1. Hello.Myname isJosephJacobson. Ihave movedaroundWisconsinall mylife.I’velivedinMilwaukee,
La Crosse,Janesville,Beloit,andevenOrfordville.Ihadmanystrugglesgrowingup.Iwas the weirdkid
that made people uncomfortablewithme,andtoa reasonI still don’tunderstand.ShortlesstosayI had
problemswithmakingfriends.I’dalwaysfindatleastone friendevery time Imovedtoa new location,
but justone personisn’talwaysenough.
I enjoyplayingvideogames,watchingtvandmovies,writing, anddesigningsketchesandnotesfora
videogame Iwishto one day make,undercollaboration,intoasuccessfullypublicstate,orat leastto
the pointwhere Ican playmyown game forthe firsttime.
I was homelessacouple times.The firstone wasrelatedtomental healthissuesof the breadwinnerin
the apartmentmy familyshared.Ihadnothingbuta greenmilitarydufflebag,astandardmilitary
equipmentbag,andapillow.Iwalkedforhoursuntil Ifoundthe SalvationArmy.Istayedthere forclose
to three monthsbutduringthistime I wasofferedthe mostamazingjobI couldhave everwanted:
cleaningandcontrollingthe populationof invasiveplants,aswell asmaintainingtrialsthatwove
throughoutthe scenicbluffsof LaCrosse.
The secondtime I washomeless,Ihadmade the decisiontodoso. I wasaddictedto coldmedication
and I fearedthatif I didn’tgetawayfrom the environment thatacts as a trigger,I woulddie.Ipickedout
whichsuppliestobringwhichwasmainlyclothesandablanket.The firstthingIdidwhenI movedinto
the gym of a shelterwaslookforsomeone thatdoesn’twantanythingtodowithdrugs.Thiswas
surprisinglyeasyasaman that lookedtobe youngbegantalkingtome andeventuallywe started
hangingoutat cafesandthe park towatch the beautiful youngcollege womenof LaCrosse as they
glidedpastuson rollerblades.
Afterhavingfoundahome,I startedfeelingdifferent.Ifeltlikeanalienaroundpeople.Istartedhearing
voicesthatwere tellingme todocrazy stuff like jumpafence toget intoa pool,getcalledoutabout it
by a strangerin a car, and thenleavingasif I had notdone anythingwrong.Thisiswhere Igot really
crazy.
My medicationsmake my reflectesdull.Iusedabike togetto work and backbut I nearlygot hitbya car
aboutthree timesa week.Ididwhatno one else woulddoanddraggedmy bike intothe middle of the
streetandproceeded tosmashmy bike continuously.Afterthat,Iwentfora walkwhichwasnice until
the cops showedupoutof nowhere.All six orsevenofficersheldtheirgunsatme.I started thinking
thingslike,“If mynose itchesrightnow,I’ll be killed.”
I was diagnosedwithSchizo-Affective Disorderthe same dayIgot firedfrommyjob. From the day I was
noticingchangesincertainways,thatwere abnormal,Iwrote about mysymptomsintoa journal
poweredbytext.txt
I have writtenthisjournal overthe spanof more than a year.I wrote so oftenthatmy full journal
reachedto the upper80’s in pages. Inthese 80+ pagesI had attempted tokeepeverythingaccurate,full
of topics,andideas.
Ultimately,Ihave writtenthispage tohelpexpressthatthe workI have may change the outlookof a
confusedschizophrenictoa positive side,orevenbetter,toteachpeople thatrelate tothe same fieldof
topicthat they can alsohelpothers.