THE SCHOOL ETHOS “...for management believe, with faith naïve and blind, that discipline and order will somehow ensue from gentle tongues and pats on the head..” THE WORKPLACE “But whats this - a sixth form block? The common room entices with smells of toast and coffee but ear-numbing musicand rubbish spewing forth from every pore repulses."
THE NEW SCHOOL YEAR "New timetables new syllabuses new pupils... Rude, early morning awakenings by alarm clocks grown rusty after weeks of disuse." THE STAFFROOM "4 p.m. "...the Hoover roars "The bell for break: Hallelujah! then quietness descends the peace is shattered. The end of the play for once more With utter relief today. Lets on to the and only the chairs are left the teachers swarm in staffroom, to stand guard and dive like maniacs all the teachers say... ...conscious of their task towards biscuits and ...and bodies sink to protect this refuge coffee. with sighs of relief of normalityA slug of hot, black liquid into the welcoming seats... an escape from thisand the dry tongues loosen A few moments of peace teaching insanity!" and start to speak..." away from the noise and pace..."
THE LESSONS "The third lesson, after break,hair and uniform now a mess,the pupils enter the classroomand the teacher starts to sigh..." THE DUTIES “Whoops! Theres a girl hanging out the window, better get in there quickbefore something worse happens and someone gets sick."
THE OPEN AFTERNOON "With welcoming smile the uniformed angels conduct the parents around..." THE COOK "...quick, dexterous hands conjuring up warm dishes, cold dishes, scintillating salads, vegetarian delights, delicious desertsand the tastiest of tea-time treats."
THE CARETAKER "Short, stocky and strong with toolbox in hand and a ladder under his feet he replaces and mends opens and locks stacks and restacks till hes ready to drop." THE INSPECTION "For months avalanches of handbooks and policies have eruptedfrom smoking-hot photocopiers bringing senior managers and HODs to their knees."