The story explores familial tensions through the metaphor of a glass bottle representing the father's fragile temper. The father's anger builds up until exploding in violent outbursts directed at the mother, during which harsh words are exchanged. This leaves the children feeling afraid and hating the fakeness of the situation. After the outbursts, the father tries to pretend everything is fine through fake smiles and laughter while the cracks in the bottle slowly reform. The story is told from the perspective of one of the children who also directs anger inwardly at their own reflection in the bottle's glass.

1. The Marble Collection
Massachusetts High School Magazine of the Arts
Edited by Michelle Kubilis
Let’s Play Spin the Bottle
My father’s anger is like a smoldering fire of indignation corked in a glass bottle. The
glass is thick, but glass is glass and is as transparent as the smile he gives when he’s
struggling to mask his irritation, accompanied by a friendly rap to my head. But
ultimately, the bottle doesn’t belong to me. It belongs to my mother who shoves it in
her purse, where it tumbles back and forth between coupons and credit cards or
stores it in her drawer between her silver earrings and her tortoiseshell watch. All
the while, the bottle glows brighter, mesmerizing the rest of the family into silent
dread. And when the silence becomes loud enough to vibrate the air, the cork pops
and its vessel shatters in my mother’s hands. It’s curious how much indignation can
be crammed in such a small bottle, although it explains the explosive force of my
father’s anger once it splinters its container into razorsharp fragments and barrels
into my mother, forming the smoking words Why me? The words rage and spew my
father’s unwavering belief that he is a tragic hero for putting up with her, besetting
my unimpressed mother who says I’ve done nothing wrong. Their respective phrases
then begin their endless dance, circling around and around the two figures until
finally my mother’s door slams shut upstairs and cold fury quenches the burning
house. The resulting silence is punctuated by bursts of self-righteous ire downstairs
and the quiet skittering of glass as the pieces slowly pull themselves back together.
Once the bottle has been fragilely reincarnated, my father cheerily talks to me and
my brother, but there is a telltale crease between his eyebrows. I tap the glass,
marveling at its tinny sound. It’s clear that the bottle is not yet fully restored and is
barely holding together, but I listen to my brother reciprocating my father’s loud
laughter that says everything’s fine, everything’s okay because he prefers to ignore
the cracks. But my own hatred simmers in the pit of my stomach because I hate that
everything’s so fake; still I nod with my own fake smiles because I want to believe
that the bottle’s seamless too. I stare at the flickering bottle, turning it over in my
hands until I catch my own face reflected in the glass. I hate this bottle but I hate my
reflection even more, because it forces me to remember my own screaming matches
with my mother. Then perhaps this bottle isn’t the only one my mother has hidden
away. But I spin the bottle, letting its glass display a kaleidoscope of my father’s
bitterness instead. I prefer it this way.
Comment [1]: Great similie! This
highlights the father’s fragile temper and
emotional instability.
Comment [2]: I like the idea of ending
this sentence with the father’s transparent
smile. It’s a powerful image, and the reader
can picture the father reaching his boiling
point while trying to remain composed. The
last portion draws away from that.
Comment [3]: Excellent job at conveying
the backstory!
Comment [4]: There’s a little bit much
occurring in this lengthy sentence, so I
would suggest splitting this up.
Comment [5]: Cliché.
Comment [6]: This seems a little empty.
What does the father talk about? Mentioning
something specific would add depth to this
and make it more relatable/realistic.
Comment [7]: I like the concept of the
glass as a metaphor, but a metaphor is
meant to transcend reality. Adding
physicality to the class makes it too literal.
Also, you started off by describing the
father’s anger “like a smoldering fire of
indignation corked in a glass bottle.” A
similie creates some distance between the
ideas, but a metaphor directly connects
them. Since you seem to be using the bottle
as more of a direct metaphor, you should
omit the “like” in the first sentence.
Comment [8]: The mother seems to be
the underlying cause of everyone’s tension,
so I’m curious about why this piece puts so
much weight on the speaker’s father
instead.
Comment [9]: At first, I was unsure about
the fact that the speaker’s own bouts of
anger are “tacked on” last-minute, but then I
realized how well that fits within the
context of the story. The speaker is
rebuffing their own contribution to family
turmoil, focusing on the father’s more
outward anger instead. The ending is well-
executed!

2. TMC Rubric: Fiction
Title or Submission Number: #4562 – “Spin the Bottle”
Edited By: Michelle Kubilis
4 3 2 0-1 SCORE
Organization The storyline
shows a clear
understanding
of all events
and characters.
Any flashbacks
are executed
skillfully and
clearly.
The overall
sequence of
events is clear
to the reader.
Most events
are clear
and
organized.
Flashbacks
may require
more clarity
or detail.
Most events
are clear,
but there
may need to
be more
organization
throughout
the piece.
The sequence
of events is
not organized
and the
characters
lack
development.
Flashbacks
are not
executed
clearly.
The overall
sequence of
events does
not always
make sense.
The storyline
is
unorganized
and the plot
and the
characters do
not make
sense.
Flashbacks (if
applicable)
are unclear
and confusing.
The overall
sequence of
events does
not make
sense.
4 – The writer’s
method of
organization is very
comprehensible.
They lay out the
backstory for the
reader, build up to
the father’s
outburst, then
explore the
aftermath and its
affect on the family.
Plot The plot is
compelling and
clear.
There is a
definite conflict
and a gripping
climax.
Important
characters are
well developed
through dia-
logue, actions,
and thoughts.
Characters
perform
literary
functions.
The plot is
coherent.
A conflict
may be
established,
developed,
and
resolved
after a cli-
max.
Some
characters
are well
developed
through, but
others
require
additional
attention.
The plot is
slightly
confusing.
A conflict may
be present,
but it lacks de-
velopment.
The charac-
ters are
described
instead of
established
through
dialogue, ac-
tion, and
thoughts.
The plot is
unclear.
No conflict is
present
within the
story.
The char-
acters are
identified, but
not described,
established, or
developed. No
dynamic
characters are
present in the
story.
3 – The plot is
relatively well-
executed, but I feel
like the mother’s
role in familial
tensions is not
emphasized
enough. The
speaker indicates
that the mother is
the central cause of
her husband’s and
children’s anger,
but there is more of
a focus on the
father himself.
Literary Elements Dialogue is
realistic and
present in a
necessary
amount.
Setting is
depicted
through vivid
sensory
Dialogue is
mostly
realistic, but
there may
need to be
more of less
of it.
The setting
is clear but
Dialogue feels
unnatural.
There is either
too much or
too little
dialogue.
The setting is
identified but
Dialogue may
be nonexis-
tent, or it may
be unnatural.
The setting is
vague.
The point of
view is
4 – The writer
utilizes some
excellent literary
techniques:
imagery,
similies/metaphors,
effective diction,
ect. These devices
all work well
together to

3. The Marble Collection: Massachusetts High School Magazine of the Arts
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Sources: MA Curriculum Frameworks
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COMMENTS: This is an incredibly poignant, well-written piece that explores a darker subject matter. The
theme is well executed through the student’s usage of metaphors/similies, imagery, and suitable diction.
There are a few minor concerns regarding the mother’s lack of presence in the story, especially given her
accountability in creating strife within the family, but they can be resolved rather easily.
language and
detail.
Point of view
remains
consistent
throughout the
story.
Literary
devices such as
allegory,
figurative
language,
metaphor,
motif, parable,
persona,
personification,
and theme are
executed
masterfully.
not but may
require
more
sensory
detail.
The point of
view is
clear, but
may be
inconsistent
in certain
places.
Some
literary
devices are
executed
well and
thoughtfully.
not fully
depicted
through
sensory
language.
The point of
view is often
inconsistent.
Literary
devices are
inconsistent
and the
presence of
more would
strengthen the
story.
inconsistent
throughout
the piece.
No literary
devices are
used to
strengthen the
story.
accentuate the
piece’s theme and
bring the reader
into the story.
Spelling/Grammar There are few
or no errors in
mechanics,
usage,
grammar, or
spelling.
Dialogue is
punctuated
and formatted
correctly.
There are
some errors
in
mechanics,
usage,
grammar, or
spelling.
Dialogue
may have
minor
errors in
punctuation
or format.
There are
many errors
in mechanics,
usage,
grammar, or
spelling. The
errors affect
the reader’s
understanding
of the story.
Dialogue is
punctuated
and formatted
inconsistently.
There are a
large number
of
grammatical
errors that
interfere with
the reader’s
understanding
and meaning
of the story.
Dialogue may
be indis-
tinguishable
from the
story, or it
may lack es-
sential
punctuation
or formatting.
3 – Some minor
mechanical errors,
but nothing major
in terms of usage,
grammar, or
spelling.