaching you to help yourself rather than fixing your

problems. A tutor’s job is to provide
you with one-on-one guidance and support so you can develop
your skills and improve your
writing.
While collaborating with a tutor, listen carefully. Take notes
and speak up should you have a
question. A tutor may use an unfamiliar word or communicate
differently than your instruc-
tor. If you do not understand a tutor’s comments, ask for
clarification. If you have specific
concerns the tutor has not addressed, bring them up. Tutors are
a great resource for advice,
clarification, and skill development, but they are not mind
readers. The more communicative
you are with your tutor, the better your experience will be.
Instructor Feedback
An instructor will provide feedback on assignments, which must
be used to build your skills
and improve your writing. Instructor feedback offers you the
chance to receive a fresh per-
spective on your work and one-on-one instruction. It can be
unnerving to turn your work
over to an audience; however, writers must eventually invite
others to read their work. Your
instructor will provide you with the audience’s perspective
while giving you guidance, sug-
gestions, and corrections.
Instructors would love to spend hours on each assignment,
diving into the work and engaging

with you on your plans for revision. However, they are
responsible for helping every student
in class and may not be able to provide as much in-depth
attention and explanation as they
would like. Therefore, instructors tend to prioritize the feedback
they have for you, giving you
the information they think is most necessary.
Instructor comments are sometimes very brief (see Table 2.2).
When an instructor leaves you
a quick note on your marked-up paper, they assume you know
what the comment means. If
you are confused, ask! Request that the instructor provide an
example or elaborate on what
was meant.
Table 2.2: Sample instructor comments
Quick comment What it means
Too broad
Narrow the focus
Your explanation may be too vague. Add more detail and
specificity
to your work. Make sure the information is tied directly to your
thesis
statement.
Underdeveloped
Explain
Elaborate
You may have rushed over an idea; your audience needs more
informa-
tion. Think about your audience, refer to your research, and add

addi-
tional evidence and discussion to the paragraph.
Wordy
Verbose
Simplify
You may be overcomplicating your message. Sentences should
not be
overly complex, jargon should be limited and appropriate, and
messages
should be delivered clearly and simply. Work on writing in a
more direct
and concise style.
Unclear
What is the point?
State the position
Your thesis statement may be observational, unspecific, or
missing alto-
gether. Take some time to review your research question, reflect
on your
body paragraphs, and then clearly state a specific, arguable
thesis.
Cite
Citation needed
Source?
You may have made a claim without supporting evidence or
shared
research without telling your audience where the information
came from.
Make sure the source of information is always clearly
communicated to

the audience.
Awkward The passage is hard to read due to grammatical errors,
inaccurate word
choice, poor sentence structure, or typos. Read your work aloud
and see if
you can catch the issue.
Table 2.2: Sample instructor comments (continued)
Quick comment What it means
Tangent
Red herring
You may have strayed off topic. Take a close look at your thesis
statement
or topic sentence and make sure content is related and
applicable. Resolve
the issue by removing the stray passage or weaving it into the
argument
in a more direct way.
Grammar
Grammatical mistake
Spelling
Punctuation
An instructor will not spend time editing mechanical mistakes
but may let

you know that your work contains errors. It is your
responsibility to edit
your work and make corrections yourself.
Voice
Register
Tone
Perspective
You will need to revise your work so it has an academic voice,
is writ-
ten in Edited American English, or is more closely tied to the
rhetorical
situation.
Peer Review
One of the best ways to move the revision process forward is to
collaborate with your peers.
Students are fortunate to have a classroom full of peers. Having
another student peer review
your work offers you a chance to solicit a reader’s responses
and ideas. When you receive a
peer review, focus on the collaborative process. Remember, you
should be working with—not
against—a reviewer to improve your writing.
• Do not take criticism personally. Remember, your reviewer is
analyzing your writing
and is not judging you.
• Keep an eye out for differences in opinion or perspectives
between you and your
reviewer. If a reviewer tells you they are confused or if they
contradict or disagree
with you, other readers are likely to have the same reaction.
Figure out why your

reviewer was challenged and take time to correct the problem.
• Prioritize the reviewer’s concerns. Your reviewer may provide
you with a lot of
suggestions and advice. Think about the biggest issues and
decide which comments
require your attention and which do not.
• Take care with feedback that introduces contradictions or
inaccuracies into your
work. A peer reviewer may make mistakes or have inaccurate
information. It is pos-
sible that a peer reviewer might give you a suggestion that
contradicts information
from class or otherwise is out of step with feedback you have
received from your
instructor. When in doubt, ask the reviewer or verify with the
instructor.
Peer review is a reciprocal experience. If you accept a review
from a peer, offer a review
in return. Remember the Golden Rule from elementary school?
It is an important part of a
writers’ workshop, too: Review the work of others as you would
like your own work to be
reviewed. If you formatted your in-text citations incorrectly,
wouldn’t you want someone to
tell you? If your thesis statement needs work, wouldn’t you
appreciate some suggestions?
What sort of help will benefit you as you revise? Just as when
you received feedback from a
peer, focus on being collaborative when you review a peer’s
work:

Section 2.4Revision
• Recap information. When you restate the writer’s ideas, it
helps the writer see
whether an audience understands his or her message.
• Behave like a coach rather than a boss. Offer suggestions
without telling the writer
what to do or how to do it.
• Highlight things that are working well. Do not hand out gold
stars or vague praise
like “great job.” Point out specific elements that are effective
and identify the writer’s
specific strengths.
• Ask questions. Tell the writer where you were confused or
desired more informa-
tion. Help the writer see where other readers may have
questions or get confused.
2.4 Revision
Once you have worked with a tutor, re-
ceived feedback, and had your work
reviewed, you will be ready to revise your
rough first draft and make it the best final
draft it can be. Revising is when the writer
uses feedback and review to make global
changes. Revision is important to all writ-
ten assignments; every first draft contains
errors, awkward passages, and areas for
improvement. Think about the big picture
as you revise. Make sure your argument is
logical and supported by appropriate evi-
dence. Take your time and enjoy the revi-
sion process. Think of yourself as carving

a beautiful statue from a rough block of
stone!
The Big Picture
Take a step back and think about context and the rhetorical
situation. When you began the
writing process, you considered the rhetorical situation by
identifying the subject, occasion,
audience, purpose, and speaker (SOAPS). Take a look at your
work and make sure it is appro-
priate for the situation. Then review the assignment instructions
and grading rubric and make
sure your work meets the requirements. If it does not align with
the instructor’s expectations,
make a plan to address the problem.
Organization and Flow
Review your draft for organization and flow and refer to your
tutoring notes, peer review, and
instructor feedback. Pay close attention to comments regarding
transitions, the progression
of ideas, and the order of the body paragraphs. Revise the body
of the paper to improve flow
and strengthen organization.
g-stockstudio/iStock/Thinkstock
Revision is an important step in the writing
process. As you revise, consider your paper’s big
picture, organization and flow, thesis statement,
and the rhetorical situation.
Section 2.4Revision
Approach your paper from a reader’s perspective. Imagine you

are the audience, reading
the information for the first time. Ask yourself the following
questions to gain the reader’s
perspective:
• Does information follow a logical order, or does it skip
around?
• Does the reader have enough context in the introduction to
understand the specific
argument?
• Is the point of the paper clear from the start?
• Will the reader be engaged in the message, or might they
think, “So what”?
• Is the focus clear? Does the paper stray off topic?
• Does each body paragraph lead logically to the next?
The Reverse Outline
A reverse outline can help you analyze your paper’s structure
and organization as you revise.
If your prewriting outline was your road map, your reverse
outline will be a GPS record of
where you have actually been. Use the same alphanumeric
structure you used in your pre-
writing outline to review your paper’s basic structure.
Revising a Thesis Statement
As the argument changes as a result of the revision process, so
too should the thesis state-
ment change. Your working thesis statement served as a tool to
keep you focused on your
argument without getting sidetracked by tangential information
or ideas beyond its scope.
As you developed your first draft, the thesis statement became a
tool the audience could use
to understand your paper’s position. Now it is time to revise the

thesis statement and create
a final version.
It is essential that the thesis statement clearly and specifically
declare your argument. It is
common for a working thesis statement to be observational but
not arguable. When that hap-
pens, the writer must return to the research question and revise
the thesis statement to state
a clear, arguable position.
An observational thesis statement names the writer’s topic. For
example:
• Many pet owners agree that dogs should be obtained from
shelters instead of pet
stores.
An arguable thesis statement states the writer’s argument. For
example:
• Due to the pet overpopulation in America and the exacerbated
medical ramifications
of selective breeding, municipal laws should be ratified to
outlaw the sale of kittens
and puppies from unregulated breeders and pet stores.
The thesis statement should be the final sentence of the
introduction. Revise the thesis state-
ment and make sure it is located at the end of the paragraph.
Section 2.4Revision
Filling the Gaps

As you revise, you may find that your argument has holes, or
you may find gaps in your paper’s
structure. Identify the areas of your draft that need further
development and restart the writ-
ing process. Pay close attention to the subtopic and consult your
research notes to locate
more evidence, additional examples, or extra information that
better develops the idea. If you
do not have what you need, restart your research process.
Return to the digital library and
search for information to support your argument’s subtopic.
Then add the information to the
appropriate body paragraph or draft an entirely new body
paragraph.
Once you have filled the gaps, recheck your work for
organization and flow. Your revisions
may have changed the way your argument progresses, which
may require work to be reorga-
nized. Take another look at your thesis statement to make sure
it still comprehensively covers
the argument. Make changes until you are confident that the
material you have added served
to strengthen your argument.
Introduction and Conclusion
After revising the paper’s body and thesis, turn your attention
to the introduction and con-
clusions. Your revisions may have changed the way your
argument reaches the audience,
and your introduction and conclusion will need to be adjusted to
reflect the new message.
Remember, the introduction paragraph should begin broadly and
then become more narrow
until it ends with the specific thesis statement (see Figure 2.4).

G R A M M A R S P O T L I G H T : W O R D I N E S S A N
D
C O N C I S I O N
Concision is the skill of using fewer words to effectively
convey a message. Wordiness, on the
other hand, is when a writer uses too many words to convey a
message. The seminal writing
text, Elements of Style, states that effective writing is concise
and well edited (Strunk, 1918).
To write more concisely, consider wordiness pitfalls at every
level of writing:
• Sentence level
– Check for unnecessary words
– Remove repetitive words
– Delete intensifiers like really, very, quite, extremely
• Paragraph level
– Check for unnecessary sentences
– Remove repetitive sentences or phrases
– Delete unoriginal phrases like all things considered, as a
matter of fact, at the present
time, in this day and age, due to the fact that, for all intents and
purposes, nowadays
Wordiness tends to obscure a writer’s ideas and can frustrate a
reader. Reading wordy work
can be like walking into a house overcrowded with stuff. There
is too much clutter to see
where you are or should go. Clear out the clutter, and you will
craft a clearer message and
more successful argument.
Image: Kilroy79/iStock/Thinkstock

Section 2.4Revision
Figure 2.4: Introduction
Use this illustration as a guide for how to structure your
introduction paragraph. Start with
background and context to set up your argument and lead into
your thesis statement.
Yolanda paid close attention as she revised her essay and
thought about the experience her
audience would have while reading her paper. Then she made
changes to her introduction to
give a reader enough background information and context to set
up the argument and present
the thesis statement.
The conclusion reverses this pattern. It begins with a reminder
of the paper’s thesis state-
ment and ends with a broader universal message (see Figure
2.5).
Yolanda’s Revised Introduction
Dogs are important members of many families, especially since
they live for many years and
can be with children from childhood all the way through until
they become adults. People
without children also enjoy having dogs in their lives as
surrogates for the parent-child rela-
tionship. There are many ways to obtain a dog in America and
similar western countries.
Many people choose to obtain a puppy from a pet store in a
shopping center, mall, or another

commercial storefront. Others seek out puppies from seemingly
licensed breeders; however,
many puppies are also supplied by unlicensed or home breeders.
Because of the sheer num-
ber of dogs lost or abandoned, shelters and rescue organizations
that take care of homeless
or unwanted pets until a forever family can be found. Family
pets should be seen as a lifetime
guardianship commitment and not a frivolous financial business
transaction. The ramifica-
tions of treating living creatures as consumer goods are great.
Due to the pet overpopulation
in America and the exacerbated medical ramifications of
selective breeding, it is more ethical
to adopt a rescued dog than to purchase a commercially bred
puppy.
Section 2.5Editing
Figure 2.5: Conclusion
Use this illustration as a guide for how to structure your
conclusion paragraph. Start with the specific
thesis statement and recap and end with a broad universal
message or call to action.
Again, Yolanda considered her revised essay and introduction
paragraph before turning her
attention to the conclusion paragraph. She revisited the thesis
statement, then drew out more
universal information to end on a strong call to action.
2.5 Editing
A final draft is complete when a writer successfully undergoes

the entire writing process. A
revised draft is nearly done but is not yet complete. A final
draft is only final when there is
nothing more a writer can do to improve it. The last stage in the
writing process involves edit-
ing, in which the writer corrects mistakes.
Yolanda’s Revised Conclusion Paragraph
Pet overpopulation is a real concern in America, negatively
impacting quality of life and envi-
ronmental safety. Additional animals bred through selective
breeding for popular character-
istics not only add to the pet population, but they also suffer
from exacerbated medical condi-
tions and genetic disease. Meanwhile, shelters and rescue
groups are overflowing with home-
less pets in need. Shelters and rescue groups vaccinate and spay
or neuter each pet before
releasing them to pre-screened families, reducing the potential
for pet population growth and
assuring better potential quality of life. The sale of
commercially-bred puppies from pet stores
should be banned unless all ethical recommendations become
legally mandatory. Therefore,
families should first consider adopting a dog from a shelter or
rescue organization rather
than purchasing a puppy from an unregulated commercial
enterprise like a pet store or large
breeding enterprise.
Section 2.5Editing
Format
The style guide will dictate how your paper is formatted. You

may enjoy looking at stylized
fonts and graphic borders, but you will need to conform to the
requirements of the style guide.
Double-check your document and make sure you have properly
formatted the following ele-
ments of your paper:
• Title page and title block
• Font (type, size, and color)
• Margins (width and height)
• Running headers (content and appearance)
• Spacing (line spacing and gaps)
• In-text and parenthetical citations (content and punctuation)
• Reference or works cited list (layout and organization)
• Reference citations (content, capitalization, punctuation, font,
and indentation)
Sentences
One of the best ways to spot sentence-level issues is to read
each sentence aloud. When we
read our work out loud, we are more likely to notice errors that
our eyes tend to miss. Writ-
ers often discover confused words, run-on sentences, fragments,
and unclear language when
they take the time to read the sentence out loud. Table 2.3
illustrates some common sentence
problems.
If you come across a problematic sentence in your paper that
has issues, but you are unsure
how to fix it, refer to writing center materials or touch base
with a writing center tutor. While
a tutor will not edit your paper for you, they can help you
understand the rules of grammar
that may apply to your situation. In this way, tutors can help
you strengthen your sentence-

writing and self-editing skills.
Table 2.3: Common sentence problems
Sentence-level issue
Solution
strategy
Sentence length If your sentences are very short and feel
choppy, use more com-
plex or compound sentences. If your sentences are too long and
feel tedious for the reader, break them up into separate, simpler
sentences.
Vague pronouns and references If your sentences begin with
“it” or “there,” your reader may be con-
fused. Replace vague pronouns and references with proper
nouns
or descriptive nouns to resolve the problem.
Redundancy If you notice that you have used the same word
over and over again,
make some changes. Combine the ideas into a complex or com-
pound sentence or use accurate synonyms to resolve the

repetition.
Tone If you spot slang, colloquialisms, or casual phrases,
replace them
with more formal language.
Section 2.5Editing
Table 2.3: Common sentence problems (continued)
Sentence-level issue

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