Keith Andrew Schemel, a 73-year-old billionaire from Miami, Florida, passed away after being injured in a gladiator accident with a rhinoceros. He had an adventurous life, accomplishing feats like biking across continents, climbing Kilimanjaro, kayaking the Pacific, and wrestling polar bears. In addition to his business success constructing a floating island, he is remembered for discovering lost Malaysian Airlines flight 370 and Atlantis while scuba diving off Antarctica. He is survived by his six wives, twenty-four children, and eighty-one grandchildren.

1. Keith Schemel
Obituary
Keith Andrew Schemel, 73, of Miami, Florida passed away yesterday, Wednesday, 25
April 2068, after a tragic gladiator accident with a rhinoceros. He was born in Lacey Township,
New Jersey to Bill and Marianne Schemel. He received a college education from Marshall
University in West Virginia before settling in Miami, Florida. Keith lived a very adventurous
life, as some of his accomplishments included biking across the European and Asian continent,
climbing Mt. Kilimanjaro, kayaking across the Pacific Ocean, and wrestled polar bears naked in
the arctic. Furthermore, Keith was responsible for finding Malaysian Airline 370 as well as the
lost city of Atlantis at the same time while scuba diving off the coast of Antarctica. Other than
his adventurous endeavors, Keith became an extremely successful businessman, and became a
multi-billionaire by the time he was thirty years old, and constructed a 5,000 acre floating island
off the coast of Miami, where his funeral procession will take place on Saturday at noon. He is
survived by his six wives, twenty-four children, and eighty-one grandchildren.