ur Name is U!

1. The Men's Names – (scroll downforthe women’snames)
Aaron- uglybut hunglike a horse,prone tobellybuttonfluff.
Able - totallyuseless.
Adam- not verybrightand notverypretty,has almostmasteredhygiene.
Adrian- usuallyshortandveryhorny, watchescartoons.
Alan- shybut sensitive,getsscrewedoverbywomen.
Alex - cute and tall but a liarand a cheat.
Alistair- likesbeingtiedup,andreallyenjoysplayingwithtrainsets
Amir- dirty,smelly,peckerisminuscule.Baddiet.
Andrew - Highlyintelligentandwearsakilt.Poorstandardsof hygiene.Homicidaltendencies.
Antonio- has a great bodyandbeautiful skin,andchickenbrain.Looksinthe mirrortoomuch.
Anthony - great guyand kindto all girls,smellsof wee.
Arnold- loser.
Arthur- hung like aslave andcelibate.
Avenir- readstoo manyfantasybooks,wearsarmourto bed.
Baron - ReadsSASbooks,wantsto go outand shootsomethingorsomebody.
Barry - lightsfires,pinchesgirlsbottomsandiswell hung.
Barnaby - verybig,verystrong and verygentle,criesalot.
Ben- funnyandcan be real difficulttobeatat games.
Bill - thinkshe'sreallypopular,thinksall the girlswanthim...he'swrong.
Bob - quietandunpopular,eatswithhishands.
Brad - shortand squat,has bad breath.
Braden- Drop out anddoesn'tcare, will setrecordforlongestemployeeatMcDonalds.
Brandon - good lookingbutusesgirls.Notveryacademic.
Brendan - quietandsweet,getsbeatenupall the time.
Brett - worldwide slutandreallyinsensitive,womenlove him.
Brian - meanand onlythinksof himself,he'sjustaverynaughtyboy.
Bryan - sexy,butstupid - can't spell.
Bronsen- annoyingandnevergrowsup - hasa stupidname.
Bruce - stinksbad andthinkseveryone else'sname isalsoBruce.
Bryce - fun to be withandwill make youlaugh,you'll kill himwithinaweek.
Callum- tall and geeky,verydefensive.
Calvin- immature ina naive way,drivesaGemini.
Cameron- Australian.Bigmuscles.
Carl - horny.bastard, whocan't sing.
Carlo- dark and brooding,forsome unknownreasongirlsseemtolike him!
Carson- funto be aroundand reallysensitive.
Chad - cute, sensitive andverystudly - onlyfoundinAmericanmovies,noreal personhasthat name.
Charles- can't trusthim,eyestooclose together.
Chris- can't pull,will payforwomen,buthasa huge peckerand can use it too.
Christian- Gay but verysexyandseductive.

2. Clark- hilariousandalwaysintrouble,problemwith'jailbait'.
Cliff - verysweetandadoresgirls,butverysuperficial.
Clive - trainspotter...dull asditchwater.
Cole - nice,funny,andverystupid.
Colin- liestowomenandblowsuppublicbuildings.
Cory - funnybut ugly,endsuprunningfashionmagazines.
Craig - triesto fitin - he neverdoes.
Crispin- Ugly homosexual.Fancieshimself.Successful
Curtis- needsconstantmotheringandreassurance.
Damien- spawnof the devil,butina goodway.
Damon - total loserina sweatysortof way.
Dale - well endowedlikesblondes.Looksinthe mirrortoomuch
Dan - quietbutfunny,butbecomeseasilyaddictedtonarcotics.
Danny - Wears stylishclothesandhassilkywomensunderwearbeneaththem.
Dane - weirdbutcan holdtogethera conversationwithamermaid.
Daniel - enjoysrootvegetablesineveryorifice.
Darren - charming ,but sleepswithmen.
Darwyn- exercisestoomuch,favourite wordUgDaryl - pompousand
overbearing,likesusingbigwordsthatonlyhe understands.
David- Sensibleandworksouta lot,lovesgirlsnamedFlorence.
Dave - extremelysexy,alwaysfunny,intelligent,stylish,trendsetteri.e.awanker.
Dean- full of himself andthinkswithhisdick.
Dennis- eitherverynice togirlsor a faggot.
Derek- hasa greatsense of humour,anda blow-updoll collection.
Dillon- Stupidbutwell-built,womenjustuse himforsex.
Dominic- hilariousandwill doanythingtoplease anybody.
Don - dickhead,nobodylikeshim.
Doug - hasa greasyface,drinkingproblemandfarts.
Drew - bad-arse loserwhonevershutsup.
Duncan - hopelessski bum,brainsshotawaylongago.
Dylan- thinkshe'sfunny,fallsasleepduringsex.
Dwayne - cool guyto be aroundif youcan handle hisname.
Eddie - wants toomany chickshe'll nevergetcoshe'san arsehole.
Elis- wouldrathermake model airoplanesthanhave sex.
Elliott- full of himself.
Eric - shyand timidlike alittle mouse.
Evan - a little slowbutsweet,sexy,andamodel mental patient.
Finn- Completelyindecisive,suffersterriblywithCatholicguilt.
Frank - single helix DNA anditshows.
Fraser- sucks pigsdicks& swallowsthe lot.
Frederick/Fred/Freddie- wantstorule the world.Loveswomen
Fritz- Lovesplayinggames.Neverwins.

3. Gareth - sweetbutdressestoogoodto be straight.Can'tplayrugby.
Gary - drug addictbut willingtoshare.
Garry - foreverfiddlingwithhimself andwonderswhyno-one will shake hands.
Gavin- likesbondage,S&Mwithothermen.
Geoff - prefersgolf tosex and war to peace.
George - barmanwho drinksmore thanhe serves.
Gerry - quietandinsecure,adoormat.
Gilbert- Morris dancer,collectsantique sweetwrappers.
Glen- the sweetestguy - reallydowntoearth.goodteacher.crap inbed.
Gordon - big bloke ina dirtyraincoat,kindaflashy.
Greame - veryhard to understand,likesgroupsex.
Graham - will screwanything.
Grahame - thinkshe'sbetterthanotherGrahams because he has an extra'e'.
Grant - Short andugly!but so sweetandyoucan talkto him aboutanything.
Greg - reallysweetandfeelssuicidallysorryforhimself.
Harry - Good at sport.Womenlove him.Blokeshate him.
Harvey - cute,but addictedtosex and/ordrugs.
Haydn - trieshard, succedsrarely.
Heinz- Likesvarietyinhislife.inhisfifties.Overweight.
Henry - dull,dull,dull,dull ...likestrainsandtweedjackets,probablyascience teacher.
Herbert- likesplayingwithrubber,andfeelinguplarge roundobjects
Howard - likessmall-breastedwomenandpornography.
Howell - singstoomuch.
Ian - likestostuff animalsanddressupinwomen'sclothing.
Ivor- militantpsychopathwithhomosexual tendencies.
Izzy- circumsized,buttheythrewawaythe wrongbit.
Jake - shyand sweetbuta slutwhendrunk.
Jamie - Deviousscumof the earth.
James- can't handle hisbeer,smellsof mayonaiseanddoeswetfarts.
Jarrod - Arrogant,stuck-up,pompousandannoying.Loveshimself totally
and has lotsof mirrors.
Jason- Gayer thana pinkfairywinningatrophyat the gayestpinkfairycompetition.
Jay - verysweetwhenyougetto knowhimwell.whichisaproblembecause
he has bad breath.
Jeff - reallyugly.
Jerome - gay, butveryunhappy.
Jeremy - loudandthinksthat he'sall that he says he is.
Jesse - unpopularandneedstomove on.
Jack - stupidbuthot,alwaysalright.
Jim- sweet,hasfantasiesof love andaffectionbutwankstoomuch.
Jimmy - Goes to the toilettwice anight,doesn'talwaysgetupforit.
Joe - builtlike abear,sexybuttendstolose hishead.Bisexual

4. Joel - arse.
John- has fewfriendsandnolife - tendstokill small animals.
Jon- Not toobrightwill endupmarriedto a cousin.
Jolyon- absolute ravinghomosexual.
Jonathon - thinkhe'sgood - he'sshit.Looksinthe mirrrortoo much.
Jordan- sexybutweirdinbed.Hunglike a wildebeest.
Jose - hotboy witha love of hermaphrodites.
Josh- full of himself,fun.
Julian- usedto be a woodenboy,butis now almostreal witha bignose.
Junior- Not veryclever,butgoodat football.
Justin- aggravatingbut lovable,insecure butsuccessful andoverweight.
Kain- one of the sexiestguysalive butverystuckup.
Keegan- alwayshasa bitof hislastmeal displayedonhisclothes.
Kev - lagerlout,wearscheapandloudclothes.
Kevin- alwaysattracts reallyfitgirlfriendsandthenlosesthemwhentheyseehisdick!
Keith- goodpersonto talkto whenyouhave a problem - hisisworse.
Kenneth - very,very...anythingyouwanthimtobe.
Kerry - wantsto be in a boy bandbut he'snot prettyenough.
Kirk- goodlooking,worriesthathe mightbe gay.
Kurt - can kickanyone'sarse.
Kyle - hornball whoeatstoomany cornchips.
Larry - cute butwannabe playerwithbigarse.
Laurey - short andfunnylooking.
Lee - girl dressedupas a boy,total arse bandit.
Leon- same as Lee onlynot so pretty.
Lewis- lonely,sadgit,bitof a tosser.Welsh
Liam - loudmouthedarsehole.
Lorenzo- fine anddressesinstolengold.
Lucas - fat loserthatdatesothermen.
Luke - seemstobe sweet.
Madison - so far uphis ownarse there'sno roomfor hisboyfriend.
Malcolm- tall man whotendsto lose histrousers.Andisgay!!!
Mark - Good lookingandveryclever.Everywomanwouldif she could.
Marshall - Neverseemstoage,thisisbecause he isinfact an anderoid!
Martin - Stud.Loveshimself.wouldmake agoodlawyer.
Matthew - the fat boyof the class,likessweetsandisfull of shit.
Matty - Life and soul of the party, couldgeta corpse dancing.
Menno- builtlike ahorse.Onlydoesitdoggy.
Michael - verygoodlookingbuthe'll doanythingfora girl.Doesn'tlike
to worktoo hard. Sexual deviant
Mick - alwaysdrunk,tendencyfordrugabuse.
Mintesh- boy racer, the arsehole whodriveswiththe stereotooloudand

5. the windowsdowneventhoughit'scold!
Mitchell - bigbloke,sweatsalot,usuallypure alcohol.
Mohammed- small penis,butstill reallyenjoysplayingwithit.
Nathan- stupidas hell,and tendstomake othersfeel dumb.
Nick- inbred- can't get pastthe missionarypositionthough.
Neil - sweetandwill doanythinginthisworldforyou,greatinbedbut
onlyon hisown.
Noel - onlygoesoutwithgirlsso that he can steal theirclothes.
Oliver- likesmenbutisindenial.
Oscar - complete loser,hatedbyhisparents.
Owen- cute gay guywho isimmature,andsingsWelshsongs.
Patrick- drunk,drunk,drunk.
Paul - cool,calmand handsome,aqualityonlyfoundingays.
Peter- Likessheep more thangirls,will probablyendupmarriedtoarelative.
Phillip- homophobic,image conscioustwat,likestofuckpoodles.
Ramsey - thinkshe'sposhbutis actuallyaknob.
Raymond- doesn'tlike tobe calledRaybecause itsoundstoo'straight'.
Richard- can't see hisfeetasballsare too big
Ricky - uglyshitheadwhoeverybodyhates.
Rikki - see above,butcan't evenspell.
Rob - constantlywatchesporn.
Robin- Uglyand not verybright,probablyateacher.
Roger- acts like a wankerwhendrunk... Permanentlydrunk!
Rory - menare onlynice to himso theycan talkto his sister.
Roy - total loserandcomputergenius.
Rupert- arrogant twatwho iscrap in bedbut thinkshe isa stud.
Russell - likestoplayinthe leaveswhichmakeshimanarsehole. Pantomime dame
Ryan - short and stout,butpopular.
Sam - wannabe sex machine.
Sandeep - complete anorak,ownsametal detector.
Sean- thinkshe'sJamesBond,inrealityadipstick.
Scott - hasseriousdisabilities.likeswintersports
Sean- has small deformedtesticlesandnofriends.
Seth- so sweettootherpeople butisa traitor.
Shane - cute gay guy whoisimmature,andsingsWelshsongs.
Shannon - like the,riverwetandfull of shit.
Shaun- bitof a hard bastard,thinkswomenlove him.
Simon- likesa nightoutwiththe ladsand curries.Talksbollocks.
Sonny - thinkshe'stoughandprovesit withyounggirlsandboys.
Spencer- thinkseverybodywantstoshaghim - he'sa virgin
Steve - popularandfunnywhenlookedatside-on.
Stuart - lovesitrightupthere,normallywithatoiletroll anda hamster

6. Taylor- Gay, gay, gay,gay ....
Terry - small and wireywithanastytemper.
Tim - hot but a bitstrange,can nevertell where he is.
Toby - bestblowever.
Tom - cool but can be veryarrogant.
Tomas - part-druid,likestodance roundthingsnaked.
Tony - hot, sweet,andtotallyfuntobe around.tendencytomegalomania
Travis- fat and hornywiththe bestXXXcollectiontobe found.
Trevor- sweetandfunnybutsometimesuntrustworthy.
Troy - cute and popular.
Tyrone - Bigbloke witha gay moustache,butnobodydarestell him.
Ty - small andkindof shrivelled.
Var - adventuroustype,can'tsitquietlyandsoisveryannoying.
Wade - huge bloke,peoplejogroundhimandhave to stophalfwayfora rest.
Walter- Rich,but withnotaste inanything,sothe moneyisa bitof a waste.
Wasim- Good at sport.Likesbondage.Intelligent.
Warren - cool,homosexual guy.Pickshisnose alot.
Wesley - greatguy andeasyto not notice.
Will - wisheshe were popular.
William- notverytall,butultra-cool.
Zach - sweetandpolite andtwisted.
Zahid- deviousandsly.Nottobe trusted.*
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The Women'sNames
Abby - agonyaunt,alwayswillingtoexplainaboutyourconfusedsexuallity.
Ada - blue haired,smellsof wee.
Adie - quietandshy,but whenyougetto know her ..quietandshy.
Aileen- laughslikeadementeddog.likestictacs.
Alana- prettyandpopular,butwithverydark secrets.
Alexandra- popularbutveryloud,sometimesforgetstobathe.
Alice - likeshorsesbutlookslike Kermit'sgirlfriend.
Alicia- prettyand knowsit,watchesherslf gobyinshop windows.
Alison- bra andpants are the same garment,looksbetterwiththe lightoff.
Alyssa- wantsto be 'exotic',butonlymanagestobe 'strange'.
Amanda- I.Q.smallerthanherbra size,a goodshag, butshe doespractice a lot.
Amber- stereotypical exoticdancer,nottoobrightbutveryflexible.
Amy - Devious,Likesbeingontop,neverstaysthe night - Not to be trusted.Likesanymannot wearing
trousers
Anastasia- overly-loud,wearsclothes2sizestoosmall.

7. Andrea- Small breasts,small arse,drinkspintsandplaysa meangame of pool.
Andrina- dark and sultry,pretendsshe'saRussianspy.
Angela- Vain,Hairstyle more importantthanoxygen.Usuallyfoundhangingaroundtoilets.
Anita- Beautiful girl withperfecthairanda bodyto die for.
Annabelle- Doesn'twearknickers.
Annette - She'sBIG,like reallyBIG!!.
Anne - Looks like ahorse,can't drive.
Anne-Marie - Gorgeousandwitha great taste inblokes,hasperfectly
formedbreastsAnnie - Drinkstoomuch,alwayswakesupnexttouglyguys.
Ashlee - Dyslexicandspendsall daythinkingaboutsecs.
Aurora - Beautiful andsexy,everymansdream,butsadlyswingsthe otherway.
Azaria- Beautiful andexoticwiththe brainpowerof anorchid.
Barbara - Shags like arabbit,notfussyaboutappearance.Wearsalot of make up
Bea - Beautiful,sexy,original,butnearlyimpossible tosatisfyinbed.
Becky - one of the boys,knowsaboutfootball andcars,unusuallytall.
Belinda- Pleasingonthe eye,usuallyhasacouple of goodpoints.
Beryl - Repressedalcoholic.
Beth- Empty headed,bigbreasted,andeasy.
Bettina- Dominatrix.
Beverley - Trappedinaneightiestimewarp.
Bianca - Ginger.bigmouth.
Birgit- bigscareywoman,likessmall blokesshe canintimidate.
Bridgette - Eats pizzasall day,smokescigars.
Britney - Falselyimproved,nouse tosociety.
Cait- Bow-leggedcountrygirl,reallylovesherhorses.
Camilla- replacesthe word'yes'with'ya'.
Cara - lazygirl,eatstoo much junk-foodandyetdoesn'tgetfat - annoying.
Carie - justlike the movie,ascaryfreak.
Carina- Looks like the backof a bus,doesn'tswallow.
Carla - Down to earthwithgoodchild-bearinghips.
Carly - Party animal until she getstoodrunkto standup.
Carol - Bubbly,life andsoul of the partyand the bedroom.
Caroline - Lard arse,shavesherears,picksher nose andshopsat oxfam.
Catherine - Attractedtothe olderman,needsironing.
Celine - Emitshideousnoises,waste of DNA.
Charlotte - Enjoysteaand cake,farts the national anthem.
Chaz - life andsoul of the party,playsthe pianoand thenstripsto herownmusic.
Cheryl - Can fithand inmouth,eatsglass.
Chloe - Usuallya weather-girlora failedwannabe weather-girl.
Christine - Likesmeninuniform,neverwarm.
Christina- Drop deadgorgeousandwitha differentbloke eachnight,well practiced.
Ciji - strange girl,sleepswithavibratingteddy-bear.

8. Claire/Clare/Clair- Usuallyneurotic,givesgoodheadbutcanhave lesbiantendencies.
Courtney - Bit of a 'tomboy',rollsherowntampons.
Daisy - Virgin,worksona farm because she likesthe waythe tractorvibrates.
Danni - Shouldmake nice threesomewithsibling.
Davina- drug inducedmental damage,shouldshave herneck.
Dawn - Gets up early,smellsof chips.
Debra/Debby - Pornstar.
Deborah - Bitesthe pillow,usesbothhands.
Dee - Enormousmouth,getsa lotof workin pornmovies.
DeeDee - cannotunderstandwhyno-one elsemasturbatesinIkea.
Denise - Sitsoncats eyes,wearstoomuchmake up.
Di - Enjoysreceivingoral sex,butdoesn'tlike givingit.
Diana- Cuddly,whichisa shame because she smellslike cheese.
Diane - Enjoyscompanyof animals.Deepasa puddle.
Donna - 70's throwback,likescabbage.
Dorthe - smellsof herrings,obsessedwithover-sizedsextoys.
Elaine - Ridesside saddle,drinksmeths.averagebreasts..likessharpedges.
Eleanor- Veryposh,alwayswashingherhands,butlikeshersex dirty.
Elizabeth- Bornto perform,hateschickens.
Ella- Fierytemper,butwhenshe'snotshoutingshe'sascute as a kitten.
Ellie - Far too attractive forthe swearwordsthat come outof hermouth.
Ellen- Couldwell have eatenall the pies.
Elma - Shy,easilydominatedbymen.
Elsa - Kindof oldfashioned,butwithbeautiful bighair.
Emily - Wears oddsocks,can have lesbiantendencies.
Emma - Gullible andeasilyswayedbyagood looker!
Erminia- Small andgraceful,slightlypsychotic.
Estelle - Likeswombles,eatsgrass.
Esther- Plumpwithsaggingbreasts,normallyheavilytattooed.
Eve - Shy timidcreature until she hasa drink,thenshe becomesveryloud.
Evonne - Much happiernowthatthe sex change operationwasasuccess.
Faith- Legsmeetat knees,can'tshag standingup.
Faye - Wearswellies,can'tswim.
Felicity - One of the boys.. exceptthatshe has the mostenormousnipples.
Fern- Poshwitha large mouth,can holda conversationwhilstgivinghead.
Fiona- Female mudwrestler,badlyneedsashave.
Fiyza- Verysexy,she knowsitandshe flauntsit
Francess - A lovelyladyevenif she isascommonas muck!
Frankie - Wears leatherunderwear,if it'squietyoucanhearher buzzing.
Gabriel - An arse to die for butpads herbra withtissues.
Gail - Farts a lot,drinksGuinness.
Gayleen- Bigtall womanwho talksshite all day.

9. Gaynor - Wanna-be Lesbianwhocan'tpull the girls.
Gemma- Talkstoo much,evenduringsex,evenduringoral sex (when Ibloodygetitxx)!
Geraldine - Tooposhfor her owngood,likesflying.
Gillian- Dyesherhair green,likesclubbing.
Gina - Eternal mother,eatsnappies.
Glenda- Eats children,hatessmoking.
Georgia- Loveshercakes,wouldratherhave gateauthan sex.
Georgina- Wantsto be a man.
Grace - petite andpretty,fuckslike arabbit.
Grainne - Gigglesexcessively,sometimeswetsherself.
Gwyneth- Blubsa lot,weesinthe bath.
Hannah - Needstobe nakedat all times,eatskebabs.
Harriet- Wears tweedandgreenwelliestothe pub.
Hayley - Pretty,likesfastcarsand slowmen.
Heather- Shagslike afreighttrain,bitof a screamer.
Helen- Hangs aroundwiththe wrongcrowd, Kinkyinbed,lovespornandistotallyneurotic.
Helena- Likesto be incharge, wearsa lotof blackrubber.
Heidi - The hillsare alive withthe soundof music,likesgherkins,hatesNazis.
Hilary - Frigid.
Holly - Pricklyto the touch,seasonal shagmeister.
Imogen- Drinkstequilafromthe bottle,wetsthe bed.
Ingrid- RightwingNazi tendencies,neversmiles.
Isobel - Motorbike gangleader,sellsgunsforpocketmoney.
Jackie - Heroinaddict,soldherchild.
Jade - I once had a Jade,but hasn'teverybody??
Jalaine - Strange,introvertedgirl,secretlyintoplasticmodel aeroplanes.
Janet- Massive overbite,noneck.
Jane - She'shot andshe knowsit,a prick-teaser.
Janice - Loud and over-the-top,tendstotalkwithherhands.
Jarla - Kindalike afemale Ali-Gonlynotasfunny.
Jasmin- Smellsof sewers,eatsthe headsoff rats.
Jean- hangsaround witholdblokesandlet'sthembuyherstuff.
Jemma- Doesanal,wearstoo mucheye make-up.
Jenni - bone idle hence the tendencytoshortenlongwords.
Jennifer- Huge breasts,shouldshave herlegsmore often.
Jessica- Alwaysshagsonthe firstdate and sometimesevenbefore it.
Joanna- Moans inher sleep,moanswhenshe wakesup,can'tcook.
Jo - Bisexual andproudof it.
Joelle - Lively,exciting,jollyandfun...sometimestoomuchso!
Josephine - Likestobe tiedupandteased.
Jody - Dresseslike aboyand eatslive frogsforbreakfast.
Joyce - Neverstopstalking...forGod'ssake shut up woman!

10. Judith- Big eyes,bigtits,bigproblemwithballance.
Judy - Huge tits,marriedto a retard.
Julia- Innocentface,don'ttrust her,she'll steal yourwalletinfive minutes
Juliet- Eats toomany chips,hasgreasyhair and a hairyarse.
Justine - Massive tits,likeshangingaroundmen'stoilets.
Julie - Likesoutdoorsex,preferablywithachance of gettingcaught.
Kacie - cute and adorable,butprone tosulking.
Karen- Huge tits,shags like arabbit.
Kate - kisseswithhertongue andcan holda conversationwhilstdoingit.
Katherine - old-fashionedgirl,giggleswhenanyonementionsnaughtywords.
Katey - Tom boy,likeshersex dirty,usuallyoutdoors.
Katie - likesblokesandteamsports,preferablybothtogether.
Kayleigh - The Lara Croft of Essex,greatinbed(practice makesperfect)
Keira- personmostlikelytostarta cult,relatedtoStarlin.
Kelly - smellsof cheese,slobberswhenkissing.
Kelley - notverybright,can't spell Kelly.
Kelsey - Veryclever,wearsglasses,boysscare her.
Kerran- triesto be mysterious,buteveryone hasbeenthere.
Kerry - pretty,cute,andchangesunderwearonce a week.
Kiersten - verysexytolookat,hard to please inbed.
Kimberley- wantstobe a bloke,drinkslike abloke,fartslikeabloke,wearsawig.
Kirsty - Eats live moles,can'tdance.
Krista- Cool and pretty,tendstodaydreamall dayand sleepwalkall night.
Kristy - Shyuntil she getsdrunk,prone tospots.
Kristen- Emotionallystunted,thinksRobot-Warsiscruel andshouldbe banned.
Kylie - Can'tsing butwhocares ... lovelyarse.
Lana - Hatedby her parents,accidental pregnancy.
Lara - Actionpacked,neverseennaked.
Laura - LikesMax powermagazine,can'tdrive.Dominatrix
Lauren– Pertbreasts,seldomventuresoutatnight.
Leah - Likesoutdoorsex,weesstandingup.
Leanne - eats a lotof raw meat,mostguys are scared of her.
Lena - Eats foodthenthrowsup,rapidlyshrinking.
Leonie - Tall girl wholikesshortboys,it'sa powerthing.
Leslie - Likesbondage,hatesmen.
Leyla- Hot and horny,the girl that alwayswill.
Lily- Makesa goodfriend,doesn'ttake crapfromanyone.
Linda- Teenage bride canswalloworanges whole.
Lindsey - Likesdoggystyle,doesn'tdohousework.
Lisa - Will take all your moneyandrun,gets turnedonby porn.
Liz - Long leggedandbrainy.
Lizbeth- Sensible andserious,cantalkwithoutmovingherlips.

11. Lorraine - Constantlywhinges,will stripforapacketof jellybabies
Lorrie - Namedafterthe vehicle she weighsthe same as.
Louise/a- Likestoget around,fantasticbreasts.
Luci - cute and loveable
Lucy - Strange dancer,wantsto marry herdad.
Lynn - Funnyand sexy,everythingabloke wantsinawoman.
Lynnette - Has the attentionspanof a budgerigar,likesprettythings.
Madeline - Driveslike abloke,likestractors.
Madusa - Reallylikesmen,preferrablygrilledwithaside salad.
Maggie - Trainspotter,likesplaid.
Mairi - Quietandshybut incrediblyclever,secretlyplanningtotake overthe world.
Mandy - Cute and cuddly,thickasa shortplank.
Margaret - Lovelymother,verygenerous.
Maria - Bangs like abarn door.
Marie - Life sappingdominatrix.LikesmentodoDIY.
Marina - Noget up andgo, rustyunderwear.
Marion - stuffsherbra withtissue,abitcross-eyed.
Marolyn- Eats like a horse,outstaysher welcome.
Martina - Uglylesbian.
Martine - Can't act, can't sing,nice tits.
Mary - Likesmenwithlongtonguesandtalentedfingers.
Matilda- Likesdancing,mainlythe waltz.
Mavis - seemsnice until younotice the blackcat,broomstickandpointedhat.
Meg - Cheesysmell,shouldbe speltwithanS.
Meghan - Cold,hard-heartedbitch,enjoysupsettinglittlechildren.
Melanie - Can hold2 bar vacuum orallyindefinitely.
Melinda- Trailertrash ...pretty,plump,andinfected.
Melissa- Eats dogs,has beeninprison6 timesforburglary.
Meryl - Danceslike an ape,doesn'trealise.
Michaela- Likesanimals,shouldmake avideo withthem.
Michelle - Wearswhite stilettos,dancesroundherhandbag.
Marsha - Big butt,small brain.
Molly - Prettyandnaive,wouldlike tobe slimmer,wearsclotheswithtoomanyflowers.
Monica - Doesn'tswallow,shouldhave.
Nadine - StuntLady, can drinkanybloke underthe table!Don'tmesswithher.
Naomi - Wannabe diva,more of a diver.
Nancy - White hair,rememberstanners.
Narelle - Likesdressingupasa Frenchmaidbut notFrench.
Natalie - Eats withhermouthopen,fartsthe Nokiaphone tune.
Natasha- Had sevenkidsbefore age 17,needsironing.
Nell - Hasn't realisedWWIIhasended,livesinKent.
Niamh- Quietand cute,secretlywearsmensunder-wear.

12. Nicci - Pretty,blonde,nicelydressedandvacant.
Nichola- quiet,studioustype,wears glasses,atigerinbed.
Nicola- Slapper,alcoholicindenial.
Nicole - small sweetandwithnice hair,shouldwearunderwearmore often.
Niki - wannabe mysteriousspybutnotbrightenough.
Nina- Stuffsherbra withtissues,beensingle foryears.
Nissa- speachimpedimentcauseshertohiss,fondof reptiles.
Olga- You can park a bike inherarse crack, excessive facialhair.
Olive - usuallyaccompaniedbyacouple of people inwhite coats.
Olivia- Gorgeousandknowsit,has to sew herself intohertrousers..
Olwyn- stupidname,welsh,justunluckyIguess.
Pamela- Givesamazinghead,made of plastic.
Patricia- Obsessiveaboutappearances,yetdeniesthatshe'sshallow.
Pat - shortand common,one of the ladsand a bitof a laff.
Paula- Transvestite merchantbankerfromBasildon.
Peggy - Wears outdatedclothesandwill onlydomissionaryposition.
Penelope- Pitstopqueen,likeshermentobe stiff.
Peta- Roughand tough,seriouslyintobondage.
Phillippa- Forestforager,likeswildboar.
Phyliss- Thinkssex isdirty,alwayswashingherhands.
Polly - nice girl withreallybaddress-sense,fashiondisaster,it'sashame.
Priscilla- likespaintingwithoils,Duckhamsmainly.
Preya- can't cook or cleanbut goodinbed.
Prudence - sensiblegirl,wearsflatshoes,butwill shaganythingintrousers.
Rachel - Amazinggravitydefyingbreasts,cangripa tennerinherarsecheeks.
Rebecca- Hairyarmpits,orgasmswithoutcontact.
Rebekah - Notverybright,pretty,butsometimesforgetstobathe.
Renee - Huge breasts,butwishesblokeswouldnotice hermind.
Romany - Wildand beautiful,swingsbothways.
Rosalind - Upper-classladybutworksas a secretagentwhenthe governmentneedsher.
Rose - Can be prickly,givesgoodhead.
Rosemary - Veryshy,nearly alwaysseenwithabrightredface.
Roz - Onlyenjoyssex whenshe'stiedupandspankedfirst.
Rula- She measuresupwell.
Ruth - Has stretchmarksaround hermouth.
Sadie - Stand upif you're slim,please standup.
Sally - Drivesa Mustang, fightsinpubs.
Samantha- Lovesherbrother,has 4 deformedchildren.
Sandra - Shags donkeysforfun,bowlegged.
Sara - Air-head,withagorgeousbodytocompensate.
Sarah - intelligent,funnyandverytalentedwhenitcomestothe naughtystuff.
Sarah-Jane - 'posh' girl,will screwanythinginaBMW.

13. Selina- Doesn'twearpants,heavylaundrybills.
Shannon - Beautiful,curvaceous,shouldbe amodel.
Sharon- The original bitchqueen,useseveryoneshe meets.
Shauna- Livesina trailer,has16 kidseach witha differentsurname.
Shelly - verycute,buta bit of a soft-heartedslapper.
Sheree - Cute,butveryloud!desperatelyneedsavolume control.
Shirley - CanswallowaCurlyWhirlywhole,likesbananas.
Shona- Librarianby day,exoticdancerbynight.
Sinead- Wears bigknickersanda vest,butis secretlyverysexual.
Sian- Doesmeansheepimpression,hatesmintsauce.
Silka- Appearsshy,butsecretlyMissWhiplashthe dominatrix.
Silke - Onlyeverhassex outdoorsnearherfavourite tree.
Simone - Usedto be a shotputterfromCardiff.
Sonya- Dirtyladyof the night.Oftenreferredtoasa "carrier".
Sophia- Beautiful girl withlonglegs,ashame herarse isthe size of a small country.
Sophie - Brothel managerbecause she'stoouglytobe a workinggirl.
Stacey - Likescut off jeansandarselessSpeedo's.
Steffi - Closetlesbian,maintainsheterosexual relationshipforeffect.
Stella- reassuringlyexpensive,she'swortheverypenny!
Stephanie - EatsMuppets,wearsBrogues.
Sue/Susanne - shouldshave more often,wearsDenimaftershave.Veryfertile.
Summer- wearsflowersinherhair,a prettydress,and noknickers.
Sylvia- lovesthe outdoors.Mad.
Tammy - Kind-heartedandgenerous,particularlyinthe bedroom.
Tanya - Hot minx,tooshort.
Tara - Upper classslapper,enjoysranomchemicals.
Teresa- surprisinglysmall giventhe amountof alcohol she drinks.
Tina - Face like asmackedarse,shouldeatless.
Tori - Livesina hedge,can'twaterski.
Tracy - Easilyswayedbyalcohol.Mostlyseenwithoutunderwear.Loveskittens.
Tracey - Lesbian.
Trudy – Broody lesbian.Musical.Likesfistingandfarting.
Ursula - Likespuppies,usuallyinahotcurry.
Val - usuallydrunk,doesn'tknowwhereherknickersare.
Valerie - quaintandold-fashioned,someonesaunt.
Vanessa- Beautiful,power-crazybitch.
Veronica- closetlesbianwhosleepsaroundtoprove she isn't!
Vicky - LikesYoga. AndWomen.
Vikki - Drinksanythingsolongas it'sgot vodkain it.
Wendy - Possiblyaman.
Yvonne - Much happiernowthatthe sex change operationwasa success.

14. Zakia- Wants to be a spywhenshe growsup,but needstowashmore often.
Zoe - Talentlessrockchick.Preparedtouse sex asa weapon.