This screenplay summary introduces the main characters Penelope Platt and Henry Miller in 19th century London. Penelope saves Henry from a trap at the Universal Zetetic Society, a gentlemen's club that promotes flat Earth theory. They are confronted by armed porters but rescued by Lucy Brindle, who arrives through a window with a metal creature on her shoulder.
1. Chapter One:
Large White American Teeth, Flat Earth Theory, and Metallic Critters, in which Our Fair
Penelope Indragora Platt Saves One Henry Miller from a Most Certainly Horrendous Death
SCREENPLAY BY
K. SHAWN EDGAR
(Based on a story outline for "Title Here" by Carrie Davis, et al.)
(Rough Draft #3 on 4/3/2010)
2. FADE IN:
EXT. LONDON – EGYPTIAN MONUMENT ON THAMES – EVENING – FALL 1883
A small explosion of mostly sound and smoke at the base of Cleopatra's Needle startles passersby. As
the commotion clears and the crowd disperses, a tall dark figure clad in great coat and hat strides
forward and removes a small object now exposed at the obelisk's base.
CLOSE UP
Human eyes. Their gaze darts intently over the object as the pupils dilate with exuberance, and then
the eyes close.
CUT TO:
EXT. UNIVERSAL ZETETIC SOCIETY BUILDING – MOMENTS LATER
ESTABLISHING
A stout brick facade with Roman columns juts from a brick roadway and paved sidewalk. The sun is
setting slowly behind. On the sidewalk, PENELOPE INDRAGORA PLATT, paces briskly while muttering
aloud.
An engraved SIGN above the building's entrance reads: UNIVERSAL ZETETIC SOCIETY | GENTLEMAN'S
CLUB.
MEDIUM SHOT
As Penelope cuts back on her path and her oral train of thought:
PENELOPE PLATT
No, no observance of orders, proper orders, to protect
Queen and Country, overrules these bourgeois social
norms.
CLOSE UP
As Penelope cuts back the other way:
PENELOPE PLATT (CONT'D)
However, in doing our duty must we trample all sense of
societal order...?
3. INT. UNIVERSAL ZETETIC SOCIETY BUILDING – GENTLEMAN'S CLUB
Peaceful even quiet envelopes a room of leather chairs and couches; all are occupied by men in well
tailored gray or black suits, uniform in their styling and cut.
Tobacco smoke, forming an unfriendly atmosphere not unlike that of a coal-powered factory, fills the
cavernous upper reaches between average head height and ceiling beams.
The fading brilliance of elongated rectangles of sunlight from several high windows pierces the smoke,
converging on a wide set of double doors at the far end of the room.
With the suddenness of stagehand-produced thunder and lightning at the climax of a mystery play the
heavy wooden doors burst open as Penelope rushes in.
CLOSE UP
of several surprised male faces, one of who's pipe flips up as he clenches his teeth with vexation,
projecting its burning tobacco wad into the air.
CLOSE UP
on Penelope with the hint of surprised satisfaction briefly commanding her delicate features.
MEDIUM SHOT
as she strides forward, visibly looking for a particular person.
There is a brief high-pitched NOISE just within human hearing, and Penelope stops.
TWO PORTERS, dressed in plain dark suits and wearing round bowler hats, approach through the wide
double doors, still standing open in the background.
CLOSE UP
Penelope starts to cry quietly, a few tears rolling down her pale checks, accompanied by the muffled
SOUNDS of a distant crackly recording, as if the birth cry of a machine had been captured on lead.
CUT TO:
4. INT. LONDON HOSPITAL – DAY
Bright sunlight illuminates several rows of beds, about a dozen shinny metal carts and tables cluttered
with medical equipment, and the pale and sickly faces of bedridden children.
At one end, seated upright next to one such bed, Penelope holds a BOOK she's reading ALOUD to a
SMALL BOY of auburn hair and large freckles.
PENELOPE PLATT (READING)
"... at this depth – far beyond all sense of human
understanding – the dark, cold waters of Nature's bitter
sea absorb and cripple even the most ardent souls ..."
A NURSE'S AIDE, carrying a silver tray with an envelope, approaches the bed and CLEARS HER THROAT.
NURSE'S AIDE
Excuse me, Miss Platt...?
PENELOPE PLATT
Penelope, please.... Is that for me?
NURSE'S AIDE
Yes ... Penelope ... just came for you, mum, from a hansom
gentleman ... with a foreign accent.
Penelope reads the note to herself, folds it back into the envelope, and places it in her purse.
PENELOPE PLATT
My dear, I must leave you now. I will continue this story on
my next visit.
INT. UNIVERSAL ZETETIC SOCIETY BUILDING – GENTLEMAN'S CLUB – LONG DARK HALLWAY
The two plain-clothed porters briskly escort Penelope along, passed many doorways. One man has
Penelope by the elbow, the other has his hand lightly on her opposite shoulder.
With one free hand, Penelope reaches into her overcoat pocket and slyly releases several small
metallic-looking objects onto the floor behind her.
As the threesome disappear into the darkness of the hallway, the castoff objects begin to jitter and
jump. Long metal toe-like appendages emerge from them, like cleats from a tripod, and in unison, as if
by command, they scuttle off in every direction.
5. EXT./INT. CAFÉ PARALLAX – EVENING
Several well-dressed COUPLES sit around a large table, awash in the light of the setting sun. A WAITER,
carrying a tray, approaches. The waiter genteelly interrupts by clicking his heels together and
presenting the tray.
A massive MAN of proper bearing and high forehead reaches for a rectangular OBJECT on the tray.
As the man's giant fleshy hand is about to scoop up the oblong, it jitters and jumps into action,
running along his arm and across the table to a tall WOMAN, opposite him, dressed in a plain
utilitarian way that's all together different from the other women.
The metallic-looking critter leaps effortlessly into the air, coming to rest in the palm of her tan
sculpted hand.
She quickly removes a small metal rod from an unseen pocket and inserts it into the side of the critter,
cranking several times clockwise.
There's a NOISE, not unlike the chime of a clock, and then we HEAR a hollow tinny voice repeat the
phrase:
RECORDED VOICE
The kettle is dinged. The tinker is needed. The kettle is
dinged. The tinker is needed.
With a smile and nod LUCY BRINDLE, still holding the critter, excuses herself with a gesture -- a plea of
understanding, really -- toward the chirping critter and rushes away.
As her former companions at the table shake their heads and chatter with each other, our genteel
waiter quietly leaves, ducking INSIDE the Café Parallax proper as if disappearing over the horizon.
BACK OFFICE – MOMENTS LATER
The waiter and a MAN of lanky, awkward height stand in front of a wall-sized painting of the
monument on the Thames, Cleopatra's Needle.
In a good natured, yet well enunciated British, the man giggles and coos to the waiter:
MAN
This is indeed good news, Sapphira. I shall act upon your
report immediately.
6. INT. UNIVERSAL ZETETIC SOCIETY BUILDING – GENTLEMAN'S CLUB – BASEMENT ROOM
WIDE SHOT
Penelope is tied to a chair in the middle of the room, a determined expression dawning over delicate
features.
As we MOVE IN a shinny silver glow rises from behind as hundreds of METAL CRITTERS crawl into view
over the back wall, streaming along the floor to her chair. CLIP, CLIP!
LONG DARK HALLWAY – MOMENTS LATER
Penelope follows one of her metal critters along the passageway. They stop directly in front of another
closed door. Her hundreds-strong critters methodically dismantle the door, exposing another
basement room not unlike the one Penelope quited only moments before.
WIDE SHOT
LOOKING IN from passageway: A plainly dressed, athletic MAN of broad shoulder and determined
gaze sits nonchalantly, tied to a chair in the middle of the room, a wooden tooth pick jutting from
between large white American teeth.
EXT. HYDE PARK LONDON – SPEAKERS' CORNER – EVENING
ESTABLISHING
With the waters of The Serpentine gracing the horizon in the background, a small group of MEN
center disk-like around one MAN who stands on an upturned wooden crate.
TRACKING
One SAMUEL BIRLEY ROWBOTHAM of lanky, awkward height is speaking loudly in a good natured, yet
well enunciated British to a raucous crowd of men. Rowbotham is a writer, inventor and owner of the
Parallax Café.
ROWBOTHAM
So-called "scientists" have falsely lead our great people
from true, demonstrated and demonstrable, proofs
provided by 6,000 years of recorded history in an attempt
to belie the Ten Commandments!
CONT'D NEXT PAGE
7. The crowd CHEERS and CHANTS Rowbotham, Rowbotham, Rowbotham.
ROWBOTHAM (CONT'D)
Yet Zetetic Astronomy by its very existence proves Earth is
not a globe!
More raucous yelping and cheering and chanting.
ROWBOTHAM (CONT'D)
I myself have conducted experiments in which a boat with
flag-staff high flown sailed the distance of six miles from
Welche's Dam to Welney Bridge; thus, observing with a
telescope from inches above water level, the boat and flag
were visible throughout the whole distance!
Rowbotham dramatically raises both arms high in triumph and warning. The crowd settles a bit.
ROWBOTHAM (CONT'D)
And now we have new observable proof that they, these
men of scripted science, have manufactured metal devices
intended to undo our very Creation! Rise up, my Fellows!
R-I-S-E up!
Off to one side of Speakers' Corner, unseen by human eyes, a small metallic critter with cleat-like toes
scuttles away from the scene, madly rushing toward its own creator with a warning.
INT. UNIVERSAL ZETETIC SOCIETY BUILDING – GENTLEMAN'S CLUB – BASEMENT ROOM
CLOSE UP
on large white American teeth and gnarled tooth pick set in weathered, passionate red lips:
HENRY MILLER'S MOUTH
I am Henry Miller. And you, dear lady ... just certainly saved
me from a horrendous death.
CONT'D NEXT PAGE
8. WIDE SHOT
Henry Miller leans causally against the very chair that only moments before held him captive, the cut
ropes discarded and strewn over the seat.
Penelope moves about quickly, picking through the strange clutter on top of a table and work bench.
HENRY MILLER (CONT'D)
And judging from your active silence you are fully aware of
the gravity of my — our — situation.
Penelope picks up a foil-covered cylinder from the table. Flipping it around several times, she spots a
grove in the foil and runs her fingertip along its path.
PENELOPE PLATT
Curious work...
HENRY MILLER
Um, curiouser and curiouser. How, by the way, did you
come to be here? At this, shall I say, misguided Flat-Earth
Gentleman's...
EXT. LONDON SHIPYARD – DAY – SPRING 1877
The yard is speckled and dusted with golden sunlight, the coal residue-flecked air alight in the
brightest beams. Two large ships of sea are moored at dock in the background.
A younger Penelope Platt stands with a MAN who if not for his thirty-plus years seniority could be her
twin brother. Instead, being her very own father and guardian, Mr. Platt holds Penelope's baggage
while keeping a wary eye on passersby and the assorted dock workers.
Passengers begin to board via the gangplank.
Penelope and Mr. Platt head up along the narrow bridge to the ship. Suddenly, Penelope notices she's
left her handbag on the ground.
Quickly turning back to the dismay of her father, Penelope reaches the wharf as TWO MEN rush
passed knocking her to the ground.
CONT'D NEXT PAGE
9. As they mount the gangplank, the man behind grabs the man in front and claps a large metal and
glass DEVICE to his back. The device WHINES audibly and leather straps project from its top, wrapping
themselves around his shoulders.
The strapped man emits a childlike SCREAM that stops all in their tracks as he's pushed flat to the
gangplank by the other man, who then leaps clear and falls into the water below.
There's an immense explosion as the chemicals in the metal-mounted glass tubes combine.
Chaotic shock of hot metal shrapnel and pain. Shards of wooden planks and fire fly in every direction
covering and decimating all bodies of flesh in the arcing trajectory.
Poor Mr. Platt, being only a short distance from the exploding man, is shredded and burned to an
inhuman heap that topples into the water and disappears.
Our fair Penelope, on the other hand, being at the bottom of the gangplank is knocked flat as a disk
floating on endless water by the burst of heat and flying bits of metal and wood. As her mind drifts
toward the edge of this world, a limitless wall of ice keeps her soul from dropping over the edge.
Penelope's body, still crumpled on the wharf, however, smolders as clouds of black smoke drift over,
caressing the torn and discolored flesh now exposed from beneath her best traveling frock.
The chaos swirls into semi-directional action and eventual order as firefighters and rescue workers
arrive. Penelope's body is lifted and carried away on a stretcher by unknown hands.
EXT. UNIVERSAL ZETETIC SOCIETY BUILDING – GENTLEMAN'S CLUB ENTRANCE – EVENING
Lucy Brindle, running up, gulps large breaths of air as she scans the facade of this large brick building.
CLOSE UP
on her head and shoulders. There's a symmetry to her facial features, now very active, that is mirrored
in the "face" area of the metal critter still resting on Lucy's shoulder. Both seem to be interpreting
their environment, sizing up the lay of the land.
To one side, the ENTRANCE to an alleyway comes into sharp, purposeful focus.
Lucy Brindle and her shoulder-jockey dash down the alleyway and along the side of the Zetetic
building.
CONT'D NEXT PAGE
10. REAR COURTYARD GARDEN – MOMENTS LATER
Lucy appears from the darkness of the alleyway and quickly finds a set of windows high up in the back
wall of the building.
INT. UNIVERSAL ZETETIC SOCIETY BUILDING – GENTLEMAN'S CLUB – LONG DARK HALLWAY
Running shadows cut along the dark passageway, as FOUR PORTERS appear 'round a corner at full
sprint.
In unison, FOUR REVOLVERS are drawn and made ready by the men dressed in dark suits and bowler
hats as they charge forward.
Reaching the open doorway with its dismantled door parts scattered on the passageway floor they
stop abruptly — gazing IN with guns leveled at the two inhabitants.
BASEMENT ROOM – INSTANTANEOUS
TRACKING SHOT
as the bowler-clad porters enter silently but with obvious intent.
Penelope stiffly sets the foil-covered cylinder she had been perusing back on the tabletop and with it,
two small rectangular objects. Guns and aggression make her nervous. Best to be prepared.
Henry Miller, without changing his relaxed man-at-home posture, smiles broadly at the men as if they
each carry a bottle of wine or loaf of bread rather than erect revolvers.
HENRY MILLER
Gentlemen, I am Henry Miller —
(Whisking a brown hat from his head in a dramatic
gesture)
And this fair lady ... is obviously in no mood for formality.
Penelope's thrown, condescending look at Henry puts an exclamation on his point (!).
HENRY MILLER (CONT'D)
You (to Penelope) really should introduce yourself at some
point.
CONT'D NEXT PAGE
11. WIDE SHOT
A sudden and violent SMASHING SOUND: Shards of glass fall from above, clattering onto the stone
floor, and with them a LARGE METAL SPHERE impacts just clear of Henry's feet.
THICKLY BRAIDED ROPE, attached to the metal sphere, pulls taut at an angle rising to a small window
set high in the outside wall of the room.
Everyone looks toward the now broken window, as one Lucy Brindel — metal critter perched on
shoulder — pokes her upper body through the opening and aims a small, singlehanded crossbow at
the assembled porters.
PENELOPE PLATT
Lucy! You got my message after all. Welcome.
Squeezing the crossbow's trigger to release a wooden bolt with barbed metal head, she
simultaneously flips a leather strap over the taut rope and grabs both ends with her free hand. As the
bolt finds its mark in the chest of one unlucky porter, Lucy and the critter slide down the rope.
The remaining porters, one firing a Hail Mary shot passed Penelope and into the wall, attempt to take
cover.
Without more than the slightest muscle memory twitch, however, Henry Miller takes the opportunity
of this distraction to calmly cold-cock a porter with one of the metal cylinders from the table.
Then, both Lucy and Henry ready themselves to take out the remaining porters, who have dropped
back and are aiming their revolvers.
All this happens in shutter frame succession as if slightly slower and more pronounced than reality.
But then, with the suddenly harsh impact of a real-life car crash, Penelope's scream slams the action
into full speed:
Taking up the two rectangular objects that she had earlier placed unseen on the table, she throws
them with precision equal to the shot of a military snipper into the open mouths of the porters who
fire misses into the ceiling as their teeth are smashed to bits.
The metallic critters activate, metal toe-like cleats projecting from their sides; they scurry about in the
dark orifices, causing the two porters to choke to death violently.
CONT'D NEXT PAGE
12. WIDE SHOT
A room as still and quiet as a midnight graveyard illustration in London's Poverty Bay Herald. Pause.
Lucy, filled with visible shock and awe, staggers forward. She kneels by the bodies, and with slight
hesitation clinically removes the now motionless metal critters — one from each porter's mushed
face.
Henry hangs back, surprised and disturbed, but with his trademark nonchalance. Face alight.
Strangely, on the other hand, Penelope quickly takes up several of the foil-covered cylinders and a thin
black vinyl-looking disk, shoving them at Henry:
PENELOPE PLATT
What were you doing here?! Who are these people, and
why were they keeping you captive? I demand to know in
the name of Her Majesty's Secret Service!
HENRY MILLER
The HMSS you say...? What an opportune coincidence. I
was sent for by them from the States. This mess with the
Flat-Earthers was merely happenstance.
LUCY BRINDEL
Yes, what did the Zetetic Society want with you? These
diaphragms look like you've embossed them with
telegraphic information.
EXT./INT. PARALLAX CAFÉ – NIGHT
ESTABLISHING
A cozy table for three illuminated by the old-world, non-electric gas light of a universally romantic
(and in this telling romanticized) world on the cusp of a new age of technology.
CLOSE UP
Our heroes in turn — Lucy Brindel, Henry Miller, and the fair Penelope Indragora Platt — as they chat
and dine on tea and biscuits.
CONT'D NEXT PAGE
13. MEDIUM SHOT
Henry is speaking (M.O.S.) and pulls a thin black vinyl-looking disk from under his overcoat, handing it
to Penelope. He mimes cranking a lever of some kind and is clearly describing the process of recording
sound with a phonograph.
We HEAR the muffled SOUNDS of a distant crackly recording, as if the birth cry of a machine had been
captured on tinfoil or lead. WHISPERS of circumferences, longitudes and latitudes mingle with the
chimes of a clock.
WIDE SHOT
In the mid-ground, a line of MEN in well-tailored gray or black suits, uniform in their styling and cut,
march through the street CHANTING and holding SIGNS printed with large lettering: EARTH IS A
GLOBE.
CLOSE UP
Off to one side, Sapphira, our genteel waiter who's been looking on, backs quietly INSIDE the Café
Parallax.
BACK OFFICE – MOMENTS LATER
The waiter (M.O.S) frantically describes the action outside to the owner, a man of lanky, awkward
height, one Samuel Birley Rowbotham — the writer and inventor who champions Flat Earth Theory.
Rowbotham dramatically throws his arms up above his head in a gesture of anger. And, foretelling of
imminent revenge, lets out a SCREAM as we PUSH IN on the wall-sized image of Cleopatra's Needle in
the background.
FADE OUT