2. Tourist Couture
Backpack, great for carrying
bottled
water, snacks, sunscreen, souve
nirs, pepper spray, informational
pamphlets, Chihuahuas, cool
Comfortable, functional footwear
rocks, Obama, and other
(great for walking)
necessities.
Children, the hottest new
accessory of the season. Be
sure to bring them anywhere
and everywhere, especially if
they are crying and/or
screaming and/or someone
might trip on them.
Protection from the sun
and/or government
spycopters (probably a thing)
3. Characteristics of the Tourist
• Taking pictures
• Looks lost
• Heavily reliant on
Google Maps
• Will shamelessly ask
you where X, Y or Z
monument/memorial/
attraction is
• May or may not be on
a Segway
4. IN CONTRAST:
The Local
• Knows where they’re going
• This
• Owns one of
these bad
boys
is a cute suggestion, but is
rarely acknowledged
• Appropriately dressed for the temperature and weather conditions
• (Is rarely on a Segway)
5. AND FINALLY:
Me
• Looks lost
• Is probably lost
• Does not have a
smartphone, and thus is heavily
reliant on a big, unfolding
map, that lets everyone know I
don’t know where I am
• Shamefully asks for directions
• Shamelessly asks to pet
everyone’s dogs
• Owns a SmartTrip card
• Often misses stops or gets on the
train going the wrong way
• Jaywalks
• Has almost gotten run over at least 5 times
• Two of which were by bikes
• Probably cold
• I’m currently wearing a long sleeved shirt, a
sweater, and I have a jacket, but currently 30% of
the reason I’m writing this post is because I don’t
want to face the freezing winds in the 20 ft walk
between this Starbucks and my car.
• It’s like 50 degrees. So basically an Arctic winter.
• The locals are calling this “fall.”
• It is a full 20 degrees warmer in Atlanta right now
• How am I going to survive the winter
