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5招聊天術,句點王變業績王
成功得來不易,除了天分加努力,「聊天」也是極重要的一環。
如果你每次寒暄都辭窮,請看看他們怎麼「開口成金」。
一句「你好」或「吃飯了沒?」雖然客氣有禮,但很殘酷,
商業場合上,實質效益恐怕不大。問的人無心,答的人也不見得認真回應,
雙方達成的溝通幾乎是零,更難以啟動後續對話。
Huang, K., M. Yeomans, A.W. Brooks, J. Minson, and F. Gino. "It Doesn't Hurt to Ask: Question-asking Increases Liking." Journal of Personality and
Social Psychology 113, no. 3 (September 2017): 430–452.
發表於2017年9月《性格與社會心理學期刊》的一篇論文,
哈佛大學的研究者對問題的數量、怎樣問問題如何影響他人對你的印象,
展開了探究。
哈佛商學院(Harvard Business School)分析300多則網路對話,
認為能提出一連串問題的人,
遠比只問聲「你好嗎?」更討人喜歡。
單純的你好、或只聚焦工作的話題,難以加深別人對你的印象,
要聊天聊出效益甚至訂單或業績,不妨參考以下5種方法:
1. A.C.T.開場白,別再瞎聊「天氣真好」
A.C.T.開場白
A指真誠
(Authenticity)
C指連結
(Connection)
T指滋味或評斷
(Taste)
“ACT”—that is, being authentic, making a connection,
and giving people a taste of who you are.
A指真誠(Authenticity)
真實展現自己,你的經歷和背景。
人們需要能夠信任你所說的話,尤其是關於你自己的事情。
C指連結(Connection)
與他人建立積極的情感聯繫。
對其他人,他們的意見和觀點要真正感興趣。
T指滋味或評斷(Taste)
讓人們“了解”你是誰,你做什麼以及可以做出的貢獻。
A.C.T.開場白
一個好的對話開場白,最好結合以上3個元素,只說「你好嗎」、
「請多指教」不僅生硬,也將對話堵進死角、無以為繼。
不妨在打招呼之後,接著問問「平常休閒都做什麼」、
或「你最近看電影了嗎,有沒有推薦的呢」,順勢打開對話空間。
很多人會拿天氣、塞車等瑣事來破冰,很可惜這些都是陳腔濫調,
找個雙方都感興趣的主題,肯定比雞毛蒜皮的事更有意義。
2. 問「故事」,而不是問「答案」
單純的是非題、簡答題,只會讓對方的答案過於侷限而無法啟動對話,
例如「週末過得怎樣」,答案可能只有「還不錯」、「還OK」。
但是如果你改問「週末哪一件事最有趣」或「下週末有什麼計劃」,
對方可能滔滔不絕,他答得開心,你或許也能從中獲得靈感或啟發。
3. 觀察環境,找出對方的「驚喜點」
開場白之後,接下來該怎麼找話題?
其實最快、最簡單的方式是從四周找靈感、
可能是牆上的一幅畫、或桌上的一張照片。
像是拜訪別人家或辦公室,擺設與收藏都是能投其所好的好話題,
直接切入對方最有興趣的主題,接下來的對話就能順利進展。
過程中,你很可能會發現對方出人意料的嗜好,可做為後續談話的素材,
例如平常一板一眼的律師,假日竟然是搖滾樂團成員。
知名獵頭公司Korn Ferry 執行長
伯爾尼松(Gary Burnison)有句名言:
開口之前,先睜開你的眼。
4. 分享自己的近況,語調、表情、眼神助攻
對話要一來一往,當然不能只丟出問題,
真誠地說說自己的近況,能迅速拉近彼此距離。
例如最近新收養了小狗、剛開始上瑜伽課、小孩剛換牙、
買了毛線想打毛衣等等。
要注意對話的重點不只在於說了什麼,包括談話的語調、臉部表情,
以及眼神都會傳達出你是否真誠。
說話一定要直視對方眼睛,即使經由電話溝通,
帶著笑說話也能讓對方透過聲音感受溫暖。
5. 勿強加個人觀點,同時隨機應變
聊天最忌諱演變成企圖說服對方,尤其是剛見面的新朋友。
避免走入這樣的死胡同,最好閃開過於敏感的話題,例如政治和宗教。
曾任美國國家廣播電台特派員的赫莉(Celeste Headlee),
在TED發表過十分受歡迎的演說,大談「超成功對話術」。
https://www.ted.com/talks/celeste_headlee_10_ways_to_have_a_better_conversation
她總結過去採訪心得
強調有時候準備了滿滿的問題,
受訪者卻完全不按預期方向走,
這時候最好「順其自然、隨機應變」,
直接捨棄擬好的問題也無妨,
畢竟用心聆聽對方,才是對話重點。
不論是強加觀點、或堅持只說自己想說的,
都恐怕淪於自說自話甚至掉書袋,
成功的對話應該讓彼此都輕鬆自在,也為後續聯繫創造空間。
5招聊天術,句點王變業績王

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5 ways to get better at small talk

Editor's Notes

  1. 5 ways to get better at small talk 5招聊天術,句點王變業績王
  2. A指真誠(Authenticity)、C指連結(Connection)、T指滋味或評斷(Taste), 也就是讓人知道你是什麼樣的人。一個好的對話開場白,最好結合以上3個元素,只說「你好嗎」、「請多指教」不僅生硬,也將對話堵進死角、無以為繼。
  3. Authentic: Truthfully presenting yourself, your experiences, and your background. People need to be able to trust what you say, particularly about yourself.
  4. Connection: Forging a positive, emotional connection with others. Be genuinely interested in other people, their opinions and perspectives.
  5. Taste: Giving people a “taste” of who you are, what you do, and the contribution you can make. When hiring managers interview you, for example, they’re asking themselves: “Can I work with this person? How will this person contribute to and interact with my team?” 品味:讓人們“了解”你是誰,你做什麼以及可以做出的貢獻。 例如,當招聘經理面試您時,他們在問自己:“我可以和這個人一起工作嗎? 這個人將如何促進我的團隊並與之互動?”
  6. A指真誠(Authenticity)、C指連結(Connection)、T指滋味或評斷(Taste), 也就是讓人知道你是什麼樣的人。一個好的對話開場白,最好結合以上3個元素,只說「你好嗎」、「請多指教」不僅生硬,也將對話堵進死角、無以為繼。
  7. 知名獵頭公司Korn Ferry 執行長伯爾尼松(Gary Burnison)有句名言:開口之前,先睜開你的眼。 Gary Burnison is the CEO of Korn Ferry. Under his leadership, Korn Ferry has been transformed to a global organizational consulting firm with more than 7,500 colleagues.  Gary Burnison is the CEO of Korn Ferry, a global organizational consultancy and the world's largest hiring and recruiting firm.