1. 48 Sunday Mail September 11, 2011 Sunday Mail September 11, 2011 49
COPS GRAB SURROGATE MUMS REVEAL HEAVEN A
AND HELL OF GIVING THEIR PRECIOUS BABIES AWAY
PICTURE: PHIL DYE
DRUG HAUL
I knew I’d
There can be few things more
selfless than carrying a baby for
nine months for a couple unable
HEROIN with a street campaign to crack down on to have children of their own.
value of around ser iou s orga n ised cr i me Surrogacy is often the last
£10 0,0 0 0 has been groups.
The blitz targets the north- resort for those yearning to start
seized at a railway
east’s roads, railways and ferry a family. A woman, or surrogate,
never be
station. terminals.
Grampian Police said the carries a baby for the couple
class A drug was recovered at Detective Inspector Alex
Dowall said: “This significant using an egg transplanted into
Aberdeen station yesterday.
A 37-year-old man from seizure of class A controlled her womb, or one of her own.
Liverpool will appear at the drugs was destined for our Surrogacy is not illegal in the
city’s sheriff court on Monday streets.
in connection with the haul. “We will continue to target UK but it is an offence to
The seizure, which involved organised crime groups from advertise as a surrogate or
mum to
members of the force’s major outwith the area who traffic broker an arrangement. It is
investigation team, was made controlled drugs into the
as part of Operation Shield, a Grampian region.” also a crime to take money for
carrying someone else’s baby Family: Lyndsay with Alan and children Olivia and Thomas
although surrogates can be
paid reasonable expenses.
Here, KAREN BALE speaks to
two women with very different
Lyndsay signs
up to help third
my little
stories to tell about the pleasure
– and perils – of becoming
a surrogate mum.
childless couple
NEWS BY the time Lyndsay
Jack..but
Matthews is 30, she will have
SPECIAL had five babies – but only two
are her own.
At the age of 23, she
LOUISE MURRAY feels only decided to become a
heartbreak when she looks at surrogate mum.
She gave birth to Tom
photos of her little baby in August last year for a
boy Jack. couple who had tried for a
that does
Her eyes well up with tears when she child for 12 years.
remembers carrying him and how much she The woman, after seven
loved him during her pregnancy. failed courses of IVF, had
But now she aches for the baby she had to been diagnosed with breast
give away. cancer.
For Louise was a surrogate mum and Now, at 25, Lyndsay’s
handed him over to his new parents when he planning to embark on her
was just a day old. Now, she might never see second surrogate journey.
him again. And she’s already signed
not stop
Grief-stricken Louise barely talks to her up for her third.
baby’s parents and has seen Jack just twice Kind-hearted Lyndsay
since he was born seven months ago. said: “I knew, at 23, I was
She said: “I’m still grieving for my baby. done with having children Happy arrival: Olivia with
I felt like nobody cared for this tiny person for myself. But I knew I had a Joy and newborn baby Tom
growing inside me, except for me. good 20 child-bearing years
“For a good month before he was born, I left and I was young and before finding Joy and Dev
considered not handing him over to them. healthy. It seemed a waste to Sutton Ward. She said: “Joy
had just been diagnosed with
my heart
“I only did because I told them I would, and not help other women.
I kept my word. I was morally obliged.” “I think deep down I aggressive breast cancer.
It’s a sobering story of how surrogacy can always wanted to be a “She had had a
mastectomy but
cause huge pain for those involved.
Louise, 29, who has a little boy Sam, gave
surrogate. I’d seen
so many people
‘So refused chemo
birth to Jack for a Renfrewshire couple. struggle to have many until she could
get her eggs
They had tried for 12 years to have their own babies, so it
baby and gave her £1250 in expenses for the seemed natural struggle .. harvested. Joy
had tried seven
child they had longed for. to help.” it seemed
breaking
She had hoped her surrogacy journey would Call centre rounds of IVF to
be heart-warming and rewarding. Instead, worker Lyndsay, natural to try to get
she has been left on anti-depressants and
struggling to overcome her grief.
‘The of Glasgow, fell
pregnant with her help’
pregnant.
“She carried
Louise said sadly: “I’ve accepted now I
won’t be part of Jack’s life and I might never
moment Heartach
Louise with e:
first child, Thomas
Jack, when she was 19.
twins for six weeks
before she lost them –
see him again. What’s so sad is my little boy
Sam asks where the baby’s gone.”
after I gave son Sam, m her
photo. Inset,ain
Daughter Olivia was born less
than two years later.
she just needed a break.”
Joy, 36, and Dev, 52,
She decided to become a surrogate after a birth was pair with Ja the
ck
Lyndsay knew her family immediately invited her to
their Swansea home to chat.
close friend helped her fall pregnant.
Louise, who is gay, knew she couldn’t have
children naturally with her long-term partner
– Shattered surrogate Louise Murray the hardest’
with her partner Alan, 27, was
complete. She said: “I admit Lyndsay said: “We just
clicked. We signed a
I had my kids awfully young.
and was over the moon when a Alan and I just decided it had gentlemen’s agreement – I
pa l a g reed to donate h is them and agreed to be a surrogate. She your own baby. When you know you She explained: “They would say, ‘We was screaming at them, ‘Don’t give happened for a reason. would carry their baby and
sperm. admitted: “I jumped in feet first.” are getting a baby at the end that you can’t wait till the baby is here’ but to him to me, give him to his mum’. “We were supposed to they would support me
She fell pregnant with Sam in Although a surrogacy contract is will love forever, the love carries you me the baby was already here. But his cord was short, so they had to grow up a wee bit earlier than through the pregnancy, the
November 2008 and began to not legally binding in the UK, Louise, through the difficult times.” “I tried to tell them but they didn’t put him on my stomach for a full five everybody else.” way my partner would if the
look into su r rogac y wh i le of Greenock, Renfrewshire, and the Louise estimates she saw the understand. minutes. But as her kids got older, baby was my own.”
carrying him. couple signed surrogacy papers. couple 10 or 11 times throughout her “I think after 12 years of trying for “It was such a horrible, painful thing Lyndsay began to think of Medics collected 17 of Joy’s
Overwhelmed with gratitude A f ter starting the DI Y pregnancy. a baby they were just blinded by the for me to go through emotionally.” the women who had tried for eggs. They were fertilised and
for her friend’s help, she was insemination process, Louise fell At 34 weeks, she was booked in for excitement.” Louise then had to spend 12 hours years to fall pregnant. the best embryos implanted in
desperate to help somebody pregnant at the third attempt. a growth scan, because baby Jack was Two weeks before the baby was with Jack. As her biological son, he handed Jack over to the couple. She She said: “When I Lyndsay.
else. She says she did not see the couple small for his gestation. due, Louise contacted the couple – couldn’t leave hospital without her. explained: “Jack is their baby and I announced I was going to be She says she never had any
She said: “I’m a big believer in
karma and I believe if someone
again until the 12-week scan.
Lou ise added: “I had a bad
And Louise began to worry about
the tiny baby growing inside her.
and warned them she was considering
keeping him.
Louise said: “He was sleeping in a
cot at the bottom of my bed, I tried to
don’t have feelings for him.
“What I miss is the baby I wish I
HELP AND a surrogate mum, Alan said to
me, ‘About time, I wondered
concerns about handing over
her baby to Joy.
does a good deed for you, you
should carry it forward.”
pregnancy. My stomach muscles
separated and I had this giant bulge
She said: “I phoned the couple and
asked them to come with me.
She said: “I didn’t feel like a
surrogate. I felt like I was giving
pretend he wasn’t there.
“At one point, he was moving around
could have had.”
But, amazingly, Louise still believes
ADVICE when you were going to get
round to it’.”
Lyndsay explained: “The
baby wasn’t biologically
away my own baby.” and his blanket came lose. He managed To find out more mine. I cared for this little
Sam was just five months old where the tissue in my abdomen “I was disappointed with their in surrogacy – and plans to try to help Lyndsay, who’d moved to
response because they did not seem On March 5 this year, Louise gave to get half his wee face under it. another infertile couple. information on baby growing inside me, but I
when a friend told her she knew a kept popping out. Bridgend, Wales, to be near
couple who had been trying for years “I had constant bleeds, then I to see that I was struggling. They were birth to Jack just two days early. “I went over, tucked him back in She said: “If I’d found a couple who surrogacy, visit the didn’t love him.
her mum, joined the Child-
to have a baby. developed pelvic pain, which blind to what I was going through.” She said: “The moment after I gave and put him where he was safe. were right for me, I would have been website of agency lessness Overcome Through “That sounds really cold
Before Louise knew it, she had met meant I was on crutches and a back Louise had hoped they would birth was the hardest. “It was such a motherly instinct, to left in a better emotional state. COTS on www. Surrogacy agency (COTS). but, to me, I was doing a job. I
brace and could barely walk. support her during her pregnancy and “The midwife brought the baby out make sure he was OK.” “I would like to do it again but I surrogacy.org.uk She read seven profiles was babysitting Joy’s baby.”
Bittersweet: Louise with Jack That’s OK if you’re pregnant with help her through the tough times. and tried to hand him to me while I Despite her reservations, Louise would have to absolutely sure.”