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我是黃翊淳,
目前就讀
銘傳大學電腦通訊工程學系,
曾經擔任
電通系會長
永遠都在
親善大使團
曾經我是一位沒目的、沒有自己想法的人,
跟著別人的腳步,我的價值在於旁人對我的批評,
我很自卑,因為我只有150公分,我覺得我好矮,
因為想要得到重視、得到尊重,讓人驚豔,
所以就用更多的外在條件,來滿足自己的不足,
永遠有改不完的缺點,反而變得越來越不喜歡自己
過度的追求外在,讓我失去了自己、失去了朋友、
失去了我最喜歡的人、更失去了家人對我的信任
自卑陪著我,有三年的時光,那是渾沌不堪的日子,
當一切倒空的時候,才開始重新站了起來。
重考的一年內,發現人生不是只有讀書,而是
要存在夢想,我開始試著去想,未來我要成為
怎麼樣的人?為什麼我會去羨慕別人的生活?甚
至是嫉妒別人比我人緣好!才發現我有多自卑,
把自己的價值建立於別人的批評,甚至是把別
人當聖旨,失去自己的判斷力,我開始多讓自
己充實一些正確的價值觀念,每天花一點時間
念些課外書當作放鬆,告訴自己,我所看到的
字詞,可以做多元化的吸收,用在未來的人生,
大學就像是一個小型社會,要運用在之後的道
路上,過去的不小心,會成為成功的養分,我
不夠高,不表示我沒有其他優點,只是,過去
太在意我沒有的東西,忘記去看我擁有的特質!
一開始進大學的時候,是穿著高跟鞋,因為我無法克服身
高給我的自卑感,有一本書上這麼寫著:「如果你想交好
朋友,出門就要多穿平底鞋。」當我穿上平底鞋,發現我
的腳舒服了,卻換到了男同學們的一些話:我以為你有167
公分、你要是長高點的話就是我理想的女朋友類型等,這
類的話語,我的反應從我想要繼續改變、繼續努力長高,
變成:喜不喜歡沒關係,我活著不是為了取悅你的想法。
剛剛好,我看到旁邊有位穿銘傳大學衣服的人,給在我斜
前方187公分的男生一張單子,上面寫著:親善大使團歡迎
你加入,下面是簡介,是一個單子,邀請他去面試,我心
想,大學社團這麼多,為什麼這個社團的人,都穿著有繡
銘傳大學的衣服?那個時候我就想說,既然這個社團這麼
厲害,管他有沒有身高限制,我要讓自己看得起自己,我
的夢想路,我自己去闖,再不讓人阻擋,我的故事我自己
寫!
我所認識的親善大使團,是個充滿陽光,個個都
是高手的一個社團,我去參加遴選的時候,害怕
的是我的身高問題,雖抱持著「反正沒有人認識
我」的想法,我是有一點自卑,可是我決定遴選
的那刻起,下定決心,「不因身高而放棄,只要
我選上了,未來相信更多嬌小但有夢想的人,會
因為我而有勇氣來遴選。」是這個想法,所以我
更勇敢,我演出時的自信,是我對自己的肯定!遴
選時,我得到了一個很寶貴的經驗,「人在選擇
的道路上都在冒險,冒險的時候,不輕易的失去
方向,則勇敢就是最棒的堅持。」我成為了親善
大使團的一員,也為我的故事多了很多色彩,我
不是因為身高,是因為我知道,自信跟勇氣並存,
才可以感動所有人。
在大二上的時候,我擔任系學會的總務股長,並為自
己爭取了迎新宿營總召的位置,學習當一個活動負責
人,去領導一大群人,而藉由這個活動,我更加的開
始了解自己,曾經的我以為,所有的人都是我的好朋
友,還是把別人的話當聖旨,要所有人喜歡我,如此
的卑微;但這樣的想法,卻讓這個活動被有心人利用,
顛倒了是非,讓我承擔許多莫須有的罪名,還是失去
了朋友,感覺回到高中時候,被討厭、被不重視,又
要失去一堆了;雖然難熬,但是我還是保持自己的原
則,最後留下來的人,讓我了解到:每個挫折的存在,
都有他的重要性;辦理宿營中,我學到了「勇敢的做
我自己,即便全世界的人都不相信我,也不可以傷害
別人。」雖然我失去了一些朋友,但我失去的,是跟
我不熟的;是因為這樣的想法,讓我漸漸地脫離自卑,
開始學習愛這個我,學會勇敢的去愛這個世界。
在我擔任會長前,我有不斷的充實人生,參加康輔營,
成為一等一的康輔人,和高手學習,得到一些回饋,
原來,最難得和最幸福的一句話是:有你真好,有人
因為你活著而幸福,是最大的快樂,就算沒有人對
我說,我也努力相信著,不久之後會有人對我說,
除了康輔營,我也參加了聯合幹部訓練,學到了:在
一個成功的團隊中,沒有個人英雄;所以在系學會
中,大家都很重要,即便只是個小職位,都會盡心
盡力,傾聽和諒解,是做為社團人該具備的特質,
做出整合,是大家該努力學習的;這些想法,是
《秘密》這本書教導我的,我曾經是很自卑的小孩,
可是我透過課外知識,不斷地複習,甚至在人生中
練習,才能夠慢慢地改變自己;甚至我發現,改變
的時候,不一定會覺得自己變了,但是生活會告訴
你,世界變美好了,而笑容會增加,帶領你改變的,
居然是你自己,這個時候會頓悟到,理解是需要時
間來體會的,只要想,就會有機會,當機會來了,
就要好好把握,珍惜眼前,因為,機會難得!
在我擔任會長之後,許多事情以多聽、多看,少說,
讓其他人表達自已的想法,學校有一個大型啦啦
舞比賽,這個比賽是我溝通力成長最多的活動,
教練、學長姐以及學弟妹,要以不同的方式溝通,
要去思考怎麼轉話想說的話,表達想法,其中有
笑有淚,但是這些必須走的路走完,也讓我對於
許多謾罵有了原諒的心態,比以前寬容。
會長是要分身乏術的,還要顧好學業成績,有很多
的人,不敢做自己想做的事情,是因為怕無法兼
顧而放棄,我會害怕,但是我相信,如果我不做,
我一定會後悔,因為我想讓大學人生學到更多除
了書本以外的知識和人生哲理,所以我一定要把
握機會,努力成長,因為錯過了,我就沒有機會
可以再擔任這個位置了,機會不等人,所以我選
擇冒險!
經過了這些事情,我終於有勇氣面對我內心最脆弱的
一塊區域,就是高中那一段,很深的喜歡,喜歡到
沒有自我,到最後就連分手都很痛苦,當時我只是
喜歡一個人,我的人生很簡單,除了愛情還是愛情,
我想要成為高挑的女生、改變外表好讓我更引他注
意,當然會有很多嫉妒、猜疑,以負面情緒的出現,
免不了的爭執、抱怨,接踵而來,分手時我哭的很
慘,甚至以為我沒機會站起來,這個人是我的全世
界;但在我重考時,發現一句話 :成功是最好的報復,
這句話讓我堅強,我經過這麼多事情,反省我自己,
是該由我來證明給他看,還是說,我們兩個都有各
自的人生?我學習思考感情,感情不是只有對方,而
是除了對方,還要擁有其他的元素,愛只是一部分;
人活著,不能沒有目標,也許這個人,他想告訴我
的是這個道理,只因當時年紀小,停留在只有你我
的世界裡,想起來覺得很可愛,會心一笑。
現在的我,發現了只要不放棄,處處都有機會可以成
長,一個人的人生,會有很多個夢想,都會不同階
段實現,我聽過的演講中,《陳文茜&蔡康永—給年
輕人的一封短信》,有句話受用無窮,蔡康永說:如
果你的人生只做你專業的事,那麼你不會很厲害;
我很認同,因為我就是一直在往這個方面去實現,
想鼓勵所有人「開始,需要相信;堅持,需要勇
氣。」我們都不是最完美的,就是因為存在不完美,
才能讓我們更加勇敢的堅持自己的蛻變,當有了自
己發光發熱的地方,就是燦爛的開始,要有不怕失
敗的心,寧願我們在人生年輕時跌倒,也不要放在
未來後悔;別讓自己的人生太平凡,因為每個人都
獨一無二!
我不因為我150公分而自卑,因為我完成了很多個150
公分的里程碑,自信與身高無關,我會帶著我的努
力,繼續完成150公分的奇蹟。

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Ted op en mic 黃翊淳