The document contains short passages from the perspective of different dogs commenting on various everyday situations and experiences, such as wanting their water dishes filled, looking for a ball their person threw, and making excuses for paws that need washing before being let inside.

1. But mom, our water dishes are empty. No birds were taking a
bath. It’s not like we’ve been drinking toilet water.

2. Wish I had my sunglasses. So you’ve said a hundred times.
For the 4th time, shall we cross the road now or not?
Never mind. I’m crossing now.

3. What? No bowls in the house?

4. Do these
wrinkles
make me
look old?

5. You said, “Sit.” You did not say where.

6. There’s always
a tradeoff.
I don’t have
bad hair
days.
I don’t have
much hair.

7. Where is that green
ball? My person
threw it over here.
Maybe he wants the
ice cream all to
himself. Gotta find
that ball before the
ice cream’s all gone.
“Here ball, come to
doggie.”

8. I’m telling you, it was a sea monster. Sprang at me from the sea as I
was chasing the water. It was black with a red face and the longest
arms I’ve ever seen. My mum’s got a picture. You just wait. Some
day you will see it too and no one will believe you.

9. I wasn’t getting
into the water. I
was washing my
paws so that I
don’t track mud
into the house.
You are letting
me into the
house. Aren’t
you?