This document contains 100 pieces of advice or "rules" passed down from the author's teacher. Some of the advice includes: don't cancel plans by text, always use "we" when referring to your home team, assume all guns are loaded, save 10% of what you earn, stand up to bullies, and be kind as everyone has a hard road ahead of them. The document ends by thanking the reader.

1. 100 Wise
Words To
Live By
or, the Rules Of Earth passed from
my teacher, to me, to you.

2. 1. There are plenty of ways to enter
a pool. The stairs is not one of
them.

3. 2. Never cancel plans by text
message.

4. 3.Don’t knock it ‘til you try it.

5. 4. If a street performer makes
you stop walking, you owe him
a dollar.

6. 5. Always use “we” when
referring to your home team or
your government.

7. 6. When entrusted with a
secret, keep it.

8. 7. When you go to a restaurant, look
at the people around you. The health
of the customers tells you about the
health of the food.

9. 8. Just because you can doesn’t
mean you should.

10. 9. Pick your fights. Losing the
battle may win you the war.

11. 10. You only get one chance to
notice a new haircut.

12. 11. You can’t stop the waves but
you can learn to surf.

13. 12. Trying to become
well-rounded invites
mediocrity. Find what
you’re good and become
great at it.

14. 13. Expect the seat in front of
you to recline. Prepare
accordingly.

15. 14. Keep a picture of your first
pet, first car, and first
girl/boyfriend.

16. 15. Hold your heroes to a high
standard. Don’t let them get
away with anything.

17. 16. A sun tan is earned, not
bought.

18. 17. ..and don’t mention sunburns.
Believe me, they know.

19. 18. Never lie to your doctor.

20. 19. Assume all guns are loaded.

21. 20. The best way to show
thanks for a gift is to use it.
Even if it’s only once.

22. 21. Take at least a one day
vacation from your cell phone,
internet, and TV once a month.

23. 22. Don’t fill up on bread, no
matter how good it is.

24. 23. A handshake beats a signature.
Eye contact, double.

25. 24. Don’t linger in the doorway.
In or out.

26. 25. Save 10¢ for every $1 you
earn. It adds up and it’ll save
your life one day.

27. 26. If you want to know what
makes you unique, sit for a
caricature.

28. 27. Never get your haircut on
the day of a special event.

29. 28. Be mindful of what comes
between you and the Earth.
Always buy good shoes, tires,
and sheets.

30. 29. Never eat lunch at your desk.

31. 30. When you’re with new
friends, don’t talk about old
friends.

32. 31. Eat lunch with the new kids.
You were new once, too.

33. 32. When traveling, keep your
wits about you. Expect the
unexpected.

34. 33. It’s never too late for an
apology.

35. 34. Be unreasonable. Progress
depends on it.

36. 35. Keep an open mind, but not so
open that your brains fall out.

37. 36. You don’t get to choose
your own nickname.

38. 37. When you marry someone,
remember that you marry their
entire family.

39. 38. Never push someone off a
dock.

40. 39. Under no circumstances
should you ask a woman if she
is pregnant.

41. 40. It’s not enough to be proud
of your ancestry or your
heritage… live up to it.

42. 41. Don’t make a scene.

43. 42. When giving a thank you
speech, keep it short and
sweet.

44. 43. Know when to ignore the
camera.

45. 44. Never gloat or brag.

46. 45. Invest in great luggage.

47. 46. The greatest killer of Americans
is heart disease. Plan accordingly,
monitor regularly, defend at all
costs.

48. 47. When opening presents, no
one likes a good guesser.

49. 48. Sympathy is a crutch; never
fake a limp.

50. 49. Give credit. Take blame.

51. 50. Suck it up every now an
again. Deal with it.

52. 51. Never be the last one in the
pool.

53. 52. Don’t. Stare.

54. 53. Address everyone that carries
a firearm professionally. “Yes, sir.”
or “Yes, ma’am.”

55. 54. Stand up to bullies, no
matter what.

56. 55. If you’ve made your point,
stop talking.

57. 56. Being wrong is only bad if
you don’t learn from it.

58. 57. If you offer to help, don’t
quit until the job is done.

59. 58. Look people in the eye
when you thank them.

60. 59. Thank the bus driver.

61. 60. Never take the phone out
at the dinner table.

62. 61. Forgive yourself for your
mistakes. You’re learning.

63. 62. Know at least one really
good joke.

64. 63. Don’t boo. It’s much harder
than it looks.

65. 64. Know how to cook one
really good meal that doesn’t
come out of a box.

66. 65. Learn to drive a stick shift.

67. 66. Be cool to younger kids.
Reputations are built over a
lifetime.

68. 67. It’s ok to go to the movies
by yourself.

69. 68. Going to therapy doesn’t mean
something is wrong with you. It never
hurts to get things checked out once
in a while.

70. 69. Don’t lose your temper.
Especially at work or school.

71. 70. Always thank the host.

72. 71. If you don’t understand, ask
before it’s too late.

73. 72. Know the size of your
boyfriend/girlfriend’s clothes.

74. 73. There is nothing wrong with
a plain t-shirt as long as its
clean.

75. 74. Be a good listener. Learn
when to stop talking.

76. 75. Keep your word.

77. 76. In school, always sit in the
front. You’ll stand out
immediately. Come final grade
time, it will come in handy.

78. 77. Every choice has a consequence.
Everything is connected. Nothing exists in a
bubble. Ask questions.

79. 78. Be patient with security,
especially at the airport. They’re
just doing their job.

80. 79. Don’t be the talker in a
movie.

81. 80. The opposite sex likes people
who shower. Drowning your body
in perfume/cologne does not hide
this.

82. 81. You are what you do. Not
what you say.

83. 82. Learn to change a tire.

84. 83. Be kind. Everyone has a
hard road ahead of them.

85. 84. An hour with your
grandparents is time well
spent. Learn from their
experiences.

86. 85. You only get one planet.

87. 86. Read the label

88. 87. You won’t always be the
strongest or fastest. But you
can be the toughest.

89. 88. Never call someone before
9AM or after 9PM

90. 89. Buy the orange properties
in Monopoly.

91. 90. Make the little things count.

92. 91. Always wear clean
underwear.

93. 92. There is a fine line between
being funny and annoying; find
it.

94. 93. The truth of food is not on
the front, it’s on the back.

95. 94. You’re not buying a bottle of
water, you’re buying a bottle of
plastic.

96. 95. Know the words to your
national anthem.

97. 96. Your dance moves might
not be the best, but making a
fool of yourself is way more fun
than sitting on the bench
alone.

98. 97. Smile at strangers.

99. 98. Make goals.

100. 99. As you get older, keep a
reasonable bedtime.

101. 100. If you want to make
something amazing: take two
already popular things and
combine them.

102. Final words:
Thank you.